"Thanks for meeting us at the pet store, Fluttershy," Sunset Shimmer said, holding the door for her as she entered.
Fluttershy's eyelid twitched. "No problem."
Though Sunset noticed this, any concern she may have raised was cast aside in favor of a bouncing, twirling cloud of green-and-brown sweater bursting through the door.
Her girlfriend, Wallflower Blush, stood in awe at the front of the shop. Her gorgeous copper eyes shone with unabashed joy as she looked over the aisles. "Wow, there's so many animals here!"
Wrapping an arm around Wallflower, Sunset replied, "Yes, and you can have any of them you want."
"Yay." Fluttershy trudged into the pet store after them.
"Now, do you want something fluffy or—"
"Fluffy!"
"Fluffy it is." Sunset turned to their friend. "Alright, Fluttershy, what do you recommend?"
As the trio passed by some chirping birds, Fluttershy shot one a glare. "Oh no, I couldn't," she muttered, returning to the couple. "It shouldn't be my decision."
"But if you had to make a decision, which one would you choose?" Sunset asked.
After a moment, Fluttershy replied, "Pet rocks can be kind of cute."
Wallflower crossed her arms. "But I want something fluffy!"
"You could get one with moss."
"But I've always had pet rocks! And pet plants! And a pet pillow with lots of tear stains on it…" As she trailed off, Wallflower's eyes widened. "Wow, I used to be pretty lonely."
"And that's why we're here!" Giving her a reassuring smile, Sunset then pecked Wallflower's cheek. "We need to make sure you have good company while I'm at work."
Fluttershy shrugged. "Okay. What about a ladybug?"
"But that's not fluffy!" Wallflower's eyes sparkled with tears. "I want something I can hug when I get sad, which happens a lot!"
Sunset gave a reluctant sigh. "Yeah… it kinda does."
Fluttershy gestured towards the other side of the shop. "The mammals are over there."
"Oooh, mammals!" Without missing a beat, Wallflower ran across the store. "Do you think they have puppies?! I've always wanted a puppy!"
The other two girls followed after Wallflower, whose excited question was quickly answered. Under a banner reading "Adopt A New Friend!" was a small pen of puppies. Upon seeing the new faces, the puppies jumped at the barrier, barking and wagging their tails.
"Awww, look!" Wallflower reached down to take a puppy's paw in her hand. "This one's trying to shake! What a good boy! Or girl!"
"Awww, how adorable." Sunset joined her side. "I think he—or she—likes you, Wally."
Fluttershy shook her head. "I don't think that's a shake."
"What do you mean?" Wallflower asked, still playing with the puppy.
Slowly, Fluttershy leaned down until she was eye level with the puppy. "What are your thoughts on the Holocaust."
The puppy barked several times in succession, its tail wagging nonstop. It pushed its paw against Fluttershy's hand.
Fluttershy stood up. "Let's move on."
"Well, what did he say?" Wallflower asked.
"Let's move on."
Eyebrows raised, Wallflower followed after her—an even more confused Sunset in tow.
"What's the Holocaust?" Sunset asked.
Wallflower gaped. "Wha—didn't you take history classes?"
"I'm pretty sure I threatened some nerdy kids to do that homework for me."
"Uh—"
"Here are some kittens."
The announcement was made with little fanfare. Fluttershy stepped aside to reveal a similar adoption setup for a litter of kittens. She stood by as Wallflower, valid concerns abruptly and thoroughly forgotten, rushed over to pet them all at once.
"Oh, I've always wanted a kitty too!" One of the kittens nuzzled Wallflower's shoe, making her giggle. When she scratched around its chin and ears, it made a series of inquisitive-sounding chirps. "Aww, I think he likes me, Fluttershy! Tell me what he's saying!"
A few steps later, Fluttershy was crouched near the kitten. She tilted her head as the little cat meowed and purred. Then, she answered, "He wants to know if you voted for Ron Paul in 2008."
"2008? I was a kid!" Wallflower sputtered. "I couldn't vote!"
Sunset tapped her chin. "I was a unicorn in 2008. I'm not sure if I would've voted for Ron Paul. Also, who's Ron Paul?"
"Uhh—"
Across from the puppies and kittens were several displays for smaller pets. Letting the question hang, Wallflower grabbed Sunset's hand. "Come on, there's gotta be a pet here for me! Right, Fluttershy?"
"Yay." Fluttershy trailed behind them, stopping to glare at the puppy with its paw out.
Though not fluffy, an ant farm soon attracted Wallflower's attention. "Ooh, look, Sunset! I always thought ants were cool." One of the ants waggled its antenna in her direction. "Aw, she's saying hi to me!"
"Yeah, they are pretty neat." Glancing at Fluttershy, Sunset asked, "Can you understand what the ant is trying to say?"
Squinting, Fluttershy stared intently at the little worker. "Hmm… 'Stalin'... 'was'... 'based.'"
Wallflower wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Eww, I don't want a tankie pet."
"Yeah!" Sunset steered Wallflower towards another aisle. "Let's keep looking."
Again, Fluttershy followed. "Yay."
Once they'd taken a few steps, Sunset halted. "Wait, based on what?"
"Uhhh—" A nearby aquarium served as a convenient distraction. "Oooh, look, fish," Wallflower said, steering Sunset away. "They're not exactly fluffy—more like scaly—but they're still fun." When Wallflower pressed her face against the glass of the fishtank, a black-and-yellow fish swam up to her. Its goofy eyes maintained the same expression as the fish slammed into the glass. "Aww, he's kinda dumb, just like me!"
"Don't talk about yourself that way." Sunset tapped on the glass. "More like, he's cute, just like you!"
Wallflower blushed. "Well, all animals are cute, but—" The fish swam back and forth in front of her. Eyes wide, she mumbled, "Whoa, he really is like me."
Fluttershy piped up from behind them. "Those are gills."
"Oh." Wallflower tugged at the sleeves of her sweater. "Gotcha."
"So!" Turning around, Sunset changed the subject. "What about fish, Fluttershy? Can you talk to fish? What's this little guy saying?"
The fish blew a series of tiny bubbles, which floated to the surface of the tank.
With her ear to the bubbles, Fluttershy translated, "'What'... 'if'... 'the child'... 'consents'."
Wallflower immediately stepped away from the fishtank. "Uhhhh—what the heck kinda fish is th—" She peered at a label on the corner of the tank. "Ohhhhh."
The label read: Carassius ancapitus.
Fluttershy shrugged. "Most fish are the same. They're lawless."
"Isn't that kinda, uhhhhhh…" Wallflower raised an eyebrow. "Um, species-ist?"
"Technically, it's classist."
Meanwhile, Sunset shook her head at the label. "I'm starting to think maybe I shouldn't have skipped all those classes."
"No, classist," Fluttershy droned. "At least you got your GED."
Grabbing her girlfriend's hand, Wallflower declared, "We'll sort that out later. For now, I want a pet! Something that preferably doesn't have…" She groaned. "Horrible political opinions, apparently."
Whisking Sunset away from the fish, Wallflower led them to a big cage full of white rats. "Rats get a bad rap, but I'm sure they're sweet!" Her confused frown morphed into a calm smile. "Aww, they look so happy."
Nodding, Sunset found herself smiling in turn. The large enclosure had more than enough space for all of the critters. Large trays of grain and sliced fruits were scattered about, along with colorful toys and nests made of soft bedding. Truly, a rat paradise. "How cute," Sunset mused, "the workers even made little clothes for the rats."
"Clothes?" Beside her, Sunset heard Fluttershy gasp. "Oh, no." She grabbed the girls' hands. "Let's move on. Don't look in the corner."
As Fluttershy yanked them away, Wallflower looked back. "Uhhhhhhh—"
"Don't look in the corner."
Too late. Sunset did.
In the corner was a single black rat—dead. Some of the white rats circled around its body, squeaking and dancing as their robes swayed in the gentle breeze of the pet store.
Sunset retched. "Oh, Galaxia!"
Wallflower glanced over. "What?"
Sunset quickly snapped back around. "Hey, Fluttershy? Are there any normal pets left in this store?!"
A thousand-yard stare looked back at her. "This is normal."
As Fluttershy released their hands, Sunset realized she had dragged them back to the front of the store. She was about to protest when Wallflower's attention was yanked in another direction.
"Guinea pigs!" Wallflower ran over to the fluffy creatures. "They're so cuuuuuute! And look at their little sniffy snoots!" The guinea pigs' noses began to sniff. "You can't tell me these adorable little angels are rotten, too!" She began to pet them, giggling as she did so.
Once she caught up to her girlfriend, Sunset squeezed Wallflower's hand tight. "I've heard guinea pigs are really sweet." The little piggies began chirping and squealing. A bright, happy noise. Sunset smirked over at Fluttershy. "Well? Do we finally have some candidates?"
Heaving a sigh, Fluttershy replied, "If you insist." She joined them at the side of the cage.
The guinea pigs were now unfathomably loud. Wallflower could only exclaim with glee, "What are they saying, Fluttershy? What are they saying?!"
"Um…" Fluttershy bit her lip. "They're saying, 'God hates fa—'"
Looking, from Wallflower's anticipatory grin, to Sunset's trepidatious frown, and back to the couple's joined hands, Fluttershy fell silent. Then, she asked, "Are you sure you don't want a rock?"
"Well, hey…" Sunset looked down at Wallflower's new pet. "At least the moss makes it fluffy."
Sniffling, Wallflower pet the rock. "It's not the same…" She frowned down at the rock, then pet it even faster.
"You're telling me." With a sigh, Sunset turned to Fluttershy. "Well, um, thanks for coming with us, I guess."
"You're welcome. Enjoy your new pet." Fluttershy's face fell. "Now I need to get home and… feed Angel Bunny." Without waiting for goodbyes, she sulked away.
Sunset swore she heard some mutterings about a "curse" as Fluttershy left, along with the words "crypto" and "twitter," neither of which made much sense.
"Hey, Sunset?"
Shaking out of her thoughts, Sunset smiled at her girlfriend. "Yes, Wally?"
"Have you ever asked Fluttershy to talk to your gecko?"
"...I think I'd rather not."
Author's Note
