Today was Sunday, and it was going like most Sundays go for me.

Every day since Wednesday had been a slog, and I wanted to do nothing more than to stop existing, or at least be held by someone while I bitched about everything to them. Unfortunately, I couldn't do either of those things and the best alternative I had was to stay at home. Staying at home sucked though, since it was hot and I had very little to occupy myself with, and even lesser motivation to do anything.

That's how I found myself in my basement, on the floor, curled up and using the end of my tail as a pillow. The basement was the coolest place in my house at the moment, and that was added to by the table fan I had bought on Wednesday. I hadn't eaten anything but two toasts since I woke up and my stomach was more than happy to let me know that, while I was more than happy (not really) to ignore it like the stupid fat thing it was.

I hadn't slacked off the entire day like it seemed; I had put the crucible to work and it was currently making a new spider. It wasn't because I was lonely and wanted to replace the original Spider — that'd be impossible, and pathetic — I just had an idea that could get Voth's work done sooner, as it should. I just had to wait for the thing to come out to see if I can continue with my idea or not. Unfortunately, that would take a lot of time — about twelve to fourteen hours — and I didn't have a lot to do in that time.

I had tried sleeping to pass the time since I was tired from not having proper sleep last night, but the feeling of wasting time had stopped me from doing that. However, I didn't have the will to do any work at all, and so, I just stayed in my basement, feeling bad for being idle but not being able to do anything about it. Spending time outside might have been better than what I was doing now, and I could go and see if I can hang out with someone, but I'd just be bothering anyone I come across, at best. Most probably, if I step outside, I'll be judged and made fun of for being fat and ugly by random people for whatever reason, which was definitely happening with all the crap that Miss Rich had definitely spread about me after I told her to get lost.

Hanging out with my friends wasn't an option as I said earlier. Twilight and Lyra were probably busy today, with their friends and a photo shoot respectively, and I didn't want to bother them. Brush... I don't think she'd appreciate seeing me any time soon.

Long story short, after the whole thing with Miss Rich ruining my morning on Wednesday, I had walked off like a mad toddler and then when Brush came to see if I was alright, I told her to leave me alone. Rudely. More rudely than I should have — I shouldn't have been rude at all, but here I was, wishing I hadn't been rude. She hadn't talked to me since then, and I doubt she will again. Fair enough; it was only a matter of time anyway till she figured it was better for her to not be around me. It hurt to lose a friend, but I deserved that for being such a horrible excuse for a friend... I wished I wasn't me. I missed Brush's company.

On the bright side, which wasn't all that bright, my PMS was gone and my actual period had begun, which was somewhat better. I don't know much about horse biology — not that it matters; I'm a magical unicorn pony in an entirely different universe — but I'm sure that horses had heat or something, and honestly, that would be preferable to this monthly crap. At least, there was no bleeding involved like in humans.

The only other things I had going for me was that, yesterday, I had managed to finally fill out a form for a biomancy license, or rather, a general dark magic license since there wasn't anything for specific magics. Along with that, I had also filled our the weapons permit renewal. Now, I just had to wait for a response for that stuff, which meant more waiting. Yay.

I yawned and turned to lie on my right side, letting my back face the fan. The floor was a bit uncomfortable, but it was cold and I was more than used to lying on the floor. However, I still felt restless, and my thoughts would just keep going back to me being a loser. I really missed my laptop; it had all the brain-rot and chat bots to keep me distracted from thinking.

I curled up a bit more, and tried focusing on the various sounds in my house. There weren't many though— just my breathing, the fan, and the crucible making some wet sound every now and then. Some more listening later, my ears were starting to do that stupid ringing when its silent. I sat up straight and looked around. The basement was probably the most decorated part of my house but even then it was rather empty. Just two tables with assorted junk and the four dull grey walls. It felt empty, the opposite of what a basement should be. Well, I won't be losing stuff if I don't have much to begin with. That was... kind of sad, but I haven't done much to deserve otherwise.

I got up and walked over to the crucible to check on the progress of the new spider, even though I had a rough idea of what it would be like. One of the crucible's eyes followed me as I walked the little distance to it, but I didn't care much. Inside it, the pink water was slowly churning and a little, obscured shape was attached to the inside walls. If I pulled it out now, it'd probably look like a blob of meat. I continued watching it as it grew almost imperceptibly. Maybe I could pass time by watching it? No, that felt weird, and I doubt that it'd distract me enough. I continued watching it though, thinking about what I could do.

My eyes drifted over to one of the tables and the stuff that was on it. There was my notebook that I used to record any observations, just in case, the magic books, and finally, pieces of my gun. I had all the stuff for the gun in a pile on the table, but I hadn't assembled it because... I don't know. I had got all the stuff that I needed by Thursday and after that, I had done nothing. Was I procrastinating? Probably; I wouldn't trust myself to not be lazy.

I continued staring at the pile of stuff, thinking about putting it together instead of doing it. I walked over to the table and sorted out the pile. All the magic things were grouped together on one side, and the non-magic stuff on the other. I still had to finish a copper coil but that'd take like, a minute at max, and then I could get this over with.

However, I didn't do it right away. I stood there, staring at the stuff like a dummy. My thoughts were kind of a mess and I couldn't focus long enough to force myself to get to work. Besides, I could really go for something to eat right now, and I didn't feel like doing anything else right now, especially something boring. Maybe later.

I shook my head and grumbled a slur at myself.

I hadn't done anything to deserve a 'little' break, literally nothing; I was literally lying down on the floor until now. I should get this over with, even if I didn't feel like it — not that my feelings mattered in the first place. This indecision was just an excuse for wasting time.

Yet, it didn't go away. The debate raged on in my head: to slack off or not. It seemed so obvious — just don't waste your time — but noo, I just had to have the stupid argument with myself. Even with that self-awareness, the indecision didn't go away.

After some long moments of standing like an idiot, I sighed and finally moved. Away from the table.

It felt bad but it was hard to get behind doing something right now. I left the basement quickly and found myself in the kitchen, hoping to get something to forget my troubles temporarily. A cheese sandwich would probably help, even if it's just a little bit, and so, I made myself a cheese sandwich. However, with that sandwich made, I was out of bread. I'd have to get more soon... tomorrow. I wish tomorrow doesn't come.

I didn't eat it right away, and instead, walked to the backdoor with my sandwich held in my mouth because it was stuffy in the kitchen even with the window open. I pulled back the curtains and then waited for my eyes to adjust to the new light in the living room. The time was somewhere between morning and noon, probably closer to noon, I'm pretty sure. There was no doubt that outside would be hot. However, I only intended to see if there was a breeze outside, which I couldn't tell by just looking through the glass door.

I opened the backdoor and fortunately, there was a cool breeze outside, much better that anything my fan could do. I stood there for a moment, eyes closed and sandwich in mouth, as I let my mane flutter around in the breeze. I felt significantly better now. I could probably just stay here, maybe lie down just outside the sunlight, till I forgot about my problems—

I shook my head and grumbled at catching myself almost going back to procrastinating.

I walked myself to a couch and sat down on it. My body told me to lie down as well but I refused and began eating my sandwich. It was finished too quick and now I was sitting on the couch, still hungry and with nothing to do. This should've been the end of my little break from doing nothing, but now that I was here, I was again hit with the problem of not wanting to do anything, and again, I had trouble finding the will to do something about it. After a bit of quiet struggle, I lay down on the couch. I didn't think I could force myself into doing stuff today — I was tired —, and even if I could, I'd do stuff sloppily. I'd do it tomorrow for sure.

That justification for my lethargy didn't stop me from feeling bad though. I spent the next ten or so minute just trying to fall asleep so I don't have to deal with anything, but I was too sad, and wasn't tired enough to sleep. It was hell, and I hated it. I didn't know how to deal with it, besides just shutting up and telling myself that I just have to get to tomorrow, i.e., thugging it out. But tomorrow was probably going to suck as well, just for different, and maybe today's, reasons.

I shrunk back and curled up, focusing on anything else besides today or tomorrow. There wasn't much to see, but there was a bit more to hear. It was mostly the faint sound of leaves rustling, the clock ticking upstairs, and finally, the even fainter sounds of people. What were they doing? It was a bright and sunny day; they were probably out, with family and friends, having a good time. I wish I could do that. I whined a bit and curled up some more. It was lonely here, and I couldn't do much about it besides thugging it out. I think I'll just rot here on the couch till tomorrow.

I woke up with a start as someone knocked at the front door. I turned and sat up without much thinking, and then fell forward and off the couch, hitting my nose on the carpeted floor.

"Ow," I groaned as I slowly sat up straight and rubbed my nose.

My arms were shaky and they felt weak and like jelly. My body felt sore as a whole, and the left side of my head stung a bit from where my glasses had been pressed against it. I was both thirsty and famished. I opened my eyes and looked around, only to find everything blurry. The only thing I could tell was that the room was a bit darker than before I had dozed off. My vision should come back in a minute or two.

I took a moment to steady myself and get a bearing. I was in my living room, not my bed. It was afternoon. I had drool on the side of my mouth, which I quickly wiped away with a hoof. What was I doing here? Oh, right, wasting time. I guess I fell asleep like, however long ago, an hour or two probably. Why did I wake up again?

There was knocking on the door again.

I stood up and walked to the front door almost automatically, feeling light headed. I put a hoof to the knob and it was then that I regained control. What was going on? Yeah, somebody outside. Who'd want to meet me now though? I looked down at myself. I didn't even look presentable. They'd probably point and laugh if they saw me now. But they had probably heard me walk to the door, so I couldn't ignore them. I guessed I had to see who it was.

I unlocked and then opened the door just a bit. It was Brush; she was outside. At first, I was relieved; it was just her. Then, I was afraid; it was her. As far as I knew, I was sure she didn't want to see me. Was she going to say that to my face, to stop me if I ever though otherwise? No, she wouldn't ever be that mean—

"Hey Anya!" she greeted, throwing me off. She seemed cheerful. Or was she? I couldn't tell; I could barely remember how her tone was when she said that. I wasn't sure if she was happy to see me or not.

"H- hi," I replied, opening the door a bit more. It was after I did it that I realised that I shouldn't have opened the door as much; she could see me entirely and I looked like trash. I couldn't close the door now though since that'd be rude. I just stood, staring at her blurry face while silently panicking and preparing for a mean comment.

"Hey, is everything alright?" she asked, instead of saying what I expected, throwing me off again.

"Yeah," I lied quickly. There's no way she fell for it though, but why would that matter — she probably doesn't care about what I say, but if she did — like a part of me hoped —, I didn't want her to be worried.

She remained silent, making me more nervous and look down at the ground. I had to stop myself from squirming or pawing at the ground. Finally, she spoke, "Anya, you're— your nose is bleeding."

"Hm?" I looked up. Was she looking at me with concern? I put a hoof to my nose and wiped. Upon inspection, I found that my white fetlock was stained with a little red. It took me a moment to realise that it was blood, probably from falling off the couch. I wiped again, but there wasn't much change in the size of the blood splotch on my fetlock. The physical wound would go away in a few minutes; less if I healed it, which is what I did. My horn lit up and I cast a quick healing spell on myself. There was a burning sensation for a second as the wound healed in a similar-ish manner to how it would if I put an OB on it, and then I was alright. I'd have to see if I stained the carpet though.

I then realised that I had forgotten that Brush was there while I did all that. I quickly averted what little eye contact I could make.

"It'll be alright," I muttered as I wiped away any remaining blood. Then, I asked, "Why— what brings you here?" I think I said that rudely, which I probably did. I didn't mean to, but I did. I wish she'd leave already, even if it would suck to see her go and then be alone again. I'm getting too used to having someone.

Brush took a moment to answer. "Well, today seemed like a pleasant day, and I wanted to spend some time with you—" She took in a breath. I was waiting for the 'but'. "—but... nevermind."

I looked back up at her as she continued, cheerful again, though with some apprehension now, "As I was saying, would you like to go outside, maybe to the park?"

Again, I was confused on what to do and how to react. On one hand, it seemed that Brush was alright with me, even though I was mean to her. On the other, it was entirely possible that she wasn't alright with me and that I was just be wasting her time.

I was pulled out of thought as Brush added, more apprehensive than cheerful, "It's alright if you don't, and if you want me to go away." She seemed sad to say that, especially the last part. I didn't want to see her sad like that, especially because of me.

"Sure," I blurted out almost immediately. Brush was happy to hear that; I wasn't as much. Sure, I had made her happy but I was also inconveniencing her now. I tried focusing on the positive side — she was happy to be around me and didn't dislike me like I had thought — but dark thoughts kept coming to me, telling me that'll be rectified soon and that I'd be alone again. Whatever, I had to deal with the present first. "Just wait a bit, I'll be out soon."

I had made myself look as presentable as I could in the span of five minutes, which was nowhere near what I would have liked. I didn't spend more time though, mainly because I didn't want to keep Brush waiting. After that, we were out on the streets, walking at Brush's leisurely pace. It seemed like a nice day outside; the sky was bright and blue, birds were out and about, flowers here and there — it looked peaceful like the XP background. But I couldn't care about all that.

We talked as we walked, and by that I mean, she talked while I just nodded and hummed and all that stuff that made it seem like I didn't care about what she was saying. I did care, but I just couldn't make much conversation since I was too busy trying not to look nervous. When I had agreed to coming outside, I had forgotten that outside was where all the people were, and though I couldn't confirm it, I was sure that every other pony that had seen me had made some remark about me. I wanted to go back home (and never come back out) but I had committed to being outside and couldn't turn back now.

The other thing that bugged me was that I hadn't yet apologised to Brush for being rude to her on Wednesday, and just being a burden in general. She was probably waiting for me to do that, and I definitely should if I wanted to be a half-decent friend at least. The problem was finding the words to begin with. I didn't want to mess up in a manner that pushed her away from me for real.

We were in the park right now, just idly walking whichever way Brush took. I didn't lag behind since she'd just slow down to match my pace and keep me at her side if I did. She'd point out something, like a flower, every now and then but otherwise the walk was quiet. I didn't really know when was the right time to begin, or if I should do it now, but I had already told myself that I will. I took a breath and then began when the time seemed right.

"Hey, Brush."

She turned an ear towards me but kept her eyes on the path, which was good since there wasn't any eye-contact. "Hm?"

"I... I probably should have said this earlier," I still looked away to say that.

"What is it?"

"I'm sorry for... Wednesday."

She stopped walking for a moment at that, and I did as well. She then resumed walking quietly, and I followed. However, the silence felt different, and it seemed that I had messed up. I shouldn't have mentioned Wedn—

"It's alright," she said, interrupting my catastrophising. I was taken aback by how quickly she had let it go; it seemed too easy. She continued, turning to smile at me, "You were upset and needed time."

"But I—" I tried telling her that she was going too easy on me, but she put a wing over my back and turned back.

"Look, it's alright. You just had a bad day then — I'm sure anybody would if they went through the same situation," she reassured. It was that easy. A weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I could breath a sigh of relief. I still felt worried for some reason. Brush continued, "Anya, I know that you're nervous about something, and I don't want my friends to be troubled by something when I can help. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I— ye— no, you don't have to..."

"I don't have to, but I want to help." She tightened her wing hug a bit and looked to me. "Tell me, are you upset because of what that... mare had said to you?" She frowned at having to mention Miss Rich.

It took me a moment to answer, "I was mostly worried because... I thought I... pushed you away, but... yeah, what she said still make me feel bad." It was both relieving and embarrassing to admit, but mostly relieving.

Brush hummed in response. "You know that she was just trying to bring you down, probably because she didn't want to see anybody be happier than her. You look a lot better than she wants you to think; I think she's just jealous."

"Hm, yeah." My ears lowered and I looked down. Sure, it was nice to hear that, but it was hard to believe. I didn't say anything else though since I didn't want to upset Brush. I just wanted to hug her and hang out somewhere that wasn't outside.

She continued, more unsure now, "And... well, if you're trans like she said..."

I felt my heart skip a beat and shrink back a bit. It was the one thing I did not want to address because it would go bad most likely. Pony-me had lost basically all friends who learned that one detail, and I didn't look forward to one more, however unlikely that was. Even though that seemed unlikely with Brush, I still found myself looking down and mentally bracing for a negative response anyway. It wasn't nice to her, and I didn't like doing it.

"...I won't think any less of you. You're just my friend first."

I was so happy to be proven wrong in my assumption. I was deciding if I should explain my situation to her, or hug her first, but was stopped as she continued, "I— I'm not saying that you are, I just—"

I stopped and hugged her. It was awkward, and seemingly out of nowhere, but I just couldn't help it — she was probably the best friend I ever had. I stopped her mid-sentence and she took a moment to return the hug. I guess I had told her enough through this gesture; I'd explain more to her later but I didn't care much about that right now. I was happy that I was with a friend; that's what mattered right now.

Author's Note

20s Au

NGL, the drama needs work, but the chapter has to be finished — decent-good chapter is better than no chapter at all, and not everything has to be perfect to be good 👍 (I should really stop trying to justify my bad writing by pointing out how others things have been worse but successful. Having an editor or pre-reader would counter that issue, but I don't have any lol)

Semi-spoiler: Miss Rich will return to trouble Anya, but not now; Anya's busy hugging Brush.

I was originally gonna edit and post this Friday morning but I need the dopamine hit. I apologise for the unedited chapter

I considered replacing the "adventure" tag with the "slice of life" but it wouldn't be great since Anya's "normal" day is closer to a bad day for a normal person, than a normal day + she doesn't have many "normal" slice-of-life days in the story.

It's kinda hard to write this story at times since it is rather far off from the main characters of the MLP show (who everybody wants to read about), and becuase I am in no capacity a "good" writer (a lot of the chapters in the story are low quality in some way, this chapter included), and also because keeping Anya (relatively) grounded is a bit hard at times. The problem is that because of the established lore of the story, there is no real reason for Anya to interact with the mane 6 outside of Twilight. RETCONS will be hard since there's over 150k words to go over, and nobody will like to reread this stuff.

I'm thinking about using Anya's eldritch backing, and the eldritch in general, as a way to get the characters to interact more but I feel like I might make it an evil deus ex machina thing, or mess up character interactions with unrealistic dramas. There's also the problem of justifying the branches of magic she's learning, and keeping things fresh (only flesh-craft will get boring) while trying to balance out the ~~edging~~ wait for newer magics.

Speaking of that, there's also the magic system but that's easier to deal with right now since the magic currently introduced is based on some scientific fact, mainly the law of conservation and some other stuff. Artifice is mainly based on the existing properties of metal. Biomancy is a bit more vague since I can't find a lot of information on medical and body related subjects, but I guess it's called "magic" for a reason. I'll have to work to keep it from being too overpowered though. Getting into the "real" (or maybe "high") magic is gonna be more difficult, but I'll probably figure it out, or bullshit my way through it good enough.

There's also Nemo, the other human in Equestria, and her story line. I introduced her mainly to show that the eldritch things can be horrible beyond reason but now she doesn't have much of a purpose, but I'll see if I can do something with her. (Anya mom arc???)

Anyway, moving on from the yap sesh, here's a picture of Brush that I made:

(source: https://www.deviantart.com/arandomlonelydude/art/Brush-Revamped-1105917078
alternate: https://derpibooru.org/images/3457195)

loaf :3