I had contacted Voth right after I got home and immediately informed him of the predicament I was in. He didn't say anything besides ordering me to go to sleep. I don't remember his exact words but I remember the distinct feeling of doom and being in trouble. Despite the fear I felt, I had somehow managed to go to sleep as he had ordered.

I had woken up again, but not in real life. Though the surroundings I found myself in looked exactly like my house, I just knew that it wasn't the real thing. That was further reinforced by the outside just being grey fog instead of the usual forest. The only issue was that Voth wasn't there, making me more nervous. The feeling that I was in trouble I couldn't get out of kept growing in my chest like a thorny vine.

Though I was in a dream, and I knew that, I couldn't alter anything in it, meaning that the only thing to pass time was to pace in circles and prepare for Voth's arrival. I was in the living room, which let me pace in a larger space that wasn't as suffocating as my room. None of the lights were on, and the room was dimly lit up by the light that came from outside. It was very quiet too, to the point that I could hear my hoofsteps. My head still hurt, but not as much as it did earlier.

I wasn't worried about Voth only, however — I multitasked by worrying about what I had seen earlier in the day as well. Princess Celestia was suspicious of me already, and this was like the second time I met her. The first time I had met her, I hadn't had any headaches, and my stress was mostly normal. This time, I had a headache that felt really out of place. The best explanation I had was that she had cast some spell or something that had negative effects on me.

Though she wouldn't be in Ponyville most of the time, and definitely not around me for the time she was, she still had eyes and ears. Twilight was the major one, and I was concerned that the princess would give her the same spell that she used, which will make my life harder and more importantly, give them the data to confirm the princess's suspicions. Besides Twilight, there could be more people sent after me, and that terrified me. They could strike at any time, when I'm least expecting it. They will. And Voth told me that if that happens, it won't be good. Run away while you still can.

I was brought out of my worried pacing by the back door sliding open, letting in a wind so cold it could have frozen water on the spot. Along with the cold wind, a wave of dark water of a colour I could only describe as 'void' flowed in. The water took up the side of the room opposite to mine and stayed there, rippling angrily. I watched it, so tense that I was grinding my teeth.

The puddle shook violently and then split into several fountains of dark water. The fountains coalesced into a single large spout of shadows, before taking on a slightly equine shape. Several eyes and mouths and ears and other things opened up all over the surface of Voth. All looked angry, and all looked at me. I cowered in fear, and shivered from the cold wind.

"THE SUN KNOWS?" he asked immediately.

I choked at first, not being able to answer. However, the glare he gave me forced my throat to open up, "I— she's suspicious— she's having Twilight keep watch on me to get evidence."

His eyes didn't narrow but I got the distinct feeling that he had his eyes narrowed at me.

"THE SUN DOES NOT HAVE EVIDENCE GOOD," he noted, almost positively. However, his tone shifted as he continued, "BUT YOU HAVE COMPROMISED MY WORK."

Though he was right about me compromising everything, I wasn't the one to blame — I didn't do it on purpose. I voiced my objection to the implication, "I— I didn't want to be close to her! She was the one who cornered me and she had some aura spell thing, and I— I couldn't just run away. That'd be more susp—"

Voth interrupted me loudly, "YOU COULD HAVE AVOIDED HER EASILY BY CLAIMING YOU HAD SOMETHING ELSE TO DO YOU COULD HAVE RUN AWAY IF NEEDED BUT YOUR LOYALTY TO THOSE YOU PERCEIVE AS FRIENDS OUTWEIGHS YOUR LOYALTY TO ME."

I wanted to say something, anything, that would prove him wrong, but there wasn't anything I could think of. He was right, I shouldn't have put myself at risk by sticking my neck out for Twilight. But it was wrong to be selfish. I could only stare at the ground in fear like a kid caught doing something wrong. I just hoped that making up for the mistake won't be a painful process.

"I OBSERVE THAT MY ENERGY ON YOU HAS DEGRADED MY BLOCKS ON YOUR MIND ARE FALLING APART YOU ARE UNABLE TO OPERATE EFFECTIVELY WITHOUT MY RESTRAINTS," he said, assessing all that was wrong with me. I just felt more ashamed. "YOUR MIND ITSELF IS WEAK IT SPLINTERED EASILY FROM THE SUN'S ENERGY IF YOU HAD STAYED LONGER YOU WOULD HAVE REVEALED YOURSELF AND ENDED YOURSELF AND THIS ALL."

I kept silent, my throat feeling like it wrapped with barbed wire.

"YOU NEED TO LEARN FEAR IF YOU WISH TO SURVIVE."

I looked up from the ground and at him as those words emanated from him. My eyes met two of his, and I felt all my fur stand on its end at that instant. Run. The next instant, Voth had surged forward and covered most of my head. I couldn't even blink at that time. GET AWAY. I couldn't move a muscle as Voth completely covered my head with himself. It was terrifying but not painful. Yet. I tried staying calm, reasoning that he did something like this once and that I'd be better off letting him do his thing. But the look in his eyes before he started made me question myself — I was in the dark, both about what he was doing, and also literally. I still somehow clung to the idea that this was for the better.

"YOU WILL LEARN FEAR FOR YOUR OWN GOOD."

There was light all of a sudden.

Bright, searing light. My eyes were forced open and my head held in place. There was no escape.

The dream was gone, and so was Voth. I was facing an equine figure of light and terrible fury. She stood over me, towering and glaring at me with hatred that scared me. I could only hear the roar of hellfire all around as I slowly burned under her wrathful gaze. But the most prominent feeling was not of burning but that of pain. It was everywhere, permeating me inside and out. My eyes burned as the moisture in them evaporated from the sheer heat, but still, I could see her. It was princes— The Sun.

She pointed an accusatory hoof at me and flared her wings. Words came out of her mouth, garbled words that were unintelligible but conveyed the anger she felt for me, the message that I was going to perish painfully. The Sun reached down for me, her hoof stretching an impossible distance from the heavens to the pit I was in, like a vengeful pillar of fire coming down to burn the earth, and she grabbed me by my horn. It didn't vaporise from the heat, nor did it break under her strength. It melted. I could feel it as it melted from her touch and burnt my forehead and eyes as they too melted. I felt my body start liquifying under the heat, being rid of all that was foreign to the world, all that I was. I could still see without my eyes, unfortunately.

Somehow, I screamed after all that, not for mercy but for a quicker end — they were practically the same thing at this point.

Everything went dark.

It was cold and small, wherever I was. I could feel myself just enough to know that I was bound and gagged. The surroundings were damp and cold, and the air reeked of rotting things. It was too dark for me to see anything.

I knew that I was in a dungeon, not a prison, and that I was here because I had been found out. I couldn't remember how or when it happened, but I knew that it had happened. Nightmare. I didn't know how long I had been in the cell, waiting for the end. Voth had told me that if I was caught, only one thing would happen to me — still, I hadn't been careful. I had slipped up somewhere. Wake up.

I heard the sound of hooves on stone coming closer. A guard, probably. They were here for me, to take me to the execution chamber and put me down. It was horrible, knowing that the end was here but that I couldn't do anything about it besides making it more painful for myself.

The hooves stopped a short distance from me. There was the sound of a horn lighting up followed by a metal door being thrown open. I tried lifting my head up only for it to be slammed down into the ground. I was then dragged out of the cell by my mane. It was still too dark to see anything, not that I cared too much about that with the pain I was feeling.

There was a sudden jerk and a bunch of my mane was ripped off, leaving me lying on the floor, biting the gag in pain. A light turned on all of a sudden, blinding me for a moment. My eyes quickly adjusted though, and I could see that I was in the middle of some room, under a spotlight. I wasn't alone.

I could make out Twilight just beyond the light, staring at me. I tried calling out for her to help me but it came out as a bunch of muffled noises. Twilight didn't seem to care, however, and she just stared at me. She won't help you. I looked around to see what was wrong, but spotted someone else: Brush. She stood at an angle such that I couldn't see her and Twilight at the same time. She was only partly concealed in the shadows, letting me see that she was staring down at me with a mixture of disgust and amusement. In her right paw was a bunch of black hair. She had... betrayed me.

"Ah, Twilight, Brush, I see that you've got the agent ready." I turned my head around to see Princess Celestia walking up to Twilight's side. I couldn't see her face but I could imagine the hatred in her expression at seeing me.

"Yes, we did," Twilight replied in a flat tone, still staring down at me. Or was she glaring?

"I have to thank you both once again for reporting it to me. Who knows what it would've done if left hidden," the princess continued, confirming that my friends had found me out. I was shocked, but it made sense. Voth had told me this would happen and it did.

As if to rub it in, Brush replied in a venemous tone, "It was our duty, princess. I don't want monsters running about, lying and plotting. I still can't believe that it tricked me into thinking it was my friend."

It's not her. I wanted to say something, anything, to get her to realise that I would never do any of that — that I was her friend. But her tone made her convictions about me clear. She wouldn't have trusted anything I would have said. It hurt a lot, knowing my first proper friends, especially Brush, wouldn't care about what I had to say in my defence. But I had been warned about this. This was all my fault. It's a lie.

I was suddenly grabbed in a golden aura of magic and suspended in the air. "Twilight, could you begin the procedure, as I showed you?"

Twilight stepped forward, holding a red blade in her magic. Now that she was closer, she was looking at me with a disappointed look that I was clearly the cause of. Who wouldn't be disappointed if their friend was a liar?

"With pleasure, princess," she said, before bringing the blade to my chest. I tried struggling against the princess's hold but she held me firm. There was nothing I could do except scream into the gag as Twilight started carving.

I opened my eyes and saw Voth looking down at me. I was in my living room, on the couch where Voth had grabbed my head. Immediately, I sat up straight, looking around for any signs of anyone — being seen with Voth would mean a painful end.

"CALM YOURSELF YOU ARE STILL IN YOUR DREAM," Voth said to me, bringing my attention to him. He was in his equine shape, sitting next to me on the couch almost casually. Seeing that he had my attention, he continued, "YOU HAVE SEEN THE PATHS YOUR FUTURE HOLDS FOR YOU SHOULD YOU STRAY FROM THE FEAR I NEED YOU TO LIVE BY YOU NOW KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD FEAR AND WHY."

I just looked at him with my mouth hung open. It wasn't real, all that I had been through, but it felt very real. Maybe it was because it could— would happen. I had one question to ask. "You can't help me if I get found out?"

"NO THE RISK OF EXPOSING MYSELF IS TOO HIGH AND NOT WORTH SAVING YOU," he answered, making my heart sink. He narrowed one of his eyes at me. "YOU HAVE ONLY EXPERIENCED A FRACTION OF THE PAIN YOUR 'FRIENDS' CAN CAUSE YOU I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS NOONE YOU CAN TRUST BESIDES ME."

I nodded, having flashbacks of the visions he showed me. I teared up a bit remembering betrayal from my friends. I wanted to believe that it would never happen, no matter what, but I knew that reality wasn't like that. Hell, they'd turn their backs on me for lesser things. I was alone in the world, as I had always been. There was no one I could trust with anything.

Voth put a wing around me and pulled me closer.

"YOU WILL REMAIN UNHARMED IN MY CARE IF YOU SERVE ME," he said reassuringly. I knew I could trust him on that, and it made me feel a bit better. After a moment, he continued, "NOW AWAKEN AND HEAL YOURSELF."

I felt myself slip away from Voth and start falling.

I woke up with a gasp. My body hurt and my head felt like it was full of lead. The light was on which, while making my head hurt more, also let me see that I was in my kitchen, sitting on the floor with my back to the fridge. I quickly looked around and was relieved to see that I was all by myself at the moment. No princesses, no 'friends', just me.

I tried getting up but was stopped by a flare of pain from my chest and a squeak and something clattering to the ground next to my leg. I looked down and saw Steeve perched on my chest, looking up at me blankly. I stopped to stare back for a few moments before looking for what had fallen to my side.

It was a knife. A bloodied knife.

I looked back to Steeve, and noticed something more. I pulled Steeve off of me with shaking hooves, noticing that his underside was a dark red instead of the usual white. I looked down at myself and saw that my chest was covered in dull red blood, all coming from what was clearly a rune carved onto me. I felt nauseous at the sight but there wasn't anything in me to throw up.

I then remembered what Voth had told me to do before he made me wake up: that I had to heal myself. I got right to it, reaching out to my magic and making it fix me even though it hurt to just use my horn. My vision was blurred with tears as I started healing the wounds,the burning sensation of the healing combining with the pain already present to make me feel terrible. Other sensations came as well as I healed, mainly thirst, hunger, and fatigue.

By the time I was done, I felt like I was going to pass out there on the floor. I wanted to get something to drink but my legs were too weak to move beyond some twitching. I felt dirty as well with all the blood and sweat on me, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. I held Steeve close to myself to not feel as bad as I did. He didn't squeak, almost as if he knew I wasn't well.

I closed my eyes and focused on breathing normally. I wanted to go to sleep and deal with all this later but I was too tired and too thirsty to sleep. But I was too tired to move as well, meaning I could fulfill none of my needs and could only suffer on the floor until I managed to get the strength to get up or fall asleep.

After a while of sitting with my eyes closed, I felt Voth's presence in my mind. "YOU HAVE HEALED YOURSELF GOOD."

I tried thinking of a reply, but my thoughts didn't form any coherent words that could express me. After a bit of concentrating, I asked, 'What happened?'

"WHILE YOU WERE IN YOUR DREAM I CONTROLLED YOUR BODY TO CARVE A RUNE INTO IT THE RUNE HAS TAKEN A TOLL ON YOU BUT YOU ARE NOW PROTECTED," he answered, which just made me question why he made the rune. Fortunately, he elaborated, "IN A FEW DAYS THE MOON WILL BE AT ITS STRONGEST CAUSING MY BLOCKS ON YOU TO DEGRADE AT AN EXTREMELY HIGH RATE THE RUNE I HAVE PLACED ON YOU WILL SERVE AS A SAFEGUARD AGAINST THE DEGRADATION AND AS A SOLUTION TO THE NATURAL DEGRADATION UNDER THE SUN'S INFLUENCE."

That sounded bad, sure, but there was a nagging feeling in my head that he had went overboard with the rune. 'What happens if your magic degrades?'

"YOU START FALLING APART AND YOU BECOME MORE VISIBLE TO THE SUN."

'Falling apart?'

"YOUR MIND BEGINS TO DEGRADE IN FUNCTION."

I didn't feel like I could pursue or process a deeper explanation right now. Besides, the rune was for my protection, which meant that there wasn't any 'going overboard' with it. I didn't want to think too much into it, and just wanted something to drink and something to eat and to sleep.

With great difficulty, I managed to get up and move myself towards the sink. I needed a bath as well, and I also had to clean Steeve, but that could wait until I was done with drinking water.

Author's Note

25f Au ~0300

as it turns out, traumatising people is a good way to make them easier to control. dwarf fortress is right about things once again

sorry for not posting since last year lol

voth's power being affected by the phases of the moon and the season was only added this chapter, but by coincidence (or maybe my subconscious locking in), voth's actions's power levels are roughly consistent with the phases of the moon.

also, don't worry about anya, she'll have some (relatively) good chapters after this one