Name-Calling

by dunno

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Twilight Sparkle, Anon, Porn, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Colgate, Fetish, Comedy, Non-consensual, Sex, Profanity, Random
Length: 4330

Anon is an idiot. But he makes amends.

Anon is an idiot. But he makes amends.

Clop with a bit of plot. Anon x Colgate Minuette.

Includes:
Brief non-con toothbrushing followed by con stuff.
Might contain weird fetishes that you disapprove of.

'Art' by me. Just to fuel your nightmares further.

Published 2022-10-15 19:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-10-15 19:30:00 UTC

Brushie Brush Brush

As you walk the sunlit streets of Canterlot, you can't help but raise your green-skinned arms to the sky and let out a hearty yawn.

What a slow and boring day it has been so far.

Twilight has been babbling about the importance of friendship since early morning, and it doesn't look like she'll stop anytime soon.

"...is very important! So, a good friend of mine has agreed to give you a chance as well. Her name is-"

"Colgate!" you shout, and interrupt Twilight as a light blue mare slowly, but also somewhat hesitantly, walks towards the both of you, step by step on her little hooves.

Clop Clop Clop

The mare in question stops in her tracks and looks at you with bewilderment. "Excuse me?" She glances over her shoulder at the empty street behind her. "Who?"

Twilight sighs at your usual behavior. "Anon... this is the friend I was talking about before. Her name is Min-"

"I know, the Toothpaste Pony!" you cut her off again with unfounded pride in your voice, nodding your head with a creepy grin while reflecting on the lewd past.

You didn't watch much of the pony show back then as you were only interested in the plots and memes when it hyped, but you certainly remember her by name!

"That's kinda rude, you know?" responds the Toothpaste Pony with a slightly scrunched nose.

Oh, you remember that scrunchy face as well, hilarious! You can't help but deepen your grin, which stretches from ear to ear now.

"You're Colgate, the dentist, right?" you ask as you cover the distance in one long stride, looking down on her from above and taking in her flawless appearance.

She smells great, a bit minty. But you already expected that.

A hoof is shoved into a cute purple face with surprising force, very close to you, as so often lately. How strange.

Colgate cowers away, clearly uncomfortable, and looks up at you with a trembling smile. "You... you probably didn't hear what Twilight wanted to say, so let me introduce myself."

"Don't be afraid! He might be a bit slow up there, but Anon is mostly harmless... I think?" Twilight adds after a thoughtful pause while looking at you from the side.

You step back to give Colgate some space to breathe. "Hey! I'm not slow! This is just how I remember it all."

Irritated by Twilight's remark, you cross your arms and look at the presumed dentist a bit sourly, waiting for her introduction.

After recovering from the first impression, she stands upright on her four hooves, and with a shy look mixed with some fear, takes a deep breath before she addresses you again.

How cute.

"You are correct about me being a dentist. My practice is just around the corner. However, the name is Minuette, not sure where you heard the name Colgate from," she says with a faint smile and an outstretched front hoof. "Lovely to meet you, Anon!"

You look dumbly at her tilted little head for a moment.

"Oh..." you finally say disappointed while scratching your chin in thought. "What a shame. Colgate would have been so much better than Minuette."

There is an eerie silence between the three of you.

"Wha... What?" Minuette asks unbelievingly, eyes shimmering as a few tears accumulate from the insult directed at her.

Oh, right. Horses have feelings here.

SHIT

You try to save what can be saved with your arms up. "Wait, that's not what I wa-"

Minuette doesn't wait for your full apology and turns her head away from you and to the magic horse. "I'm sorry, Twilight! I know when I'm not welcome..." she sniffles.

You realize that you fucked up big time, as you watch a tear roll down her puffed left cheek.

"Colgate..." you whisper worriedly, making her face scrunch again as she looks back at you.

You can't help but laugh as you notice the intense wrinkles forming on her nose.

God damn it! Stop being so cute!

Not waiting for Twilight's response, she turns around and gallops away in the direction she came from.

"COLGATE, WAIT!" you yell as you try to catch up.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" Minuette hisses back in tears, making it clear she doesn't want to be followed.

You stop in your tracks and watch her turn around a corner in the distance, out of your sight.

Silence

"Wow, really?" Twilight asks after a while, slowly walking up to you from behind. "You are such a colossal jerk! How can you act like that to somepony you just met? A friend of mine I'm trying to introduce to you no less!"

Shaking your head, you answer, "Twilight, I told you, I know about this world from my past life, and I sincerely thought her name was Colgate. I didn't mean anything bad by it, I swear!"

"Your 'knowledge' about our world has been nothing but manure so far," Twilight bitches. "Would it hurt you to listen to me for once, huh?"

"Sheesh, Twilight... I'm sorry, okay?" you answer.

The purple pony shakes her head while looking at you with a disappointed frown. "No, it's not okay! Minuette is my friend and I expect you to apologize to her, genuinely!"

You don't answer immediately and so Twilight continues being disappointed in you, obviously.

Twilight looks down at the ground before her, whispering more to herself than to you, "Sometimes, I think you don't take friendship seriously at all..."

The tone of her voice makes you feel somewhat guilty. Sad ponies really are the worst.

"Ok, Twilight, I get it! I'll make it up to her, I promise!" You say with absolute confidence. "Any idea what she'd like as a gift or a way to make up for it all?"

You force a big smile as you look into her rising face, waiting for what is probably the smartest idea in pony history.

Twilight blushes slightly for some reason as she looks back at you before she says, "There might be something she'd like from you..."

Despite the disastrous meet-up taking place in Canterlot the day before, you've learned that Minuette lives in Ponyville, commuting to her dental practice every day for work.

It makes sense to you as there probably isn't much business in the small rural town and the rent is a lot cheaper here.

Earn big, spend little. Clever girl.

Twilight has already told Minuette that you, the rude green biped, would come by to personally apologize for what happened.

Not gonna lie, you feel like you are selling your body out here. For what Twilight suggested feels a bit weird.

Apparently, Minuette has some sort of hobby collecting the dental impressions of every creature in Equestria, making corresponding teeth models out of them.

Something that Twilight highly supports due to its academic value. Science horse at its best.

And well, since you are the only human known to ever have existed here... she'd be very interested in having an imprint of your teeth.

It all seems a bit odd to you. Could it be that Minuette has an ulterior motive in wanting to meet you in the first place? Is Twilight in on it?

Can these cute ponies even have ulterior motives?

Shacking the thought out of your mind, you make your way over to the inconspicuous house of hers and knock on the wooden door.

Knock Knock Knock

"Who's there?" A muffled voice is heard through the door and you suppress giving a cringe 'Yo mama' in return.

You don't want to fuck it up again.

"It's me, Anon! I'm here to apologize! And for the... eh... teeth thingy, too, I suppose."

The door opens a crack and you see the head of Minuette poke out from behind, covering the rest of her body.

You frown at the sight and wonder if you really look that threatening to the ponies here.

"Minuette," you say while going on your knees to level with her, "I'm really sorry for calling you the other name. I swear I didn't mean anything by it! Would you give me another chance?"

Minuette opens the door fully and walks up close to you, a weak smile on her tired-looking face.

"Of course, Anon," she answers. "I think I might have overreacted a bit yesterday. It just seemed that you were so disappointed. Like you expected somepony different than me."

She hangs her head and looks to the ground, averting your gaze.

Why do these ponies always go into sad mode every other sentence? Something must be wrong with your reality.

"That's not true!" you say, holding her chin up with your hands. "You are exactly the pony I want you to be!"

You give her your best genuine smile and ignore how cheesy that line just was.

Minuette looks a bit startled by your sudden touch, but then sees your smile directed at her. You are pretty sure you see some sparkles in her eyes.

"Wow... Twilight was right!" Minuette mumbles, fascinated by your splendid white teeth that stand out from the rest of your green face. "They're gorgeous!"

You continue to smile, although a bit awkward now. A single sweat drop runs down the back of your bald head.

Right... the teeth thingy.

"Please, come inside! I have everything ready," Minuette says with a noticeable mood change.

As you look around the house, a shiver runs down your spine. There are dental models of all sorts of creatures everywhere, no matter where you look.

You're also pretty sure you see a purple candle on the dining room table that looks uncomfortably familiar.

You'd have to ask about that one later.

"Here, please follow me into the kitchen and sit down on one of the chairs. It won't take long," Minuette says cheerily.

Feels like all is good between the two of you now. Clearly an advantage of the emotional ponies, as they seem to forgive everything in a heartbeat.

As you walk into the kitchen you notice the silicon-looking substance at the ready on the table. A red toothbrush and some familiar-looking toothpaste, too.

"Alright," you say as you sit down on the first chair you reach in the kitchen. "What now?"

Minuette stands in front of you on the right while hovering the red toothbrush over with her magic with a bright smile. "Now we have to clean your teeth first."

That actually makes sense to you. Likely to make sure there is no contamination in the dental cast.

"Sure thing," you say as you try to pick the toothbrush out of the air, only for Minuette to lift it higher and away from your reaching hands. "Huh?"

Minuette smiles at you with closed eyes and a tilted head as she says, "I'd prefer to do it myself if that's okay. I want to ensure they are perfectly clean for the mold."

You look at her for a while before you say, "Sorry, Minuette, but magic always makes me a bit uneasy, especially when it's that close to me."

Minuette opens her eyes slightly, giving you an unreadable expression. "I can hold it in my mouth like an earth pony if that's the problem?"

The situation and her pushing are starting to make you feel a bit uncomfortable in your chair.

"That's still a no, sorry," you say as you slide around your seat nervously.

"Anon... I'm a professional and I want a clean result, please!" Minuette says as she also picks up the toothpaste with her magic from the table.

Bullshit, you think. There is more to it than that. That mare definitely has a weird kink or something.

"NO! I'll do it myself, take it or leave it!" you say with determination. "I am sorry, but there are boundaries."

Minuette looks at you with a sad expression, sighing. "Sorry, Anon. But this is for the best, I'll make it up to you, I swear!"

"Huh, what? I said no!"

Minuette's horn flashes brightly, causing you to squint in response.

As you open your eyes again, you realize with panic that you can neither move nor speak. And something magical has manifested in the air behind Minuette.

A golden hourglass. The same as her cutie mark.

"Two minutes, Anon," Minuette says as she hovers the toothbrush over to your face. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle, I promise!"

The hourglass turns and the sand starts falling.

You can't answer, but you're sweating profusely now. You are completely at her mercy. Who would have thought a pony could do that?

"Now say aahhh," Minuette commands, while using her own magic to open your mouth to bring in the toothbrush with the ironically white and blue toothpaste on it.

Minuette comes closer to you while she brushes your teeth. But she's having trouble getting a good look at the result since you're quite tall, even while seated.

So she stands on her hind legs and puts her front hooves on your knees to get a better close-up view.

"I hope you don't mind, Anon," Minuette apologizes as she looks deep into your throat. "Your teeth are amazing... And would you look at those canines!"

You can feel the radiant warmth emanating from her and the smell of her fresh breath touching your face.

It's probably for the best that you're stunned by this strange spell. You would probably kiss her involuntarily right now if you could.

Brushie Brush Brush

Somehow, you can't help but get aroused by the situation. Are you really that deranged?

Yes. It was a hypothetical question.

Unfortunately, the spell also seems preventing your little Anon from rising properly... and it's starting to hurt.

Like a lot.

Your pupils start to get smaller, your sweat gets heavier and you start shaking uncontrollably.

You fucking hate magic.

"Anon?" Minuette asks worriedly as she stops brushing your teeth after noticing your shaking. "What's happening? Is it really that bad?"

Maybe she's not as smart as you thought because you're still unable to answer and just give her a judgmental look.

In realization, Minuette frees you from the spell immediately, despite the hourglass showing that only half of the time has passed.

The moment you are freed you yell, "WHAT THE FUCK?! I can't believe you've done this!" Splashes of toothpaste land on Minuette's face

Startled by your screaming, Minuette loses her footing on your knees and falls with her chin on the prominent tent in your pants.

Ouch

Minuette quickly backs away with a guilty look on her face as she says, "Sorry, Anon, I didn't thin-"

She stops as she sees you bulge over your impressive boner in pain.

"Ohh, that's why..." Minuette says while blushing. "You really like toothbrushing, don't you? I mean, I get it..."

"NO! It's because of you, dumbass!" you mumble in pain, mouth still full of toothpaste.

Silence

"Be... Because of me?" Minuette genuinely asks as she looks up at you, ignoring the insult thrown at her.

You blush hard. "Well, I can't help it, you're just too cute, even when doing evil shit like that just now! It's not like I'm an odontophilliac, or anything."

"I'm surprised you know what that is," Minuette notes.

You are too! Why do you know what that is again? Nevermind.

You hang your head and look at the ground as you say, "I'm sorry, Minuette, but I think it might be better if I leave now."

Just as you try to stand up from the chair, Minuette jumps back on your knees with her front hooves again, looking you deep into the eyes with her beautiful gaze.

"Not so fast, Anon!" she says as she licks some of the toothpaste off your lips. "I still need that imprint and we haven't washed your mouth yet!"

Frozen, you look back at her. Did she just lick your lips?

"I..." you mumble, drooling a bit of the toothpaste. "Are you sure about this?"

Minuette nods with a heavy blush, "Brushing your teeth made me... you know. And I think you're cute, too. All green and stuff, it's different!"

You do know, as you notice the minty smell in the air. She must be wet as a horse by now.

Unable to hold back any longer, you start stroking her sides furiously.

Ahh, you wanted to do that so badly.

"Eeep," eeeps Minuette at the touching, before coming in strong and kissing you sideways.

You can feel the toothpaste and salvia in your mouth stir as her tongue wrestles yours over dominance.

You notice her caressing every single tooth separately with her loving tongue, giving a nice massage to the gums as well. A professional, no doubt.

It doesn't take long before your mouth is freed from all the minty toothpaste and you give her a sparkling clean smile as a form of gratitude.

Minuette gargles the taken and now liquefied toothpaste residue in front of you loudly before she swallows it down slowly, giving you a lewd look after the deed.

Holy shit, what a mare, you think as you watch her performance with an open mouth.

"Okay, let's get that imprint out of the way," Minuette says as she lifts the green silicon-looking stuff with her magic from the table, forming it into a ball in the air.

You try to ask, "What do I need t-"

Minuette suddenly puts some of her weight on your crotch, pressing your balls on the chair through the fabric with her right front hoove, making you gasp wide open.

What's wrong with that pony?

Shove Shove Shove

Your mouth is now full of that stuff and you bite hard in response, "Mhmhm."

"Very good, that's perfect!" Minuette exclaims as she frees you from it again and looks at the bite marks. "This will make an amazing dental model, thank you so much, Anon!"

"No... no problem," you say, as you still ring for air, massaging your balls through your pants. "So, are we done, or...?"

Minuette looks over to the table. "You know, I still have a lot of it left... Would you mind going for another one?"

You sigh as you answer, "I mean, sure, but only cause you're such a cute kinky pony. Don't freeze me this time though, you hear me?"

She gives you a lewd smirk as she steps down from your knees, "I'm not planning to."

You feel your pants and underpants being magically pulled down to the floor.

Oh. That kind of imprint... you realize as you watch your member touch her lovely snout.

She gives the tip a nice wet lick, and a playful bite, too.

"Aaah," you moan. "Careful!"

"Well, as you already know, we need to clean it first!" she says as she splurts some toothpaste on your penis, giggling madly while doing so.

You're not sure you want that, but you let her do it anyways. It's hard to say no at this point.

She doesn't waste any time and takes it in whole, toothpaste being pressed out of her mouth and nose to make space as your tip hits the back of her throat.

It feels amazing, the toothpaste giving it a whole new sensation as it encases your member tightly inside her mouth.

The burning you feel? It is shame!

You hold the back of her head as she starts with a rhythm to clean your cock. Her tongue soon doing its magic, licking all the toothpaste off it.

As you come close, you start tapping your foot on the floor multiple times. Like you're some wacky green cartoon character in a suit or something.

Minuette notices and pulls back, "Nah, ah ah! Don't you dare cum yet! I want no imprint of spunk on the cast afterward."

You feel some weird magic grabbing your privates, holding it all back.

"Aww, come on, what's this shit now?!" you whine as she brings over another bulk of the silicon to encase your member. "Hurry up, mare!"

You hold the seat of the chair with your hands tight, as you feel the desperate need to cum into the cold mass that makes your cock tingle so much.

Thankfully, it doesn't take too long.

"Done! I'll make sure to give Twilight a print as well" she says, lifting the dick-imprinted material off you, as she notices your questioning look on her. "For science, of course!"

"Sure..." you mumble. "Can I cum now, please?"

Without further ado, she's back on you with her mouth and releases your balls from her magic. "Now gimme that extra creamy mouthwash of yours!"

You sigh, embarrassed by it all as you grab her head and press her hard into your crotch to give her what she asks for. The cum mixes with the leftover toothpaste in her mouth.

As it is a tradition by now, she swallows it all while you're still pumping it into her with force.

"Oh fuck," you exclaim. "You're the best!"

"Mmbmphp!" she answers.

You pull her off your dick by the mane, sprouting some leftover juices on her face between her eyes, making her flinch.

"Hey!"

"Sorry..."

Headshot

"I have to say, that was quite fun, Anon!" Minuette says as she smiles at you while trying to get the cum off her fur, with little success, only smearing it further.

"Oh, we're not done yet, my dear Colgate," you clarify. "Just give me a "Minuette" or two."

You smirk at her.

She only deadpans at you. "That's not funny, Anon..."

"Sorry," you apologize, losing the smirk. "But seriously, I can go again, I'm not a horse."

Without waiting for an answer, you stand up from the chair and grab her by the barrel, lifting her onto the chair herself.

"What are you..?" Minuette tries to protest as you make her stand on the seat with her back hooves and her front hooves placed over the top rail of the chair.

The back of her head is now level with yours and you slowly caress her neck with your lips as you hold her tight from behind.

"Ohhh, that's nice!" she exclaims, almost purring at your soft nibbles as she gives in, falling back with her weight into you.

You bite her slightly, leaving a little imprint of your teeth on her fur.

"OHHH, that's even better!" she exclaims, giving out a small moan.

You knew she'd like that for some unknown reason.

Holding her tight around the hips you position your member to enter her folds.

It goes right in with almost no resistance whatsoever.

You fuck her pussy a bit from behind, but it gets old pretty fast you think. Almost a bit boring.

There's not much of a reaction from Minuette either, as she just stares straight ahead while you pump your thrusts into her.

You decide to mint things up a bit.

"I think it's time for some cleaning,"you say as you take the half-empty toothpaste from the table.

"Clean what?" Minuette asks, looking back over her shoulder at you, eyes going wide as she notices where the toothpaste is going."

"No, Anon! I poop from there!"

"Not today you don't!" you exclaim as you shove the tube into her tight ponut, emptying the rest of the tube into her.

"AAAaahhh, that's... that's awesome!" Minuette moans.

You pull your dick out of her puss with a satisfying popping noise and switch over to the backdoor of the dental practice.

Slightly probing her entrance with the tip of your dick you smear some of the toothpaste around her ass cheeks, before bringing some distance between the two of you.

With a nice swing of your back, you overcome the tight muscles with your tip and feel a surge of sensations flowing along the full length of your shaft.

That's the stuff.

"YES!" Minuette yells, making the tableware on the kitchen counter shake. "HARDER! FASTER!"

You comply and rut the lewd dentist pony as hard and fast as you possibly can.

"CALL ME WHAT I AM!" Minuette yells.

"A whorse?" you ask unsurely.

"What? No!" Minuette answers a bit annoyed, looking over her shoulder. "The other name you called me, asshole."

"Ohh!" you say enlightened while still fucking her into her little pony ass. "Colgate! COLGATE!"

You fuck her ass deep in rhythm as you call her that.

Colgate Colgate Colgate

"YEES, so dirty!" Minuette's eyes lose focus as she turns her head forward and almost loses her balance, but you hold her firmly in the chair, not only with your hands.

It doesn't take long before you empty yourself into her secret brown, mixing a nice batter of cum and blue-white toothpaste.

To help her out, you bring your left hand down and start fingering her marehood viciously while still filling her colon with your own paste. She climaxes almost immediately.

"AAAAHHHHH, GOD, ANON!"

You lift Minuette off the chair and hold her back tight onto your chest, doing a little shake as you pump in every little bit you have left to offer.

At this point, she's just pudding in your arms. A pudding leaking some unholy juices out of her ass onto the marble tile floor.

It looks a bit like modern art. Too bad you don't have a camera with you.

As you two stand there in the kitchen together, your cock still deep in her ass as you're pressing her back into your chest, Minuette looks up at you lovingly and asks, "Would you like to make a follow-up appointment?"

You just nod, as you slowly pull your dick out, giving way for the homemade Minuette toothpaste. "Monday to Sunday works for me."

"Would you mind if I introduced you to an assistant of mine?" Minuette asks, giving you a loving glance. I think she'd be very interested in meeting you!"

"Sure... what's her name?" you ask warily, as you have a bad premonition.

"Lyra Heartstrings."

Sweat Sweat Sweat

Author's Note

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQv_pRJYFY4
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dental_impression
https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a37974716/teeth-fetish-odontophilia/