A Pirate’s Life for Spike

‘On the clearest of nights, when the winds of the Southeastern and Northwestern oceans were calm and peaceful…’

‘…the great merchant ships with their cargo hold of priceless metals and rare crystal gems felt safe and secure.’

A gray impenetrable wall of fog surrounded the entire ocean.

Suddenly, a massive ship emerged from the fog, the Winged Victory maidenhead looming. It was a Canterlot Royal Navy dreadnought, the H.M.S. Dauntless. Formidable, but frightening, with twenty-five gun ports on the side, and rail guns to boot.

A little girl with streaked hair of pale gold, rose pink and purple, and wearing a pink dress, white stockings and dark pink dress shoes, was singing while viewing the ocean. Her name was Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, or Cadance for short.

Suddenly, Jiffy Spice, who was born old, skin a wearing a dark leather vest underneath his sailor suit, clutched her shoulder, startling her.

“Shh! Quiet, missy! Cursed pirates sail these waters. You want to call ‘em down on us?” he asked, as Cadance stared wide-eyed at him.

Suddenly, a sailor wearing a dark grey shirt underneath a dark brown and black leather jacket, grayish blue pants, and tan boots. His name was Humdrum Bill Hawkins.

“Hey, take it easy,” he said, before leaning towards Cadance. “He’s got a point you know.”

“Mr. Spice. Mr. Hawkins.” a voice called.

Appearing towards them both was Lieutenant Hoofington, glaring sternly at Jiffy and Hawkins. Standing beside him was Governor Mi Amore, along with his wife, Baroness Mi Amore. The governor wore a thick light blue suit with brass buttons and the baroness wore a light plum purple dress. They were Cadance’s parents.

“That’ll do,” he said.

“She was singing out loud,” Jiffy said.

“I was only singing about what my dreams might take me, if I listen to what my heart wishes,” Cadance explained.

“Bad luck to sing out loud, not when there’re pirates about, and with us mired in this unnatural fog -- mark my words,” Jiffy said.

“Consider them marked. On your way, gentlemen,” the lieutenant said.

“Aye, Lieutenant,” Jiffy said, as he moved off. “Bad luck to have a woman on board, too. Even a miniature one. Best keep your eyes on her.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just leave the pirates to the experts and you’ll be fine,” Hawkins said.

He then returned to his deck-swabbing duties, surreptitiously taking a quick swig from a flask while Humdrum Bill went back to helping the rest of the crew restrain the cannons tightly with ropes.

“I think it would be rather exciting to meet a pirate,” Cadance said.

“Think again, Miss Cadenza,” Hoofington said. “Vile and dissolute creatures, the lot of them. I intend to see to it that any man who sails under a pirate flag, or wears a pirate brand, gets what he deserves: a short drop and a sudden stop.”

Cadance didn’t know what a ‘short drop and a sudden stop’ meant, until Jiffy Spice helpfully mimed: a man being hung to death.

“Lieutenant Hoofington... I appreciate your fervor, but I am concerned about the effect this subject will have on my daughter,” the governor said.

“My apologies, Governor,” he said.

“Actually, I find it all fascinating,” Cadance said.

And that’s what concerns me and your mother,” the governor said. “Cadance, we will be landing in Canterlot soon, and beginning our new lives. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we comport ourselves as befits our class and station?”

“Yes, father,” Cadance said, as her mother placed her hand on her daughter’s shoulder, comforting her, knowing that everything will be fine.

Chastised, she turned away, to look out over the bow rail.

The fog still hemmed in the ship; except very little of the sea is visible, but suddenly, the sea was no longer empty. Wreckage from another ship littered the water along with the bodies of its crew. What was left of the ship’s hull burned, as a ragged royal flag hung limply from the stern. The H.M.S. Dauntless slipped silently through it all.

’However, little did they suspect, that they were pursued by…’

Out over the sea, moving through the fog, silent as a ghost, was a large menacing-looking ship, and it had red sails.

The ship is obscured by the fog as it passed by, but not the mizzen-top, and there hung the frightening skull and crossbones of the Jolly Roger on the ship’s top flag.

‘…pirates.’

“Sir!” a sailor said, as the governor, his wife, the lieutenant, Hawkins and Jiffy looked at the ship heading towards them.

“Pirates! It’s an ambush! Arm yourselves!” the lieutenant hollered.

There they saw a man with red skin, a white beard, black eyes with yellow pupils, two small horns, a ring in his nose, and he wore a black jacket with a grayish tan scarf, a gray belt around his waist, and black pants and black boots. ‘And the most feared of all these pirates was the notorious Captain Tirek.’

“FIRE!” he shouted, as the cannons started shootings at the H.M.S. Dauntless, scaring Cadance, who was standing towards her mother for protection.

“Fire the cannons! Get to your weapons! Move! Move! Move!” the lieutenant ordered, as more soldiers fired their guns at the pirates, who fired back.

‘Like a ravenous panther overtaking its prey, Tirek and his band of scoundrels and renegades swooped in out of nowhere and stormed the ship.’

As more pirates landed on the ship, a few soldiers drew their swords out and proceeded with combative attacks since guns wouldn’t be enough. Jiffy however helped Hawkins put Cadance in the cabin for protection.

Meanwhile, after a big battle, the pirates went to the cargo hold, and opened every chest, until they saw the treasure spilling from the chests. Captain Tirek laughed evilly as he held two handfuls of treasures in his hands.

’And then, after gathering up all of their spoils, vanished without a trace.’

As Cadance came out, she saw that both her parents were murdered, until Jiffy came and comforted the princess.

The ship then sailed throughout the fog, before it revealed a foggy view of what appeared to be some sort of tropical island surrounded by sandy beaches and huge sharp pointy rocks.

‘Captain Tirek’s secret trove was never found, but many stories have persisted that it remains hidden, somewhere at the farthest reaches of the world, buried in a cave stowed with riches beyond imagination.’