A Pirate’s Life for Spike

by GoebelTron

Rating: mature
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Other, Equestria Girls, Sex, Sunset Shimmer, Random, Adventure, Violence, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Anthro
Length: 3053

After finding a map leading to some long lost treasure buried years ago, Spike must join Captain Twilight Sparkle and her crew for this journey to find the treasure, but beware of whatever danger lies ahead.

Young 13 year old Spike is given a map by a mysterious sailor, which leads to the long lost coveted treasure buried by the legendary and notorious Captain Tirek. Along with his two best friends, Pipsqueak and Rumble, he must prepare himself for the voyage he’ll ever experience as this epic treasure hunt, but beware of whatever dangers that lie ahead await them, with the help of Captain Twilight Sparkle and her crew, along with some new friends they might make or new enemies they might face along the way.

Special thanks to Skywalker215 for suggesting this idea for me.

This is inspired by the comic Rogue Diamond and also the movies Muppet Treasure Island and Treasure Planet, but a tie-in with Pirates of the Caribbean.

Published 2022-10-21 17:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-02-06 23:48:41 UTC

Prologue - The Legend of Tirek’s Treasure

‘On the clearest of nights, when the winds of the Southeastern and Northwestern oceans were calm and peaceful…’

‘…the great merchant ships with their cargo hold of priceless metals and rare crystal gems felt safe and secure.’

A gray impenetrable wall of fog surrounded the entire ocean.

Suddenly, a massive ship emerged from the fog, the Winged Victory maidenhead looming. It was a Canterlot Royal Navy dreadnought, the H.M.S. Dauntless. Formidable, but frightening, with twenty-five gun ports on the side, and rail guns to boot.

A little girl with streaked hair of pale gold, rose pink and purple, and wearing a pink dress, white stockings and dark pink dress shoes, was singing while viewing the ocean. Her name was Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, or Cadance for short.

Suddenly, Jiffy Spice, who was born old, skin a wearing a dark leather vest underneath his sailor suit, clutched her shoulder, startling her.

“Shh! Quiet, missy! Cursed pirates sail these waters. You want to call ‘em down on us?” he asked, as Cadance stared wide-eyed at him.

Suddenly, a sailor wearing a dark grey shirt underneath a dark brown and black leather jacket, grayish blue pants, and tan boots. His name was Humdrum Bill Hawkins.

“Hey, take it easy,” he said, before leaning towards Cadance. “He’s got a point you know.”

“Mr. Spice. Mr. Hawkins.” a voice called.

Appearing towards them both was Lieutenant Hoofington, glaring sternly at Jiffy and Hawkins. Standing beside him was Governor Mi Amore, along with his wife, Baroness Mi Amore. The governor wore a thick light blue suit with brass buttons and the baroness wore a light plum purple dress. They were Cadance’s parents.

“That’ll do,” he said.

“She was singing out loud,” Jiffy said.

“I was only singing about what my dreams might take me, if I listen to what my heart wishes,” Cadance explained.

“Bad luck to sing out loud, not when there’re pirates about, and with us mired in this unnatural fog -- mark my words,” Jiffy said.

“Consider them marked. On your way, gentlemen,” the lieutenant said.

“Aye, Lieutenant,” Jiffy said, as he moved off. “Bad luck to have a woman on board, too. Even a miniature one. Best keep your eyes on her.”

“Don’t worry about it. Just leave the pirates to the experts and you’ll be fine,” Hawkins said.

He then returned to his deck-swabbing duties, surreptitiously taking a quick swig from a flask while Humdrum Bill went back to helping the rest of the crew restrain the cannons tightly with ropes.

“I think it would be rather exciting to meet a pirate,” Cadance said.

“Think again, Miss Cadenza,” Hoofington said. “Vile and dissolute creatures, the lot of them. I intend to see to it that any man who sails under a pirate flag, or wears a pirate brand, gets what he deserves: a short drop and a sudden stop.”

Cadance didn’t know what a ‘short drop and a sudden stop’ meant, until Jiffy Spice helpfully mimed: a man being hung to death.

“Lieutenant Hoofington... I appreciate your fervor, but I am concerned about the effect this subject will have on my daughter,” the governor said.

“My apologies, Governor,” he said.

“Actually, I find it all fascinating,” Cadance said.

And that’s what concerns me and your mother,” the governor said. “Cadance, we will be landing in Canterlot soon, and beginning our new lives. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we comport ourselves as befits our class and station?”

“Yes, father,” Cadance said, as her mother placed her hand on her daughter’s shoulder, comforting her, knowing that everything will be fine.

Chastised, she turned away, to look out over the bow rail.

The fog still hemmed in the ship; except very little of the sea is visible, but suddenly, the sea was no longer empty. Wreckage from another ship littered the water along with the bodies of its crew. What was left of the ship’s hull burned, as a ragged royal flag hung limply from the stern. The H.M.S. Dauntless slipped silently through it all.

’However, little did they suspect, that they were pursued by…’

Out over the sea, moving through the fog, silent as a ghost, was a large menacing-looking ship, and it had red sails.

The ship is obscured by the fog as it passed by, but not the mizzen-top, and there hung the frightening skull and crossbones of the Jolly Roger on the ship’s top flag.

‘…pirates.’

“Sir!” a sailor said, as the governor, his wife, the lieutenant, Hawkins and Jiffy looked at the ship heading towards them.

“Pirates! It’s an ambush! Arm yourselves!” the lieutenant hollered.

There they saw a man with red skin, a white beard, black eyes with yellow pupils, two small horns, a ring in his nose, and he wore a black jacket with a grayish tan scarf, a gray belt around his waist, and black pants and black boots. ‘And the most feared of all these pirates was the notorious Captain Tirek.’

“FIRE!” he shouted, as the cannons started shootings at the H.M.S. Dauntless, scaring Cadance, who was standing towards her mother for protection.

“Fire the cannons! Get to your weapons! Move! Move! Move!” the lieutenant ordered, as more soldiers fired their guns at the pirates, who fired back.

‘Like a ravenous panther overtaking its prey, Tirek and his band of scoundrels and renegades swooped in out of nowhere and stormed the ship.’

As more pirates landed on the ship, a few soldiers drew their swords out and proceeded with combative attacks since guns wouldn’t be enough. Jiffy however helped Hawkins put Cadance in the cabin for protection.

Meanwhile, after a big battle, the pirates went to the cargo hold, and opened every chest, until they saw the treasure spilling from the chests. Captain Tirek laughed evilly as he held two handfuls of treasures in his hands.

’And then, after gathering up all of their spoils, vanished without a trace.’

As Cadance came out, she saw that both her parents were murdered, until Jiffy came and comforted the princess.

The ship then sailed throughout the fog, before it revealed a foggy view of what appeared to be some sort of tropical island surrounded by sandy beaches and huge sharp pointy rocks.

‘Captain Tirek’s secret trove was never found, but many stories have persisted that it remains hidden, somewhere at the farthest reaches of the world, buried in a cave stowed with riches beyond imagination.’

Chapter 1 - A Hard Life at the Benbow Tavern

Some of the waves of the ocean roared as they slammed (or splashed) into the rocky cliffside near a sandy beach and the docks, like a giant monstrous beast crashing into the walls of its cage in Tartarus. Atop the cliff sat the small town of Maretime Bay, and near Seaward Shoals and the Kingdom of Canterlot, which was a welcoming sight to any traveler, wherever where they came from. But besides that, a building stood a couple of hundred yards away from the seaport near the cliff edge. Its brick and wooden walls were worn down by years of weather, stood strong and stubborn. The comforting smell of the fresh air from outside, along with wood, smoke and good food filled in the air wafting from the inn. Bright lights were lit from the windows along with loud cheers and various laughs. A single sign swung above the door with words describing its name to welcome the travelers: The Benbow Tavern.

Inside the tavern, it was a madhouse that evening. Many men were clustered around all the tables, conversing, eating their food and drinking their beverages consisting cider, beer, water and rum, while one of the travelers told a tale about a legendary treasure buried by a certain pirate he knew.

“I was Tirek’s first mate that voyage. Three days east o’ the coast of Tortuga in the Southeastern Sea. Tirek knew o’ an island, and that’s where he buried the treasure. A lone island, it was, and clearly cursed which is why Tirek chose it. Bits and blood they were Tirek’s trademarks. He leave both behind them that day. He took only a handful of us to the island, secrecy and the likelihood of it. They braved perils of the jungle, crossing hither and yon to find a suitable spot to bury all the treasure. It ne’er took too long afore they found a place, but Tirek, he couldn’t leave the others with knowledge of the location of the treasure. It’s like the sayin’ goes, ya see. Dead Men tell No Tales. Oh aye, fifteen men went ashore that day and only Tirek, his own self, returned. Aye, then old Tirek, up and died afore he could get back to the accursed island, and dig up the treasure himself,” Billy Bones said to the patrons.

Brown wild wavy hair fell to his shoulders and an unkempt beard covered his chin. He wore a long black canvas Jack and had a cutlass strapped and belted on his left hip. His ice-blue eyes shone with cunning and intelligence.

“Now isn’t that a story worth a’ hearin’?” he asked, the patrons repeating in unison.

“It was the first dozen times we heard it,” a patron muttered.

“I’ll drink to that!” another slurred, perpetually drunk, causing the crowd to laugh.

“But who has the map now, eh? Some black hearted, squid sucking buccaneer? Or maybe it’s our very own Spike Hawkins?! Eh, Spiky?” Billy called. Spike Hawkins, a 13 year old boy with green hair and wore a black jacket over a grayish green shirt and had a gray hood between them, bluish gray pants, and green multicolored sneakers, smiled as he wiped down a few tankards. His five pals, Rumble, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Pipsqueak helped him deliver the food and drinks that were recently ordered and picking up a few dirty dishes to wash.

“Well, if my friends and I had it, we wouldn’t be here serving you rum, Mr Bones,” Spike said as he set the mug of rum on Mr. Bones table.

“Spike’s right. We’d be out searching for that treasure,” Scootaloo said. She had pink spiked hair, magenta eyes, and wore a gray hoodie and matching boots with cyan cuffs and edges, and green cargo shorts.

“Yeah! Sailing the seven years on a five-year mission, boldly going where no one has gone before!” Pipsqueak proclamation loudly. He had brown hair and hazel eyes, and wore a blue vest over a white and tan plaid shirt, a green ascot, dark brown pants, and brown boots.

“It’d be amazing for an adventurous voyage!” Sweetie Belle said, imagining herself on that voyage, dreaming while hugging her broom and raising her leg up. She had pink and lilac purple striped curly hair held with a pink hairband, green eyes, and wore a pink and white striped shirt, a yellow skirt, a blood red belt around her waist, and a pink jacket with brass buttons and two pockets, along with matching boots with yellow straps and grayish purple socks peeking from underneath her boots.

“I’d do the same thing if I had that treasure map as well!” Apple Bloom said. She had red hair with a pinkish red bow, orange eyes, and wore a green blouse, blue pants with a brown leather belt and yellowish orange boots.

“Heh, not me. If I had that treasure map, I’d be trading it for any amount, like gems or actual money,” Rumble said. He had charcoal gray swept back hair, grayish purple eyes, and wore a dark gray vest over a light gray long sleeve shirt, a blue plaid ascot, brown pants, and black shoes.

Scootaloo then approached towards a discarded plate of food near Billy Bones and smiled.

“Hey, Apple Bloom? You think he’s gonna eat this?” she asked, reaching for the food. Billy Bones knocked back the entire mug of rum he was given. Spike could tell he was getting tipsy and Billy being tipsy meant loud outbursts while drunk or hungover.

“Aye! Beware the cyborg! He’s the one to fear!” he yelled, flailing his arms wildly.

“Don’t worry, Captain Bones. We’ll watch out for him,” he said quickly, not wanting to get Mr. Bones angry, but Rumble has to open his big mouth.

“Yeah, we’ll watch for him, if he’s delivering a pizza,” he and Scootaloo laughed. In a blur, Billy Bones grabbed Rumble and shoved him headfirst into a barrel next to the fireplace.

“Even old Tirek feared him! If he comes poking round here, you come running for me! Better be quick!”

“Don’t worry. If we see him, we’ll tell you,” Spike said. Until it was Scootaloo’s turn to learn her lesson.

“Yeah, a cyborg, one leg, two heads, a couple dozens of noses, anything weird w…” Billy Bones reached over the table, grabbing Scootaloo by the shirt and dragging her into his face.

“This ain’t no joking matter, little lassie!” he said, his voice dangerously low. “The cyborg brings death!” He then released Scootaloo as she now felt terrified. Luckily for the kids, the owner of the tavern, Cherry Jubilee, walked out on time. She was a thick woman with a brown and blood red tavern maid dress with a pale yellow top and white sleeves and edges on her skirt, and had white garter pants and white frilly socks and black shoes, and a white maid hat over her multiple streaked moderate crimson red curly hair tied in a bun.

“Alright, gentlemen! It’s closing time! Finish your meals and if you don’t have a room, I must ask you to please leave,” she said as a few patrons left the room. Her green eyes suddenly swept the room, as she wasn’t pleased with what she saw. Spike, Rumble, Pipsqueak and the girls saw her change her mood and double-timed it with their cleaning.

“Children, look at the state of this place, why do you let it become such a pigsty in here?” she yelled at them. Billy just laughed as he stood, wobbling slightly. He tossed a few coins on the table to pay for the drinks he ordered. Grabbing the last mug, he downed it.

“Here’s to you, kids! I’m away to my room!” he said, and stumbled out of the dining room. Cherry was at the door giving her farewells to her customers.

“Thank you for coming. Don’t forget to come back tomorrow for our lunchtime special, Roast chicken with roast potatoes.” The last of the guest's left and Cherry Jubilee shut the door with a heavy sigh.

“Alright children, when you’re finished in here, go clean in the kitchen. I left some table scraps in there for supper,” she said, snuffing out the candle. “Oh, and children, one more thing. LAST NIGHT YOU FORGOT TO PUT OUT THE LANTERN! FORGET AGAIN, THERE’LL BE NO TABLE SCRAPS FOR A WEEK!!”

Outstanding the Benbow Tavern…

The kids were standing near the lantern holding a ladder still so that Spike could carefully help Pip put out the lantern, who was sitting on his shoulders.

“I hate my life,” Spike said.

“I hate your life too,” Rumble said.

“Don’t me wrong. This stinks,” Scootaloo said.

“Ya said it,” Apple Bloom said.

“Mmhmm,” Sweetie Belle said. “If I had a life, I’d hate it too.”

“The feeling’s mutual,” Pipsqueak said, as he leaned closer against the lantern, and after a bit more effort, the lantern was put out.

They all brushed themselves off and looked out at the horizon. The waves licked at the shore, as the moon shone down.

“You know something, guys? I’ve been thinking. Ever since Mom died of a broken heart after my Dad left, I should run off to sea like he did,” Spike said, as he felt the wind’s prescience appear towards him. “I was a lot younger when I learned he used to sail on the H.M.S. Dauntless to Canterlot as a cabin boy for the first time when he was my age, but the very last time I ever saw him was when he became a commodore, or first mate to boot.”

“Wait, really?! As in just run off to sea and just leave everyone behind?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Whose everyone? I mean you guys could probably come along too. I mean I’m an orphan. I’ve got no family,” Spike’s eyes saddened slightly as the words left his lips.

“Hey, don’t worry, Spike,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Yeah, y’all got us,” Apple Bloom said. “And we’ve got our families too. I mean me and Sweetie Belle got our sisters, except I’ve got a big brother and my Granny Smith.”

“And I’ve got my parents,” Sweetie Belle said.

“So do I,” Scootaloo said.

“So basically, we’re almost like a family. A family of friendship,” Apple Bloom said.

“Thanks, guys,” Spike said. “But I sometimes wish my life was more like one of Captain Bones’ adventures. Sailing through the high seas and searching for buried treasure!” He hopped onto the rock and struck a pose pointing out to sea, as his friends knew how excited he looked.

“Yeah, discovering lost Islands and weird civilizations,” Scootaloo said. Spike smiled at him and pulled something out of his pocket.

“We’ll be navigating my dad’s old compass to where ever the wind may take us!” Spike smiled excitedly at his friends.

Pipsqueak and Sweetie Belle made a pose, pretending that they were holding swords in their hands.

“Yeah! Off to Zanzibar, to meet the Zanzabarbarians!” Pipsqueak proclaimed, hopping up and down.

“Oh boy, here they go again,” Rumble sighed, but couldn’t keep a smirk from appearing on his face.

“To the southwest, pirate galleons!” Spike proclaimed, pointing in that direction.

“To the southeast, multi-armed Neighponian shark women and their exploding waves of death!” Scootaloo shouted. Spike and the others just gave him deadpanned looks till their ears were assaulted by a loud voice.

“TO THE NORTHWEST, DIRTY DISHES!!” Cherry Jubilee’s voice boomed and made the boys and girls flinch. Scootaloo just looked at the tavern in amazement.

“Okay, how does she do that?” she asked to no one in particular. Spike just sighed.

“It’s my turn this week, I’ll wash,” He put the compass away and turned to the inn.

“I’ll dry,” Sweetie Belle said as the six children went inside.