Thilkers Tale

by reedman

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fetish, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 3925

Twilight learns about John Doe's weekend job.

Twilight is concerned about her human friend John Doe. He's been associating with thilkers. Surely, he has to know that The Human Lickers Club is dangerous?

Contains: Ponies licking sweat off of humans

Published 2022-10-16 20:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-10-16 20:20:00 UTC

An interesting day

Sweat poured down John’s face and shirtless body. His workout at the gym was its usual intensity. Staying in shape was one of his goals, but not the main one. He wiped the sweat off his forehead. He stood up, and made his way to back of the gym towards the locker rooms. A green unicorn stood by the doors.

“Hey Muscle!” he said to the stallion.

“Hey John.” the green unicorn said. “Lettin’ yourself sweat for free I see.”

“Oh I wouldn’t say free.” he chuckled as the unicorn followed him into the locker rooms. “The gym owner likes a free thilk session in exchange for gym memberships. With this gym being the only one in Ponyville that has equipment for humans alongside ponies. He gets a lot of free thilking.”

John sat down on bench across his locker. He sat sideways, and Muscle got on the bench as well. Sat right behind him. He felt a warm, wet tongue on his lower back. It slowly slid up to his shoulder blades. An open-mouthed moan came from the stallion as the licks repeated.

“Sounds like a happy pony.” Muscle said between licks. “With all the humans coming here, he probably thilks every day.”

“With free thilking being an unofficial perk of membership, he never worries about a lack of paying memberships from ponies either.” John commented as he turned around for Muscle to continue on the front.

The two sat in silence for a moment. The only sound being a tongue, dragging across human skin. After a minute or so, the pony sat back. Sighing with content. The human stood up, and opened his locker.

“Starting this gym was the best idea ever.” the stallion said.

“I agree.” John said as he wiped himself down with a towel. “Wish I could stay longer, but I gotta get some lunch in me. See you later!”

“Bye John!” Muscle said.

The young man strolled out of the locker room as he put his shirt on. He glanced around the gym. A mix of ponies and humans working out. Some of the ponies were licking the sweat off humans, similar to what Muscle was just doing. He smiled to himself as he walked out into the Ponyville sunshine. Some fish sounded really good. There was a place that sold fish wraps for cheap not far from his house.

***

“Where is he?” Twilight asked herself. “He’s usually back from the gym by now.”

As if on cue, the human came walking up. He had a wrap of some kind in his hands. It seemed he had stopped to eat. He smiled and waved after his meal was polished off.

“Hey princess!” he said.

“Please.” she said. “You know you can just call me Twilight.”

“Right. Sorry.” he said. “Anyways, what’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something.” she said. “Can we talk inside?”

“Sure.” John said as he opened the door.

The two went inside. The human houses in eastern Ponyville were fairly plain. A living room, a kitchen with a table, then a bedroom and bathroom. They didn’t seem to mind.

“How can I help the Princess of Friendship today?” he asked as they both sat down on the couch.

“It’s about a package that came to my castle.” she answered as she levitated a bottle of yellow liquid out of her saddlebag. “It was addressed to you, but I opened it before looking at the name first.”

“I totally forgot to change my address when I ordered it.” he groaned. “My bad.”

“John, this is a urine suppressor for maximizing sweat output.” she said. “Are you hanging out with...thilkers?”

The human rolled his eyes. Twilight was clearly not the first pony to bring up the subject with him. Members of The Human Lickers Club(also referred to as ‘thilkers’) were known for making and selling this potion to humans. The act of licking humans, or thilking, wasn’t illegal. Though thilkers didn’t have the best reputation. Human sweat seemed to have some type of intoxication effect on ponies. Past studies had shown that the intoxication was similar to your average pony getting salt drunk. Though the much more intimate process quickly gained a negative connotation.

“Twilight, this isn’t a big deal.” John said as he grabbed the potion out of the air. “You’ve seen too many of those anti-thilking posters.”

“Thilking addicts are a real problem John.” she retorted. “I don’t want you getting abducted, and forced into sweat slavery.”

“Sweat slavery isn’t real Twilight.” he said as he rolled his eyes again. “The worst humans have to deal with, is the occasional pony licking without asking first.”

“It doesn’t help that you work out at that gym owned by a thilker.” she said.

“Hey!” John said, a bit angry. “Muscle’s a great guy. A weekly thilking session for free membership is worth it.”

“I just...” she began. “I just want my friend to be safe.”

The silence hung in the air. John was taken aback. She never referred to him as a friend before. As the first human in Equestria, the two had a lot of time to get to know each other. He had kept things professional up to this point. The man took a deep breath.

“Alright.” he said. “I know you want me to be safe. I am safe doing this, and I can prove it. Do you have any plans tonight?”

“No.” she said.

“Come back here around six.” he said. “I’ll show you something that can prove without a doubt that thilking is safe.”

***

The moon had risen. The air was cool. John had finished his light dinner. He drank the potion he would need for the night ahead right when he got out of bed. His outfit was simple. Brown felt leather pants, and a black leather vest. With no undershirt, his arms and chest were exposed to the open air. He enjoyed the feeling, as he wouldn’t get much cold air when he got to work.

“John?” Twilight called out as she walked up.

“Hey Twilight.” John said. “Ready to go?”

“Where are we going?” she asked

“My weekend job.” he said.

The two began their walk. It didn’t take long for others to be seen walking out at night. Other humans were leaving their homes. All similarly dressed like John. Twilight noticed this quickly.

“Is this outfit out of yours a...uniform?” she asked.

“Pretty much.” he answered. “Needed something that wouldn’t absorb too much sweat when not performing. With the potions maximizing sweat output, we gotta be ready to be shirtless at a moment’s notice. Rarity designed them.”

“S-She did?” she asked, a little shocked.

“Yeah.” he said. “Looks like we got here before the line really started forming. We normally don’t open until eight. VIPs get to be in one hour early. As a princess, you’re already a VIP. I’ll see if I can get you in with me a little earlier.”

The two had made it to their destination. The Ponyville Market. During the day, it was a bustling place filled with ponies buying and selling wares. At night, there was only one tent up and running. She never saw it before. The overhang had an image of a pony tongue and a human chest. The other humans out in uniform were making their way there. The title was in Ponish. John’s understanding was still rusty.

“Club Lickr?” Twilight asked. “I’ve heard rumors of a thilkers club, but didn’t know it was so close.”

“That’s why they call it an ‘underground’ club, and not an ‘out in the open’ club.” John said with a smile.

The other humans walked into the tent, as a familiar minty pony let them pass. She waved to the two as they approached.

“Hey John. Hey Twilight.” Lyra said as they walked up.

“Hey Lyra.” John said as he looked over to Twilight. “Lyra here is our security for the entrance. Kinda like a bouncer. Troublemakers don’t get past her, and she kicks out the ones that do.”

“A little early for a VIP John.” Lyra said.

“There’s a reason for that.” he said. “Twilight’s concerned about my safety. I figured if I showed her my work, she would relax a bit.”

“Had it been any other human, I would say no.” the mare said.

“That’s why you’re my favorite Lyra.” John said with a wink as he walked into the tent with a princess in tow.

***

“When you said the club was underground, I thought you were being rhetorical.” Twilight said.

The tent had contained nothing more than cellar doors disguised with grass. The underground hallway was lined with smooth stone. It was lit with glowing blue crystals. The end of the hallway led to an open room. Large wooden tables and normal-sized chairs. An open space in the middle. Was that DJ Pon-3 setting up her booth? More blue crystals lighting the place. The walls and ceiling were more smooth stone. There were doors and hallways dotting the walls of the room.

“This is the main lobby.” John said. “When clients aren’t in a private session, they’re out here. They can dance, drink, or even enjoy a salt lick. Reserved clients go first, so the wait is usually long. We’ll have a few of the guys ready for group licks out here for those waiting.”

“Group licks?” she asked.

“Yeah.” he said. “We lay on the tables with heat lamps above us. We sweat like crazy, and the ponies at the table just go at it. It’s cheaper than a private session, since you can split the cost with friends. I remember this one session I had with...”

Twilight tuned out as John reminisced. An entire group of ponies, all licking one human? A mental image of her and her five closest friends all licking a sweaty John popped into her mind. She blushed intensely at the thought. He was a friend! Plus, she wasn’t here to partake. She was here to make sure he was safe. At the first sign of trouble, she was alerting Princess Celestia.

“...in the end, I should’ve known that old griffon was trouble as soon as she pulled out the barbecue sauce.” he said as Twilight refocused on the conversation. “So now we have the sign that tells patrons that saucing us up is for private sessions only. I think Lyra still flinches at the smell of ranch and barbecue sauce now that I think about it. Took her weeks to get the smell out of her mane. Anyways, sorry for going off track there.”

Before she could say it was fine, a unicorn mare walked up. A blue coat and green mane. She had bracelets and a clipboard floating beside her. Thin-brimmed glasses and a reserved look. She glanced at Twilight before looking back to him.

“You know our policy on clients before opening John, princess or not.” the mare said.

“She’s not a client boss.” he said. “Twilight’s been seeing too many anti-thilking posters, and I wanted to show her I’m safe here. That’s all.”

“Alright then.” the boss mare said with an eye roll. “Anyways, you’re reserved for a VIP until closing. Bracelets on.”

“A seven hour thilking session again?” he groaned as he adorned the gold bracelets. “If it’s who I think it is, she has a problem. It’s the third weekend in a row. I swear she’s addicted to me.”

“She’s our highest-paying client and she only comes when you’re here, so get over it.” the mare said. “We open for the VIPs in thirty, so you better get preppin’.”

“You got it boss!” John said as the mare walked away. He smiled at Twilight as they walked to a door behind the DJ booth with a human silhouette. “Don’t let that demeanor fool you, she’s a great boss. She keeps the peace. Makes sure no tongues touch us without consent.”

“I’m glad for that.” Twilight said as saw the room they were now in. Couches in the middle, and a a few shower stalls off to the side. A few humans were rapidly chugging water from large jugs. They waved to John, and he waved back. “What’s this room?”

“The prep and break room.” he answered. “When we get a break, we’re here. We also chug water before and between sessions. They all drank the same potion as me. Now let’s go to my room.”

“You get your own room?” she asked.

“Since I’m reserved for a VIP, I get a separate room for breaks and prep.” he said. “It also leads to the room reserved for the VIP.”

The two walked to the opposite end of the room. They passed the humans drinking water. They approached a door labeled with an insignia of the gold bracelets John was wearing. Upon opening the door, it was a sight. A soft reclining chair in the back of the room. A table to their left with numerous jugs of water. Another door to their right with a pony silhouette and what looked like a mask hanging off a hook by the door. John grabbed a jug of water, and then plopped down in the chair.

“Pretty nice huh?” he asked as he began to drink.

“It’s nice that you get privacy.” she said as she looked around.

“Boss said she had the private prep room made to encourage us to really sell ourselves to the richer clients.” he said. “My client tonight has paid for an open-to-close session for the third weekend in a row. Whoever she is, she’s a high roller. Private sessions cost double a group lick at a hundred bits an hour.”

“Two questions.” Twilight said. “One: how do you not know who she is? Two: how much do you make doing this if they pay a hundred bits an hour for you?”

“Easy answers.” John said. “I wear a mask to conceal my identity, and it blocks most of my vision. Also, I get twenty five percent from every session.”

“This one mare has paid over four thousand bits, just for sessions with you?” she asked, a little concerned. “Aren’t you worried she might be obsessed with you?”

“Anything non-consensual is a lifetime ban.” he answered as he polished off the jug and reached for another. “I have a panic button in reach at all times when I’m with the VIP. One press, and the security team is here almost instantly. Did I mention half the security is former Equestrian military?”

“You did not.” she said, surprised.

“Any more questions, little miss ‘I worry about John too much’?” he asked coyly.

“Just one.” she answered. “What are the bracelets for?”

“They have a protection charm.” John answered. “I can’t be physically touched until I take them off. Now unless you have more questions, you should get home for some sleep. We’ll be open in twenty minutes.”

Twilight had ran out of questions in that moment. She couldn’t leave him there. Not with this client of his. While yes, there were former military working as security. What if this client could teleport? She needed to know he would be safe. John could see the look of concern and sighed.

“Would you feel better if you stayed?” he asked.

***

John was glad that Twilight agreed to stay in the room. Her concern was a little adorable. The door to his room had a peephole, but he neglected to tell her. He told her twice not to enter the room while he was with a client, just to make sure she got the message. While the boss was chill with him showing her around, bothering clients would land him in hot water. Last time one of the guys made her mad, they had to pull shifts at the private sessions hosted by the Canterlot elite. Those rich old ponies were all kinds of weird with their thilking.

So here he was. Vest off to the side. Sweat beginning to pour out. Mask covering his whole face. Everything had become vague shapes through the full face visor. The client preferred him strapped down to the table. She had a bit of a preference for a sweat slave roleplay. He would play the helpless, mute victim. Struggling here and there. She really enjoyed it. He didn’t mind the roleplay sessions. Each client had their own taste.

The door opened, and the light clopping of hooves could be heard. Time to put on the show. He struggled at his restraints. Acting like someone trying to escape. Giving a few grunts of effort. A playful chuckle echoed in his ears. Despite her effort to sound evil or mean, her voice still carried its motherly tone. The care could still be faintly heard behind it.

“Struggle all you want human.” she said. “It just gives me what I want, faster. Be a good boy and really sweat for me. I want mouthfuls tonight.”

It wasn’t long before he felt a large and wet tongue press against his lower abdomen. He felt it slide up to his chest. It was lifted, went back to the lower abdomen, and slid up again. The process repeated over and over. The client would try to keep up the roleplay, but usually ‘got lost in the thilk’ a few hours in. By the time the session would finish, she would barely be able to put a sentence together. Most thilkers got intoxicated after an hour. Whoever this client was, she was hardcore. Countless hours of straight thilking. She either had a high tolerance for salt, or was simply built different.

“Mmmmm.” she moaned. “Keep the good stuff coming.”

**CRASH**

***

Twilight felt a lot of emotions in the span of a minute. While John didn’t tell her of the peephole, she found it quickly. She leaned against the door to look through. Seeing him helplessly strapped down was bothersome, but she had been told the client liked to roleplay. When the client walked in, she felt familiar somehow. Tall with a white coat, and beautiful pink mane. She saw wings and a horn. An alicorn? She leaned more of her weight on the door for a closer look.

**CRASH**

It seemed the door couldn’t take her weight. That, or the lock gave out. Either way, she had an unknown alicorn staring at her. Face as red as can be.

“T-Twilight?!” the alicorn asked.

“C-Celestia?!” she asked in shock. She had recognized the voice immediately.

“Well, there goes anonymity.” John said.

“John?!” Celestia asked in shock.

With a yellow glow, the straps were quickly undone. The man sat up. He lifted his mask, and saw two blushing alicorns.

“Twilight, I told you to stay in the room.” he said.

“You...but she...then I...” she tried to get words out of her mouth.

The door burst open. A stallion and mare burst in. Both unicorns, horns glowing. John waved them off.

“False alarm.” he said. They nodded and left. He looked back to the mares. “You know the boss is gonna take that door repair out of my pay right?”

With a glow of her horn, the broken door was back in place in a flash of light. The door was fixed. Now to fix the situation. First, the stuttering mare. The princess of the sun seemed to know what to do. A wing was gently placed on the panicked mare.

“Twilight, take a deep breath.” Celestia said. Twilight complied. “I think I should explain. If John doesn’t mind.”

“Not at all.” he said with a smile. “I’ll go refresh on some water. Knock when you’re ready.”

The man walked into his private room. The door closed with a click. Now the alicorns were alone.

“I guess you learned my little secret.” the disguised princess said with a chuckle.

“Y-Y-You’re a thilker?” Twilight asked.

“Well, I am the creator of The Human Lickers Club after all.” she answered.

“WHAT?” the purple mare asked in shock.

“It’s simple.” she said. “When you’ve been alive as long as I have, you have an extremely long time to develop your...tastes. It’s quite funny how it started. When he lived in the castle a year ago, John had invited me for a morning run. He had taken many, but I never went with him. I figured ‘why not?’ to break up the monotony. Two legs versus four meant I outpaced him quickly. Our jog around Canterlot left us quite tired. By the time we looped back to the castle, I noticed the effect our run had. His body was dripping with sweat. Soaked. Sweat isn’t seen often in many species. The few I knew of, had sweat of a lightly salty variety. I asked John if that was the same. Imagine my intrigue when he says human sweat is extremely salty.”

“S-So you...” Twilight trailed off.

“I licked him right there, in front of my guards.” Celestia said. “After that first lick, I teleported the two of us to my room. I had my fun, and we both learned something. I began to enjoy his morning runs a lot more. When the portal to the human’s world was stabilized, I saw an opportunity. So I started the club that gave rise to thilking as we know it. Under a disguise of course. Club Lickr happened on its own funnily enough. I just saw an opportunity to have my own fun. The owner never asks questions about an unknown alicorn when they spend the bits I do.”

“I guess I never thought of you as a thilker.” she said. “Maybe John was right about those anti-thilking posters.”

“Perhaps you should join me for the rest of the night.” the princess said.

“What?!” she asked, her cheeks nearly a shining red. “B-B-But it’s J-John! He’s a friend!”

“Would you rather your first thilking experience be with a total stranger, or a human you know?” Celestia asked with a smile.

***

The rest of the session went well. John wasn’t sure how Celestia convinced Twilight to join in. Though it’s not too surprising. She can be very persuasive. Her first few licks were adorable. First-timers were always adorable. Once she got her rhythm, things got interesting. He never pegged her as being into thilking. She was licking with more intensity than any of them expected.

After many hours, a ringing bell began to echo through the halls. His straps were undone, and he sat up. Since their secrets were out, he took off his mask. He looked over to the corner by his door. Twilight had drunkenly passed out a couple hours ago. He couldn’t help but chuckle as the disguised Celestia picked her up.

“I don’t know why she tried to keep up with you.” he said.

“Wellllll, she gets credit for trying.” the princess chuckled. “Oh and don’t worry, I’ll take her home. You have a busy Monday ahead of you.”

“And why is that, dear princess?” John asked.

“A certain duchess from Prance is visiting tomorrow, and she wants to try thilking.” she answered. “I’m sure your boss won’t mind me renting you for a private session for the next few days.”

“This better not be a way for you to try and trick me back into our old ‘arrangement’.” he grumbled.

“Stop worrying.” she said as she opened the door into the hallway. “I give you my word that my Pimp-lestia days are over.”

“Goodnight, you terrible liar.” John said as he closed the door.