Chapter One: Equus Non Grata
Chapter One: Equus Non Grata
"Coming up with words is, like, really hard."
There were two possible explanations.
The first was that something had gone wrong with the flow of time.
The second was that he was incredibly slow at his job.
While the first was absolutely ridiculous, it was something beyond his power to fix, and therefore comforting to ponder as he sat there leering at the green text glaring at him from the screen of his terminal. Would it not be so much easier to just be the victim of some mysterious temporal anomaly, instead of some stallion sitting there in the dark on a cinder block, capable of solving the problem with some obvious action?
...
His magic unscrewed the cap of a nearby flask before it floated over to his lips so that he could take a swig.
"Fuck it." His hooves rose then typed out some adequate text that he would have to stop staring at immediately, before he could recognize the ways that literally everything was completely, irredeemably wrong with it. He then saved it, checked it over, copied it to the loaded holodisk, ejected said holodisk, and levitated it into his nearby saddlebags.
"Done," he proclaimed as he made up for last night's shower by magically grabbing a pouch of orange fluid that had been lying on the floor next to his neglected bedroll. As he sipped the contents he stepped over to his open saddlebags and checked over his supplies.
One pistol, slightly rusty, with half a magazine of bullets.
One half filled bottle of filtered water that would not slowly kill him.
A sack of ten bottle caps... maybe less.
An empty jug much larger than the first bottle.
Some... 'tools'.
One folded up, very important piece of paper.
One even more important holodisk containing, among other things, a document that he should probably go over again, because he might not have maintained the narrative and thematic cohesion while also using the word 'nary' far too-
"Nope. It's done. It's fucking done. Just get out before you decide to sit your ass back down, and waste more time playing Striped Menace," he scolded himself as he decisively closed and latched the saddlebags before he could ponder his failures any further. He sucked down the last of the orange fluid, tossed the empty plastic pouch into the pile of garbage in an otherwise unused corner of his blissfully gray concrete shelter, then pulled on his usual 'traveling' outfit consisting of a well worn rag or two duct taped together into a crude coat that would give ponies the impression he had been out and about. The saddlebags followed the coat, and while he strapped them into place, taking special care to keep his flanks covered, he approached a steel ladder that was built into the wall.
Moments later the thick steel hatch in the concrete foundation of what remained of a house destroyed centuries prior gave a loud metallic groan as it was forced open. A bleary eyed unicorn stallion emerged from the bomb shelter, squinting through his partially cracked glasses against the sudden onslaught of light from the bright sun above. He was surrounded by a slowly recovering landscape with a sprinkling of young trees bearing sparse amounts of orange and yellow leaves. Off in the distance in one direction was the vast blue sea stretching out to the horizon, and in the other direction the terrain steadily inclined upward. At the top of the hill was a large settlement with a massive old world space observatory as its centerpiece. Above him was clear blue skies, and a mid morning sun beaming its warmth and joy down upon him.
"I miss the clouds," he muttered bitterly as he started walking uphill.
*** *** ***
Her eyes fluttered open and then blinked a few times before the mare groaned and dug her face into the nearest pillow while her wings drew the comforter back around her.
"Come baaack," she whined to the dream that was quickly escaping from her memory. There had been a beach, or at least what she had imagined one would be like. Any further specifics were already gone, but it had left her feeling content and warm as though an old friend was leaving after a pleasant visit. She yawned and then let out a tired groan as her legs and wings alike stretched beneath her bedding, eyes closing to try and go back to sleep since she had not a care in the world.
...
"Oh, wait!" She shot awake as she remembered something very, very important. The pegasus mare set aside her pillow and then burrowed her way out of the nest of an unsettlingly large amount of additional pillows arranged atop her bed. With one last yawn and stretch she trotted over to her bathroom.
After freshening up and combing out her bedmane, she stepped out and spent a couple moments looking at the half finished painting on her easel that sat next to a few shelves full of painting supplies. It was mostly just a sky so far, a lovely blue sky with a bright sun and a couple distant clouds. She had been pondering what kind of landscape to paint below it, and she smiled in a silent thanks to her passing dream for making it easier to decide. But that was for later, right now she had very important things to be doing!
"Oh? You're certainly up earlier than usual," remarked the unicorn mare sitting at their dining room table as the younger pegasus strolled downstairs.
"Good morning to you too, mom!" she replied with a smirk and proceeded to look for a peach in their fridge.
"What's the occasion?" the older mare asked as she returned her attention back to her book and took a sip of her tea.
Her daughter nudged the refrigerator door shut with her hoof and then walked over with a peach in her mouth before setting it down on the table. "New issue of Starlight Serials goes to print today!"
"Oh... that," her mother sneered disdainfully at her response.
"Yes, that. I've read everything I want to read from the observatory library already, Starlight Serials is constantly publishing new stuff, and we've had this conversation a bazillion times already," she replied.
"Poppy, I've made my peace with your... taste in literature. What I fail to understand is why you insist on going to Outwall yourself. It's dangerous out there. You should ask somepony from SHS to go get it for you instead," her mother reminded her while putting her book aside.
"Mom, I can fly. There might not be another pony in the entire Radscythe that can say that. If something bad happens, up I go!" she said with a demonstrative flap of her wings. "What are they going to do about it?"
"Ah yes I see your point, you're obviously completely safe. Hopefully, nopony ever invents something that can fire bullets or laser beams at anypony. You might be in trouble at that point," her mother snarked back while frowning at her.
"For duck's sake, the trading post is in line of sight of the checkpoint!" Poppy countered. "You act like I haven't been out there also a... kerzillion times."
Her mother let out a long sigh. "Sweetie, I love you. Even if you've been out there ten 'kerzillion' times, which again isn't actually a number, the only time I care about is the time you're out there and something does go wrong."
At being reminded that the obviously fake number was obviously fake, Poppy proceeded to roll her eyes and then take a bite of peach.
"I doubt you're going to listen though, and you're too old to be sent to your room anymore, so just please do me a favor and have somepony from SHS come along with you to the trading post, alright?"
Poppy smiled and nodded cheerfully at her mother's reasonable request. In a completely unrelated event, two primary feathers on her wing out of her mother's view briefly crossed, for completely unknowable reasons!
"Good. I'll not worry as much then," she said while levitating her book open again to resume her reading as Poppy swallowed her bite of peach.
...
...
...
Her mother made it through half a page before the sensation of her daughter boring a hole into her skull with her eyes became a bit too distracting. "Yes?"
"I'm... going to need seventy-five caps to buy the new issue," Poppy confessed, the tips of her two front hooves pressed together sheepishly.
Her mother blinked. "I gave you three-hundred caps last week. What happened to them?"
"I might have used half of them to buy really fancy pillows."
...
"Pillows."
"Really, really fancy pillows," Poppy assured her.
"Fine. What about the other half?"
...
"Other... somewhat less fancy pil-"
"Nevermind," her mother cut her off as she set her book aside again and got to her hooves. "I'm just going to be happy that, thanks to me, my daughter gets to live so comfortably. I'll be right back."
By the time her mother returned from upstairs with a bag of caps, Poppy was tossing a peach pit into the garbage bin.
"Here's two-hundred caps, because I know you're probably going to look around for any art supplies you can find too," she said to her daughter with a smile as she levitated the money into the pair of saddlebags hanging from a hook by their front door.
"Aww thanks, mom!" Poppy beamed as she trapped her mother in a tight hug.
"Grk!" Her mother took a moment to pat her daughter on the head affectionately prior to magically prying her hooves off. "Just remember to get that escort, please," she reminded her.
"I will," Poppy began as she trotted over and pulled on her now bottlecap laden saddlebags. "I won't I won't I won't," she continued under her breath as she made for the door, only for somepony outside to knock before she could reach it. She opened it a crack and peered outside to see a familiar stone blue stallion in a nice clean suit. "Oh, good morning mayor," she greeted while opening the door fully.
"Good morning Poppy, just making the morning rounds to make sure all the council members will be there for the meeting today," the mayor explained as Poppy's mother walked up behind her.
"Morning, Platinum Band. Care for some tea, since I can't seem to get back to reading to save my own life?" she offered with a half lidded smirk at him.
"Sounds nice, Diamond Eyes. I'm afraid I can't stay for long though, busy as usual," he said to the matronly mare with her mane hanging over her shoulder, tied up in a black velvet band.
"Hrm, sounds like I should get that tea brewing then," she replied, then turned and sauntered back to her kitchen while making it difficult to not spot the golden watch cutie mark adorning her flank.
"So where are you headed today Poppy?" Platinum Band asked as he stepped aside to let her pass.
"Just going out to do some shopping, no big deal, bye!" Poppy replied quickly in an attempt to leave.
“Are you just going to leave without putting this peach pit in the trash?” Her mother scoffed.
“I… what?” she looked back in confusion. There was indeed still a peach pit on the counter. She blinked a couple times, eyes going from the peach pit to the trash can and back. “Oh, I’m sorry… I could have sworn I had already,” she said while trotting back over and dropping it in the trash can.
“I swear Poppy, you’d lose your own wings if I wasn’t here to keep an eye on them,” Diamond Eyes chuckled, giving her daughter an assuring pat on the head.
“I know… thanks, mom,” she said sheepishly, perking up again just as Platinum Band was about to ask something else. “Okay gotta go, already late, bye for real this time!” she interrupted while practically galloping past him, zipping out the door and down the corridor before anypony could ask anymore questions.
The mayor blinked and then sighed as he stepped into their apartment. "Since you let her go, I'll assume she explained things to you adequately."
"Let's just say I'll be questioning some of SHS later this week," Diamond Eyes replied as her magic closed and locked the door behind him.
*** *** ***
"Perfect timing!" Poppy chirped as she emerged from the stairwell into the sunlight beaming down onto the observatory's slot deck, something only able to be enjoyed for a few hours each morning. On her way to the stairs down to the ground level she returned a few waves and greetings from their neighbors from the inner apartments. While life in the observatory was universally leisurely and relaxing, she still did not envy her neighbors who only had balconies overlooking the slot deck instead of balconies carved out of the outer observatory hull with views overlooking the entire town and surrounding countryside.
The dome was reserved for only the most affluent of Starlight Hill, but the denizens of the lower level were still plenty important. While there was a small staff of office ponies ensuring that business proceeded smoothly, the bulk of the floorspace was devoted to the barracks and armory of Starlight Hill Security. For the most part, Poppy got to see them as normal ponies out of uniform going about their day in their off duty hours, but even inside the observatory there were always four officers at their posts in full uniform, without exception. The first pair guarded a thick reinforced steel door that was the first of several layers of protection guarding the orchard down below that had been key to the town's success. The second pair stood watch at the entrance, keeping track of every pony that entered and exited.
Poppy approached this second pair with a spring in her step. They may have looked imposing in their black and blue, steel plate reinforced Stable-Tec security barding, bearing a somewhat faded number 50, but they were still just friends as far as she was concerned. It was a sentiment they had in common.
"Mornin' Miss Crafts, Starlight Serials I assume?" one of them asked cheerfully, already moving to unlock the front door for her.
"Yep! Morning, Mister Frontline! How are you doing today?" she asked in reply.
"Another day another apple," the stallion answered with a shrug after opening the door for her. "Just make sure you tell your mother I gave you the appropriate hassling if she asks," he requested in jest.
"Hehe, I will! Thanks!"
Poppy stepped out into the sunlight again, strolling along the quaint little cobblestone path leading to the observatory checkpoint ahead. Around her was an actual honest to goodness lawn of lovely green grass along with an assortment of flower beds along the walls of the observatory, all of which had only been made possible just shy of half decade ago when the clouds had cleared away. Ever since the absolutely delightful amount of green had grown in fully, Poppy would be hard pressed to count the hours she had spent reading or napping whilst reclining on the soft grass. It made for an especially appropriate place for her yearly reading of her favorite book as well.
Enclosing this enormous grassy circle of leisure surrounding the observatory was a tall concrete wall topped with barbed wire, the only way in or out being guarded by the ponies at the first checkpoint she would need to pass on her way to her prize. The gate was every bit as thick and steely as the security door inside of the observatory, and at each side there was a tower giving the guards on the inside of the wall a view overtop of it. Two more security officers were posted outside on the ground, and a fifth slowly patrolled around the inside making sure nopony who dared to climb over would be inside for long. Poppy only had to give one of the ponies in the tower a wave before she got a nod in return. The mare up top pressed a button activating a pair of motors that raised the gate for her, allowing her to continue her trip.
She always found it amusing how much less the security ponies worried after her when compared to her mother. It made sense though. They knew better than her mother ever could that she had come from tough, resilient stock.
Inwall district was itself also quite the luxurious destination. The many buildings had been designed by the finest architects caps could buy, and constructed from the best materials said architects could source. The roads were neatly paved and lined with refurbished street lights and regularly placed benches without a spot of litter to be found thanks to diligent sanitation workers. The shops promised only the finest of products, the restaurants served only the best of food with the finest of service, and though the housing could not hold a candle to that of the observatory itself, a pony could still count themselves supremely lucky to live there.
Poppy hated it.
More specifically she hated being there while also being the daughter of a mare on the Starlight Hill Council. Ambitious rich ponies catching the scent of Poppy's connections ensured she had a lot of 'friends' that there with whom she preferred to converse as little as possible. As such, she headed straight for the checkpoint into Midwall while trying to be as inconspicuous as-
"Oh, hello there Miss Crafts!"
Ducking heck.
Poppy cringed and started walking faster as the aggressively smiling mare that had snuck up beside her matched her pace. "Uh, hi."
"Fancy seeing you out here! Say, how about we get some breakfast, huh? My treat!" the mare offered cheerfully as they both broke into a canter.
"Oh, thank you, I appreciate it. But I'm busy. Like, super busy. All day," Poppy lied while trying to avoid eye contact.
"Aww what a shame, but hey as long as we're out for a morning jog together, I've got a swell idea the council would just love to death!" the mare pressed further as they broke into a gallop.
"That's nice, I'm sure you gave it a lot of thought," Poppy stalled as she caught the eyes of one of the checkpoint guards while galloping toward them.
"I certainly did! Anyway-"
"Ma'am, kindly stop running near the checkpoint. That is against SHS regulations," the young security stallion requested firmly, stopping the mare in her tracks.
"Oh, I'm not running, we're just out for a jog, isn't that right Miss... Crafts?" The mare looked around, only to find that there was no longer a pegasus anywhere in sight.
"Like I said, stop running near the checkpoint, and continue with your day as usual, ma'am," the guard repeated.
"I hear you loud and clear, and my usual day includes jogging with my good friend Poppy Crafts! If you would kindly point out where she went? I seem to have lost track of her, silly me!" the mare said with what one could assume was an attempt at a disarming chuckle.
"Move. Along. Please," the guard repeated for a third time.
"Well, Trail Blazer, you can certainly depend on your boss getting a piece of my mind, and I hope it gets your smug ass assigned to Outwall for the rest of your fucking life," the mare smoldered with an angry glare, her mask slipping for a moment before she went stomping off.
...
"Is she gone?" Poppy asked in a hushed whisper from her spot hiding behind the sandbag checkpoint barrier.
"Yeah, you're safe," Blazer answered as he unlatched the gate. "You really should just fly over Inwall, I promise we won't tell Diamond Eyes."
"I'd take you up on that but, I don't want to risk my mom seeing me from the balcony. She'd probably lecture my ears off for a good hour when I got back if she caught me flying," she lamented before giving her friend a hug of appreciation. "Thanks, Trail Blazer."
"Just doing my job... but if you insist on thanking me, you can meet me for dinner later," he said, returning the hug with a devilish smirk that made her cheeks brighten a bit.
"Oh gosh, again? Sure," she replied with a nod and a giggle. "I have to get going though, bye Blazer!"
"See you at six!" he called out after her as she cantered away into Midwall district.
With that unpleasantness out of the way, she was finally in her home away from home. Midwall ponies were more the down to earth sort that knew one could get more flies by just leaving honey out instead of hunting the fly down relentlessly and shoving honey in its face. SHS had a bit less of a presence, but metal pipe guns from the local smith were cheap, and Midwall ponies were not the fragile sort. Even if that was not enough of a deterrent, the district's outer wall was fitted with four automated gun turrets. They were usually meant to point away toward Outwall, but if anything happened behind them it would be a simple matter of turning them around.
The architecture and infrastructure was a good bit rougher, being largely improvised from salvage. Between all of the ponies in Midwall there was more than enough know-how to keep things up and running though, and with the local district businesses bringing in caps from visiting caravans, there was always enough extra money on hoof to pay scavvers for replacement parts. They were always far more busy than Inwall ponies though. With no premium charge on their goods, they had to make up for it in volume, and there were always things breaking from sheer age that needed repairing or replacing. Overall, Midwall was not lacking in quality of life, but much more had to be done in order to earn it. Still, things were improving. Inwall used to look like Midwall after all, and Midwall used to look like Outwall… or at least that's what Poppy had always been told.
With nopony to chase after her in pursuit of political favors, she felt free to actually do some shopping. Her first stop was of course her favorite store in Midwall, the Starlight Stockpile! She trotted in beneath the large sign overhead portraying a yellow shooting star soaring across the store's name, and was displeased to see the owner currently dealing with two Starlight Hill Security guards. That was fine though, she could browse and then give her a proper greeting when she had finished with them.
True to her mother's prediction, she found a few bottles of paint that struck her fancy. She was running low on those particular colors, and who knew when the caravans would bring more? It was a bit of a niche product, and it needed to be produced brand new instead of scavenged, so it was often not worth carrying around for trade. For all she knew, her being there to buy them was the only reason anypony in the Mainstreet Caravan Company even bothered to bring them. Unfortunately, when she made it back to the front the owner was still engaged with the two SHS ponies, even after she had taken the time to find a few replacement brushes to boot!
"I don't rightly know where exactly, but word has it that he always heads to the southwest after leaving the Outwall gate. Funny direction for a courier to be going if you ask me," the elderly earth pony mare at the counter finished explaining.
"Is that all you can give us then, ma'am?" one of the guards pressed further.
"Can't really think of anypony else that would have a reason to do that. Sorry," she replied with a shrug.
"Really? You've worked in this shop since you were a young filly a century and a half ago, and you can't think of one other pony that would have a beef with the mayor?" the other guard asked while leaning over the counter, her eyes shrouded from view by the visor of her security helmet with teeth bared in a silent snarl. Whatever they were doing, they had apparently been at it long enough for things to become a bit tense. "We're Starlight Hill Security, we can't exactly do our fucking job if all you can give us is one description and a vague direction, you old hag."
"Hey!" Poppy shouted as she dropped her paint and brushes on the counter, catching their attention. "You're right, you are Starlight Hill Security, and that means you should be better than to use foul language, and boss around Miss Closeout!"
The irritated unicorn mare security guard's baton levitated out of its holster and prodded Poppy in the chest threateningly. "And who the fuck are you, exactly?"
"Oh, right, what are you going to do? Beat me up?"
"No idea. Keep runnin' your damn mouth instead of answering my question and we might find the fuck out."
"I'm Poppy Crafts!"
"And... ?"
"From the observatory!? Councilpony Diamond Eye's daughter!? The only pegasus pony in all of the Radscythe?! You lay one hoof on me, then you can bet your rumps that the mayor himself is going to drop the hammer on you so ducking fast you won't even know what hit you!" Poppy countered as she batted the baton away.
"Aw shit, hold it," the other guard stallion intervened, quickly pinning the baton to the floor with his hoof as the guard mare let out a grumbling sigh. "We're sorry Miss... Crafts? We're new to the force and we just got a little too eager to find out who issued the anonymous threat on Mayor Platinum Band."
Poppy's eyes widened at hearing this, her stance relaxing a bit now that her attempt at persuasion had defused the situation. "What? He never said anything about that to me or my mom, and we talk every day!"
"He wouldn't have. We're trying to keep it relatively quiet while we look into it. Better to catch whoever's responsible than to scare them off so they can come back again later, you know?" he explained.
"I suppose... I have no idea who would do something like that though. Everypony I know seems fine with the job the mayor is doing," Poppy lamented, a bit crestfallen at being unable to help.
"That's alright ma'am, we're here to make sure he'll be fine, with help or otherwise." He turned to the store's owner. "Miss Closeout? I'd like to apologize on behalf of SHS, nerves have been a bit frayed recently, considering the situation," he offered.
"Well... I certainly don't appreciate getting raked over the coals in my own store, but I'll let it go this once. Just don't do it again, or I'll be complaining to your higher ups!" Closeout scolded while scowling at the two of them.
"Understood, have a nice day," the stallion said with a nod before motioning for his fellow guard to follow and heading for the door.
The guard mare holstered her baton and then turned to leave, giving Poppy a sidelong frown as she trotted past. "'Ducking'? Seriously?"
"Duck off," Poppy repeated with narrowed eyes as the guard mare continued out the door.
"Thank you kindly Poppy. I could've handled them myself, but you certainly did save me a heap o' time," Closeout admitted as she started for the doorway to the back room. "Mind if I have Clearance ring you up? I gotta go out back and give the ol' punchin' bag a few licks to work off wanting to slap that mare's helmet right off her face!"
"Sure, I don't mind," Poppy agreed with a nod.
"Clearance! Come ring up a customer for your grandma while she kicks things!" she called out. Seconds later, hurried hoofsteps approached in reply before a freckle faced teenaged mare emerged. She was about to greet Poppy, but then saw that Poppy was indeed Poppy and gave a little gasp as her cheeks colored ever so slightly.
"Miss Crafts! Hi! Um, how are you?" she asked clumsily as she started looking over the paint bottles and brushes.
"I'm great! How about you?" Poppy chirped back.
"M-me too! Um, what are you up to... today?"
"I'm headed to Outwall to buy the new issue of Starlight Serials, and I figured I'd stop here on my way and buy some things. Shame you don't seem to have any new pillows in stock, but I'm glad you had the paint," she answered, setting a hoof on one of the paint bottles with a smile.
"Hey... great, I mean, sorry we didn't have any pillows. Um, do you mind if I ask... something?" Clearance asked.
Poppy blinked. "Not... really?"
"What uh... what do you do with all the pillows you buy, exactly?" Clearanced inquired further. "I mean it's none of my business, obviously, just... curious. You… kind of buy a lot."
"Oh, hehe, is that all? I just make a big pillow nest out of them," Poppy answered as her smile returned. "Mom won't let me grab any clouds, so I try to make the next best thing to sleep on."
"A pillow nest? Huh... never seen that before," Clearance responded while adding up her total on a piece of scratch paper with a pencil in her mouth.
"Really? You should come try it out with me sometime then," Poppy offered.
Clearance's face turned somewhat more red as the pencil dropped from her mouth. "W-what?"
"Yeah! We could hang out and chit chat and read and stuff," Poppy added. "It'd be really nice having a friend over that wasn't from the observatory or Inwall for once."
"Oh, right! Obviously that's what you meant!" Clearance stammered a bit before awkwardly clearing her throat. "B-but I agree, it would be great to hang out with you. Plus I'd get to see Inwall and the observatory."
"Eeh, skip Inwall," Poppy advised with a slight grimace, motioning with her hoof dismissively.
"B-but I'd love to see all those new buildings you all built there from the ground up! Brand new, without a scrap of salvage worked into them! I couldn't skip that," Clearance began. "Whenever I have to go get something for grandma, I always stop at the checkpoint as close as the guards will let me, and just look inside a little bit."
"Wow… I guess I never really thought of them that way," Poppy pondered while tapping her chin. "I doubt I could give you a tour myself without getting mobbed by Inwall ponies, but I could see if I can get an SHS guard to take you sightseeing a bit, if you'd like."
Clearance's eyes widened yet again. "You'd do that for me?"
"Sure! I can't guarantee anything, but I've definitely got enough pull in SHS to make it worth trying," Poppy affirmed.
"Alright, I'll uh... try not to get excited until you know for certain, but thank you so much, even if they say no," Clearance beamed, looking as though the counter between them was the only thing keeping the young mare from crushing Poppy in a hug.
"You're welcome!"
"So... um... that'll be fifty-three caps for the paint and brushes. Is that all you'd like today?" she asked after slipping back into business mode, but remained visibly more chipper than a few minutes prior.
Minutes later, Poppy strolled out of the Starlight Stockpile with a lighter bag of caps, intent on making one more stop in Midwall before heading to her final destination. It was on the other end of one of the district's dedicated farming plots where an assortment of earth ponies could be seen toiling at all hours of the day weeding, pruning, watering and... getting another thing that plants needed.
She made it a point not to ask where they got that last thing.
The farmer ponies mostly sold their produce to other denizens of the district, since the Mainstreet Caravan ponies only seemed interested in the produce that came from the orchard below the observatory. The Midwall farms were mostly comprised of the hardier types of hybrid crops that could be easily grown at the surface. Poppy had never been a fan of tatos or mutfruit, but there did not seem to be anything wrong with razorgrain, and it was difficult to mess up something as timeless as corn. She returned a few waves from the friendlier ponies, and ignored a few glares from the less friendly ponies that were visibly resentful of an observatory dweller deigning to walk among them.
Past the farms was a peculiar little shack constructed around the salvaged shell of a Sparkle-Cola machine, and it was probably her favorite thing in all of Midwall. The building was painted red to match the partially faded paint job of the machine around which its front facing wall was built. To the side was a door that had never been unlocked in all of her numerous visits, and apparently barely anypony in the entire town had ever seen the pony that was inside.
They did at least know there was a pony inside though... either that, or a friendly ghost that loved Sparkle-Cola almost as much as Poppy. Liking it more than her was impossible, because Poppy was the biggest fan of Sparkle-Cola that ever was, and nopony would convince her differently! She bought one every time she was in Midwall, because she loved the carrot-ey goodness contained in every refreshing bottle.
Naturally, this interest had arisen in the first place because Diamond Eyes had told her never to drink the stuff. Really, how could Poppy deny herself such a centuries spanning taste sensation when the only thing to worry about could be taken care of with the very occasional dose of Radaway? Her only lingering complaint was the inability to decorate her own room with Sparkle-Cola memorabilia without her mother getting angry.
The machine mostly did not function on its own, save for one part that Poppy adored. Whoever was inside had managed to find a vending machine with the advertising screen on top still in working order. Not only that, but they somehow managed to keep finding holotapes of the old ads that used to play in the old world!
"Ooh, you found a new one!" she gasped as she saw a new animation playing on the screen. As usual, the stars were the peppy looking mare, Spark, and her dour looking companion, Fizzle.
"Hey Fizzle, you know one thing I like about Sparkle-Cola brand soda pop?" Spark asked, happy and energetic as ever.
"I wouldn't even be able to guess, I never drink the stuff," Fizzle grumbled with her usual frown.
Spark then pulled a laser rifle out of nowhere and blasted Fizzle, resulting in the other mare glowing brightly and disintegrating into a small pile of ash.
"It really helps you keep it together!" Spark said with a big smile toward the camera before the Sparkle-Cola logo popped up.
"Oh Fizzle, when are you going to try a Sparkle-Cola already?" Poppy asked while giggling to herself and taking a seat in front of the machine. She counted out twenty caps, then pulled open a small metal drawer that had been welded onto the machine's casing in place of the coin slot, and put them inside before closing it. There was a pause as the pony inside counted up the caps, and then placed an ice cold Sparkle-Cola into another, larger drawer that had replaced the usual retrieval slot before pushing it out for their customer.
"Thank you!" she exclaimed, hoping the always silent occupant could hear her. Poppy then popped the cap off, stashed it away, and took a gulp from the bottle before letting out a contented sigh. She had a little extra spring in her step as she started heading for the Outwall checkpoint with her soda bottle held against her body by a wing.
*** *** ***
"So this'll get me into Midwall?" The leather armor clad mare scrutinized the authentic looking document on the counter before her.
"I guarantee it. But go off and do something else for a day or two before you try it. It'd be bad for business if ponies kept walking out of my shop directly to a checkpoint. Give the guards some time to forget your face," the stallion behind the counter replied while adjusting his ratty looking necktie. Even if it was slightly dirty, a bit of fancy clothing tended to stand out to customers in Outwall.
"Riiight, good idea." She neatly folded up the forgery. "What was that name again?"
"Welded Wire. If you want to get something into Midwall past SHS, he's your guy. He's not free, but he's worth every cap, and he keeps his mouth shut. It's a hell of a better deal than trying to do it on your own, that's for sure."
"Yeah don't worry about me trying it. I don't want needles anywhere near the only good hiding place I can think of," she replied as she tucked the document away into a pocket on her armor.
"No shit, I saw a stallion try it one time... or something similar at least, considering."
"A stallion? You fuckin' kidding me?" she inquired incredulously.
"Swear to sunlight! The moron thought he was home free, but then he sat down wrong, and down he goes from a mysterious case of his heart exploding!" he explained.
"Well shit, if that's the kind of competition I can expect I'm gonna be drowning in caps soon. Thanks again, I'll be back in a couple days."
"Sure thing."
She pulled an about-face toward the door but found a gray unicorn stallion standing there glaring directly at her.
"Uh, Blueline? Who's this guy?" She glanced down at the pistol holstered on her hoof.
"Him? He's another customer of mine. Isn't that right, Seventeen?"
He winced at the name but dutifully eased up to give a practiced answer. "Yeah... yeah it's fine. I'm not here to make trouble. Your business is none of mine."
"Then next time keep the stink eye to yourself, asshole." She strode past him and out the door.
"You've got a lot of nerve getting here late and then making my customers nervous, Seventeen." Blueline turned and input a code into his wall safe, not bothering with a greeting.
"I got here before printing, didn't I?"
"Most ponies understand that 'on time' means 'early enough.'" He counted out a payment of caps and laid it on the counter. "So yeah, you got here before printing, but no, you're not on time. You're late as fuck. Again." He covered five caps with his hoof and dragged them away from the rest. "Do it again and I'll take off ten caps."
"Wait, what the f-"
"Or I could take off ten caps right now if you'd like."
"No! I... okay. Okay, I'm sorry. It won't happen again, Blueline," the other stallion relented. He took a holotape out of his saddlebag and slid it across the counter.
"Good. Take your caps, get the fuck out, and have it here on time next week." Blueline took the holotape and shifted his attention to a terminal hooked up to his printing machine. While he busied himself inserting the holotape and editing some files together, Seventeen counted out the small pile of caps. He finished counting them, raised an eyebrow, then counted them again and frowned.
"Hey, this is only sixty caps. You're ten short," he accused his associate.
"No, it was ten short before you got here late. Now it's fifteen short," Blueline answered without looking away from his terminal.
"Why?"
"Because I decided that's what you get paid now. Why else would it be?"
"That's not fair!"
"You know what's not fair? Even after that, I still have to sell eight copies before I start making one cap of profit off your shit, and I'm lucky if the caravans buy nine in one-"
"I'm here!" Poppy cheered as she burst into the room, and was nigh instantly standing at the front counter trotting in place with a wide, excited smile plastered on her face. The two stallions both flinched at her rapid entrance, but Blueline quickly recovered.
"Hey there Miss Crafts! You’re having a good morning, I hope?" he greeted her, slipping back into his customer friendly demeanor as he typed hurriedly at his terminal.
"Yep, and I'm about to have an even better morning!" She all but openly shoved Seventeen to the side and earned an entirely disregarded scowl for her trouble. "Lay that new issue on me!"
"Well! As fate would have it, this courier just brought the last story, and now all I have to do is copy and paste it onto the end of the issue, then amend the table of contents," Blueline assured her, hitting a last few keystrokes before the connected printing machine sprang to life and whirred loudly as it printed out pages and dispensed them in a neat stack. Seventeen left his caps on the counter rather than grab them and leave just yet. He was now decidedly interested in this exchange.
"You're a courier?" Poppy inquired as she turned to the stallion beside her.
"Uh... yeah, I am. See?" He opened his saddlebag and out levitated a document that unfolded to reveal a genuine enough Moonlight Express courier pass. Before Poppy could get a closer look, it was refolded and hidden away in his bag again.
"Wow! I would never have guessed. You must be really tough to go from town to town all on your own with those rags instead of any armor," she admired while looking him over.
He fidgeted slightly from the attention given to himself and his cobbled together coat of rags. "I uh... yeah, sure."
"Anyway, that'll be-" Blueline paused a moment to calculate something in his head "-nine caps for the newest issue right off the presses... or out of the printer, as the case may be."
Seventeen's eyes narrowed. Since when did Blueline need a moment to remember his own prices? For that matter, why had those prices not been posted anywhere? The stallion could afford to run an entire store, but was priced out of buying a plank of wood and some paint?
She gasped. "Really?"
"Really," Blueline nodded with a smile.
"Wow, thank you so much Blueline!" Poppy gushed as she fished out the required caps.
"What's the big deal? That's just his usual price," Seventeen interjected with absolutely no ulterior motive.
"Pfft, no it's not!" she replied with a wave of her hoof at his ignorance. "It's usually seventy-five caps. He's giving me a huge discount!"
Blueline groaned quietly.
"Oh, then no wonder you're so excited. What a great guy, huh?" Seventeen deadpanned, giving Blueline a sidelong stare.
"He is! If I wasn't afraid I'd mess up his suit, I'd fly over the table and hug him!" Poppy agreed as the reality of the situation managed to fly over the only pegasus in the room.
"Thank you for the consideration ma'am." Blueline made a show of adjusting his tie again. The printer finished with the last page and announced it with a loud beep. He picked up the stack and flipped through it to make sure the pages were correctly ordered.
Once he had ensured everything was right where it belonged, he carefully straightened the stack and clamped it between two boards with the side intended to be the book's spine sticking out. Layered applications of Wonderglue and gauze topped off with a covering of duct tape made quick work of the binding, and given the remarkable properties of the adhesive, there was all of second to wait for it to dry.
"There you go, still warm even."
"It is! This is as fresh as a book can possibly be!" Poppy rubbed her cheek against the newly made paperback adoringly, finding it every bit as warm as Blueline had suggested. "Thanks again, Blueline!"
"My pleasure," he answered as she hovered out the door using her forelegs to lovingly hug her new purchase, leaving Seventeen and Blueline alone again.
"So... eight copies, huh?" Seventeen asked smugly with an accompanying grin.
"Hrm." Blueline looked down at the meager pile of caps on the table, then swept half of them back into his bag. This immediately smacked the smug grin off the other stallion's now quite aghast face. "That ought to do it."
"What the fuck, Blueline?!"
"Hey now, c'mon Seventeen. I'm giving you a bargain too, just like her! I'm only charging you thirty or so caps for mouthing off to my customers in my own store. See, usually I don't pay anything to assholes that do that, so you might consider being a bit more grateful." He ejected the holotape from his terminal and placed it back on the counter. The relevant contents had already been copied and it was no longer a bargaining chip to be kept.
"I can't buy a week's worth of food and Radaway with thirty caps!" Seventeen countered, hopping up to place his forelegs on the counter.
"Not my problem. Get off my counter, or you're leaving with fifteen instead."
...
Seventeen begrudgingly got down off Blueline's counter, teeth clenched as his insides practically smoldered.
"Good boy."
"Fuck you. I don't have to put up with this," Seventeen spat back at him in an ill considered outburst.
"You don't? Why’s that?” Blueline snorted in amusement. “What are you going to do besides put up with this?" he asked while poorly containing his laughter.
"..." Seventeen silently started to reach for his slashed pay, only for his employer's hoof to intercept his own and pin it to the counter.
"No no no, you're not leaving here without explaining exactly what other kind of work you can even get in this town. I'm really curious, because last time I checked, everypony here hated you so fucking much that the only way you can come in to get drinking water is with the pass I made you. I mean, it's so bad that I can't even have your name anywhere in my periodical, because Midwall ponies would catch wind of it, and then run me the fuck out of town. So tell me, in detail, what you're going to do instead of putting up with this," Blueline repeated at length, chuckling at him.
"..."
"Guess you think twenty is enough then?"
"Nothing, okay?!" Seventeen finally succumbed. "You can do literally anything you want to me, and I can't do a thing about it," he admitted further with all the weakened spite he could muster.
"And maybe after a week spent starving and glowing, you'll remember that a little better, you miserable fucking excuse for a stallion." Blueline let go of his hoof, and Seventeen scrambled to grab away his pathetic payment before it could get even more pathetic. "Next time, just get here early, and keep your mouth shut. Then you'll get to walk away with sixty-five caps like normal, and this'll all be water under the bridge."
"Why did you bother lying in the first place?" Seventeen asked bitterly.
"Because time is money, and I've got better shit to do than have this conversation. Now, again, get the fuck out of my store," he concluded while pointing towards the door to Seventeen's left. The thoroughly brow beaten stallion glanced down into his mostly empty bag of caps, sighed, and then did as instructed without uttering another word.
*** *** ***
'Outwall' was a name steeped in sarcasm, as it implied a district existing in a space where no district was to be found. Instead, Outwall was merely the sum of space between Midwall and the perimeter fence meant to delay would be aggressors long enough for the automated turrets atop Midwall's wall to politely show them the door. It was a ten foot high barrier, made out of chain link with interwoven razor barbed wire, and topped with lead pipes that had been sharpened to a point and then left out in the weather to rust. The rust had the dual benefits of both producing many infected wounds in particularly enthusiastic intruders, and also allowed the occasional bits of blood to blend in well enough that one was not likely to notice them.
While there was actually a gate to this fence, it was less of an actual checkpoint and more an assignment to scare members of the SHS into compliance. During the odd period of having no trouble makers in SHS to punish, it also served as a dandy way to haze new recruits as a wonderful welcome to the team.
The only bit of Outwall that was developed was a stretch of beaten path that one might generously call a road between the fence gate and Midwall checkpoint. To the sides of this path, a number of enterprising scavvers had pieced together stores catering to the needs of passing caravans. The Starlight Hill council had never approved the building of such stores, but they seemed to keep the caravans happy, and so they were left to do as they pleased… to a point. It also helped that any caps they made usually wound up being traded into Midwall, which was enough to ensure that any wasters aspiring to cause the shops of Outwall Road any trouble usually found themselves on the wrong end of an unexpected turret malfunction.
The rest of the un-district was formed of several groupings of tents. The less business savvy scavvers slept there when they were not out finding bits and bobs to sell to the businesses of Outwall Road, which were in turn sold to the caravans, who then sold them to Midwall, saving them the trouble of scavenging for themselves. Much like the shops, the stray scavvers were tolerated because of their indirect usefulness to Midwall, combined with the fact that most of them were too downtrodden and exhausted to be much of a threat anyway.
So it was that nopony batted an eyelash at the sight of a gray unicorn stallion sitting outside of the Starlight Serials building, quietly swearing at himself as a flask hovered in front of him.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? Ooooh yeah, you've got so many fucking options in this town don't you, moron?" He took another swig from his metal flask. It was either his fourth or his third... or fifth. He had already lost count. "Why do you keep even talking to ponies? It never ends well. Just shut the fuck up for once in your life. Next week just walk in there, give him the holotape, take the caps, and leave. Is that so complicated, you dumb shit?" he chastised himself while tapping his forehead in some bid to physically shove the lesson into his thick skull.
Seventeen sighed and gazed longingly with exhausted eyes at the floating flask. After much hesitation, he managed to screw the top back on and levitate it back into his saddlebag. "You can get shit faced when you get home," he reminded himself as he got back to his hooves. His effort was immediately rendered moot by the sudden presence of a gust of wind and a pair of blue eyes uncomfortably close to him.
It should be noted that a certain young mare's claims of being the only pegasus around, while not necessarily completely correct, were at least not much of an exaggeration. As such, the pony populace of Starlight Hill, and the Radscythe at large, were woefully unaccustomed to the idea of other ponies being able to literally drop right out of the sky.
"Hi I'm Poppy, what's your name?!"
That same mare also had a bad habit of completely failing to take into account any of the above.
"FUCKING FUCKETY FUCK," Seventeen exclaimed as he reared up in shock and stumbled backward against the wall with forelegs flailing defensively.
"Oh! Um... I hope you're just surprised, but if that is your actual name would you mind if I called you 'Ducking Duckety Duck' instead? Or maybe just 'Ducky' for short?" she asked with ears lowered while backing away a step.
The stallion remained on his back hooves against the wall for a couple more seconds until he was completely sure Poppy was not a local trying to sink a knife between his ribs and run off with his caps. He dropped back down to all fours, glanced down his muzzle at his off kilter glasses, and nudged them back into place while aiming a severe frown in her direction. "Good news then, that's not my name," he answered brusquely as he stepped past her and toward the checkpoint.
"Oh, thank goodness! So what is your name then?" She turned and caught up at a brisk trot.
"And why would I tell you that?" he asked in return before looking ahead and groaning at the amount of ponies that were lined up waiting to be let in.
"I told you my name, so it's only polite to tell me yours," Poppy explained and then waited, beaming expectantly.
"Oh. Is that how that works? So if somepony came up to you saying they were there to kill a mare named Poppy, told you their name, then asked yours, you'd tell them?" he inquired snidely as he took his place in line.
"Well, wouldn't the pony know what I looked like if they were there to kill me?" Poppy stood beside him, sidestepping as needed as the queue advanced bit by bit.
He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it, brow furrowing briefly before he took another go at it. "I mean… okay... I guess... but that’s not the point. Are you obligated to tell the pony your name just because they gave you theirs first?"
"Why do they only have my name though?"
"Are you going to tell the pony your name or not?!" he repeated.
"How is that anything like what we're doing now? Do you think I'm here to kill you? Because I'm not," she assured him.
"Okay listen, I don't have to tell you my name, and I don't want to, so I'm not. Glad we got that cleared up," he said decisively.
"Hope you got your papers Seventeen, or else we'll be having some fun tossing you over the fence," an attendant SHS unicorn mare sneered as they reached the head of the line. "Might not quite make it over the spikes this time... or will we? Who knows!"
"Oh that's your name, neat!" Poppy chirped victoriously.
"Fucking Celestia torch it," he swore under his breath while presenting the courier pass. The guard took it, gave it a glance over, and then sighed in disappointment.
"Alright Seventeen, in accordance with Starlight Hill's agreement with The Moonlight Express, you're entitled to an hour in Midwall to trade ,and a gallon of drinking water for the road. But if you're not back here and headed out after that, we're coming for you. Understood?"
"Yes ma'am," he complied. The guard levitated the pass back to him, but before he could grab it with his magic, a cream colored hoof snatched it out of the air. "Hey!"
"Huh... it says here that your name is Chapter Break," she managed to read before a light blue, rather irritated looking magical aura reclaimed the pass. "Why is everypony calling you Seventeen?"
"That is none of your business, now leave me alone," he scowled as he stepped through the checkpoint.
The SHS unicorn mare that had inspected his pass smirked, and gave a silent nod to her earth pony mare partner who knowingly returned the grin. As Seventeen passed her, the other mare stuck her hoof out and tripped him up at an opportune moment. The stallion let out an exclamation and stumbled forward a few steps, but before he could regain his balance a push from a magical aura that flared up and disappeared in the blink of an eye sent him falling to the ground.
"Oh no!" Poppy gasped as she galloped over with worry, but then glanced down and noticed that his flank was momentarily uncovered. His cutie mark was nothing more than the letters XVII.
He silently yanked his rag coat and saddlebags back into place with his magic, and took care to not look back at the guards who were enjoying a brief chuckle at his expense. Best not to give them any excuses.
"Get a move on, Seventeen. Tick tock," the earth pony mare reminded him.
"Are you okay?" Poppy asked as she held out a hoof to help him up, only to have it swatted away as he stood up on his own.
"I'm just dandy, go away. I've got an hour to do a week's worth of trading," he said dismissively, resuming his trip into Midwall.
She continued to not listen and trot along following behind him. "So, Chapter Break... you mind if I call you Chappy?"
"Yes. I mind. A lot.”
"What's with the Roaman numerals? Do you have zebra ancestry?"
"I don't know."
"Okay... what does it mean though? It's just a number."
He stopped unexpectedly, causing her to bump into him as he looked back at her. "What do you want?"
"Wh... what do you mean, Chappy? I just wanted to make friends with this interesting new stallion I'd just met, that's all," she answered, eyes diverting momentarily.
"Back at Blueline’s shop you shoved me out of the way and then took off with your book. The only reason you even noticed me was because Blueline pointed me out. Then suddenly you come back because, out of the blue, you wanted to be friends? Bullshit. What do you want?" He turned round to stare her down.
"I uh... it's just... I..." Poppy sighed and drooped slightly in defeat. "Fine... you caught me." She opened her saddlebag and pulled out the new volume of Starlight Serials. After opening it to the table of contents page, she turned it toward him and pointed to the entry at the very bottom. "Blueline said he took the story you delivered today, and added it to this volume as the last one. That story is chapter 33 of 'Darkest Dawn' by Silken Tome, and she is my favorite author ever. So I put two and two together, and realized that you might have met my favorite author ever, and might be able to tell me where she lives!" she explained, subconsciously beginning to hover in place in her excitement.
Chapter Break opened his mouth in preparation to deny everything. The excuse that he was just given packages by his boss sounded plausible enough in his head.
"I mean, I'd understand if you don't though. I figured it was a possibility that you were just given packages to deliver with no questions asked," she added.
Chapter Break closed his mouth in preparation to nod in agreement. A sense of relief washed over him as he realized she might be out of his mane for good in a mere few moments.
"So that's why I memorized the employee number on your courier pass! That way, even if you didn't know, I could take your number to The Starlight Express central hub myself to ask about the source of the package! But that would take a lot longer, so I came back to ask you'd met her yourself, just in case," she concluded.
Chapter Break opened his eyes as wide as could be, unprepared for the brief bout of sheer terror that had him grab hold of her shoulders and pull her down to the ground. "NO!"
She stared at him in surprise, as did a few nearby Midwall residents. He looked around awkwardly, then let go of her and backed away with a forced polite smile that convinced the onlookers to resume going about their business.
"I mean... no. That won't be necessary. I have met her, and there is no need to waste time contacting the central hub about me," he clarified as calmly as he could manage.
His world instantly became a very loud, very cream colored, and very constrictive one as he was struck by a flying hug from an overjoyed, squealing pegasus mare. It was surprising the amount of force she was able to muster with such a short distance, certainly more than enough to knock Chapter Break off his hooves.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE IT OH MY GOSH THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!" her outburst continued as she nuzzled him.
"Get off me!" Chapter snarled as he made a futile effort to pry her off of him with his magic. After a few moments she seemed to get a hold of herself again and let the stallion up, containing the last of her outburst behind a hoof as she trotted in place some more.
"Okay, okay, sorry! Too excited!" she apologized breathlessly. "Now, tell me where she lives."
He grunted as he got back up. "What? Do you really think she'd want to keep paying me to do this if I tell ponies where she lives?"
"You don't understand though, I'm her number one fan! How could she not want to talk to her number one faaan?!" she implored with big dewy eyes.
"I could think of a few reasons," he grumbled to himself under his breath while brushing bits of dirt off his saddlebag.
"What was that?" she asked, leaning in closer.
"Nothing. Look, it's a moot point anyway because... she, uh... she hands me the holodisk at a public meeting place. I don't know exactly where she lives, okay?" he answered, hoping against hope that it would be enough to placate her as he started toward the market.
She was not.
"That still works though! I can come along with you for the trip, and next time you meet up with her I can come with you! I get to meet her, she gets to keep her privacy, and you get to keep your job."
Worse yet, she was coming up with progressively more reasonable solutions!
"Can we talk about this later? You heard the guards. I have an hour to refill on water, buy a Radaway and... then have it for dinner I guess," he groaned morosely as they rounded a corner, bringing the unmistakable sight of the Critical Chemicals shop into view. The modified neon sign hanging over the entrance portrayed a mare in stable barding who, over the course of three frames, checked the flow of the syringes held in each of her front hooves before winking with a grin at any would-be customers.
"Um, do you... usually have Radaway for dinner?" she inquired with a slight raise of her eyebrow.
"Oh yeah. All the time. It's the secret ingredient in all my cooking. Really adds that kick," he deadpanned.
"Don't you get paid enough to buy food too?" She stopped him short of entering the store with a hoof laid on his shoulder. He shrugged it away.
"Usually, but not this week. Between my two options, I'd rather lose some weight instead of get cancer and slowly fucking die," he elaborated before stepping into the store with her in close pursuit.
"So you brave the Radscythe in nothing but a set of rags to get Silken Tome's holotape here on time, and they don't even pay you enough caps to live on? That's terrible!" she lamented as she trotted up to his side. "Haven't you considered getting another job?"
Chapter grunted in irritation at the question, grabbing a single packet of Radaway off the shelf and levitating it along on his way to the front counter. "Nope. There isn't one to find."
"I'm sure if you just asked around-"
"There isn't one Poppy, trust me." He set the Radaway on the counter and then emptied his bag of bottle caps. "Besides, if I took another job, then how would your precious stories get here?"
The mare behind the counter spent a moment counting them up before frowning and taking back the packet. "You're five short, pal."
"Forty caps was fine last week," he reminded her.
"Yeah, but that was last week. This week they cost forty-five caps. Now either pony up the five caps, buy something cheaper, or be on your way," she laid out his options in no uncertain terms.
"Couldn't you please give him a little bitty discount just this once, Double Dose?" Poppy asked as she once again pushed him aside, producing another grumbling sigh from him.
"You know this guy, Poppy?" Double Dose asked a bit skeptically.
"Yeah, he's my friend," she ever so eagerly proclaimed.
"Huh... would never have guessed," the other mare replied, looking Chapter up and down briefly with disdain. Still, she seemed to trust Poppy's judgment, and put the Radaway back on the counter. "Well... if it's a friend of yours, I suppose I could give a discount, just this once. Don't go telling anypony though, especially not for him."
"Thank you very much!" Her eyes shifted to Chapter, motioning happily for him to take the merchandise.
He snorted in contempt, levitated his caps back into his bag and made for the door. "We're not friends," he insisted on his exit.
Her smile morphed into a frown of frustrated determination as she briefly apologized to Double Dose and winged it after him, landing beside him in short order. "Chappy, please, I'm trying to help here."
"You're not trying to help, you’re trying to trade. You're trying to get me to owe you one, so that I'll do what you want. Plastering a nice face on that doesn't make it any different," he elaborated instead of telling her to leave again as though it would make any difference. "And stop calling me Chappy."
"I'll have you know I help ponies out here in Midwall every day, and I don't expect a thing in return!" she corrected him indignantly.
"'Out here' in Midwall? That explains a bit. You some Inwall pony trying to look better than her friends by coming out and throwing caps at us filthy peasants?" he mocked her in reply as they drew closer to his next destination at the nearest public water valve.
"What? No! I'm not one of those Inwall posers, I'm from the observatory. My mom's on the council!" she corrected him again, this time sounding genuinely insulted!
"Oh, so you're just bored then. I'm glad we can amuse you so much." He levitated his empty plastic jug out, turned the valve, and started filling it with water from the spigot. "Pretty easy to make yourself feel better by spending somepony else's caps, isn't it?"
"Oh my gosh, how can anypony be this cynical?!" she asked in disbelief with face firmly in hoof before recollecting herself for another go at it with a calming exhalation. This was truly an unprecedented encounter for her, but she was still going to make it work! "You're overthinking this way too much, Chappy. But if you have to think of it like that, just think of it as me having a vested interest in you staying healthy because you bring my stories to Blueline, okay?"
He was silent, watching the jug until it was completely filled, then turning off the valve and screwing the cap back on before stashing the jug away again. "Was being honest so hard?"
"I've been honest from the start!" she insisted with a stomp of her hoof. "You just twist everything I say into something terrible!"
"No, I've been untwisting everything you say," he insisted as he lingered there seemingly without another destination for the moment.
"Never mind, just never mind," she acquiesced with a dismissive wave of her hoof. "If you want to do this like a trade, then fine by me. I'd like you to take me to see Silken Tome, and in exchange I'm willing to buy you supplies. Does that sound fair to you?"
"It's fair to me, yes," he admitted.
Poppy gasped as her wide eyes sparkled in joy, standing on the tips of her hooves as her wings fluttered!
"But it's not fair to Silken Tome. You have no idea how much she values her privacy," he added.
Her hooves thudded back down to the ground dejectedly, the stars gone from her eyes and her wings drooping. Still, one pony being mean and refusing to be unhelpful did not mean she was out of options.
"Fine then. If you won't help me, I'll be happy to just go straight to the Moonlight Express and get help from them instead, even if it will be way more of a hassle. Have a nice day," she said in parting before turning to leave.
The word 'shit' proceeded to pass through Chapter's mind rapidly, and with many terrified permutations as he realized the gravity of his error. His body acted ahead of his mind, and before he knew it he found a golden tail in his mouth with Poppy looking back at him in confusion with a slight blush on her face. Clearly he had her attention, but what to actually do with it was another matter he had not exactly resolved yet. He spat her tail out, for starters.
"Um... you can't do that! Because... because um... you see... if you do that..." He kept on stalling clumsily as his mind raced for something, anything to keep her from contacting the Moonlight Expres! But then he mentally stumbled upon it, and it was so simple yet so effective! Chapter stopped his stammering and then affixed an even glare on her. "Poppy, I am Silken Tome's personal courier. If you try to get her location from the Moonlight Express, I am obligated to warn her that you're coming."
Poppy's eyes shot open in genuine shock. "You wouldn't!"
Oh thank Celestia's blissfully lethal flames, she was buying it!
He wanted to sigh in relief but knew he had to keep selling it even harder.
"I would, and don't think that you being able to fly will make any difference. Even if you can zip over there faster than I ever could, your request would take at least two weeks to work its way through the bureaucrats at the central hub before they could even give you a yes or no. By then, Silken Tome will have moved elsewhere to get away from her crazy stalker, and all the trouble you'd have gone to would be for nothing!"
"That... that's not fair," she whimpered, feeling defeated enough to slump into a sitting position.
He let himself have his sigh of relief, now that it could be disguised as one of exasperation.
"Yeah, well... I guess for once in your life you're not going to get something you want, just like the rest of us. Goodbye," he said in parting as he started to hurry away. She was chewing up more of his time than he had ever imagined with this desperate desire of hers. He had little to no trust of the SHS guard's promised hour, since historically it had averaged out to maybe forty-five minutes before the guards started looking for him to escort him out. Now that he was finally free of that crazy mare's obsession he was free to do what was needed to make up for the lack of-
"Wait, wait! Chappy, stop!" Poppy piped up as she landed in front of him.
He groaned wearily. "What is it?"
"What if I offered something even better than just basic supplies? Something only I can give you?" she asked with a confident half lidded leer as she stepped closer.
Chapter’s eyes widened and he backed away a step. "Are you coming on to me?"
"Oh my gosh! No!" she blanched as her face turned positively crimson. "I'm offering to get you some fresh produce from the stable's orchard, because I'm an observatory citizen and they'd actually let me in to buy some!"
"Oh! That's what you meant by only you! Not… the other thing I thought that-"
"What kind of mare do you think I am?!" she furiously interrupted the panicking stallion.
"In my defense, you have been kind of desperate," he pointed out as he stood his ground.
"I..." She mellowed the death glare she was directing at him. "Okay... fair enough. Just as long as it is established that I am not that desperate."
"It is very established, yes."
"Good. So how about it? Will you take me to meet her if I can get you a batch of the tastiest, juiciest, most nutritious food in all of the Radscythe?" she asked again now that she was no longer blushing herself to near death.
Chapter brought a hoof up to rub his suddenly aching forehead at her continued insistence, and opened his mouth to decline yet again. But then, before the words could leave his mouth, another brilliant idea shot through his head. Perhaps it would make for awkward trips to town in the future, but he had to consider the present where he was facing down the reality of a week with no food or Radaway, and the clock was ticking! He made a show of silently reconsidering the offer and then reluctantly nodded. "That sounds like a fair deal actually. I'm sure Silken Tome would understand."
To the ground he went again.
"AAAAAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!" Poppy shrieked in merriment as she crushed him in another hug and nuzzled him adamantly. He faked another smile and awkwardly patted her on the head until she released him and jumped back to her hooves. "Okay, stay right here! I know you don't have long so I'll try to be as fast as I can! Between picking them and filling out forms it'll be about twenty or thirty minutes."
"That sounds perfect, get goin'!" Chapter encouraged while still laid out on the cobblestone.
"Aye, Chappy!" she beamed as she galloped back toward Inwall giggling in merriment!
He stood up and remained in that spot for a while longer. When he was absolutely certain she was well and truly gone, he promptly abandoned his post. Chapter Break made his way back to the market row, and proceeded to window-shop, keeping an eye on the ponies milling around him going about their day. When the opportune moment came, and nopony was paying him any attention, he quickly snuck behind the Starlight Stockpile store. Fortunately, neither the old granny or her granddaughter were out back, and his luck held as he lightly pressed his ear to the back door and heard nopony in the back store room either.
"Guess we're digging into the bobby pin bargain bin again this week," he muttered to himself as he levitated out a flat head screwdriver and a small bundle of bobby pins tied together with a string.
*** *** ***
"Just take the darn hint already, I'm not interested!" Poppy grumbled after the SHS guard at the observatory checkpoint had to stop yet another pony with political aspirations that would not leave her alone. She could not believe the nerve of some ponies! Was doing as requested and leaving somepony alone so difficult?!
Though Poppy was quite intent on getting the produce that would buy her way to the meet and greet of her life, she immediately felt tension in the air as she approached. Her suspicions were confirmed when she entered the observatory. The ground level was being used as a staging area for a squad to assemble and gear up, and the expressions on the guard's faces ran the gamut from worried to angry as they pulled on their equipment.
"Frontline? What's going on?" she asked as she stepped aside from the main path to stay out of everypony’s way.
"Lead Shoe radioed in two minutes ago while patrolling Midwall. He found Night Stick and Clip Clop dead in an alley with all their gear stripped. The captain doubled up patrols and ordered a squad assembled specifically to track down and bring in whoever did this," the door guard explained.
"That's awful!" Poppy whimpered. "Officer Clip Clop was doing so well after that drug smuggling bust too."
"What's making it worse is that the Starlight council voted to keep the gates open. Nevermind keeping a murderer from getting away untouched, apparently keeping the caravans moving is far more important," he added, which certainly explained the anger she could feel in the room. "So we just have to get out there as fast as we can, and hope."
"That's even more awful! I'm sorry Frontline. I'm sure mom voted against it," she assured him with a gentle hug. "Plus if daddy were still captain he would definitely have ignored that order."
"He sure would've, Poppy," he replied while giving her a pat on the back. "But don't worry about it. Nopony else is going to get hurt on our watch today. You can count on it."
"I know I can. Good luck," she said with an assuring grin in parting before heading deeper into the building. The news of two officers dying was most definitely a blow to her mood, but she had to keep her head up and just trust in SHS to take care of the problem like they always did. She hoped those two rookies that had been giving Closeout a hard time were alright. A double equicide so soon after joining the force would certainly make for a rough introduction for them!
The decision to keep the caravan ponies moving instead of locking the place down until the perpetrator was found was something she disagreed with, but she at least understood the reasoning on some level. She was nowhere near well versed on the subject, but thanks to her mother's position on the council she was always in a position to overhear quite a few things.
If what Poppy had heard was correct, Starlight Hill had been getting even more business after the unfortunate abandoning of a large farming settlement further to the east a few months prior. Caravans had been coming and going with such frequency that a lock down of even half a day would mean tens of thousands of caps worth of business lost. More caps in Starlight Hill meant things improved for everypony that lived there, so she gave the council the benefit of the doubt and assumed they had some kind of greater good in mind, even if she would not have voted for it herself. Maybe if business kept up, Outwall could pull itself out of poverty and build its own proper wall!
"What would the next district be called though?" she mused aloud as she trotted along. "Outerwall I guess... then what, Outestwall? Could we make an Outerestwall after that or would we have to start thinking of different things to name districts after?"
"Nah, the council would probably just keep adding more '-est's to the end," remarked one of the SHS officers guarding the outermost orchard security door, having apparently been in earshot.
Poppy blushed slightly at being overheard but let out a pleasant chuckle as she approached the two mares. "Yeah, they probably would!" She adopted a more somber expression afterward. "I'm sorry to hear about Clip Clop and Night Stick. Did either of you know them?"
"I mostly just remember having to save Clip Clop's dumb ass after he got himself taken hostage," one mare replied glibly.
"And Night Stick was always a loner. Always told him getting too far from his backup was going to get him killed. Apparently I was right," the other added with a sigh. "So what do you need, Pops?"
"I'm after some fruit and veggies from the orchard. I'm trading them to somepony for a favor," Poppy replied.
"Got the caps to pay for 'em?"
"Yepperoni!" She pulled out her bag of money with her mouth and gave it a good shake to let them hear it was still heavy with caps.
"Alright then, go on through." Both officers simultaneously held up their badges to a pair of scanners. Satisfied with the presented credentials, the door beeped and let out a few metallic clanks from inside as the mechanisms unlocked. The two mares then took hold of a large handle on the side and grunted with the effort of pulling it with enough force to slowly swing the door open. "Elevator's down right now, so watch that first step," she advised.
"Ooh, neat! Thank you!" Poppy answered in appreciation as she cantered past.
Beyond the door there was a spiral staircase that led a ways down into Starlight Hill's namesake hill. After a roughly fifty foot descent it deposited a pony into a large chamber surrounding an enormous elevator. Had the elevator been in its normal raised position, one would see a gear shaped metal platform with a large yellow '50' painted on its surface. With the platform far, far down below, it left nothing but a gaping chasm surrounded by a metal railing that had been installed after the mechanism responsible for moving the safety cover had broken. Adding in the railing and relying on ponies to not be idiots had been a much simpler fix than to repair the old world Stable-Tec machinery.
For a unicorn or earth pony, the lack of a platform would have meant being doomed to stand there until it was brought back up again. But Poppy and her wings could freely hover down to the bottom in complete safety.
'Could' was a key word in that sentiment.
"WEEEEEE!" Poppy cheered as she reveled in the sensation of the air whipping past her mane as she dove her way down the elevator shaft in free fall. If her mother was not going to let her fly as she pleased, she would take any chance she could get to satisfy those rarely indulged pegasus urges.
As she neared the bottom, her wings flared out and gave a few strong flaps that righted her body in a sharp upward turn, then hovered gracefully down to the floor to land between two crates filled with freshly picked Stable 50 orchard produce. While it was true that those were fresh, she had promised the freshest, and as far as she was concerned that meant freshly hoof picked. She crossed the underground chamber and entered through the open stable door. From there it was a quick trip through the entryway, into the atrium, down the stairs past security, and then down another hallway into the orchard.
The stable was still in fairly decent condition, although nopony had lived there since far before Poppy had even been born. She still spotted a few maintenance ponies going about their duties keeping the important systems in working order, and making sure the place did not rust away. Most of the living space had been repurposed for storage of valuable merchandise and equipment, including the heavy gear and weaponry that SHS would fall back to in a real emergency. Fortunately, Poppy had yet to ever see them need to resort to such things, and hoped to make it through life without that ever changing.
The two main components of Stable 50 that had remained absolutely vital over the centuries were the water talisman that kept Starlight Hill well stocked with rad free water, and the orchard that had been responsible for the town's immense wealth.
According to the old stories, the ponies of Stable 50 had spent nearly one-hundred years eating nothing but apples and recycled nutrient wafers. When Overmare Beryl Blossom had elected to open the stable, they found themselves at a competitive trade advantage due to having a generous surplus of food production. This advantage only became more pronounced as they traded for rare seeds that had been lucky enough to avoid the taint of balefire radiation, increasing their variety of crops bit by bit as the new plants flourished in such a safe environment.
Eventually, demand became so great that they had to tear through the original stable walls, thankfully being intelligent enough to leave the main supports in place, and dig out new underground chambers to expand their output. After several such expansions, Stable 50 felt more like a mere attachment to the orchard rather than the source of it.
The variety of untainted old world produce and the sheer size of the operation were only two of the pillars that held up the success of Starlight Hill though. The third was a workforce of salvaged Handy robots working day and night. Thanks to a few technically gifted ponies, they even supervised and maintained themselves, only requiring a steady supply of scrap metal and replacement parts alongside the occasional change in orders that was handed down from the council.
Such a feat had actually proven far simpler to accomplish than one might have thought. Instead of reprogramming every single Handy robot, they only needed to modify a few of them with more advanced cognitive processors capable of organizing and repairing the numerous drones that just mindlessly followed orders. These command bots had each been given their own particular paintjob to make them instantly stand out from the rest of the plain gray drones, and since they were the only ones that would interact with ponies, they had likewise each been given their own distinct personality interfaces.
"Poppy, darling, good to see you! We were expecting you after hearing you plummeting down the elevator shaft again," a white painted command Handy with a sophisticated feminine voice module greeted as she diverted from her task and floated over. "To what do we owe the pleasure?"
"Hello to you too, Supervisor White. I'm down here to hoof pick some fresh produce to trade for a favor. I hope it's a good time for it?" she asked hopefully.
"Hrm..." the robot hummed contemplatively, one of her eyes turning back to the other Handy bots at work. "Well we are in the middle of a harvest, so you would be temporarily in the way of the drones for a few moments, but it shouldn't make for too much of a disruption. I assume you have the caps to pay for them?"
"Right here in my saddlebag," Poppy assured her.
"Wonderful," she replied before moving closer and bringing a claw up to her 'mouth' to speak further at a conspiratory whisper. "I'd give them to you for free for being such a darling, but Supervisor Orange would put up such a fuss over it."
"Ah heard that!" another feminine, but deeper and more twangy voice modulator sounded from across the orchard.
"Case in point," White said with a sigh before turning towards Orange. "You heard her Orange, she is paying her way, as is proper. You've no need to worry."
"Good. Ah don't gotta remind ya how Purple'll bust a gasket if the accounts are off by even one dang ol' cap!" Orange shouted back.
"And yet you oddly persist in doing so," White snarked before turning back to Poppy. "Carry on darling, and have a lovely day."
"Thanks, you too!" Poppy cantered past her toward her favorite sections of the orchard, drones stopping or moving aside as needed. She still had to hurry!
*** *** ***
There were two basic tenets to going 'shopping' that he held as sacred.
The first was obviously to not get caught 'shopping'.
The second, somewhat less obvious tenet was to go 'shopping' at multiple stores, and only 'purchase' one or two items from each. If a pony noticed an entire shelf of inventory suddenly having gone missing, it would throw up rather a lot of red flags. If only one or two small things went missing, the average pony was likely to just look around for them for a few minutes before scratching their head and shrugging it off as being merely misplaced or miscounted.
These were usually easy to accomplish, but for some reason SHS had been out in force, hellbent on making the former damned near impossible. After far more close calls than he was comfortable with, Chapter was finally back at the checkpoint in the line to exit, much to the obvious approval of the guards who would not have to track him down. Usually they were all for trying to make good on their threat of attempting to toss him over the spike covered Outwall fence, but it seemed like they had other priorities on such a hectic day.
They were also searching everypony's bags.
He stood there trying to look as stoic as he possibly could, but that only made him worry that he looked suspiciously stoic, which would only draw more attention to him! Maybe something more casual was a better way to blend in? But what degree of casualness would work? It was the same problem again! Plus if he looked too casual they might think he was on something!
He looked around at the ponies around him to read their expressions. They were mostly bored. Could he fake bored sufficiently, especially right then? Maybe he should just step out of line and go pay Welded Wire a visit. He only had forty caps to his name but it had to be cheap to get groceries out, especially compared to-
"Well look who's early for once, and nervous as shit!" one of the mares taunted as he reached the front of the line without even realizing it, eliciting a momentary dumbfounded expression not entirely unlike a deer caught in a pair of peculiarly advanced headlights somehow capable of impaling it on a fence. "Open up your bags or we open 'em for ya, Seventeen."
There was nothing for it. If he ran or refused the search he would just get the tar beaten out of him and tossed into a cell anyway. They knew he was there to stock up, so a saddlebag full of old world food boxes and a couple packets of Radaway would not look suspicious on its own... but then he had no idea what SHS was so riled up about either. He could be precisely the pony they were looking for in a crackdown on 'shopping' after one too many missing Fancy Buck snack cakes had served as the straw that broke the camel's back!
Chapter mentally steeled himself for the horrible outcome of this search as he obediently opened his saddlebags, gulping nervously.
Each mare took a saddlebag and proceeded to rifle through it. When they did not immediately beat him into the ground for his 'purchases' he started to dare let himself feel a tiny bit of relief, as they would have immediately noticed had that been what they were looking for. His relief was momentarily strangled by renewed anxieties as the unicorn mare levitated his pistol in front of him.
"What's this?"
"It's mine, for self defense," he answered quickly.
"Yeah, it's also standard issue for all SHS officers," she countered as she turned the gun this way and that, giving it a thorough inspection.
"Those 10 millimeters are kind of all over the Radscythe though," the earth pony mare pointed out, instantly becoming Chapter's favorite mare of the day despite the earlier impaling threats.
"This one's way too much of a rusted piece of scrap to be one of ours too," the unicorn added, turning up her nose as she partially pulled back the slide to glance into the currently empty chamber. "Still… gonna run the number anyway, juuust in case." The earth pony mare stood in front of Chapter Break to make it absolutely clear he was not yet free to go as the unicorn took a seat and started typing the serial number into her Pip-Buck. "532-52749-32518... no match. Alright Seventeen, you're clear. Hit the road."
He was all too happy to oblige and make a beeline for the Outwall fence gate at that awkward pace where a trot was not quite fast enough, but a gallop would probably arouse more suspicion than it was worth. But his pace was irrelevant. He had already skyrocketed to the maximum level of suspicion he could possibly hold without even knowing it, only the one holding that suspicion was not an SHS guard. She was currently perched on the very tip top of the observatory quietly fuming as she watched him leave town.
Poppy had run herself ragged getting just the right collection of fruits and vegetables from the orchard before winging it back up the elevator shaft and back to Midwall, only to find Chapter Break was nowhere to be seen. There had been no mistaking it. She had been ditched, and his entire offer had been a lie just to get her to leave! Nopony had ever snubbed her like that, nopony ever! Not only was she more determined than ever, but now it was personal!
Once she had realized she had been conned, she had ignored her mother's wishes and flown straight to the top of the observatory where she would have a commanding view of the entire town. But in the end, she only had to watch one part of it that she knew Chappy would have to pass through on his way out, and her stakeout had paid off!
She would get to meet Silken Tome, she would shake her hoof, she would have a wonderful time talking to her, and then she would get the autograph of her dreams before laughing in Chapter Break's big dumb stupid meanie face!
If he was going to be all sneaky about this, then two could play at that game. It would not even be fair. She had pretty much won this sneak-off the moment she had been born. Poppy took to the sky again with a sly smirk.
*** *** ***
Finally, it was over! He had his food for the week, two new packets of Radaway, a freshly topped off supply of drinking water, and was not currently in a jail cell. He even had caps left over from buying a fresh bottle of sanity to keep his flask well stocked. The one thing he never 'purchased' was booze, because no matter how little of it went missing, somepony would definitely notice.
It was not his preferred Neighmeson, but he could tolerate any kind of swill as long as it got the job done. Speaking of getting the job done, the swigs outside of Starlight Serials and the additional two, or three, or four, or however many he had taken outside the gate in celebration of his continuing freedom were starting to catch up with him, and life felt a little better.
But by far the best thing of all right then was the lack of even a single pegasus in sight!
The pegasus that was out of sight alighted on a thick tree branch overhead as the unicorn below kept going along on his leisurely pace through the previously long dead wood that was only now showing signs of green unrelated to balefire. Several curious crows joined her but were ignored as she kept her eyes squarely on her quarry.
Poppy had been tailing him ever since he had strolled out of Midwall district, and even though things were proceeding as smoothly as she had hoped, she had failed to take her lack of flight conditioning into account. All things considered though, if slightly sore wing muscles were the worst complication she ran into in the course of her little plot, then she was going to count it as a win. Besides, Chapter having taken a turn into the woods had given her ample perching spots to rest up for a few moments. Everything was going to plan, and the smug satisfaction radiating off of her face was palpable.
Unicorns -- they never see that follow-you-from-above-where-you're-not-in-the-habit-of-looking trick coming.
"The hay is this stuff anyway?" he asked himself with a mumble as he examined his flask hovering at his side, as though it would somehow detect the brand of alcohol inside. The small bottle he had drained into his flask and tossed away had indeed had a label, but he could not remember what it had said for the life of him. "Like uh... 'wind' something... was it 'wild'? It was definitely a W word."
He stopped to concentrate. His muzzle scrunched, his eyes closed, and his mouth hung partly open due to the sheer might of his concentration!
"Hwuuuuh-CHOO!"
He may also have just been sneezing.
"Bless you."
"Thanks," he replied with a sniff. "I swear, if I caught something back there I'm going to-..."
Chapter looked over his shoulder and upward to see a cream colored pegasus sitting on a branch, both hooves clamped over her mouth and eyes wide open in shock at her own idiocy. Poppy glanced at one of the crows perched next to her and then uncovered her mouth. "Um... caw?" Following this she let out a yelp of surprise as she was magically yanked down off the branch by her tail and fell to the ground below right on her backside. "Oooowww," she whined as she rubbed the sore spot on her rump.
"What is wrong with you?" Chapter asked quite rhetorically as he advanced with his pistol drawn.
"I should be asking you that! You promised you would stay put until I got back, and here I only find you after that by perching on top of the observatory and watching the checkpoint!" she retorted. "And put that gun away, we both know you're not going to shoot me! You'd be in enough trouble if I just told SHS about you yanking me out of that tree!"
He grunted in annoyance while keeping the pistol at his side. "Tell me, at what point did I promise any of that?"
"What do you mean? You promised right before I left to buy this for you!" She opened her saddlepack, showing off the variety of fruits and vegetables that now filled it.
"No I didn't. I said it sounded like a fair deal, that I was sure Silken Tome would understand, and that it sounded perfect. At no point did I agree to anything you said, or promise to do anything. You just assumed as much," he pointed out.
"Oh duck that! You knew exactly how literally anypony would interpret that when you said it!"
"Um...'duck' that?"
"Duck it!" Poppy repeated with a stomp of her hoof.
"Holy shit. Does your mommy not let you use naughty language or something?" Chapter laughed mockingly.
"Don't change the subject!" she barked with a slight flush on her cheeks. "You did promise, you do owe me, and you are going to do good on that by taking me to see Silken Tome!"
"No. I'm not taking you to see Silken Tome. Keep your food, go home, and leave me alone you spoiled, crazy bitch," he dismissed her as he got back on his way.
She gasped incredulously as she galloped up next to him. "I am not a bi- ...witch!"
"You're right. I'm sorry. It was really insensitive of me to not ask if you preferred 'cunt' instead," he replied flippantly.
Poppy hopped in front of him and scowled angrily. "I dare you to say that again."
He made a show of inhaling and bringing his face closer. "Cuuuuuuuuuuuun-tuh," he hissed before stepping around her as she waved away the smell of whiskey from his breath with a scrunched up muzzle.
"That is it! The deal's off! You don't get any food, and I'm still following you anyway! I tried being nice, but you just had to go and be mean for no good reason, and now you're going to pay for it! When we get to Silken Tome, I am demanding she fire you immediately!" Poppy seethed with indignation as she followed behind him. Chapter only started laughing. "What is so funny?!"
"I'll tell you later," he answered, clearly unworried about that particular threat as he let out a last few snickers.
Even though the booze was still working its magic, he still had the good sense to be quietly worried about the situation in general. She was right to call his bluff on the gun, and because she was an observatory citizen he could not so much as lay a hoof on her without SHS hunting him down, no matter how far out of town he fled. But he could not just let her follow him back home either.
He briefly considered passing his hold in the ground off as some kind of checkpoint, but then she would likely either blab about it to some other actual courier, or obsessively check the place over and over until his continued presence there became too unusual to keep up the act. If she uncovered how fake his courier pass was, and he could no longer fake his way past the Starlight Hill checkpoints, he was doomed. His finances were already barely keeping him fed and rad free. They could not buy water for him too, and even though his 'purchasing' ability had seen him through so far, he highly doubted he'd be able to sneak past the guards and fill a gallon jug before slipping out undetected.
If things got to that point he may as well go all out and plot to steal Stable 50's water talisman. He would either get all the water he would ever need and get to hear about a bunch of ponies he hated dying of thirst, or get caught and thrown in a cell where they would at least feed him.
They could also just kill him too.
Chapter did not totally hate the idea.
"Why don't you like me?" Poppy asked, breaking him out of his ponderings.
"Are... are you serious?"
"I am totally serious! I'm the nicest, prettiest mare I know, and all I'm asking is that you just put up with me for one trip. What's so bad about me that you won't do that? How could you not like me?" she asked in earnest, cantering for a moment to catch up with him.
"Holy shit... I might have had some grudging respect for you if you'd kept up the whole 'I am the fucking empress and you will do as I command' act, because that would have at least been honest. But this? You will do literally everything in your power except for respecting somepony else's wishes when they tell you 'no,' but then ask why they don't like you? I don't like you because that. You're forcing me to lead you to Silken Tome against my will, because fuck me I guess, but also poor Poppy because Chapter Break won't enjoy her divine presence and give her compliments? Fuck you," he spat back bitterly before taking another sip of sanity.
"Maybe if you drank less of that nasty stuff you'd be less nasty yourself," she growled in reply. "And for your information, you are the first pony to have any issues with fulfilling my reasonable requests of them! Everypony else has been happy to help!"
"Yeah, and I'm sure the fact that you’re the daughter of a council pony had nothing to do with that," he said with a roll of his eyes. "I don't know what your version of 'nice' means," he continued, using the levitating gun and flask to make accompanying air quotes, "but the version most of us use doesn't include a loophole where it's okay to turn into a spoiled bitch if somepony doesn't give you what you want."
"Don't call me a witch!" she repeated, loudly.
Chapter snorted in further amusement. "What's the problem? I didn't call you a witch, I called you a bitch! But I apologize anyway, because I already forgot that you prefer cun-"
"Oh my gosh, stop!" Poppy cut him off with a hoof on his muzzle before he could scandalize her pure ears any further. "If this is what talking to you is like, I'm fine just walking and not talking!"
"Finally," he grumbled as they settled back into silence.
They were approaching the turn off of the main road that would lead them to his bomb shelter hideaway. If he just kept going along the main road, it would keep Poppy away from his home, but at the cost of limiting his escape options. As hesitant as he was to consider the other choice that brought her closer, it did seem to be the more promising due the remnants of forest having much more potential. He knew his way around those woods, and she quite likely had no idea. Losing her would be far easier, and even though he would be leaving her lost and alone, she could just fly up above the recovering forest and fly straight home whenever she wanted anyway.
"Um... why are we turning?" she asked as they diverted into the woods.
"What happened to not talking?"
"I'm still going to ask simple questions, for goodness sake!" she countered.
"Fine. We're taking an easier route not a lot of ponies know about. The main road doesn't take as long, but raiders and bandits also know to hit it, and we're not exactly a fully armed caravan are we?" he explained, taking one last sip of his whiskey before putting the flask away. He then stumbled his next step but caught himself and continued onward.
Poppy could not help but notice the lack of anything he could have tripped over. She let out an irritated sigh but said nothing, figuring it was best to let it go unless he tried to drink any more.
They continued on in silence for a while, Poppy keeping a close eye on Chapter until something else caught their attention. The area ahead had a much thinner concentration of trees, the forest having been partially cut back centuries ago to make way for a cozy little neighborhood. All that remained was the occasional foundation and bits of wall that had not yet been completely destroyed. Standing watch in the road next to one of the ruins was a pair of unicorns, a mare and stallion, that had already spotted them. They both wore well polished armor plates held in place by an assortment of leather straps over form fitting black barding. Assault rifles were strapped to their sides, and each had a holstered pistol on their foreleg.
Poppy's eyes widened at the sight of such scary looking strangers, and she suddenly became all too aware that she was beyond the fence without a single SHS officer in sight. Chapter on the other hoof seemed more perturbed at the open hatch in the ancient house wreckage, and the brief glimpse of a similarly armored mare that partially emerged with a small shoebox in her hooves.
"Found his 'reading' material, still no leads on where he is though, General," the mare reported briefly before descending again. Poppy's ear twitched at the sound of her voice, and she felt her chest tighten with a sense of something being deeply wrong as she tried to place where she had heard it before.
"Thanks, but I think he found us," the other mare with a dark viridian coat and pale pink, swept back mane replied before starting to approach. It was difficult not to notice the nasty looking scar traveling diagonally across her neck and up along the side of her jaw and cheek. "Would you happen to be Seventeen?"
Much to Poppy's horror, Chapter immediately leveled his pistol at her head and switched off the safety. "Get whoever is down there out here, and leave."
The General did not react in the slightest to the threat, the bored look on her face undisturbed as she briefly moved her head slightly to the side looking at his gun. "Well, that's just rude. Do you think it's wise to be starting a fight with us right now, little buck?" she condescended.
"I'm pretty sure I'll be able to shoot first, and also I'm pretty sure whoever you've got with you doesn't want you dead. Now leave." Chapter repeated as Poppy started backing away nervously.
"Stay there and on the ground, miss. we'd rather not go skeet shooting yet," the mare immediately said in warning, causing Poppy to freeze in fear.
"Do I have to start counting?" Chapter reminded her.
"Not really, no. Command Post? Forelegs please," she requested of the stallion behind her, whose amber magic aura started leisurely drawing his sidearm.
Chapter depressed the trigger of his gun, but nothing happened. Before he could even properly recognize something was wrong, a Pip-Buck on Command Post's foreleg rapidly beeped twice prior to the aura around his gun turning green. Two shots rang out and .45 rounds tore through both of Chapter's forelegs causing him to shout out in pain and crumple to the ground bleeding. The light blue aura around his own pistol shifted to a pink hue as the general took hold of it and immediately started giving it a closer look.
"And the filly, Steel Mills?" Post asked, looking over the top of his green tinted sunglasses with a cocky smirk as a last wisp of smoke left the barrel of his gun.
"She's probably about to piss herself, so I doubt she's going anywhere," General Mills replied without even sparing the terrified, shivering pegasus a glance. "Get Lower and Pipe Wrench up here."
"Ma'am."
"What the fuck?!" Chapter gurgled through his teeth as he writhed in pain.
"I suppose I should give you credit for at least turning the safety off," she began indifferently. "Bit of advice regarding the N99 though: if the hammer isn’t back, it’s a dead giveaway that the idiot pointing a gun at you forgot to load one into the chamber." She proceeded to do what Chapter had neglected, chambering a round into his gun before making sure he stayed put by stomping a hoof down onto one of his bleeding forelegs and causing another cry of pain to rip out of his throat. "As for you, sweetheart, would you kindly take a seat until we get this all sorted out?"
Poppy sobbed, now outright crying in utter terror as she nodded in compliance and sat down.
"Good girl. Now, Seventeen, we have some business to discuss, and if I like what you have to offer there's a healing potion in it for you. Otherwise, you'll be walking this off on your own... and any supplies we found down there belong to us now, in either case," Steel Mills explained.
"Wasn't much of any worth down there aside from a terminal, unfortunately," an earth pony stallion reported as he approached alongside Command Post and another unicorn mare.
"Speak for yourself, Lower. You know how hard it is to find these so well preserved?" the less restrained unicorn mare added as she admired a foldout picture from a magazine floating in front of her, with the box she had brought out moments prior now resting on her back.
"Why the fuck would I know that?” he replied with utter disinterest.
Pipe Wrench lovingly deposited the magazine back into its box before noticing Poppy cowering a distance behind General Mills. She squinted briefly, then smiled maniacally. "Hey, General, I'm about to make your day!"
"Oh?" General Mills’ ears perked up as she looked over at the other mare.
"That filly right there? Poppy Crafts. We met her in some half dead hag's junk shop. She got all high and mighty about how she's from the observatory. Little miss 'duck off' here even bragged about how she's the daughter of a pony on the Starlight Hill council."
The morning events finally clicked into place in Poppy's head.
There had never been any threat made against the mayor, but these ponies did want to bring him harm. Lower and Pipe Wrench had killed the two officers for their gear to use as a disguise. They had used the made up threat as a pretense to ask around trying to find anypony on the inside that would be willing to help them, and apparently Chapter Break had been the stallion they eventually started seeking out.
Poppy’s blood ran even colder as she realized the true depths of her oblivious blunder.
"A council pony's daughter, you say?" General Mills turned to Poppy. The smile on her face was gentle and warm, yet somehow that made it all the more terrifying. "You're right, Pipe Wrench. That does make my day," she purred as she stepped closer to Poppy, still magically holding Chapter's gun.
Poppy let out a squeak as her fear overcame her desire to not anger these ponies and she finally took flight. She managed to get high enough to be well out of hoof's reach when three magical auras grabbed her back hooves and tail, bringing her to a halt as she desperately flapped against the efforts of the three unicorns to bring her down. Barely able to see through her own tears as she slowly started sinking down, she redoubled her efforts, flapping her wings harder than she had ever flapped before! Her descent stopped, and as her muscles burned from unprecedented exertion she started to rise, bit by precious bit. One aura relented, and then another, but the last was particularly strong and persistent! But at last she felt the magic gripping her relent, and she shot off into the sky, free as a bird again!
She had to get home fast, and-
"I'll be honest Miss Crafts, we can't do much at this point!" Steel Mills called out from the ground. "You're out of range of our horns, and you're not much use to us dead, so we'd rather not shoot you out of the sky! At this point, what happens next depends entirely on how much you value this stallion! I am going to give you thirty seconds to think it over, and if you'd rather stay up there, then I'm putting two shots through his skull!!"
Poppy stopped, hovering as she turned around and saw Mills keeping Chapter's bloody hoof stuck to the ground while pointing his own gun at his head. "But you said you needed him!"
"You get away and he's useless to us, ma'am! You'd warn SHS, and they would know to look for him!" she elaborated. "Twenty seconds!"
"But SHS was keeping a close eye on him anyway!"
"..." Mills looked down at Chapter, then back up to Poppy in the sky. "If you would prefer, I can shoot him right now! You're making him sound rather useless to us with that talk!"
"Nononono don't shoot him!" Poppy begged with outstretched forelegs.
"Fly away, fuck these assholes!" Chapter called up, only for Steel Mills to pistol whip him across the muzzle for his trouble.
"Ten seconds, Miss Crafts!" she repeated, now pushing his head into the ground with the muzzle of his gun.
Poppy hovered in place, looking down at Chapter Break, then over to her safe home waiting for her. She could be back and completely safe in ten minutes flat. But in spite of every horrible thing the stallion had said about her, her eyes were still drawn back down to him lying bloodied and helpless on the ground.
He flinched as Steel Mills fired a warning shot into the ground next to his head, his ears ringing as dirt was kicked up into his face. "Shit!"
"Five seconds!"
"Okay! Okay! I'm coming down!" Poppy finally relented as she started steadily drifting downward. "Just don't hurt him! Please!"
"Fly the fuck away you stupid bitch!" Chapter shouted again as Poppy touched down.
"Could you maybe stop calling me names while I'm saving your life?!" Poppy retorted shortly before Lower tackled her to the ground, holding her there securely as Pipe Wrench pulled a rope out of her pack and began securing her wings.
"You're not doing jack shit! They're just going to shoot me anyway!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Mills admonished as she brought the gun away from his head. "There's no reason to be so negative, Seventeen. The world is bad enough these days without assuming the worst."
Poppy had no idea what would happen from then on, but in that moment she still managed a bittersweet smile through her fear and tears. If nothing else, she had just saved somepony's life. No matter how bad things got going forward, she would always have-
Steel Mills casually fired two shots into Chapter Break's head.
"He was right, but that level of pessimism is still not a good way to go through life," she mused as she dropped his gun on top of his twitching corpse.
The screaming from Poppy was cut short by Pipe Wrench's hoof pinning her muzzle to the dirt. The frighteningly enthusiastic mare then gleefully held her stolen SHS baton against her victim's cheek. "I warned you about running your mouth, Ducky," she purred mockingly.
The beating came hard and fast. The only good thing left in Poppy's day was the fact that she was knocked unconscious relatively quickly.
Author's Note
Going to be completely honest, I'm sort of terrified to post this, but as a birthday gift to myself I'm forcing myself to do so, because waiting wasn't working.
Bit of backstory on this:
In 2018 while my dad was dying there was a lot of time where there was just nothing to be done... while thinking about how my dad was dying. I spent plenty of time with him during his decline but he slept a lot and generally encouraged me and mom to still do our own thing because it made him feel at home like he wanted to feel. So I needed a distraction... a LONG distraction. Fallout Equestria was easily long and distracting enough to qualify.
I can't rightly recall if I finished reading it before or after dad was gone, but I did finish reading it. I can't exactly remember what started the idea for this afterward, but I think it was a conversation with Poppy's creator that suggested the barest form of a simple idea that I started habitually fleshing out in my head while I was busy at work when I still had a job, and now THIS is here.
Anyway, to address the elephant in the room, yes, I am using my OC Chapter Break as one of the main characters in this. I intend him to be his own character and not a self insert, which is something that Punchdrunk Promenade gave me enough confidence to try again, since he and Poppy seemed to go over well with people that read that story. I also want to balance him out with other OCs from my friends, with their permission of course, and tossing around ideas with them now and again these past years has been fun. Hopefully the whole thing eventually turns into something enjoyable to read!
The plan is a 4 or 5 part self contained story initially. I have this first chapter and the second chapter done, and I intend to post the second chapter next week. The third is PARTIALLY done but still needs a good lot of work, and parts 4 or 5 are going to be a while if I'm being honest. After that, if not sooner, it's back to finish Reunion.
Anyway it's 2:30 AM as I write this author's note, I'll probably post this in the morning after waking up. Hopefully you all enjoy my birthday gift to me after this account has spent a few years not posting anything!
