Housing Harmony

by Pernix

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Human, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2826

And it seemed like it was going to be another normal weekend. Before THEY showed up, that is.

If you ever asked me what I was like, I'd tell you that I'm just another simple guy trying to make ends meet. A guy who worked for his home and his meals, and always enjoyed spending time with close friends. Life couldn't be more normal for me at the time.

Then again, life always seems like it's going to be normal before fate throws a handful of cartoon horses into the mix.

Published 2012-09-22 14:14:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-22 14:14:03 UTC

Well, This Was Unexpected

"Yeah, Saturday night. Say around, I dunno, eight o'clock? Eight-thirty?"

... ... ...

"Well, at least you won't have to worry about work the day after."

... ... ...

"Yeah, just the usual group. If you want to bring anyone else, feel free."

... ... ...

"If she wants to come, yeah. Go ahead and let her know. Just keep me in the loop."

... ... ...

"Alright, man. Later."

I quickly snapped my cell phone shut and tossed it into the passenger seat, returning my full attention to the road. Now, I know about the whole "cell phones and driving" saying, but I never had to pay much mind to it, nor did I really care about it. I'd honed this skill to a fine edge. Having one hand on the wheel and the other on my cell was simply second nature at this point with all of the calls I've had to take while on the road in the past. My clean accident record could easily back this up.

Although most calls I've taken were related to work, this particular conversation was completely casual.

I'd been talking to my friend Anthony about hosting our monthly poker night - an event that had officially been made routine about two years ago. Like most times, we'd agreed to have it hosted at my place again, despite my house being located outside city limits. We'd have a couple good buddies around town and from work invited to have a good time, complete with a few friendly card games, good drinks, and the possibility of walking out the front door with eachother's paychecks. Naturally, it was hard to resist. And although it was basically the same event every month, there was always something unique about each night that made it special.

It currently being a Thursday afternoon, after a full week of tedious work, I was definitely in the mood to unwind again. Saturday night was all I could think about on my way home from work. I wanted to make sure that it ended up being the picture of perfection; a party host's magnum opus.

Do I have enough food for everyone? What about drinks? Might run out for groceries later on.

I should probably make sure the house is clean, too. Maybe mow the lawn while I'm at it...

I might have been a bit meticulous with the details, but I simply couldn't help myself at the time. I wanted my image as a host to be nothing but the best. I never cut corners or spared any expense in the past when it came to this special night, and there was no way in that this time was going to be any different. Two days was a fairly decent amount of time to get everything ready and still have plenty of time to myself, so it looked like nothing but smooth sailing.

I'd been so infatuated with this night that I totally ignored all traffic on my routine drive home. What was 30 minutes in reality had been around 5 minutes to me, as I found myself pulling off of the main highway much earlier than I'd expected. The backroad home was always a quiet one, mainly because there was really no one living out there besides me with the exception of a few people living on the dirt roads that branched off from this one. I'd never met them, but I never really had any desire to. Solitude was one of life's values that I'd enjoyed the most. And with the environment that I'd resided in, there was no better place on Earth for it.

A pleasant change of scenery from the nearby city's hustle and bustle of factories and skyscrapers, my home was located in what, at first glance, people would assume to be a nature park of some sort. The road home was lined with beautiful and majestic pine trees that would tower overhead with their unwavering shades of green. It was common to spot multiple examples of local wildlife when taking this route, including wild turkeys, deer, and the occasional roaming fox. Later on in the stretch, you could look out the driver's-window and see the grass plains that spanned onward and onward into the distance until they reached another treeline of pines. Driving this route never did get old for me, and I hoped that it never would.

At the end of the line was my home - a decently-sized estate in the middle of the forestry. Some of the notable features included two stories with a balcony on the top floor, three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a game room, basement, den, study, and a screened-in pool on the back patio. It wasn't the mansion that people think about when dreaming about becoming millionaires, but it was fairly top-notch for someone who made a sizable six-figure salary. Plus, with this extraordinary location, I was never one to complain about my living conditions.

I neatly pulled into the garage, grabbed my phone and coffee and exited my car, shuffling through my keys to unlock the entrance to my home. After fumbling with my keychain for a few seconds, I promptly unlocked the door and entered the hall on the lower floor. Quickly locking the door behind me, I casually walked into the kitchen, setting down my cell phone and beverage on the counter. As I went about my normal business, I'd noticed that my return was missing the normal "welcome home" act that I was always able to expect.

She must be sleeping again...

Coming to this conclusion, I went to search for the "she" that was missing from the current picture. Giving a cursory glance through the two guest bedrooms and the den, I then went straight up to my room on the second floor, where I found her lying in my bed, as if she'd been patiently waiting for me to come home the entire time I was out.

"Hey there, Trixie. Looks like you've been less than productive today."

No, I wasn't a married man, nor did I have anyone else living with me at the time. Trixie was my three-year-old German Shepherd - an addition to the household that I'd made when she was just a pup. She'd been like family to me ever since I first brought her home.

Her ears perked up and her tail instantly began to shake in excitement, yet she made little effort to move from her sleep-like position. I slowly walked over to my bedside, seating myself on the mattress directly next to her, as I scratched behind her ears and rubbed her belly like she always enjoyed.

"Still not feeling well, huh?" I disappointedly said as I noticed her somber mood. She'd been under the weather for about two weeks now, although she seemed somewhat worse than she did when she first came down with her illness. Our veterinarian advised me to keep her on antibiotics, although it seems like they only amplify the physical drain on her body. I didn't know if I was helping her situation or only making it more miserable for her to endure, but I had to hope for the former. I couldn't risk this sickness becoming fatal, else I would gladly take her off of these meds. Only time would tell at this point, but I hoped for the best.

"Feel like coming down for something to eat?"

I knew that she most likely couldn't understand a word I was saying, but it seemed that she could, at times, comprehend the meaning behind my gestures. It seemed even more so when she slowly climbed down off of my bed and got a slow but steady head start down to the kitchen.

"At'ta girl." I said with a chuckle, hopping off of the bed to catch up with her. Making my way down the stairs after her, I turned the corner, noticing how she patiently sat in front of the refrigerator, as if asking for something to eat other than the dry food that she'd usually partake in. In this particular instance, I didn't object.

After giving Trixie some of the leftover roast beef from last night's meal, I quickly remembered that I had intended to check through my supply of food and drink for Saturday night's event. Rummaging through the fridge and pantry, I jotted down a few quick items that I'd planned on running out to get later on.

I'd wanted to check on the poker equipment in the storage room, just to make certain that I had everything I needed. I knew that I'd put everything in its proper place since last time, but it never hurt anyone to double check. Wouldn't want everyone to show up and not be prepared, would I?

I walked through the hall from the kitchen, reaching out for the doorknob of the storage room, when my cell phone began to ring from the kitchen counter where I'd left it. With a faint sigh, I quickly walked back into the kitchen and glanced at the name on my caller ID. "Anthony".

I quickly picked up.

"Hey, what's up?"

... ... ...

"Like I said, whoever you want. But let's keep this small, alright? We don't need a multitude in here."

... ... ...

"Sure, if you want to bring some. Just remember that people have to drive home afterwards."

... ... ...

"No, I just got home. I'm gonna end up running to the store later for some food.

By the way, is there anything in particular that you want? I'm still making a list."

... ... ...

Anthony being Anthony, I found myself leaning over my kitchen counter, taking note of multiple food suggestions as my pen tried to keep up with his voice. I should've specified by saying "one or two things that you want". I imagined that he must've heard "one-pass buffet" instead of "store".

"And it's fat-free? Why fat-free?"

... ... ...

"Alright, fair enough. Is that all?"

... ... ...

"Okay, cool."

I dropped my pen in relief as I turned directly around to lean up against my kitchen counter, facing the hallway. I decided to stay on the phone and ask Anthony about the people that he'd planned to bring on Saturday. I didn't mind when he'd bring a few extra guests, but there were instances when it got a bit out of hand and he'd arrive with an abundance of faces that I didn't recognize. Still, that only happened once or twice. He'd gotten much better at choosing small groups to bring to the event since then, and I learned to trust his judgment. For the most part.

As we talked, I noticed a bright flash of light shining from under the door of the storage room, accompanied by an extremely intense boom that sounded eerily similar to a thunderclap.

I nearly flew through the ceiling when I jumped from the sound, my heart rate instantly skyrocketing as I felt my heart pound in my chest. Trixie immediately tucked her tail between her legs and bolted out of the room, despite her extremely tired behavior.

"You alright, man? The hell was that?" Anthony shouted through the phone at me. Seems like the noise set him off as much as it did for me and my canine companion.

"I... I have no idea," I replied, still shocked over the bizarre occurrence. I only kept one light installed in that room, and there's no way that a blown bulb would cause a flash that bright or a blast that loud. Something was definitely off. And I was determined to find out what.

"Hold on a sec, I'm gonna go see what's up. Stay on the line, alright?"

He agreed, patiently waiting for me to respond with a damage assessment.

I held my cell phone to my shoulder as I quietly inched over to the storage room door. I attempted to brace myself in case the blinding flash and deafening boom decided to go off again. Although they never did, I did notice something odd as I moved closer and closer to the door. I was able to pick up faint, mumbled voices on the other side, telling me that someone was definitely inside. Me, not having enough common sense to find something to defend myself with, slowly propped my right ear up to the door in attempt to pick up the conversation occurring on the opposite side.

"So, everypony is here, right? We didn't leave anypony behind?"

"Ah dunno, Twi. Can't see much 'o anything in here."

"Alright, let's take roll. Applejack?"

"Ah was just talkin' to ya, wasn't ah?"

"Oh, right. Sorry. Fluttershy?"

"I-I'm here, Twilight."

"Pinkie Pie?"

"Ooh, ooh! Present!"

"Rainbow Dash?"

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Rarity?"

"Right beside you, darling."

"Excellent! Everypony is present and accounted for! I can safely say that the spell was a complete success! How exciting!"

Every-pony? Spell? Pinkie Pie? The hell's going on in there?

Sounds like a total of six people, all girls. How'd they get in?

I desperately tried to piece everything together in my head as I lifted my ear from the door. How all of these girls got into my house without me knowing was absolutely beyond me. Every door in my house was always locked, and there were no noticeable signs of forced entry anywhere. It's as if they just appeared out of thin air.

"You having some kind of party over there, man? You can't just invite chicks over without letting me know!"

I pushed my cell phone's speaker into my chest, attempting to muffle Anthony's voice as much as possible. He must've heard their voices on his end. I'd hoped that my intruders didn't notice my friend's unnecessary interruption, as I continued to listen to the voices on the other side of the door. They were still carrying on a conversation, so I assumed that they hadn't heard.

Now was the time to get some answers. I straightened my posture and faced the door, ready to charge in and settle things. I wasn't really worried about being attacked, as the girls in the room didn't sound like they were breaking in or waiting to ambush me. Besides, they're girls. What could they possibly do?

Reaching for the doorknob, I slowly turned the handle and creaked open the door. The voices then instantly ceased, as I heard a simultaneous gasp coming from the entire party. They knew that I was there. It was now or never.

I pushed the door open completely, reaching over to the wall beside me to flip the lightswitch, assuming that the overhead lamp still worked. I flicked the switch upward, the bulb then illuminating the entire room, including me and my uninvited guests.

Especially my uninvited guests.

My assumption that these girls were normal human beings immediately purged itself from my mind.

In fact, they were nowhere near human. I could, at the time, describe them best as horses.

Small, multicolored, cartoonish, large-eyed horses.

I stood there for what seemed like an eternity, mouth agape, as my guests did the same back at me. My eyes deadlocked with each one of them at least once, as we continued to stare at eachother from opposite sides of the room. I noticed that two of these creatures had horns on their heads, and another two sported wings on their backs. As if this wasn't already out of the norm.

Breaking the awkward tension between us, the violet one opened its mouth, as if it were attempting to speak to me.

"H... hello there."

They talk. Of course they talk. Why wouldn't they talk?

I didn't respond. I couldn't. This entire situation had me puzzled beyond belief, as I wondered whether this was reality or if I was losing whatever sanity I had left. Unsure of what to do next, I went with the first thing that came to my mind and immediately backed out of the room, closing the door behind me, with the pony creatures still inside. I leaned my back up against the door, my shocked expression still remaining on my face.

"Hello? You alright, man?" Anthony questioned from his end of the call.

I slowly lifted the phone to my ear.

"I'll call you back later."

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Well, here it is. The result of waking up four hours before I was supposed to.

Since there's an abundance of "Human in Equestria" fiction, why not switch it up with another "Ponies on Earth" fanfic?

I'll be doing my best to keep writing additional chapters, as I already have plenty of ideas to keep the story rolling.

There will be humor. There will be drama. There will be grief.
There may eventually be the lovely combination of ponies and alcohol.
Stick around for more, folks.

Thoughts? Criticism? Feel free to leave your input below.