Trees.

Nothing but annoying trees for days. Forests are single-handedly the worst places to fight. We had learned this many times, during training. Of course, the moon didn't have trees, so magical pillars of moon dust had to suffice. And for the most part they did, as they allowed us to learn to fight in close quarters with ever-changing viewing angles. But what they didn't account for is the sudden changes between shade and light. This certainly was the Everfree Forest, as most of it was perfectly dark, but every now an then there was a clearing which blinded me for a few moments.

Just another way in which dear old mother had failed me!

Wow...getting really pathetic now, are we? First we run away, now we blame mother for not making adequate trees?

I... I already said we don't need her. She has failed us, so have our siblings.

Are you sure SHE is the one who hurt us?

Of course she is! She was too weak to withstand-

To withstand-

To withstand Sparkle.

I already felt my blissful rage returning. Having died out after days of wandering, it rushed back like a drug. Images of Dave rushing through my mind helped fuel it further. It...the only constant in my life. The only thing that has never left me. Every time I had tried to sequester it, to scheme with logic, it came back like a tidal wave.

Sure, it made me act out. It had ruined my own plans (by now I am not even sure if the day guard is still unaware of my whereabouts, having likely been contacted by the crystal guard), but it had also protected me from the elements of harmony.

So should I try attack the Princess of Friendship head first or should I try going by the remnants of my old plan? Both seem to have benefits, and both seem to have issues, especially when one undermines the other...

"ARGH!" I exclaim.

Why do I have to be cursed like this? Cursed to a stupid duality that shouldn't exist! Cursed to fail EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. It almost makes surrender seem like a better option!

Are you even listening to yourself?

I have been in this forest for too long. It's giving me even more self doubt than I already had. I need my friend, Lint, again. Her annoying mantras and fun facts at least kept me somewhat sane....from myself.

Cursed. That's what I was. I didn't have to always be angry, at least that's what Valiant always said...but maybe I shouldn't listen to someone two chose to side with our aunt? Though...he was also the "smart" one.

At least, he was the smart one when I just so happened to be angry. Just so happened. Ha! On the odd days where I was actually cool, I was a pretty even match, but that seemed to not matter to mother. I was simply the angry one...

I am simply the angry one. Every day of my life has lead to ZERO growth. I chose headbutts as my primary weapon then, just as I choose them now. Like some feral unicorn of eons passed just discovering violence for the first time. I don't wield a weapon, I AM the weapon. That is all I ever was. That's all mother ever saw me as.

...

That's all I will ever be.

...

"Oh come on?! Since when have I become so sentimental?!" I asked no one in particular. Maybe the trees?

I have been nothing but weak these past days. I thought my time spent training and planning in the desert would help me become a stronger opponent, but I get one hit in and immediately start to lose again. Maybe that's why, maybe because I thought I could win, I started to lose. The universe's way of telling me that I am not the one who plots, but the thing that is wielded by a greater strategist? There I go again, becoming a full-on cryfilly.

Filly.

Is that why I am having these thoughts? Because I seriously considered ending a life that hadn't truly begun?

No no no no no.

I started breathing heavily. Another panic attack. At least, I think that's what those outbursts are.

I could see myself doing it...doing THAT.

I-

You are just a weapon. You don't think. You just kill what you are told to.

"BUT I WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO DO SO!"

I crawl towards a tree, no longer able to stand.

And take a short brake.

By now, Twilight probably anyways knows.

Only a few hours later, and back underway.

No more outbursts.

I do not mean the angry kind, which I may still decide to use over an actual plan, but the sad and depressed kind. I cannot allow myself to break when I finally destroy that purple pony and her precious friendship rocks. If I want to succeed in avenging mother, I will have to get over that awful overreaction.

As a continue to attempt to contain...everything, I see that my walking has finally paid off. Ponyville stands only about a thousand hooves from where I am. Nothing seems to indicate any sort of barricading....which may mean I am off the hook for now. That, or they are concentrating on protecting my aunt.

Should I dare go in by day? Risking everypony seeing me, but getting this done with sooner? Mother always told us to use our dark fur to our advantage and only attack at night, but that also means it is exactly when she would be waiting for me. I could also try a masquerade spell, but that would waste energy I'd want to keep reserved for my fight with princess purple.

The houses also seem to all point in one general direction, so I may be able to get as close as possible before pouncing by coming around the "back?"

It seems I had already chosen to go with a plan over sheer violence...even if Valiant is the one who was taught more proper strategy than Night and I.

Talking of Late Night...IS SHE DOWN THERE??? I knew she was staying with one of the element bearers, but I hadn't expected to ever see her cutting flowers.

...

Could I recruit her?

I know it seems crazy, especially after I have called her a traitor and an idiot countless times.....but she was always the more docile kind. She was more easy to manipulate. And she certainly had received proper combat training. So could I just come by and ask her to join me?

Wow, you have really fallen far.

I want to get away from that voice. So I decide to head there. If you knew my sister, you'd not think of this plan as being as foolish as it seems. She really isn't the brightest. (And maybe I want to see her again?)

Really, now? Where did all that bravado go?

That part of her was almost fully gone now, it may really just have been some of the forest's dark magics. But to answer its question, it got replaced by an actual plan this time. As long as I can keep a cool head, I can probably make this work. (Which means I also probably just jinxed it.)

And if anything goes wrong, I will resort to killing the princesses alone.

Late Night saw a pony with dark fur come up to her. Maybe she smelled the wonderful flowers she had been growing with Fluttershy? She was so thankful for that pegasus. Without her, she wouldn't know what she would do...or where she would live. Mom had suggested Night stays in the Canterlot Castle, but she didn't want to live there. Too big. Too difficult to remember all the little passageways.

As the pony came closed it seemed famil-

"Oh, hi Eclipse! How are you?"

Her sister makes a hushed motion and whisper-yells, "I am well, but could you keep it down a little?"

"Oh!" Night exclaims before quieting, "Like this?"

"Perfect."

"How are you? I haven't seen you in quite a few moons! WAIT!" Eclipse shushes her, "Oh, sorry. But are you still evil?"

"Evil? Dear Sister why would I be evil?"

Night considers, before answering, "Y'know. Like we used to be? Wanting to hurt our aunt."

"You mean the one who took everything from us?"

"Yes, that one! I mean no, not that one. Yes, that pony, but she didn't actually mean to hurt anypony!"

Eclipse rolls her eyes, "Are you sure you got that right? Especially after she banished mother to the moon for ONE. THOUSAND. YEARS?!" This time, Night shushes her, which seems to annoy her sister.

"Are you suuure you aren't evil anymore? You kind of still look evil," she says pointing her hoof at Eclipse.

Through clenched teeth, Eclipse replies, "Yes. I am sure that I never was evil to begin with."

"Even in you temper tantrums?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY-"

"Shhhhh. Quiet"

Eclipse tries something along the lines of composure, "I. Have. Never. Thrown. A. Tantrum. Only our aunt has done so, resulting in most of our lives being quite...boring."

A new voice, "It seems that you are throwing one right now, dear sister."

No.

Am I crazy, how is Valiant here?

I thought the day guard was on an extended trip! (I had apparently said that out loud.)

"But after an attack on a certain princess we were ordered to come back and increase protections," he calmly explained, "I came here to protect my sister from-as I had assumed-my other sister. My assumptions were proven right."

No No NO NO NO NO

I HAD taken too long walking through the forest. Why didn't I just fly and hope it didn't waste too much energy or make me visible? My outbursts had actually ruined this plan before it had even fully begun! I can't believe it!

Out of exasperation, or some other emotion, I yell-cried, "PLEASE! You two, help me defeat our aunt! Like we had trained! Do you not feel any hatred towards what she had done to mother? DO YOU NOT HATE OUR MOTHER? We aren't a normal family, we are just hear weapons to defeat a monster she ended up siding with!"

I barely understood Night saying, "Are you alright sis? IS SHE OKAY?"

"Please, Eclipse, come with us. You can make up for the wrongs you did before it is too late!" Valiant murmured behind my sobs and tears, "We do not want war with you. YOU HAVE LOST. Mother can explain more to you if you just follow me."

"AND GET EATEN?! LIKE YOU TWO? LOOK AT YOURSELVES, YOU LOOK NOTHING LIKE LATE NIGHT AND VALIANT SHADOW! YOU ARE AS LOST AS MOTHER IS!!!"

I scream, before firing some spell-ANY SPELL-in my brother's direction.

There may have been a hit or a yell, but I couldn't year anything but my pulse in my ears.

I WILL KILL HER.

...

I reach the main square of the town, around where we last made our entrance, but that memory didn't fully register.

I wanted to see blood.

She isn't the first I will hurt, she will not be the last.

I see some pony yelling, I shoot of a spell in that direction.

Not Sparkle.

I attempt to kick down the door of a house to get her attention. I accidentally get a good chunk of the wall, too. There are ponies inside, and I get them with a good kick. Something crunches, but still...

Not Twilight.

Somepony runs past me, I hit off another spell.

NOT. TWILIGHT. SPARKLE.

"WHERE ARE YOU?" I bellow.

I find another pony. (Haven't they learned to hide, yet?) And point my horn at the stallion. He backed himself into a corner (his fault) and get closer and closer. After I-don't-know-how-long I am starting to push against his neck. I draw blood. I slowly inch deeper, somehow the blood is only coming slowly. (I must have missed all major arteries?)

"Stop!" I hear from behind me.

I turn around to see her.

"FINALLY! You have come to play!"

Princess Luna was worried. She had only just received notification of her...daughter's whereabouts, and now Twilight sent a letter that she would engage in combat?! It seemed quite impossible that the Princess of Friendship wouldn't first try....well, friendship!

Though...she does know how testing Ecl- her daughter can be like. Oh, what a terrible mother and pony she had been! (No, no time for that now. Move with the contingency. Get her daughter to the tree, and try to fix her.) Hopefully that will work this time. Nopony has any clue how her daughter had evaded being reformed the last time the elements were used on her, but Twilight promised that she had a plan for the next time they'd see her...

That time was now, it seemed.

She had to do a quick (and rough) teleport towards her last sighting, but had to fly the rest of the way there. Once she got closer to Ponyville, Luna could start to make out some of the havoc her daughter had caused. Luna felt her hopes shrink as this time seems to be playing out the exact same way as the last. That is when she saw Eclipse.

The new Nightmare seemed to be in a frenzied fight with Twilight. The furious pony's hair waving with her raw emotions, similar to that of Luna's and her sister's but far far angrier. Blow after blow upon the shields Tia's student cast in quick succession. The fight looked less like a duel between two ponies, or even a fight between two adversaries. What Luna saw was more akin to a pony defending itself from a wild animal. Eclipse didn't seem to care about any rules, she didn't even attempt to test Twilight with taunts. It wanted blood.

The display made Luna realize something.

She did not want to confront this. Not just her daughter, but herself. Or rather, what she had been. Celestia's counseling had helped Luna a great deal with reintegrating into pony society and becoming their ruler again. The time had helped her make new friendships and resume her duties as guardian of dreams. But that didn't seem to matter, since all the proof of her mistakes were right in front of her.

Even if everypony tells her that it wasn't her fault. She had allowed herself to become corrupted by her emotions. She had attacked her own sister. She had been the one who had seen and trained her children, not as her own flesh and blood, but as weapons. Tools to be used for destruction. Eclipse was always one to have difficulty with her anger, but Luna was the pony who had taught her that was all she was.

There she was, doing it again.

Luna was doing the same thing she had done on the moon. The same thing she had done every time she felt too much joy in the past years. She was falling into self loathing again. She was feeling bad for herself again, and focusing only on how she felt. Eclipse may have never been very much in control of her outward emotions, but Luna...she wasn't in control of her most inner ones.

"AUGH!"

The yell made Luna jump out of her own thoughts. Her daughter seems to have finally gotten a hit in on Twilight, and a pretty solid one at that. Right to the side, under her wing.

Luna, realizing that she had stopped flying forward while thinking, began to dive to hopefully pick up speed and save Twilight before anything else happened. The poor pony likely wouldn't even have been hit if she hadn't become so self obsessed ag- no time for that.

She mustered up the courage to call to her daughter, "Eclipse! Please! Listen to me!"

The furious alicorn didn't seem to have heard her, as she continued hitting Twilight's shields. They were starting to break after only about 2 hits on average, meaning Twilight must be getting tired. Her attacker, however, seemed to have as much energy to continue fighting ag always. Simply hitting with everything she has for the rest of eternity.

"Eclipse!" Luna tried again, as soon as she was closer.

This time, the angered alicorn noticed and turned towards her, but all she had to say was, "You too?"

She then tried to charge a spell towards Luna, but failed due to being hit by a minor blast from Twilight. The young alicorn began to charge for the Everfree Forest as planned. Hopefully she still had enough energy left over to prepare another spell...

Her daughter seemed to be deciding whether to follow or attack Luna, which the princess used to her advantage, "Please, my daughter, you don't have to-"

"Shut up! What I don't have to do is listen to you! Don't you mother me, especially not now that you have started to lose! Your "parenting" has only lead us... me to failure!"

The comment stung Luna, but she replied, "Eclipse, you are my daughter, I did not set you up for failure! And we are not starting to lose!"

"HAHAAA!" Eclipse hackled, "Because you are on your big sister's side? You think she will help you and everything will be butterflies? SHE BETRAYED US! At least, that's what has been coming out of your mouth these past centuries!"

Luna was on the verge of tears (strangely, so was Eclipse, it seemed). She wanted to say more, do something other than just stand there and feel bad for herself, for her children. But her body had just shut down. There was nothing else she could say, she feared, without being drowned out by the wailing she was fighting back. She tried stepping closer to her daughter, but the other pony just went into a more crouched defensive position.

Quietly, but with everything, she said, "I'm sorry. I was the one who this to you."

Pain.

Wait, pain?

Why was I suddenly feeling pain?!

Was I being hit by some bystander with a slow spell?

Was I poisoned?

Was I- Oh.

That kind of pain.

But wait, princess Luna had apologized multiple times before, hadn't she? Had mother ever apologized?

(More proof that she isn't her!)

NO! Why was that voice back? I thou-

Since when was I running towards the Everfree again?!

Ah, never mind. I will just finish what I started and try to find Twilight Sparkle first... but the voice did remind me of one issue. Was princess Luna really my mother? They didn't look alike, think alike, or by now even talk alike (which actually makes Luna seem somewhat more respectful). But they are, or were, the same pony...

This is too confusing. For a time, I had considered if I could turn my mother back, but that idea seems borderline impossible. Especially with all that friendship. And-

Wow, that was an actual consecutive thought, wasn't it? Did Luna's words really just kick me out of...myself?

I'll have to be more careful about that.

A weird feeling washed over me. I can't fully describe it, but it seemed somewhat familiar. Like when I entered the crystal empire, just a feeling of calm...

No. Just hold it together until you took care of Sparkle.

...

Now I see why I felt that way. I was back near the ruins where we first came to this world. It was only a few years ago, but strangely that time went quicker than all our time training on the moon. (Though, again, that place does mess around with ponies' perception of time.)

I also see why I felt something change in the air and in my core. There was a large tree that, from what I heard, was the new tree of harmony? The story was somewhat confusing, and I think the news may have blown some parts of the story out of proportion. But what did stay consistent was that the tree was now more powerful.

"Hey, idiot!" a voice called.

I couldn't find the source, until I heard it again, "Up here!"

It was Dash. One of the bearers of the elements of harmony, and apparently quite the nuisance.

"What do you want?" I call up to the mare.

"To Kick. Your. Flank! Of course! But you can also just give up!"

She is already getting on my nerves, "No, thank you." I attempt to remain calm, "I am looking for Twilight Sparkle, the main course of the day, not some appetizer."

"Ooh, gotta keep that line!" she calls back, "Where'd you get it? Your intelligent brother or your funny sister?"

That's it.

I know I shouldn't be so petty, but that mare's raspy voice is annoying as buck. So I fly up and try giving her a quick punch to the stomach.

She dodges.

What? I didn't even see her move!

I reorient myself and try again!

She dodges again.

"Oh, would you hold still!?"

"Not my fault that you are the slowest flier!"

"ARGH!"

I try blasting her, but she dodges every single spell I throw at her.

"STOP DOING THAT!"

The filly only blows a raspberry.

I try flying at her from the right, but shoot a spell to where she will have to dodge to. This will g-

She dodges.

"COME HERE!"

I'll kill her.

"You're getting really angry! Have you tried therapy?" she says, but I-as per usual-barely hear it.

I teleport above her and dive as quickly as possible.

This time she also begins to dive and fly away from me.

How is this mere pony so much faster than I am?

She dives into a crack in the ground, I follow.

"Can't catch me!"

"Stop thinking this is a game!"

"So you can stop losing and I stop winning? Don't think so!"

Rainbow Dash pulls up hard, and goes out of the crevasse. She pulls to the side and into the castle ruins. But the maneuvers slowed her down more than I did, it seems.

"I'll get you you f-"

I get caught by something.

"Quick girls!" Twilight Sparkle's familiar voice calls.

"What is this?!"" I yell as I turn around to look at who/what grabbed me. Which is when I see that the whole tree of harmony has contorted and wrapped multiple branches around me. Like a big crystalline fish catching some unfortunate smaller pray?

(This feels...familiar as well?)

"NO! Let me go!" I scream again, as the element bearers start casting their dreadful spell, "That won't work!"

"This time, it will," Luna says with confidence.

"YOU LEAVE, I WILL GET YOU LATER!"

No.

"Please, Eclipse, forgive me for pushing you like this!" Princess Luna says before casting a spell that seems to meld into what ever the bearers are casting.

No.

"Please, don't be like this," Night says (Since when was she here?) as she begins to cast, too.

NO!

"Please, you are more than this endless anger!" somepony said, very muffled by this point.

"NOOOOOOO!"

...
Please, Dave is not the one you hate.
...
Please, the one who killed you was not fully human.
...

Please, child. Do not let this anger keep consuming you. The one who did this is not here, the one who furthered it isn't here either. Please, let go.

I..don't want to anymore.

Please, let yourself feel joy!

A- Alright.

Everything went white.

Author's Note

Alternative title: "To Finally Lose"

I hope this is alright. Again, I sort of lost all of my flow. But I am also sorry if this story took a turn you didn't want/expect. I will-when I have time-continue. This is sort of the end of the beginning (and originally, this story stops here).

It will be interesting to see how many people are in dark vs light more. :)

Also, I went back and changed some of the writing (mostly grammatical stuff, and some clarification) on chapters 1-5. But if you are following along just fine, there is no need to reread, since the main story is still the same.