The Unicorn's Notebook

The pink notebook was my object of interest for the next hour. I looked at the cover and skimmed the contents of the book and saw nothing. As if to mock me, the book merely confused me more. The pages were riddled with what-if's, notes scribbled about the deceased, and Rarity. It's as if Twilight has some sick obsession with Rarity and... maybe she caused the deaths?

No, that's atrocious. There is no way Twilight was responsible. She was my mother, and to thin otherwise was absolutely stupid... yet this notebook drove a stake into my brain. I felt the nagging feeling like a severe hangover whenever I thought back to the past few months. Every time my friends denied something, I felt like asked them this before, or like... a deja vu.

I was certain that something had happened and that fellow Blue Star was involved. It was a solidified fact, in my mind which was the reason why I felt like the pink notebook lied to me. It scrambled my thoughts and seemed to lead to one of my closer friends being responsible. It stated that the one that was responsible for these deaths is close to Rarity, and it's unknown whether or not the pony in question knew what he was doing. The fact of the matter is that Twilight thought something was up at some point, and now she's hiding it. To make matters worse, the notebook was missing a few pages or some pages were scribbled out entirely or stained with coffee.

What, did she dunk this book into her coffee or something? How the hay does somepony mess up a notebook that badly? Either way, potentially case-cracking evidence was ruined, and I'm stuck at the intersection of my own mind, asking myself what to trust: my gut, the notebook, or my friends.

I love them, I really do. I can't get over how amazing they are and how supportive they've been in the past. They fought against omnipotent beings in the past and an entire Changeling army... and then I start wondering if they were the cause of these deaths. As if I could somehow decipher the coffee stains, I squinted, hoping that they contained the words I could use to explain to my friends, Rarity, and my mother that something had happened while apologizing.

My mother and Rarity told me not to pursue the issue, so I should listen... but I can't. They're hiding something from me, and I'm certain that the issue isn't over. Rarity is in danger, but from who? From what? And how?

Snapping out of my internal battle, I raise my head and stare out over the park, watching school fillies rush out from the schoolhouse. Apple Bloom ran alongside Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, not a care in the world. Rarity walked up to her and Sweetie Belle lovingly hugged her, soliciting a smile from me. Apple Bloom ran up and hugged Applejack, whom appeared from behind a tree blocking my view. Scootaloo walked up to her scooter, but got off as soon as Rainbow Dash landed.

Watching the other foals, I saw that young photographer, or the new editor of the Foal Free Press, Featherweight. His limbs were so frail and skinny that I could break them, probably like toothpicks. He fluttered over to a pegasus pony that seemed familiar to me, but I couldn't remember the name. He has an innocent smile with saddlebags on his back, showing photography equipment sticking out of the flaps.

The more I stared, the more I felt certain I knew this pegasus. When a mare walked up and lovingly nuzzled Featherweight and the photographer, I felt a sharp pain in my mind reminiscent of being struck over the head. At the same time, a screeching metal noise shrieked through my mind causing my entire body to cringe, and I keeled over, almost squishing the notebook.

Panting heavily, I sat up on the bench, looked down at the notebook, then up. Inches away from my face was Featherweight himself, eyeing my curiously. I tilted my head to the side, noticing that any traces of the school fillies and their kin was completely gone. Featherweight himself seemed to have bulked up in the last five seconds; his limbs didn't seem so weak, yet still breakable. He had an admissible tag dangling from his neck while his eyes seemed studious yet brazen.

We looked at each other without exchanging words, but for some reason, I knew that he wanted me to stand up. Doing so, I looked down on the whelp and noticed how crushable foals looked. I smirked at the thought, coughing to shove the joke to the back of my mind. I sighed, and reached a claw forward, holding my arm out. He reached up to me, set his hoof in my claw, and we shook.

After releasing each others grip, he nodded his head, and fluttered away, presumably to come up with new stories for his school magazine. I waved at the whelp as he blissfully fluttered away, oblivious to my own pain as well.

“Lucky fellow,” I muttered.

[*][*][*]

Slumping back to the library with the notebook concealed within my flame breath, I sighed and pushed the door open. Twilight was inside, having done my own job of dusting and she looked over to me. She smiled at me, loosing most of her kind smile upon looking at my eyes. I instantly rubbed my eyes to dry them out entirely and removed every instance of stained cheeks.

“Hey mom, “ I said, strolling to a stool.

“Hey... are you okay?” she asked.

I almost said yes, but figured that lying won't make her trust me or see that I'm mature enough for this subject... but she had lied to me, already. I should get on her good side, though; that will make getting what she knows out easier, allowing me to understand this. It will allow me to see what Rarity had gone through... or needs to prepare for. Biting my lip, I sighed  and looked up to her, shaking my head.

“I didn't listen to what you and the others said. I asked others about the deaths, and even...” I stopped, remembering the incident with Big Macintosh.

“Spike, I said not to get involved with that! You shouldn't worry about it,” Twilight chastised.

I looked up to her, feeling the tears coming into my eyes again. I didn't listen and I accused Applejack of a heinous rime. Coarsely, I exhaled into my hands.

“I love Rarity so much, I just wanted to understand the entire scenario. I mean, something happened and I'm almost certain something happened that night,” I replied, standing up.

Twilight sighed, facehoofing as she did. “Spike, when I say something, I'm not saying it to be a party pooper or rain on your parade. I say it because I love you and don't want you to get hurt or be scared by something so scary as death... especially if it involves things around the area.”

“If I don't understand, I'll keep thinking it to be some horrible, horrible thing and then when it comes to the explanation, I'll freak out and go nuts when I think about it. You'll literally scare me to death whenever I think of death,” I said, shaking my arms. I felt the notebook bugging at my insides, but I resisted the urge to belch it out. I wanted to keep it hidden.

“It's not that, I just don't want you to get involved. An incident occurred, it's over, the last thing we need is somepony digging into it and reminding Ponyville. It's for your sake and Ponyville's sake, Spike. I know you're mature, but please, trust me on this,” Twilight responded, staring at me with a stern glare.

I felt my jaw dropping as if she lied to me again. I understood entirely, but it was so... unfair. Death of several close to Rarity scares me for sure, yeah, but I just want to know if it's more than death... but is this what Twilight means? Is she afraid of a conspiracy at work? No, this is Twilight. Celestia's student and protector of Equestria. She'd be the first to enter a conspiracy theory. The notebook itself is proof that she thought that at first... but why was it in the park? Did she lose it? Is she in the middle? Either way, she wasn't listening to me. I needed something drastic.

“I accused Applejack of being responsible for the deaths,” I muttered.

Looking down at my feet, I felt the shame washing over my mind. I looked up with my eyes, spotting Twilight's shocked expression. She grit her teeth, and shook her head while growling.

“SPIKE! What the HAY is wrong with you? How could you? How could you accuse Applejack of something so heinous as homicide?” Twilight shrieked. She stomped towards me and I instantly cowered, backing up and holding my arms out as some form of protection. I felt myself shrinking into the floor as she was now looking down on me. “Are you that dense? I said not to get involved, so what do you do? You go and accuse flippin' homicide on every Tom, Dick, and Harry around!”

Tears flowed down my face with nothing stopping them and I felt myself fall onto my back. My arms kept me leaning up as Twilight stood over me, glaring at me from above. I choked a few sobs back, feeling all that pride and growth of the past few months zapping away in my mind.

“I just wanted to understand,” I replied. Any quieter, and you'd have confused me for Fluttershy. I gulped, feeling myself fall flat on my back. “I don't want Rarity to be hurt and I'm so sorry, I was unsure.”

Twilight exhaled coarsely before stepping off from above me, and I continued staring at the ceiling. I could feel her eyes on me, watching me laid out. I rolled onto my side and curled up into a ball; just like earlier, I was on the ground, curled in a ball, feeling pain... this time, my mind was in pieces. Double-whammy. I grabbed my knees, and sobbed into them without a care for who saw me.

“I'm sorry, mom...”

I didn't scream or wail, but instead sobbed quietly like a foal hiding their pain. The notebook burned at me from inside, and I felt compelled to give it back to Twilight... but I didn't. She couldn't realize that I had it. I needed to do this since I was now alone.

“Spike,” she said calmly. I looked up to her, sniffling as I did. Her eyes were still glaring, but it was considerably softer. Her horn lit up, and I was lifted up to my feet. I rubbed my eyes with my arm until they weren't so stained, and looked at her. “I'm sorry for flipping at you like that, but... please, just wait a bit and I'll explain what happened. I'll tell you about the break in, just wait a while. I've been around Ponyville already, and they're still talking about it. Many are scared because they heard a beast that night... I need you, and the others, to stay chipper for a little while. It's complicated, but I swear on my family name that I will tell you everything at some point. It may be five days or fifty years, but I will.”

She then hugged me which automatically made do the same to her. I leaned into her, feeling my tears subside. The guilt was gone, I had admitted it to the best pony possible other than the pony in question, and my mother didn't reject me.

“Okay,” I responded.

[*][*][*]

Sighing was the only thing I managed to do for hours on end as I waited for something to do. Twilight did all of my chores during that day, so I had to live with lying around. I couldn't go to Rarity and lie... that just wasn't cool. Lying won't make things better, so I'll abide her wish for me to stay out of her boutique. She hadn't mentioned that we broke up, so it's not that... she's just a little tense. I smiled, figuring it would work out in the end.

When I heard a knock on the door, I snapped to attention and dashed towards the door. I threw it open, and prepared the motto.

“Hello, and welcome to Ponyville Golden Oaks Libra-” I stopped, seeing it was Rarity at the door. My shoulders slumped, and the conversation from earlier seeped into y mind like a parasite, latching on and absorbing my necessities such as good thoughts and happiness. “Hi, Rarity.”

She shifted uncomfortably, rubbing her hoof and averting my gaze. “Hello, Spike.”

We stood in silence for a few minutes before we both attempted to speak. We chuckled, urged the other to speak, before sighing and stopping once more. Silence continued, and I shrugged.

“Come in, sit down. I'll make us some tea,” I offered, stepping away from the door.

“That sounds lovely,” she said as she walked into the library with enough grace to make pigeons swoon.

She had seated herself at a small cushion near a table in mine and Twilight's room while I brewed the hell out of this tea. I made sure to put the best spices I could find into it while I found the best tea cup. Within minutes, the tea was ready, and I poured it into two cups, set them on a tray, and took them upstairs.

Bumping open the door was step one. Step two was Celestia knows what. I set the tray down on the table and took a cushion opposite from Rarity. She quickly sipped her tea, avoiding awkward talk. I did the same, and stared down at the liquid. I sighed, looking up to Rarity. Staring at her was like Spike's past-time. I could do it forever, taking in those luscious locks of hair, those beautiful blue eyes, the manicured hoofs... but it's not just physical. Hearing her gentle giggle, listening to her angelic voice and tales of love lost and hopes for the future. Gulping, I sighed.

“So, Twilight is out, as you can see. She won't be back for another hour,” I said, setting the tea cup down.

“Well, that's too bad. I really needed a book from here,” she responded quietly.

I nodded, looking at her directly. “I do work here. What book is it?”

She bit her lip, keeping the silence for another minute before sighing. “It's just a stupid romance novel, I don't really need it, I just wanted it.”

My shoulders drooped and apparently, my personality did as well. Rarity must have noticed it because she looked at me with regret flashing through her eyes, brow arched upward.

“Spike... Spikey-wikey, about earlier,” she started, finding the words difficult.

Knowing this would happen, I raised a claw. “I understand if you want to b-break up with me,” I said, feeling my heart tear as I said those words.

Rarity looked hurt, as she immediately shook her head no and stared at me like I killed her mother.

“Spike, of course not! One little spat between lovers does not dictate the direction of the relationship. It may make it a bumpy ride, but the best thing we can do is not stop the vehicle, but ride it out together,” she replied in a matter-of-factly tone.

My entire body relaxed from tension I hadn't known I held in. I breathed a sigh of relief, and Rarity smiled.

“I'm so glad, I thought I ruined yet another relationship for you,” I said, wiping sweat off my brow.

She stopped, staring at me with wide eyes. “Pardon?”

I looked up, realizing the meaning of what I said. I shook my claws as well as my head. “No, no, not what I mean. I mean, I thought I just drove another barrier between two close friends. I mean, I said that awful think about Applejack without even considering it. I actually asked it to Big Macintosh.”

She gasped, covering her mouth with her hoof. I merely waited for a response.

“You did not!”

“I did too.”

“And you're still alive?”

I chuckled, slapping myself in the face. “He bucked me five feet into the air, and then slammed me against the tree while threatening to 'remove Twilight of an assistant,'” I said, slumping onto my side.

She nodded, sipping from her tea as she took the info in. “I see.”

“Celestia knows he told Applejack by now. It's only a matter of time before the others know and know that I'm a sick bastard with an obsession with murder,” I said, burying my face in my claws.

Freezing up once again, Rarity stared at me with wide eyes. She shook her head, took a frantic sip of her tea, and I sat up to calm whatever nerve I tugged at. She looked away towards the ground, eyes shifting ever so slightly in thought. She glanced at me before looking back down, then sighed. She tilted her head towards me and locked eyes with me.

“Spike, I really do mean it when I say I do not want you in my boutique. Until your silly little conspiracy theory di... leaves your silly little head, I do not want you there. That does not mean that I still won't come over to see you,” she responded.

Sighing, I slumped onto the table this time. “I don't deserve your generosity after all I've done.”

Rarity bit her lip before clearing her throat. “Generosity? I banished you from my home and made you leave in sadness, how in Equestria is that generosity?”

“Any other mare would have slapped me, gotten a restraining order, requested me beheaded like a savage beast, the works. I'm a monster, after all,” I blurted out, rubbing my cheek against the table.

A white hoof slammed down on my cheek, sending vibrations through my head. I jolted upright and rubbed my cheeks. “Ow, what was that for?”

“I will not have you belittling yourself in such a derogatory manner, Spike the Dragon! If I ever hear you reduce yourself to a vile monster ever again, we are... ooh, I don't know, but mark my words, dearie, it will be so horrible that Twilight will have to write a scientific theory on how it could possibly work!” Rarity declared, slapping a hoof against the table.

I stared at her for a second with a quivering lip before nodding. “I'm sorry... at least let me keep the idiot status. Regardless of your ultimatum, I'm still looking into this, and I expect my friends and my lover to respect my decision and only to interfere when it threatens the privacy of others.”

Keeping a stern glare was great at keeping my confidence up, and apparently, it caused Rarity to think. She looked off to the side, thinking. I gulped, feeling the silence gnawing at my psyche. Finally, Rarity sighed.

“Okay, and I will not tell others what my precious idiot has decided to do regardless of the warnings... unless they ask. Deal?” she said.

I nodded, smiling. “Deal.”

She smiled, quickly finishing her tea. She licked her lips while I guzzled my own tea. Looking at her, I reminded myself of how lucky I was to have her regardless of the chaos.

“However, I still do not want you in my boutique, or anywhere near it. If you wish to speak with me, you must ask a friend to pass the message or pray that I am not at home. I also expect you to tell the others why I am not allowing you in my boutique should they ask,” she said, putting on her own steely glare.

I nodded. “Anything for you.”

Smiling, she sighed, standing up. “Spike, since I am here and Twilight is not, why don't we cuddle for a bit? I do enjoy that fireplace you have; it makes you a nice blanket and/or mattress,” she said, stretching.

I nodded, and stood up, cracking my knuckles. “That would be lovely.”

[*][*][*]

Blinking, I found the world dark as I lay on blankets surrounded by two mares; Rarity and I laid in the same position we were in when we fell asleep, while Twilight was lying behind me, snuggled up to me like a body pillow. I smirked, sighing blissfully.

“Oh son of a bi-”

My eyes twitched, and I raised my head. The voice came from outside the library, and glancing at a clock revealed it to be 11:46 PM. Sighing, I laid my head down again, trying to rest my eyes.

“Maxstallion thundercunt!”

I raised my head again, looking outside the window while expecting another shout. Nothing. I slapped my head against the bed, snorting as I felt my eyelids growing heavy again.

“Oh for the love of all things purple and demonic!”

Growling, I gently lifted myself off the bed, sliding my arm from under Rarity. The stairs were no issue, I just hopped down and dragged my feet across the ground as I swung the bedroom door open. I stumbled down the stairs, slapped my face against the door, and wiggled the handle until it opened. In my drowsiness, I fell outside onto the welcome mat, groaning. Rolling over revealed a stallion standing in the street, struggling to light a cigarette.

Struggling, I wound up on my feet and slumping over to this pony. I saw the pony up close, noticing he was the pony from earlier; the one Featherweight went up to. I saw him struggling to ignite the cigarette with a small torch, cursing as he failed. I slumped up to him, and scratched my head before clearing my throat.

Turning his head, he looked at me and gave me a warm smile. “Hello, stranger.” He looked back to his cigarette, setting it in his mouth while he fumbled with the torch. Leaning in, I watched him several more minutes until he sighed. “Great. Heh, I guess I can't have all the good luck,” he said, chuckling while he discarded the torch into a nearby trash bin.

“Uh, I can light it for you,” I offered.

He looked to me, and shrugged. He held out the cigarette and I took it in my claws, spitting out a small flame onto the tip as it began smoking from the burnt paper. I held it out and he merrily took it.

“Thanks,” he said, taking a quick puff.

I stood there in silence, waiting for nothing while I watched the stars above. A beautiful, clear night warranted I be there for some of it. I looked back down to see the pony extended a hoof to me, a wide smile on his face. I shrugged and reached out, grabbing his hoof and shook it.

“Th' names Halcyon Blind,” he said.

“Spike the Dragon,” I replied bitterly.

“I apologize, did I wake you up?” he asked, retracting his hoof.

I shook my head, waiving a hand. “Naw, I was up. You just happened to make some noise as I did.”

He nodded, taking another puff of the cigarette. He blew this puff towards the ground, which still made itself to my nose. It smelled good, but also fake; this wasn't true smoke.

“Beautiful night,” I said, rubbing my claws together to fend off the chill.

“Oh, it's an amazing night. Princess Luna managed to quintuple the beauty that Celestia 'tried' to keep,” he said, chuckling.

Nodding, I sighed. Princess Luna's nights are better than Celestia's... yet the night seemed to nag at my mind... like everything else. I woke up after having a dream of Twilight writing a letter, ending with me sending it. Something nagged me about the dream, and the atmosphere of the night seemed to prod at a memory that appeared in fragments. A kiss, a roar, a dinner, and some kind of fight... I remember being hit into the air, or maybe that was just Big Macintosh's buck from earlier. I sighed, and looked back down to Halcyon.

“I take it you're Featherweight's father?” I asked, kicking at the dust.

He inhaled while shaking his head. Upon exhaling, he chuckled. “I'm dating his mother, but he's a great kid. I plan on proposing to her. Kid needs a dad when growing up, and I love this mare. Who doesn't benefit?”

“Jealous exes?” I joked.

He chortled, knocking some ash off the cigarette. “He took to photography after I showed him the ropes. Even acted as the photographer for the Foal Free Press a while back... little bugger's now the Editor-in-Chief.”

I whistled, even if I felt a pain bug my subconscious. “The event was a doozy, the last one, Diamond Tiara, was rustling a lot of ponies. Apparently, she was the cause for the continuation of the Gabby Gums biz,” I said, kicking at the sand again.

“Mmm, yup. You work for Twilight Sparkle, I take it. The dragon assistant, famous for being an actually kind dragon,” he said, inhaling.

I nodded, and he sighed. “Featherweight hasn't been the same since the deaths occurred recently. I've tried to cheer him up, but he acts like I'm not there at his mother's place.”

Pity overwhelmed my mind, and I patted him on the shoulder. “That's rough, buddy. I hope things work out for you. It always does, you just have to give him some time as well as the town to get over it.”

He inhaled once more before exhaling the smoke into the air. He looked to me with a smirk, nodding. “You're right. Thanks,” he said, dropping the cigarette onto the ground. He stepped on it, rubbing it out and stretched his hooves before walking away.

“See you around, Spike the Dragon,” he waved.

I waved my claw absent-minded, sighing. “See you around, Halcyon Blind.”

I turned and walked back towards the front door, stopping. I turned around to look at Halcyon once more, only to see him gone. In the moonlight, a small blur that resembled a flying pegasus flew. I smirked, and entered the library to finish my sleep.