The Unicorn's Notebook

by Arby

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Romance, Tragedy, Crossover, Sad
Length: 29688

Spike makes a steel resolve to discover the truth about recent deaths... at [i]any[/i] cost.

Spike was tired of hearing the lies regarding recent deaths, and how they were too mature. Going home confused and angry, he found a pink notebook belonging to Twilight Sparkle that documented an investigation towards these deaths. He made a steely resolve to discover the truth about recent deaths… at any cost.

Sequel to The Dragon's Notebook.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-17 11:22:27 UTC

Reveal

Like a missile, I sped through Ponyville with a bounce in my step. A bag bounced on my back similar to when I ride on top of Twilight. It slapped me in the rear over and over with little attention from me. I ran fast and didn't care. I swerved through crowds of ponies, brushing past the lot with as much care as I could muster... so, I practically slammed into others.

“Spike! Slow down, wait for me!” Twilight's voice shouted out far behind.

Ignoring her, I hopped over ponies like an athlete using my new found abilities. My height had increased since I was last in Ponyville, and now I felt like a brazen athletic star. Twilight and I brought the rest of the gang on a vacation. After several tragic incidents beforehand, the break was exactly what we needed. I figured I could spend my time with Rarity, doing every request she had... but there was none. The week before we left, I remember a kiss with her, but nothing more. Trying to prod for anything else hurt my head, but the kiss was all I cared about.

Whenever I offered to do something for her, she refused, merely wishing my company. We sat next to each other, ate the exotic foods, took pictures, and kissed now and then. It was perfect; spending time with her, but something was odd. Like the rest of the gang, even Twilight, she acted nervous whenever we came up to a history lesson that involved any death of some kind. They always insisted that it was boring and not worth my time, but I pressed on. It was interesting learning the more violent aspects of history; that of which we do not know dooms us to repeat history.

Every now and then, I would wake up before the others, and gently try to wake them up too. Small tent made the process a lot easier than I thought, yet sometimes they would jolt awake. Maybe they had a bad dream, but sometimes, they'd look at me and shriek before I calmed them down. I don't blame them; I've done that twice on the trip. I was in a mysterious homeland that was very savannah-like. Who knows what could have infiltrated our tent? But... this happened for them every time I attempted to wake them up. I'd ask about it, but I merely chalked it up to paranoia of a foreign land.

My body had grown to the same height as Twilight and my muscle mass developed from my grunt work to a point where I looked more like a dragon warrior. Spike the Knight... I like the sound of that. Even if the world turned against my mother, I'd be her knight until the very bitter end. Which is exactly why I left her behind; gotta check the library for danger before mother gets there.

I practically burst through the front door of the Golden Oaks Library. It startled the hay out of the temporary librarian, causing her to shriek. I landed on all fours, and she spotted me with my feral gaze. She tensed up before falling backwards, unconscious. I looked down, chuckling sheepishly.

“Oops.”

[*][*][*]

“I apologize, Mrs. Oaks. Spike was just a little too eager to return home,” Twilight said, levitating several papers into a stack.

“It's fine, Twilight Sparkle. I was expecting you any day, but Spike's grown. I wasn't used to it,” Mrs. Oaks responded, walking towards the front door.

“The little guy isn't so little anymore, and he knows it. He's been using his height to his advantage a lot,” Twilight said as she placed the papers into a folder, then placed the folder in her bag.

Twilight shot a glance toward me as I organized several books she bought on our vacation. Herb books, cook books, magick books, and she even found a study on dragons. It helped her spot several signs about my growth, and I felt nothing but pride as she explained, in great detail, how the dragons have much stronger structuring than ponies. I flexed my muscular form as I set books on shelves while Twilight conversed with the other librarian.

Mrs. Oaks was the previous librarian who wanted to retire. She got a vacation when Twilight came to check on the Summer Sun Celebration's preparations, and got an even luckier break when Twilight stayed to investigate friendship; Mrs. Oaks was done as a librarian. Even if the elder mare was glad to finally retire, she had no objections to watch the library while Twilight, the gang, and I went on vacation.

I finished putting away the new books just as Twilight showed Mrs. Oaks to the door. She left with a smile, and Twilight closed the door with relief.

“I'm so~ glad to be back home, Spike,” she said, stumbling towards a stool and slumping down into it.

I stumbled towards the stool, and fell down in front of her. “You said it, mom.”

We both groaned at the same time, exhaling as they stretched out. Twilight laid there for a few seconds before groaning again, rolling off the stool. She staggered around before standing tall and walking towards the stairs. I turned my head up just as she began walking upstairs.

“Mom, where are you going?” I asked, cracking my back as I twisted.

“I want to lay down in my own bed. A sleeping bag on various rocks and dirt for a month warrants that Twilight Sparkle and her son pass out on a proper bed,” she said, fumbling with the door to her room.

I rolled onto my front, grunting as I strained myself. “Proper bed? I live in a basket that's probably too small for me now.”

“Hmm, that is true. We'll have to get you a new bed then. We could share a bed until I do,” Twilight shouted.

Sighing, I followed Twilight upstairs into the room. Our bedroom has dust on the shelves and some in the air. Magic sounded and a window opened. The clean breeze refreshed the room causing both Twilight and I to stop and sniff the clean air. Her horn was still lit as she lifted her blankets off her bed, shaking the dust off of it. A spark shot off her horn, and a scent reminiscent of 'rocky spring' candles flooded the room, washing out the fresh scent. I frowned at the loss, but shrugged. Twilight was merely cleansing her blankets.

I turned my head, looking at the small basket that I slept in before. Once more, I felt a nagging feeling in my head. I squinted my eyes, tapping my head as I attempted to process something I clearly never had. Twilight turned to me and I clenched my eyes shut, gritting my teeth as I attempted to remember what happened.

I quickly felt forelegs wrap around me and my body lost the tense feeling. I opened my eyes and saw Twilight hugging me, and I completely forgot about what I was doing. I simply hugged her back, smiling as we nuzzled cheeks.

“Mmm, you've grown so much since I hatched you,” she said while caressing my spines.

“You have too, mom,” I responded.

She giggled followed by me. I sighed, and we released each other from the embrace. She reached up and patted my head, and walked over to her bed. She didn't even bother sliding under the blankets and fell onto the soft top. I shrugged, walked over towards the bed, kicked my basket to the side and fell down next to Twilight. We were both sprawled over the width of the bed, yet didn't care.

I glanced behind me through the exhaustion towards the direction of my bed. I felt the nagging feeling, but I shut it out in favour of relaxation. I plopped my head down to see Twilight snoring on her bed, and I sighed. Pretty soon, I fell asleep.

[*][*][*]

When I woke up, both Twilight and I coincidentally woke up at our schedule from when we were here before. I got up and stumbled downstairs after resting too long. The sun was just rising and it was really showing the nature of fall. I cracked open the window in the kitchen to allow that smokey fall scent invade the room. Like a gas, it spread out to the entire area, and I almost passed out from the neat sensations before pulling myself together.

I slapped together a breakfast of simple pancakes since that was one of the few things that didn't spoil and didn't take hours to make. After it was finished, I walked to the front door, opened it up, and picked up the Equestria Daily while mindlessly waving to Derpy whom I know just dropped it off. I passed by the stack of EQD's that we placed by the door, walking back to the kitchen the same time Twilight sat down and did the same, flipping open the newspaper, and scanning the top:

MARKET HARVEST PREPARATIONS IN FULL SWING

“Well, nothing exciting happened while we were gone,” I chortled, slapping the paper onto the tabletop.

Twilight giggled nervously as I sank my fork into the plate. I scarfed them down in record time, gladly savouring the taste of familiar food. No more berries and bugs for this dragon! Looking up, Twilight hadn't touched her pancakes at all other than a small nibble out of the top layer. She had a dazed stare into nothing, her mind clearly absent. I reached a hand forward, snapping my claws in front of her face. She snapped to attention and looked up at me.

“You kinda dazed off there,” I said, licking syrup off my plate.

She waved her hoof, apologized, then began eating the pancakes at a steady pace. I shrugged and continued eating. I turned my head towards the Equestria Daily, frowning. I looked over to a stack of recent issues read before we left, and pulled out seven; the last seven before we left on the vacation. Twilight stood up, levitating both plates over to the counter.

“Oh, I'm not done yet, mom. I made extra,” I responded.

She nodded, setting the plate on the counter anyways. Dropping her dish in the sink, she turned the water on and washed it with magic while stacking several other pancakes on my plate. I flipped the issues over, all addressing the same topic: death. It mentions that a stallion known as Blue Star was murdered the same night Rarity's boutique was robbed. There was sightings of a rampaging beast, so that indicated that an Everfree creature left the forest. Looking up at mom, I decided to ask her.

“Mom, a week before we left, was it an Everfree creature that killed that stallion, Blue Star? Was Blue Star involved in the break in at the Carousel Boutique?” I asked, showing her the issue in general.

Twilight spun around, shaking her head frantically. “Spike, no. I also don't want you to pay attention to that stuff. You shouldn't worry about it for another twenty years,” she replied, slapping the plate of pancakes in front of me.

“But-” She cuts me off by shoving a pancake in my mouth. I shrug and merrily tear the flap with my teeth, feeling the syrup sticking my lips every bite. Twilight quickly sits down, levitating all issues of Equestria Daily to her side and began reading them all at the same time. I raised an eyebrow, swallowed a chunk of pancake, and asked for one.

“No, focus on the issue you have already,” she said while blindly pointing to the newspaper delivered today.

I sigh, rolling my eyes, and begin reading the rest of the article.

[*][*][*]

I skipped my way to the Carousel Boutique like a dainty butterfly. I whistled to myself, hearing several congratulations and shouts from others as I thought of Rarity. I skidded to a halt in front of the boutique and rapped on the door.

“Just a min~ute!” Rarity's angelic voice sang through the walls.

Sighing blissfully, I leaned against the door frame. I looked outside the boutique, spotting the street in front of it. It nagged at my mind like when I look at my bed... as if I forgot something important. I completely missed the door opening and Rarity calling my name, tapping my head as I tried to provoke my mind to reveal its secret.

“Darling, are you alright?” she asked nervously from behind.

I look at the street for a few more seconds before shaking my head, turning to Rarity. “Yeah, I am. Just zoned out.”

She almost said something, stopping short of a phrase and smiling at me. “Alright. Please come and make yourself at home, I am writing a letter right now.”

Entering the building, I closed the door behind me and shuffled over to a couch, plopping down on it as I took in the room.

“Renovations look very nice as well as welcoming, especially after sitting in a tent for one month,” I exclaim, rocking back and forth on the cushions.

“Thank you, dear. I was quite pleased myself. I figured after the... ah, break in, that I could redecorate the whole building. Only mine and Sweetie Belle's room remained untouched,” she said from another room.

I open my mouth, but stop. Should I ask? I thought, looking around. I bit my lip, closing my eyes as I processed the question. Sighing, I look over to the other room.

“Rarity, I was thinking and it's fine if you don't answer, but that fellow that was killed, Blue Star. Did he break into your boutique?”

I heard something drop followed by quick hoofsteps as Rarity ran into the room and looked at me. Her expression was hard to read, but it looked like she was holding back a scared look. Her brow twitched upwards as she shook her head at me.

“No, he did not. They were two separate incidents,” she said quietly, sitting down next to me.

I frowned, looking down at the floor before back to her. “Well, who di-”

“Well, Spikey, I believe we must head to Sweet Apple Acres for a bushel of apples. Sweetie Belle will be visiting tomorrow and she enjoys that apple peanut butter,” she responded, levitating a mirror to her face and looking into it.

Sighing in defeat, I leaned to the side, resting my head against hers. “Alright, but could we wait a minute or two? I have a slight headache.”

“Alright, dear,” she responded while leaning into me.

[*][*][*]

We skipped towards Sweet Apple Acres with little regard for the rest of the world. I happily beamed my bliss to the world, but unknown to me, Rarity's smile was truly half-assed. Her mouth was shaped in a crescent while her eyes could be mistaken for lost in bliss; she was merely zoned out while I led her towards the farm.

We passed by several areas that gave me that familiar nagging feeling. I never once felt it on the vacation... was Rarity feeling it too? Looking to the side, I spotted a trail leading into the Everfree Forest. Both Rarity and I looked, and our walk slowed down to a stop. We both stared for several seconds before Rarity realized what she was doing. She moved and looked at me while I continued staring.

“Spike, let's go,” Rarity said, tugging on my arm.

I snapped to attention and looked down at her. Her eyes had an almost pleading look... and I didn't know why. Her expression seemed to beg, and I felt guilty for reasons unknown. I just felt bad that she was in this state, and I leaned forward, hugging her. I just needed a reason not to stare at this face. It gave me a terrible feeling, and I caressed her head.

“I'm sorry, you're right. We should or we'll never get there,” I said, as I released her from my embrace.

We quickly left the area as well as inner Ponyville. We trekked the dirt path where I noticed Rarity's expression... joyful. Looking at her, she wore a bright smile as we walked towards the acres. Her smile was enough to brighten up my day.

Hay, it'd even be something I'd kill for.

Walking through the apple arch, we strolled into Sweet Apple Acres brimming with glee. It wasn't long before Apple Bloom zipped out of the house towards us. She ran like a bunny, leaping with such glee and enjoyment into the air. She slapped into Rarity and I, hugging us tightly.

“Hey you guys, Ah was wonderin' if y'all f'got 'bout me! Ah've already seen th' others,” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

“No, mother and I simply fell asleep the instant we got home. I dunno about Rarity,” I responded.

She gently set Apple Bloom on the ground, patting her on the head. “I simply had business to attend to, same as today. Sweetie Belle will be coming over tomorrow, so we have time to catch up then, Apple Bloom.”

Apple Bloom pouted at us both. “Aww, you sure?”

“Sorry, we're only here for apples, Bloom,” I responded, looking around. “Speaking of which, where is your sister?”

“Workin' hard. She missed a month o' work, so she feels she has t' make up f' it. She's already bucked half th' orchard since she got back... only five days t' Applebuck season too,” she said, trotting back towards the house.

I looked up to the orchard, smiling. “Well, she'd definitely have apples to spare.”

Rarity nodded and we both walked into the orchards, hearing the sound of steady bucking coming from somewhere. We looked back and forth through the trees, hearing the steady rapping against wood. Finally, we spotted her in the orchards, bucking trees faster than normal. In the time span of ten seconds, she bucked seven trees. We jogged towards her position.

“Appleja~ck, may we borrow some of your time?” Rarity called out.

Applejack didn't stop bucking. “Jus'-” She bucked another tree. “Spit-” She ran over, bucking another. “It out!” She slapped her backhooves into another tree.

Rarity and I glanced at each other nervously before clearing our throats. “Well, we are here to acquire some apples. Because them apples are tasty,” I said, shrugging.

Applejack grunted as she switched to another tree. “Go f' it,” she spat out. “Take a bushel with ya, no charge!”

Shrugging, I skipped over to one of the buckets she just filled, lifting it up. I held it under one arm with ease. I smirked as I turned towards Rarity, raising an eyebrow while flexing my other arm. She giggled, swatting her hoof at me.

“Sorry, still getting used to the new and improved Spike,” she said as I walked over to her.

“See you, Applejack!” I shouted back.

A shout from behind was all the confirmation we needed before leaving Applejack to her work. We walked back into the front yard of the acres just as Big Macintosh walked out of the barn. Rarity glanced at him a second longer to my liking, but I didn't make a fuss. Instead, I looked at him with a curious glance of my own, looking down to Rarity.

“I'm sorry, but I need to stay for bit. I'll bring the apples with me,” I said, looking at Big Macintosh.

“Oh... um, alright dear,” Rarity responded. She stepped up and kissed me on the cheek. “See you later.”

Waving as I heard her hoofsteps, I walked towards Big Macintosh while he walked towards a shed. The acres scent blew by my nose in the breeze, and Big Macintosh turned his head, sniffing the air. As he did, he spotted me out of the corner of his eye and turned to me.

“Howdy,” he said nonchalantly as he opened up the doors.

I waved, walking up to him. “Big Mac, I have a question... or two,” I said.

He nodded, stepping into the shed. He picked up several tool boxes, setting them on various shelves before seeing one box. He nodded, picked it up, and carried it out of the shed. I gulped, wondering how to ask this. Big Macintosh trotted into the orchards, towards the Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse. He glanced back a few times, spotting me lost in thought or fumbling with words. Finally we reached the Crusader clubhouse.

On the ramp leading to the door, there was a broken plank. He picked up a nail, setting it in place with a light tap of his hoof. After he picked up a hammer, and I decided to speak up.

“About the most recent deaths in Ponyville...”

He stopped moving just before he slapped the hammer down on the nail. He slowly turned to me, and as usual, his expression was unchanged... but something definitely seemed off. It's as if the atmosphere just changed into a tragic one.

I felt somebody touch my shoulder and I turned around to see them, only to see nothing. Confused, I scanned the area quickly before gulping and looking back up to Big Macintosh.

“So, um, I read in the newspaper that somepony suspected the deaths to be murders, and I was wondering if you knew anything about them,” I replied nervously.

His eyes closed, and he sighed. “Eenope.”

Oddly enough, his rejection of the topic wasn't a plain 'eenope.' It was more like he had to think about his answer, or maybe death was just an uneasy topic. I shook my head, then looked back up to him.

“Do you know what happened the night Rarity's house was broken into?” I asked next.

Hesitating a second time, he shook his head, a little more frantically. I raised an eyebrow but brushed it off. I looked down at the apples, and thought back to the incident with the deaths. I hadn't seen Applejack that often during the time span the Deaths had occurred. I bit my lip, feeling a nervous wave wash over me. My head hurt every time I tried to process memories that clearly weren't there as if I somehow knew the truth at some point. I looked up to Big Macintosh, and sighed.

“During the time the deaths occurred, Applejack was gone a lot. Do you think she could have done it?” I asked, trailing off near the end.

I don't think I saw Big Macintosh ever move so fast. In a split-second, the hammer dropped from his mouth. I watched it fall, not even paying attention to Big Macintosh as he spun around and then I was in a world of pain. He ferociously bucked me in the chest, and I launched. I dropped the bushel of apples onto the grassy ground while I soared back five feet with no air in my lungs. I slammed into the ground, and started coughing, only realizing then that I was in pain.

I rolled over onto my side, closing my eyes to focus on the pain. I felt it nearly impossible to catch my breath as I coughed hard. Curling up into a ball was the only thing I could do while I attempted to stop. Hearing hoofsteps snapped me to attention and I rolled onto my front, struggling to push myself up to my feet. I was in a keeling position when Big Macintosh pushed me up against a tree, sending pain throughout my stomach once more.

“If you ever say that again, Miss Twilight will be out an assistant. Make m'self clear?” Big Macintosh growled at me.

I opened my eyes after the stinging subsided the best it could before Big Macintosh put more force against me. I shouted in pain, looking at the sky as he did.

“AUGH, YES! CLEAR AS WATER!” I shouted.

He released me, and I dropped to the ground, coughing once more. I clenched my belly, rubbing it while attempting to sooth the pain. The steady beating of a hammer sounded as I faced the grass. Damn, he's got a hard buck. Messing with him isn't a smart idea... at least until I've grown a few more feet. I looked over to the apples strewn about before scurrying to pick them up. Big Macintosh glanced at me before he continued hammering.

Picking up the bucket, picking up the apples, placing apples into the bucket, and standing up. I made sure I had a grip through my pain, and I looked back to the stallion as he worked. I started limping away, turning ahead.

“Have a nice day, Mr. Macintosh,” I spat out with a groan.

[*][*][*]

Rarity's house has a lovely theme when I stare at it with an open mind. A carousel; ponies going in circles like the cycle of life. Flowing and elegant as well as deep. Life is a great thing, and I had accused Applejack of taking others. I felt guilt stab me in the gut over and over again, and stumbled through Rarity's front door. I sighed, slapped the bushel on the table in her kitchen, and slumped into a chair.

“I'm so sorry, Applejack,” I muttered into my arms.

“Why are you sorry?” Rarity's voice spoke out.

I snapped back, staring at Rarity. I opened my mouth to speak before coughing, still feeling the pain in my gut from the buck. Rarity quickly caressed my back while I coughed, and eventually I stopped. I looked up to face her, and bit my lip.

“I, uh, asked Big Macintosh if Applejack was involved with the deaths,” I said solemnly.

Looking up, Rarity's face was wide eyed, jaw dropped, seen-a-ghost appalled. She raised a hoof and motioned to slap me. I closed my eyes, awaiting the hit, but nothing came. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw she put her hoof down and was staring at me with a disappointed glare. I knew she didn't like what I did, and it only added to my guilt.

“I am so, so sorry. I just wanted to know,” I said, looking down at my claws.

“Spike, these subjects are something you shouldn't bother yourself with. Leave it to the police,” Rarity responded softly. I looked up at her with pleading eyes and tried to speak, cut off by her. “I know your mind wants to understand it, but you shouldn't delve into such things. It's better not to think about such a dark and dreary subject when you can frolic with friends and family.”

I shook my head, resisting the urge to slap the desk. I felt like she was hiding something. “Don't lie to me, please. I know that the incident with Blue Star and the break in is connected, he was your old classmate. Something happened, I just know it!” I said, standing up.

Sighing, Rarity pointed to the door. “Spike, go.”

My mind was hit with sadness, and I felt myself stammering. My lips twitched, and I looked around, then back to Rarity. She had steely eyes and a stern expression, one that drove itself deep into my conscious.

“But, I'm sorry, I j-”

“Go.”

My arms trembled, and I felt my lips puckering. My eyes were stung with tears, and I looked at her. “Rarity, I lo-”

“Spike, get out of my house! We can talk when you've decided to stop this foolish obsession but until then, you are not to set foot in my boutique again!” she declared.

Defeated, I shook my head and slammed a fist against the table. The table flipped over along with the apples much to Rarity's surprise. I walked at a fast pace, nearly bumping Rarity as I made my way to the door. Throwing it open, I looked back at her without covering my tears, seeing her expression; it was teary, but not streaming as well as angered. Why was she getting so emotional over this? She practically dumped me because I was confused. Attempting to shout back, I opened my mouth before realizing I had nothing to say. I clenched my teeth shut, walked outside, and slammed the door.

Speed walking away from the boutique was step one. Step two was Celestia knows what. I felt betrayed as if she lied to me and insulted me. The tears on my face now had two sources; guilt from my accusation of Applejack as well as Rarity's choice. I stomped my way to the park, leaving several imprints in the loose dust.

The park itself was unchanged; grassy hills, grand tree, small lake, and a bench. I stumbled into the park in depression before slumping down onto a bench near the lake. Several kids ran around playing, oblivious to my own pain. That's how the world worked. If you're in pain, tough shit. The world revolves in a way that it can disregard the life of one person easily.

Rolling over, I looked up at the sky from lying down on the bench. It was clear with several large clouds flying high above. A rainbow trail zipped around, obviously Rainbow Dash. I followed the cyan blur with my eyes for a few minutes before feeling my tears subside. I only felt guilt and regret now... I ruined my entire day, and maybe even my life.

Hearing a rustling sound in the bushes behind the bench, I rolled onto my side and spotted several things had slipped through the bench. Somepony who previously sat must have lost it. I reached into the bush and pulled out three things; two receipts from the bookstore, and a purple book. It was thin, had nothing on it's back or it's spine while the cover had no title, but a line stating the owner:

THIS NOTEBOOK IS PROPERTY OF TWILIGHT SPARKLE.

“Huh, Twilight dropped this,” I said. I looked at the cover, and halfway down, a description written in Twilight's handwriting was present. I began reading it. “'A study on paranormal activity; this is confidential and should not be tampered with. If found, please direct it to Golden Oaks Library and return it to the owner. If Twilight Sparkle is unavailable, please deliver it to Spike the Dragon.'”

“'Deaths have been occurring recently and I fear for anybody who attempts to comprehend what is written here. I cannot stress danger enough. I do not wish to panic anybody who may find this if lost, but this is important and must be taken care of.'”

I leaned back on the bench, losing the receipts to the wind. I stared at the cover, running my finger over the letters and few coffee stains. I felt my mind forgetting the pain of the past day, and gasped. Something was going on, I just knew it. My friends are trying to hide it from me to... protect me? No, to forget history is to repeat it in the future. Ignorance leads to mistakes. I looked at the cover with determination.

I'm going to discover the truth about recent deaths if it's the last thing I do!

Relegation

The pink notebook was my object of interest for the next hour. I looked at the cover and skimmed the contents of the book and saw nothing. As if to mock me, the book merely confused me more. The pages were riddled with what-if's, notes scribbled about the deceased, and Rarity. It's as if Twilight has some sick obsession with Rarity and... maybe she caused the deaths?

No, that's atrocious. There is no way Twilight was responsible. She was my mother, and to thin otherwise was absolutely stupid... yet this notebook drove a stake into my brain. I felt the nagging feeling like a severe hangover whenever I thought back to the past few months. Every time my friends denied something, I felt like asked them this before, or like... a deja vu.

I was certain that something had happened and that fellow Blue Star was involved. It was a solidified fact, in my mind which was the reason why I felt like the pink notebook lied to me. It scrambled my thoughts and seemed to lead to one of my closer friends being responsible. It stated that the one that was responsible for these deaths is close to Rarity, and it's unknown whether or not the pony in question knew what he was doing. The fact of the matter is that Twilight thought something was up at some point, and now she's hiding it. To make matters worse, the notebook was missing a few pages or some pages were scribbled out entirely or stained with coffee.

What, did she dunk this book into her coffee or something? How the hay does somepony mess up a notebook that badly? Either way, potentially case-cracking evidence was ruined, and I'm stuck at the intersection of my own mind, asking myself what to trust: my gut, the notebook, or my friends.

I love them, I really do. I can't get over how amazing they are and how supportive they've been in the past. They fought against omnipotent beings in the past and an entire Changeling army... and then I start wondering if they were the cause of these deaths. As if I could somehow decipher the coffee stains, I squinted, hoping that they contained the words I could use to explain to my friends, Rarity, and my mother that something had happened while apologizing.

My mother and Rarity told me not to pursue the issue, so I should listen... but I can't. They're hiding something from me, and I'm certain that the issue isn't over. Rarity is in danger, but from who? From what? And how?

Snapping out of my internal battle, I raise my head and stare out over the park, watching school fillies rush out from the schoolhouse. Apple Bloom ran alongside Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, not a care in the world. Rarity walked up to her and Sweetie Belle lovingly hugged her, soliciting a smile from me. Apple Bloom ran up and hugged Applejack, whom appeared from behind a tree blocking my view. Scootaloo walked up to her scooter, but got off as soon as Rainbow Dash landed.

Watching the other foals, I saw that young photographer, or the new editor of the Foal Free Press, Featherweight. His limbs were so frail and skinny that I could break them, probably like toothpicks. He fluttered over to a pegasus pony that seemed familiar to me, but I couldn't remember the name. He has an innocent smile with saddlebags on his back, showing photography equipment sticking out of the flaps.

The more I stared, the more I felt certain I knew this pegasus. When a mare walked up and lovingly nuzzled Featherweight and the photographer, I felt a sharp pain in my mind reminiscent of being struck over the head. At the same time, a screeching metal noise shrieked through my mind causing my entire body to cringe, and I keeled over, almost squishing the notebook.

Panting heavily, I sat up on the bench, looked down at the notebook, then up. Inches away from my face was Featherweight himself, eyeing my curiously. I tilted my head to the side, noticing that any traces of the school fillies and their kin was completely gone. Featherweight himself seemed to have bulked up in the last five seconds; his limbs didn't seem so weak, yet still breakable. He had an admissible tag dangling from his neck while his eyes seemed studious yet brazen.

We looked at each other without exchanging words, but for some reason, I knew that he wanted me to stand up. Doing so, I looked down on the whelp and noticed how crushable foals looked. I smirked at the thought, coughing to shove the joke to the back of my mind. I sighed, and reached a claw forward, holding my arm out. He reached up to me, set his hoof in my claw, and we shook.

After releasing each others grip, he nodded his head, and fluttered away, presumably to come up with new stories for his school magazine. I waved at the whelp as he blissfully fluttered away, oblivious to my own pain as well.

“Lucky fellow,” I muttered.

[*][*][*]

Slumping back to the library with the notebook concealed within my flame breath, I sighed and pushed the door open. Twilight was inside, having done my own job of dusting and she looked over to me. She smiled at me, loosing most of her kind smile upon looking at my eyes. I instantly rubbed my eyes to dry them out entirely and removed every instance of stained cheeks.

“Hey mom, “ I said, strolling to a stool.

“Hey... are you okay?” she asked.

I almost said yes, but figured that lying won't make her trust me or see that I'm mature enough for this subject... but she had lied to me, already. I should get on her good side, though; that will make getting what she knows out easier, allowing me to understand this. It will allow me to see what Rarity had gone through... or needs to prepare for. Biting my lip, I sighed  and looked up to her, shaking my head.

“I didn't listen to what you and the others said. I asked others about the deaths, and even...” I stopped, remembering the incident with Big Macintosh.

“Spike, I said not to get involved with that! You shouldn't worry about it,” Twilight chastised.

I looked up to her, feeling the tears coming into my eyes again. I didn't listen and I accused Applejack of a heinous rime. Coarsely, I exhaled into my hands.

“I love Rarity so much, I just wanted to understand the entire scenario. I mean, something happened and I'm almost certain something happened that night,” I replied, standing up.

Twilight sighed, facehoofing as she did. “Spike, when I say something, I'm not saying it to be a party pooper or rain on your parade. I say it because I love you and don't want you to get hurt or be scared by something so scary as death... especially if it involves things around the area.”

“If I don't understand, I'll keep thinking it to be some horrible, horrible thing and then when it comes to the explanation, I'll freak out and go nuts when I think about it. You'll literally scare me to death whenever I think of death,” I said, shaking my arms. I felt the notebook bugging at my insides, but I resisted the urge to belch it out. I wanted to keep it hidden.

“It's not that, I just don't want you to get involved. An incident occurred, it's over, the last thing we need is somepony digging into it and reminding Ponyville. It's for your sake and Ponyville's sake, Spike. I know you're mature, but please, trust me on this,” Twilight responded, staring at me with a stern glare.

I felt my jaw dropping as if she lied to me again. I understood entirely, but it was so... unfair. Death of several close to Rarity scares me for sure, yeah, but I just want to know if it's more than death... but is this what Twilight means? Is she afraid of a conspiracy at work? No, this is Twilight. Celestia's student and protector of Equestria. She'd be the first to enter a conspiracy theory. The notebook itself is proof that she thought that at first... but why was it in the park? Did she lose it? Is she in the middle? Either way, she wasn't listening to me. I needed something drastic.

“I accused Applejack of being responsible for the deaths,” I muttered.

Looking down at my feet, I felt the shame washing over my mind. I looked up with my eyes, spotting Twilight's shocked expression. She grit her teeth, and shook her head while growling.

“SPIKE! What the HAY is wrong with you? How could you? How could you accuse Applejack of something so heinous as homicide?” Twilight shrieked. She stomped towards me and I instantly cowered, backing up and holding my arms out as some form of protection. I felt myself shrinking into the floor as she was now looking down on me. “Are you that dense? I said not to get involved, so what do you do? You go and accuse flippin' homicide on every Tom, Dick, and Harry around!”

Tears flowed down my face with nothing stopping them and I felt myself fall onto my back. My arms kept me leaning up as Twilight stood over me, glaring at me from above. I choked a few sobs back, feeling all that pride and growth of the past few months zapping away in my mind.

“I just wanted to understand,” I replied. Any quieter, and you'd have confused me for Fluttershy. I gulped, feeling myself fall flat on my back. “I don't want Rarity to be hurt and I'm so sorry, I was unsure.”

Twilight exhaled coarsely before stepping off from above me, and I continued staring at the ceiling. I could feel her eyes on me, watching me laid out. I rolled onto my side and curled up into a ball; just like earlier, I was on the ground, curled in a ball, feeling pain... this time, my mind was in pieces. Double-whammy. I grabbed my knees, and sobbed into them without a care for who saw me.

“I'm sorry, mom...”

I didn't scream or wail, but instead sobbed quietly like a foal hiding their pain. The notebook burned at me from inside, and I felt compelled to give it back to Twilight... but I didn't. She couldn't realize that I had it. I needed to do this since I was now alone.

“Spike,” she said calmly. I looked up to her, sniffling as I did. Her eyes were still glaring, but it was considerably softer. Her horn lit up, and I was lifted up to my feet. I rubbed my eyes with my arm until they weren't so stained, and looked at her. “I'm sorry for flipping at you like that, but... please, just wait a bit and I'll explain what happened. I'll tell you about the break in, just wait a while. I've been around Ponyville already, and they're still talking about it. Many are scared because they heard a beast that night... I need you, and the others, to stay chipper for a little while. It's complicated, but I swear on my family name that I will tell you everything at some point. It may be five days or fifty years, but I will.”

She then hugged me which automatically made do the same to her. I leaned into her, feeling my tears subside. The guilt was gone, I had admitted it to the best pony possible other than the pony in question, and my mother didn't reject me.

“Okay,” I responded.

[*][*][*]

Sighing was the only thing I managed to do for hours on end as I waited for something to do. Twilight did all of my chores during that day, so I had to live with lying around. I couldn't go to Rarity and lie... that just wasn't cool. Lying won't make things better, so I'll abide her wish for me to stay out of her boutique. She hadn't mentioned that we broke up, so it's not that... she's just a little tense. I smiled, figuring it would work out in the end.

When I heard a knock on the door, I snapped to attention and dashed towards the door. I threw it open, and prepared the motto.

“Hello, and welcome to Ponyville Golden Oaks Libra-” I stopped, seeing it was Rarity at the door. My shoulders slumped, and the conversation from earlier seeped into y mind like a parasite, latching on and absorbing my necessities such as good thoughts and happiness. “Hi, Rarity.”

She shifted uncomfortably, rubbing her hoof and averting my gaze. “Hello, Spike.”

We stood in silence for a few minutes before we both attempted to speak. We chuckled, urged the other to speak, before sighing and stopping once more. Silence continued, and I shrugged.

“Come in, sit down. I'll make us some tea,” I offered, stepping away from the door.

“That sounds lovely,” she said as she walked into the library with enough grace to make pigeons swoon.

She had seated herself at a small cushion near a table in mine and Twilight's room while I brewed the hell out of this tea. I made sure to put the best spices I could find into it while I found the best tea cup. Within minutes, the tea was ready, and I poured it into two cups, set them on a tray, and took them upstairs.

Bumping open the door was step one. Step two was Celestia knows what. I set the tray down on the table and took a cushion opposite from Rarity. She quickly sipped her tea, avoiding awkward talk. I did the same, and stared down at the liquid. I sighed, looking up to Rarity. Staring at her was like Spike's past-time. I could do it forever, taking in those luscious locks of hair, those beautiful blue eyes, the manicured hoofs... but it's not just physical. Hearing her gentle giggle, listening to her angelic voice and tales of love lost and hopes for the future. Gulping, I sighed.

“So, Twilight is out, as you can see. She won't be back for another hour,” I said, setting the tea cup down.

“Well, that's too bad. I really needed a book from here,” she responded quietly.

I nodded, looking at her directly. “I do work here. What book is it?”

She bit her lip, keeping the silence for another minute before sighing. “It's just a stupid romance novel, I don't really need it, I just wanted it.”

My shoulders drooped and apparently, my personality did as well. Rarity must have noticed it because she looked at me with regret flashing through her eyes, brow arched upward.

“Spike... Spikey-wikey, about earlier,” she started, finding the words difficult.

Knowing this would happen, I raised a claw. “I understand if you want to b-break up with me,” I said, feeling my heart tear as I said those words.

Rarity looked hurt, as she immediately shook her head no and stared at me like I killed her mother.

“Spike, of course not! One little spat between lovers does not dictate the direction of the relationship. It may make it a bumpy ride, but the best thing we can do is not stop the vehicle, but ride it out together,” she replied in a matter-of-factly tone.

My entire body relaxed from tension I hadn't known I held in. I breathed a sigh of relief, and Rarity smiled.

“I'm so glad, I thought I ruined yet another relationship for you,” I said, wiping sweat off my brow.

She stopped, staring at me with wide eyes. “Pardon?”

I looked up, realizing the meaning of what I said. I shook my claws as well as my head. “No, no, not what I mean. I mean, I thought I just drove another barrier between two close friends. I mean, I said that awful think about Applejack without even considering it. I actually asked it to Big Macintosh.”

She gasped, covering her mouth with her hoof. I merely waited for a response.

“You did not!”

“I did too.”

“And you're still alive?”

I chuckled, slapping myself in the face. “He bucked me five feet into the air, and then slammed me against the tree while threatening to 'remove Twilight of an assistant,'” I said, slumping onto my side.

She nodded, sipping from her tea as she took the info in. “I see.”

“Celestia knows he told Applejack by now. It's only a matter of time before the others know and know that I'm a sick bastard with an obsession with murder,” I said, burying my face in my claws.

Freezing up once again, Rarity stared at me with wide eyes. She shook her head, took a frantic sip of her tea, and I sat up to calm whatever nerve I tugged at. She looked away towards the ground, eyes shifting ever so slightly in thought. She glanced at me before looking back down, then sighed. She tilted her head towards me and locked eyes with me.

“Spike, I really do mean it when I say I do not want you in my boutique. Until your silly little conspiracy theory di... leaves your silly little head, I do not want you there. That does not mean that I still won't come over to see you,” she responded.

Sighing, I slumped onto the table this time. “I don't deserve your generosity after all I've done.”

Rarity bit her lip before clearing her throat. “Generosity? I banished you from my home and made you leave in sadness, how in Equestria is that generosity?”

“Any other mare would have slapped me, gotten a restraining order, requested me beheaded like a savage beast, the works. I'm a monster, after all,” I blurted out, rubbing my cheek against the table.

A white hoof slammed down on my cheek, sending vibrations through my head. I jolted upright and rubbed my cheeks. “Ow, what was that for?”

“I will not have you belittling yourself in such a derogatory manner, Spike the Dragon! If I ever hear you reduce yourself to a vile monster ever again, we are... ooh, I don't know, but mark my words, dearie, it will be so horrible that Twilight will have to write a scientific theory on how it could possibly work!” Rarity declared, slapping a hoof against the table.

I stared at her for a second with a quivering lip before nodding. “I'm sorry... at least let me keep the idiot status. Regardless of your ultimatum, I'm still looking into this, and I expect my friends and my lover to respect my decision and only to interfere when it threatens the privacy of others.”

Keeping a stern glare was great at keeping my confidence up, and apparently, it caused Rarity to think. She looked off to the side, thinking. I gulped, feeling the silence gnawing at my psyche. Finally, Rarity sighed.

“Okay, and I will not tell others what my precious idiot has decided to do regardless of the warnings... unless they ask. Deal?” she said.

I nodded, smiling. “Deal.”

She smiled, quickly finishing her tea. She licked her lips while I guzzled my own tea. Looking at her, I reminded myself of how lucky I was to have her regardless of the chaos.

“However, I still do not want you in my boutique, or anywhere near it. If you wish to speak with me, you must ask a friend to pass the message or pray that I am not at home. I also expect you to tell the others why I am not allowing you in my boutique should they ask,” she said, putting on her own steely glare.

I nodded. “Anything for you.”

Smiling, she sighed, standing up. “Spike, since I am here and Twilight is not, why don't we cuddle for a bit? I do enjoy that fireplace you have; it makes you a nice blanket and/or mattress,” she said, stretching.

I nodded, and stood up, cracking my knuckles. “That would be lovely.”

[*][*][*]

Blinking, I found the world dark as I lay on blankets surrounded by two mares; Rarity and I laid in the same position we were in when we fell asleep, while Twilight was lying behind me, snuggled up to me like a body pillow. I smirked, sighing blissfully.

“Oh son of a bi-”

My eyes twitched, and I raised my head. The voice came from outside the library, and glancing at a clock revealed it to be 11:46 PM. Sighing, I laid my head down again, trying to rest my eyes.

“Maxstallion thundercunt!”

I raised my head again, looking outside the window while expecting another shout. Nothing. I slapped my head against the bed, snorting as I felt my eyelids growing heavy again.

“Oh for the love of all things purple and demonic!”

Growling, I gently lifted myself off the bed, sliding my arm from under Rarity. The stairs were no issue, I just hopped down and dragged my feet across the ground as I swung the bedroom door open. I stumbled down the stairs, slapped my face against the door, and wiggled the handle until it opened. In my drowsiness, I fell outside onto the welcome mat, groaning. Rolling over revealed a stallion standing in the street, struggling to light a cigarette.

Struggling, I wound up on my feet and slumping over to this pony. I saw the pony up close, noticing he was the pony from earlier; the one Featherweight went up to. I saw him struggling to ignite the cigarette with a small torch, cursing as he failed. I slumped up to him, and scratched my head before clearing my throat.

Turning his head, he looked at me and gave me a warm smile. “Hello, stranger.” He looked back to his cigarette, setting it in his mouth while he fumbled with the torch. Leaning in, I watched him several more minutes until he sighed. “Great. Heh, I guess I can't have all the good luck,” he said, chuckling while he discarded the torch into a nearby trash bin.

“Uh, I can light it for you,” I offered.

He looked to me, and shrugged. He held out the cigarette and I took it in my claws, spitting out a small flame onto the tip as it began smoking from the burnt paper. I held it out and he merrily took it.

“Thanks,” he said, taking a quick puff.

I stood there in silence, waiting for nothing while I watched the stars above. A beautiful, clear night warranted I be there for some of it. I looked back down to see the pony extended a hoof to me, a wide smile on his face. I shrugged and reached out, grabbing his hoof and shook it.

“Th' names Halcyon Blind,” he said.

“Spike the Dragon,” I replied bitterly.

“I apologize, did I wake you up?” he asked, retracting his hoof.

I shook my head, waiving a hand. “Naw, I was up. You just happened to make some noise as I did.”

He nodded, taking another puff of the cigarette. He blew this puff towards the ground, which still made itself to my nose. It smelled good, but also fake; this wasn't true smoke.

“Beautiful night,” I said, rubbing my claws together to fend off the chill.

“Oh, it's an amazing night. Princess Luna managed to quintuple the beauty that Celestia 'tried' to keep,” he said, chuckling.

Nodding, I sighed. Princess Luna's nights are better than Celestia's... yet the night seemed to nag at my mind... like everything else. I woke up after having a dream of Twilight writing a letter, ending with me sending it. Something nagged me about the dream, and the atmosphere of the night seemed to prod at a memory that appeared in fragments. A kiss, a roar, a dinner, and some kind of fight... I remember being hit into the air, or maybe that was just Big Macintosh's buck from earlier. I sighed, and looked back down to Halcyon.

“I take it you're Featherweight's father?” I asked, kicking at the dust.

He inhaled while shaking his head. Upon exhaling, he chuckled. “I'm dating his mother, but he's a great kid. I plan on proposing to her. Kid needs a dad when growing up, and I love this mare. Who doesn't benefit?”

“Jealous exes?” I joked.

He chortled, knocking some ash off the cigarette. “He took to photography after I showed him the ropes. Even acted as the photographer for the Foal Free Press a while back... little bugger's now the Editor-in-Chief.”

I whistled, even if I felt a pain bug my subconscious. “The event was a doozy, the last one, Diamond Tiara, was rustling a lot of ponies. Apparently, she was the cause for the continuation of the Gabby Gums biz,” I said, kicking at the sand again.

“Mmm, yup. You work for Twilight Sparkle, I take it. The dragon assistant, famous for being an actually kind dragon,” he said, inhaling.

I nodded, and he sighed. “Featherweight hasn't been the same since the deaths occurred recently. I've tried to cheer him up, but he acts like I'm not there at his mother's place.”

Pity overwhelmed my mind, and I patted him on the shoulder. “That's rough, buddy. I hope things work out for you. It always does, you just have to give him some time as well as the town to get over it.”

He inhaled once more before exhaling the smoke into the air. He looked to me with a smirk, nodding. “You're right. Thanks,” he said, dropping the cigarette onto the ground. He stepped on it, rubbing it out and stretched his hooves before walking away.

“See you around, Spike the Dragon,” he waved.

I waved my claw absent-minded, sighing. “See you around, Halcyon Blind.”

I turned and walked back towards the front door, stopping. I turned around to look at Halcyon once more, only to see him gone. In the moonlight, a small blur that resembled a flying pegasus flew. I smirked, and entered the library to finish my sleep.

Results

The following day, I found myself explaining to Twilight why Rarity was there. She wasn't angry, but she was sad she couldn't use a blanket, hence the close contact. After that was sorted out, Rarity and Twilight conversed while I threw together some kind of breakfast, I'm not too sure. I just wanted to get it done whether it was edible or not. It wound up being the same as before; pancakes. What is it with pancakes, I'll never know.

Serving Rarity and Twilight was simple enough. What would usually be my extras went to Rarity, so I had to make due with my small portion. I kept staring into space while I ate, lost in thoughts regarding the next few days. I had to understand this chaos, but Celestia knows that I had gotten nothing achieved other than give myself some kinda motivation.

I tuned out the girls chatter, thinking back to the previous day. Halcyon Blind... the memory of him... just him, didn't leave a nagging feeling but it tugged at my chest. Or maybe that was Big Macintosh, I don't freaking know. Either way, I have select areas in town where I have this nagging feeling, and it seemed to intensify. Halcyon Blind had something heavier than the nagging, yet it was more tolerable.

“Spike, I'm going out for a bit,” Twilight said, breaking me out of my trance.

I nodded, waving to Twilight as she stood up from the table. Rarity did as well making me look up with a pout.

“I must be going, too. I hadn't planned on falling asleep, so I must return. Sweetie Belle will be coming over today and I need to clean up,” Rarity said, dabbing her lips with a napkin before standing.

“Ah, I can help if you wa...” I caught myself saying, stopping short. A saddened glance from Rarity drove the point home that the previous day actually happened while Twilight's confused glance told me that I'm a lying ass. Nodding, I smiled at her. “Have a nice day.”

“See you later, sweetie,” Rarity said, leaning forward and pecking me on the cheek.

My face reddened, and I looked down at my plate of pancakes; untouched and cold. Sighing, I waved absent-minded at the departing girls as I sunk a fork into the pancakes. I felt tears pricking my eyes which I fought off easier than previously. The guilt had passed, but I still felt sad. Verity kept me frosty and aware of my situation, the days of youthful reveries passed. I didn't even finish my pancakes before spitting on them, tossing the food into the garbage, and leaving. I no longer felt hungry.

[*][*][*]

I walked through Ponyville with the pink notebook in my claws. Flipping through the first several pages, Twilight had listed the deaths of any and every pony she could discover that had been involved with Rarity at some point from a simple “hello” to a lover. She rounded them down to her royal infatuation: Prince Blueblood. He sickened me to no end, but it still sucks that he was dead. Knowing somepony in your life was gone felt weird... it nagged at your mind.

Looking through, Twilight deduced that every death from Blueblood up to this Golden Shutter were involved. After that, I saw speculation and theories that were later crossed out. I decided to read the book at intervals; using the coffee stains, I managed to separate the book into three parts. Part one was speculation regarding the deaths and solidifying them as being involved with Rarity. The verdict? Unsure; she listed 'strange coincidence' or 'murder by proxy.'

Each and every word placed struck me as a reminder of memories non-existent. I kept thinking back to the times where I felt the nagging feeling in my mind. Thinking about the moments as well as the areas several months ago... it feels like there's a gap in my memory, like something important just vanished from my mind. One day, I'll have been eating toast, then later on, whabam, crying in Twilight's forelegs. The jump was insane on some days, but mostly severe on one night.

The night I took Rarity out on a date, a week before we left on the vacation and the same night her boutique was broken into. I remember the restaurant, then remember waking up the next morning in Rarity's... and Twilight's embrace. What the hay happened in between? Maybe it just wasn't as significant, but waking up in a bed with Rarity and my mother meant something had occurred. I don't even get a hint or suspicion... it's just gone, and that is why I'm here.

I know something happened, and this book... it confused me. It didn't answer my questions. It made them more complex and in depth. It razed my curiosity and drove me to intolerable impatience as if I were waiting for an answer from Elysium. Sighing, I stumbled to a park bench, slumped into it, and immediately got called out.

“Hello, friend!”

Turning my head, I spotted Halcyon Blind sitting on the bench, holding a cup of presumably coffee. He raised his coffee as if to say, “I said that.” Nodding my head, I waved.

“Hey.”

He took a quick sip of his drink, satisfactorily ah'ing in delight. He looked to me, smirking. “How are ya?”

I leaned forward, looking down to the ground as I clasped my hands together. “I've been better.”

“I hear ya. Rough day, rough week, or rough life?” he asked.

“Rough everything. Got a bit of confusion in my life, really trashing me inside, but not enough to deter me from my job,” I responded, leaning back and crossing my legs.

He took another sip. “What job do ya do?”

“I work for my mother, Twilight Sparkle, as an assistant,” I responded.

“Your mother is Twilight Sparkle?”

I nodded, smiling happily as I remember the day I proclaimed her so.

“It's odd; wonderful, but... well, she's the princess' protoge! You're a lucky guy,” he responded. “I've heard of Twilight Sparkle and did my research on her enough that I'd only need to nail the social aspect to declare that I know everything about her.” I glanced at him from the side, and he chuckled. “Figuratively speaking.”

“Right. Well, what do you do?”

He smiled happily, sighing. “I worked as a photographer a few months ago, but after an unfortunate falling out with somepony, I was coaxed into retiring. Now, I'm taking a – hopefully – temporary job as a weather pony. I'm on my break.” He took another sip of his drink.

“Featherweight is lucky to have an experienced colt teaching him. When did you start?” I asked, wiggling the pink notebook.

“About a year ago.”

I nodded, smirking. “Right, well, good luck with your job. I know Rainbow Dash and how tough she can be on her workers... when she's into her job, that is.”

He exhaled, rubbing his hoof through his mane. “Tell me about it.” Sipping his coffee once again, he looked over to me. “I actually started as a weather pony the same night that Twilight's friend, Rarity, had a break in at her business.” My attention turned over to him instantly, and I felt my curiosity threatening to break through. “The skies were nice and clean; I was in the night-shift when I actually heard chaos elsewhere in the town.”

“What do you mean by chaos?” I asked, hoping I masked my desperation.

He whistled, leaning forward. “Some kinda brawl happened. A wild beast roared and I heard somepony shout several times... magic, too! I'd say a Royal Guard wrestled an Everfree creature. There were shouts about some 'note' or whatever.” He took a large guzzle of his coffee.

Confusion stabbed me in the head like a knife, sending pain through my spine. I cringed, and keeled over on the seat. Battle? And... note? What is he talking about? What happened that night? Looking over to him after the pain subsided, I gulped. “Note?”

He coarsely exhaled after gulping down the liquid, presumably due to the heat. “Yeah. There was screams coming about some 'notebook.'”

I looked forward, staring ahead of me to the location of the Carousel Boutique. Zoning out was the first thing I did. Staring forward, the words ran through my head.

Rarity... ponies close to Rarity... death... brawl with an Everfree creature... roar... note...

I sat up slightly, as if leaning back would help me see the boutique better.

Ponies close to Rarity... death... roar... note...

My nose scrunched up and I felt a migraine shooting through my head.

Death... no-

“Well, I better head back before ol' captain Dash rings me for the week. Got a family to support,” he said, tossing his cup into a nearby book.

I snapped out of my daze and looked to him just as he stood up and fluttered his wings. He did a quick stretch and smiled. He turned to me, waiving.

“See ya around, friend!” he said before taking off into the sky.

I waved, uneasily shifting as I watched him fly. He seemed to hesitate as he did, his head twitching unnervingly so. Y'know, looking at his attitude... he always seemed shifty and twitchy. His head twitched every few seconds as if he had an injury... it was definitely unnerving for me because of how calm and casual he acted. There's definitely more to him than what's visible.

Sighing, I stood up, and stretched my arms, feeling my bones crack as I did. My joints popped satisfactorily, and I remembered how awkward the last few days have been. I looked back to the skies, watching as he seemingly vanished behind a cloud. I raised an eyebrow, remembering our conversation.

“Death, and... notes? What do notes have to do with this?”

[*][*][*]

Walking back towards the library as per my usual nothing-to-do as of late, I spotted several colts laughing obnoxiously as they strolled through Ponyville. No pony payed any attention to them, though... except for me. They passed through a street on Ponyville, surrounded by ponies yet nopony noticed. I stopped paying attention quickly, their attitudes starting to make me chuckle. Not many ponies can go out in public like this and make a laughing stock out of themselves, yet it did make Ponyville look bad. Ah well.

I glanced back over towards the three obnoxious stallions had vanished. I shrugged; ponies like them often wind up being dubbed the idiots of society because they trick themselves into believing they deserve more than they do. It's why Rarity had been fooled before when looking for her ideal colt. The idiots were able to fool her into believing they were good and honest with their petty hoofball trophies or greasy manes... not anymore. I finally have a chance to prove that love isn't restricted to the stereotypical or the ponies.

Regardless, I'm awfully good at getting kicked out of the boutique.

[*][*][*]

Walking into the library left me questioning why I left in the first place. Maybe I just needed the walk... oh well. Back at home, I decided to use my resources appropriately. I remembered Twilight had read up on death previously, Downfall the Dark's Definitive Discoveries on the Dastardly Defect of Life: Death, Vol 1. The title stuck out mostly due to its lengthy alliteration, and the fact that it had to do with death. Another one that stuck out was Avatar's of Death; a book detailing the many forms of death. Those two books could help me come up with a theory, so I quickly grabbed them from the shelves of the library and sat down on Twilight's bed, and looked at her research notebook.

THIS NOTEBOOK IS PROPERTY OF TWILIGHT SPARKLE.

Looking at the cover gave me an odd sense of deja vu, but for the sake of reading I ignored it. Flipping open the cover, I shifted through the pages, arriving at one point in the book that I was interested in. It was near the end of the first part of the book, aka the first coffee stain. The section mentioned the supernatural aspect of death; the stories of the grim reaper and whatnot. After the Zecora incident, she decided to check out the supernatural things regardless of what happened.

“Tarot Cards, Death's List, Grim Reaper, Gods of Death, Notebook of Death,” I said to myself, reading a page full of comparisons. The things having to do with a reaper or physical being known as Death all had question marks while three ways to kill are circled: Tarot Cards, Death's List, and the Notebook of Death. “Notebook of Death... Note of Death... Death's Notebook. Death Note.”

The instant I said that, I heard a metal screeching reminiscent of a goddamn train wreck. Impossible pain shot through my neck and my entire body's nerves and I dropped the notebook. I began to writhe in pain as my body contorted and began to violently contract and detract my muscles at will. The pain was enough to make any normal pony go into shock, but unfortunately for me, dragon. So I fell off the bed, letting out silent screams as my eyes viewed a world my mind didn't register. I couldn't focus on anything but the pain, and after a few minutes, the pain almost instantly vanished.

“What was that?” I asked myself.

[*][*][*]

Following my non-fatal seizure, I instantly hid the book under a stack of clothes that I owned, specifically my suit for fancy occasions, and went with my day. Fear of that intense pain kept me in check and made me focus on work more than ever before. I turned into a machine that did the dishes, laundry, dusting, sweeping, and every chore created in the past three centuries in the library. After I was done, it didn't look like the same library. Instead, it looked clean enough that you could eat off the floor. I even applied varnish to some wooden furniture. By the time Twilight returned that day, I already fell asleep in her bed.

The next day, I travelled back to the park. Same time as the previous day, with the very same notebook. I started reading part 2 of the notebook, finding more notes scribbled down that debunked other males being involved with Rarity. Every time I saw her name, I considered talking to Rarity about it, but after her response, as well as Big Macintosh's response, talking to others could prove fatal.

Minutes later, Halcyon Blind landed next to the bench and sat down, holding another coffee. The label read “Blue” and it had a star on it. “Type B” was a new cafe made in Ponyville, the site where a gruesome accident occurred months ago to the Golden Shutter fellow. The memory always made me feel somewhat depressed. I was right there, and I could have saved him and for some reason, I felt guilty. Shaking it off, I continued staring at his cup. Looking at his face seemed to be difficult, so I settled.

“Hello, friend,” he said, taking a sip.

I nodded and looked back down to the pink notebook. I concluded the page reading a paragraph about how Twilight resented the one behind the deaths if there is one. She was still dabbling in the “Is this murder?” topic, but she strongly hinted that Tarot Cards as well as a Notebook of Death was responsible if it was supernatural murder. The inclusion of a supernatural being of death itself was unknown.

“How's life?”

Sighing, I clapped the book shut and leaned back on the bench. “Swell. I feel like I forgot something, and whenever I try to remember it,” he paused to think of the previous night, “I am in severe pain.”

He nodded, sipping his coffee. “Fair 'nuff, pardner. Ah don't believe that one can jus' remember somethin' he f'got that easily. Y'all gotta fight for it.”

What? Looking up and towards him, he didn't seem phased by what he just said. He closed his eyes to enjoy a gulp of his beverage and halfway through, he opened one curiously to the silence, and saw my expression. Gulping down the drink, he let out a satisfactory “ah” and continued looking at me.

“Something stuck in my teeth?” he responded accent-free.

I shook my head with an open mouth, and looked ahead of me. The school was visible, and the bell had rung. Fillies and foals ran off in excitement. The Cutie Mark Crusaders dashed out with glee, and Featherweight left the school, seemingly depressed. I raised an eyebrow and spoke.

“Hey, you should go check out Featherweight. He seems down,” I said.

I glanced to the right to find any trace of Halcyon Blind being there gone. No rustling, he wasn't in the skies, or even in the bush. Looking around the area, he just sort of... vanished. I looked back to the school and saw the lot completely empty.

“Those kids just booked it,” I said, chuckling.

[*][*][*]

3 AM, can't sleep. Grumbling, I rolled out of Twilight's bed as carefully as possible, and luckily, Twilight wasn't disturbed. She rolled a bit, humming in her sleep, which allowed me to go enjoy a midnight snack as well as a quick read. Tiptoeing downstairs was easy, and I quickly grabbed a small bowl of jewels and Twilight's notebook. Betraying her trust wasn't like me, but I had to discover this since the others were reluctant. Rarity reacted in such a way that makes me not wanna tell Twilight. She also doesn't seem to realize that it's missing...

Sitting down in the window allowed me to use the moonlight to illuminate my page. Curled up, book on my lap, and bowl of jewels next to me, and I was comfy. I munched away as I read through the second part of the book, stopping to read the notes Twilight left, addressing the danger to her friends if this was murder.

Carefully and slowly, she managed a soft gradient from “Is this murder?” to “Which murder tool was involved?” to “Is there a murder deity at work?” It was interesting to see Twilight go from complete disbelief to totally convinced with the whole murder bit... but it made it more chilling. It was murder at play. My friends did lie to me and cover it up... and Rarity was in danger. But that's the thing.

Was. All of this happened in the past, yet it stopped. Why? How did it stop? When did it stop? Who did it? What happened? No newspapers had explained it. The deaths just stopped one day and everypony ignored it. My friends are acting shifty, especially Twilight and Rarity. Speaking of Twilight... the day we left for the vacation, she seemed uneasy when I looked at that basket. I told Twilight I was donating the basket, but every time I looked at it, I felt that weird, scary sensation, so I burned it shortly after I found this notebook.

One pony wouldn't lie to me, no matter what. And if she does, I'll bug her until she reveals the secrets. Big Macintosh can't stop me, Twilight can't stop me, and neither could Rarity. I'm getting to the bottom of this no matter what.

[*][*][*]

The walk to Sweet Apple Acres was pleasant. I have no ill mind-nagging sensations from before, so Sweet Apple Acres is a nice retreat. The only thing that kept me from coming here before was the fact that Big Macintosh bucked me hard enough to stop. I figured before I talk to Applejack, I should find Big Macintosh and apologize for what happened.

I stepped into the acres and began a quick search for Big Macintosh. Bucks echoed in the wide expanse creating a constant clicking sound reminiscent of woodpeckers. The only difference was that these “clicks” were due to good ol' F=ma extracting apples from trees.

Big Macintosh's buck itself was dangerous. I could tell that, had I been a normal pony, I would have a shattered sternum. Gulping, I approached one of the sources of the clicking, feeling my heartbeat quicken. Passing by tree after tree began to blend the moment together and I soon found myself lost. Either way, a quick shout or signal fire would ensure I was found.

Regardless of the blending, I found myself approaching an area of the acres with trees recently bucked. In the distance, many gruff grunts could be heard; Big Macintosh was close. I began to sweat a bit, and silently prayed that I could survive past this moment. I quickly retrieved the notebook and continued down the current path. The clicks got louder and louder until I cross a hill. Big Macintosh was at the bottom, and he was hard at work.

Gulping and deciding I was past the point of no return, I stumbled down the hill until I was able to walk normally and stopped several feet away from Big Macintosh. He seemed to notice my presence, probably due to my growth; I still can't get over the fact that I look down on him. He looked at me with a dull expression, as usual, and didn't prepare himself for another buck. He merely stared me down, waiting for me to speak. Any words I had thought to speak with were gone. I decided to start simple.

“Afternoon, Mr. Macintosh,” I said, hearing my voice crack on 'Mister'. He nodded his head, and I felt a bit of relief. The tension was still present. His glare reminded me of the impact, which I could still feel. Instinctively, I reached up and rubbed the area where he hit me. His eyes seemed to soften as I did, and I cleared my throat.

“I'd like to apologize for what I said.” I felt tears building up in my eyes, although I'm not sure why. Fear? Or... no, guilt was definitely there. I still can't believe I, even for one second, thought that Applejack would murder, let alone be the killer from months ago. “I had no right to say it, and...” Tears came down my face and I felt myself start to choke on my voice. I was merely apologizing for something, but I felt more guilt than I should... as if I actually attacked Applejack. Or maybe I was just realizing that Big Macintosh was gonna kill me. “I'm sorry.”

His expression remained stoic as ever, but he gently nodded his head. I still couldn't stop feeling shame from what I said, which is expected, but the sheer volume of it was odd.

“Did Ah break anythin'?” he asked.

I frowned and put pressure on my chest. I still felt the pain, probably because my soft underbelly was bruised, but nothing actually broke. I shook my head. “No, but it did feel like a lung collapsed.”

“Ah'm sorry,” he said.

I waved my hand with a nod, and felt like I should mention the other reason I was here. “I also wanted to speak to your sister.” Another glare from Big Macintosh reinstalled the fear I had before. “Err, I'm not gonna ask any awkward questions, just need to settle my innocent curiosity.”

Silence between us seemed to last a while before he nodded his head. I never bothered to stay there as the fear continued soaring high in my mind. I turned and speed-walked through the acres to find Applejack. All I had to do was follow the clicking and I found Applejack with ease. She was bucking away, the same as Big Macintosh. I approached her, but kept my distance.

“Excuse me,” I said meekly.

Applejack stopped mid-buck and faced me. She smiled large. “Well howdy, Spike,” she said with gusto.

I nodded my head. My manners were incredibly lacking lately, but who could blame me? Constant fear griped me. I felt the notebook tingling in my chest, but I attempted to ignore it. Opening my mouth, I fumbled with several words before I sighed.

“I'm sorry, I was gonna ask something,” I said, turning to walk away.

“Well, shoot. Ah've got nothing t' hide.”

Turning to her, I figured I had to abuse her position if I wanted my answers. “You'll answer no matter what the question is? Answer right away, honestly? This one question?” She gave me a confused stare while she nodded, and I sighed. “What happened to the one responsible for the deaths several months ago?”

Her expression shifted several times, but it wasn't enough to make me retract my question. I glared at her, and she settled on an expression of fear; wide eyes, jaw dropped, and she began to fumble with words. It was clear she knew the answer... or at the very least knew something about the incident. Just like me, she let out a long, drawn out sigh after a while and looked me dead in the eye.

“The one responsible for the deaths was a monster. Th' varmint has since been reformed,” Applejack responded.

A monster? I focused my gaze on Applejack, spotting something on her neck. A long, thin scar on her neck. I felt my heart skip a beat as I realized she knew more than she was letting on.

“Who was involved?” I asked.

“Spike, Ah said Ah would answer 'one' question,” she said.

I stared at her as if my gaze would somehow change her mind. After several seconds of what was probably glares at each other, I looked away, sighing.

“Thank you.” I spat bitterly, quickly turning to walk away. After I walked several meters, Applejack spoke up again.

“Spike, there are reasons why nopony is talkin' 'bout th' incidents. Ah suggest ya listen to Twilight if she tells ya t' stop.”

I continued walking with what she said playing in my mind. A monster...

[*][*][*]

At home, I found myself unable to sleep once more. Twilight laid in bed while I fumbled around the library, killing time. I wanted to read more of her research data, but after the talk with Applejack, I began to comprehend the severity of the incidents. A monster, supernatural deaths, considerations regarding a god of death; the entire thing finally started to register as being dangerous in my mind. It still doesn't explain my apparent insomnia.

Sighing over and over provided no help and I decided to suck it up and read the research notebook. Sitting myself down in the same position with last night as well as the rest of my jewels, I began reading with the moonlight illuminating the book. I finished up part 2, only discovering that Twilight herself was certain something supernatural was at play. The latest death marked in the book then was a fellow who worked in Manehatten. Part 3 of the book started off with more speculations and rumours.

“Gods of Death could be involved.”

“Tarot cards; unlikely.”

“A long-range spell capable of instigating cardiac arrest within a pony as evident with Blackhoof's death.”

“Legend of the killer notebook could apply; most likely a name and face required for murder and at the very most a cutie mark.”

Humming to myself, I continued reading like a leisurely rest until I came up to a page speculating about this notebook of death. It stuck out, mostly because it was dated after the night Blue Star was murdered... after the break in. Actually, Twilight wrote it in a way that it seemed like fact.

“'The pony whose name is written in this notebook shall die'; proven. Death can be specified. Losing ownership results in memories of notebook to be gone from the owner.”

Reading those lines over and over again... it sounded familiar. It certainly did, like I knew these 'rules' somehow. I munched on gems as I continued reading the 'rules' and came upon one word that made me freeze.

“It's official. The worst murder weapon in history was responsible for these deaths. Class: Supernatural. Name: Death Note.”

My mind didn't screech or pain me at all. I felt a small tugging at my mind that never vanished. A light tug that seemed to increase in force... until I realized that was just gravity taking over. I fell off the window ledge and landed on the ground, injuring my shoulder and dumping my jewels all over the floor. The book landed next to my head, and I focused on it. I felt no pain from the impact. I felt no sharp stinging at my mind at the mention of this Death Note. As a matter of fact, I couldn't feel anything at all. I could move my eyes, but they remained focused on the research notebook. My mouth was moving, and I could feel my vocal chords working, but I never registered what I was saying.

Did I just die?

Relax

My entire body was sore from the impact and my sleep held no reverie for me. I was sore throughout the sleep and I woke up in the same position, probably hours later. It was morning and the research notebook laid next to my face, the bowl of gems splattered all over the ground. I laid on the ground for a while before hearing a door upstairs. Quickly, I retrieved the Unicorn's notebook and saw a nearby bookshelf. Snatching the first book I saw, I slapped it next to me, noticing a second after I did that it was an astronomy book. A set of hooves was heard, then stopped before turning into a gallop.

“Spike!?” Twilight's voice frantically called out as she leaned down next to me.

I mumbled words, which could be considered good acting. I was just unable to move my entire body. I couldn't feel any of my limbs in the sense that I couldn't move them, but I could feel it when Twilight touched me.

“Spike, are you okay!?” she frantically asked, scooping me up.

“Hnng, berry jewel pancake bladder,” I said.

No, I said 'very painful stinging in my body,' I thought.

“Talk to me! What happened?” She caressed my face with one hoof while the foreleg wrapped around me prodded my torso. “Your entire body is limp, I think you may have had a neck injury. Can you feel my touching?”

I nodded my head and she sighed. She leaned her head forward, touched her horn to the tip of my spines, and it lit up. I felt my entire body enveloped in a calm aura reminiscent of a warm bath or soft bed. It was like I was being soaked, yet dry at the same time. It was pleasant... for a second.

Extreme pain shot through my body, but no scream came. It focused not in my neck, but in my head. The same place where I've had that nagging feeling and where that sharp pain drove itself into my body.

“MOMMY!” I shouted the instant I could. “I think my spine just quit on me!”

“Spike, I was correct. You had a neck injury, and the injury itself was something you should have felt it somewhere inside your head, correct?” Twilight asked. Blinking, I nodded dumbly. Twilight smiled, but it quickly faded. “Simply... oddly enough, it wasn't caused by the impact. The area with the most damage was inside your head. I don't know what it was, but if I waited any longer, it could have been fatal.”

I stared up at her with an open mouth. “Mother, I have no idea what you're saying. To me, it sounds like I've had some mystery injury in my brain that started a while ago and was screwing me over.”

“Precisely,” Twilight said, lifting me up to my feet. “I'd also appreciate if you never said that word again.”

Rubbing my temples, I looked around the room before facing Twilight again. “So how did it happen?”

Twilight shrugged, and I sighed. “I'm not sure. It may have been from an injury such as a hit to the head or neck... or maybe even magical.” Twilight froze up the instant she said that and covered her mouth. Glancing up to her, I raised an eyebrow out of curiosity and she looked down to me. “H... how do you feel?”

I stood up, shook myself off, and looked at the gems. “I feel fine, I guess.” Scooping up the bowl of gems, I began munching on them once more. “Never better, actually.” The Death Note business still freaks me the hell out. That's when I decided to take a break; rest easy, for a change.

“Mother, I think I'm gonna take a break for a while. Maybe walk around Ponyville,” I said, stretching.

Her face lost it's nervous glimmer and she awkwardly smiled at me, nodding. The atmosphere of the library at the moment was thick and heavy, reminiscent of severe tension. I gulped, practically tasting it; the lack of a response rusted into my mind, leaving an imprint that something was off. For the sake of my upcoming day, I ignored the odd feeling.

“Okay.” She looked around quickly as I picked up the other book. “S-so, you're reading an astronomy book?”

I looked down at it, realizing once more that it was astronomy. I looked at her and sheepishly grinned, nodding.

“Yeah, I just love me some astronomy, mommy,” I said, jamming the book back into the shelf.

Twilight winced as I did, much to my amusement, and I patted her on the head. She sighed, standing up and heading towards the stairs. Taking in the smell of the oak-scented air, I stashed the bowl in the kitchen and opened the door.

“Be back by 9:30 PM!” Twilight's voice echoed from upstairs.

“Gotcha,” I shouted back before stepping into the crispy morning air.

[*][*][*]

Strolling into town, I mindlessly noticed that there was some kind of fair being set up. I only returned days prior, so I had no idea... but it would have been nice to know sooner. I had my bits hidden away the same way I held books and papers now. The practice really payed off for my skill to the point where this is simple and easy for most small objects. Still don't know how babies fare.

Nonetheless, I saw that the attractions and rides was a simple Fall Fair. In several days, we'd have to deal with the Running of the Leaves again. I saw this as an ample opportunity to woo Rarity, so I made haste towards the Carousel Boutique... before I realized it was seven in the morning. I stopped just short of her doormat, and slapped myself before turning around.

Strolling through Ponyville, I relished in the scent of fall; wet and/or burning leaves, maple being exposed, and the sounds of rustling leaves etched itself into my mind. This was one of they joys of coming to Ponyville; the nature. I automatically headed for the park and sat down on the same bench from before. I leaned back, allowing my head to tip over the back. The skies were being cleared by several Pegasi from the Weather Team, minus Rainbow Dash. I spotted Halcyon Blind stopping as he bucked a cloud from existence. He leaned back on one cloud and looked over the edge, meeting my gaze.

He nodded at me and I did the same and before I could register, he angled his forelegs in a position that one could snap another pony's neck in, and twisted it. When I did register the gesture, I raised an eyebrow, mentally noting how cryptic the scene was. Looking down revealed the school, more visible as leaves fell to the ground. The bell rang once more, confusing me. Looking back up at the skies, the sun was much higher in the sky. I blinked as I saw the skies completely void of Pegasi, inhabited by rebel balloons floating away from the grasp of children. Looking down, foals and fillies flooded out of the school.

“Hey, friend,” the familiar crisp voice sounded next to me.

Looking to the right, Halcyon Blind sat down next to me, holding the same cup of coffee from before. Raising an eyebrow, I blinked several times and as I opened my mouth to say hi, I yawned.

“Hi,” I responded. Looking back to the school, it was already void of life, replaced by dust and echoed screams. I turned back to Halcyon and stared him down. “So, uh, what was that... thingy from earlier today?”

“Hmm?” He took a sip of his drink.

Slurp. That goddamn slurping noise was starting to get to me... but so was nature, and sounds of joy. Happy screams and cries of joy radiated through the atmosphere and for some reason, they seemed louder than normal. I found myself falling to the side, but I shook my head and faced Halcyon again.

“That thingy you did on the cloud,” I said, hearing my voice crack.

I must be tired.

“I don't know what you're talking about, friend.” He took another sip. “Well, anyways, there's some fair today. You gonna go to it?”

Nodding, I rubbed my heavy eyelids. “Yeah, what about you? Taking Featherweight and your girlfriend?”

He shook his head. “No. Well, sorta. Featherweight wanted to stay home. I'm merely taking my girlfriend.” He looked away, looking to the skies with a solemn look. “His father died several months ago. A rainstorm caused him to take temporary shelter under a scaffolding. Part of the roof broke off, and, well . . . tragedy.”

I felt my eyes arching upwards, guilt hitting my consciousness. Whenever you hear a sad tale, one always feels guilt and pity. I looked down between my legs towards the dirt ground. I felt myself nodding off slightly from the lack of sleep. I shook my head and looked up to him.

“I'm taking my marefriend to it, at least I hope.” If she's not angry at me.

“Young love is nice,” he said. With a quick crumple of the cup, he threw it into a nearby trash bin and stood up. “Well, I'll see you around, friend.”

I waved at him, not bothering with a goodbye. He nodded and took off into the sky, leaving here on my lonesome.

He seems weird, I thought, biting my lip.

[*][*][*]

Discovering I slept until 3 pm, I strolled towards the Carousel Boutique and knocked on the door without hesitation. Within seconds, Rarity threw open the door, swooped me up into her forehead, and peppered me with kisses.

Actually, that was just a daydream. In reality, I knocked on the door, staggered to the ground, and was dragged in by Sweetie Belle. She slapped my cheek until I realized what was happening. Sitting on a couch, with an odd feeling in my mind. I looked around as if I was being watched.

“Spike, what are you doing?” Sweetie asked, waving a hoof in my face.

Yeah, what was I doing? I shook my head and focused on her. “Hey, uh, is Rarity here?”

Sweetie Belle hopped off the couch and shook her head. “Mm, nope. She left to the fair to find you,” she said.

Slapping myself in the face, I sighed coarsely, dragging my fingers down my face.

“Ugh, today isn't straightforward at all.” I slid off the edge and ran towards the door, sliding to a stop. Doing one last turn, I faced Sweetie Belle. “Aren't you going?”

“Mmm, nope. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo aren't, so I don't see why I should,” Sweetie responded.

I looked out the door before sighing. “Sweetie Belle, you could come with Rarity and I. I mean, she is your sister. You HAVE to have some fun.”

Immediately, her face lit up and she hopped in the air. “REALLY!?” she shrieked, much to my pain. “YAY!” She galloped out the door, leaving me in my daze.

I quickly closed the door and followed the dust trail that was once Sweetie Belle. Running was rather... odd, today. The constant paranoia of being watched etched itself into my mind recently, and the odd encounter with Halcyon Blind was rather unnerving. Passing through Ponyville's barren streets with only the cries of joy to differentiate the atmosphere... it was chilling in a way that can only be described as a graveyard. Ominously laughing children, barren streets and faint music.

I saw Sweetie Belle bouncing up and down next to Rarity, both whom had their eyes set on a ring tossing game. I ran over there, stopping next to the two of them.

“Why, hello, darling,” Rarity beamed as she saw me.

Turning to face her, I gave her a quick hug and faced the game. “Tried this yet?”

“Yes I have, and it's hooves-only game, so I'm not faring too well,” she said. I turned to it, smugly smirking at the owner of the stand, and cracked my fingers. “Spike, I don't mean to be rude or insulting, but are you eating well? You look skinnier than usual.”

I picked up a ring after dropping up a bit and took a step back. Five pegs, and I had to score all five rings on each of them; the pegs varied in width to make getting a ring on that much harder. I held my hand up, lining up the ring with the first peg. Gritting my teeth, I gave a quick flick of my wrist and launched the faded green ring towards the skinny peg, scoring easily. I quickly snatched up the next ring and effortlessly tossed it onto the next peg.

“Spike?”

Peg number three was larger in width, but it should be simple enough. The ring itself was smaller, and lining it up with both hands, I flicked my wrists and it sailed through the air, landing absolutely perfectly on the peg. No clang whatsoever. The fourth peg was the same size dealing with the same ring, and I picked up another. I felt the pressure hit my mind as-

“Spike, listen to me!” Rarity said with a raised voice, shaking my arm. I looked over to her, feeling my eyes dry up a bit. I quickly rubbed them, allowing my burden-heavy eyelids close as I did. “Look at yourself. I mean no offence, Spikey-wikey, but you look absolutely awful. Droopy eyes, losing weight; it's as if you haven't slept in days,” she said in a matter-of-fact tone.

I chuckled, waving the ring at her. “Rarity, you're a smart mare,” I said, flicking the ring blindly. A satisfying click made my smirk grow and I leaned forward, pecking Rarity on the forehead. “Don't worry, I've just had some rough sleep. I spent a month in a tent, getting up irregularly. I just need to adjust.”

Rarity frowned and opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Sweetie Belle merely watched us and I quickly picked up the last ring. Rarity sighed, leaning in and stood next to me.

“Alright, so when I win, what do I get?” I asked.

“Aha, our boy here is awfully cocky. I'll tell you what you'll win: the Grim Reaper!” the stand runner said, levitating a large, stuffed pony skeleton with a black hood and shoddily sewn-on scythe. Rarity shifted next to me akin to a surprised/nervous shock, but I shrugged.

“A'ight then,” I said, twirling the last ring on my fingers. “This one's for you, God of Death.”

I bent my knees, jumped to a standing position, and flicked the final ring forward. It spun through the air, sending worry into my mind. This ring was even smaller and the peg was fitted so you had to get it dead on. Feeling my cockiness dying out in a millisecond was scary, but it was worth it. A click and shuffling sound caused my eyes to lock onto the peg, and the ring slid on with a cool sound.

“HYES!” I shouted, doing a quick hop.

“Wow, congrats, kid,” the manager said. He levitated the Grim Reaper toy down and I greedily snatched it. “Have a nice day.”

I waved as Rarity, Sweetie Belle and I turned away. We proceeded down the street, Sweetie Belle getting excited over every stand. Rarity kept casting uneasy glances towards me. It's probably just her being worried. I'll be fine.

[*][*][*]

We spent the next half hour playing the small-time games the fair had to offer, such as bobbing for apples, other ring tosses, or fishing. Won several small prizes, and the always ecstatic Sweetie Belle proved to be an expert at the crane game. She won seventeen times trying to get a diamond-shaped pillow before the owner just gave it to her. Glad, too; she was using up all my coins.

Rarity soon stopped giving me the nervous glances as she began to indulge in the festivities. We haven't even gotten to any rides yet and we're already having the time of our lives, just like a family.

Family . . . Featherweight's family was torn apart by that accident. What about that accident bugs me so much? I looked down the street over the mass of ponies, and spotted Halcyon Blind trudging through the crowd. He saw me and smiled as I waved him over.

“Rarity, there's somepony I'd like you to meet,” I said.

Turning to my side, Rarity and Sweetie Belle were gone. I saw them galloping in the distance towards another stand that Pinkie Pie waved them over to. I'm certain Rarity told me to wait, but I shrugged it off. I was too tired to get mopey.

“Hello, friend!” Halcyon said, panting. His face bore a large smile and he allowed himself a moment to catch his breath. “How goes the festivities?”

“Good, so far. How about you? Found your would-be wife?” I asked, eating a piece of cotton candy.

“Yeah, but I think she's mad at me. She's been giving me the cold shoulder. Ah well, she had to leave for a bit, but she'll be back,” he said, stretching his limbs.

“I know what that feels like,” I said, thinking to how Rarity kicked me out. “Don't worry, if you love her, things will be fine.”

“Wise words from a wise old dragon. What else can you teach me, o great master,” Halcyon said, doing a mock bow.

I snickered. “Get up before you embarrass us both,” I chortled.

He shook off laughter and his neck twitched once more. He scratched his head in a spot that seemed to have an orange tint to his mane. Ponies streaking their manes was nothing new, but he doesn't seem like the type... and the patch was rectangular. It was completely odd, but, well, who am I to question pony choices?

“Ha, so anyways, since we were both ditched, apparently, what say we both go grab a quick ride on one of the non-female rides?” Halcyon offered.

I raised an eyebrow, frowning as I looked up. He waved a hoof over and we proceeded towards a portion of the fair filled with rides. After a minute, we came to what looked to be a Haunted House. I shrugged, since Nightmare Night was close.

“You have to be older than a colt,” he said, stretching his wings and craning his neck.

“And then there's me,” I said, chuckling.

“Heh, yup.”

We strolled to the front gates with no lines and stopped in front of them as the attendant looked at us with sheer boredom reflecting off his eyes. He pulled out a stamp and both Halcyon and I extended a hoof/hand. A quick stamp later and we were on our way. We entered the front, hearing some cliché howling wolves and evil laughing. We snickered at the childlike entrance before I asked myself why we came here. Shrugging, we walked down a long, creaky corridor. Another cliché, but before we could snicker at it, a sudden shriek sounded below us and the floor gave way. We both yelped in terror and surprise, landing in a rather soft area. Foam blocks in a small pool, perhaps or...

I opened my eyes, the room being illuminated only by several black lights. The so-called “foam blocks” weren't blocks at all. The substance? I'm not sure, maybe something based on cotton candy. Either way, it felt stick, yet wasn't. Being typical ponies and dragons, we had panic enter our systems and we began tossing “foam blocks” away as we dove out of the pool, landing on the ground next to it. Looking up, the short drop was... several stories high.

We stopped facing upwards and allowed our eyes to adjust. Quickly, we saw the hallway was entirely composed of what appeared to be jelly. Chalking it up to Unicorn magic, we progressed, slight shivers down our spines.

“It has only been a few seconds and I'm about ready to call the safety word,” Halcyon Blind said through stuttering teeth.

“What safety word!? We're stuck in here!” I shouted, jogging down the hallway.

The clopping of hooves confirmed that he just shut up and we paced down the  hallway, seeing the exit just ahead... and it never seemed to get closer. It was as if the hallway never ended. That's when I actually felt panic. Adrenaline spiked through my body and I ran faster than I ever have before, huffing and breathing irregularly with panicked cries as I completely forgot that I was supposed to be safe. These guys are good.

I completely forgot about Halcyon, fearing only for my own safety. It wasn't long before the spell keeping the hall from ending seemed to end and I slammed into the door, breaking it off its hinges. I landed on the ground, grunting as the wind left my lungs. Halcyon Blind tackled over me and rolled ahead. We both quickly shook our heads, standing up. The door below me was gone, and so was the doorway. Looking ahead, we stepped forward to find a railing for a balcony. Above was the starry skies, and below was another balcony, showing us. It was certainly odd, looking at myself, and unnerving all the same. We moved the exact same, similar to a mirror.

What the hell about this is relaxing!? I berated myself on my so-called “plan” to relax today.

Halcyon was chattering like a cartoon character in a Nightmare Night cartoon. I was close to that, focusing on my heartbeat instead. Below, something akin to Nightmare Moon slithered out from below our balcony and seemed to approach us. We both let out shrieks and spun around to see the dreaded night terror, only to find ourselves facing a building.

“Holy fu... I m-mean, this is j-just a fall f-fair attraction,” I stuttered.

I got no response, or even chattering. Looking to Halcyon, he wasn't next to me. We appeared to be in a part of Ponyville, and Halcyon Blind stood under several scaffolding stacks next to a building. The rain must have caused him to take shelter.

“Spike, come outta the rain,” he shouted with a voice crack.

They began to crack and I panicked once more. I dashed forward and shoved Halcyon Blind out of the way, just as the scaffolding came down. I was never hit by any metal or wood. It was an illusion... but I turned to face Halcyon.

He stood up, a crack sounded, and a plank of wood fell down and landed on his skull. For some reason, I exploded. Not physically, but mentally. My mind just stopped coherent thoughts and I stared at the sight in front of me. A Pegasus with a dirty blond mane and a plank of wood lodged into his skull with blood over the ground. It even splattered onto my body. My arm was extended, coated in blood to the point where it was dripping.

I killed him.

That voice sounded through my head. The voice was familiar, but it hit me hard. Halcyon Blind was dead, and now, it's going to be blamed on me. This whole scene seemed familiar, and was eerily similar to how the descriptions of that Golden Shutter fellow died.

I killed him.

Ignoring the crying skies or crumpling world, I fell to the ground, allowing the tears (or was it rain?) to fall down my face as I curled up and silently begged for Twilight's presence.

I killed him... but why am I so dependant on mom? Twilight can't protect me forever.

In a mere second, I was no longer wet, coated in blood, or lying in the rainy streets of Ponyville. I was lying in a recovery bed at a nurse tent in the fair, a blanket draped over me. The first thing I saw was the metal pole holding up the temporary office. Now conscious, I sniffed the air, detecting that fall smell as well as the sickly smell of a sanitary hospital. My claws trailed up my sides, taking in the texture of the silky sheet coating me. Bringing a claw up, I touched my face, feeling warm and normal. I tilted my head to the right since the light was coming from there, and Rarity, Sweetie Belle and Twilight were there. Halcyon Blind wasn't.

“Mother...”

Twilight's attention snapped from her zoning and she leaned against the bed, looking down at me. Rarity did the same, but it was a lot more physical; she leaned her body against mine, although not unpleasantly.

“Spike, thank Celestia... you had us worried. You passed out in a haunted house,” Twilight said, rubbing my cheek. “Well, not passed out. You were conscious, but not aware.”

“Darling, I was merely going to speak to Pinkie Pie for a few minutes, and then you go out and do this? You musn't scare us like that!” Rarity dramatically said, giving me a quick therapeutic massage on my torso.

“Hehe, you touched my belly,” I said in a daze.

“Oh, Spikey...” Rarity said, leaning her head gently against my stomach.

Twilight hugged me while Sweetie Belle sat back awkwardly. I reached out and wrapped a hoof around her body, bring her in and I hugged all three of them... but I wasn't “there.”

I killed him.

[*][*][*]

The day progressed where us as a group progressed to each ride, enjoying each others companies. Come nightfall, the entire group approached the Carousel Boutique. Twilight was led in by Sweetie Belle in an attempt to gather opinions on a “dress.” I stopped Rarity outside the door.

“I'd go in, but I haven't stopped, yet,” I whispered.

Rarity smiled at me solemnly, yet still managed to be heartwarming. Probably the lighting on her face, but I reached a hand up, caressing her cheek.

“I'm sorry, but I really can't let go of this issue... at least not of my own accord. I keep thinking about it, and I desperately want that closure,” I said.

Her smile disappeared and her look was that of pity. With a simple action, she reached a hoof up and removed my claw from her cheek. Confused at first, I looked at her and attempted to speak, but I never said anything. She turned away, stepped into the door, and tilted her head. I couldn't see her face behind that mane, but I don't think I'd want to.

“I don't think we should see each other, then,” she said quietly.

Before I could argue, she stepped in and closed the door, calmly, swiftly. It was such a short, five second moment, but it triggered an odd sensation. One of the most powerful things I've ever felt in my life.

I spun around, and walked home, just as it started raining. It was thirty minutes before I had released my anger on a bush. I didn't go straight home, I wandered through Ponyville, arriving at the outskirts of the town. I paced in one area, thinking before I released my flame breath on a large bush. I had calmed down shortly after, but stayed to make sure the fire would burn out. I sat on a stump roadside, looking down the path back to Ponyville, before looking the other way that led to the area below Cloudsdale.

I continued to sit there, the bush having burnt out half an hour prior. I continued to think, the urge to cry had risen the moment the flame went out as if synchronized with my anger. I thought long, and I thought hard.

I was supposed to discover the truth. My friends won't help me, but why? Why don't they want this unlocked? Was it so bad that they don't want it to be revealed?

I ran home, desperate to think this through alone... but it didn't last long. I stopped running and stood in the rain. I tensed up my body, shoulders raised to my head. I shivered, not from the rain, but from the eventual outburst. I had to cry, and nothing was going to stop me.

I wanted to see that notebook, the notebook written by my so-called mother. I quickly belched out the pink notebook. My brow bent, and I felt the wild growl in my throat trying to escape. I looked over to a nearby trash bin, then back at the gift box. I opened my mouth to release a breath I involuntarily held in, and that was it.

I roared like a dragon would. Loud. Wild. Fearsome. I twisted my body to the side, setting one foot forward while I yanked the hand holding the notebook behind my head, continuing my roar while I tossed it as hard as possible in the general direction of the trash bin. My eyes stung with water, and I still don't know if it was the rain or tears. Either way, I started wailing.

“Rarity! No! This isn't how we're supposed! I'm just-” I wasn't even speaking coherent sentences, but I didn't care. I looked up, hoping to trick myself into believing I wasn't crying and the rain was the cause of the stinging, but it failed. “I love you!” I shouted, looking back to the ground to hide my shameful eyes from no-one in particular. In the corner of my eyes, I saw the notebook, the cover being washed clean of the coffee stains.

I slumped towards it, forgetting my hate. I needed this book. I can't run from it. I have to discover it... or I will never sleep again. Then again, I haven't already, have I? I've always had a terrible sleep. Sleep. . .

[*][*][*]

Once home, I retrieved my bowl of jewels and stashed myself in the windowsill once more. The notebook sat on my lap, but I never opened it. I merely examined the cover: the faded ink; the faint coffee stains. It seemed... “out there.” I leaned back, thinking back to earlier.

Nagging in my head when I saw several areas in Ponyville. The street where that Golden Shutter pony died was so... familiar, and I think it was where Halcyon Blind died in that screwed-up hallucination.

As a grand revelation would, my eyes widened and my jaw dropped.

It was no accident! That's right! It was murder! The whole “Death Note” issue was at play. The notebook that could kill just by name and face. The notes relating to Rarity, Golden Shutter must have done something to Rarity. According to Halcyon Blind, Golden Shutter was a father, of Featherweight, and was planning to propose. No, that was Halcyon Blind... or, I don't know. Either way, a list of ponies that died were classified as under “close to Rarity” in mother's notes. And the hallucination from earlier... Golden Shutter must be brothers with Halcyon Blind! That explains the similarities! But even more important, I remember! I was there when Golden Shutter died!

... and I killed him...?

Restless

Like a pendulum, I found myself swinging back and forth between moods. I could go downstairs in the morning and sniff the air with a sense of giddiness for the coming day, but then my mind could be an ass and remind me that Rarity broke up with me five days ago. The others either don't know this yet or aren't saying anything. Not in Twilight's case, she really doesn't know. According to Rarity, I opted to go straight home after the fair. The Running of the Leaves took place, and nothing spectacular happened. Or it did, and I missed it entirely. I kept nodding off through it all alongside Pinkie Pie. That's fine, I don't wanna compete with her shenanigans again.

Twilight has purchased a new bed for me, finally. Why she hasn't earlier eludes me, but, well, maybe it didn't fit in her schedule. Either way, it will arrive within the next five days. A new place to hide her notebook since the tingling in my stomach may be the cause of my little problem.

My sleep deprivation. I can't sleep properly. I nod off, but never slumber. I keep rustling the bedsheets next to Twilight, adjusting my head, but never sleep and before I know it, I get up to go prepare breakfast. Ever since I got back, I haven't been able to sleep properly. At first, I had minor slumbers, but now... nothing.

But, it is ample thinking time, only hampered by the fact that my thoughts half form. I keep thinking things relating to my friends. I even wondered if Applejack was the fucking murderer, again. Big Macintosh should crush my kneecaps.

I still questioned myself. Last night, I came to the revelation that I was present for Halcyon Blind's death. Wait, I mean Golden Shutter... right? Either way, I was there for the death, and I... I'm suppressing memories. I have suppressed memories! That explains the nagging feeling! I... I killed Golden Shutter, right? I don't know, but for some reason, I feel as if I was responsible.

But I wasn't. There's no way I could get away with something like murder without Twilight finding out about it. This notebook is proof! She was tracking down this murderer and she was narrowing her search down to potential subjects... and not just 20 or so. She narrowed it down to three possibles after an incident at Sugar Cube Corner. Section three of the book seemed to pin down the Death Note theory, confirming my suspicions.

But how do I know what the Death Note is? It just... came to me. How did I know it? Why do I know it? Questions built up the more I dug into this. Do my friends know about this? They act shifty around me whenever I bring up the mention. It'd make sense since I'm younger and I shouldn't be exposed to death, but I've known many others who died. A librarian in Canterlot, an old classmate of Twilight's in Magic Kindergarten, and a few others. I know what death is and what it means.

Then again, some ponies are driven mad by the revelation of things when death is elaborated upon. Like, maybe I would discover some horrifying truth to death, or learn how to find out how long I am for this world. Or maybe they just don't want me realizing a dark history of Equestria?

I wish they would just fucking say it.

[*][*][*]

Another day. Been a month since we returned to Ponyville... or was it? I'm not sure. I have yet to get a proper sleep. My last full sleep occurred in the godforsaken tent of all places. I had a better sleep when we sat through that tropical storm in the worst tent in the world. Anyways, I think my sleep deprivation is getting to me since I just attempted to wash my breakfast and throw away my plate. I kept wandering back to the hallucination the Haunted House gave us. I don't even know when that was, to be honest. I could not look at a calendar and point out the date I went to it. Either way, it kept me idly distracted and my revelation to the Death Note's existence was... odd. Again, I just knew the name. It came to me. But from where? Why? How? The name sounds so familiar... and gives me a sense of dread.

Luckily, Twilight stepped into the room with an idle stagger accompanied by a yearning yawn. I took my temporary distraction and sniffed the air, smelling the pleasant oak scent mixing with the smell of burning leaves. Winter starts on the first day of Autumn's final month... and I'm dreading it. I believe it was merely a year ago when Twilight's brother got married, and a few weeks after that is the mother of all head-nags.

Standing in Rarity's boutique, assisting with a dress, leaving distressed, and going home. It was simple, it often happened before I got with Rarity, but there was something more to this memory. There's some gap that was present. I was sad, but I did something before going home. Walked around Ponyville, check. Caught in the rain, check. But something between there and arriving home, something happened . . . but I don't remember what. Goddammit.

Wait, this happened yesterday...

“Good morning, Spike,” Twilight beamed as she stretched out across a small table.

Looking at her, I smiled. “Hello, Twilight. Err, mother,” I said, coughing before I corrected myself.

She scrunched up her nose before giggling. “Looks like someone needs a little more sleep.”

I turned to her with an almost glare, wishing nothing more than for her to understand that I didn't find that humourous. But no, I didn't want her to find out about my escapades into the dastardly dark death bullshit. Chuckling instead, I wiggled the pan I held above the stove and looked down.

Oh, I'm making charcoal.

“Spikey, are you doing fine? You did pass out yesterday,” she said. “Also, I smell charred egg.”

I looked at her, lifted the pan and looked back down to it. Unsure what to do, I tossed the charred egg into my mouth and swallowed it. It was pretty good.

“That was because I wasn't paying attention, and I'm okay. So far.”

She shrugged, trusting my judgement (hopefully). I went back to preparing her breakfast once more, this time keeping the eggs edible. Setting the egg sandwich down, I sat next to her, set my head down on the table top, and observed her. She blissfully ate, bobbing her head back and forth without a care in the world. She was blissfully ignorant to my turmoil, and that was the best. I couldn't tell her the truth, so I didn't. I told Rarity, and we broke up. Celestia knows what would happen if Twilight knew I discovered this Death Note.

Death Note...

[*][*][*]

Out of curiosity, I walked back to that same park bench with the pink notebook in hand. Sat down, read it for a bit, and waited. The bell rang and the fillies and colts left. Featherweight fluttered out with the same solemn expression as before. Then again, the entire bunch seems the same. They're all eager to leave. The pegasi are clearing the clouds same as usual, and the notebook's contents began to put everything together. The jumbled information was being linked and narrowed down, and I eagerly flipped through the pages.

“Pinkie Pie's yearbook, Blue Star, Rarity, three colts, Shining Armour, drivers, someone very close and infatuated with my Rarity,” not my Rarity, “and they were using the Death Note. There was a plan to use me as bait; the night where the boutique had a break in, and there was a blank under 'Murderer.' Twilight really isn't the pony you want tracking you down.” I chuckled.

I flipped to the next page, expecting the answer. Nothing. A blank sheet of paper and a smaller one next to it. I flipped through the rest of the book, finding nothing but blank sheets of paper.

“No. Who was the killer?” I asked, my voice cracking. I flipped erratically through the book, reading each word over and over to find the answer... yet nothing. “WHO WAS THE KILLER!?” I shouted, slapping the blank page that taunted me.

Growling, I slapped the notebook shut, grabbed the cover, threw it on the ground, and watched the dust coat it. Snarly and growling, I felt my rage build up.

I lost Rarity, I lost sleep, I can't find the killer, and there's something WRONG with me! No, I'm just fine. The rest of the world is wrong. I'm the sane one, trying to do the responsible thing! I'm trying to bring justice. What, did Twilight just forget? No! She knows! They all know! They aren't telling me! I'M NOT A KID! They know it and I haven't forced it out of them yet out of the goodness of my heart. I didn't want the others to get wrapped up since they're so adamant to stay out of it!

With a quick huff, I spat a ball of fire onto the pink notebook and watch it nearly explode. Not satisfied, I kept unloading fireballs onto it before spraying out a continuous stream on the ground. I wasn't sure if I was hitting it anymore, so I just sprayed streams of flame in the general direction of the small blaze. The ground itself was becoming charred and glassed as I poured hot flame over it. I could feel eyes on me; my sixth-sense seemed to kick in at this very moment... or it was my nose picking up fresh meat.

I shook my head and went to growl, but I could feel the heat behind me. Green flames completely cut off this walkway intersection... but no one was here to object. Quickly, I kicked the dirt and sand at it and stomped on it, putting the blaze down before it turned into an actual five alarm blaze. The ground was no longer normal sand, the intense heat having glassed it. This intersection was ruined. Good job, Spike.

I shuffled back to the bench and slumped down into it, relishing in the cracking of my spine. A hearty moan escaped my mouth as the pleasure rang through my entire back, and I soon settled into a “comfy” sitting position. After a few minutes, another pony sat down next to me. After seeing Halcyon every day for the past month in this exact spot, I didn't even glance over.

“Hello,” I said, staring at the clouding skies.

“Oh, hello,” a female voice said.

And now I was confused once more. Mechanically lifting my head up, I glanced over towards the mystery pony to see a Pegasus mare solemnly looking at me. Sitting up straight, I looked at the mare, examining her body.

“Uh, how are you?” I hesitantly asked.

“I'm doing okay,” she said. She looked down towards the ground.

Looking towards her, I raised an eyebrow. “Where's Halcyon?”

“You're certainly chatty, today,” she replied.

I shifted my position to face her easier. A quick glance back to the school showed an empty schoolyard void of children. I felt a weird sensation when I looked at this mare as well as the school.

“What're you talking about? I need to see Halcyon. We've met here every day for the past month and a half,” I said, frantically looking around.

“Sir, you must be tired. I've sat here next to you for the past month; you just sat there, staring at the skies. I mean, this is a lovely spot to rest,” she replied calmly.

Slowly, my head turned towards the mystery mare. Eyes focused yet wide open, I attempted to process this. The area we were in had several more ponies, none of them were Halcyon Blind. And this mare says that she's the one that sat with me for the past month?

“What are you talking about? There was a stallion Pegasus, we've met here for the past month,” I said.

She gave me yet another solemn stare as if she was taking pity on me. “I assure you, there is no one named Halcyon that has sat here. I've been here each day.”

Looking back to the glassed intersection, I stood up and stumbled towards the shiny ground. I saw my reflection and my eyes as slits. Thick, heavy bags under my eyes and bloodshot eyes stared back at me. Teeth grit like a chainsaw, my hands grabbed onto my head as I shuddered, feeling a weird feeling plaguing my mind like a hurricane. Something is going on. Something is screwing with my head.

“Is that it, huh!?  Just some game or a big joke? Let's all have a laugh on Spike! Yeah, go fuck with his head! He's a dragon, not like he's going to be here for long in the first place,” I shouted out to the park in general.

Several ponies turned to my attention, still giving me those accusing looks and stares of contempt. I wanted each of them to fess up.

“Are my friends scared of me!? That's it, isn't it! It's because I'm a monster. My friends want me gone or... it's Big Macintosh! He's doing this because of what I said about Applejack! Well whatever he's paying you, he's wasting it all! His mind games aren't doing shit! YOU HEAR THAT, BIG MACINTOSH!?” I roared, stomping my foot on the glassed ground. It cracked and shattered and I fell onto all fours, slamming my fists repeatedly into it. Small shards jammed in between my scales but I payed no attention.

“Go home, mister. And get some sleep, you look like you haven't slept in months,” the mare replied, half-scared.

I looked back at her and snorted before taking off in a run towards the Carousal Boutique.

[*][*][*]

Within minutes, I knocked on the door of the fashionista's shop, erratically at first before composing myself.

“Who is it?” Rarity's lovely voice sounded.

“It's Spike,” I replied, panting heavily.

Several seconds of silence impacted me horribly, but it's what I expected. Shame it isn't what I'm accepting.

“Spike, I don't think you should be here,” her voice replied quietly.

I resisted the urge to let out a primal roar and slammed a fist against the door frame. A frightened shriek on the other side of the door was my response.

“JUST. OPEN. THE DOOR!” I shouted, digging my claws into the frame.

A second passed before the doors opened up and Rarity curiously peeked her head around the door, seemingly shivering with a frightened expression. My anger calmed down instantly and I forgot about my troubles.

“Oh my, you're shivering, are you okay?” I asked.

She opened her mouth but hiccoughed instead. She gulped and nodded her head, pulling the door open further and motioning me to come in. I just realized now that I stood a head over her, yet I was still skinnier than her. My hand throbbed from impacting the door frame. Quickly, I walked over and sat down on a couch. Resting my head in my hands, I let out a long drawn out sigh.

“Spike, are you okay?” Rarity finally asked, resting a hoof on my shoulder.

Glancing up, I saw her expression; concerned, but still scared. Opening my mouth to speak, nothing came out and I immediately clamped my jaw shut, shaking my head and averting my gaze.

“I think something's happening to me. People are out to get me,” I responded, slumping back in the couch.

“Spike, I do believe you're talking nonsense. You're merely paranoid from your dastardly research into those petty deaths. They're a thing of the past, it was resolved according to Celestia, now it's time we move on,” she responded with a hint of annoyance present.

Another sigh, I nodded my head. “I know, that's what I'm going to do. There's too much happening and if I keep going on about this, I may wind up dead.”

Rarity sat down next to me, caressing my shoulder. The gesture was so simple and sweet yet it lifted a horrible weight on my chest. Knowing somepony was there for me. Twilight lost that role, at least for the time. She was my mother, but she hasn't acted like it, much.

“I'm sorry. I want to start over, forget this whole ordeal. Maybe get a life of my own. Start looking at the world on a broader scope. Help me understand it all, be adventurous, learn about dragons. Forget it all,” I said, looking up with a hopeful smile.

“Spike, I think that's lovely, but if you do go, don't wander off too far. I love you, but I don't want to miss you. Celestia knows I've done enough in the short time we broke up,” Rarity responded, wrapping her forehooves around me.

I sighed, leaning into her. “I just think it's time to change my life. I've been so stupid, and something like this is massive. Massive enough to warrant a change. Leave this chapter behind and be my own Dragon. Do what I want, eat what I want, fuck who I want,” I said with a fist pump.

“Ahem,” Rarity said, jabbing me in the side.

“I never said anypony other than you,” I sheepishly chuckled.

“I was mostly concerned about your language.”

A chuckle escaped our mouths. My eyelids felt droopy once more, and my sleep deprivation seemed to be catching up with me. I looked down at Rarity, and she seemed to be relieved, tearing up as well. With a swift motion, I brushed the hair out of her face and licked the tears from her eyes. Weird, but I thought it was cute. A giggle was my response.

“I'm going to make us some lunch, dear. After, I want you to get some sleep. You look horrible, no offence,” she replied, standing up.

“None taken, just don't be too long or I'll die of starvation,” I responded, tapping my belly.

“Indeed. Darling, if you lost any more weight, we could legally declare you a flag,” Rarity joked as she merrily skipped into the kitchen.

Chuckling, I leaned back into the couch, stretching my tired, broken body. Directly in front of me, photos lined the walls. Each held a cherished memory of Rarity: holding Sweetie Belle as a foal; her first fashion show; meeting the other five; the two of us; her and Halcyon Blind holding hooves; her mother and father.

Wait...

I stood up out of the couch and practically dashed to the wall. Sitting by the door was a photo of Rarity holding hooves with Halcyon Blind with a starry sky in the background. I picked it up, staring at it as my hands shook. Rage bubbled up like a kettle and I turned towards the kitchen. Slowly, I dragged my feet across the floor, leaving scrapes here and there. The kitchen was dimly lit with dishes scattered here and there, and Rarity idly cooked food on the stove. Photo still in hand, I put my other hand up on a nearby table, placed them on a stack of plates, and swung my arm. The plates flew across the kitchen and shattered against the various cupboards on ground level. Rarity shrieked and held her forehooves on her head. Slowly, she turned around to meet my furious glare.

“Mother of Celestia, what was...” Rarity started.

“Where is he?” I asked with no remorse in my voice.

Rarity looked at me, dumbfounded.

“Don't play dumb, Rarity. Your boyfriend. Where is he?” I asked, my arms shaking.

“Spike... Spikey-wikey, calm do-”

“DON'T CALL ME SPIKEY-WIKEY!” I shouted, slamming a fist on the table.

She took a step back, practically cowering in one part of the kitchen. The urge to shoot flames nagged at my mind but I managed to withhold it.

“'I'll miss you, Spikey. Don't go away, Spikey. You're the kindest, sweetest Dragon ever, little Spikey-fucking-wikey,” I said bitterly, feeling tears pricking my eyelids.

“Spike, you're angry. Please, calm down. You're scaring me,” Rarity responded, her voice cracking.

Shaking my head, I held up the photo to show her.

“Where is your boyfriend, Rarity? Don't lie to me,” I whispered.

“I don't have a boyfri-”

“STOP LYING TO ME!” I shouted, smashing the photo on the ground.

“T-that's a p-picture of G-golden Shutter, S-spike,” Rarity said, stuttering as tears began to flow down her cheeks.

I shook my head. She was lying once more. I loved her and wanted her to be safe, that's why I began looking into this death stuff in the first place. She lied with Twilight.

“You lying whore...” I whispered.

There was no hesitation in the cold atmosphere. Rarity swung her hoof at me, slapping me with the hot frying pan. If I was my smaller self, I would have felt it. Instead, I only looked down at her, betrayed as she looked at me with those slutty eyes.

“Get out of my house, Spike,” she bitterly replied, pointing to her door.

My lips trembled and I shuddered. I took a step back, slipping on the glass frame.

“GET UP YOU WORTHLESS FUCK!” Rarity shouted, levitating me to my feet. “GET OUT!”

I kicked the door of her cupboard in, roaring.

“YOU BET I WILL YOU STUPID WHORE!”

“YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A MONSTER!”

“SLUT!”

“MURDERER!”

And then silence. All tension just vanished from the air. No more anger was directed at her filthy lying mouth, and her face was in pure shock. Tiny pupils, jaw hanging, wide eyes, no sound coming from her voice. It dawned on me what she said.

“Murderer?” I asked.

“Spike, I'm so sor...”

It was as if I stopped processing sound. Her mouth was moving but I heard nothing. Why did her comment bug me so much? Why was I thinking about it? Murderer? Why would she call me a murderer? I thought I killed Halcyon Blind months ago... or was that Golden Shutter? Either way, that was then, and it was just an accident. No, according to Twilight's notebook, it was a murder done by the Death Note. I stumbled backwards, towards the front door regardless of the tugs at my arm.

“I'm going to go speak to mother,” I said calmly.

I removed Rarity's hoof from my arm, opened the front door, gave her a gentle shove, and closed it.

[*][*][*]

The library was visible. The atmosphere was chilling, but that's all I've felt since the haunted house. Chilled. Rarity was having her emotional roller coaster, and... then she called me a murderer. Why does that bug me so much? It's a heavy insult, yet I haven't killed anypony. Yes, I did blame myself for Halcyon Blind's death, but murder is intentional. His death was accidental.

Did I say Halcyon Blind? I mean Halcyon Blind.

No, I mean, Golden Blind.

Or was it Halcyon Shutter? Or Halcyblind Goldutter? Whatever.

In front of the library was the stallion in question; Golden Shutter kicked at the ground, looking around the area before spotting me. He smiled and nodded, but there didn't seem to be any emotion behind that smile.

“Hey, friend. My boy is inside the library right now, checking out a book,” Halcyon Blind said, knocking on the front door.

“Your boy...? Featherweight?” I asked, peeking through the window.

He chuckled in response; it was very eerie since this lacked emotion as well. He pushed open the door, stepping inside the Golden Oaks Library. I hurried after him, not wanting to stay outside in the weird atmosphere of Ponyville.

“Hey, have we always met at the Aeron Park? Y'know, the one outside of the Ponyville Schoolhouse?” I asked, closing the door of the darkened library.

He made no comment in response, nodding without so much as a glance. I stopped in my tracks, feeling an odd sense of dread fill my mind as I looked at the stairs leading up to my room. The door was creaked open and it was almost pitch black, as if somepony pulled the curtains closed. Slack-jawed and nervously shaking, I looked at Halcyon when he let out a small chuckle.

“Spike, could you find me a book, since you work here? It's black, and for the life of me, I can't seem to remember the name,” he said, turning to me as his neck twitched. “It's thin, has a white title on the cover, and is sorta like a journal, or notebook.”

“Look, I've seen enough reshelving days in this library to know if a book like that had popped up. I'll save you the trouble, because we don't have one,” I responded, casually walking towards the kitchen.

Stepping inside, I flicked the switch only for no lights to come on. I cursed; we needed new bulbs. I grabbed a banana and quickly began munching on it and stepped out to see Halcyon reading a book. Dastardly the Dark's Def... oh, you have to be kidding me, I thought. The skies outside began to cry, letting it rain on Ponyville. This storm was either unscheduled, or it slipped by me in my sleep deprived life.

“Hey, friend, since you don't have the other book, I was wondering if you could get me another one that's similar. Pink, research journal, and again, I forget the author,” he said without looking up. His voice was monotonic, and that's when I realized that something was up.

“Who was that lady that I saw in the park today? Why does she say I've sat at that same bench for a month, staring into the sky?” I asked, hearing my voice crack slowly.

Halcyon chuckled as he flipped the page, and he slapped the book closed and trotted upstairs. Not only was it rude since I asked him a question, but those are private sleeping quarters.

Wait...

“Your boy, Featherweight, is he up there? Those rooms are private,” I said in an almost-shout, jogging up the stairs. Stepping into the room, there was a dim candle barely illuminating the entire setup. Halcyon mucked about near the beds, and then I started to get angry. “Goddammit, Golden Shutter, get out of here! This isn't your house,” I shouted.

He picked up my wicker basket, lifting the mattress. “Now where's your hospitality, friend? I'm a guest, just checking out your lovely room.”

Running after him, I reached the top of the stairs and stopped before another door caught my eye. To the right, the bathroom door was opened and a small candle illuminated that room as well. Looking back to Halcyon, he put the basket down and I asked the question that's been on my mind for a while.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I whispered.

He pulled out a small, pink notebook from under my old bedsheets and held it in front of me. I never looked at it, refusing to acknowledge it as the research notebook I know I just incinerated. He smirked at me as if to say, “You know the answer.” I felt my eyes welling up with tears.

“You're the cause of all of this. It's because Golden Shutter was your brother, Halcyon Blind. You think I killed him, so now you're trying to kill me, isn't it?” I asked. “So what, I screw your life, you screw mine? Is that it? You drive me to death, make my mother and friends suffer, for what? Revenge? Well it isn't going to work, Halcyon Blind. I'm sorry about your brother, but I'll be goddamned if you ruin my life. FUCK you, Halcyon Blind.”

A gentle snap sounded as he shook his head, his neck twitching even more. His whole appearance was offsetting. Once again, I was reminded of another party.

His boy...

“What have you done with Featherweight?” I asked, a quick glance to the bathroom where I suspected my answer would lie.

He cast a sideways glance to me, smirking as he did. He sighed, shaking his head as he set the book atop my wicker basket.

“Well don't give me that look, friend. We both know he's gone,” he said with a short giggle. “'sides, it was your fault.”

Shaking my head as steamy tears cascaded my cheeks, I mouthed the words no several times before increasing the volume.

“You're lying. Stop lying to me, dammit,” I said, bunching up my fists.

He hummed to himself as he pulled a long object out of his saddlebags, fiddling with it in his hooves. I took a small step forward just as he turned to me with a casual swing. He held a knife in his hooves and proceeded to cut his mane with careful precision.

“Y'know, it is kind of a challenge to cut your hair in the dark, friend. Might wanna get new bulbs, soon,” he said with a chuckle.

“SHUT UP!” I shouted, running towards him.

He took a step back and with a smile, held the knife out towards me. I thrust a fist forward, grabbing the hilt and yanked it out of his grasp. He laughed at the display and in the ruckus, we crushed my basket. I swung my legs around his body, resting atop him as if I were riding him and attempted to thrust the blade into his neck. His hooves were pressing against my arms as we tumbled to the ground, rolling a bit.

“Well well well, don't get the wrong idea, friend. This isn't how you usually handle things,” he laughed.

Unfortunately, I found nothing humourous and continued to struggle with him. We eventually rolled into Twilight's bed and it dawned on me then that she wasn't here. The bump was caused when his hooves hit the bed's leg and that gave me the edge I needed. The blade making gushing sounds reminiscent of pulling an arm out of jello. There was little resistance until an inch of the blade was left out to which I forced it in. A sickening slice followed by gurgling made me realize what the hell I was doing.

I stood up atop the body and watched as Halcyon's body twitched violently. His eyes were wide open as he clutched his chest and neck, gurgling and attempting to breath as his blood squirted out from his neck, coating the floor by Twilight's bed. The realization of what I did slapped me in the face.

I killed him...

Reality

Panicking and with a foggy mind, I staggered backwards away from the twitching corpse, dropping the bloodied metal onto the wooden floor. The point stabbed the wood and stuck up and the pool of blood washed over the blade and onto my feet. My balance was unstable but I never fell. Instead, I spun around, almost slipping on the blood. Gentle clicks sounded in the library from the clock, spurring me to move faster.

Time, mother's gonna be here soon, right!? Where is she? She was here before! I killed someone! I killed him, in the neck, with a knife, and his blood is coating our wooden floor, probably staining mother's bed, and my own bed is trashed. And he killed Featherweight, and bathroom where we take the pissing and showers and personal crap, I thought.

Without stopping, I slammed into the door frame of the bathroom, smelling the scented candle over the blood on my body. Lotus Corniculatus scented candle with a black rose shape, bright flame, and placed directly in the centre of the sink. Looking to the right, the bathtub was covered by the shower curtains, and I hesitated.

A draconic silhouette was cast onto the curtains with a menacing loom, blood dripping off the arms. A purple claw reached forward and dragged across the curtain, scratching the surface before gripping the fabric. A quick tug, and the monster slid the curtains across. The tub was completely empty . . . save for a small note on the wall:

“Spike, do not use bathtub. Just trust me on this one. Love, Twilight.”

The monster . . . me, looked at the tub for several seconds. It's empty. Nothing in there, not even a trace of a body.  Just Twilight's antics at play, meaning that I just killed someone for no reason. Then again, this isn't the first time, is it? I blinked, rubbing the back of my head. I stepped out of the bathroom, shivering as I hyperventilated.

“It's not?” I whispered to myself.

I ignored the question, feeling tears welling up the more I thought about it. Instead, I began to cry from the other fact at hand: I fucking killed someone. I ran up, skidding against the ground and falling into the pool of blood next to the now-lifeless Halcyon Blind. I ran to Twilight's bed, grabbing the blood-spattered blanket and yanking it off along with the sheets. Twilight's mattress was untouched by the blood, thankfully.

“Okay, time to dispose of this, and I know where,” I said.

Quickly, I placed one end of the blanket on Halcyon Blind, tucking an edge under his foreleg. I began rolling him, covering him up with the blanket. The blanket also had the bonus of soaking up some of the blood, but by the time I finished, it was almost completely soaked. It wouldn't do, so I ran around and grabbed another thick blanket, wrapped up the corpse and soggy blankets and prepped the body. A quick mop job and the floor was cleaned. The smell of iron still haunted the air.

Picking up the roll, I hoisted it over my shoulder, grunting as I supported the corpse. Without the blood in his body, he was much lighter but the blood that was on the blanket assaulted my nose with the smell. The questions flooded back into my mind.

Will I get away with this? Why did I say that it wasn't the first time? How did I know the Death Note's name? I mean, I'm 100% certain that it is. I shook my head, coming down from my initial panic. I was still hyperventilating as I processed the situation.

My mother is going to abandon me. Rarity did, my mother will too. I mean, I actually killed someone! I slit his throat, and for what? Because he lied to me? No, that's wrong. He was going to kill me . . . but he never tried to. I just lunged at him. What would she say if she saw me now? What would Princess Celestia say? What would Applejack say? Oh god, no, I'm going to go to jail. Or, no, I'll be executed by the Princess! Or by Twilight, or Rarity. Well, this was their plan, wasn't it? I'm a dragon, that's why they hired Halcyon. They sent him here to kill me so they don't have to do it, but now that I've killed him, they can frame me. THEY LIED!

Growling, I snapped back to reality, almost tearing the door of the library off the hinges. Doing a quick check outside, nopony was in the immediate area. The sun had set, making it dark enough to do this run. I dashed out into the streets, keeping to the sides as I passed by the buildings. The body continued to remind me of its presence with the smell. With each breath, I could practically taste it, magnifying the situation in my mind. The severity tripled and my breaths became more erratic.

After half an hour, I arrived at Ghastly Gorge. I like how the first instinct I had upon killing him was to hide the body . . . like a child hiding the bedsheets after he wet the bed. Actually there was no goddamned comparison here. The severity of my failure far outweighs pissing the bed. I'll still be reprimanded and scolded by Twilight, I'll be in trouble and get my punishment. The only difference is that the town of Ponyville will hang me by my nerve endings and stab my body until I rot. The thought made me shiver and all the more determined to hide my mess. This was a poorly thought out plan but at the moment, I felt like I could outsmart Twilight.

I came to the edge of the gorge and took a quick peek over the edge. A sloped edge with a hundred foot drop. A thick fog caressed the area and the crickets and owls kept me company, filling my mind with enough background noise to spur me into getting the job over. I threw the body onto the edge of the gorge, hoping it would roll down and out of my life. Of course it didn't. It remained atop the curve, causing me to groan.

Then hoofsteps sounded behind me. My entire body froze up and a chilled feeling went down my spine. Someone followed me out there, and the mystery only increased my panic.

I killed him.

I ran forward without a second thought and stopped in front of the roll of blankets. I placed my foot on it and kicked off to roll it down . . . except it unrolled as it did. As the body rolled down, the blankets unravelled and I just stared with wide eyes and fear. The moonlight refracted through the fog allowing me to see the event. The blankets finished unravelling, and there was no body, no blood or any sign of a mess. I leaned back, falling onto my rear.

“Who's there?” a voice asked from behind.

That voice . . . I know that voice. Turning around, I was facing Halcyon Blind.

“Hey, friend. I thought I saw you come out this way,” he said, smiling at me. “I thought you were gonna off y'self out here.”

Looking at him, I confirmed it. It was actually him, not some duplicate. That grin, the wings, the stance; it was him.

[*][*][*]

There was still blood on my body, somehow. The bathroom of the library still had the scented candle burning away as I washed myself. It was useless, though. The blood on my hands would not come off regardless of the soap or scrubbing. It was there and plaguing my mind just as the events of recent days have.

Glancing up in the mirror, Halcyon Blind was standing in the doorway, smoking a cigarette while sporting his usual neck twitch. Watching him twitch, something bugged me. He wasn't hostile towards me. He never once said that he killed Featherweight, just that he was gone. He merely took out a knife and held it up. He wasn't threatening, he just looked like it. I thought he was a threat, and attempted to kill him.

Then again, this isn't the first time, is it?

. . .

It's not. It's not the first time.

Halcyon had subtle movements, but his glance was directed at me. Half-lidded eyes, a gentle smirk, and the instant I thought that line, he nodded his head like a mind reader. His expression wasn't one of contempt or hatred. It wasn't that of a criminal. It wasn't the look of a threat. It was the solemn look of a victim as he lived with it.

“I know who you are.” My lip quivered.

The pony whose name is written in this notebook shall die.

“I know . . . who you are.” Tears welled up in my eyes.

I'm going to kill every stallion that threatens my Rarity.

“I k-know . . . w-who you a-are.”

Murder. It was murder, Rarity.

“You aren't a stupid Dragon, Spike. You're smart, far smarter than anypony I know,” a female voice spoke out.

I looked around but never found the source of the voice. Halcyon Blind slid to the ground, his breathing becoming more erratic.

“Dreams are how we sort out the truth, and it is my job to ensure dreams are pleasant. But to one who shuts out the truth, they are but a nightmare.”

. . .

I cried. Against Twilight's bed, I cried. Tears flowed without halt as did my memories and emotions. Looking at my basket, which wasn't destroyed, I pulled it closer to me. Halcyon Blind was gone . . .  because he wasn't Halcyon Blind. I killed Golden Shutter, that's all there is to it.

Pulling out the pink research journal, I flipped the pages to the end. The last page with Twilight's penmanship, it had the blank where the killers name would go. I reached for a pen, but stopped. This isn't how I write in notebooks. Instead, I poked my chest with my claw until blood coated the tip, and I wrote one little name down on the page.

SPIKE THE DRAGON

MURDEROUS MONSTER

[*][*][*]

Twilight's bed was soft, and I'm glad I woke up in it. It was much better than my crummy ol' basket, which was tucked away nicely. The bed Twilight bought me wasn't paid for, regardless of what she said. She just had the order form as well as the money ready to go. It ships today, but unfortunately, we're gonna have to hold out on it.

Grumbling, Twilight rolled off the bed, stretching with audible cracks in her spine. A moan escaped her lips as she finished, scratching her messy hair as she proceeded to the bathroom. I would have panicked had last night not occurred, probably.

“Spike, we should do something fun,” Twilight shouted from the bathroom.

Grumbling, I rolled off the bed, hitting the floor face first. I shook it off and staggered down the stairs to the lower part of the room before stopping, sitting down on the bottom step.

“Like what?” I asked, yawning. Another restless night . . .  but that's about to change.

I noticed my body had shrunk back down to it's typical size. Well, not really. I was inches taller than when I started growing. Not enough for anypony but me to notice it, or maybe I was just slumping. Either way.

“A picnic. We haven't had one with the girls in forever. You, Pinkie, Applejack, Rainbow, Fluttershy, your girlfriend and I.” A spit followed by a running sink. “Maybe this weekend, we can just sit down and have a good time. No world crisis, no freakouts or breakdowns. Just fun for the heck of it.”

I nodded my head, smiling. “In a few years, we should go someplace. Far away. Our friends could come, and so could your parents. Everypony could come, and we'll have a grand adventure. Lots of laughing, playing, mystery and discovery. An unyielding bond, deepening between us. I may not depart for this journey the same time as you guys, but I'll catch up. We can talk about the good old days.”

Tears rolled down my eyes. It was hitting me hard to say this, and I knew why. I leaned against the stairs, ignoring the bad feeling radiating from my spine. Several clopping sounds headed my way, clicking against the wood like a gentle symphony. Twilight sat down on my lap and leaned forward, hugging me.

“Spike, I'm a little tired, do you mind if I have a quick nap before getting up for the day?” Twilight said, squeezing me tightly.

“Only if you leave my internal organs intact, mother,” I coughed up jokingly.

She giggled, and let out a deep sigh. “I love you, Spike. Say we go on this journey of yours, will you promise to write every day until you depart?” Twilight asked, smiling up at me.

I sat up, holding her as she yawned, slowly falling back asleep. “I'll write a letter a day, detailing the pain I feel until I leave. Endless adventures in a world of endless possibilities.”

Twilight was already snoring by the time I finished. She must be exhausted, or maybe she's not used to getting up this early. I caressed her cheek, brushing the hair out of her eyes. Quietly and gently, I lifted her up, carried her back to her bed and gently set her under the sheets. Looming over her, I leaned forward, kissing her on the cheek.

“I've gotta go for a while, and I won't be back until I depart for the journey, okay?” I said quietly, allowing my steamy tears to fall onto her face.

Quickly, I grabbed the pink notebook, taking a glance at the cover.

THIS NOTEBOOK IS PROPERTY OF TWILIGHT SPARKLE

I gently set it on the bed next to her pillow, and looked over to the door. So much time has passed since it all started. All of this madness and horror. The nightmare never ended because the psycho was still at large . . . but this story will end peacefully for the heroes.

Downstairs, I cooked a nice breakfast for Twilight before I left. Simple, but I put all my effort into it. There was something about creating that just appealed to me. Be it food, art, letters or whatnot. Creating was better than destroying . . . and giving is better than taking. It's wrong to take a life, and now I'm going to give something back. Stepping to the door, I glanced around the room, taking in the gentle, oak-scented atmosphere. It would be a long time until I saw this again, and maybe it's for the best.

[*][*][*]

Ponyville . . . Looking at it, I see a beautiful town full of loving ponies and great friends. Big adventures, tons of fun. None of that is for me, though. I can't do it, because I'm not one of the loving ponies or great friends. I am a dragon, a monster, and I will outlive everyone here. Silently, I bid the morning town goodbye. For how long? I don't know, but there is no way I would just sit back and accept this.

Sluggishly dragging my brazen body through the crusty dirt roads of Ponyville morning towards a particular building. Spotting a fashionista's boutique, I gave it a side glance, passing it as I continued onward. Within seconds, I noticed a presence behind me, none other than the fashionista herself. She wasn't getting closer but she was behind me, meaning she was cautious about approaching me. That's fine. How did I know it was her? Simple. Elegant hoofsteps, genius. She was easily 50 feet behind me, only audible due to the silence.

Upon settling my stride towards a building, my mind realized there was no turning back now. I stopped just outside of the doors and turned around, only to realize it wasn't the fashionista. She was further back, just a white dot in the horizon. This was Halcyon Blind.

No, it was Golden Shutter. He gave a solemn look, smiling sadly at me. I reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, and it touched. There was only coldness from the touch, and it pained me to the heart.

“Everyone makes mistakes, friend. Just sleep on it,” he said.

“Hello, Spike,” a female voice sounded behind me.

Turning, I saw Rarity with a set of saddlebags on her body. A quick glance back to the right, Golden Shutter shook his head.

“Hello . . . Rarity, I'm sorry that I can't stand to chat, but I'm busy. There's something I have to do,” I said quietly.

She awkwardly shifted her hooves, kicking the ground. She couldn't find the words to speak, so she just looked up at me, smiling.

“No matter, I'm simply going to Canterlot. I'm . . .  sorry for last night. So I guess . . . I'll see you around, then,” she said, her voice cracking.

She took a step forward, I took one back. She looked at me, somewhat hurt and I glanced back to Golden. He looked through the doors of the building and I grit my teeth. Ignoring my doubt, I stepped forward and embraced Rarity in a hug.

“We're all gonna take a big, long journey sometime later. Our friends, Ponyville, Equestria. Better plan as soon as possible, don't want you running out of love and beauty before then,” I said.

“Ah, a journey sounds so delightful. Just a grand adventure of fun and love,” Rarity whispered. Our embrace ended, and she smiled at me. “I'll see you when I get back?”

I looked at her, opening my mouth to speak before closing it, smiling. “I hate goodbyes, so . . . take care,” I said, turning away.

“Goodbye, Spikey-wikey. Even though I don't act like it, I love you. Please remember that,” Rarity's voice said, growing quieter as she walked back.

And that was all I needed. All the motivation I needed to go through with this. Stepping into the building, I approached the desk in a quiet room with some activity. A Royal Guard stood behind the desk, mindlessly stamping papers. He looked up at me, waiting for me to speak. Once more, I glanced outside the doors. I saw Golden Shutter nodding at me, holding up a mug of coffee. A gentle smile defined his face, and I nodded at him. I turned back to the guard, exhaling heavily. I looked at him, gulped, and spoke.

“I'd like to report a murder.”

[*][*][*]

Gentle tugging at my weakened arms led me down a short, white hallway. Two Royal Guards escorted me throughout the building before stopping at a door. Quickly, their horns lit up and the doors opened.

“We'll need to get this on record,” one of them said.

I shook my head. “Later, I need to sleep.” I stumbled into the temporary holding cell, falling onto the bed. I haven't had a proper sleep since the vacation . . . but even then, I had some trouble, didn't I? “This is . . . all we can do right now,” I mumbled.

“Oh, your highness,” the guards said, bowing.

I lazily glanced out the door, watching as Princess Luna strolled into the cell, a casual stride and solemn expression. I averted my gaze, just waiting for her to do her business.

“The night is mine, and anything that happens under its dank cloak I shall witness. I am not our sister but a recluse,” she said. I rolled my eyes to the best of my ability before growling. “I know what you wish for, but to execute you is nothing but pitiful revenge.” She looked around the room, biting her lip while I struggled to stay awake. “It's been a year since my nephew died. I'll just leave it at that,” she said before exiting the cell, closing the door.

I yawned, feeling sleep—proper sleep—coming for once. My eyes stopped responding as they fell to the intoxicating drowsiness along with my body, regardless of my uncomfortable sitting position on the bed.

“I just wanted to protect Rarity.”

Epilogue - Rejuvenation

Several clangs woke me from my rustic sleep. A quick stretch and a stifled yawn later, I sat up on the stone that made up my bed. Long ago have normal beds stopped doing the trick for me. I kept breaking them and every time I slept in one, certain memories returned to me. Groggily turning towards the source of the sound, I took a quick glance around the room. Cobblestone, spacious, toilet that fit my body's size, and thick metal bars with the radius of a pop can.

Outside the bars stood a pony two feet shorter than me; a gentle mare in a uniform reminiscent of the Royal Guard armour, the only difference being cloth. White fur, light blonde mane and tail in an up-do fashion and purple eyes. Her Cutie Mark... didn't matter. She gave me a big, bright smile as she knocked on the bars with a billy club.

“Mister Spike, today's the day,” she said with excitement in her voice.

I smiled at her, scratching my head sheepishly. I was three feet taller than when I first came in here which was long ago enough that I felt like I wanted to go through with this. I stood up, stepping towards the bars of the cell. I leaned against the wall and she sat down right in front of the bars.

“So, what's new with the world today, Miss Shutter?” I asked, smacking my dry lips.

“Well, Princess Celestia announced the date of the Grand Galloping Gala and Peach Shutter got the lead role in the school play. Mister Shutter got a job at the Las Pegasus company, The Archive,” the mare replied.

Leaning back, clinking my head on the stone walls, I sighed. “The Archive . . . that brings up some memories I'd like to forget. I wouldn't accept it if I did, however, so that's out of the question. Ah well, how's he liking it?” I asked.

“Starts today, but he's ecstatic. He peppered me and Peach with about thirty-thousand kisses before leaving, however,” she responded.

“How many boy cooties does Peach have now?” I asked, chuckling.

“Enough that she tried using a Cold Card to get out of school, the little bugger,” she responded, giggling.

We both laughed for a few seconds before silence took over. We both allowed our thoughts to run for several minutes, enjoying the silence. We glanced at each other, smiling. This was going to end... maybe.

“150 years in prison, and I still feel just fine,” I said. “I get out today, so these daily meetings are going to end.”

She shook her head. “I wouldn't allow that. Peach and Mister Shutter have heard me relay stories about you to the point where Peach brags to her friends about having a dragon as a friend. I wouldn't want to make her a liar, and I bet you'll need someone to help you get back on your hooves, or feet.” She folded her forelegs, smirking. I looked at her, unsure about the whole choice. “Tonight, I'll show you to my place. You can meet my family, finally, and we'll have a nice dinner. And we'll talk about the reason you're in here. Help you get over it.”

Smirking, I sighed. “Peach shouldn't be hearing about murder.”

Miss Shutter shook her head, shaking a hoof. “No, you got big time for stealing a pack of gum, don't lie to me, mister.”

“Right. All the kids were raving about Steelfire Sonic Rainboom Heat. I didn't have the five cents, and the rest is history,” I said, chortling.

“Did you at least taste it?” she asked.

“Swallowed the whole package, wrapper and all,” I responded smugly, folding my arms.

“Haha, well . . . how about it? Dinner before going back to your new suite? Or stay the night, I know how you young dragon's get scared without your mommy or nightlight,” she quipped, poking me in the nose.

Crinkling my snout, I smiled at her, snorting. I thought for a few seconds before nodding my head. “Sure. I'll visit your family, and spend the night. Where and when, though? I have a few errands to run that I've waited far too long to do,” I replied.

“What erra—” she stopped. She looked at my face, her smile slowly vanishing as a solemn look took over. She looked away, avoiding a tearful outburst. She nodded, her smile taking over as her eyes slightly watered. “Sorry for the tears, but even thought you don't want me to, I feel sad for you when I hear you talk about them.”

“Ah, it's fine,” I said, standing up, doing a proper stretch. “Ah, nothing like a bit of cobblestone against the ol' spine.”

“51 Carousal Ave., Ponyville. Next to the Carousal Boutique which is, by the way, a total coincidence.” She stood up as well, dusting her uniform off. She smiled at me, wiping her eyes. “7:00 PM is dinner.”

“Alright, and if I'm not there, I'll be visiting my mother. Come get me if I'm not there by 6:30, alright?” I replied.

She nodded, and she extended her forelegs through the bars. I looked down at her before facing her, shaking my head. “I wasn't going to hug you the first time, and I won't do it now.” She pouted at me and I looked up to the ceiling in thought. “Actually, when you see me in the outside world, I will probably need one.”

“It's a promise,” she said, merrily skipping down the hall.

“A promise? Dammit, now I can't take it back,” I joked, shaking my head.

A laugh was the only response I got, followed by a door opening and closing.

[*][*][*]

The air was reminiscent of an arid desert, but being the middle of summer, it was expected. There was a massive heatwave, but I never covered up. I basked in the inferno of the sun, reflecting sunlight off my scales like a disco ball.  New shine after being released and a quick swim in the lake near Ponyville was all I needed. Prison didn't have swimming, which may have been my biggest complaint. Oh well.

I gave myself a quick retour of Ponyville, having been away for 150 years... and my, did those years speed by. I remembered how broken I was when I last heard her voice.

“NO, GIVE HIM BACK! YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME! HE'S MY SON, LET HIM GO!”

It always made me tear up, no matter how good I felt. I wanted my last memory of her to be nothing but love and typical Twilight. Instead, I got pain and suffering. I guess I deserved it, but I can make amends.

Finally, I reached my destination. The tour only revealed the everlasting expansion of Ponyville. Sweet Apple Acres, still thriving. The Carousal Boutique was run by one of Sweetie Belle's grandchildren. Rarity never bothered to marry or date another after. I heard this from Princess Luna after some of the guards bullied me by saying that Rarity became a worthless whore after I left. The others pursued their careers, typically. Rainbow got her dream, and Fluttershy continued being Fluttershy. Same with Pinkie Pie. Smiling until the end, even when the others couldn't. And then I came to it. Looking at it, I read the engraving in the stone:

TWILIGHT SPARKLE

1984 ANMS-2067 ANMS

Loving mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and Element of Magic.

Rest In Peace.

Then the engraving next to it...

RARITY

1982 ANMS-2074 ANMS

Loving daughter, sister, aunt, friend, and Element of Generosity

Rest In Peace

As if I was kicked in the gut, I lost the ability to breath and felt a huge pain in my chest. I fell to the ground against my knees, hugged my legs, and bawled once more.

“I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I just wanted to protect Rarity, and I hurt so many more in my stupid, bitchy fit.”

I laid there for several minutes that quickly turned to hours. I noticed the engravings on the tombstones that had their Cutie Marks as well as something else; Twilight had what was probably the design used on her Wedding Anklet while Rarity had the Fire Ruby necklace engraved into it. I caressed it, feeling a heat radiate with my touch. The jewel seem to glow, and I laid in between the two graves, staring up at the blue skies.

. . .

“6:47, Mister Spike.”

Tilting my head down, I saw the mare that kept me company for decades waiting. Adorned in a black dress, she stood in silence for a few minutes until I stood up. Without words, I stepped forward and we embraced each other in a hug. It lasted for minutes until I started bawling, where the hug then turned into a semi-tackle. I withheld my sobs in respect for the dead ears. After several minutes, I managed to compose myself and stood up, wiping my tears off.

“Hello, ma'am. My name is Spike the Dragon, loving son and lover, and I am at your service,” I said, saluting her before extending a claw to shake.

She saluted with me and shook my hand, smiling. “Lieutenant Gold Shutter, loving wife, mother, granddaughter, and protector of Equestria, at your service.”

We released each other and smiled. One final moment of praying to the tombstones followed, and I felt... much better. No more weight on my chest, and I sighed. Gold Shutter turned to leave, and took a few steps.

“Spike, come on. Come meet your new family,” she said. “Dinners gonna be molding by the time we get there.”

I chuckled, waving to her. “One more minute, please.”

I stared at the tombstones, sighing. All of the chaos came rushing back to me, and I felt myself shudder. A nightmare ended long ago haunts me to this day... but it's over. It's done, and no longer do I feel the urges to slaughter many at a whim. I turned away and followed Gold Shutter to the door before stopping. One final glance back, and I smiled.

“I've got some letters to write.”