ZOHMYWHAT

by cloudedguardian

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2701

The Mane6 play a horror game together.

One boring and dreary day, Rainbow Dash appears with a new game she has been looking forward to getting all month. With an evil grin, she invites all her friends to play it with her.
There is something suspicious about her sudden willingness to share, but everypony joins in anyway.

Join in on all the evil lulz.

(Goofy one-shot done on a stroke of inspiration from my favorite LPer.) {Now with sequel!}

Published 2012-09-22 16:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-31 22:37:09 UTC

Let's Play.

Most silly stories like to start off with “One bright and sunny afternoon~” and a lot of dark stories like to start off with “One dark and stormy night~” but this is neither, so it shall not start like that. This story is one of everyday occurrences that occurred during a rather dull day to a group of friends that made their boring day a lot more interesting. So…

One cloudy and cool Sunday morning, Rarity and Fluttershy found themselves with nothing to do. The spa was closed for cleaning, and it was too damp and chilly to go for a walk… Not that Rarity would want to in the first place, as it had rained the night before, and the roads were far too muddy for her liking to begin with. Pinkie Pie was out of parties, as Berry Punch had thrown her own party the night before, and most of Pinkie’s other friends were in bed nursing a hangover. Applejack had finished the farm work on Friday in anticipation of Saturday’s storm, and with Apple Bloom off on a Crusader sleepover, Macintosh on a date, and Granny Smith pleasantly occupied with needlepoint, even she had found herself with nothing to do.

One by one, the friends decided to go to Twilight’s, in the hope of a cozy fire and perhaps a good book to read that she would recommend. When they got there however, they were surprised at what they found.

Twilight was hooking up the computer she had gotten from Celestia for her birthday last year. She used it mostly to talk to her brother and parents, and keeping it safe and sound in its box when not in use. Rainbow Dash was hovering at her side, holding a CD in her hooves and rambling excitedly about letters and numbers or something with Twilight’s “uh-huh” punctuating the moments when RD stopped to breathe.

“What are you two doin’?” Applejack asked a little teasingly, as the four friends stepped into the warmth of the library.

“Oh hey girls.” Twilight looked away from the computer screen to smile at her friends, and was therefore unable to see the evil grin Rainbow Dash had gained.

“Oh, we’re just installing this awesome new game I got off the internet.” Rainbow said sweetly, while suppressing the evil laugh at the awesome horrible idea she had just gotten. “My Notebook that I won in the Wonderbolts contest isn’t strong enough to run it. It lags horribly.”

“Lags?” Fluttershy asked curiously.

“Lags means that it doesn’t run smoothly. It jolts and bumps as if it was playing and pausing repeatedly.” Twilight explained quickly. “Ok Rainbow, you can hand me the disc now, I’ve got a restore point done just in case.”

“You are so paranoid.” RD grumbled as she handed the small white disc to her friend.

“I have a lot of information and research materiel on here, I don’t want to lose it over a silly game.”

“It’s not a silly game, it’s buckin’ awesome.” Rainbow Dash corrected, earning nothing but an eye roll from Twilight in return.

And then that evil grin returned.

“Hey, uhm, I’ve got a cool idea. Why don’t we all take turns playing this game?” Rainbow Dash suggested, trying to keep her face straight as her eyes glinted mischievously.

“Oh, we couldn’t! I wouldn’t want to intrude, and it sounds like you’ve really been looking forward to playing it!” Rarity said quickly.

“Oh no no no, it wouldn’t be an ‘intrusion’ in the least! Because of how the game works, each… errr… level tends to end abruptly. Whenever it ends on one of us, or that pony quits, the next pony takes a turn! It’s way more fun that way too… Trust me.”

Applejack narrowed her eyes slightly at the pegasus. There was something about the way she said that that was in every way untrustworthy. At the same time though, she did seem to be telling the truth about it being more fun this way.

“Well, if ya’re sure, ah’d like to give it a whirl.”

“Great!” RD’s grin could give Pinkie’s a run for her money.

“If Dashie says it’s fun, I wanna play too!”

“Well, I’ve always been curious about video games…” Rarity admitted.

“A-alright, if you really don’t mind…” Fluttershy said, her timid smile getting a little bigger.

“Not at all!” Rainbow said happily. Not. At. All. Heh heh. “I’ll go get some pillows and chairs for everypony.” She said quickly, flying off before they could catch the look on her face.

Twilight had caught it however, but rather than saying anything, she just grinned a little to herself too. Despite being a little worried for Fluttershy, she simply had to see this.

Half-an-hour later, the game was installed and loading, everypony had a cushion and/or a seat, and RD was flying around blowing all the candles out.

‘Rainbow, darling, may I ask why you’re doing that?”

“It’s...uh… So you can see the screen better.”

“It adds to the game.” Twilight added, and Rainbow looked over at her in genuine surprise.

The two exchanged a devilish look and Rainbow’s grin returned. “That too. There’s just something about it being dark in the room you’re playing it in that makes it more…. Effective.”

“Effective?” Applejack repeated, her suspicions returning a little.

“Oh, you know… More fun!” Rainbow said sweetly as she landed, giving Twilight a small devilish grin. “So! Who’s going first?”

“Well, since it’s your game, you should probably have the first go.” Rarity suggested.

“Actually, I think Fluttershy should go first.”

Everypony looked at Twilight in surprise, before looking at RD. Rainbow Dash looked confused for a second, before understanding slowly dawned on her face.

“Ohhhhhhh… Oh yeah. Flutters should totally go first.”

“R-really? Well, if you really want me to.”

Twilight hopped off the seat to allow Fluttershy to climb up.

“So, uh, h-how do I play?”

“Here, you use these arrow keys to walk around, and you use the mouse to move the camera and look around.” Twilight instructed quickly, showing her friend where to put her hoof and how to hold the mouse.

“Oh-okay..”

“And you press this button to run, this one to blink, and this one to access your inventory. Got all that?”

“Oh, okay, yes… Seems simple enough.”

“Alright, just press that button when you’re ready.”

Twilight sat down beside Rainbow Dash as Fluttershy turned the game on, and the loading screen popped up.

“You know, for a second there, I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why you wanted Fluttershy of all ponies to go first.” Rainbow Dash whispered to Twilight.

“Please approach SCP 173 for testing.” The game called out.

“But then I clued in.”

Gunshots rang out from the speakers, and then as the screen went black a third time, with a banging hum, Fluttershy squeaked out a scream and fell out of the chair.

“You knew she wasn’t going to get past the opening sequence.”

“Eeyup.” Twilight replied promptly, sliding her gaze over to Rainbow who was somewhere between shaking her head in amazement and trying not to laugh hysterically at Fluttershy’s reaction.

Fluttershy picked herself back up, and looked at her friends a little sheepishly.

“You alright Fluttershy?” Twilight asked, sounding a bit concerned even as Rainbow muffled laughter.

“Y-yes I’m fine. But, uhm, if you don’t m-mind… Can I just watch?”

“Course ya can.” Rainbow said promptly. “Who’s next?”

Applejack stood up. “Ah’ll give it a shot.”

Applejack did much better. She wasn’t easily spooked, although she did jump spectacularly a few times. As she reached a red room, she looked around carefully, noting 173 on the camera.

“Ah guess I have to work my way around that thing to get out, huh?”

‘Yep. He can’t move and attack you as long as you keep direct eye contact.” Rainbow Dash hissed, the tips of her wings twitching in excitement.

“Alright. Ah’ll try then.”

With a hiss the door swung open, and Applejack stepped through- Immediately earning a face-full of smoke.

“Consarnet, what is all this stuff?!”

“RETREAT RETREAT!” Rainbow Dash yelled.

“Wha’da-“

With a disgusting crack and wheeze, the game over screen popped up.

“Tear gas.” Twilight deduced promptly.

“…Ah’m dead.” Applejack dead panned, before furrowing her brow and looking frustrated. "Dang it!”

“Aw, don’t worry about it AJ, 173’s a brat.”

“Ooh ooh! I bet that’s what that gas mask you found is for!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, bouncing up and down her pillow. “Let me try, let me try!”

“Okay okay, Pinkie’s turn.” RD laughed, and Pinkie bounded into the computer seat.

Pinkie Pie did amazingly well. It was if she had her Pinkie sense in-game. She worked her way cautiously around 173, and found the items she needed rather quickly. With every bump and hiss that caused the other girls to jump, she would burst out giggling. Her laughter was contagious, and even Fluttershy had soon climbed up near the screen to watch and enjoy her wacky running commentary.

“HIYA GIANT WHITE TEDDY! I’ll just be innnn~ching around you, so just stay right there… OK BYE!”

Not a minute had passed when a loud dong rang out as the light’s flickered, and 173 was nose to nose with her. Fluttershy squeaked and hid behind Applejack and Twilight, but Pinkie just giggled again.

“Hi again! Wow, you’re fast!”

Her friends started snickering again as Pinkie inched around it and locked it in the room behind her. She was half-way down the hall when the door opened audibly.

‘Hey, Twilight, can Teddy open doors?”

“Apparently…. Yes.”

“Oooh. RUN!” Pinkie yelled suddenly, making all her friends jump and her character dash forward. She got through to the next room, and shut the door behind her again.

“Number… I can’t read it. Object class.. Safe? Does that mean it’s friendly?”

“Oh, thaaaat. You can use that to upgrade stuff.” Rainbow Dash replied.

Pinkie enjoyed messing around with it and chopping up and upgrading her stuff, but she made one mistake.

“And finally, I’m gonna upgrade… ME!”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea Pinkie…” Twilight said slowly, but Pinkie did it anyway.

She shot out the other side with a whoop.

“Hey look Dashie! I’m as fast as you now! VRROOOM.”

“Oh neat! I didn’t know you could do that.”

Pinkie flew through the next two rooms, and literally outran 173. Then; The sound of heart-beat. Growing louder, and louder, and faster and faster until… The screen went black with a loud buzzing noise and a wheeze.

“Oops. I died.” Pinkie said bluntly, blinking a few times before giggling. “Oh well! Your turn Rarity!”

Rarity was a nervous player. She jumped at every grating of stone, and the first time the walls shook in a deafening roar, she nearly jumped out of her seat.

“What was that?!” She squeaked, and Twilight had to grab the printed up SCP wiki Rainbow had brought to find out.

“SCP 682, the indestructible lizard. Hoo boy, if he’s gotten out, we’re going to be in big trouble.”

“Th-that looks really bad…” Fluttershy whispered, as she looked at the page over Twilight’s shoulder.

“You mean awesome! Come on Rarity, try to find him!” Rainbow whispered excitedly in the unicorn’s ear.

“No way!” Rarity hissed back.

Very slowly, Rarity worked away through the game and eventually to another SCP room whose picture showed a coffin.

“Well, the last one was helpful… As long as discretion was used anyway. I’m going inside.” Rarity declared, before opening the door and trotting in. “Hmm, a surveillance camera… So... 173 I wonder if you're he-“

Rarity almost jumped out of her skin as Twilight and RD gasped.

“NO NO NO, DON’T LOOK AT THE SCREEN, DON’T LOOK AT THE SCREEEEEENNN” Rainbow yelled, grabbing the back of the computer chair and shaking it.

“Ra-a-a-I-I-nbo-o-o-w D-a-a-sh” Rarity said, her voice shaking from the force of which RD was yanking on the chair. Twilight swatted Rd’s hooves off, allowing Rarity to speak normally again. “ You’re supposed to look at the screen, it’s a surveillen- GAH WHAT WAS THAT?!”

“RUN RARITY RUN!!” Twilight yelled, and Rarity tore her gaze from the screen to flee from the security room.

She stopped in the hallway above the staircase to wheel on RD and Twilight. “What was that thing?! It had glowing eyes, and waaaaay too many teeth- It was horrible! It’s not down there is it?!”

“Eh? No, of course not. This SCP just likes to drive people crazy through electronic devices. That’s why I told you not to look at the screen. If you had stuck around for another ten seconds, you woulda died.” Rainbow explained promptly, before giving Rarity a huge, evil, goofy grin.

“You could have informed me of that ahead of time…” Rarity grumbled as she turned back to the game.

“Yeaaah, I could of…” Rainbow said slowly, before turning to Twilight. “But what’s the fun in that?”

Rarity rolled her eyes and slowly crept down the stairs.

“Doesn’t the old man like to lurk around the coffin?” Twilight asked Rainbow cautiously, while trying not to take her eyes off the screen.

Rainbow’s grin went from knowing to evil. “Eeeyup.”

“Old man? Who’s that?” Rarity asked quickly, looking briefly away from the screen to look at the two, before snapping her gaze back to the game.

“Ah… uhm… Him.” Rainbow said, nodding sharply as the music changed and a sickening slimy sound began to drip from the speakers.

“GAAAAH, EWW NO. NO WHAT IS THAT THING. NO NO NO-“ Rarity ended in a wince.

“Annnnd, you’re dead.” Twilight declared, as the game over screen popped up.

“I am not playing this game as long as that THING is in it.” Rarity snapped, turning to glare at Rainbow Dash.

‘Well, you’re dead, so it doesn’t matter. Turn over! Your go Twilight.” Rainbow said evilly, poking the purple unicorn beside her with the tip of her hoof.

An hour later, Spike opened the door to the library to find all six ponies crowded around the computer screen as Twilight poked buttons frantically.

“HE’S RIGHT ON YOUR TAIL! RUUUUUNNN!!” Rainbow yelled, as the other girls squealed in fright, Fluttershy ducking behind the chair and AJ pulling her hat down.

“I know I know! Rainbow you’re in my ear.”

“Look out! TEDDY!”

“GAH! Ruddy 173 GET OUTTA MY WAY!”

“Okay, GO GO GO.”

‘Thank you for the obvious Applejack-“

“HE’S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!”

“GAH!”

“RUN! Run run run run run” Fluttershy yelled, startling everypony but Twilight.

Then, a moment of darkness and the grating of stone.

“Wooooaaaah, new area…” Rainbow whispered.

‘What’s that? A note?” Pinkie asked, squinting at the screen.

“I want to taste your lungs? EWWWW.”

Everypony jumped out of their skin with a yelp as Spike suddenly spoke. They stared down at him, and he stared up at them, and then burst out laughing.

‘You should see the look on all your faces! HAHAHAHAHA!” Spike fell over, clutching his stomach, and the girls looked at each other, before starting to giggle as well.

“Awwww, game over. You were doing so well too Twi.” Rainbow sighed.

“It’s just a game.” Twilight chuckled, as she hopped off her computer chair. “So Spike, since you’re here, I take it that means it’s time to go for dinner?”

Spike took a couple of gasps of air as he struggled to regain composure and wiped a tear from his eye. “Ha ha, yep.”

“I guess that’s it then.” Twilight said simply, smiling at her friends as Applejack turned on the lights again.

“That was awesome.” RD laughed, standing up and giving a stretch.

“So… uhm… D-do you think we can all do this again next week..?”

There was a moment of dead, shocked, silence as everypony stared at Fluttershy. Then, Twilight slowly grinned.

‘Oh, I think that’s quite likely. What do you think Rainbow Dash?”

“Definitely!”

“Alright, make a date, and ah’ll be there.”

“Me too!”

“Wouldn’t miss it. Especially since next time, it’s YOUR turn Rainbow Dash.” Rarity said promptly, shooting an evil grin at RD.

“Ha ha, you bet.”

THE END!

....For now.

Happy Nightmare Night everypony!

Cause we've got a sequel.

ZOHMYWHAT2