Applejack checked her surroundings, looking every single direction she could before entering Sugarcube Corner.

The bakery was oddly empty of customers. The only pony inside was Pinkie Pie, who was acting just as shifty as Applejack as she stood behind the corner. Her usual cheery smile was replaced by a determined pouting purse of her lips.

Applejack sidled up to the counter, her eyes still scanning around her to see if anyone else was around. “Ya ready?”

“Let’s do it.”

Pinkie Pie punched in a few of the keys on the cash register, pulling the lever on the side. The floor gave way, dropping both earth ponies down below.

What followed wasn’t a steep endless drop, but a slick and slippery slide all the way down to Pinkie’s underground party cave, completely with a few sharp turns and a loop-de-loop for good measure.

Once the ride was over, Pinkie took Applejack past several candy-stuffed filing cabinets to the main part of the room, a table next to a bulletin board with twenty-five pictures of the different participants. A red string going down divided the board in half, with the left side having a red felt X, and the right side with a green felt checkmark.

Of course, being Pinkie, the table was also full of snacks and sweets.

“Alright, let’s get started.” Pinkie sat at one end of the table, folding her hooves, before reaching out to grab some popcorn to shove in her mouth.

Applejack nodded, sitting on the opposite end. “Right, just cause they get to play doesn’t mean we don’t make our own fun!” She looked over at the board. “So, who should we talk about first?”

“Hmmm, Dashie’s a good place to start,” Pinkie mused, taking Rainbow Dash’s picture off the wall and putting it on the table.

“Yeah, considering there’s a loooooot to talk about with her,” Applejack chuckled. “She sure surprised us last year by making it the whole month, makes it harder to determine if she’s gonna do it twice in a row.”

“She knows the sweet taste of victory now, but that doesn’t mean she’ll be able to get it again, so easily,” Pinkie said with a mouthful of chocolate bars, “Whether it was willpower or luck, she still had a pretty good reason to win.”

Applejack gave a little chuckle of disbelief. “What, like she didn’t have enough motivation for the last few years, losing all the time?”

“Well, last year was different…” From underneath the table Pinkie Pie pulled out a picture of Daring Do.

“Riiiight, a celebrity crush’ll do that…” Applejack nodded in agreement.

“Without Daring Do participating, there might be less incentive for Dashie to win. Especially considering who she might be sharing the winner’s circle with…” Pinkie pulled the pictures of Windy Whistles and Zephyr Breeze down.

“Yyyyep, that’d be a problem,” Applejack smirked. “Zephyr’s kinda been Dash’s anti-horny strategy for a while, even if it didn’t work. She’s NOT gonna be happy if she makes it to the orgy with either Zephyr or her mom. Would it be enough to make her drop out entirely, though?”

“She might wanna stay in if Zephyr and Windy both lost early on,” Pinkie wondered out loud. “How likely would that be, though?”

Applejack pulled the picture of Zephyr to her side. “Hmm, I’m pretty sure Zephyr’s just gonna be gunning for Rainbow Dash the whole time. I’m gonna guess that either both of them will be in or out by the end of the month. Might be a coin toss on those two, really.”

“Hmm, then what about Windy?” Pinkie asked, pouring caramel syrup over the bowl of potato chips. “She’s still probably a big factor for Rainbow Dash.”

“True, though probably not as big as Zephyr. Though we know how she’d probably act if she made it in,” Applejack chuckled. “Suuuuper embarrassingly.”

Pinkie giggled alongside her partner, “I dunno, she’d probably still want to have fun with a bunch of others. It might not be toooo distracting for her. I’m gonna say maaaaybe for now, and put Dashie in the ‘no’ category.”

Pinkie was about to put Dash’s picture back up on the left side of the board, but Applejack’s hoof stopped her.

“Hold on, Pinkie. Ah think you’re forgetting that Dash still has plenty of motivation this year?”

Pinkie tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

Applejack pointed at the photos of Gilda, Gabby, and Gallus, raising an eyebrow with a smirk.

“Oh yeaaaah…” Pinkie moved Dash’s picture to the right side, but kept Zephyr in the middle for now.

“Alright, well what about Limestone?” Applejack asked, taking her picture off the wall. “She’s your sister, what do you think?”

“Ooh, good question.” Pinkie put a hoof to her chin in contemplation. “Honestly I don’t really see her getting pretty far.”

“Really?”

“Yeaaaah, Limestone may act tough, but she’s definitely a super softie!” Pinkie said, putting Limestone’s picture on the left side of the board. “I can definitely see her losing preeeetty hard.”

“Heh, if ya say so.”

“Hmmm…what about Rarity?” Pinkie asked, grabbing her photo from the board. “I think she’s got a pretty good shot this year! No incredibly stressful work to do for the month means she won’t need to seek out any sort of stress relief.”

“Yeah, but I kinda hope she loses this year,” Applejack said flatly, trying to push Rarity’s picture to the left side.

Pinkie giggled as she fought back against Applejack’s hoof. “Still feeling sore that she ate you out, huh?”

Applejack crossed her hooves and pouted. “Course Ah am. And Ah would’ve won, too if it weren’t for her…” she grumbled.

“Heehee, well at least you don’t have to worry about that this year.”

“Yeah, though she might have something else to worry about…” Applejack said with a low tone and a slowly growing grin on her face.

“Ooookaaaay, uh…well, we talked about my sister, so what about your cousin Babs?” Pinkie quickly tried to change the subject, while also sneaking in a donut or two, or seven.

Applejack looked over at Babs’s portrait. “Babs? Hm…Last I recall, she’s more interested in makin’ others lose than actually winning herself. She’ll probably go out, but…”

“It’s a question of who she’s bringing down with her,” Pinkie nodded. “Now thaaaat’s a whole new can of gummy worms.”

Applejack looked over at the list of ponies on the board. “And there’s plenty of fresh targets for her…”

“Ooh…we might need more snacks,” Pinkie noted, looking at the now-empty bowl on the table.

Author's Note

Continuing the trend of "following Earth Ponies that didn't get enough votes to participate".