Twilight tilted her head back to read the huge sign above the front gates:
CANTERLOT UNIVERSITY
She found herself feeling a tad nervous, which seemed to make her the odd one out. Swiveling her head from side to side, she found hundreds of freshmen happily hugging their parents, saying goodbye and running off to the gates with bags in tow, while Twilight herself remained stock still.
Where the heck is Lyra? She thought to herself. Though to be honest, she wasn’t sure if Lyra being here would make her less nervous, or more. Twilight’s parents had dropped her off half an hour ago (and half a mile away), and another nervous glance at the Find My Phone app confirmed that they had actually left the campus as instructed.
It was the first time in Twilight’s life that she hadn’t wanted her parents to know what she was up to at school. It was also the first time she’d ever felt unprepared — woefully unprepared — for the lessons that awaited her.
But that’s why she was here, right?
Canterlot U was situated outside the normal city limits, despite the name. The grounds were surrounded by a stately fence and thick forestry. At least that’s something, right? It’s kindof like Ponyville. Beyond the gates, Twilight could see an impressive array of old buildings covered with ivy and laced with many decades of history.
Nervously tapping her fingers against the straps of her bag, she tried to calm herself by reciting the names of the campus buildings from the map she had memorized several weeks earlier. But as her eyes wandered from one august edifice to another, she unfortunately caught sight of a twelve-foot-tall poster which was proudly displayed right next to the door where most of the Freshman crowd was congregating. The poster said “Freshman Orientation!!!!” above the image of an extremely excited girl with poofy pink hair who was screaming with joy and tossing her arms in the air.
Also, she was topless.
As in…topless.
As in…her tits were hanging out right there for everyone to see.
Twilight’s eyes snapped shut like mousetraps. Nevermind. This is NOT like Ponyville.
She tried reasoning with herself. Ok, Twilight, just, just…get it together, alright? You can do this. It’s school. It’s a SCHOOL. You walk in, you learn the rules, you meet some friends maybe, and then you…get absurdly awkward and make a fool of yourself in front of EVERYONE. Just don’t think about it. Just don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t-
“Check out those TITS!”
Thanks A LOT, Lyra! Twilight turned her head towards her newly-arrived friend before opening her eyes. “You took your time in getting here!” she hissed.
“Yeah, I should’ve been quicker!”
Twilight stared her down for a moment before Lyra suddenly got the message.
“Oh, right! Sorry. I, uh…forgot that you’re…” she fumbled for words, glancing back at the poster.
“Uncomfortable?”
“Uncomfortable! Right! I was gonna say that.”
“Don’t lie, Lyra.”
“I mean I would have said it, eventually. I was just distracted by the uh… you know the-” she gestured.
“You grew up in the same town I did” whispered Twilight, “How are you ok with this?”
“Well there’s this thing called the internet, and if you search for-”
Twilight threw her hands up and spun around. “Nevermind! I don’t want to hear it.”
A few moments later she heard Lyra’s voice from behind. “Twi…it’s not like it’s a surprise, right? It’s on the website. We talked about this.”
She remembered, of course. She’d been reciting it in her head the whole car ride over here. “Canterlot University. A Sex-Positive Campus.”
“And you…wanted to learn…not to be awkward, right? Because it turns out you’re not Ace.”
“I wish I was!"
“But you’re not. Are you?”
Twilight sighed and turned around. “No…apparently I’m straight.”
“And that’s ok.”
Lyra gave her an encouraging smile and a shrug.
“It’s just orientation, right? How weird could it get?”
All things considered, the poster had been a bit tame.
Twilight and Lyra had just found their seats in the auditorium when the pink-haired girl from the poster had proven herself to be distressingly real by bounding on stage and screaming “WELCOME TO ORIENTATION! I'M PANSEXUAL!”
Her utterly unclothed breasts seemed to bounce of their own accord as the girl onstage beamed and pumped her fists. Most of the students cheered. Twilight buried her face in her palms.
It wasn’t as if Twilight had never seen breasts before — she had taken showers, after all. But this was very much the first time she’d seen someone else’s breasts in anything other than an anatomical diagram. She had a mental flash of this girl being featured in a medical textbook, but quickly concluded that the girl would probably jump right off the page somehow.
And then she would probably have sex with somebody, and she’d probably giggle the whole time.
Why do we have to do this? Can’t we just do calculus? I like calculus.
Lyra shot Twilight a look of concern as Twilight tried to hide her blush.
An elegant girl stepped onto the stage from behind a curtain. This one was at least wearing something on her upper half, though it did have a plunging neckline unlike anything Twilight had ever seen. “What Pinkie Pie means to say” said the newcomer “ is that this is orientation for Canterlot University. Pinkie Pie and myself joined Canterlot U just last year. Professors will be along shortly, but we always like to start off with students meeting students. Sex will be discussed of course, but later on you’ll also be hearing about more practical matters..”
“Rarity is HOT!” yelled Pinkie Pie. Then she made an overly-dramatic gasp. “But she’s taken!"
Some of the students gasped too. Twilight couldn’t tell if they were actually disappointed or if they were just playing along. Is everyone more into this than I am??
“But!” said Pinkie, suddenly jumping up again, “That doesn’t mean you can’t think about her when you masturbate!!”
Rarity gave a demure smile and actually posed a little bit while students (mostly the boys) began hooting and hollering. Twilight looked around frantically to see that some of her fellow Freshman were taking their tops off to be more like Pinkie Pie, and Twilight desperately tried to stop herself from imagining what might come next.
I can’t do this I can’t do this I CAN’T DO THIS.
Lyra whispered urgently in her ear. “Hey. Are you ok?”
Twilight couldn’t believe it. I’m going to fail. I’m gonna fail! I’m gonna fail out of college on my first DAY. I’m not going to grade me on orientation I guess but how am I going to get to CLASS when I can’t DEAL with how people…just….do things…here! And on Tuesday I’m going to have a sex-ed class! I signed up for a sex ed class! “Oh sure” I thought! “Sure, I can do that! It’s a CLASS!” And now I’m falling apart and I…I just can’t….
She was breathing quickly now, staring down at the desk in front of her. Lyra put a reassuring hand on her back while the girls onstage continued their presentation.
“I know you’re eager for certain activities,” said Rarity, “but we do have certain rules. No bodily fluids spilled in auditoriums, for obvious reasons. There’s also a vigorous STD testing program which will explained to you by Nurse Redheart momentarily. But seeing you all opted in for the fast-track program, we’ll get through all of that quite quickly.”
Lyra and Twilight looked at each other. Lyra raised her hand and called out to the stage.
“I’m sorry, did you say fast track?”
“Yes,” said Rarity. “You did sign up for it, didn’t you?”
“Uh…”
Rarity brought a hand to her mouth. “Pinkie, did you check them at the door to make sure they’re all in the right room?”
“What?! I thought you were doing that!”
“I was fixing my hair!”
“I was humping a dildo!”
They stared at each other for a moment.
“DOES ANYONE HERE FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE?!” Pinkie shouted.
Twilight was a bit comatose at this point, but Lyra grabbed Twilight’s wrist and forcibly thrust Twilight’s hand in the air.
“AHH!” shrieked Pinkie. “Gimme a shirt! Who has a spare shirt?! Or a bra, at least.”
She jumped behind the curtain as Rarity attempted to hide her own plunging neckline with one hand. “A thousand apologies, darlings. There is a separate room for those who are not yet comfortable with sexual matters being discussed so openly. If anyone is uncomfortable, please make your way to the door and I will show you to the correct room.”
Lyra guided Twilight out of her seat and down the stairs to the door, where Rarity waited anxiously. There were nine students in all who came to the door, and Twilight thought distantly that she hadn’t been quite so alone as she’d thought.
Lyra was still holding her hand. "Are you... coming with?" muttered Twilight.
"Yes."
"You don't have to."
Lyra scoffed. "I'm your friend, Twilight. You remember when you helped me in chemistry?"
"Yeah."
"This is like that. Just, ya know...backwards."
Rarity kept apologizing as she guided them down the hall. “I’m so sorry. Terribly sorry, really. It shouldn’t have happened this way. I feel dreadful…”
She knocked on a door. “Fluttershy? May we come in, dear? I’m afraid there’s been a mistake.”
The door opened, revealing a fully-clothed girl. “Oh no” she said softly, “what happened?”
“I’m afraid that your group was mixed up with ours.”
“Oh heavens! Oh you poor dears.”
Fluttershy welcomed them in, and Twilight found herself sitting next to Lyra in a small, comfortable room. She took a moment to breathe as she carefully looked around. There was no nudity here. No sexual references. Just a calm, quiet girl at the front, her friend to one side, and a gaggle of only-mildly-traumatized students surrounding her.
“I’m so, so sorry about that” said Fluttershy. “No one should be pushed into things when they’re not ready yet. That’s why we have separate groups.”
Twilight muttered incoherently.
“What was that, dear? I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you.”
“I uh…I’m not sure I can handle....uh...”
"That was really weird!" said a girl suddenly from the back, and nervous laughter echoed around the room. Fluttershy smiled.
"It was weird, wasn't it?" said Fluttershy. "Let's take a moment to talk about that. Did you see Pinkie Pie?"
"Oh yeah!" said an awkward boy to the right. "Maybe a bit too much? I mean I know that's normal around here, but it was a little"
"Mortifying?!"
"Oh, that wasn't right. Of course she means well. She's a very excitable girl. May I ask, how many of you are from small towns in the countryside?"
Twilight, Lyra and a few others raised their hands.
"It's typical for small towns to have a more reserved attitude towards sexual matters. And that's ok. There's nothing wrong with having the feelings you have."
“But I don't want to feel like this!" blurted Twilight. "I mean I...is it ok if I share a little?"
"That's alright with me. Is that alright with everyone else?"
The other students nodded. "Alright, " said Fluttershy, "but make sure to raise your hand if you feel uncomfortable."
Twilight sighed. "Normally...I'm on top of things. I mean not on top like, you know, I mean-"
"You're organized." said Fluttershy.
"Yes! Exactly! I know what to do. There's instructions and lists and things but when I...when I uh..."
"Reached puberty?"
"Yes. That. I just...I didn't know what to do with...feelings. And I'm eighteen now and I still don't know and I'm kindof worried that I'll never figure it out. And...I'm scared."
The room was quiet for a moment.
"Me too" said someone in the back.
"Me too" said another voice. A small chorus of "Me too"s followed. Lyra smiled at Twilight as if to say "See? You're not as weird as you thought."
Fluttershy looked around at all of them, peacefully. “You know, when I first came here, I was a virgin too.”
“You were?” said Twilight.
Fluttershy nodded. “And I was very shy. I even thought about dropping out.”
“Why did you stay?”
“I wanted to face my fears. And I did. It just takes a little time to get used to. Some time, some kindness and some friends."
"How much time does it take?"
"It depends. But the college makes it as easy as possible. Everyone here is very supportive, and very respectful of boundaries. If anyone makes you uncomfortable, come see me or one of the teachers, and we'll deal with it immediately."
"And...you think I'll be ok?"
Fluttershy leaned forward and smiled. "I think you'll do just fine."
Twilight nodded. She looked at Lyra and took a deep breath.
Ok…ok…
I can do this.
Author's Note
Welcome to my "Canterlot U" AU! This was going to be a one-shot like It's Not a Race, but I've decided to keep the story rolling as Twilight slowly adjusts to the sex-positive world she finds herself in. No idea exactly where the story will go next, but that's the fun of it!
I had an extremely hard time adjusting to the concept of sex IRL, and I want to write a story that explores some of those feelings. I also want to figure out what a truly Sex-Positive culture would look like. Hopefully we can see some of these changes in the real world!
P.S. I don't know why the towns are still called "Ponyville" and "Canterlot" in a world of humans, but "Humanville" and "Runningtown" would have sounded ridiculous 😝
P.P.S. The bit where Lyra says "It turns out you're not Ace" isn't meant as a criticism of people who are actually Ace. The idea is that Twilight felt so awkward about sex that she tried to convince herself she didn't have any sexual feelings at all (while knowing in her heart all along that it wasn't true). This is distinct from people who are actually asexual.
