Broken Arrow

by Army Brony

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Original Character, Spike, Comedy, Tragedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia
Length: 10771

An Army soldier finds himself in Equestria after an intense battle.

The year is 2025. The worlds pursuit of fighting wars with unmanned "droids" has become its downfall. For Iran captured a nuke-bearing drone and used it against Israel. SSG Ackerman is a tank mechanic who is attached to the U.S. Army's most elite unit- 1st Special Forces Operational Detachment-Delta, or Delta Force.
Before the war, SSG Ackerman was an avid brony. He even kept a unit patch of the cutie mark of his idol, Rainbow Dash. After sacrificing himself to bring the war closer to an end, he finds himself in Equestria, turned pony.
Will he ever be able to come to terms with the atrocities he has committed? Will he be able to keep the show a secret from everypony? Is he really in Equestria? Or is it all a simulation brought about by the droids as a way of extracting information from him?

This is my first fic, so please feel free to give me as much constructive criticism as possible. This fic switches between first and third person, and uses ALOT of military terms. Ye have been warned...

Published 2012-09-23 04:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-09 08:10:19 UTC

Prologue: Broken Arrow

I am an American Soldier.
I am a Warrior and a member of a team. I serve the people of the United States and live the Army Values.
I will always place the mission first.
I will never accept defeat.
I will never quit.
I will never leave a fallen comrade.
I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills. I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.
I am an expert and I am a professional.
I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.
I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.
I am an American Soldier.

My eyes opened to reveal a sight that few men have seen, and even fewer have survived.

“E.T.A. Five mikes” a voice keyed in over the net.

Maj. Clint looked over to me with stone cold eyes and nodded. I acknowledged the silent order, but hesitated to follow it through. Its not every day something like this happens. The hardest of delta force and seals would break down mentally and emotionally after following an order like this. And here I was, just a lowly tank mechanic, forced into this situation.

No, you've been training and fighting along side delta for 7 years now. Man the fuck up.

I keyed in the mic.

“Roger, this is a danger close run. Main forces north of green smoke.” I almost choked at 'main forces'. “Friendlies are mixed in with tangos.” I gulped.

I couldn't believe I was going to say it. The lump in my throat grew until it felt ready to burst out.

“Broken Arrow. Repeat... Broken Arrow.” the last part felt as if it was barely above a whisper.

“Roger. Copy broken arrow. Disregarding friendlies.” the voice replied nonchalantly.

I wanted to scream into the mic to call off the run.

“E.T.A. Two mikes.”

I wanted so desperately to tell every one of them what was coming, so that they may have a chance to escape.

“Thirty seconds.”

I looked beside me. I could make out two objects. As they neared their target, their silhouettes became clear. A-10 Warthog gunships. On any given day, the mere sight of these beauties would draw cheers from troops on the ground. But not today. Even though the majority of the soldiers a few hundred meters in front of us were too preoccupied with combating the enemy, the few who saw they're fates speeding towards them in the form of 12000 30mm rounds per minute and two 2000 lb JDAMs could only stand there and watch in fear as they lived their last.

“Ten seconds.”

I felt the ground shake, saw the red-brown clouds popping up from the ground like geysers. And heard the explosions. And then came the screams. All over the net, screams of horror, pain and suffering from those who's microphones had been locked to broadcast from the onslaught of depleted uranium. Screams of those who would soon take their last breath. Screams of those who would never see their newborn child. Screams of those who would never see their loved ones again.
And I had given the order which caused all this suffering.

The lump in my throat had grown to such a size that I was amazed I hadn't broken down yet. That all changed as the second warthog came in.

It proceeded to drop two 2000 lb JDAMs right on target.

“Run complete.”

I keyed my mic in acknowledgment.

A single tear began to build up in my left eye, then my right. Before long, I had streams of tears running down my cheeks.

“I'm sorry.” was all I could manage before I completely broke down into an emotional wreck.

I couldn't take it anymore, this war, the friends I've been forced to witness die in the worst ways imaginable. That order I had to give.

That fucking order, I thought

I stood up.

My CO looked at me.

“ACKERMAN! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING??!”

I turned to my CO.

“Putting an end to this.”

I ran towards the constant hail of fire that had not let up for the 6 hours we had been there.

“ACKERMAN! GET BACK HERE!”

I ignored him, and pressed on. Raising my weapon I started to find targets. I fired, and fired, and fired again. Each bullet found its target, disabling them before they hit the ground. I felt pain in my leg, then my chest, my shoulder, my arm, and so on. I looked down.

I had been shot.

I am getting shot, I corrected myself.

As if to humor my thought, I saw a spurt of blood and felt a shock of pain in my right thigh.

I have to keep going, can't stop...

I kept running, with one objective in mind: hit that button.

“FUCK YOU TINNIES!!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs as I increased my fire by whipping out my sidearm.

There it is. Just a few more meters...

The button, big and red to an almost comical degree, started to overtake my vision. Nothing else mattered. Not my life, not my family, not even the fact that there were well over 9000 droids hot on my trail.

Almost...

I reached out my hand.

Almost...

I could feel the edge of the button now.

“GOT IT!” I exclaimed to nobody in particular as I hit the emergency shut down button with an unnecessary amount of force.

I fell on my back, just now starting to realize how much blood-loss I had endured. I was soaked from neck to toe in the semi-warm red substance.

I looked up to see thousands of droids falling in place. I then turned my attention to my left chest pocket.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small plastic zip-lock bag. I opened it up and emptied it of its contents. A picture of my family, a pack of smokes, a zippo, and my phone. I chuckled at the last item. To anyone who wasn't well educated on a specific fan base, it would look like nothing more than a unit patch with a cartoon cloud and a rainbow lightning strike on it. I had gotten so much shit for wearing it once as a kind of joke.

I wonder if the show is still on? I asked myself as I lit up a smoke, savoring every last hit.
My breaths started to get shorter. The air had started to become almost painful to breath. After about ten more seconds, I decided to let go.

Then, something happened.

My wounds stopped bleeding. I felt this warm aura about me, and could see this violet colored light surrounding me.

I must be going to heaven.

I then felt indescribable pain as the now purple light grew brighter and started to spark.

Never mind, I'm definitely going to hell. I concluded as I painfully remembered the events that took place not even half an hour ago.

The light became blinding just before I blacked out.

Where am I?

I opened my eyes. I gathered my surroundings.

Why am I in a library? And in a bed?

I sat up and looked down. My gear was sitting on a bedside table and, even though I felt no pain, something felt... off. I decided to brush it off as nothing and stood up. Rather, the lack there of. I promptly fell flat on my face.

“Fuck!” I cursed the offending floor as I got to my hoofs.

Wait, hoofs? What the fuck?

Almost instantly I went into panic mode. I ran around desperately trying to find a mirror. I ran into what appeared to be a bathroom for a midget.

“What the fuck...” I said to no one in particular as I took in the scene before me. Standing there in the mirror was an ACU pattern pony with blue eyes, a half black, half red mane and what looked like a torn ear and a... horn?

You've GOT to be kidding me...

The War

I heard what sounded like footsteps on the floor below me, and I went to see who they belonged to. What happened next I can only explain to a degree, for it was hard for me to comprehend myself. I continued downstairs and saw a floating book go speeding by. I followed it into what appeared to be the main part of the library. I peered around the corner, and could not believe my eyes. There in the center of the room was Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash. I just about exploded in elation. I then remembered something.

The droids could have captured you, and this could very well be a simulation they're using as a way to coax me into letting my guard down. That or I'm in the hospital and the drugs they gave me were a bit too strong. Or- wait, no. That's fucking ridiculous. Me, in Equestria. What a joke. I thought.

I concluded that whatever the case be, even if the case be that I am actually in Equestria, however unlikely, that I should keep my guard up. It took a whole lot of will not to go over and meet my idol, but I started to sneak my way over towards the front door.

“EEEEEP!” a startled voice exclaimed behind me.

“HEY, YOU!” the voice of my idol exclaimed.

“Wait!” the voice of Twilight said, likely holding back a very aggressive Rainbow Dash.

“You're awake.” Twilight said.

I faced about.

“My name is-”

“Twilight Sparkle” I interrupted.

“How did you know that?”

Shit.

“I-I...err... lucky guess.” I quickly said.

“Okaay... well you obviously know my name.” said Twilight “The Pegasus to my left is Rainbow Dash. What's your name?”

If I am in a simulation, they would've already accessed my mind, thus already gaining general knowledge such as my liking for the show, my name, the names of family, friends, etc. I thought to myself.

“Ssg Ackerman, attached to 1st Special Forces Operational Detachment-Delta, United States Army.”

“Special forces. Sounds cool. What is it?” my idol asked, clearly intrigued.

“It's a kind of unit in the Army” I replied.

“Huh?” Rainbow Dash said in a slightly confused tone.

“Um...” I searched for the right way to word this “I am a soldier. And the United States is the country I hail from.” I replied, hoping not to confuse her anymore.

“United States? I've never heard of that country.” Twilight interjected.

“It is on the planet known as Earth.”

“OH! There, yes! I've been researching you humans for some time now. Your race is quite... interesting.” said an eager Twilight.

That would be one way of putting it...

“ahem...”

“What was that?” I asked, looking around, trying to find the source of the sound.

I turned my attention to the only pony in the room who hadn't said a word the entire time I had been standing there.

“Flutt- err... and... um... whats your name?” I said cautiously, as to not reveal my knowledge of the show... yet.

If this isn't a simulation, and it's somehow all real, I can't have them knowing that they are from a T.V. show back on earth. Besides, they would probably just think I'm crazy.

I'll tell you, I sure was glad that I had been attached to Delta. If it weren't for the required training that one must complete prior to going to combat with them, I would likely have given the droids all the info they needed from me, and I would be well on my way to being disposed of.

Better dead than in some simulation. I thought solemnly to myself.

Before shit really hit the fan, Delta had been preparing their soldiers for this. Hooking them up to computers that would send electrical charges into the brains of sleeping soldiers- thus creating a simulation out of their dreams, not unlike the one I was in.

I haven't found any proof to back up the simulation theory. I reminded myself.

These simulations would act as a kind of virus, opening up the mind to being, put simply, hacked. Not only did the training act as a means of setting up our own mental firewalls, but it taught us to be able to think through said firewalls; essentially granting our thoughts a sort of shield from prying ears, or in this case, audio receptors. This technique allowed us to plan ahead without the knowledge of our captors, and eventually, escape our mental prison.

Then again, I haven't found any proof against said theory. I better keep my guard up, just to be safe.

“Well? What's your name?”

Fluttershy pulled the classic 'hide her blush behind her mane' thing.

So adorable. I just wanna hug her right now.

“Don't worry, I don't bite” I said with the kindest of smiles I could muster.

“Fluttershy...”

“I'm sorry, what was that?”

“my name is Fluttershy...”

I heard an annoyed Twilight groan behind me.

“Her name is Fluttershy.”

“Oh. Nice to meet you, Fluttershy.” I said as I stuck out a hoof to shake.

“EEP!” She said as she dove under a desk in the corner of the room.

Just my fucking luck, here I am, in Equestria, for Pete-sakes! And I scare off one of the most adorable characters... fuck my life.

“I'm sorry, she's just a bit-”

“Shy?” I interrupted.

“Yes, how did you-”

“The name kinda says it all, don't ya think?” I interrupted a second time.

“Heh, I guess it kinda does, doesn't it?” Twilight chuckled.

“Yeah...” I trailed off ever so slightly.

Twilight seemed to take notice of this.

“What's wrong?”

“Hmm? Oh, nothing...”

“Something is bothering you, I can tell.” she said.

“Oh... am I really that easy to read?”

“Kinda.”

Note to self, make more of an effort to show hide emotions.

“Its just this whole situation I guess.”

“What situation?”

They definitely know about the events that took place of late, so no harm in telling them.

“Before I was... however the fuck I got here, I was fighting these things called droids.”

"Droids?" Twilight asked.

Oh, yeah. Different universe. Duh.

"Droids are..." I tried to put it into words they could understand. "They're like robots."

"Robots?"

This is gonna be a bit harder than I thought.

"Autonomous machines that look like humans. Only we control what they do."

"Oh... okay." Twilight nodded in acknowledgment for me to continue.

“These droids... well... we humans created them to help make our day-to-day lives easier. We also created them to fight our wars.”

“The thought was that if machines fought our wars, there would be no actual lives lost. Or so we thought...”

“We soon learned of our mistake. An enemy country, Iran, hacked one of our nuclear warhead-bearing drones. Before long, Iran took their hijacked drone over the Red Sea, towards Israel.”

“They dropped the bomb the second the drone came within range of a major population center.”

“Was there no way to stop it?” Twilight interjected.

“No. All any of us could do was sit there and watch in horror as pictures and satellite videos of the carnage started appearing on the news.”

“Did Israel fight back?” Twilight asked.

“Yes. But they are a small country, whereas Iran is nearly 5 times their size. They fought back with all they had-”

“But it wasn't enough...” a saddened Rainbow Dash chimed in.

“No. It wasn't...”

“But that was just the beginning. After Iran took Israel, Iranian scientists started reverse-engineering Israeli droids...”

“Iran then started to attack any and all that wouldn't join them. For the majority of the Middle-Eastern countries, the firepower that Iran had gained from the droids they reverse-engineered proved to be too much. Not long after Iran's first assault, Russia started sending even more powerful weaponry their way. That's where I came in.”

“I got deployed to South Korea, Iran's next target. Everyone thought that Korea was where we were gonna put a stop to their blitzkrieg. We were wrong. So, so wrong.”

“Their attack force was immense, not just in numbers, but efficiency. So many lost their lives.”

The lump in my throat started to return. I quickly swallowed it.

“I was one of the survivors. I had lost my entire platoon to the Human-Droid onslaught. I had escaped with the hair on my neck.”

The lump started to return.

“I linked up with an elite spec ops team, known as Delta Force. They are the best of the best. And they have the best training and equipment to boot.”

“They sound kinda like the Wonderbolts.” Rainbow Dash chimed in.

“The Wonderbolts?” I played dumb.

“Only the best flying team in all of Equestria!”

Twilight looked at Rainbow Dash with chastising eyes.

“Oh, heh, sorry...”

“Continue.” said Twilight.

“Yes. Anyway, these guys are the best. They taught me as many tricks of the trade as they could in such a short amount of time.”

“Tricks of the trade?” Twilight said.

“Do you want the honest truth, or the not-so-honest?”

“Honest.”

“Ways to take lives more quickly, quietly, and efficiently than anyone else on earth.”

“Oh...” Twilight said with a slight tinge of fear in her voice.

“Don't worry, they taught me to control these talents, so that they may be used only when needed.”

“Okay...” I could still detect the slightest amount of unease in her voice.

“Anyway, we went back to the states, and proceeded to train in preparation for the coming attack. Problem was, it never came.”

“What?” Twilight and Rainbow Dash asked at the same time.

“That's right. We waited and prepared for an assault that never came. What did come was something that was a complete surprise to everyone. Droids.”

“Droids?”

“Yes, droids. No faction controlling them. No country giving orders, just droids.”
“Wow.” replied a dumbstruck Twilight.

“Yeah. The war that ensued lasted a total of 5 years. Many lives were lost. Good men and women. Most of which had families...”

The lump in my throat grew.

“Before I arrived here, I was fighting in a desperate final assault on the droid control room. All we needed to do was hit a button and 85 percent of the droid army would be instantaneously wiped out. Heh. A single button to solve all our problems.” Thoughts of the Staples easy-button started to come to mind. “Just one issue.”

“What was that?”

“The 85 percent that I mentioned were there waiting for us.”

Twilight and Rainbow just sat there in silence. I continued.

“The battle was going terribly. We were horribly out-numbered and out-gunned, but we pressed on.”

“Then came the possibility of a turning point. But-” I choked on the last part as the lump in my throat ached for relief.

“But what?” asked Rainbow Dash.

I cleared my throat. “But as with all great victories, come great sacrifices.”

At this point, I started to tear up.

“I was told to give an order for an airstrike. Danger close, broken arrow...” I shuddered at the last part.

“Broken arrow?” asked Twilight.

“It means that friendlies are mixed in with the enemy to such a degree in which giving them time to fall back to a safe distance would only make things worse.”

“You mean-”

“Yes. The pilots then disregard all friendlies in the target vicinity. As far as the pilots are concerned, when broken arrow is declared, all targets in the sector of fire are hostile.”

Tears started to run down my cheeks.

“I'm so sorry. If you want to stop you can.” Twilight said.

“No, I'm fine.” I said holding in a sob.

“I started to charge towards the control room. By the time I reached the button, I had been shot multiple times. I did it, though. I put a stop to it and gave the rest of humanity a fighting chance.”

Tears kept coming, now flowing freely down my cheeks and dripping on the wood floor below.

I can't let my idol see me like this.

“Excuse me.” I said as I left the room and ran upstairs.

Little did I know, I had dropped a plastic bag which contents' could very well change the way Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy viewed their entire universe.

Memories

I'm shuffling through my pockets, desperately trying to find something.

I've lost it, I kept thinking to myself.

I reach into my left cargo pocket on my ACU trousers, and pull out a familiar object. A small plastic zip lock bag.

“There you are,” I say to myself.
I promptly moved the bag to my left breast pocket just as the plane comes to a screeching halt on the runway. Not a moment after I exit the plane I am greeted by an officer.

“Sergeant Ackerman, Second Lieutenant Redford, Second Infantry Division.”

“Second to None sir!” I boldly exclaim the 2ID motto as I salute him.

“Fight Tonight sergeant!” he says as he returns the salute.

“Welcome to Korea Sergeant,” he extends his hand.

“Thank you sir.” I shake his hand.

“I assume you have been briefed on the situation sergeant?”

“Yes I have sir.”

“Good. You will be assigned to 2-9 Infantry, Manchus. They are the first line of defense, so needless to say you will be seeing some action.” He said it as if it was a warning, like I wasn't used to combat.

“Sir, with all due respect, I've seen more than my fair share of combat in Afghanistan. I can more than handle myself.” I said, not realizing just how wrong I was.

The scene starts to change, like someone hit the fast-forward button.

I'm taking cover behind a downed HWMMV. The sound of gunfire and explosions bombard my eardrums. I look to my right, at the radioman. PFC Jenkins was his name. Never knew when to shut up, but a damn good soldier none-the-less.

“JENKINS! RADIO IN FOR CLOSE AIR SUPPORT PRONTO!”

“ROGER SERGEANT!” he keyed in the mic “HUNTER TWO-FOUR, THIS IS DEMON SIX-NINER! REQUESTING ONE-ZERO-FIFE HEAT ON LAZED TARGET, DANGER CLOSE!”

I popped up and took a few more pot-shots at the enemy. I heard the response from the AC-130 gunship above me over the net.

“Roger that. One-zero-fife HEAT, danger close. Awaiting laser designation.”

“LAZE THE TARGET!” I screamed to my squad taking cover behind a downed Abrams.

I popped up and started to provide cover fire for the SOFLAM operator.

“Target acquired, firing.”

The three T-90's then erupted in a multitude of fiery explosions. The rain of high explosives ceased, and the smoke cloud started to dissipate.

“Tangos neutralized, have a nice day six-niner,” the AC-130 radio operator said.

The scene changes again, only this time it was like someone just hit skip.

I'm on my knees, tears in my eyes and streaming down my face. I look at the gruesome sight before me. All around me are bodies, the bodies of my friends, my buddies, my brothers, my soldiers.

I look down. I am holding up the head of my dying friend, PFC Jenkins. He's been shot in the chest and stomach so many times that I lost count. I had carried him for a mile and a half to the exfil sight. The choppers were in sight, not even 50 meters in front of us, but something was wrong. There weren't any pilots to greet us, no rangers providing security, and nobody from my squad to help us on board.

There were bodies. Bodies of the pilots, bodies of the rangers, and bodies of my squad. I looked on in horror as I came to a grim realization.

It's a trap.

Not a moment after the thought crossed my mind did I stand in shock as the two Chinooks were engulfed in flames right in front of us.

“No...” was all I could manage.

I dropped to my knees, too weak to stand.

“We aren't gonna make it, are we?” Jenkins asked.

“I'm afraid not kid...”

I then proceeded to do something I had not done in a very long time. Something I thought I would never do again.

I cried.

It started out slow, a sob here and there, and grew into a full-on fit of tears.

As Jenkins lay before me taking his last breath, he said something that would've made me fall flat on my face were it not for me being an emotional wreck.

“I'm sorry.”

“Wha- what for?” I asked between sobs.

“I wouldn't have gotten shot if I had stayed in cover like you told me to. And for that I'm sorry.”
His body went limp just as he finished. I was speechless. Why was he sorry? If he hadn't jumped out of cover to grab PVT Collins, he would be dead.

He IS dead. I reminded myself.

I heard footsteps behind me, and I faced about to meet them, M4 at the ready.

“WOAH! BLUE ON BLUE! FRIENDLY!” the man exclaimed.

“Who the fuck are you, and what the fuck do you want?” I spat, still holding my weapon at the ready.

“Major Clint, 1st Special Forces Operational Detachment-Delta. You can address me by my call-sign, Blaze.”

My mind flashed to an image of the Wonderbolts for a split second. I quickly got back to the situation at hand.

“What do you want?” I asked, lowering my M4.

“The same thing you do.”

“And what is that?”

“You wanna get off this God forsaken peninsula. And me and what's left of my squad have a plan to do so. Unless you wanna stay and end up like them.” he pointed to the bodies littering the tarmac.

I just about had it with this asshole. I raised my M4 to muzzle-thump him. The events which followed happened in a matter of seconds. As I pulled back to strike, I heard the magazine of my M4 hit the ground. I thrust forward, only to find myself empty-handed.

“I wouldn't try that if I were you.” a voice behind me stated, cold and callus as death itself.

“Cool it, Frost.” Blaze said.

I looked behind me, and I almost instantly found out why he called this guy Frost. His eyes looked like they could scare the shit out of Lucifer himself. His skin was pale, almost to the point of being albino. Quite frankly, he looked like death.

“Like what you see, pretty boy?” he said, colder than before.

I shuddered.

“Frost!” Blaze said in a harsh but collected tone.

Frost backed off, glaring icy daggers at me.

“Back to business. I have an open spot after my weapons sergeant got killed in the first assault. I would be more than happy for you to fill said spot.”

“I'm just a tank mechanic. I don’t know the first thing about being infantry, much less Delta...”

“Look, I saw you, the way you fought, the way you ran a mile and a half carrying the dead weight of your friend there without stopping. You've got it in you, and I can help you bring it out. I can provide you with not only a means to get off this rock, but a way of avenging your squad.”

“How can I trust you?”

“You can't. But what have you got to lose?”

I contemplated this for a second.

“A means of escape and a way of avenging my soldiers?”

Blaze nodded.

“Count me in.”

“Welcome to Delta Force.” Blaze concluded with a cocky smirk.

My life is put on fast-forward again.

I am in a boxing ring. Standing in front of me is Rapidfire, the squads' expert on close combat and knife fighting.

“Alright, here are the rules,” Blaze started “rule one, there are no rules. Now go to your corners, come out fighting, and finish bloody as fuck!” he concluded as he struck the bell.

I turned around just in time to see the fist flying at my face. I promptly blocked it, countering with a punch of my own. Strike after strike, block after block. Neither of us were getting any decent hits on the other. Blaze was determined to change that.
He tossed in two knives. Not plastic, not wood. Sharp, semi-serrated, 8-inch metal knives.

I scrambled for the nearest one. Rapidfire beat me to both. He came at me with a knife in each hand, and I struggled to dodge and block each strike. He repeatedly sliced my forearms until my ACU sleeves were a dark shade of red. I stumbled, dazed from both the lightning speed of his flurry, and the amount of blood I was losing. He then slashed at my heart.
I narrowly escaped the blade but soon fell to my knees. I felt the cold steel of the blade being pushed up against my jugular.

“Check and mate. Rapidfire wins.” Blaze stated as he entered the ring.

“What have we here?”

I looked to see what Blaze was walking towards.

It was my plastic bag. It must have fallen out when Rapidfire slashed at my heart. Blaze bent down to pick it up. He opened it and emptied it of its contents.

“Is this you're family?” he asked, holding the picture up.

“Yes. Yes it is.”

“Hmm. Do you miss them?”

“Sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“Okay, fine. I miss them with all my heart and I can't wait to get back to see them. Now can I have my bag back?”

“Not so fast.”

Blaze held up the patch of a cloud with a rainbow bolt coming out from the bottom. Rapidfire looked at the cutie mark patch, then to me.

He was smiling. I had never seen him smile outside of combat, so it kind of frightened me that he was smiling at me.

Great. He's gonna kill me. I thought fearfully to myself.

Blaze snapped me out of it.

“Huh. Looks like you two have a lot more in common than just your abilities in the ring.” Blaze stated “Wouldn't you agree, Rapid?”

Wait a sec. Did blaze just imply-

“I guess so.” Rapidfire replied “I'm still about twenty percent cooler than him, though.”

No. Fucking. WAY!

Rapidfire strolled up to me with an awkward smirk on his face. He stuck a fist out. For a second I thought he was going to hit me.

“Brohoof.”

I smile and raise my fist to meet his own...

“Ackerman”

“What was that?” I asked.

“What was what?” Blaze said.

“Ackerman!”

“THAT!”

“WHAT?!”

“ACKERMAN!!!!!”

My whole world starts to spin. The color and light start to blend together, spinning down into what could only be described as an invisible drain, darkness is left in its wake.

Wake. Wake. Awake. I need to wake up. I need to be awake.

I start to open my eyes.

Royal Pains

Canterlot Castle

Princess Luna was growing tired of Celestia's tricks and pranks. Not only was Luna falling for Celestia's most simplistic pranks, but even Luna's most intricate pranks were foiled by Celestia. It seemed that the sun goddess was completely invulnerable to falling victim to every kind of prank Luna had at her disposal. There was one prank that Luna hadn't tried yet.

Luna was the only pony to know of Celestia's fear of humans. Not even her star pupil, Twilight Sparkle, knew of this phobia. But Luna was a princess, and even though she had thrown her fair share of pranks towards the sun goddess, she was above such nonsense. Celestia hadn't used any of Luna's fears against her, so Luna would give her the same respect. Exploiting another pony's fears for her own enjoyment was wrong.

Tis something Nightmare Moon would've done, and we don't want to be banished to the moon again. Luna thought to herself as she shuddered at vivid images of bananas in bags and space cannons.

“Then again, she did use our horn as jelly-filled doughnut target practice whilst we were asleep.” Luna declared to herself.

Luna shook her head. “No. We shall keep our promise.”

What promise? The promise you made to yourself when you thought you were rid of me? The voice of Nightmare Moon echoed in Luna's head.

Thou shalt stay silent, devil-spawn. Luna spat back at the voice in her head.

When the elements of harmony were used to defeat Nightmare Moon, a small portion stayed alive and well within Luna's subconscious. Nightmare Moon was a part of Luna, even before she started to grow jealous of her sister's star. As such, Nightmare Moon could not be killed completely; for doing so would kill Luna as well.

Although, sister might congratulate us on a prank-well-done if we were to succeed.

“It is decided then!” Luna declared, absentmindedly using the royal Canterlot voice.

“What's decided Luna?” Princess Celestia asked as she walked through the door, curious as to why her sister would be using the voice at such an early hour.

“THIS!” Luna exclaimed as her horn started to glow a vibrant purple. The walls of her private quarters started to creak as the castle shook from the raw power of her magic. As Luna completed the spell, a loud boom was heard, louder than a sonic rainboom. Then all was quiet.

Nothing else happened.

“Oh, a decent sound spell dear sister.”

WHAT?!? A SOUND SPELL?!! WHERE IS THE HUMAN I SUMMONED?!

“Let me show you one I've been working on,” Celestia stated, a devious grin overtaking her face.

Oh no...

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile in Ponyville...

“What the hay was that?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed as she brushed herself off, cursing the source of the sound that made her fall.

Rainbow Dash had been practicing her newest routine to try out for the Wonderbolts when the now second loudest noise she had ever heard rang out. She was flying at top speed, about to achieve a sonic rainboom for the grand finale of her try-out routine, when she heard a loud boom.

That's weird, it sounds like I just achieved a sonic rainboom, but it sure as hay doesn't feel like it...

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!

The noise was so loud that the resulting shock wave had knocked the pegasus right out of the sky, landing her next to the entrance of the Everfree Forest.

“What the hay was that?!”

Rainbow Dash got to her hooves and looked around, trying to pinpoint where the sound had come from.

“Ugh...”

Rainbow Dash whipped around to find the source of this new sound. This wasn't the sound of somepony moaning about the headache the sudden bombardment of noise had caused. No, this was the sound of somepony hurt. Somepony dying.

“Hello? Who's there?” Rainbow Dash called out. There was no answer.

Just as she was about to blow it off as her just hearing things, whatever it was moaned again.

Rainbow Dash's head was clear now; and with the ringing in her ears gone, she was able to pinpoint the sound with ease. Nopony could have prepared her for what she saw. For in the clearing just past the entrance to the Everfree lay a unicorn bleeding from so many holes in his body that Rainbow Dash couldn't have counted them all. She immediately dashed over to the unicorn. He was wearing a strange vest full of pouches that contained metal rectangles, spheres, and canisters that had M18 SMOKE painted on them. He also had a weird tool that had one of the metal rectangles attached to the bottom.

“Ungh...” the bloodied unicorn moaned in pain again.

He's gonna die if I don't do something quick, Rainbow Dash thought to herself.

She picked him up and flew faster than she ever flew before towards the only unicorn in Ponyville that could heal these kind of wounds.

That egghead better be there.

Ponyville Library

“EEP!” Fluttershy exclaimed as she dove into spikes bed, a torrent of books falling all around her.

Fluttershy had come over to Twilight's place in search for a book about common ailments in reptilian creatures. Twilight had just enveloped the book in a familiar violet aura when-

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!

The noise not only startled Twilight, but caused her to lose focus on the simplest of levitation spells. Backfiring, the spell caused a ludicrous amount of shelved books to fall, whereas the shock wave the sound had caused brought the rest of them to the ground.

“T-T-T-Twilight? D-Did you do that?” Fluttershy asked, trembling at the sight of fallen books before her.

“No Fluttershy, I did not.” she walked cautiously towards the window “But it sure wasn't caused by nothing.” she concluded as she stared outside, hoping to find the source of this mysterious sound.

“It sounded like an explosion, but-” Twilight trailed off.

“B-B-But what?” Fluttershy asked.

Twilight didn't hear her. She was too preoccupied with a small cyan object slowly growing larger in the distance.

Rainbow Dash, she thought. It must have been one of her sonic rainbooms. But where's the rainboom? And the trail?

Twilight snapped out of it just in time to a realization. Rainbow Dash was carrying sompony. And that somepony was limp, almost as if said pony was-

Dead... Twilight thought grimly.

Not only that, but Rainbow Dash was heading right towards the library, right towards her.

“INCOMING!!!” Dash screamed. Twilight heard this.

“Fluttershy! Take COVER!” Twilight yelled behind her as she herself dove out of the way of the open window.

Rainbow Dash came barreling through the window, but surprisingly enough she stopped herself before causing more damage to the already wrecked library. Twilight looked up to see Rainbow Dash. She was holding something.

Someone, Twilight corrected herself.

The unicorn was covered in blood, and so was the cyan pegasus. The unicorn looked like it had been attacked by a hole-punch.

“Please help him.” Dash said, tears streaming down her face.

Twilight snapped into action, immediately casting a spell to slow the bleeding. She then levitated every book in the room and, scanning them, brought a plethora of healing books to her. She quickly scanned the contents of the books, using healing spells that worked at stopping blood-loss and mending stab wounds. As she started to concentrate on one of the wounds, she sensed a metal object no larger than a peanut still embedded inside the victim.

What in the hay is that? Twilight asked herself, quickly realizing that there wasn't just one metal object in the victim, but dozens.

Memorizing the page number of the healing spell, she flipped through the book to find a spell to remove foreign objects from the body. With haste, she cast the spell. She could hear the clacking of the objects as they hit the ground- all twenty-seven of them. She flipped back to the page she memorized and began focusing on one wound at a time, healing them with post-haste and precision.

Just one more left and... DONE! Twilight exclaimed to herself.

She was quite impressed with her work as she collapsed onto her flank with a big sigh. She had saved a pony's life today, for laying in front of her was a battered but breathing unicorn whom not moments ago was on the brink of death. Twilight looked up to face a very upset Rainbow Dash.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Dash asked.

“Yes, I believe so. He needs to rest though, for he's lost a lot of blood.” Twilight concluded.

“Good.”

Both parties were silent for what seemed like an eternity. Surprisingly enough, it was neither Twilight nor Dash who broke said silence.

“What happened?” Fluttershy asked as she walked up to the beaten unicorn, looking down upon him with sad eyes.

“I was flying around over by the entrance to the Everfree Forest, practicing my latest routine when I heard a noise.”

“Did it sound like an explosion?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah! Did you guys here it too?”

Both Twilight and Fluttershy nodded.

“Then what happened? After the noise?” Fluttershy asked.

“Well, I fell- I mean landed next to the entrance to the Everfree.”

“Then what?” Twilight asked, oblivious to Dash's sudden correction.

“Then I heard somepony moaning. I turned around to face the Everfree, and in the clearing I spotted this guy.” she motioned to the unconscious unicorn in front of her.

“He was hurt bad, and as much as Fluttershy knows about medical stuff, she wouldn't have been able to heal him fast enough. No offense, Fluttershy.”

“None taken.”

The room fell silent again. This time it was Twilight who spoke first.

“What is he wearing? And what is that object he has slung around him?”

“They were on him when I found him,” Dash said. “I couldn't just leave his possessions to get dragged away by wild animals in the Everfree Forest.” The element of loyalty stated, holding true to said element.

Twilight had the strangest feeling. Like the unicorn in front of her didn't belong.

“I don't think he's from here.” Twilight spoke.

“What do ya mean Twi? Like Ponyville? I've never seen him around here before, that's for sure.” Dash said.

“No, I mean here.” Twilight motioned all around her.

“You mean Equestria?” Fluttershy asked.

“No. I have the strangest feeling that-” Twilight trailed off.

“That what?” Dash asked.

“Never mind. It's silly.”

“Twi, you have to trust us. We're your friends, remember?” Dash said.

“It's just that-” Twilight struggled to find the correct way to word it. “He seems like he doesn't belong. Like he's not just a stranger to Ponyville or Equestria, but a stranger to this whole world.”

With that, Dash's mouth dropped wide open.

“But he's a pony. How could he be an alien?” Dash asked.

“Trust me, I have a feeling. When he wakes up we will ask him where he hails from, but for now we need to let him rest.” Twilight declared.

“Can me and Fluttershy stay the night so we can catch him when he wakes up?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“I don't see why not. As long as Fluttershy is okay with it.”

“I have no problem with it at all,” Fluttershy stated. “I just need to go feed my animals for the night, and I'll be right back.”

“Great! Before you go Fluttershy, I need you and Dash to help me bring him upstairs to the guest room. He obviously has had a very hard day and needs his rest. Just because he might be an alien, doesn't mean we should treat him any differently than everypony else.”

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash nodded in acknowledgment.

Normally Twilight would have no problem levitating him up the stairs by herself, but the spells she had used to heal the unicorn had taken their toll on the librarian. That being so, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Twilight picked the unicorn up and proceeded to carry him up to the guest room. Laying him on the bed, Twilight used her magic to cover him up. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy proceeded to exit the room, but Twilight stayed.

I just know he's a stranger to this world. Oh well, I guess we'll find out in the morning, Twilight thought to herself as she turned to walk out the door, oblivious to a small unit patch that lay in the unicorn's pocket.

A unit patch which showed that he was more familiar to this world than Twilight could ever imagine...

Waking Up

“ACKERMAN!!!!!”

My whole world starts to spin. The color and light start to blend together, spinning down into what could only be described as an invisible drain, darkness left in its wake.

Wake. Wake. Awake. I need to wake up. I need to be awake.

I start to open my eyes.

Ugh, what happened? I feel like hammered shit...

I opened my eyes to see a purple blur in front of me. The blurred colors that filled my vision were painfully bright.

I haven't felt this shitty since my twenty-first, I thought.

“He's awake,” a female voice stated. “Quick, somepony bring me a cover!”

Wait, did she just say- oh no.

My vision started to clear up. The purple blob started to become more defined.

“Are you okay?” Twilight asked me.

“Yeah, I think so,” I answered. “What happened?”

“You started to run upstairs and just when you were about to reach the top, you passed out.”

“Oh.”

It must have been a result of blood-loss, I thought.

“That's not all,” Twilight spoke again. “We came rushing up here, and you were writhing and squirming about.”

“I was?”

She nodded.

“You must have been having a terrible nightmare, because after about two minutes you started yelling about how they're all dead.”

I didn't speak. Twilight took this as a sign to continue.

“Just before I yelled at you to wake up you said- er- well- um...” Twilight trailed off.

“What? What did I say?”

“Well- um-” Twilight was obviously reluctant to tell me what I said. Rainbow Dash interrupted, finishing for her.

“You were talking about three dudes, Blaze, Frost, and Rapidfire.” Rainbow Dash put more than enough emphasis on the last name.

“Yeah? So what?” I stated a little too defensively.

Rainbow Dash took notice of this.

“I thought it might be just a little coincidence that two outta the three names you mentioned are Wonderbolts, but then you said 'Rapidfire wants to give me a brohoof,'” She did the best impersonation of my voice as she could.

“That- um- that's a very common term back on earth,” I lied. “people use it all the time”

“Really? Is that so?” Dash spat. “Well then I guess that it's perfectly normal for humans to have this in their possession?” She held up a plastic bag.

Oh no.

“Yes it's perfectly normal to have a bag with a picture of their family in it! How is that a bad thing?” I answered, hoping that in the process of being brought here the patch fell out.

“No! Not the picture of your family!” Dash screamed. “THIS!” She held up the object in question, a unit patch that was an uncanny representation of her cutie mark.

There was no more hiding it now. Or was there?

“Bwahahaha! And what is soooo wrong with my old unit crest?” I stated sarcastically.

Rainbow Dash flared her wings out; which to be quite honest, intimidated me quite a bit. She turned to the side and, bringing the unit patch down, matched it with her cutie mark.

“That.” Rainbow Dash hissed.

“What is that?” I asked, pointing to the cutie mark, desperately trying to hide my secret.

“That,” Twilight interrupted. “is a cutie mark. Ponies get them when they discover their special talent.”

“Special talent?” I asked.

“Yes. Rainbow Dash's talent is the ability to break the sound barrier, creating a sonic rainboom. Fluttershy's special talent is handling and caring for animals.”

“And what's yours?” I asked, trying to make myself to look as foreign to this world as possible.

“My special talent is magic,” Twilight answered. “I wonder what yours would be?”

“I'd say lying.” Rainbow Dash grumbled.

“Rainbow, come on now, give him a break. Why would he ever have a reason to lie to us?”

You'd be surprised, Twilight, I thought.

For the longest time everypony was silent, and I was left alone to my thougts.

I'm starting to wonder if I am actually in Equestria. The droids are smart, but they do not have the capacity to understand emotion, human or pony. The analytical mind of a droid would come up with the most logical response for Rainbow Dash. That rebuttal that she gave was far from analytical. Then again, the droids could be utilizing references outside of the show. It only makes sense that the droids would build the world to be as realistic as possible. But it wouldn't make sense to a droid to build a world that contains content from non-canon sources, such as FiMFiction. They would try to stick with facts. But are there enough facts in the show alone to build a simulation that would be believable? From what I know, going through my bag is not very loyal. But the problem is whether or not this fact supports or disproves the theory. I wish I could ask them questions about the show without seeming like I have prior knowledge of this world.

“Um, Ackerman?” Twilight said, breaking me out of the world in my head.

“Huh? Oh! Um, yes?” I stammered.

“You look... distant. Is something troubling you?”

“No, I'm quite alright Twilight,” I answered. “thank you for your concern, though.”

“Not a problem.”

I yawned.

“You really should get some rest, Ackerman. You must be tired after losing so much blood.”

I opened my mouth to object, but just ended up yawning again.

“I suppose you are right.” I chuckled.

“Here, let me show you to your bed in the guest room.”

I followed Twilight down the hall to the guest room. The room was medium-sized (for pony standards, that is) and had two windows and a small bathroom. The walls were lined with bookshelves, and the spaces that weren't were covered with a book wallpaper.

That's Twilight for ya. I thought as I chuckled inwardly to myself.

“Something funny?” Twilight asked.

“No. Well, actually there is.”

“And what's that?”

“It's just that anyone with half a brain could tell that you are borderline obsessed with books.” I chuckled.

“Oh she's waaay beyond obsessed.” Rainbow Dash chimed in from downstairs.

To this, Twilight simply rolled her eyes.

“Well here we are,” Twilight stated. “I'll just step on out so you can get some sleep.”

“I can't begin to tell you how thankful I am.” I said.

“For what?”

I nearly fell flat on my face at her response. Does she really not know?

“For this. The bed, the room, my healed wounds. All of it. Everything. Right down to the simple act of you listening to my story.” I was starting to tear up again. Not out of depression, but jubilation. Something about this place seemed to make me feel emotion as if I never had emotions before.

“And for that, I thank you.”

“Don't you worry one bit about it,” Twilight said as she walked towards the door. “now do yourself a favor, and get some sleep. Luna knows you need it.”

I laid down in the bed as Twilight shut the door behind her. And for the first time in seven years, I slept. No dreaming, no nightmares, no mortar strikes waking me up at night. Just sleep.

A New Day

Ponyville 0800

Wha- why is my alarm clock going off? Wait, my alarm was never this loud- AAH!

“What the hell is that??!” I exclaimed, rudely awakened from my slumber.

“VINYL! SHUT THAT BLOODY ALARM OF YOURS OFF!!!” I heard a British-accented female voice exclaim.

Vinyl? Wait, no- THE Vinyl Scratch?!

“I'm tryin' Octy! Just gimme a sec,” a tomboyish voice responded. “There! It's off!”

Ugh... Well I'm awake. I guess I might as well go see if Twilight's up. I could really use something to eat... my stomach growled as if to emphasize the thought.

I rolled off the bed and got to my hooves. I turned to the door, only to find a floating platter of food in front of my face.

“GAH! WHAT THE HELL?!!” I yelled falling backwards, startled by the ghostly platter of food invading the room.

“Oh! Did I scare you? I'm so sorry!” Twilight apologized.

Oh yeah. Equestria, unicorns, magic, I thought. Getting used to this place is gonna be harder than I thought.

“Don't worry about it, I'm quite alright.”

Twilight wasn't paying me any attention. Instead she was looking at something metal floating in mid-air behind me, pointing at her. I looked to see what had caught her attention. What I saw amazed me to say the least. Floating above the ground and surrounded in a green aura was my M4 carbine. The selector switch was set to semi.

“When did you learn to use magic?” Twilight asked.

“I didn't.” I said as I concentrated on switching the selector to safe; slowly lowering it to the ground.

“You... didn't?”

“No.”

“Okaaay... well... I brought you some breakfast.” Twilight said.

“Thank you so much. God, I'm starved.” I said as she lowered the platter to the ground. On it was a bowl of oatmeal, two pieces of toast, an apple and some orange juice.

Heh, all that's missing are the eggs and bacon. It's gonna take some time getting used to eating nothing but vegetables and grains. I thought as I started to dig in. Within a minute I was finished with the oatmeal and had moved on to the toast.

“Wow. I didn't think you were that hungry.” Twilight said, clearly perplexed at just how quickly I had finished the oatmeal.

Great. Now she thinks I'm a pig.

I slowed my eating. “There's an old saying in the army, that is 'eat now, taste later'. In a combat situation, you don't really have the luxury of taking your time to enjoy the food. Not that you would ever want to. The rations the army gives you are... interesting to say the least.” I concluded, shuddering as I remembered the horror of menu 4; Omelet and Ham MRE.

“Oh.”

There was an extended silence while I finished the meal in front of me. Once finished, Twilight broke the silence.

“I've been meaning to ask you, what is that... thing?” Twilight asked, pointing towards my M4.

Great, what the hell do I say? Do I stick with the truth, and tell her that it's a weapon that can take a life in an instant? I thought. Then again I could omit some of the details...

“Ackerman?”

“Huh? Oh yeah. That.” I started. “This is the single most important tool of war humanity has ever created.” at this, Twilight's eyes grew wide. Not from fear but from... intrigue?

“Wow,” Twilight stated as she looked upon my weapon in awe. “What does it do?”

Great, now I have to tell her.

I proceeded to concentrate on levitating the weapon, and soon found it surrounded by that green aura once again. Once in the air, I removed the magazine and started to disassemble the weapon. Once disassembled, I levitated a single 5.56mm NATO round.

“This is a five-point-five-six millimeter standard NATO cartridge.”

“NATO?”

“North Atlantic Treaty Organization. A bunch of countries from my planet, The United States included, formed this alliance in 1949 in the mutual goal of peace-keeping. The alliance is, in most respects, a military one. In 1977 NATO chose this cartridge as its primary round. That way the armies of NATO could easily exchange rounds between each other, should the need ever arise.”

“Okay.”

I rotated the round so the blast cap faced Twilight.

“See this small circle right here?”

Twilight nodded.

“When that circle is struck, it causes a chain reaction inside of the cartridge. This chain reaction causes a small explosion which, in turn, propels this bullet at very high speeds at the target it is aimed at.”

“What is used to strike it? It looks far too small to be struck by anything larger than a pin...”

God damn, she's smart.

“This,” I said, inserting the round back into the magazine and bringing up a long silver piece of metal. “is the firing pin. It is held in the bolt carrier here,” I said, putting the weapon together, explaining each piece I assembled.

“The extractor goes into the bolt carrier, the bolt carrier gets inserted into the upper receiver, underneath the charging handle. The upper and lower receivers are then assembled back together; and there you have it. The M4A1 Carbine.”

“What about this?” Twilight asked levitating the magazine.

“That goes into the magazine well here.” I stated, pointing to the empty slot under the weapon.

Twilight inserted the magazine.

“Can you show me how it works now?” Twilight asked.

“Yes. Do you have any ear-muffs? Cuz this is gonna be pretty loud.”

“No, but I can always cover my ears.”

“Okay. But don't say I didn't warn you. One more thing, do you have anything that you don't mind being damaged?”

“Here, you can use this extra pillow” Twilight said as she levitated it off to the other side of the room.

“Alright, here goes nothing.”

I raised my weapon, trying to get the best sight-picture I could by just levitating it. I decided to give up on the sights and turned on the laser. I focused on first locking the bolt to the rear and then releasing it, chambering a round. I then focused on moving the selector switch to semi. And finally pulling the trigger. The hammer fell, prompting the firing pin to strike the cap. The powder exploded, and with a loud 'bang', propelled the round out of the barrel at a velocity of 2970 ft/sec. The gasses expelled by the round traveled through the gas tube towards the bolt carrier, pushing back the bolt carrier through sheer force. The extractor pushed out the expended cartridge, while the bolt carrier, reaching its maximum rear limit, graciously received another round from the magazine below. The bolt carrier returned, new round and all, to its original position, ready to fire another shot.

The round struck the pillow and exited the other side, embedding itself in the wooden wall behind the pillow, which was now nothing but a mess of feathers, shredded cloth and stuffing.

“Wow,” was all Twilight could say. Her eyes were wide again, but this time they were wide from fear. No, not just fear, dread.

She must be thinking if it did that to a pillow, what it would do to something living. My suspicions were confirmed by her next inquiry.

“You said this is a tool of... war?” Twilight said, shuddering at the word 'war'.

I took a deep breath.

“Yes. It is a tool of war, used for-” I almost choked trying to name its purpose. “Its purpose, when the trigger is pulled, and when it is aimed at a living being, is to kill.”

At this, Twilight lowered her head. Her next response came as a barely audible whisper.

“So... when I came in the room... you-” I could see tears starting to form in her eyes.

“No-no-no-no-no. That was an instinctual response. A result of my training. I would never-” I couldn't bring myself to say it.

I quickly changed the subject.

“That's not its only purpose. There are people called professional shooters who entertain audiences of men, women and children of all ages with their skill behind a rifle, carbine or pistol. They preform all kinds of impossible shots, like shooting a playing card while it is flying through the air. Or shooting the right kind of cards out of a deck to get a royal flush.”

“Oh...” Twilight said in a solemn voice.

“This weapon has saved lives as well,” I stated matter-of-factly. “It has saved my life on more occasions than I can count. In Afghanistan, if I hadn't fired this weapon to take the life of a suicide-bomber, many more innocent lives would have been lost.”

“Suicide-bomber?” Twilight asked; though I had a feeling she knew, based on the tone of voice she used and how she recoiled when she said 'suicide'.

Equestria is obviously not a stranger to suicides. What a disappointment. And here I thought that this was such a perfect little world...

“Yes. A suicide-bomber is someone who straps themselves with explosives, then walks or drives into a highly populated area before triggering said explosives.” I said, dipping my head in the depressing thought of just how fucked up my world is.

Seeing this, Twilight decided to change the subject, if just slightly.

“So... basicly... you took one life to save many?” Twilight said as more of a statement than a question. I decided to humor her nonetheless.

“Exactly. A famous doctor once said- The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, Though I disagree for the most part. The needs of the many may be immoral, therefor the needs of the few; those whose needs are morally driven towards the good, outweigh the immoral needs of the many. Unfortunately, time and time again, the needs of the 'many' are usually for personal, selfish gain. Not for the well-being of others. Aaand I just went off on another one of my tangents. Good job Ackerman.” I said with a shake of my head.

Twilight giggled. “Oh, don't worry. I do it all the time. I find it keeps me-”

“Sane?” I interrupted with a raised eyebrow.

We both shared a chuckle, which quickly escalated into a full-on fit of rolling laughter and guffaws. As our seemingly endless sea of laughter stilled, Twilight was the first to calm herself enough to speak.

“In a sense, yes.” Twilight said, wiping a tear of laughter from her eye.

After that little side-track, Twilight decided to show me around the house. She showed me the kitchen, living room, her room, etc.

“And this is the main library.” Twilight said with an overt sense of pride.

BELCH-FWHOOOMPH!

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!!?” I exclaimed, my eyes darting to and fro searching for the source of the sound. My eyes came to rest over near the kitchen, where footsteps could be heard running towards our direction.

Wait, footsteps? Running? I thought there were no humans here!

“Who's there?” I called into the kitchen.

No one answered. The footsteps stopped.

That can mean only one of two things- either the owner of said footsteps is an intruder and I caught him or her, or my mind is playing tricks on me.

The footsteps picked up again. Only this time they were barely audible and much slower. Almost as if the intruder was sneaking.

They're getting closer, I thought. It's coming towards us.

My heart started to race, cycling the adrenaline throughout my veins. My training started to kick in.

“Twilight, get behind me.” I said in a calm but commanding tone.

I could start to see a shadow being cast along the floor. Whatever it was, it wasn't human. The shadow that had been cast was a purely menacing sight. Big claws, spines lining its head going all the way down its back, ending at its tail. I got into the best fighting stance I could take in my current form, which looked like a stance a dog might have taken if it were backed up against a wall.

Twilight just laughed and walked closer towards the kitchen.

What the hell is she doing?!!

“Spike, it's alright,” Twilight said in a loving tone. “you can come out.”

Spike rounded the corner. He was holding a sealed scroll.

“This is the unicorn I wrote to Princess Celestia about.” Twilight regarded the purple dragon.

Spike looks at me.

“Dude, Twi said you had weird mane, but not that weird!” Spike said

“Says the tiny purple dragon.” I shot back.

We both shared a laugh.

“You're okay dude.” Spike said between chuckles.

“Ditto.”

“Spike, is that a letter you're holding?” Twilight asked.

“Wha- Oh! Yes. I think the princess replied to your prior letter.” Spike said, opening the letter. “Ahem,
To my most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, I am glad to hear that you are doing alright after the changeling attack. Your brother sends his regards, and wants you to know that the honeymoon went on without a hitch, so-to-speak.
I am also very proud of how well you handled the situation with the unicorn. The fact that you and Rainbow Dash saved a pony that you never met from certain death reminds me once again that the elements of harmony still hold true to their virtues.
As for this unicorn, Ackerman, I would very much like to meet him as soon as is possible for you and him.

Sincerely your mentor and friend,
Princess Celestia”

I just sat there with my mouth open. I'm going to meet Celestia herself? This is so AWESOME!!!

“Twilight, what does this mean?” I asked, playing dumb and doing my best to hide my elation.

“How well are you feeling, Ackerman?” Twilight responded.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Are you well enough to travel?”

“Um, I guess. Why?”

“Because me and you are going to be taking a little trip,” Twilight said, a smile growing on her face. “to Canterlot.”

As for those who aren't military or weren't in around the time the omelet and ham MRE's were around, here's a pic of the horror that was MENU 4