Hitch Gets Bashed

Chapters

Sunny
Pipp
Izzy
Zipp

Sunny

Sunny was trotting through the museum passing through all the amazing artifacts from the time of the ancient Equestrians. Lots of amazing gadgets and gizmos still existed, capturing the awes of all the ponies around, but Sunny wasn't just browsing, she was searching for something in particular. All her research, she just knew this would lead to the next big discovery in reuniting their world.

Hitch, who was on security, noticed her browsing through the exhibit. He rushed up to greet her.

"Sunny! Nice to see you here!" He said, "What brings you to the museum this fine night?"

Genuinely glad to see her, he couldn't help but be just a little curious at her arrival, this close to closing time.

"Oh, I just heard the museum had a new artifact on display, and I decided to swing by and check it out."

"Oh," Hitch said, "Well in that case-"

But Sunny was already off, her attention caught by something in a nearby case.

"And there it is!" She announced, trotting in the case's direction.

Hitch followed her and looked into the case which she was admiring. Inside was a large golden key, sparkling in the museum lights, on its handle was engraved a noble and magnificent dragon.

"Here it is," Sunny said, "The key to unlocking the Hidden World."

"Come again?" Hitch asked.

"Legend has it that back in the days of Equestria, there were also dragons in the world," Sunny explained, "One such dragon, Spike, was said to follow Queen Twilight on all her adventures. After the different types of ponies split, the dragons retreated into some Hidden World and were locked away with this very key to avoid getting caught up in the conflict."

"Sounds like another movie," Hitch remarked. "Sunny, we don't even know how historically accurate those legends of Equestria are. Dragons don't exist in our world anymore," Hitch said, "If they ever did."

"Only because we keep the only key to their world locked up in our museum," Sunny tried to explain.

Hitch sighed, rubbing a hoof to his head. Somehow he knew where this was going. "I'm sorry Sunny, but I can't let you take the key."

"Okay," Sunny answered, straight-faced.

And then she brought her hoof down on the glass case as hard as she could.

The glass shattered, alarms were suddenly blaring.

"I'm sorry Hitch, but we'll never know the truth if we keep our only key locked away from the world."

And then Sunny took off with the key.

Hitch grumbled to himself. Not again.

Why did Sunny always have to go on these illegal quests that were probably for the greater good, but still illegal, not to mention.

How had he known this was going to happen?

"Sunny, wait up!" Hitch cried, giving pursuit.

Sunny fled out the doors to the museum, and into the night air, Hitch following closely behind.

As he galloped after her through the streets, Sunny swerved into an ally. Hitch was right behind her.

Sunny stopped, a dead end. She spun around and faced Hitch, approaching her cautiously. "Okay Sunny, the game's up. Return the key, and I will drop all charges."

"Hitch," Sunny begged, "This key is the only way to bring dragons back into the world. Don't you want that."

Hitch sighed, "Sunny, you've already reunited the different types of ponies, isn't that enough."

As Hitch stepped closer, Sunny swallowed, suddenly realizing what she had to do, to get away from Hitch and complete her quest. She winced. This was going to be so awkward. Why was her mind in such a place where she knew that what she was going to do next would even work?

"I'm sorry Hitch," Sunny said. Suddenly, she spun around, lifted a back leg, and swung it back hard, under Hitch's belly, and through the opening in his legs headed for his tail. Sunny cringed as she felt her hoof make contact midway through. And pony hooves were hard!

Hitch's eyes popped, his knees buckled underneath him, and he crumpled to the ground, grabbing at his injury in mortal agony, unable to do anything else. And suddenly, Hitch realized he was wrong in his earlier assessment, this night was not going in the direction he'd thought it was going to go at all!

Pain! His weak spot! It hurt worse than anything else! Out of all the places to kick, how could it be there, so fragile and unprotected. He moaned.

Sunny shifted her legs, feeling herself go red at the thought of why it worked on him, but would never have worked on her. Because he had… and she had… She didn't even want to think about it, but whoever you were looking at, it was still embarrassing, and she didn't want to think about the embarrassing reason she couldn't be hurt like that, even if it played in her benefit right now. And the fact that she should even know the technicalities of how it all worked, what she'd just done… Cringe! Guys, girls, it was all too weird for her.

"I'm sorry Hitch," Sunny said again, "But I have to do this."

And with that, Sunny took off, fleeing into the distance, leaving Hitch folded up on the ground, alone in his agony.

She had kicked him and brought him down and been able to escape because she was a girl, and he was a guy. He had never made much of it before, but now he was cursing the fate that had cursed him with such the disadvantage just because he was a guy for some messed up male reason. A fate no girl pony would ever share.

Pipp

Pipp held her phone out before her, ready for her live-stream. Too long had the Pinkie Pie family line hoarded the #1 spot, now that had finally changed.

Pipp hit the record button. She was live!

“Hello all, this is Pipp here. Today I have a special announcement. I have just hit #1 most subscribed to channel on the internet, because of course, I deserve it. So, in celebration of my 8 Billion I-Just-Passed-PewDiePie special (take that House of Pinkie Pie), I am going to be taking suggestions for things I should do today, and then doing them-”

5 Million requests came in at once.

“Hold it, I can’t do all of them, but I will pick and choose the best of your ideas and show how special of a streamer Pipp really is. Now let me get started.”

Pipp turned the comments on slow mode and began scrolling through the suggestions, pulling them up on the screen… “Eat a pineapple (Ooh, yum)… Sing at the top of your lungs (Oh, I love that one)… Show off your wings (Don’t I always?)… Kick Hitch in the-” Pipp stopped, “What? Who sent this?”

Pipp tried to suppress the redness she felt coming to her face, she had to keep it together. But it was so wrong…

But at the same time… She couldn’t help but feel herself cracking up inside, just the thought, it was so…

No, it would never happen.

But Hitch, as a guy, just the possibility, that it could happen to him, and not to her, was just too good…

That was besides the case, Hitch wasn’t here. Pipp tried to keep a straight face for the camera. Back to the show.

And suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

Pipp looked at her phone, “Sorry, I have to get this.” Pipp turned her head to the door and shouted, “Go away! I’m live-streaming right now!”

Another knock, “Pipp, this is important!” Oh no! Hitch. How could his timing be so… now “Pipp, let me in!”

Pipp looked down at her phone, and noticed she had left the post pulled up on the screen, and the world was going crazy. Messages were popping up left and right, “Do it!” “Kick him!” “I LUV Hitch! Make him SUFFA!” Pipp looked at the door. It was like destiny.

Finally, Pipp opened the door, and Hitch trotted in. “Sorry to interrupt, but I’m looking for Sunny, have you seen her?”

“Oh, Sunny?” Pipp said, trying to keep cool, “Her and Izzy came by earlier and asked if we wanted to go on some quest with her, something about finding a lost tribe of dragons or whatnot. Zipp left with them, but I had a really important live-stream to attend to, so I had to stay behind.” Pipp looked at Hitch, she could just imagine what was going to happen now.

Hitch meanwhile, got straight to the point, “Do you know which way they’re going? Sunny left none of her notes at the lighthouse for me to follow.”

Pipp stretched her wings, “I may be able to help. But I have to finish this live-stream first, the fans are waiting. Care to join me?”

As Hitch followed her into the room, Pipp noticed him flinching slightly when he stepped. Had he pulled a muscle in his leg or something? “This isn’t going to take long is it,” he asked, “I really have to find her.”

Pipp looked at him and winked, “It won’t take any longer than you need.”

Hitch furrowed his eyes. What was that about. But he stepped up beside Pipp anyway as she resituated her camera.

“Here we got Hitch with us today. Say hi to all my fans Hitch.”

“Hello,” said Hitch awkwardly.

Messages were coming up on the stream, but Pipp quickly hid those when she saw what they were about. Fortunately, Hitch hadn’t noticed.

“It’s going to happen.” A comment said.

“He has no idea what he’s in for…”

“LOL.”

“Are you ready?” Pipp asked Hitch.

“For what?”

Pipp sighed to herself. Of course he wasn’t.

“Tell everybody, are you a boy?”

“Uh, yes? I don’t see what that has to do with anything though.”

Pipp took a deep breath. Oh the things she did for her fans.

Pipp brought up her back leg, positioned it under Hitch’s belly… And kicked it back as hard as she could, through the opening of the legs, toward his tail.

And contact!

Instantly, Hitch folded in on himself, giving out a guttural crying groan. It was almost as if he’d just recovered from such an incident. What was the story there?

Hitch dropped to the floor in absolute pain, the heart shape on the hoof did not help, he could feel it’s exact shape throbbing where he’d been kicked. Not again!

Meanwhile, 67 Million hearts filled Pipp’s screen. She was trending! PewDiePie’s record was now left far behind in the dust.

“You see here, what just happened to Hitch,” Pipp said, taking advantage of the fame, “that could never happen to me, because you may already know, girls just happen to be more elegant and refined in their make-up than males.” Oh the wonders of life.

The screen filled with replies and hearts.

“Hitch is so HOT!”

“SQUEEEEEEEEEEEL!”

“I LUV Boys!”

“Hitch! MARY ME!”

Pipp looked at the comments and decided, maybe Hitch was getting too much attention for this 8 Billion I-Just-Passed-PewDiePie special, it was time to turn things back over to her. Pipp looked at her phone. Actually, now she was close to 9 Billion subscribers. What a boost! But just in case, she put a sound filter on to cloud out Hitch’s ongoing moans in the background.

So Pipp continued her live stream, showing off her hair, her wings, shake her hiney. Stuff like that. By the time she brought it to a close, Hitch was just starting to recover. Pipp had stayed true to her promise, it hadn’t taken any longer than he needed.

“Ready to find Sunn?” Pipp said.

Hitch groaned, “Let’s get on with this.” He just hoped he could still walk.

So, the live-stream over, Pipp stepped out into the world to help Hitch find Sunny and the others.

This would need another live-stream!

Maybe she should have started there in the first place.

Izzy

Following Pipp flying just ahead of him, leading the way, Hitch began to gain ground on Sunny and the others, pushing past that uncomfortable ache that made him limp, which had somehow become his reality. Why Me? From the air, Pipp noticed all the signs of the direction the others were heading, and after only a day’s ride she spotted them in the distance.

“Hurry, they’re that way!” Pipp cried.

Hitch took off, galloping down the plane, until finally, he could see them himself. Oof! That ache hurt. He never wanted to face that kind of pain again.

“Halt! Stop right there!” He cried. Sunny, Izzy, and Zipp turned around to see him coming, and standing still, they let him catch up.

When Hitch finally came up alongside them, Izzy’s eye’s lit up. “Hitch! It’s great you’re here, are you coming with us?”

But Hitch just looked at Sunny seriously.

“Sunny, the game’s up, now give me the key.”

But Sunny just looked at him, “Hitch, you don’t understand, we are this close to bringing dragons back into the world, don’t you want that?”

Hitch paused, flinching as he remembered how painful it was last time he’d tried to get Sunny to return the key, “I know it all sounds nice and everything, but we can’t have this, that key belongs in a museum.”

But Sunny just looked in the direction they were heading, “Listen Hitch, the gateway is only another day or two north. Just give us another few days, and then you can return the key to the museum all you want.”

Hitch looked at the other two with her, they all had expectant looks on their faces. Izzy looked so pathetic, he didn’t know what to say. Pipp alighted beside the others and looked at him.

“Bringing back the dragons doesn’t sound all that bad,” Pipp said, “It would make a great live-stream.”

Hitch flinched remembering how painful live-streams could be. He was really beginning to hate his life.

But then, Izzy looked at him so hard, begging him with everything she had. This was special to her, this as important to her, this was important to all of them, how could he say no.

“Okay, but then we return the key after this is all done, okay?” Hitch said, “And to make sure you do what you’re supposed to, I’m coming with you.”

And with that, Izzy lost it, hopping around with joy, every which way. “Yes! Yes! YES! Hitch is COMING!” She cried as she leapt around Hitch, her mane flopping all over the place, it was getting in her eyes. She was so excited, she lost track of where she was, rocking to her own beat.

Finally, she flung her head up…

And then it came to a stop, her horn hitting some sort of resistance above her.

The other girls were gasping…

But Hitch just gave a suspicious jagged gasp.

And then Izzy took a look up at her horn. Somehow it had found its way just past his tail,

and through the opening in his legs.

Izzy quickly pulled her horn away in horror, and Hitch finally let out an agonized groan, folding in on himself…

And collapsing to his knees on the ground, trying to grip himself with his no-efficient hoofs.

All the girls stood there watching, looking at eachother, and then at Hitch as he groaned on the ground, holding himself in sheer pain, not knowing what to make of it. None of them would ever act like that.

And then Izzy started to feel herself getting herself back together. “Did I just hit a boy in the…”

Izzy knew what happened to boys when they got hurt a certain way, but she had never thought…

“Did I just hit a boy in the…!” And at that, Izzy lost it. In all her life, she had always thought herself too modest to ever do that to a boy, but now that she actually had, all those suppressed feelings about how hilarious it was at boy’s weakness she had ever felt came pouring out, and she collapsed to the ground screaming and laughing like never before. How was it that boys could be so weak and sensitive that they could be knocked down to such a fetal position with just one hit? How was it that boys could be so FUNNY! Boys. Boys.

“Boys!” She giggled as she rolled on her back hysterically.

Izzy also knew girls had their own share of funniness, but it wasn’t the same kind of funniness where they could be knocked down with one hit, and what happened to Hitch contrasted that perfectly.

“Girls.” Izzy giggled to herself, and the other girls looked awkwardly among themselves knowing what she was talking about. Sunny didn’t really wanting this “funny” fact of themselves brought to light, and she wasn’t sure what the others were thinking. Pipp seemed proud of herself, but Zipp’s expression was unreadable. They all looked so normal, she couldn’t process that every single one of them had some weird facts about them as well. But then again she knew all sorts of weird stuff about herself that only came from being herself, was it possible that every single pony, no matter how normal looking, really had to live with their own weird facts about themselves? She’d never wrap her mind around it.

Hitch meanwhile didn’t want certain weird facts of himself brought to light either, but these past few days, this pain seemed to be the only thing there was to think about anymore. And all the girls, blessed to know they’d never turn out like him, standing over him. He wished he was never born. Too much PAIN! This was his only life, this pain that kept shattering his reality again and again! HE COULDN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! But as much as he couldn’t take it, the pain wouldn’t stop. Somehow he feared this wouldn’t be the last time either. IT HURT TOO MUCH TO THINK OF GOING THROUGH THIS AGAIN! (Just wait, there’s a chapter 4.)

Finally, Izzy began to regain herself, recovering way before Hitch, as girls tend to do in these types of situations. “I just like boys and girls,” Izzy explained calmly as she regained her hooves.

“Well, that’s most everybody,” Zipp said.

As Izzy stood up, Hitch was still down, he was going to be down awhile.

“Well, we should probably set up camp tonight,” Sunny said. “We’re not getting much further today.”

Boys, great companions, but sometimes they slow you down at the worst of times.

And then Izzy burst out laughing again.

Zipp

As they sat around the fire that night, Zipp was silent. She had gathered from the awkward conversations of the other girls in the group that what happened to Hitch, this wasn't the first time it had happened. In fact, every girl pony in the group except her seemed to have gotten Hitch good in the very same weak spot recently.

Zipp looked over at Hitch who was sitting down uncomfortably by the fire. Apparently he was still sore, but he was recovering steadily. He was obviously trying to hide his pain, pretending it had never happened. What else could he do when he was surrounded by a bunch of shyly amused girls.

Zipp looked out at the other girls, suddenly feeling a bit left out. They'd all had a chance to knock Hitch out with his weakness, but Zipp hadn't. Hitch was kind of cute, Zipp admitted to herself, she couldn't help but see the appeal in knocking him down in that way.

Of course, she had been there when Izzy had nailed him, but she'd instinctively looked away when she'd realized what was happening. Maybe she'd made the mistake of being too polite, but it just seemed too awkward at the moment to watch him like that. She'd overheard his moans of agony, and she could even check into Pipp's live-stream if she wanted if she wanted some past-action, but she couldn't help but feel she'd be missing the full experience the other ponies had had. Zipp kept these thoughts to herself though, not feeling the need to cause Hitch to revisit such unappealing memories through her words.

As Zipp laid down to sleep that night, these thoughts kept passing through her mind. Of course Hitch didn't deserve what had happened to him, but she couldn't help but feel she'd missed out on something crucial.

The next day as they continued traveling, nearing their destination, Zipp couldn't stop thinking about what had happened, and how she'd never know what it was like to bust Hitch that way. She kept glancing at Hitch thinking what it must be like to be leveled by something so… abnormal. It must be amusing to see him folded up on the ground in pain like that. She shouldn't have looked away yesterday. She knew she was being polite, but if she had just let herself witness what had happened, perhaps she wouldn't be contemplating these thoughts right now.

To be fair though, if she'd actually seen him pained like that, she knew she would never be able to unsee him that way, and that might make their friendship… awkward.

But seeing him now, just thinking that it had happened, she couldn't help but imagine seeing him that way, and though it wasn't something she couldn't unsee, that was something she couldn't unthink.

She looked at the other ponies. They'd all seen him that way, she was the only one who hadn't, they all still interacted with Hitch fine, right? While the other ponies would forever be unable to unsee Hitch the way that would be regrated, Zipp would be left only unable to unthink. And the disconnect between what she couldn't unthink and what she didn't have to unsee kept bothering her. Why was she the only one. It was so frustrating!

So as much as she tried, these thoughts continued to nag at Zipp's mind the rest of the journey, consuming her thoughts so she couldn't any longer think of anything else, not even the quest at hoof. Everytime she looked at Hitch, she just had to look away, feeling embarrassed for imagining him in that kind of circumstance, but unable to not to. She wondered if the other ponies felt it too. Poor Hitch, must be awkward having to walk with a group with a bunch of ponies who try as they might, can't stop imagining you in such awkward scenarios because of you carry such an awkward difference from them.

What was worse is that Hitch had made a habit of traveling closest to Zipp out of the other ponies. This was probably because she was the only one who hadn't nailed him yet, and probably felt some sense of security near her. But for Zipp, this didn't at all help the thoughts going through her head at all. Probably not a good idea buddy, she thought; she couldn't help but wonder if she was a missile waiting to go off, to do something she'd quickly regret.

But not wanting to bother the situation more, she decided to keep it in. She was good at that, not expressing things that were just too much to discuss.

Finally, after many hours of traveling, they finally reached it, the towering mountains of the dragons, rising steep over the meadow.

And following the narrow trail up the mountains, they finally reached a gaping cave built deep inside. Cautiously the ponies entered it…

And before them stood a giant door, carved with majestic swirly patterns swirling out from the center to all over its width, towering over them in great spectacle.

"Well, here we are," breathed Sunny in awe, "the gateway to the dragons."

Zipp looked at the other ponies, all awestruck by the wonder in front of them. Even Hitch was having a hard time holding back his amazement.

Zipp felt an itch of irritation. She should be standing there awing with all the rest of them, but she was still too distracted by the whole Hitch situation to really feel the weight of this moment. He looked so nice, having it together, and she bet he looked real amusing crumpled up. She tried to refocus her mind on the door, but she kept thinking "Hitch".

Great, just stop, she grumbled to herself, but she couldn't stop. She looked at Hitch who stood beside her and sighed. Bet you wouldn't feel like this if you were in his place. Awkward male and all. Why are they so funny? Why am I not self-conscious knowing why that same situation could never become of me, but am more amused on Hitch's behalf?

Sunny traveled her eyes down to a large keyhole on the door and withdraw the key. She looked at Hitch, and he nodded his approval.

Slowly, Sunny stepped up to the keyhole. She took a breath… And inserted the key inside.

There was a moment of silence.

Then CLICK.

The key turned in its socket all by itself, and Sunny took a step back in wonder.

Then the center of the door filled with multicolored light, the light started to travel outward along the swirls spiraling up and out.

Zipp began to feel the briefest bit of that wonder that was filling the other ponies, but the Hitch scenario kept nagging at the back of her mind.

Just ignore it, just ignore it.

But wouldn't it be best to go into this moment with a clear mind, to focus on just this?

Zipp sighed, best to just get this over with now. Once the distraction was out of the way, she could get back to this moment.

She glanced at Hitch, standing beside to her, staring at the door, he watching it swirl. Maybe Sunny was right, perhaps this was a good idea. The dragons would be back. He felt himself filling with anticipation as to what would happen next. They would release the dragons, take back the key back to the museum, all would be better for it, and nobody harmed.

Zipp took a breath. She'd make this quick. Then they could all get back to it.

Slowly, Zipp raised a back hoof.

And swung it back, under Hitch's belly, and through the opening in his legs, headed straight in the direction of his tail.

CONTACT!

Hitch stood there stunned a moment, all attention suddenly off the door and to the undefiable pain radiating once again to where he was too sensitive to stand.

And then Hitch dropped.

It was over, he was done for, the fight was gone from him. The pain was too much, had happened too many times, that he just folded up on the floor moaning, accepting the agony that overtook him.

The other ponies suddenly turned to look at Zipp, Zipp just stood there feigning aghast, well what did you expect? Though she knew maybe that wasn't the best thing to do.

But then the door flashed, and then the most amazing thing happened that could not be realized with words.

Instantly, Zipp realized her mistake. "Come on Hitch, you have to get up, you have to see this!" This was all amusing and good, exactly what Zipp hoped it would be, but this was not the time to just lie down on the moment.

But Hitch was too consumed by his agony to notice anything at the moment. This wasn't a quick knock-down, Hitch was down for the count.

Zipp had been so focused on being the only one in the group to not have bashed Hitch, that she'd failed to realize Hitch had always been the only one in the group to be bashed like that in the first place. He was the odd one out, he was the joke, all that Zipp had felt was nothing in light of Hitch's unfortunate predicament. Why was that still amusing?

But as much as Zipp tried to emphasize with Hitch, her attention was immediately taken by the wonder radiating from that door. As amusing as Hitch's predicament was, Zipp couldn't take her eyes off of what was happening before her.

So while the most amazing thing in Equestria happened in front of their very eyes, there Hitch lay, folded up in his agony, oblivious to all the wonder going on around him.

When Hitch finally came to, the door was gone. He looked up, and Zipp was standing over him.

"I'm sorry," Zipp said the moment she knew he was in the right state of mind to comprehend what she was saying, "I couldn't contain myself." She couldn't help the amusement as to what had happened. As amazing as what happened at the door was, Hitch's reaction was still priceless. Although she regrated doing that to him profusely, it was still undeniably humorous.

Hitch stood up and looked at the empty space where the door had been. "What happened?" He was not going to talk about what happened.

"Uh, nothing much," Zipp said, "The dragons are back." She decided it best not to mention all the wondering spectacle he had missed while overcome with his boy pain.

Hitch slowly limped back to the opening of the cave… and stood there stunned. In the meadow below them, thousands of dragons were flying around and playing together like they had always belonged there.

"It actually worked." Hitch observed through the pain. Oh how much guys can miss being so easily knocked out that, he couldn't help but feel the jealousy of his female companions.

Sunny and the others came up beside them. "I told you it would. The dragons needed to return and here we are."

Hitch sighed, trying to accept that although he had missed the event, the important task was complete. "Well, now that we've done that, let's get the key back to the museum."

Sunny suddenly went silent. "Yeah… About that… The key actually disappeared with the door."

Hitch looked at her stunned. He turned his eyes for one minute (actually, about an hour to be exact), and the very thing he had promised to return had suddenly disappeared. How convenient. (Another thing guys just happen to miss when they're in pain.)

But as Hitch looked out over the meadow, the dragons flying here and there in the carefree air, he couldn't help but wonder; that maybe it was worth it. They'd done it, they had brought the dragons back into their world. Together they had once again made another step toward returning Equestria to the former glory of the ancients.

Hitch, Sunny, Pipp, Izzy, and Zipp, they were inseparable, they were a team.

And now Hitch realized he was the only one on this team who could be knocked to his knees the same way he could.

THE END