Sunset Shimmer felt like such a foul. I'll be fine, she told herself. Everything's good, she told others. When it couldn't be more opposite. A week spent in the hospital, on pain medications and a busy schedule in physical therapy for her messed up ribs and leg, the amber skinned female didn't have to spend much time focused on her suddenly intense paranoia and jumpiness.

Now that she was discharged for two days and getting ready to head back to school, the nightmares and terrifying scenarios of what would happen if left alone, even in public, filled her head.

So, here she layed in her bed in the dark, glued to her sweaty sheets. She was a silent sobbing mess, one hand clutching her shirt over her heart and the other clutching the sheet. Her muscles wouldn’t allow her to move.

The redhead simply couldn’t breathe no matter how hard she instructed herself. Just in and out. It shouldn’t be that hard, and yet she could only get large inbreaths with no exhales.

The darkness. Anyone could be laying in wait to grab her. The more her eyes flicked around the room the closer the darker shadows creeped in. If only she had her fire magic, she’d light this whole room up and burn away all the leaking entities.

“Sunset?” A light voice with concern spoke.

The only response the other person received was short shaky breaths.

“Sunny it’s okay, just listen to my voice.” That soft velvety voice said.

How does a voice manage to automatically fill Sunsets head with pretty lavenders, the color purple and books.

“T-t-tw-twi?” Sunsets hoarse raspy voice questioned.

A delicate hand surfed through flame colored curls, “Just focus on my voice, okay? Follow my breathing.”

Sunset focused in on the slow deep breaths her partner was exemplifying for her to follow. The redheads' quick breaths slowly made their way to shaky deep inhales as the panic subsided.

A hand had found itself on the small of the Sunsets back rubbing in circles, “That’s it Sunny, there you go.”

The redhead threw her arms around the indigo haired female, grabbing at the other girl's night shirt as though if she didn’t the lavender girl would disappear.

Twilight continued to sooth her trembling form with whispered reassurances and back rubs.

As her breathing returned to a normal pace, Sunset sat up wiping her eyes free of moisture.

“Do you need anything? Water or a snack?” The lavender girl asked, placing her glasses on her face.

The redhead nodded in response.

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” Twilight said before standing and placing a kiss on Sunset’s forehead, right where her horn used to be.

Before the bespectacled female could make it out the door way, the redhead’s warm raspy voice called out, “Sparkes!”

Twilight turned back to her with a raised eyebrow.

“C-can you turn the l-light on?”

Teal eyes squinted at the sudden burst of light revealing the contents of the room. No Gilda. No masked figures, and no sick and twisted men.

“Is that better?” Twilight's soft voice asked.

With Sunset giving her a curt nod, Twilight disappeared as her footsteps made it down the staircase.

Pain and uneasiness restless around in Sunset’s chest. Stop this. She had to make it stop. Regain control over her emotions. Wrapping an arm around her still sensitive midsection, the amber skinned female got out of her bed and stumbled to her desk.

Sunset searched through her things looking for anything sharp.

Thanks to the noisy doctor her previous cutting episode had been exposed. Ever since her foster mother had been made aware the woman has been on a rampage to be rid of any and all objects that could be used by the redhead.

Sunset dug around in her art supplies and pulled out a pencil sharpener. Disappointment was found as she discovered the sharpener had been replaced with one where it would be impossible to get the razer out.

“Tirek’s hot balls.” Sunset cursed in an angry whisper.

The former unicorn paused looking up at her adorable little gecko. His large vibrant green eyes. How could she do this when he looked so worried for her?

“Sunset Shimmer. What are you doing?” A cool authoritative voice said.

The teen froze and looked over her shoulder at the evening sky skinned woman standing in the doorway with a stern look on her face.

Her girlfriend soon appeared at the side of the adult with a small bag of apple slices in one hand and a glass of water in the other, “What’s going on?”

“That’s a good question, Twilight.” Luna said.

Sunset sighed, “Nothing, I was just making sure I had everything ready for tomorrow. No need to get excited.”

“Uh huh.” The woman said skeptically, “I actually do need to talk to you.”

Sunset rolled her eyes, “Do we need to be at four in the morning?”

“We both know I prefer night anyways.” Luna tried in a stern tone.

“Sunset.. I agree with her. We’re just worried and looking out for you.” Twilight piped, placing the consumables on the desk.

As Sunset stayed silent with her back facing the two others in the room, Luna spoke, “Dr.Night Light informed me that on fridays he holds a support group for teenagers struggling. Apparently you’ve known about it.”

The unicorn turned human didn’t respond.

The dark purple haired woman sighed, “I know it sounds dumb but it helps, you can trust me on that.”

“It’s not like I deserve help.” The amber girl whispered.

“What?” Luna and Twilight asked in unison with confusion.

Sunset felt two arms wrap around her midsection from behind and a head rest on the top of her back, “Sunny, you do deserve help. You deserve all the happiness the universe has to offer. Please don’t say such things.”

“That’s not true!” Sunset shouted exposing the tears rolling down her face. The other two females looked at her with concern as a newly awakened Sombra entered the fray.

“I-I’m a terrible p-pony and per-person!” Her rant was interrupted by a quick hick of breath before she continued, “I hurt others for years, bullied, humiliated, drove others apart with lies! How could anyone care about me?! A disgusting excuse of a living being like me doesn’t deserve it! Everything bad that’s happened after the fall formal was just karma and my own fault! Gilda made sure to remind me of that!”

The redhead sank to her knees in sobs, “It’s all my fault. I've caused all of my own sufferings. I h-have no one else to blame.” Her body trembled as she covered her tear stricken face with her hands.

Sunset flinched as a smaller frame wrapped itself around her, “Sunset, you may have been… unpleasant in the past but you’ve worked hard to prove your true self and be a better person, and pony.” Twilight removed herself to stand in front of Sunset, looking into her teal eyes and placing her hands on the slightly taller females shoulders.

“I love you. I really do. I accept you and everything you are, where you come from and who you may have been in the past. I’ve spent most of my life as a grumpy antisocial bookworm, until I met you. You're the first person and friend I’ve been able to truly be myself with. You've been through a lot, not only recently but your whole life. I think it’s time you accept yourself and allow yourself to be happy.” The lavender teen wiped the tears from flushed amber cheeks.

“I love you too. I missed you, I couldn't stop thinking about you.” Sunset replied in sobs.

Twilight smiled and caressed Sunset’s wet cheek as the redhead leaned into the touch.

The two girls leaned into each other in a tight embrace.

A third pair of arms joined and a soft silky voice joined, “You know Sunset Shimmer, she said it perfectly. You might be from another world but I wouldn't want to adopt any pony turned person else.”

“Oh jeez, you ladies bring a man to tears!” Sombra’s booming voice announced as he joined the large hug, "Even Rayson agrees!" He pointing at the retile, who slowly blinked and gave a wide smile as Sunset looked at her Ray of sunshine.

Sunset giggled and snuggled further into the hug. She couldn't be more thankful to gain such a wonderful found family.

The four eventually split and gave each good night after the forty minute debacle, leaving Sunset with a warm feeling as she cuddled her Twilight close as the female gave her light kisses to her face.

***

An amber hand slammed down on a blasting alarm clock. The owner of the hand groaned in exhaustion and annoyance.

The redhead flipped onto her back and rubbed the sleepy crust from her eyes. A migraine. They had been much too regular these past two days, which she stayed home instead of going back to school. Her friends and girlfriend had made sure to visit her.

Sunset couldn't help but feel guilty. The emotional intimate night two nights ago had left her feeling ready but her alone waking mind reminded her of her depression and paranoia- which she still refused to use the word despite her therapist's encouragement, in which he gave her the afternoon before.

Her regulation had been moved to two days a week instead of one now. It was weird sharing such details of her broken mind to girlfriend's dad but the redhead has entrusted her magic and unicorn past with her girlfriend.

A knock at her opened door removed Sunset from her thoughts.

“Sunset, do you wanna join me at school today?” Luna asked.

The amber girl sat up and was hit with a light headed wave, “You got that migraine stuff?”

The woman nodded and walked off to come back with three small pills, “If you can't go the whole day that's fine, we can leave early.”

Sunset nodded, “I'll get ready.”

***

The first school day back had been spent in a haze.

Sunset tried to smile at those who greeted, but she couldn't feel her facial muscles moving upward.

Sunset couldn't feel her thinking. What the redhead did feel was wobbly and numb.

Trixie had tried her best to keep the mood light with her new and improved magic tricks as Starlight made sure to keep checking up on her only to receive, ‘I'm fine’ and ‘don't worry’ repeatedly. Lavender Lace offered herself to Sunset’s aid as Fuchsia Blush did the opposite and attempted to only speak of the redheads' interests.

She didn't care about any of it though. That made her feel. It made her feel terrible. Like a horrible friend. Like a living being that didn't deserve the happiness that others claimed she did.

Later in the day, Rarity and Applejack also made attempts to welcome Sunset back. They were quick to back off as the dark eye-bagged girl stared straight through them as they talked.

Pinkie Pie wasn't so good with taking the hint as she skipped beside Sunset shoving a cupcake into the girl's hand. Sunset licked at the icing, only to be met with disappointment as even the party planner's joy made cupcake failed to bring her any.
The car ride back home with her human mother had been quiet. She could hear Luna talking. Something about her being proud of Sunset for being at school the entire day. Her voice was fogged though.

Sunset wrote at her desk with her homework, only staring at it and lazily writing the answers as she gained no information. She was just doing it to do it. Bored, she stood up and fed Ray while giving his his favorite back scratches.

The phone call with her girlfriend remained numb as Sunset layed in bed on her side, listening to Twilight's rant of her intensely competitive classmates somehow becoming worse with the incoming Friendship games. Apparently her principal had planned on using the young scientist for the games, but that plan had been ruined as Twilight took back her independent study application. When the indigo haired female had talked through it with Sunset and her parents, though they offered support, none were happy to hear of it. There was also Sunset’s own story of her loneliness due to keeping only to her studies. Twilight had been turned off from the study program.

As the call ended, Sunset laid still in her bed for a moment, staring at her wall. All of a sudden the wall was a nasty gray concrete and the bed felt like stone. An imaginary sharp fence enclosed around her.

Sunset’s breath picked up as tears rolled sideways off her face. The teen grabbed at her sheets and threw them over her head, finding her body shaking like a scared dog.

The shadows enveloped her. What if she removed her sheets and a threat stood waiting there? Gilda? The three male goons? That masked figure? What would she do? They all wanted to hurt her. She couldn't risk it. She wouldn't let them know she was under the sheets.

So she layed in the bed, under her sheets, fighting a bloody war with sleep. She couldn't sleep. They could take her in her sleep.

‘Don't fall asleep. Don't fall asleep. I can't. I won't.’ Was all she could think through at the long and tearful night.

***

Now the day before the weekend. The amber girl couldn't keep her eyes open even while standing. The past two nights she spent up, fighting against sleep again. The day before was spent with her mind and insides just as empty with a tingling numbness buzzing in her limbs.

The redhead stood at her locker, nodding off, her body swaying back and forth in a fight to fall to the ground. Her head slumped forward only to crash into the edge of her open locker door. Her eyes reopened slowly, barely processing her hit.

“Sunset!” a far away voice yelled. Sunset looked up to see her four friends, circling her with concern written all over their faces.

“Sunset? Are you okay?” Starlight Glimmer asked, her voice being heard as if she were several steps away.

The redhead nodded, grabbing a random textbook and walking off to her next class.

The others were quickly behind her, “Uh, Sunny, where are you going?” Trixie? had asked.

“Class.” Sunset mumbled out.

“But it’s lunch.” Lavender Lace said.

“Oh. Okay.”

The five now made their way to the cafeteria, gathering their lunches and sitting at the table watching Sunset fight sleep.

“So, Sun, are you tired?” Fuchsia asked sarcastically.

The four stared at her, waiting for a response that never came.

“Should we take her to the nurse?” Starlight asked.

Trixie stood up, “Trixie will take her, we’ll be there in a jiffy.”

As the sky blue skinned girl reached for the wand in her boot, Sunset suddenly bolted up to her feet.

“Sunset?” Trixie asked in a startled gasp.

The redhead’s eyes flicked around the large room before she took a deep breath, “I’m gonna go get me an energy drink.”

The four watched the slumped, hoodie adorned female walk to the vending machines.

“The wise and worried Trixie suggests we go to the principal's office after school.” Trixie said, sitting back down.

All agreed.

***

The weekend was spent downing energy drinks at all times of the day. It helped her stay up tremendously. At night she waited for the rest of the house and her girlfriend fell asleep before downing the heart racing beverage. Sunset had noticed Luna keeping an extra watchful eye on her.

The energy was spent drawing. The illustrations were nothing like what she usually did. They involved charcoal scribble like figures, both human and pony. Some grinning, some crying. All in the dark, some lurking and some deformed.

Saturday, Twilight and her spent the day running around town as Sunset’s thought's ran a mile a minute before they switched back to the numbing faze. Twilight would voice her concern only for the redhead to deflect.

Sunday, the drinks didn't work for her. Stupid tolerance. The morning was spent fighting sleep as Twilight massaged her scalp.

“Sunny, you look tired. You should sleep some more.” Her beautiful soothing voice said.

“I want to…”Sunset whispered out.

Twilight kissed Sunset’s forehead, “Then do.”

“But what if someone tries to take me?” Sunset asked with fear evident in her voice.

The lavender skinned girl looked into her eyes, brushing red messy strands from her girlfriend's tired face, “I’ll protect you, no one is going to hurt you.”

Sunset snuggled her head into Twilight's neck, thinking she still had her muzzle to nuzzle into the indigo haired girl's neck, finally allowing herself to sleep.

***

The former unicorn hadn’t woken up until the early evening of that Sunday, downing a large breakfast dinner.

Monday was spent in that familiar hazy numb state.

As the redhead stood in the bathroom during the lunch period, splashing cold water on her face. The water refreshing her eyes and bring a short awareness to her. Sunset Shimmer reached for a power towel, drying off her face.

The door creaked open.

Sunset froze, her heart picking up a moment in paranoia and fear.

‘Don't freak out, Sunset. They are all in jail, there is no reason to be scared.’

The power towel came off of her face as Sunset hesitated to look in the mirror. The redhead almost wished she kept her eyes covered as pure anger filled her ribcage at the sight of the person behind her in the mirror, a distance away.

The redhead smiled at the irony that she had been spending her weeks numb until the sight of a girl with butter yellow skin with pastel pink hair had made her truly feel her first emotion in a week and a half, anger.

“S-sunset, I-I-”

“Stop, don't even try.” Sunset said, throwing the towel away.

“I’m truly am sor- '' Fluttershy tried only to be cut off again.

“No, I don't want nor need your apology. You and I will never be friends again so don't even try it with me.” Sunset said with her voice starting to raise.

“I’m gonna go before I get too mad.” The redhead said, mostly to herself, stomping as much as she could in worn converse that she lazily threw on, the laces barely tied.

The sensitive teen attempted to blink her tears away but failed as a few tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Really, you're crying? Really?” Sunset said angrily, “Dear Celestia, you really are fucking pathetic.”

The long haired girl hid her face behind her curtain of hair as more tears fell.

Sunset scoffed and angrily threw the door open, stomping her way outside, anger bouncing about like a buck ball in her insides.

The redhead paced in circles, clutching her hair in her hands, feeling tears in her eyes now. She knew she fucked up. She knew she took it too far by calling the animal caretaker something so ugly. It was just like what the bully Sunset Shimmer would do.

Sunset’s breaths picked up in short breaths as her walking picked up before she stopped in front of a large tree at the front of the forest behind the school, kicking at as hard as she could.

“Ah! Fuck!” Sunset shouted out in pain, more anger and frustration clouded her as she threw a hard punch at the tree. Sunset hadn't realized her fist sprouted a hot bright yellow flame ball that transported to the tree at contact.

Sunset fell to her knees as she watched the tree light up in flames.

Resting her bottom on top of her ankles, Sunset fell torso forward in sobs. As the sobs subsided, so did the blazing fire on the tree.

Numb again.

The bell had rung signifying class starting again.

Sunset wobbled and swayed as she struggled against the pain in her ribs to stand up.

Shoving her hands into her hoodie pocket, she made her way back across the parking lot that she didn't realize she crossed in the first place and a glint of light caught her side vision.

The amber skinned female walked up to the shining object and her breath caught at the sight of what had caught her attention.

Glass shards. Sharp. Can easily cut flesh.

Sunset bit her lip. She really shouldn't do this.

As she turned away the burnt tree stared back at her. Sunset whipped back around, grabbing the smallest shard, the distressed teen ripped her sleeve down and without a thought and sliced her skin open.

A tremble wracked her body in pain.

Tears stained the road under her as she continued and more and more blood joined the stains.

Author's Note

Well Well Well, the chapter had a promise of a good start but the author ended that quick. Why would they do that?!

Well because yes, there are promising and happy moments, depression can be quick to make you forget that.

Its a sad day when we get to this point. How will things look up? Can they?