Mother's Love

by Felfox

Rating: mature
Tags: Drama, Princess Cadance, Queen Chrysalis, Non-consensual, Shining Armor, Violence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Flurry Heart, Death, Narcotics
Length: 3753

After losing her hive Chrysalis is broken. But why? Why does she feel like she does? Changelings don't love, they just don't. Even their own children. So why does her subjects betrayal hurt so much?

After Starlight glimmer, Trixie, Discord and Thorax infiltrate the Changeling hive and show changelings the "Pony way" by teaching them how share love instead of consuming it, the Changelings turn away from their queen and assume Thorax as their new leader. Chrysalis flees to a distant corner of equestria. Normally, fueled by hate for her enemies, she would retreat and begin planning a revenge right away. This time hoever, she doesn't feel hate. Just sadness. She doesn't even want to take revenge on her former subjects. But why? Why won't she simply hate them? And how will she cope with this new weird feeling?
Cover Art by PacifistDoodl3r

Published 2022-11-19 18:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-11-19 18:00:01 UTC

What is this feeling?

Author's Note

If you didn't like the story, please leave a comment explaning why.
All critique is sincirely appriciated. I want to know what i did wrong.

What is this feeling?

How could they do this to me?
Did I not mean well for them?
Did I not do my best to make their lives better?
Did I not feed them when they were hungry?
Or when I saw that they were suffering, did I not try to help them?
Was I not a good Queen?
Or at least better than my predecessor?

My tears kept falling into my reflection, unifying with the water in the pond I sat over.

“SO HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME?!” I screamed into the night sky.

They just replaced me. They ditched me just like… like we get rid of our victims after we’re done feeding on them. Just like that.

I bursted into tears and felt my throat swell, then I hung my head down, and looked into the pond.

Looking into my reflection, I saw a legend, an evil queen that mothers scare their children with. A fear of everypony living close to the north-eastern border of Equestria…Crying and sobbing like a foal.

Why am I crying? They were just my servants. Nothing more. I may have grown attached to them, but only because they had been with me for so long.

I felt tears running down my cheeks.

And here I am, crying like I-...

I stood up quickly, and shook my head. The urge to cry left me almost instantly.

No. I'm NOT like ponies. I DON'T bond with other creatures like them. I don’t love.

I just got used to them. Just that. They were just tools that I got used to.

I noticed a glint on the other side of the pond. I walked over to it, and saw a group of yellow-white mushrooms the size of my hoof, their caps were covered with little blue crystals and smelled sweetly.

I knew these mushrooms. Melch, a drug. I never allowed my subjects to do drugs, it would cause too many problems if they got addicted to them. I have never taken drugs myself too, I wanted to always be fully sober, in case something in the hive needs my immediate attention.

I picked one of the mushrooms in my magic, lifted it to my head, and watched it cautiously.

I felt tears welling up in my eyes

Now I don’t have a hive to take care of. Anything to make me stop thinking about them.

I took a bite, it didn’t taste half bad, so I took another one, and another one, until I ate it whole.

I immediately started to feel dizzy

Suddenly a shower of emotions flowed through me. A shot of energy, euphoria, motivation, an influx of new ideas, a feeling of something grand, and epic.

I jumped back on my hooves.

YES! I KNOW! If I’ll start doing things on my own, I won't need them, and thus, I’ll just forget them and move on! And I know just the thing I can do on my own first.

Revenge!

HAHA! HAHA!

***

Who would have thought the mere thought of revenge would make me so happy again! All my worries just disappeared! And I didn’t know riding a train could be so fun too! The feeling of my hair being tossed by the wind, I loved it! Everything was great again!

As we passed homes sticking out of the snow, their windows glowing orange, I was engrossed in considering all the possibilities, and forming THE GREATEST PLAN OF MY LIFE! The plan for now stated:

Do something so evil, so diabolical, that the name Chrysalis will forever strike fear, and shock into the hearts of ponies. Just thinking of it made me all fuzzy and warm inside!

Of course without my hive, my options were very limited. But I don’t need those traitors. I can do it on my own! I barely even miss them now, what is there to miss. They were just tools.

I will kill Cadance’s and Shining Armor’s foal. And do it all by myself.

Twilight sparkle is going to be devasted, and I'll prove that I don't need my ex subjects! Then I'll just forget them and move on. The simplicity was truly marvellous! I can’t wait for when we’ll arrive in the Crystal Empire!

***

I had to wait for everypony in the castle to fall asleep, so I did a little sightseeing while I waited. And i've got to say, this city is GORGEOUS! The crystal castle bathed in the setting sun looked beautiful, and everything’s so clean! I mean, the crystal ponies could use something other than crystal as a building material from time to time, but other than that, just beautiful.

When the night finally came, I was feeling unrested, but ready. I took a bite of the mushrooms I found in the forest, and changed into a pegasus version of the beautiful dark purple mare with curled ash grey hair and emerald green eyes I was disguised as. I picked every aspect of my disguise very carefully. I wanted it to be perfect! Perfect disguise for my perfect plan. I took off, flew around the castle a couple of times, and noticed a balcony on the top of the castle. Royalty always occupies the top, I was a queen, I know.

I smiled widely, they must be right there! I began flying towards the balcony.

“WHO GOES THERE!” A voice from below me.

I looked down, a palace guard noticed me circling around the castle, and was flying in my direction!

I began to feel dizzy again.

“What is your business here?” He asked when he flew close enough to not have to scream.

“Oh, me? I-I was just admiring the castle. And the… the balcony over there.”

“Pegasi are not allowed to fly higher than the royal balcony when closer than hundred metres to the castle, you can admire the castle from a lower altitude.”

“Oh, of course, I forgot, Sorry!” I began scanning the castle for more guards, but I only saw one more at the main entrance.

“Are you alright ma'am? You look pale.”

“Me? Yes yes, i just… I must have eaten something earlier, thank you.” I turned around and flew away from the guard. How am I supposed to get to them? While I was gliding down, I felt a shot of energy through my body. The tiredness faded, positivity, and new ideas came to my mind. It’s fine! I’ll just get to them from the inside. My great plan will still work. I noticed an open window, and upon making sure i was out of the guard's sight, Iflew through it, into a pitch black room.

I easily flew in, but I couldn't exit it. The door was locked somehow, I didn’t see any lock, so I assumed it was jammed, or I just wasn’t trying hard enough. I was trying to push them open for a long while now, and my side felt sore from banging with it. My tongue was itching, and I actually felt tired again. Am I growing immune to these mushrooms or what?

Ugh, I wish I had my drones here, they would make it all a whole lot easier.

No. Don’t think about these traitors! I don’t need them, I’ll prove it. I grabbed another mushroom, and ate it whole.

A familiar shot of energy ran through my body again, and the pain from my side faded. Yes, revenge, the foal.
The door opened, and a white mare with brown mane appeared in them. She looked at me shocked for a moment, then her face softened, and she bursted with laughter.

“Did you lose your bracelet?” She said after she finished.

Bracelet? She had a bracelet on her foreleg. Were they some kind of key?

“Yes,” I said irritatedly. I don't like when ponies laugh at me, it's humiliating.

“And you spent your whole night here?” She bursted with laughter again. “Alright, skedaddle out of here.”

She really was getting on my nerves.

I grabbed her, pulled her inside, and closed the door behind her. She tried to scream, but I held her mouth shut with my hoof. She began struggling but I changed into my normal form, and overpowered her, pinning her to the ground. I'd put her into a cocoon, but I didn’t have time for that, so I just vomited a bit of the changeling wax, tied her hooves and taped her lips with it. I took her bracelet, and changed my form to look like her.

When I exited the room, I saw dozens of ponies moving in all directions. What time was it? I was sure it was the middle of the night a while ago… doesn’t matter. Now to find another entrance to the royal chambers.

My hooves clicked funny on the crystal floor

Click click click click

I’ve at least got a bracelet. My tongue won’t stop itching, not even after the mushroom, so I began biting it lightly, it gave a little relief from the itching.

I wasn’t happy, but I wasn't sad. Just focused, focused on my task, on my plan. I walked the corridors, squeezing between the ponies walking in all directions. The royal chamber was up on the top, so I had to find stairs leading up.

I noticed a guard looking straight at me in the corner of my eye. I quickly turned my head towards him, but the guard was gone… Nonetheless I felt like I was being observed.

I walked aimlessly through the blue crystal corridor, hoping to bump onto a set of stairs, or anything that would lead me to the royal chambers.

I walked straight, then turned left into the same looking corridor full of ponies, then straight again, the same blue walls, then right, Then straight again, still the same, blue crystal walls, then left again. This castle was a true maze!

I kept biting my tongue, it hurt properly when I bit it now, my muscles twitched, my teeth began to itch too and… It was getting dark again?

Then, behind a corner, saw something amongst the, now few, ponies, a familiar shade of pink fur.

Starlight Glimmer.

I began rushing towards her, pushing ponies aside. But when I got to the corner I saw her behind, she was gone.

What is… Guards everywhere, Starlight…

They must know I'm here. This is a trap!

I quickly turned around, squeezing through ponies again, bashed into the nearest empty room I found, and held the door while holding my ear against it.

The door opened suddenly, knocking me away from them. And a castle guard emerged from them!

He must have noticed my shock, because closed the door behind him, cutting off the corridor noise. “Calm down ma’am” I quickly spotted a metal chair next to the room’s table, and grabbed it in my magic, ” you’ve been acting wei–”

BAM a dull sound of the chair hitting his metal helmet. He still stood, shocked, so I hit him again BAM, he swayed, BAM, he fell down, BAM, BAM, BAM. I released my breath I didn't know I was holding. He was unconscious. A wave of tremendous exhaustion engulfed my whole body and I collapsed on the floor.

This isn’t working. They’re gonna find either him or that mare sooner or later.

I really miss my drones.

No. I don't need a hive! I don't miss them! I'm just used to them. I just need to do it without them.

After laying for a moment, I finally got up, ate another mushroom, walked to the door, and put my ear to it.

Nothing, Absolute silence.

I exited the room, leaving the guard as he was and… the corridor was empty? And dark? How long have I been in that room?

The itching suddenly stopped, but I still felt tired. Damned mushroom! Why are they failing me when I need them the most!

Just like my subjects.

But the ponies will pay for it. Yes… They will pay.

I started trotting, carefully now, and approached a big door in the middle of the corridor. I didn’t see it before. It wouldn’t open.

Then I heard a distant sound of many galloping hooves.

The guards are onto me!

I began pushing against the door furiously. It finally opened when I accidentally leaned on it with my brace leg.

A two story high circular room lay before me. A great double-winged staircase went through the whole room and led to a large double door.

I closed the door and held it, listening.

Quiet again.

They’re hunting for me, trying to get me by surprise! I cantered up the stairs, and reared up,and tried pushing them with my two forelegs. They didn’t move.

Damn it! I began pacing on the spot.

Damn you ponies. You think this will stop me?

I heard a foal’s cry from inside. Then hoofsteps, and the cry stopped.

It must be them! It's the right door!

My tongue was swollen and hurt properly when I bit it, and my teeth itched again.

I need another bracelet. From somepony important, somepony in this castle must be able to open that door! Yes, the right bracelet is somewhere there, I just need to find it. Then I'll finally show them.

I heard a clatter of galloping hooves

and silence again.

I felt lymph in my mouth, I must have bitten my tongue too hard. It felt swollen, and hurt. Just like my legs.

And my flanks

And my wings.

If I could just get up and stretch them out.

The thought was tempting. But no. Any second somepony would get inside this room. It’s an important room, of somepony important, somepony with the right bracelet.

But my back protested, Laying under a bed for…

I don't know how long i've been laying here. I don't even remember getting here.

I heard a whisper. I glanced around the pitch black room, what was that? Is somepony here? The room was empty when I entered it, and I didn't see anypony entering. I would notice, I didn’t sleep.

Another whisper. I popped my head out from under the bed to make sure.

Empty.

The other side then.

Empty.

Is this another trap?

I saw shadows through a chink under the door, so i hid under the bed quickly again.

What if the guards were still hunting me? Perhaps they are preparing to storm this room right now?!

The thought made me shiver, and I actually started feeling things walking over me. I began scratching myself all over, but it didn't help.

“[Unintelligible]-don’t care, I don't want anyone watching me sleep.” Then, I heard the door open.

I saw blue hooves walk up to the dresser, and put something on it, then the pony went to the bathroom. I felt dozens of things walking all over my body.

The pony sat on the bed. I saw two blue hooves dangling down close to my face. I didn’t move an inch.

But I really wanted to.

I can’t move now, I need to be quiet now, I thought as the blue pony layed just a few centimetres above me.

My teeth started itching more than ever, and my swollen tongue tasted like Lymph. I felt very light pain in many places around my chest and legs. I felt tens, no, hundreds of little legs walking all over me.

I can’t move, I can't move, I can't move.

SNOOOOOORT

He's already asleep!

I quietly slid forum under the bed, stood up, and quickly, but quietly began scratching all over my body. I didn’t feel the bugs anymore, but my whole body Itched. It was frustrating!

I looked down at the bed, and…

It was Starlight Glimmer.

You…

I lifted my shaky hoof, above her neck.

You, and that traitor Thorax.

Rage filled me, and my breathing sped up.

You made my children abandon me!

I stomped as hard as I could.

Snap!

I held my eyes closed for a while breathing heavily. Nothing. No satisfaction, no feeling of justice being served.

just sadness.

My children…

And rage.

Abandoned me.

Because of them.

I was tired. Everything was woozy, and my whole body was itching. I clattered my teeth to make them stop, but that just made them hurt too. My tongue hurt very much too, and my mouth and throat felt dry as a chip. I lifted my last two mushrooms, and ate them one after another.She had a bracelet on his foreleg.

Her blue leg.

It wasn't Starlight Glimmer… Just some blue pony…

I took it, and put it on without thinking too much. I was too tired for this. I felt nothing after the mushrooms. I hoped that at least the itching would stop. That made me even more angry. Doesn’t matter. I'll make them feel the same pain as I do. I will get that foal.

There are guards outside.

I'll get out through the window.
I opened the window, and began climbing the castle's wall. I didn't have the strength to fly.

To the balcony, to the foal.

After a couple minutes, I climbed on it, and carefully pushed on the door. It didn’t move. Why? I have the bracelet! I looked down on my legs.

I'm pushing the door with my bracelet less leg.

I finally opened that door.

Shining Armor and Cadance, together in their bed. I smiled widely. The foal…

Very slowly, almost limping, I walked into the room. No foal here. I saw an open door which led to another room.

I made my way there, and in the far corner of the room, I saw a wooden cage, filled with blankets and plushies. I closed the door behind me, and with shaky steps, I walked to the cage. To the foal

I felt i was at my limit, everything was hurting, i had weird wounds i don't remember getting all over my body. everything itched, the whole inside of my mouth hurt, and i felt things walking over me too. But at least I will hurt them, all of them, like they hurt me, even if it kills me. I licked my lips in anticipation, and opened the top of the cage.

The foal was there, sleeping among the toys.

Ironic. They took my chil- my servants from me, so I'll take their child from them.

I lifted my hoof above the baby’s neck

Funny.

She looks a bit like a changeling pupa. Wrapped tightly in blankets, with just her head sticking out.

Just like little changelings sleep in their cocoons.

I remember watching my chi–... servants in their sleep.

I clattered my teeth, to stop the itching, was sweating, and felt random muscles in my face twitch .

The foal opened its big eyes

and smiled.

He thinks I'm gonna stroke his head.

My hoof began to shake.

I used to stroke them like that, when they were sleeping.

I should do it quickly, so it doesn’t suffer needlessly.

I put a hoof to the foal's throat.

The foal… It grabbed my hoof and hugged it lightly while purring loudly.

I could feel It’s heartbeat, it’s breathing.

I sat down, and just stared at it. It fell asleep again, holding my hoof.

I felt hot, my muscles were shaking, and I was breathing irregularly.

I want to do it, to show the ponies that i'm not done yet. To show that I don't need my hive.

But I can’t do it.

Why can't I do it?

I heard the door behind me open, and heard an ear piercing scream.

“C-Ch-Chrysalis!”

I looked behind me. Cadance stood on the other side of the room, her mouth open, and eyebrows raised in fear. Soon after, Shining Armor joined her.

“P-Please, don’t do it.” She pleaded, while Shining Armor just stood there, glancing around the room.

I smiled widely. well, i couldn't do it, but this view is a nice compensation for that.

“Please…”

“What do you want Chrysalis” Shining Armor finally spoke

I smiled even wider and pulled my leg out of the baby's embrace and stomped on a wooden toy next to the baby without a word. Looking straight into her eyes.

There was a crack, and a quiet squeak.

Even before my leg reached the toy, Cadance was already screaming, her horn lit up, and she shot me with a blindingly bright pink beam. It knocked me away, pinning me to the wall. I felt searing pain across my whole body, like I was being burned alive, inside and outside. When she stopped, I fell from the wall and collapsed on the ground, coughing and greedily gasping cold air into my lungs.

But I felt accomplished. I couldn't actually do it, but I did it, without them. Soon, I’ll just forget them, because it was just it, they were just my tools.

As I raised my head, laughing and breathing heavily, I saw Shining Armor standing above me. His face was emotionless, but his eyes… He grabbed me by my hair with his hooves, and bashed my head against the floor. The world spun, the pain eclipsed all my senses, and I stopped recognising shapes. Then, he did it again, and again, and again, everything went dark, but I still felt pain, and my head moving up and down.

Soon, it too stopped.

***

I opened my eyes, it didn’t help at all, everything was still pitch black. I wanted to bite my tongue but I couldn't, something in my mouth prevented me from even closing my jaw. I didn’t want to move, I didn’t even check if I could. I didn’t care. I was just lying there, thinking.

I didn’t do it, I couldn’t.

It’s because the foal reminded me of them.

Because I couldn’t stop thinking of them.

Why can’t I stop thinking of them?!

I don’t know. Thinking of them makes me feel things.

Something I have never felt before. I don’t know what this feeling is.

No, it can’t be love, I’m not a pony, and love doesn’t make you cry right?

It must be hate. That would make sense after they betrayed me like that.

Yes, just a new type of hate. A type that doesn’t make you angry.

Just… Makes you want to cry…