Transferring to a new town was always difficult. Not knowing anypony in that new area always complicated that. However, that issue was not new to anypony now. After a war, it was essential to repopulate the cities and towns that had once fallen. They were cleaned up of course, that was customary for any town brought back for resettlement. Any damage to the buildings or infrastructure that needed to be fixed took time, while priorities over essentials were overseen first.

As gruesome as this war had been, many ponies wanted to forget or push that memory as far from the surface of their mind as possible.

It was a good goal to strive for, admirable even.

Even if it had very limited effectiveness.

Returning to these recolonized towns one would often come across a scene where the reminders of that war occurred, triggering an involuntary revival of repressed memory, such scenes happened to be a destroyed home, a damaged building, or a certain personal landmark to somepony…where they had lost a loved one during that horrible event a few years back.

Those that survived from or near the affected areas had witnessed the events first hoof. Many would never speak of it again, less it triggered attacks on their anxiety and PTSD levels they suffered ultimately from. Some that did choose to speak of it, however, regarded it in a few different ways. Some good, some bad.

During his trip over to Tall Tale from the Equestrian Capitol City of Canterlot, Dusk was approached countless times about what he and his brothers in the Royal Guard had seen during the war. He, of course, did not fault them for asking such blatant and loaded questions, regardless of whether they knew if it would have an effect on him or not by re-living those memories to talk about it. If they did know, they didn’t show it.

But the flashbacks of memory that always accompanied those questions was always inevitable in leading the former guard stallion towards discomfort. Every time Dusk had finished, he would have to excuse himself from the inquisitive group to rush back to his cabin car. Upon reaching it, Dusk would always fall to the floor almost immediately, his hooves shaking uncontrollably from the effects of the scarred memory. No longer having the ability to stand at those times, his heartrate would skyrocket while the thoughts and memories in his mind would flash about, as if caught in a terrible whirlwind. The emotions and memories that collided with each other trapped the stallion within them. As they replayed over and over constantly, this only worsened his reactions. Thankfully, if not mercifully, the sounds of the train were able to mask the painfilled cries Dusk had made from under the covers of his makeshift bed.

The duration of such outbursts varied, depending on how long the stallion had endure the questioning others gave him. However, Dusk would always have to excuse himself every time it became too much to hide or to deal with without drawing attention. Having to endure this over and over again during his trip on the train, and at times even before the train, had exacted a heavy toll on the former guard.

The cause of everything he endured now had started during winter about three years ago. What was initially thought to be only a serious illness or some kind of plague…quickly became something else.

Something far, far worse.

Starting out only as a reservist guard back then, with nothing more than the usual monthly training and meetings that was required of him, none of that experience had prepared Dusk for when the war against the vampires kicked off.

From what he was informed when the war started and his unit was activated, his company commanders told him and the other reservists in the unit that beyond the borders of Equestria and the known lands surrounding the kingdom, a foreign race of ponies had pushed into Princess Celestia’s and Princess Luna’s domain. That before the actual war had started, it was determined that a small force of scouts had infiltrated the border towns of Equestria to gather intel on the strength of the country’s forces. During which, the foreign ponies took what they needed to survive from the local populace. Capturing, converting, and draining Princess Celestia’s beloved ponies of their blood. Using the cover of winter, the local disappearances were blamed on the harsh conditions of the weather and the severe sickness that commonly came from it. Only when entire towns along the border had finally gone completely silent and the medical research and rescue teams that was sent to them from Canterlot by the sun goddess herself had also disappeared was when the real truth was revealed. Because of this, the attacks on the next set of towns had become more brazen and open. In doing so, units of the Royal Guard that were stationed nearby had finally arrived and encountered the enemy. During this battle, several reports were sent back to the capitol city to inform the two diarchs of the discovery. By that time, the invading race of blood thirsty ponies, now reinforced with equestrian-turned-converts and other members of their kind, finally declared war on Equestria and began to lay siege on one town after another. And thus, the war had begun.

Of course, all of those in the active guard units knew about what was really happening long before his unit was made aware of the situation. But when he and everypony else in his unit were finally told, they were all put under strict orders to keep that information a secret. Despite feeling it was wrong to withhold such crucial information, many of the members in the guard had family and friends in those affected areas, and none of them wanted to be forcefully confined in canterlot, held under arrest for violating the order, when they would have the opportunity to be deployed in areas where they could try to rescue their loved ones.

His foalhood friend, Zephyre Sky, whom Dusk had regarded by his friend’s nickname as “Thunder” during his time in the orphan system while growing up as a foal, had informed Dusk that his twin sister and a younger sister in the nearest town that was affected by the war or was close to being at-risk. And while his friend was good at hiding his emotions from others, Thunder knew that he could never hide his feelings or anything that was bothering him from Dusk. And thankfully, he never tried with the brown unicorn.

Shortly after the war started, Thunder confided in Dusk many times of how badly he wanted to travel to his sister’s town and get them out by any means necessary. By orders, or not. But if he was to leave, Dusk’s friend feared he would be held in jail for leaving without permission. As the regional patrols around the safe borders in Equestria intensified, Thunder knew that the units stationed there would surely catch him if tried to sneak through. That wasn’t to say Thunder wasn’t very fast or agile for a pegasus…but it was just nothing when comparing that prowess against a well-trained unicorn’s magic or several other equally-trained pegasi guards from the active service branches that patrolled those areas.

But when the time came that their unit was to be sent in to secure the nearby towns for aiding the evacuation and the pacification of the infected, a deep sense of worry filled Dusk when Thunder volunteered for his sister’s location. And when Dusk volunteered to join his friend and the rest of the team to be sent there, that feeling only grew worse.

But still, feeling or not, he wasn’t going to let his best friend head there alone. He had grown to care for him over the years…far beyond that which a normal friendship would venture into.

Having grown up together, through all his schooling and shortly before the war had started, Dusk had found that he had fallen in love with the pegasus.

But before he could get the chance to open up to his best friend about his feelings, the foreign vampire ponies had invaded Equestria. And the dreaded feeling Dusk had about his friend going on this rescue mission had only affected him even more if he didn’t go with him.

But little did he know…that that decision to go….

Only made things much worse.

“So, what happened?”

“…Dusk?”

Pulled away from his own thoughts by a sudden voice closest to himself, Dusk blinked from the startlement. With a black flowing fringe style mane covering one side of his face, the brown stallion turned his gaze away from the train car window to the vocal source of inquiry. The voice seemed to belong to an earth pony mare that looked no older than 20, her coat being light brown save for the bright green color mane and tail she had. Unable to make out the apple cutie mark from her sitting position, he turned his gaze to her two other friends, one being a light blue pegasus mare and yellow unicorn mare that sat beside her. Both of her friends remained quiet as they patiently listened to the started conversation.

Using that moment of silence as her cue, the earth pony mare rephrased her question.

“Pardon me, Dusk. But in that town that you first went to with the other guards, what happened there?”

Dusk gave each of them a glance before returning his gaze to the snow just outside the window after hearing that question. His ears lowered to the sides of his head.

A moment later, he sighed heavily.

Despite being a bad time for all of Equestrians, the war was still a pretty popular topic. He was surprised that there was still somepony on this train that didn’t know of his recollection of events. Surely it would’ve gossiped around the entire train by this point, especially since they were nearing their destination.

On the other hoof….

Whether they truly did not know, or had heard about it already from the other passengers but preferred to hear it themselves directly from him…there was no way to tell.

“It was tough…” He began, but paused shortly after, inhaling and exhaling slowly with his eyes closing for a moment.

“Did you…see them there?” The light blue pegasus mare, beside her friend, added in.

Dusk opened his eyes again and nodded silently, his gaze once again transfixed on the train car window.

Her follow up question nearly became inaudible as the sounds of a resurfacing memory replayed once again in his ears, the glass window in front of him giving his eyes a personal flashback recollection of the memory.

// Screaming. Shouting. The cries of the terrified ponies fleeing in all directions around, amidst the sounds of battle taking place all over. The recently infected turning around the corners of the townhomes nearby and leaping on the nearest fleeing pony, biting into their flesh as they screamed in pain, shock, and terror. The sounds of his unit moving in to assist the active service guards at his location and engaging the enemy with them. All the while the recently infected attacked the active service guards and fed upon them and the fleeing refugees they caught. //

Dusk shook his head, bringing his mind back to the present. Without looking towards them, he responded.

“Perhaps the biggest problem for us was not seeing an actual “enemy” that we could distinguish from every pony else and fight without hesitation.” He explained. Pausing only briefly before continuing, “…and you would think that the enemy was some other creature from a foreign land. Something that you can easily identify friend from foe. But here…it was not that.”

Dusk’s eyes narrowed, ears lying flat against his head while a small growl was added to his next words.

“…but it was not that. Not at all.”

Raising a hoof to the window, Dusk’s eyes shifted to it, recalling how the crimson color of blood that had once stained not just his leg, but the short brown fur covering his entire body. The many battles and close calls he had been in since that night.

“They looked like us, too.” Answering bluntly. “Princess Celestia’s beloved ponies. Equestrians. Not some other creature that was grotesque, or mutilated, or even undead looking. They looked normal, like us! Sure, their bodies had signs of physical wounds, bite marks, and even blood around their muzzles. But that was it! Their eyes were normal; save for when it would go full red during the times they would feast on somepony. They even speak as you and I do. You would think something so ravenous or monstrous behaving would be easy to identify, that their ability to act, move, and speak normally would be impaired or something—but no, you’d be dead wrong. You wouldn’t be able to tell that something was off about them until they were too close. Until you had let your own guard down…to which there would be a price to be paid for making that mistake….”

Dusk’s voice trailed off as his gaze morphed into that of a 1,000-yard stare.

“…as somepony very close to me found out…”

The mares gasped.

“…some stallion that I loved.”

Hesitantly, one of the mares ventured to ask.

“What happened to him…?”

Turning to her, Dusk didn’t respond.

All three mares visibly flinched.

“Oh no…” one of the mares barely squeaked out.

“My first engagement with the enemy…was against somepony I knew. Somepony, I grew up real close to…and eventually fell in love with.” Dusk replied while trying to keep his voice from cracking, the volume of his voice fracturing from the failed attempt.

The sounds of everything around him tuned out once again as the former guard picked up a certain voice echoing faintly in his ears.

// The sound of a distinct pegasus guard, crying in relief, while hugging his twin and his younger sister amidst the chaos of the battle raging on around them…only for it to suddenly be turned into one of sudden immense pain. //

When the memory ended, the room was silent. The indistinct chatter that carried on in the background during his interaction with the three mares had vanished at some point.

His hoof, that had been pressed against the window during the talk, began to tremble. At the same time, when he finally realized it, a warm wet sensation was already dripping down the side of his cheek. Dusk’s eyes widened. Acting instinctively, he turned his face away from the mares and any pony else that was probably watching him. Biting his lip, he silently began to chastise himself for the momentary loss of self-control. The effects that he felt every time he was retelling his story had started to return. And at this point, it was beyond what he could manage to reign back in. He had to wrap this up now and leave before it got any further out of hand.

Pulling his hoof away from the window, Dusk took a minute to collect himself as best as he could before rising from his seat. The three mares across from him openly stared at the stallion from a loss for words. Why they were so suddenly at a loss the stallion did not know. And to be honest, that made him anxious. And now that Dusk was able to look around the room beyond them, the rest of the dining car had seemingly caught the last bit of his conversation as the ponies from all around the room remained silent. Dusk could feel every pair of eyes on him as he gave the mares a polite “goodbye” and headed for the nearest train car exit. Passing the last table in the dining car closest to him, Dusk reached the door before a voice behind him spoke up. To which, he froze.

“Dusk…are you alright?”

Turning away from the door to the owner, a gray unicorn stallion donned in golden armor seated at the last table by the door with two other grey unicorn guard stallions. The other two guards looked at him but had remained silent. The one who spoke, looked Dusk over slowly as if already recognizing the answer the former guard was going to give.

Dusk returned the gaze, looking over each of them before returning to the first. “You already know the answer to that question…Raze.” He replied, giving the particular guard stallion a knowing look.

Said stallion nodded back, his gaze turning to one of more sympathy. “Yeah, but still…we miss you brother.” His ears lying back against his head, the guard looked at the floor. “After you left, our unit was never quite the same as it used to be.”

Dusk nodded in agreement. “…I know.” Reaching over and gently lifting his fellow guardsman’s head back up to meet his own gaze, Dusk looked directly at Raze. “But you remember why I left?”

Raze nodded again, answering with a low disheartened tone, “…Thunder.”

The other two guards looked down at the floor one after the other, having visibly flinched at the mentioned name. The rest of the dining car was still silent, but neither Dusk nor his fellow brethren paid them any mind as the four guard ponies remained silent for another long moment.

“But you helped us eliminate so many of the vampire ponies because of him, Dusk. While some others in the guard believed you might’ve become obsessed with volunteering to go on vampire hunts after the war ended. We, by that I mean us and the rest of your former unit, don’t blame you at all for that.” The third guard added.

Dusk sighed.

“But the acting captain, at the time, saw differently. He believed that I had an unnatural “blood lust” for wanting to hunt down any remaining vampire ponies that still belonged to that dead vampire queen,” Dusk countered.

“He wanted to keep me stationed at the castle ever since he started believing that,” Dusk clarified, looking at the third guard. “And because of him, it made my decision to leave the Royal Guard all the more bearable. If I can’t go out to protect Celestia’s beloved ponies from those damn monsters when they scattered across Equestria after their loss from the siege on Canterlot…and from when the princesses finally killed the damn vampire queen…then why would I continue to be there at all?”

The three stallions didn’t have an answer, so Dusk continued, huffing in annoyance.

“I did not join the Royal Guard to become some glorified hall monitor. I joined to protect everypony in Equestria, especially the princesses. Just because some captain didn’t like that I always volunteered for a hunt--.”

“Dusk, it wasn’t your fault. Not with what happened after Canterlot. And certainly, not with what happened to Thunder.” The second guard interjected on Dusk, trying in an effort to comfort the fuming former guard stallion.

Turning away at his words, towards the door, the quivering of his hooves grew worse as Dusk now felt a steady warm wet trail of tears flow down both sides of his muzzle. He found himself staring at the door as his breath became shaky, all the while trying desperately to hold back from breaking down.

“P-please…s-stop saying his name.” The brown unicorn pleaded.

// The sound of the pegasus’ pain-filled scream slowly echoing in his ears once again. //

“I…I’m sorry Dusk,” the second guard apologized, looking down at the table in front of him, body lowering in his seat dejectedly.

Although everyone in his unit once tried to convince him that he wasn’t guilty for what happened that night, Dusk knew it wasn’t true. Nor did it help as they thought it did. He knew chastised himself for not seeing the possibility of danger coming. And when it did, he should’ve done something. Anything. Instead, he froze, like a pathetic, helpless, terrified foal. Watching somepony he grew up with, his best friend that he had fallen in love with, reaching out to him, screaming in terror and pleading for help. The terrified expression on his face as he was attacked by his own sisters. To which, he, while his best friend since they were foals in the orphanage together was being attacked and pleading for his help, did nothing but stand there. Stunned. Frozen. Terrified. Because of that, Dusk witnessed his best friend, and his love, die right in front of his eyes.

Only to come back….

“You all know…,” Dusk replied slowly, reaching for the doorknob, opening the cabin door.

“…that that’s not true. He died because I hesitated. He died because of me.”

Tears started to fall, but he didn’t move to stop them.

“And because of my mistake…”

He choked, his breath shaking uncontrollably now as he started crying, his body trembling in pain-mixed rage.

“…you know what I was forced to do with the stallion I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I had to watch him die for a second and final time! Because of my own hooves--”

“Dusk! He came back and attacked you!” The third guard interrupted again, rising up from his chair. This time, the stallion’s voice was pleading in desperation. “You had no choice! You would’ve died if you didn’t stop him! It wasn’t--”

Dusk shot back him with a glare that silenced the guard instantly.

Without another word, Dusk stepped through and slammed the door behind him with a flare up from his horn, leaving the patrons of the train car silent.

Ignoring the ponies in the hallway, Dusk had barely managed to slip inside his own cabin car near the back of the train before dropping to the floor, the sound of the train masking his fall from any curious ears. Shaking all over, Dusk started to pant as all sense of strength left him as he broke down and cried loudly, grabbing the cover of his bed and screaming into it. For a long time, the stallion laid there on the floor and cried the hardest he had ever done since he hopped on a train leaving the capitol city. The toll of having to retell and relive everything was far too much anymore. He couldn’t bear to do it again. No, as a matter of fact, he wouldn’t do it again. It was too much. Even if ponies were naturally too curious to a fault, he wasn’t going to allow himself to satiate their curiosity again. But for now, for as long as he needed it, the distraught unicorn allowed himself to let it all out. Pushing past every memory that resurfaced from over the recent years. From under the cover of the train in motion, and the thickness of his bed cover, Dusk sobbed, cried, and screamed away his pain, to relieve the building emotion and tension he had felt since he started this cross-country trip. And by the time that he finally felt that his emotional outburst started to wane, the stallion had realized that he had completely lost track of time.

With his crying now subsided, along with a groan of pain and protest, Dusk eventually managed to drag himself up from the floor; using the sink inside his cabin as support to steady the weakness in his legs. Looking up at the mirror that was positioned above a white clay sink, the pony was greeted with a face that he had hated for a while now.

Mirroring him in the glass’ reflection, a brown unicorn with a black mane that matched his tail looked back at him. On the side of the pony’s face that wasn’t covered by the long black strands of his mane, an emerald green iris stared back at him. Upon his flank, where a pony’s cutiemark would be located, the remnants of the mark had started to fade away. While his illusion spell was active, a rune-like star design would appear on his rear. But when the spell had worn off, or in this case, was disrupted, the unicorn was an adult “blank flank”. However, not having a cutiemark wasn’t concern anymore. And when Dusk brought one of his forehooves up to part away the mane covering his other eye, his new concern returned as if on cue, causing the stallion to let out a groan of pain as his stomach suddenly heaved. Reaching for both sides of the sink, he leaned over, holding on tightly as he began to throw up.

The sounds of the hardened clay starting to crack reached Dusk’s ears as his body continued to heave for a few moments longer before finally coming to a stop. Letting go with one of his hooves to turn on the water, Dusk groaned again as he watched the stream wash away more than several splotches of blood down the drain. This daily occurrence had started happening since the week he left Canterlot. Though, before that, he had been having painful coughs and soreness, along with other symptoms of illnesses for a while now, a lot longer than this new daily heaving. A few weeks ago, when he was still in the guard, he had been suffering these symptoms for some time, but in private. At first it was a shock to him, as he never experienced something like it. His first instinct was to see a doctor. Sure, he had sometimes gotten sick with the flu in his life. But this was different. Normally the hallmarks of the flu would be present, but with this, there was no lingering effects or symptoms that stayed with him day to day. But as he read up on his symptoms on his time off, matching them with reports of similar cases, his worst fears were proven correct.

Panting under his breath, while still holding onto the sink, Dusk felt his body shivering from before increase. Having an instinctual urge to reach for the device on the wall to heat up the confines of his cabin, the stallion remembered that he hadn’t changed the cabin’s thermostat since had he left for the dining car this evening. Which meant...that the real reason his body was shivering like this, despite the room not actually being cold, was...was....

Dusk stopped, his eyes widening.

Looking back up to the mirror nervously, his eyes widened even more upon noticing the fur on his face and the rest of his body was now dampened by the likeness of a cold sweat. Brushing his mane away from the right side of his face in sudden haste, Dusk watched in horror as both of his emerald-green eyes flicker before turning a bright crimson. The fang-like scar just underneath his right eye did not hinder the function of his eyelid as the stallion stared in fear at the crimson color his eyes made in the mirror’s reflection. Feeling a sensation in his mouth, his eyesight dropped lower as a pair of razor-sharp fangs slowly grew from the top and the bottom jaw as the unicorn opened his maw. The top pair protruded very noticeably when he closed his muzzle just moments later. The sight made Dusk growl as he pushed himself away from the mirror and the sink, his crimson eyes flaring up brightly in the reflection. The combined appearances very nearly prompted the stallion to lash out and smash the glass out of anger...but he relented.

As much as Dusk wanted to lash out, this was not his home after all, so drawing attention to himself would not be very wise. And as furious as he was about the leap in progression of his condition, there was nothing the stallion could do. Turning away from the sink, Dusk turned out the cabin light and laid down underneath the covers of his bed. The stallion stared up at the ceiling of the train as the room was still as bright as day…without the aid of any light active in the room.

Leaving because he didn’t want to be forcefully stationed at the castle wasn’t the real reason why he had left the Royal Guard. In fact, it was because he was turning into a monster. When he finally realized his diagnosis, everything seemed to fit into place. Since the siege of Canterlot, Dusk had felt his personality, as well as his “outlook” on life, begin to change. Between diving into volunteering for vampire hunts, his overwhelming hatred for vampires, his social distancing from the other guards in his unit, and a growing apathy for anything else other than a longing to hunt those blood drinking ponies, the stallion didn’t realize that something was wrong till he figured out what was ailing him. After he found out, he began to notice other symptoms as well: sensitivity to sunlight, weakness during the day, among other things. At first, it was very so minimal in scale that he chalked it up to his wounds and recovery from the war. But the more he researched everything he could, the more these little things became apparent as more than what they seemingly were.

Eventually, he knew what the symptoms led up to. And that was why he couldn’t stay. He didn’t want to be a threat to other ponies, let alone to anymore members of the guard. Which was why he decided to resign and hop on the earliest train to the farthest reaches of Equestria. He signed up for the recolonizing effort in a way to get as far away from everypony as possible. Even if that means leaving the border town he was heading to behind and venturing out beyond the safe zones of the Equestrian border. Faced with what he was becoming, he didn’t himself to be near anypony.

And as his eyes slowly started to lose focus the longer Dusk stared at the ceiling, one last thought occupied his mind just before sleep and exhaustion claimed him and the unicorn passed out to the rocking of the train.

…Was turning into a monster the cost I had to pay my mistakes and sins?...

Author's Note

Writer's Edit: Looking through the first chapter, I found so many areas that needed drastic editing and change. Prior to the release of Chapter 3, I will be making an edit of Chapter 1.
I hope you enjoy the edit! Thank you for reading.

Howdy there!
This is a first for me to post a story for others to read. I'll be working on the pacing of the story in the following chapters.

The first chapter is always a test. I didn’t want to risk flooding it with too much exposition. That can be evenly done in the next coming chapters, especially the 2nd chapter.

Criticisms, comments, concerns, and questions are welcomed.

Have a great day!