Humbling Healthcare

by Some Leech

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 4442

In a disastrous turn of events, having attempted to take her mind off Celestia's antics, Chrysalis winds up bedridden - fortunately, a special somepony shows up to care for her wounds...

All Chrysalis wanted was to have some fun and vent some stress - regrettably, after setting her sights on Luna, she winds up with more than just a bruised pride. All but in traction at her hive's hospital, barely able to lift a chitinous hoof, she'd left to sulk and brood on her past mistakes - that is until a very special visitor arrives.

Artwork by Xarakayx and edited by Evan (Twitter @evan555alpha)

If you want to help support me, I have a Tip-Jar/Patreon HERE

Published 2022-11-23 21:20:06 UTC
Last updated 2022-11-23 21:20:06 UTC

Mortifying Medical Care

“Ugh…” Chrysalis feebly groaned, languidly looking over at a carton of Apple Family Farms Apple Juice resting on her nightstand.

Retrieving the fruity beverage should have - would have been a trivial affair, barely any effort whatsoever, although her battered body and bruised ego made the laughably easy task almost herculean. Resting on her back with casts covering her limbs, neck, torso, and horn, only her eyes were left with unfettered freedom of movement. She’d been laid low many times in her extraordinarily long-lived life, bested by the Elements of Harmony, Princess Celestia, and the newlywed Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadance, yet the trouncing she’d received only a few days prior was by far the worst beating she’d ever gotten.

She glanced to the window of her chamber, ignoring the steady beep-beep-beep of her heart monitor, and scowled at the setting sun. Her most recent foray with Celestia hadn’t gone as expected, but that small exchange, while unpleasant, had only been a catalyst for her current predicament. After the Princess of the Sun had single-hoofedly assaulted her castle, indulging her with love and leaving her in a corpulent, wholly unbecoming state, she’d sought a distraction to vent her ire - a younger, less experienced, formerly banished distraction.

Though she held no particularly strong hatred of Luna, the young Diarch was the perfect candidate for her to reap her revenge - or so she’d thought. Twilight Sparkle had her friends and the Elements of Harmony to protect her, Princess Cadance had her husband and a retinue of guards, and Princess Celestia had legions of incompetent guards and the admiration of the strongest heroes in all of Equestria; with exceptionally few ponies worthy of her fury, she’d chosen whom would be the easiest, most vulnerable target in the land.

Months of careful observation had been enacted, studying Luna’s habits, mannerism, and routines, until Chrysalis had learned every possible detail about the formerly villainous Diarch. Once her surveillance had been completed, the plan practically created itself. She would sneak into the Canterlot Castle just after sunset, borrow the young alicorn’s diary, and then leave the journal and all its juicy secrets on the doorstep of the Equestria Daily Newspaper. The scheme, though simple and petty, was flawless - sadly, retaliation was swift and completely without mercy.

Less than a day had passed since the first story had circulated, attesting that Luna had a rather amorous interest in a stallion named Zephyr Breeze, when the hive was brutally attacked. Strings of expletives rang through the tunnels and corridors, beams of raw energy blasted her keep to pieces, and her brood scattered to the winds, as the terrifyingly wrathful Princess attacked. The assault had lasted less than an hour, yet ruination was left in Luna’s wake.

The bad news was that her hive had been decimated, her castle razed to the bedrock, and she’d been left with more than just a bloody nose from the furious rebuttal to her relatively harmless plank - the good news was - well, there honestly wasn’t much good news to speak of. She’d gotten her flank handed to her, her loyal praetorians hadn’t put up the slightest bit of resistance, and she was ultimately left to recover from a humiliating and nearly fatal defeat.

Twisting to the side, wincing and trying in vain to wrap her lips around the juice box’s straw that lay just out of reach, she fought the urge to move. Doctor Arista, the most competent physician in her brood, had been very specific with her instructions: relax, drink plenty of fluids, and give her fractured chitin time to ment. With proper care, she’d be back on her hooves in about a month or so - less if she didn’t stress herself, yet the post traumatic stress from Luna’s visit may very well last a lifetime.

She peeked over to the exit, licking her parched lips and considering her options. As much as she would have liked to call upon her magic, her arcane might, much like the rest of her, had suffered from the totally one-sided engagement. The gnarled, keratinous protrusion on her brow had been heavily damaged, rendering her helpless for the time being, although it would grow back after a few weeks - still, she’d been adamant that the useless, defective horn not be removed until a new one had begun to sprout.

“Nurse,” she croaked, the perspiring juice taunting her more and more with every passing second. “Nurse, I’m thirsty…”

Though it pained her to call for help, grinding salt in the deep wound to her price, it couldn’t be helped. Things may have been a bit different if she’d been able to properly feed, to stalk some unsuspecting, ignorant pony and siphon their energy, but that wasn’t the case. For the time being, she’d need to rely on the miserable slop the hospital called cuisine, while she gathered her strength and slowly healed.

Knitting her brow, her tempter starting to flare, she stared at the closed door. “Nurse! I said I’m thirsty!” she barked. “Or I could use a guard - honestly, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to get me a drink!”

The steady beeping of her machine mingled with the ticking of a clock above her bed, as she waited fruitlessly for a reply. It would have been frustrating enough to be told she’d get service in a minute by one of the hospital staff, but there was no excuse why the soldier outside didn’t at least poke his head in to check in on her. While she wasn’t nearly as loud as she would be normally, her voice soft and raspy from being literally throttled by Luna, somepony should have heard her. Seconds passed, and her anger steadily mounted, but the door eventually swung open.

“Finally,” she groaned, rolling her eyes. “It took you long enou -”

The words died in her throat, her pupils shrank to pinpricks, and a cold pit formed in her stomach, as a tall, slender, alabaster figure casually trotted into her room. The snow-white coat and ethereal, pastel mane were unmistakable, instantly filling her with dread. There was no way - no possible way in Tartarus that it could be real, throwing her grasp of reality into question.

Her eyes flitted over to the myriad of medication beside her bed, wondering if she’d been improperly dosed with something or was suffering from some adverse reaction. The hospital was in the heart of her hive, surrounded by hundreds of changelings, so she had to be dealing with some sort of hallucination. She ignored the approaching figure, wriggling and doing her best to look away, but it was no use - she couldn’t flee even if she tried.

“I am so, so sorry,” Celestia murmured. “If I’d known that Luna would be so upset, I would have intervened.”

Chrysalis seethed, her blood boiling as the heart rate monitor furiously beeped beside her. The voice of her foe was as infuriating as it was confusing, leaving no room for doubt that Celestia had indeed paid her a visit. Her lips curled over her fangs, showing her impotent rage, while she glared up at the alicorn.

“What do you want?” she spat. “What is my…”

She trailed off, peering into the hallway and receiving an answer for her unasked question. Resting just outside the door, hogtied and gagged, squirmed her guard. Several nurses cowered beyond the bound soldier, fretfully watching the Princess. A part of her could understand her subjects’ reservations to intervene, seeing as how Luna had laid waste to her castle such a short time ago, although she was still beyond resentful for their cowardice.

A golden aura surrounded the door, pulling it closed and leaving her alone with her unwanted guest, which did little to improve the situation. “What do you want?” she coldly repeated.

Only giving the bedridden Queen the slightest regard, Celestia crossed to the windows and pulled up the blind. “I wanted to apologize for my sister’s actions.”

“Apologize?” Chrysalis scoffed. “Even for you, this is a pathetic charade. You’ve come to berate and torment me ~ haven’t you?”

“Nope,” the Princess coolly replied, drawing the curtains fully open.

Chrysalis squinted, her eyes tracking the pony with murderous intent. “Then perhaps you’ve come to finish me off…”

Stopping dead in her tracks, Celestia reared back askance. “I would never do such a thing! Do you think so little of me?”

“Considering what you did when you last came to my hive, yes,” the Queen weakly barked.

She wasn’t sure what sort of sadist the Princess was, but she hardly considered being teased and practically stuffed with love energy an amiable act - sure, she’d temporarily gained enough power to level Canterlot from the charitable visit, but she’d grown positively corpulent because of it. All the sorcerous might in Equestria didn’t mean a thing if she had to parade about in public whilst looking like an overfed hippopotamus! She watched the alicorn move to the foot of her bed, pick up her chart, and pour over its contents.

“That’s private,” she fumed.

“Goodness,” Celestia gasped, her eyes widening. “I’d heard you were a bit roughed up, but I’d had no way of knowing you were so severely injured!”

“Please ~” Chrysalis muttered, “I’ve had worse…”

She hadn’t - she really hadn’t. Until that point, the worst injuries she’d ever endured were a number of serious scrapes and bruises from her failed assault of Canterlot during Shining Armor and Princess Cadance’s wedding. It was a bit of a wonder that nopony had hunted her down and attempted to finish her off over the centuries - then again, as she’d always said, the ponies were far too forgiving for their own good.

Strolling up the bedside, Celestia peered up at the pulleys holding the Matriarch’s legs aloft. “I am going to speak to Luna about this.”

“Tell her to finish the job next time,” the Queen grunted, trying to sound menacing. “Once I’ve recovered, I’m going to - H…hey!”

“Relax,” Celestia calmly intoned, magically levitating Chrysalis’ body while fluffing her pillow, “I’m just trying to make you comfortable!”

Recalcitrantly renewing her efforts to break free from her casts, Chrysalis only managed to increase her discomfort. “I don’t need your pity, harridan! I have the finest medical staff in all Equestria tending to my every need!”

Again, another bold-faced lie. The only reason they had any physicians whatsoever is because they’d sent a very small number of drones to study medicine in Griffinstone, Mount Aris, and a fly-by-night school in Klugetown. While the healthcare professionals they had were certainly better than nothing, it was a marvel that the hive didn’t deal with medical crises on a regular basis.

Celestia quirked a brow and studied the disabled Queen for a moment. “I may have something that will help. Excuse me for a moment.”

Pop

With a blinding flash and rush of displaced air, the Princess was gone. As much as Chrysalis would like to be relieved, overjoyed that her loathsome visitor had left, she took no solace from the abhorrent alicorn’s absence. With great effort and no small amount of discomfort, she twisted her head and tried desperately to tap the call button on the wall above her headboard.

The tip of her horn graced the small red button, gliding over the plastic surface to tap against the drywall, when a second Pop caught her ear. She’d hoped the Princess would be gone for a few minutes, giving her at least enough time to laboriously summon assistance, but luck hadn’t been on her side. Looking over and turning her head, she swallowed hard - things had just gone from bad to unfathomably worse.

Adorned with a nurse’s outfit, replete with the requisite hat, stethoscope, and a little red cross patch on the bosom of her uniform, Celestia proudly smiled and wiggled her shoulders. “I hope somepony is ready for the best bedside treatment available!”

“Come on, darn it,” Chrysalis grumbled, renewing her efforts to hit the call button.

“Ah ah ah ~” the Princess tutted, calling on her sorcery and pulling the bed away from the wall, “wouldn’t want to bother those poor, overworked nurses!”

“Unhand my bed, you cretin!” Chrysalis impotently protested, tying and failing to use her magic. “You wouldn’t know the first thing about nursing a changeling back to health - for Pete’s sake, you’re not even a nurse!”

With a smug, knowing grin on her muzzle, Celestia reached into her blouse and produced a neatly folded slip of paper. “You’re right, I’m not a nurse - that said, I am a registered Physician’s Assistant with a specialty in changeling biology.”

“What in the…” Chrysalis fell silent, reading and rereading the degree that came to hover in front of her face. “Oh…”

Effectively crippled, with her best argument robbed from her, she was left without a leg to stand on - almost literally. There was nothing she could physically do to stop the alicorn, being so severely enfeebled, but that didn’t mean she was totally powerless. There were guards within the hive - guards who she’d beat half to death if they didn’t show up to rescue her, so all she had to do was buy herself some time.

She pursed her lips and brought her attention back to the Princess, her thoughts racing. “Any other academic achievements I’m unaware of?”

“A few,” Celestia smoothly responded, folding and slipping her degree into her garment, “but they’re nothing to brag about.”

“Indulge me,” she whispered.

Slipping the stethoscope into her ears, Celestia stepped to Chrysalis’ side and pressed the diaphragm to the Queen’s chest. “Well it started when I got my doctorate in Sorcery at the Academy of Magic, back when Star Swirl was the dean, but then I -”

“What are you doing?” Chrysalis growled, looking from the plastic gliding over her plaster-encased torso to the alicorn’s face.

“Checking your pulse, of course,” Celestia replied, sticking her tongue between her lips.

It was rare that the Princess would leave Chrysalis at a loss for words, but be darned if the idiotic act didn’t do just that. Not only would the stethoscope be unable to detect her heartbeat or respiration, but there was a perfectly functional heart monitor wired to her not three feet away! Closing her eyes and taking a long, deep breath, she fought to control her fraying nerves.

“I’m afraid the prognosis isn’t good,” Celestia solemnly intoned, withdrawing and hanging her head.

Grimacing up at the Princess, Chrysalis sneered. “You don’t say…”

Celestia wheeled around and strutted to the exit, giving a small wave as she reached the door. “I’ll be right back.”

“By all means,” the Queen mirthlessly huffed, “take as much time as you’d like…”

Darn Celestia - darn her and her infernally barbarous sister to the very bowels of Tartarus. If she’d even had a fraction of her power, she’d be able to fight or take flight - regrettably, given the extent of her injuries, she was barely strong enough to sip from a straw. Her eyes flitted over to the contemptible juice box, so close that she could practically taste it but so far away that it may as well have been on another continent, and gnashed her teeth. So help her, if it was the last thing she did, she would wreak vengeance on the gluttonous cake-eater if it was the last thing she…

“My Queen,” a stern voice intoned, snapping from her enraged stupor, “we sensed a disturbance.”

“About time you got here,” she blared, observing a trio of heavily armored praetorians come marching into her room. “You don’t have much time; Princess Celestia has come to -”

“Just what the doctor ordered,” Celestia merrily chirped, prancing in with a steaming bowl hovering just before herself. “Whoops - excuse me,” she continued, moving past the guards without a care in the world, “I have to tend to my patient.”

Chrysalis glanced from the stunned soldiers to the steadily approaching Princess, her unfettered rage beginning to boil over. “Do something!!!”

Slowing by the bed, maintaining her serene smile, Celestia turned and looked back at the cadre of troops. “Yes, please do something…”

Her statement and genial expression lay in stark contrast to the unimaginable power she wielded, giving both the drones and Chrysalis a moment for pause. They all remembered the alicorn’s last visit, when she’d sieged the hive’s keep like some unstoppable dreadnought, so attempting to stop her seemed like a particularly suicidal venture. Having eyed each of the praetorians in turn, she shifted her focus to the Queen.

“Actually,” Celestia hummed, lifting and blowing on a spoonful of chicken soup, “there is something you could do.”

The ranking officer flinched, practically shivering in his armor. “Y…yes?”

With her horn softly glowing, the Princess peeked over her shoulder at him. “Markers.”

He stood mute for but a moment. “Markers?”

“Markers -” Celestia repeated, bringing the spoon toward the Matriarch’s muzzle, “colorful ones preferably, although any would suffice.”

“I - uh -” the Captain faltered, looking between his Queen and the alicorn, “I’ll see what I can do.”

Chrysalis’ jaw hung open in disbelief, giving the Princess an opening. The utensil carrying the warm, noodle-laden broth slipped into her muzzle, nearly causing her to choke as she aspirated the soup. As her guards filed out of the room, leaving her to the insufferable pony’s clutches, she rebelliously squirmed when Celestia dabbed her chin.

“This would be much easier if you cooperated,” Celestia sighed, withdrawing the napkin.

Clamping her lips shut, refusing to accept another mouthful, Chrysalis attempted to turn away. It would have been demeaning enough to have the Princess come and tease her, making light of her injuries in front of her cowardly, completely worthless subjects, but being treated in such a kindly way was somehow worse. The age old adage regarding killing one’s foes with kindness rang true, gradually chipping away at what little fight was left in her.

The alicorn lowered the bowl, a concerned look settling on her face. “Not hungry?”

“No, I'm not hungry!” Chrysalis griped. Either she’d unintentionally glanced to the box of juice or Celestia’s intuition kicked in - whatever the case, the Princess looked over to the beverage.

“Thirsty?” the alicorn asked, replacing the boxed drink with the bowl of soup.

“No!” the Queen testily answered, her eyes never leaving the drink hovering just to her side. “Maybe…”

“Here,” Celestia breathed, magically turning the straw and bringing the box to her lips. “You know, you don’t have to be so grumpy. For starters, I had nothing to do with your current condition - secondly, it’s well documented that having a positive outlook can improve one’s condition whilst in a hospital.”

Chrysalis hungrily gulped down the juice, relishing the sweet drink for a moment, until she emptied the container. “Don’t condescend to me!”

An impish smile flashed across Celestia’s eyes. “Oh that wasn’t condescension. If you’d like, I can show you -”

“Ma’am,” a sonorous voice called, bringing the Princess’ and Queen’s attention to the doorway, “I found some markers.”

With a flick of her horn, discarding the juice box into a nearby trash bin, Celestia wheeled around and moved to the exit. “Thank you so much, Mister…?”

As the Princess sorcerously plucked the markers from his forehoof, the Captain averted his gaze. “Pharynx, Ma’am - Captain Pharynx.”

“Well I certainly appreciate it, my good Captain,” the alicorn giggled, clapping a hoof to his armored shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll do everything I can for your beloved Queen.”

If looks could kill, the irate stare Chrysalis affixed Pharynx with would have left him dead - nevertheless, she bit her tongue. Having a tantrum and causing a scene would accomplish nothing, but she would definitely chastise the officer once she’d recuperated. Hoping to spare what little pride she had left, she drew a breath.

“Thank you, Pharynx, you are dismissed,” she quietly stated, her words dripping with venom.

He did as instructed, giving her a crisp salute before stepping out and pulling the door closed behind himself. Left with the royal mockery of a nurse, she peered over at the Princess. There was perilously little she could actually do, but she didn’t need the hive to know that. Since she and Celestia were the only ones in the room, she should be able to fabricate a grand story to placate the hive and make herself out to be a grand -

Squeak Squeak Squeak

The sudden noise brought her attention down her frame. Though Celestia hadn’t budged an inch, she’d levitated the sextet of colorful markers over and began drawing on the casts covering her body. Simultaneously incensed and impressed with the artistic display, genuinely awed that the alicorn could execute several drawings in tandem, she clamped her eyes shut. Perfect - just wonderful - not only would she be stuck in the bed for another few weeks, but she’d be decorated in unflattering, offensively cheerful doodles for the duration of her hospital stay.

“Must you?” she moaned, unable to stop the Princess from scrawling a black, porous heart over her plaster-clad bosom.

Celestia gave a small nod as she scribbled a veritable pantheon of smiling, cheerful ponies on her ungrateful host. “Isn’t this much better? You know they say certain colors can help with healing!”

With a petulant huff, Chrysalis prayed the illustrations could be cleaned off. “This must bring you such joy - to come and lord over my broken body with absolute impunity.”

The Princess stepped back and inspected her work, capping the markers before setting them on the bedside table. “I actually did come to check on you - in fact, I’m not the only one who was worried when Luna explained what she’d done.”

Chrysalis’ eyes narrowed. “Explain…”

“Well it’s just - shoot,” Celestia quietly cursed, patting her flank and looking back at herself. “One moment…”

With yet another flash, the alicorn was gone. Would these torments never end? Would she suffer through harassment for the rest of her day - or worse, the remainder of her time in the hospital? Swearing silent revenge on her enemies and the indignities they put her through, she was rejoined by her guest in a matter of seconds - unfortunately, the Princess didn’t return with empty hooves.

A plethora of balloons floated up and bobbed against the ceiling, while Celestia hovered and placed assortments of flowers about the room. “You may not realize it, but there are several kindhearted ponies who are worried about you.”

“Lies…” Chrysalis hissed.

Celestia shook her head, setting a particularly large card just by the bed. “It’s true! While a great many ponies may not be too fond of you, most would admit that Luna’s actions were a bit excessive.”

“Tell me about it,” the Queen lamented, shivering at the thought of the umbral alicorn. “Well tell them not to be too concerned; it won’t be long until I bring them to heel and feed on their - Stop that!”

Without the slightest bit of prompting, Celestia had begun peppering her lower limbs with kisses; in and of itself, the development would have been embarrassing and completely unbecoming of one’s archenemy, yet the act was genuine. She could feel the care and concern flowing through the air, breathing life into the flames of her power, and the sensation was both electrifying and exasperating. As the Princess withdrew and locked eyes with her, she bared her fangs.

“Shall I stop?” Celestia inquired.

“I…” Chrysalis quickly silenced herself, genuinely unsure of what to do.

On one hoof, the flow of energy would expedite her recovery by leaps and bounds, reducing her time in traction by weeks - on the other, living with the knowledge that she’d knowingly and willingly accepted assistance from a pony simply didn’t sit right with her. Caught at an impasse, warring with her thoughts, she shivered when the alicorn leaned in and pecked the cast over her abdomen. She was many things, but she was no fool.

“J…just,” she uneasily began, nervously glancing over at the closed doorway. “Just don’t tell anypony about this…”

Stopping and rising to her full height, Celestia pressed a forehoof to her chest. “I Pinkie promise.”

Cursing herself, Chrysalis sat mute and allowed the alicorn to finish treating her. The process was short lived, taking no more than a hoofful of minutes, but the effects were profound. Beneath the plaster encasing her, her chitin knit, her bruised muscles regained their strength, and her horn flared with power. A low, ominous chuckle escaped her lips, building to a raucous, evil laugh, as her eyes went alight with harlequin fire.

“You’ll regret coming here, Celestia!” she cackled, exploding out of her casts in spectacular fashion. “Now that you’re here, I’ll show you what -”

Mmmmwah

She blinked, her mind going entirely blank, as a pair of soft, pouting lips withdrew from her cheek. Celestia smirked over at her, winked, and gave a nod, only acknowledging the kiss in the slightest way, before she teleported away. Standing in the center of the room, surrounded by decorations and blasted bits of plaster, she blushed.

“Q…Queen Chrysalis,” a feminine voice called out, followed by knocking on her door, “is everything alright?”

“I - Ahem - yes, everything is fine,” she shot back, calling upon her magic and opening the door. A timid nurse lurked just outside, stumbling back as she trotted out and into the hallway. “I have dealt with our unwanted guest - no thanks to my guards.”

She only made it a few feet out of the room before she stopped in her tracks, turned around, and reversed course. Nopony would dare question what happened, giving her complete control to weave whatever narrative she wanted, but that gave her little consolement. She knew she’d been humbled, savagely beaten by one Princess then revived by another, and she’d have to live with that for the rest of her days. Stopping beside her bed, she looked down at the card.

Get well soon

xoxo
Celestia

Taking the card, she told herself that the memento would be worth a fortune, hoofwritten by the oldest and most powerful alicorn in all the land, yet that was only partially true. As loathe as she was to admit it, a pony had done her a favor - a favor which, while irksome and shameful, demanded eventual repayment, but that could wait until she’d gotten her revenge. Though she would avoid crossing Luna in the future, she had plans for Celestia - big plans…