Ponyville's streets were calm and perhaps a bit empty. The air had cooled as day turned to dusk, shadows created by the almost-set sun at their longest right before they would disappear altogether. And instead of being in Canterlot to watch Celestia and Luna move their respective celestial bodies one more time before having to take over the duty herself, Twilight stood in front of her castle in Ponyville, not looking up to see the sun set or the moon rise - her gaze was focused on her home. Her old home.
She had never really taken a moment to examine it from the outside. Why would she? It was a shiny, tall castle with lots of windows and lots of branches. And visually, it was not all that appealing. It stood, completely out of place in such a cozy, rustic town such as Ponyville. In her opinion, anyways. Yet tonight - the last night she would sleep here for a very long time, if not forever - she decided to really look at it. The gleaming crystal. The golden spires and balcony. The grandiose stairs leading up to the entrance.
Her stomach churned, momentarily. Why did she feel so uneasy? Looking at the castle made her feel..... weird. She had to actually acknowledge how different it was from her old library in every way; had to acknowledge how very other it was compared to all the rest of Ponyville. Not even Carousel Boutique was so luxurious. Twilight had mourned the loss of her library and reconciled having to have the castle as her new home long ago - but she was feeling some level of resentment all over again. That was strange.
Her eyes swept over its form. Unnatural. It had replaced the tree, something organic, decades old if not older. And crystal was organic too, she supposed - but different. 'More valuable,' for some reason. More regal. Harder to destroy. The tree had been eviscerated, and the crystal had blossomed forth, no matter if it was wanted or not - no matter what it meant for her future.
Her wings fluttered at her side.
No. She shouldn't feel like that. The castle had treated her and her friends well - perhaps literally, if one kept the Cutie Map in mind. She had memories there. She had laughed and cried and everything in-between within its crystalline chambers. She had created warmth where there was none. It was just as much of a home as the Golden Oak library had been. Yet... she felt the comfiest in the map room. With the chandelier made of tree-roots above her head. The chandelier...
"Ah, hello, Twilight! So nice to see you!" A familiar voice brought Twilight out of her head.
Twilights lips pursed. Yes, it had to be her. Her head swiveled to meet the eyes of a blue unicorn mare. "Hello, Trixie." She said flatly.
"Hello, Twilight." Trixie repeated. "Why, whatever has soured your mood?" She tossed her mane. "Such moroseness is not befitting Equestria's most recently crowned princess!"
Twilight blinked. She guessed she had sounded rather sullen - even going by the standards of a conversation with Trixie. "I-" She shook her head. "You're right. Sorry, I've got a lot on my mind." Her gaze returned to her castle.
Trixie seemed taken aback by her response. "Oh - well, Trixie understands. You must have a lot going on." She traced Twilight's stare to the castle and a smirk formed on her face. "Wondering if the castle will feel lonely without you? I think it will be just fine. You know," She crept slightly closer to Twilight. "Trixie has always wanted to know what it's like to live in a castle-"
"Trixie," Twilight interrupted, "I'm not giving you my castle."
"Well," Trixie began, placing an offended hoof on her chest, "It's a good thing that Trixie was not asking, then." Her tone softened. "Starlight will do a fine job taking care of it, I am sure."
"Mhm," Was the only response she got.
Silence reigned for a minute, Trixie casting uneasy glances between the castle and Twilight, the latter of which was more or less outright glaring at the former. It was strange, to see a look of such malcontent aimed at a building, so Trixie said, "Wasn't tonight your last night in Ponyville? Starlight told Trixie the coronation wasn't too terrible after all, but Trixie is not so sure she believes her. You didn't get fired, did you?"
"No! No, Trixie, nothing like that. It's just..." Twilight could not believe she was about to have this conversation with Trixie, of all ponies, but she supposed even a brick wall (not a crystal wall, though) would work to voice her thoughts to. She had always worked best musing aloud to Spike or one of the girls - and Trixie, albeit not the best stand-in, was not the worst, either. So she continued, bluntly, "I don't like this castle."
"You don't like this castle?" Trixie’s brows furrowed and she leveled Twilight with an uncertain look. "You're getting a new one, anyways. Some ponies have only wagons to live in. Perhaps you should be more grateful."
It was exactly the response Twilight had been expecting, but she did not let it deter her. She was following her train of thought and she would not stop now. "I am grateful! Really, I am. If anything, though," Her wings - traitorous wings - flittered again, restless at her sides. "If anything, I wish I had less. You can look at the castle and know the pony that lives there is important. That they must have a lot of responsibilities. That they're supposed to be..." She spit out the next word, "'better' than the average pony or whatever. Held to a higher standard." Her words were speeding up, now. "Because the castle itself is fancy and tacky and looks like the most valuable thing this side of Canterlot. But sometimes I wish it was just the Golden Oak library again.
"I wish I was still sitting at my desk writing friendship lesson letters to Princess Celestia, or watching Spike reshelve a dozen books I dragged out researching whatever project caught my eye last, or stressing over something small and ultimately meaningless rather than something with the potential to affect every last pony in Equestria." She exhaled. She lowered her gaze, tucking it in to stare at the ground near her hooves - away from the castle. "Sometimes I wish I was still some silly neurotic librarian learning how to be a good friend. And with everything going on, I feel bad for even feeling that way."
Trixie thought for a moment. "Trixie has come to a conclusion: this is not really about the castle." She raised her eyebrows and leaned in towards Twilight as if she was expecting praise for her masterful deduction - but when Twilight merely looked at her and offered nothing as such, she continued, "In truth, she thinks you are worrying yourself over it too much."
Twilight snorted. "That's easy for you to say-"
"No, no it is not! Or, well," Her hoof scuffed against the ground, "Maybe it is, but it doesn't make it any less true. In times of great change," Her voice rose, as if she was about to impart some great wisdom, "We seek comfort the most. The old and familiar. The nostalgic. Trixie thinks you will spend the rest of the night thinking about what is changing, go to bed stewing over what is lost, and wake up thankful for the opportunities you have had and happy that things are not any other way."
Twilight cast a sidelong glance at the unicorn beside her. "I know."
Trixie nodded. "I know you know. But another one of Trixie's great wisdoms is that some things bear repeating." Her smug grin almost made Twilight laugh - maybe this had worked to lift her spirits a little. "Even princesses are still ponies and still prone to bouts of uncertainty."
She didn't have much to say to that. She knew it was true. And now, looking at the castle doors didn't make her heart twinge like it had minutes prior. "Thanks, Trixie."
"Don't mention it. Trixie simply could not bear to see somepony giving that castle such a frightful look." She leaned in towards Twilight. "It is very pretty... you know, it has a lot of rooms and Starlight is just one pony. Maybe she would like a great and powerful roommate?" Her eyes shone.
Twilight groaned. "Take it up with her."
Author's Note
challenged myself to speedwrite and forced myself to publish it for a first story 
Livin the dream you guys
