The Crazed Axe Murderer of Pony Canada: Pinkie Pie's Terrifying Tales: Sunny Starscout's Terrifying Tales
A cold wind swept through Maretime Bay. The festivities of Nightmare Night had ended, leaving the streets empty of living souls, except for the shadows. Most were surely caused by decorations flapping in the wind, but every once in a while, one could see out of the corner of their eye something that didn’t quite seem to make sense. The kind of shadow that was never there when you turned to look.
This time of year, even the Crystal Brighthouse formed a foreboding silhouette against the starry sky. And it was there that one of the oldest pony traditions continued: the Nightmare Night story. Granted, it was a tradition that had some hiccups. Sunny Starscout’s father was, to her knowledge, the only one in Maretime Bay who liked to tell little colts and fillies scary stories from the past, and when she tried to continue his legacy, it was tough to get any interest.
Given that, it warmed Sunny’s heart to see so many foals gathered before her. And of all three pony races, at that! She really had to thank Pipp again for streaming about it.
Sitting up front, an earth pony filly named Seashell waved her hoof. “Sunny, can you start already!”
Sunny giggled. “My, aren’t you excited.”
Seashell’s friend, a unicorn filly named Peach Fizz, clarified. “We want to hear Pipp’s story, but she said we have to hear yours first!”
Glory, a pegasus filly who was friends to both of them, said, “Yeah, we want Pipp!”
The crowd grumbled in agreement, with some scattered, “Pipp Pipp Hooray!”s.
Sunny sighed. She flipped her father’s storybook to the correct page. It wasn’t enough to just enthrall the foals with her story. She also wanted to be educational. And for that, she needed a story from the distant past.
“The story you’re about to hear is one recorded from one of the Guardians of Harmony herself.” Sunny paused, seeing that the foals had all quieted down. Perhaps she had more authority over them than she realized. Slowly moving her hoof to the side, she continued, “It starts on a Nightmare Night very similar to this one…”
Nightmare Night arrived in Ponyville once again, and three fillies found themselves before the merchant of nightmarish tales, Pinkie Pie. Shadows cast on her face, she declared, “Welcome, my adorable friends! In today’s tale, I’ll tell you about the time I baked a pie and—”
“Pinkie!” yelled Sweetie Belle, excitedly waving her hooves. “No more baked goods!”
“And yes, Rarity told the same mannequin story again!” Scootaloo angrily declared.
Getting up on her haunches, Sweetie raised her front legs up and said, “I want a story with blood! Gore! Death!”
Calmer than the others but still fairly agitated, Apple Bloom said, “Yeah Pinkie, like none of your stories so far actually had anyone get hurt for real. That cake was just feeding people, and even Applejack getting her head cut off wasn’t a big deal. It’ll probably be for your own good if you have a more gruesome-like story.”
Pinkie raised an eyebrow. “For my own good?”
Apple Bloom cringed and motioned her head toward Sweetie Belle, who was waving her hooves wildly.
Pinkie stuck her tongue out. “Ohh, gotcha. I actually do have the perfect story for you! It’s called… The Crazed Axe Murderer of Pony Canada!”
Sweetie immediately shifted back to her normal sweet squeaky self. “Oh, that sounds good!”
Apple Bloom scrunched her face. “Wait, Pony Canada? You mean like Vanhoover?”
Pinkie smiled. “No, silly, I mean Pony Canada! It’s a big wonderful little frozen wasteland filled with wonderful creatures full of wonder! Exactly the sort of place Fluttershy would beg to take the students of the School of Friendship on a field trip to!”
Scootaloo waved her hoof. “Wait, is this something that actually happened, or is it one of your alternate dimensions?”
Pinkie playfully rolled her eyes. “Of course it actually happened… in an alternate dimension! And it could happen here too, if we aren’t careful! But I’m getting ahead of myself. Here’s what happened when the School of Friendship went to Pony Canada, land of the Crazed Axe Murderer…”
“So,” Sunny said as she broke from the story. “I just want to mention that this story-within-a-story format was common back then, along with real figures appearing in fictional stories. Another example of this is how the old Daring Do legends prominently featured Rainbow Dash, even though we know Daring Do herself is a completely fictional character that never existed. And about Pony Canada, while we can find references to Vanhoover elsewhere, that isn’t the case for Pony Canada. The name itself is quite unusual, as we have no clue as to what a Canada is, let alone why Pinkie would specify that it’s Pony Canada. Apple Bloom’s reaction indicates that this is indeed a fictional location, or at least a very obscure one, but we can’t use that to rule out that it ever existed. In fact, some ponies have made it their life’s mission to find Pony Canada and…”
Sunny could sense the eyelids of the foals before her closing.
She held her book up again. “Anyway, we start Pinkie’s story of the Crazed Axe Murderer of Pony Canada…”
The Frozen North.
Considered by many to be a wasteland not conducive to pony habitation, it was in fact full of life if one dared to venture into the cold.
In the light of the setting summer sun, a group of creatures hiked through the snow.
Fluttershy stopped to take a deep breath, and then released it contentedly. “And here we are, students. Behold, the wonder of nature!”
Three students followed behind her. Silverstream the hippogriff wore a thick coat—albeit with wing holes—and excitedly took pictures of the snow with a portable camera. Ocellus the changeling shivered under her many layers of scarves. Yona the yak, however, chose not to wear anything, protected by her thick fur. She was tasked with carrying everyone’s luggage on a sled behind her, and the weight was hefty indeed, though she was up to the task.
Also with them were teachers Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Starlight Glimmer, and Trixie. All wore coated saddles, hats, and scarves.
Rainbow hovered in the air. “OK, this is nice and all, but why did all of us come here?”
Starlight sighed. “I really thought more students would sign up.”
Trixie shivered as she rolled her eyes. “Even with the ‘teacher of the month’ leading this, I wouldn’t want to go to this nightmare realm unless I was forced to. Which Trixie was, to be clear.”
Fluttershy giggled. “Oh, this might seem rough for us ponies, but take a look at all the animals before us!”
Pointing ahead, everycreature could indeed see several figures ahead: tall ones munching on the bits of grass poking through the snow, and small ones waddling along in groups.
Through chattering teeth, Trixie said, “Well, I see a bunch of deers, but we could see those at home.”
Starlight shook her head. “Trixie, the plural of deer is deer.”
Fluttershy jumped between them. “Actually, Trixie is right in this case! Those aren’t regular deer, but rather they’re dears! D-E-A-R-S!”
At this, one of the dears approached, and at this proximity, they could see that not only did it have a shining coat and intricate antlers, but it was also wearing a fancy bowtie.
Rarity gasped, holding her hoof to her chest. “Remarkable! These dears really are just darling!”
Fluttershy giggled. “No, those aren’t darlings, those are darlings!”
Rarity gasped as a group of three ducks touched down near them. The dears galloped away, as though leaving the stage for the next performers. The unicorn watched in excitement as the darlings shook their white wings and pulled out large and unique hats from under them, which they daintily placed on their heads so as to not mess up their purple hair feathers. When they gave a musical quack, Rarity giggled in excitement and pranced in place. “Such style! Such glamor! Truly these are the definition of darling!”
Fluttershy smiled. “I knew you’d enjoy it.”
Silverstream took a picture of the darlings, and when they posed, Rarity nearly fainted.
Trixie scoffed. “Big deal, Trixie wears her hat better than anycreature could.”
As Silverstream continued taking pictures, more darlings approached, until there were seven total, each with its own fashion.
“It is pretty remarkable that they all look like Professor Rarity,” said Ocellus. “Perhaps all definitions of style eventually converge on her.”
Yona shrugged. “Not yak style.”
“Alright, we’ll have time to look at the animals later,” said Starlight. “Right now, we should get all of our things into the cabin.”
Rarity drew her eyes away from the darlings at last. “Yona, please be gentle when you put my things in our—” The unicorn turned to where Starlight indicated and found a large wooden cabin in the middle of the snow field, with a dingy outhouse right outside, “—accommodations. Starlight, dear, are we seriously staying there?”
Ocellus pulled out a book and leafed through it. “I actually have to agree with Professor Rarity here. Staying at an abandoned cabin in the middle of nowhere seems risky. See, this story here shows we can often encounter crazed axe murderers in them.” She presented the open book to Starlight.
Starlight scoffed. “I set it all up yesterday. It’s hardly abandoned.”
Trixie waved her hoof. “Ah, but that means it’s been abandoned since yesterday!”
“That isn’t how it works, Trixie!” Starlight replied with her hoof to her forehead. “Look, I completely cleaned the cabin yesterday, and Applejack even helped me install an indoor bathroom, so Rarity, you don’t have to use the outhouse.”
Applejack nodded. “Personally, I’d have preferred teaching the kids how to rough it, but Starlight insisted.”
“See, Applejack was with me, so we know there isn’t anything to worry about. Now come on, let’s head in.”
The group walked toward the cabin, but Applejack looked around in frustration. “Hold on. Anycreature seen Rainbow Dash?”
“Oh, not since she asked why we were here,” replied Fluttershy. When a darling stopped next to her, she pet it. “Do you think she went off somewhere?”
Applejack groaned. “She better not have. It’s getting dark and she’ll freeze out here.”
“Yona found her!” the yak called out. “Or at least, found something.”
“Well which is it?” Applejack replied. “What do you see?”
“Well, uh,” she said, looking back with a sweat. “Maybe teachers should see themselves.”
Everyone gathered to Yona’s side, and they all gasped.
The snow around it was red, with a still-warm liquid pooling underneath it, drenching its rainbow mane. Its eyes were wide and it had a sideways expression of frozen shock.
It was Rainbow Dash’s head, rolled onto its cheek, with bone and flesh visible in its base.
After a moment to register this, the students and a fair number of the teachers screamed. Then Silverstream took a picture.
“Wow, Rainbow Dash is dead already, huh?” asked Apple Bloom. “Scootaloo, you OK with this?”
“Huh?” the pegasus filly replied. “Oh, yeah, I’m sad Rainbow is dead, but you know, makes sense the axe murderer would kill the coolest one first. Plus, there were way too many characters, so it’s good that some are dying now.”
“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle followed up. “There was Rainbow, Rarity, Fluttershy, Starlight, Trixie, Applejack, Pinkie, Yona, Ocellus, Silverstream, probably others I’m forgetting.”
“Oh that’s all of them, but you made a tiny mistake,” Pinkie replied. “You listed me, and I’m not in the story!”
The Cutie Mark Crusaders all looked at each other, and said in unison, “Oh, so you’re the axe murderer.”
Pinkie blinked. “What? No, why would you think that?”
“It’s obvious, ain’t it?” said Apple Bloom. “All your friends are there but not you? Seems really sus to me.”
“But Twilight isn’t there either,” Pinkie replied.
“Well Twilight wouldn’t be an axe murderer,” Scootaloo replied. “She’s more a mad scientist type.”
Pinkie shrugged. “Well, I can’t argue with that. Let’s continue the story and you’ll see it definitely isn’t me.”
“Sure, Pinkie,” the Crusaders said together sarcastically.
Pinkie waved her hooves. “Anyway! The ponies, yak, changeling, hippogriff, and darlings find a gruesome sight before them, but Trixie isn’t so sure…”
Trixie scoffed. “Oh please, you’re telling Trixie that all of you fell for this? You all talk about axe murders in Pony Canada of all places, and then Rainbow Dash’s head conveniently pops up here.”
Shaking, Fluttershy replied, “You’re saying this is a prank?”
“It does make sense,” Rarity replied. “This is the same Rainbow Dash that vomited cake batter on everycreature that one Nightmare Night—not including me, of course. There’s nothing she won’t do for a prank. Actually, Ocellus dear, tell us about that book you’re reading. What’s it called?”
Ocellus warily held up her book. “It’s, uh, Daring Do and the Various Axe Murderers of Abandoned Cabins.”
“Aha!” Rarity declared. “Daring Do! Of course Rainbow would know about that!”
Trixie gasped. “And if she knew you were reading that, she could have set all this up!” She raised a hoof triumphantly. “Detective Trixie solves another case!”
Rarity narrowed her eyes. “Darling.”
She got a quack in reply.
Starlight groaned while gritting her teeth. “This is ridiculous! Rainbow should know better than to frighten us like this. Let’s split up to go find her. Trixie, Applejack, Rarity, you go help the students set up in the cabin. Fluttershy and I will look for Rainbow.”
Fluttershy squeaked. “Why—oh right, wings. Oh Rainbow, I hope you’re alright.”
“She won’t be once we find her,” Starlight said with a grimace.
“Principal Glimmer, Yona thinks we should look too!” the yak called out, taking off the sled’s harness. “Better if more creatures look.”
“I’ll go too!” said Silverstream. “Ocellus, you come too, since both of us can fly.”
“Better let them,” said Applejack. “You know how determined they can get.”
Starlight rolled her eyes. “Fine, but thirty minutes at most. And stay where the teachers can see you.”
With that, everyone split up.
Night approached quickly, and by the time the search party reconvened, there was just a sliver of light above the horizon.
Fluttershy flew down to the students and other teachers. “None of you found her?”
Applejack shook her head. “‘Fraid not. If you didn’t find her either, then she’s in some real danger.”
“Or, she snuck into the cabin when we weren’t looking,” Trixie said smugly. “Honestly, I can’t believe none of you thought to have someone stay there to catch her.”
“I didn’t hear you suggest it before,” Rarity snapped back.
When Trixie glared back at her, Fluttershy intervened with waving hooves. “Everyone, let’s calm down. No need to ruin our excursion into nature. Let’s just look at the beautiful sunset.”
The creatures all sat and took a moment to look at the horizon, with all its myriad colors.
“Speaking of Sunset,” said Trixie, “where is Glimglam anyway?”
Fluttershy blinked and looked back over the group. “Oh, I didn’t even notice. Maybe she found Rainbow and is taking a while to bring her back?”
Silverstream hummed and looked around, then suddenly laughed and snapped a picture. “Found her! She buried herself into the snow to look for Professor Dash! I didn’t think our principal would do something so silly!”
Fluttershy’s face fell. “Buried herself in snow?”
“Yeah, like when you bury yourself in sand on the beach. You can only see her head!”
Fluttershy shot up. “Well, it’s about time we got inside, don’t you all think? Come on, let’s hurry!”
Rarity blinked. “But darling, what about Starlight?” She got a quack in response.
“Starlight’s a big filly, she can handle herself!” Fluttershy said much louder than she intended. “Now come on, move, move, move!”
Startled, everyone complied and moved toward the cabin. Yona veered off and Fluttershy flew in front of her. “Yona, go to the cabin!”
Yona tilted her head. “But all our luggage is on the sled.”
“We can get it tomorrow!” Fluttershy then went behind Yona and pushed her to no avail.
“Well, if teacher say so,” Yona said, with a confused look on her face. She then walked to the door.
Once everyone had gathered in front of the cabin, Fluttershy nearly knocked the door off its hinges as she kicked it open. “Everycreature, inside now!”
Not wishing to argue, the entire group filed into the dark building. First Silverstream, then Rarity, then Yona, then Applejack, then Trixie, then Ocellus. Then for good measure, Fluttershy flew back and shoved in a group of darlings before slamming the door behind her.
“At this point, I just want you little fillies and colts to think about all the different races sitting in that room together,” Sunny said wistfully. “An earth pony, unicorns, a pegasus, and even species we don’t see around today: a hippogriff, yak, and changeling! Oh what I’d give to be there with them. Well, hopefully without all the murders.”
One colt raised his roof and Sunny nodded at him. He asked, “What’s a hippogriff? Is it like a hippo?”
Sunny shook her head. “No, but I can see why you made that mistake. Supposedly the Guardians of Harmony got confused the same way. In fact, they’re part pony, part bird.”
“Isn’t that just a pegasus pony?” asked Glory as she flapped her wings in demonstration.
“Nope, hippogriffs were shaped like ponies, but they had talons on their front legs and had beaks.”
“Oh, so like a pony and a bird (bleep)ed?” asked Seashell.
Sunny and indeed the entire room gasped, with some foals going, “Ooo.”
Her eyes wide and breathing quickly, Sunny said in her best attempt at a calm voice, “My goodness Seashell! Where did you learn that language?”
The picture of innocence, Seashell said, “Pipp said it in one of her streams once before taking it down, but I saw it, and then I looked it up online.”
Sunny gritted her teeth. Pipp.
Peach Fizz leaned toward Seashell in excitement. “You looked it up? What does it mean?”
Now finding herself the center of attention, Seashell’s face was full of smug self-confidence. “It means—”
“Well that’s enough of that!” Sunny said, reaching forward. “That isn’t, uh, something to talk about in polite company. Anyway, we still have to learn about the axe murderer! The story continues as such…”
The inside of the cabin was warm but dark, with only the faintest bits of light filtering in from the windows. This was enough for the students and teachers to just barely sense each other’s presence, but it was impossible to get a real sense of the room.
“Could someone please hit the light switch?” Rarity asked. “I can’t tell head from tail in here.”
“Don’t worry, I know where it is,” Applejack replied. “Though, uh, not quite sure where I am.”
“While you’re doing that, could you please lock the door?” said Fluttershy, her voice losing much of its previous urgency. “I forgot to do that when coming in.”
Applejack grunted. “Oh yeah, I was meaning to ask about that. So Starlight gave you a key too?”
Fluttershy hummed. “What do you mean?”
“Well I mean, I’m pretty dang sure I locked up when I came here before. And it’s a strong lock too. So it was a mighty big surprise you just kicked it open like that. You unlocked the door, right?”
Fluttershy shivered. “It—it was supposed to be locked?”
“Well if you didn’t lock it, I guess Starlight must’ve. Oh, found the light switch.”
“Applejack, wait, don’t!” Fluttershy shouted.
“Huh? Why not?”
Fluttershy paused. “Uh, I’d rather not say.”
Applejack’s voice gained an edge of frustration. “So what, do you plan on having us sit around all night in the dark?”
There was another pause, followed by a meek, “Maybe.”
“That sounds amazing!” declared Silverstream. “Let’s party it up in the darkness! Professor Dash won’t be able to stay hidden for long if she knows we’re raising the roof!”
“Darling, you’ll trip and break your beak!” Rarity said. A quack came from nearby.
“Over a dead body,” Fluttershy added under her breath.
Applejack groaned. “I’m turning it on!”
The room lit up, making Fluttershy screech and cover her eyes. “Please, no one tell me what’s in here, I don’t want to know!”
Applejack laughed. “Well what do you know, exactly how I left it.”
Fluttershy slowly peeked between her hooves, then hesitantly stood up straight. “Oh.”
They were in a lounge area just big enough for all seven of them (plus six darlings) to walk around in without bumping into each other. The walls and floor were all wood. To the left was a rug, a couch, and a door. To the right was a fireplace with chairs on either side. In the center was an open hallway that, from the entrance, they could see led into a kitchen. Scattered throughout the lounge were tables and cabinets.
Silverstream snapped a picture.
Trixie rolled her eyes. “Well, so much for whatever all that was. If you don’t mind, Trixie will go get Starlight now.”
Fluttershy dashed in front of the door. “I do mind, Trixie! It may not be so bad here, but none of us can go out there! It’s dangerous!”
Rarity lifted her hoof to her chest. “Good heavens, Fluttershy! Don’t tell me you really think there’s somecreature of an axe murdering sort out there!”
The pegasus nodded defiantly. “I do think that, and I think they got Starlight!”
“Oh come on, Fluttershy,” Trixie said with a huff, “first of all, there’s no such thing as axe murderers.”
Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Well I wouldn’t go that far.”
Trixie continued, “Second of all, do you really think somecreature with an axe could take out Glimglam? It’s an eldritch spell gone wrong or bust!”
Now this got Fluttershy to sag a little. “I admit, it is hard to imagine, but if they caught her by surprise…” She regained her stance as she pressed against the door. “Still, none of us are leaving!”
As Fluttershy, Rarity, and Trixie continued bickering, Applejack turned to the students. “Well, while we’re sorting all this out, why don’t y’all check out the bedroom?”
Ocellus and Yona looked around warily, but Silverstream smiled obliviously. “Of course, Professor! Come on, let’s go!” the hippogriff said as she blithely pulled the other students.
Somehow she managed to pull both of them into the hallway, but then Ocellus slipped away. “You two go ahead, I want to look around here some more.”
Silverstream let go and shrugged. “Suit yourself. Yona, while the teachers are distracted, there’s something I wanted to try with you.”
Yona blinked, now distracted from Fluttershy’s fears. “Oh, sure.”
Silverstream and Yona went into the bedroom on the left side of the hallway, and Ocellus only had a second to see inside before they slammed the door shut.
The changeling glanced back into the lounge, where Fluttershy still adamantly blocked the exit while the other teachers argued with her. Meanwhile, the darling ducks she brought with her waddled absentmindedly near an unlit fireplace, uncaring of all the loud noises.
Ocellus turned back to the hallway. Opposite of the bedroom was a kitchen with a counter, a sink, and even a refrigerator. She supposed Professor Applejack and Principal Glimmer filled it with food earlier, but she didn’t feel like eating at the moment. A window above the sink showed that it was already dark. Not even a yak could stay out there for long. She hoped the missing ponies were alright, but she was still a child of Queen Chrysalis’s reign, and she knew to consider the worst case scenario.
Rainbow and Starlight were dead. They were murdered. And whatever killed them could kill them too.
Ocellus’s wings stiffened in alert. Something in the air was off, telling her that this cabin wasn’t safe, but she couldn’t tell exactly what. If this were a changeling hive under Pharynx’s command, this feeling would be cause enough to burn the place down, but she knew this would be a tough sell to the others. Plus, it had to be safer than outside. Right?
The changeling walked down the hallway, reaching the back exit. She peeked out the window, seeing nothing but white snow and a black sky. She tested the doorknob, finding it locked but rather fragile. She frowned, looked around, then headed back to the kitchen. Seeing that the teachers were still arguing, she yanked the refrigerator out from its nook with a grunt, unplugged it, and then, with a shove of her head, slid it against the door.
There was another door in the hallway just past the kitchen. Opening it, Ocellus found a room with a bookshelf, a single couch chair, and a desk with a small machine—a tape recorder. This must be a study.
Ocellus sat gently in the chair and examined the desk more closely. There was a tape inside the device. Did Starlight leave this? Maybe there was something on it that could tell them what was going on. She needed to get as much information as possible before she alerted everyone to the danger they were in. After rewinding to the start, she pressed play.
The tape buzzed, then quickly settled into a clear ambient sound. Then to Ocellus’s surprise, a male voice spoke.
“This is Professor Knowledge Quill. Date of recording, June twenty-second, twenty twenty three. Five o’clock PM. In my wanderings through the wastes of Pony Canada, I have discovered this abandoned cabin. It is well stocked and should suffice for my research.”
Ocellus scrunched her brows. Who was this? His voice had the same quality as Princess Twilight when she was discussing one of her research papers, except with twice the smug self-confidence. Also, wasn’t that yesterday? The same day that Starlight and Applejack set up the cabin? It really doesn’t take long for a cabin to become abandoned, it seems.
The recording continued. “The thesis I seek to support is that a pony can live off the land in Pony Canada for a week without risk to health, and this place will prove quite helpful for that. Some might say this doesn’t count as living off the land, but ‘finders keepers’ is a well established rule of nature, as my previous thesis has shown.”
Ocellus’s brows scrunched further.
“End of day one, I am still quite fit and healthy physically, although I fear I overindulged myself on the stocks of food stored in the refrigerator. Mentally… I suppose for completeness sake, I should mention one thing that unnerved me. When I came across this cabin, I tried the front door only to find it locked. I went to the back door, which was also locked. However, when I circled around, I tried the front door again and it opened quite easily. I can only imagine it was unlocked all along and just got stuck, but it sticks in my mind regardless. Could this be the start of madness? I will continue to note my feelings toward the door in further recordings. End of log.”
The door was unlocked? That’s what Professor Fluttershy mentioned before! Ocellus leaned in attentively.
The next recording started shortly. Quill had a notably hushed tone to his voice. “Date of recording, same day, eleven PM. The bed was quite comforting, and yet I found myself waking easily to a noise outside the cabin. No, not even a noise, but a hint of a noise. Perhaps nothing at all, really. There are no dangerous fauna in this region, and yet I find myself oddly unnerved. I can’t help but think, is there something watching me from outside the window? Even with the minimal light I have on, it’s impossible to see far outside; by the same token, anything outside can see me quite easily.
“But I must dismiss those thoughts. The only creatures around here are dears and darlings, and they’re hardly threats. And if there were ponies out there that hadn’t frozen to death, then they’d respect my ‘finders keepers’ rights. I’ll take a walk around the cabin to clear my thoughts. End of log.”
The next recording started with haggard breathing, sending a chill down Ocellus’s spine. After the professor took a moment to somewhat calm his breathing, he said, “I-I saw them. Eyes in the window, out of the corner of my vision, and a fleeting shadow when I turned to look. There’s something out there in the cold. I’m sure I had already locked the doors, but I dare not peek out of this room and check. I’ve already blocked the window with the bookcase”—Ocellus glanced up to confirm this was still the case—“and I suppose I’ll stay here until morning. Logically, more likely than not it was a curious dear, given how tall it was in the window. Still, better to be cautious now and investigate later.” There was a pause. “On the subject of doors, I mentioned before the mystery of the locked front door. My mind can’t help but connect that figure outside with this, even though—”
Knowledge Quill suddenly went quiet, with only the moments of captured breaths confirming that it was still recording. Ocellus heard something else, however. She turned up the volume. It was hard to tell what was part of the recording and what was an audio artifact, but she could swear she heard… footfalls? She then heard shuffling noises, which she imagined had to come from the professor, though he didn’t say anything. Then slow creaking noises.
Was he opening the door? Was he really going to check for himself what those noises were?
There were soft hoofsteps, drifting further away, and then silence.
Then a scream.
Not from the recording, but from right outside the door. The changeling fell out of her seat in shock, her heart pounding as the noise echoed. That voice was unmistakable: it was Professor Rarity!
Ocellus pulled the study door open and immediately met with a ghastly sight. Rarity shook with her mouth agape and her eyes bulging, her chest compressing as though still attempting to scream with empty lungs. The professors were further back in the hallway, and Silverstream and Yona were opening their door, but Ocellus couldn’t tell what expressions they had, because she was focused on what was in front of her.
The refrigerator door was open, and on the ground in front of it was the head of a unicorn, rolled onto its side just as Rainbow’s was. Her heart sank. This had to be Knowledge Quill. Was his head in the refrigerator even as she moved it? Her stomach convulsed and it took everything to not throw up.
A sharp intake made Ocellus focus on Rarity again. The unicorn breathed quickly with loud gasps as she backed away. “We-we can’t…” she said under her breath as she panted. She brushed up against Fluttershy, she spun with a start. Ocellus couldn’t see Rarity’s expression, but Fluttershy jumping back in fear was enough of a hint. Loudly, she yelled, “We can’t stay here!”
Suddenly, Rarity galloped toward the front door, knocking aside the ponies in her way. Applejack reached a hoof out to no avail. “Rarity, wait!”
Rarity struggled with the door knob before undoing the lock and trying again. Cold air blasted in as the door opened, but Rarity rushed out regardless.
“Stop, Rarity!” Fluttershy shouted. Before she could even finish the sentence, there was another rush of wind and the unicorn collapsed in the snow, rearing her head back.
And then her head tumbled. Off of her neck, down her back, and into the cabin. It fell onto the wooden floor horn-first, then fell onto its side, staring at those inside in unending fear as blood crept up her fur..
For endless seconds, no one could move.
Finally, Trixie acted, using her magic to first fling the head outside the door, and then slam the door shut. Then Applejack ran and locked the door.
From there, everyone acted quickly, covering the windows with what shelves they could move, and they all formed a circle in the main room, facing outwards.
All anycreature could do was breathe as they warily watched every shadow. They were trapped in a cabin with a crazed axe murderer outside, with several of their friends already dead, and even if they escaped, there were miles of frozen desert all around them.
But this wasn’t the time for despair. This was the time for action. Gulping, Ocellus gathered her courage and stepped outside of the circle. She turned to face everyone, narrowed her eyes, and said, “I know what to do.”
“And it’s time for a bathroom break!” Pinkie Pie declared.
“Another one?” Sweetie Belle said with a frown.
Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. “Technically, I don’t think she had one tonight.”
Pinkie closed her eyes and stuck her tongue out. “I haven’t had one since our last story!”
Scootaloo’s eyes widened. “What, you mean since last year?”
Pinkie nodded her head. “Yup! And that’s why I really need to go now!”
Sweetie sighed. “Alright, fine, you have permission to go.”
Pinkie scrunched her brows. “I wasn’t asking, but sure!”
She zoomed away, leaving the Crusaders alone.
“So she’s definitely the killer, right?” asked Apple Bloom.
“No question,” said Scootaloo.
Sunny put her book down. “And that’s a good moment for us to have one too, don’t you think?”
The foals all looked at each other, and then in unison, shouted, “No!” at Sunny.
“Fewer breaks means Pipp gets more time for her story!” said Glory.
The others all shouted in agreement.
Sunny smiled, with hints of sweat forming on her forehead, and waved her hoof. “Settle down everypony! I’ll just continue the story, then.”
Queen Opaline, the regal fire alicorn of ages past, impatiently tapped on the armrest of her throne. “Misty, I really don’t need you to describe their bathroom breaks or lack thereof in your report. Remember, you’re supposed to be bringing me information about what these ponies know of their past! These Nightmare Night stories are a window into their culture and can serve as hints toward their weaknesses.” She slouched. “Also, a simple yes or no on, ‘Am I in their stories?’ would have sufficed.”
Misty nervously shuffled. “Well, you see, because I was watching from the window the entire time, then came straight here for the report, I brought it up because…”
There was a pause, then Opaline groaned. “Are you serious? Alright, fine, fine, go use the bathroom.”
Misty jumped up. “Thanks! You’re the best!” She then galloped away.
Opaline shook her head and sighed.
Author's Note
The Crazed Axe Murderer of Pony Canada: Pinkie Pie's Terrifying Tales: Sunny Starscout's Terrifying Tales as Related by Misty
Almost a month late, but I finally wrote my Halloween story. Or the first chapter of it, at least. The second (and last) chapter should be easier to write, but no guarantee it'll come soon.
The Crazed Axe Murderer of Pony Canada: Pinkie Pie's Terrifying Tales: Sunny Starscout's Terrifying Tales
In Pony Canada, a small group of creatures were beset by a foe they never could have imagined… a crazed axe murderer! Three of their number have already fallen, leaving behind three students, two teachers, and one counselor.
They didn’t understand the danger they were in, but now they knew too well. Now was the time for a plan.
Ocellus bore an intense look in her eyes. “The first and most important thing to remember is that we can’t go off on our own,” she said, pointing to the door. “The killer can easily handle us individually, but our strength lies in a group.”
“You’re darn right, Ocellus,” Applejack said with a nod. “We still got my kick and Yona’s strength. And I’m sure Trixie can do something too. As long as we keep an eye out, we can wallop ‘em as soon as they try to come in here.”
Hearing that lightened the mood of the group, and there was even a glimmer of a smile from Silverstream and Trixie.
“So we’re going to keep an eye out until morning then leave?” Fluttershy asked, stroking the darling duck she held in her hooves. “Or maybe until we’re sure the killer is asleep?”
Ocellus sighed. “There’s a bit of a complication. I was listening to a recording from the, uh…” she looked back into the hallway “... pony in the refrigerator, and long story short, he mentioned hearing footsteps inside the cabin. Plus there’s been weird stuff with the door locks. I think the killer has another way to get in.”
At this, everyone’s eyes darted around. Silverstream’s centered on the other side of the room. “Do you think they came down the chimney?”
Applejack shook her head. “Nah, I cleaned it out earlier. A filly couldn’t fit down it, let alone anything big enough to… do what happened to Rarity.”
Ocellus shook her head. “The point I’m making is I don’t think we’re safe here either. We need to leave as soon as possible.”
Trixie twisted her face, sticking her tongue out in disgust. “Out there? In the dark, freezing cold?”
“Yak don’t think will be so bad,” said Yona. “We have yak, and we have magic. We outrun murderer and then smash!”
Trixie warily looked out the window, where it was now impossible to make anything out. Hesitantly, she said, “Well… I suppose if it comes to it, we can cut open a dear for warmth. Trixie saw it in a movie once.”
Fluttershy narrowed her eyes. “We aren’t doing that.”
Silverstream waved her arms. “Hey, there won’t be a problem. Yona here is a big fuzzy bear and she’s super warm!” She sprung into and nuzzled the yak. “Aren’t you, Fuzzy Bear?”
Yona giggled. “Little Fish would know better than anyone.”
Ocellus tilted her head. “Little Fish?”
Silverstream continued nuzzling. “Yona says it sounds better in Yakish, but I like it just fine.”
Trixie laughed lightly. “Nicknames and nuzzling, huh? Trixie knows what that means.”
Ocellus blinked at her. “That they’re good friends?”
Without hesitation, Trixie answered, “Yup, best friends even!” She winked.
The changeling pondered this more until it finally struck her. That time they were in the bedroom while the teachers were arguing and she was listening to the tape… they must have been coming up with nicknames for each other! It’s a shame she missed that.
She shook her head to clear her thoughts. “Anyway, we need to leave as soon as possible. Let’s clear the back exit and then, once we’re sure the killer is still at the front, we’ll rush out. Got it?”
Applejack twisted her mouth. “Uh, just one thing. Before we go, I gotta use the bathroom.”
Everyone looked at her.
“You couldn’t have gone before?!” Trixie yelled.
Applejack scoffed. “What, during our hike through the snow?”
The magician raised her hoof. “That's what Trixie did!”
“You mean you—Trixie, that’s disgusting! Ponies use the trail we were on! In any case, I have to go now, and it’s better to do it while the killer is out there and we’re in here. So if you don’t mind.”
She opened a door on the left side of the cabin lounge, revealing a bathroom. Before she could step in, Fluttershy dashed in front of her. “Wait! Buddy system! Nocreature by herself!”
Applejack sighed. “Fine, fine, someone can stay outside the door—”
Fluttershy stomped her hoof. “No, we need to keep an eye on each other! Even in the bathroom!”
The air was still.
“Not it!” Trixie said.
“Not it,” said Yona.
“Oh, not it,” said Ocellus.
“Not it,” said Fluttershy.
Everyone turned to Silverstream, who sat with a vacant smile.
Applejack frowned. “I don’t think I can poop like this.”
“Figure it out!” Trixie said, shoving both Applejack and Silverstream into the bathroom. Then Fluttershy quickly tossed a hoofful of darlings in after them.
“For good measure,” Fluttershy said with a nod.
“OK, while they’re doing that, let’s move the fridge,” said Ocellus.
The unicorn, pegasus, changeling, and yak walked into the hallway, where they saw the head of Knowledge Quill on the ground waiting for them.
Ocellus frowned. “We’re going to have to move that.”
“Not it!” said Trixie.
Fluttershy sighed. “As a teacher, I have to take responsibility for this. Alright, Fluttershy, pretend it’s a fake head, just like Rainbow Dash.”
“Oh yeah, my bad on Rainbow Dash,” Trixie said. “That was probably her real head after all.”
Fluttershy winced and Yona shook her head. “Not the time.”
Regardless, the pegasus took in a deep breath and flew forward, quickly grabbing the head and tossing it into the refrigerator.
“OK, let’s move it back a bit, so we can easily move it out of the way,” said Ocellus. “Once Professor Applejack is, uh, done, if the killer is at the front, then we can move it aside and go out the back. And if they’re at the back, it’ll slow them down until we can go out the front.”
Yona nodded. “Good plan. Yak will move it easy.” True to word, it took only a second for her to pull the refrigerator back.
Ocellus sighed. “Alright, I guess all that’s left to do is wait.”
“I know it’s only been a minute,” Fluttershy said, rubbing her hooves together and shivering, “but I’m going to check if Applejack’s done.”
The pegasus galloped into the lounge and immediately gasped, making the others follow after her.
Ocellus shook her head. “I-It’s only been a minute! How could this have happened?!”
The rug next to the couch had moved, revealing an open hatch in the ground. Ocellus’s mind raced. How did they not think to check for a basement hatch? There are always basement hatches in abandoned cabins! But more importantly, the bathroom door… was open.
The changeling watched as Fluttershy walked to the door and simply put her hoof to her mouth. Gritting her teeth, she followed after and looked inside.
Silverstream’s head rested upright on the sink, with blood splattered on the mirror. Applejack’s head laid on the ground next to the toilet. To the very end, she still wore her hat.
Ocellus could hear Yona gasp. “Silverstream, no!”
With grim determination, Ocellus spun to face the others behind her. “We need to leave, right now!”
“Hold on a second!” a voice called from inside the bathroom.
Everyone blinked. That voice… was it possible?
Applejack’s head fidgeted and then rolled upright. As impossible as it was, the disembodied head blinked, flared its nostrils, and even opened its mouth. “I’m actually kind of sort of OK!”
With a gasp, Fluttershy flew into the bathroom and picked up her head. “Applejack?! How is this possible?”
The head hummed. “I can’t say for sure. All I can figure is that I must’ve gotten used to losing my head after all that business with the Diamond Dogless Head. Or losing my body, rather.”
“Hey, wait a minute!” said Apple Bloom. “What the hay is all this?”
Pinkie Pie blinked innocently. “What do you mean?”
“This is a follow-up to the ghost Twilight story?” asked Sweetie Belle. “But they were talking about the cake monster story earlier!”
Pinkie smiled. “This is following up both stories!”
“But that makes no sense!” the Cutie Mark Crusaders shouted in unison, making the storyteller cover her ears.
Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Sheesh, you fillies always get hung up on the weirdest things. Anyway, Applejack is a head now, and she has some important information…”
Ocellus put her leg to her forehead as Fluttershy brought Applejack’s head into view of the others. “This is fantastic! And totally unbelievable! And you’re saying this happened to you before?”
“Yak can believe it, yaks have legends like this” said Yona. “But if Professor now infernal demon head—”
“Still just a pony head,” Applejack corrected.
“—then is Silverstream OK too?”
Applejack winced. “Sorry to say, I’m pretty sure she’s dead dead.” Yona furrowed her brows in response and the earth pony head quickly added, “But what’s important is that I know what’s behind all this!”
Everyone gathered around with wide eyes. Fluttershy looked down and asked, “Who, Applejack, who?”
Applejack’s head rolled side to side. “Not who. What. Think of what was with us all this time. They were there when everypony started dying. They came in here with us. And none of them have been beheaded.”
Trixie gasped. “That dead unicorn’s body!”
“No, the—” her eyes widened “—watch out!”
With a yelp, Fluttershy flew to the ceiling while the others jumped away, just in time for an axe swing to whiff, embedding the weapon into the sink.
In the brief seconds it took for the attacker to recover, Ocellus acted quickly and shut the door. She grabbed and held the knob—not a moment too soon, as another axe swing struck the door, showering her with wood shards. Then another came, and another, until finally there was a small hole.
The killer stuck its beak through the hole and quacked.
Everyone screamed.
“Oh come on, the ducks are the killers?!” yelled Sweetie Belle.
“Yup!” Pinkie said with a proud smirk. “Didn’t see that coming, did you?”
“No, because it’s insane!” the unicorn said as she moved to flip over a nearby table.
Scootaloo raised a hoof. “Actually, it isn’t too out of the question. Mom and Dad told me that ducks are among the most vicious animals out there.”
Sweetie tilted the table halfway up, but stopped in place. “Oh, really?”
Apple Bloom rubbed her chin. “Well, if these were geese, I wouldn’t question it at all, but ducks aren’t too out there I suppose.”
Sweetie sighed and calmly set the table down. “Alright, if you girls say so. But you’ll have to do a lot of convincing, Pinkie!”
Pinkie spread her hooves. “And you will be, because these darlings are a menace like no other! As our even more darling friends will soon learn.”
Yona quickly dragged one of the cabinets to the bathroom door, muffling the deadly quacks.
In their brief moment of safety, everyone released their breath and slumped onto the ground. Then Trixie frowned at Applejack and yelled, “Why didn’t you just say it was the darlings?!”
Applejack squeezed her lips together and turned her eyes away. “Er, anyway, the darlings took my and Silverstream’s bodies into the basement, and that’s where that one just came from.”
“Why ducks want bodies?” asked Yona.
“No time, we should go now!” Ocellus said as she flew to the front door and, before anyone could react, unlocked the front door and kicked it open.
“Ocellus, remember what happened to Rarity!” said Applejack.
The changeling nodded. “I know, just let me…” She glanced behind her, grabbed a couch cushion, and tossed it through the doorway. An axe swung down without hesitation, cutting the cushion in half. She spun around and flew toward the hallway. “Alright, out the back!”
Everyone raced to the hallway and nearly crashed into the refrigerator blocking their way. With a grunt, Trixie shoved it aside with her magic, and then screamed.
Two darlings, waddling in circles and absentmindedly quacking, now blocked their way to the back door.
Gripped in Fluttershy’s hooves, Applejack gasped. “Those varmints must’ve flown over the top of the fridge when we weren’t looking!”
Yona snorted and scratched her hoof against the floor. “Yak no afraid of ducks! Yak strong! Yak smash those who kill friends!”
Ocellus reached out. “Yona, wait!”
It was too late. The ground rumbled under Yona’s charge as she lowered her head. Every stride brought her closer, and still the ducks looked away, examining the ground.
Then one of them pulled an axe out from under its wing and sliced Yona’s head off. The darlings flew up over the collapsing yak body and landed as it passed them and crashed against the back door. Yona’s head spun in the air and landed upside down, her horns embedded into the floor. As though nothing had happened, the axe was gone, and the ducks waddled aimlessly.
With exclamations inappropriate for fillies, the remaining ponies and changeling spun and headed back into the lobby. Knowing to avoid the front door, Trixie acted quickly and threw a chair through the window next to the fireplace, shattering the glass. Before anyone could get close enough to even consider jumping through, another pair of darlings flew in through the hole and landed on the ground, rearing back and unleashing loud quacks.
Trixie danced in place then backed into Fluttershy and Ocellus. “Nope! Nope!”
The darling stationed at the door came inside at this and joined in the quacking. On top of that, yet another darling dropped in through the chimney and ruffled its feathers.
The cornered victims backed away. Applejack felt a lump in her absent throat and gulped. She laughed lightly. “Well, I guess the killer was using the chimney to get inside after all.”
The cabinet blocking the bathroom door shook as the duck inside the bathroom continued battering it.
Ocellus looked all around her. Where could they go? Could they break another window and leave before the darlings struck? No, she saw for herself how fast they were. The only place left for them was…
“Everyone!” Ocellus shouted. “Get into the basement!”
Fluttershy whimpered. “But that’s where Applejack said the bodies are!”
Applejack shook Fluttershy’s hooves. “We ain’t got a choice! Let’s go!”
Trixie was the first to jump in and the others quickly followed. They heard frenzied screeches from the ducks, but they dared not look back, with a grasping Ocellus just barely closing the hatch behind her and locking it.
The changeling fell back and they all held their breaths as the darlings chopped away at the door, only for the sounds of shattered wood to be replaced with metal clangs. The axe strikes soon stopped, followed by light quacking.
Breathing heavily, Fluttershy let out a nervous laugh. “They’re saying that the door’s metal inside. And they’re asking each other who saw the key last. None of them know!”
“Thank Celestia,” said Applejack. “Now we have a moment to think.”
“We shouldn’t let our guard down,” said Ocellus. “We don’t know what we’ll find here.”
They finally shifted their attention down the stairs.
“The light’s on,” Trixie said nervously.
“There shouldn’t be any other darlings,” said Fluttershy. “Otherwise the ones upstairs would just call for that one.”
Still, they moved cautiously, step by step down the stairs and then through a short wooden hallway, the floor creaking under them.
Then they saw them. A large chamber with several grim metal tables, on top of which were five bloody decapitated bodies.
“Starlight!” Trixie called out as she rushed to one lilac pony body, putting her hooves up on the table it was on. “Oh gods, I didn’t actually think…”
Fluttershy choked back a sob. “And there’s Rainbow and Silverstream…”
“And Applejack’s body,” said Ocellus. “That last pony there must be Knowledge Quill.”
They stood silently for several seconds.
Applejack shook herself in Fluttershy’s grip. “As much as it pains me, we ain’t got time to just sit here. We gotta act!”
Ocellus wiped away her tears. “You’re right. We need to figure out what we can do from here.”
Fluttershy spoke hesitantly. “Th-there could be another exit.”
Applejack scrunched her eyebrows. “Hold on, before you look, could you put me down next to my body?”
The pegasus looked down with wide eyes. “Oh, um, sure.” She approached the body slowly, which was positioned with its legs upward. Fluttershy froze before she got close enough to put Applejack down, but with a well-timed shake, Applejack leapt from her front legs, spun in the air, and landed directly on the neck stump of her body. With an additional twist, her head oriented in the right direction and there was a click sound.
Applejack’s legs twitched, then bent in unison. Then to everyone’s amazement, she spun onto her belly and stood up, a whole pony again.
“Yee-haw!” she yelled as she bucked her back legs. “Now this is what I’m talking about! Those ducks won’t know what hit them!”
Ocellus blinked. “Wow, that’s…wow!”
“I’m glad that for once something unexpected happened that’s good instead of terrible,” said Fluttershy.
However, any celebration ended as they heard loud clamoring upstairs.
“Are they about to attack?” asked Ocellus.
Fluttershy shook her head. “No, they still can’t find the key down here and are getting angry at each other. We’re still safe for now.”
“That’s good,” said Applejack. “Let’s use this time to look around.”
The earth and pegasus ponies split up to search the room, but Ocellus noticed that Trixie was still by Starlight’s side. “Uh, Counselor Trixie, I really hate to interrupt your grieving…” She trailed off.
Trixie turned to her with a light smile. “No, it’s fine.” She looked back toward Starlight. “There’s so much I can say about Starlight, but that can wait until later. I know I’ve been a real bother lately, but that’s because I knew she was there to pick up the slack. That won’t be the case anymore, so I need to become a better pony in her place.” She put her hoof to her chest. “Trixie will commit to being a good pony and will follow in Starlight Glimmer’s example.”
She walked up to Ocellus and put her hoof on her shoulder. “In fact, I know what we can do to get out of this!”
Stopping their search, Applejack and Fluttershy turned to her in surprise. The earth pony grinned. “Let me guess, you brought something Starlight specifically didn’t want you to bring.”
Trixie nodded. “Indeed, Starlight said there would be no fireworks on this trip, but you know Trixie, so I brought one or two or three dozen in my cart.”
“Fireworks!” Ocellus said. “If we place them right, then we can take out all the darlings without getting in axe range!”
Trixie shook her head. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about being careful. Just light them up and they’ll take out the entire cabin plus any darlings in a quarter mile!”
Applejack chuckled. “Normally I’d be mighty angry you brought such dangerous things, but hoo-ey are you a lifesafer right now!”
Fluttershy raised her hoof. “Um, I know we’re in a real dangerous predicament, but let’s think for a second. Do we really want to kill a bunch of potentially innocent animals like that?”
Applejack huffed and raised a leg. “Are you serious right now? In no world are these critters innocent!”
Fluttershy threw up her hooves. “We don’t know that! Maybe they’re territorial and are just acting on instinct!”
“Are you saying instinct made them put bodies on operating tables in basements?”
Before the argument could go further, Ocellus jumped between them. “Wait a moment! Professor Fluttershy, why don’t you just ask them?”
Fluttershy blinked. “Oh yes, of course.”
The pegasus walked to the stairway and called up. “Excuse me? Darlings?”
The bickering ducks paused and a quack came back in response.
“Darlings, we are not your enemies! If you let us leave your territory, you won’t have a reason to hurt us! Does that sound good to you?”
There was another quack a moment later.
Fluttershy frowned. “Oh dear.”
“What did it say?” asked Ocellus.
“He said that they want to kill us because it’s fun, and then they want our corpses for a dark purpose.” She sighed. “Fine, I’ll sign off on blowing them to oblivion.”
“Still,” said Applejack, “there’s the problem of how any of us are gonna get up there to set off the fireworks. And more than that, how we’re not going to get caught in the blast.”
“Trixie can teleport,” the unicorn said, “but accuracy is still a problem for me. And teleporting more than once in a row.”
“Sounds like you going out there would make you liable to get darling’d right away.” Applejack rubbed her neck. “Though speaking of that, maybe I can go out there. They cut my head off once already and I was fine, after all.”
Ocellus shook her head. “It’d be a problem if they cut up your body more, though. You could send just your head up there, but then you wouldn’t be able to set off the fireworks.”
“What can we do, then?” asked Fluttershy.
The changeling took in a breath. “I can do it. I can transform into a head and then return to normal once I’m clear.”
Fluttershy gasped. “We can’t ask you to do that!”
“We’re running low on time and I don’t see any other options.”
Applejack sighed. “Alright, Ocellus. You haven’t steered us wrong so far, so I’ll trust that you’ll be fine.”
Trixie stepped forward. “If you light the big fuse, then the fireworks will go off in stages. The first explosion will be my signal to teleport everypony out of here. You just run. Got it?”
Ocellus nodded. “We’ll need to open the door briefly, so we’ll have to make sure no darlings get in.”
“Don’t worry, I can distract them,” said Fluttershy. “You see, the darlings have a natural predator, the dreaded polar bae! I’ll imitate its call and that should startle them for a few seconds.”
The changeling looked around. “OK, no time like the present.” She took in a breath, pulling her entire body into herself, leaving her as a head that then plopped to the ground.
Fluttershy lifted Ocellus the head off the ground and looked at her. “I think I’m getting used to this, and I don’t know what to feel about that.”
Hesitantly, the two of them approached the basement entrance. The pegasus took in some breaths in preparation, then breathed in deeply and released an unearthly cry of, “UWU!”
Above, they could hear quacks of distress, so without a moment to waste, Fluttershy undid the latch, tossed Ocellus up, and sealed the door again.
“Good luck,” she said before going back down the stairs.
Ocellus rotated in the air before coming to a halt on the wooden floor, laying on her cheek. The darlings looked around warily for their deadly foe, but soon enough, their attention was drawn to the new head.
Ducks creeped toward the changeling from all directions, stopping mere inches from her. They tilted their heads and stared into Ocellus’s unblinking eyes. Sweat poured down her forehead and she clenched her lips together.
Seconds later, the killers lost all interest and resumed their wandering through the cabin. When the changeling couldn’t sense any looking at her, she blinked and breathed a light sigh of relief. She started rolling toward the window, but a quack made her freeze in place. A darling was looking right at her. She held her breath, and just a moment later, the duck had turned and walked away.
Ocellus took this opportunity to roll toward the window Trixie had broken open and launched her head through, landing outside in the snow.
The sky was black and the sharp coldness was enough to make the muscles in her face stiffen and her teeth chatter. Changelings weren’t made for this kind of weather, she thought to herself. Still, she couldn’t think about the cold. She had a mission. The light from the cabin allowed her to spot the sled several meters away from the door, and if she wanted to get there, she needed mobility.
Ocellus warily returned to her normal form. With her head already exposed, her body didn’t react as strongly upon exposure, but it was still rough going. Gritting her teeth, she looked back to make sure no darlings were perched at the window then made a stumbling gallop toward her goal. Exertion and fear both warmed herself up to the point that she was more or less back to normal as she fell onto the sled.
“OK, OK, fireworks, fireworks,” she said to herself as she rummaged through the pile of tied-down items. Shifting aside a box of clothes that belonged to Rarity—she grimaced, realizing she’d never wear them again—she found it. A wooden crate labeled “Do Not Eat” with fuses poking out of various points and even what appeared to be gunpowder leaking out. And then outside of the box was what looked less like a firework and more like a great red rocket, with the words “Celestia’s Shart” displayed on it proudly in yellow block letters.
Ocellus gave a tired laugh and shook her head. “I’m glad Principal Glimmer somehow didn’t notice this.”
Celestia’s Shart had the biggest fuse there, so that must be what Trixie was talking about. The changeling doubted that it would “go off in stages” as promised, but there weren’t exactly any other options.
Ocellus took the lighter that was precariously left right next to this whole mess, but before she could even test it, she heard a noise from the top of the sled.
“Quack.”
The changeling froze and slowly looked up. There she saw a darling tilting its head, staring at her curiously.
Ocellus took in a breath, and that’s all the time the duck needed to jump down and swing its axe.
Fluttershy paced nervously in the cellar.
“Have faith, sugarcube,” Applejack said as she looked over their surroundings. “Meantime, we gotta prepare in case those varmints break through the door.” She hummed as she pulled a large chainsaw off of a table in the back. “I wonder…”
To Fluttershy and Trixie’s wide-eyed amazement, Applejack popped her head off, placed it on the table, then placed the chainsaw on her neck stump, where it easily snapped into place. Her head leapt from the table onto her back through the use of powerful neck muscles, then she started the engine and reared back in triumph as the chainsaw roared to life. “Yee-haw!”
Trixie yelled over the noise, “That’s the craziest thing Trixie has ever seen, and I haven’t even had any magic potions today!”
“What?” asked Fluttershy, who had covered her ears.
“Though Trixie will probably give up potions! I need to be more responsible!”
Applejack said something in response, but the whirling blades drowned her out. Frowning, she finally used a leg to turn the chainsaw off.
Trixie ahemed. “As I was saying, Trixie will turn over a new leaf. It’s what Starlight would have wanted.”
“Oh Trixie,” said Fluttershy. “It’s up to you how you wish to pay tribute, but never forget that Starlight loved you for who you are.”
Trixie shook her head. “That’s very kind of you, but I can’t forget about everyone we lost today, including our students. I need to become a better pony so nothing like this happens again.”
“That’s very noble of you,” Applejack said gently. “I don’t know how I’m going to deal with all this. Even seeing Rainbow there, I feel like she’s going to pop right up again.”
Trixie raised an eyebrow. “Like you did?”
Applejack laughed. “Well, you got me there. Still a chance for more miracles to happen, I suppose.”
Trixie smiled. “Yeah…”
The unicorn looked over at Starlight’s body and then her face lit up. “Actually, I—”
Before Trixie could finish, the ceiling collapsed above her.
Wood shards floated down in slow motion as Fluttershy and Applejack both gasped. Trixie looked up with wide eyes as a chunk of wood struck her forehead, making her eyes slam close, but just before they did, she saw three white shapes tumbling down.
While they were all focused on the door, the darlings had broken through the floor above them. They were out of time and didn’t even realize.
Without looking, Trixie reached out with her magic and held everything around her, darlings included. Her magic surged and wobbled, tears coming out of her closed eyes and mixing with the blood trickling down her face. The ceiling continued collapsing until there was a barricade of debris blocking her off from the others. The ducks struggled with impressive strength, and it was clear that they’d break out any moment now.
“Go!” Trixie cried. “I’ll hold them off, just go! I’ll be right behind you, trust Trixie!”
Tears came to Applejack’s eyes unbidden. Nodding, she pulled her chainsaw’s power cord and grabbed Fluttershy, who was frozen in place. Without wasting a moment, she swung Fluttershy onto her back then leapt with all her power and charged straight into the cellar hatch. Fluttershy held on tight—and kept Applejack’s head in place with her own—as the force blasted the metal door into the air, shattering the frame around it.
Among the airborne debris, the ponies could see a pair of ducks flapping their wings in alarm. They must have been planning to flank them when they opened the door, but they didn’t expect Applejack. Still, one darling recovered quickly enough to attack. Metal met metal as it slammed its axe into the chainsaw, but the engine was too strong and deflected it, knocking the duck onto its back. Before the other one could get any ideas, Fluttershy yelled, “UWU!”
The darlings cried out in surprise and looked around, allowing the ponies to gallop past them. Fluttershy hoped the darlings attacking Trixie were just as distracted. Without stopping, Applejack jumped through the broken window and landed in the snow.
Fluttershy looked back, taking in sharp breaths in response to the cold air. The darlings had already recovered from their shock and were now looking through the hole. Applejack charged forward undistracted, her chainsaw head continuously whirring. With the darlings chasing them, they’d have no chance to stop at the sled and set off the fireworks. They had to trust that Ocellus would handle that.
“There were three darlings in the cellar,” said Fluttershy. With Applejack’s head right in front of her, she didn’t need to yell over the engine. “And there were two in the lounge. That’s definitely not all of them, so we need to be—”
The snow rose up ahead of them and, with a loud hiss, a darling came up from the ground with its head reared back. The ponies could do nothing to change their course in time. With quick thinking, Applejack instead took advantage of this by directing her roaring blades right at the waterfowl.
Unfortunately, the darling was quicker. It dodged to the side and swung its own blade, slicing straight through the point where Applejack’s chainsaw connected to her neck, resulting in it flying away harmlessly. Though not fatal to Applejack, the sudden weight change was enough to make her and Fluttershy trip and tumble in the snow, rolling for several feet before coming to a stop.
Fluttershy groaned. Her whole body was aching. Her head was fuzzy, but after a second to remember her predicament, she shot up and looked around. Applejack’s body was a few feet from her and her head was nowhere in sight. The darling that attacked them waddled confidently toward them, its axe brandished openly. Shortly after, the ducks from the lounge fluttered to the ground on either side of it, forming a line of inevitable death. Fluttershy looked back to Applejack. Her body struggled to rise up, but without her head, she wouldn’t be much help.
Fluttershy breathed heavily. What could she do? Could she yell again? Would that work a third time? And how much time would that buy in any case?
The darlings certainly weren’t concerned about time. They approached slowly, focused on them and nothing else. One tilted its head, as though trying to figure out how best to take off her head. One looked back and then three more darlings swooped down, passing the line and landing to form a circle around the ponies. Fluttershy didn’t think much of this at first, just taking it to be a further assurance of their doom, but then her eyes widened. These were the darlings from the cellar.
That meant Trixie…
Fluttershy choked back a sob. There was nothing left to do. Trixie couldn’t hold them back, and as for Ocellus…
Well, if the fireworks weren’t going off by this point, that meant she had failed Ocellus too.
All that was left to do was to wait for the axe swing.
Fluttershy lowered her head as she cried into her hooves, and—
“Professor Fluttershy! Don’t lose hope!”
Gasping, Fluttershy turned to see a figure standing in the snow just beyond the darlings. Ocellus stood triumphantly, holding a bag in her hooves. She smiled. “I got this!”
Minutes before…
Looking up at the darling, Ocellus didn’t have much time to act before it struck.
But it was enough.
In a split second, the assailant sliced through the changeling’s neck. However, when the head launched off of her body, it suddenly became enveloped in blue fire and floated through the air as a thin pink sheet. It was nothing more than a piece of Ocellus’s head fin.
The darling tilted its head to look at this and in that moment, Ocellus’s supposedly headless body flashed blue and transformed into a new shape. She had turned into a gigantic insectoid monster, with swords for arms and steam heaving out of its fanged mouth.
For once, the darling displayed an expression not of animal indifference, but legitimate surprise. Ocellus acted quickly, swinging her arms together with a primal roar, and struck true. The duck got caught between the blades, turning sideways as the upper arm sent it one way and the lower arm the other. To Ocellus’s disappointment, this didn’t cleave the villain in two, or even appear to draw any blood, but it was sent flying away with a warbling honk.
Ocellus shifted back to her normal form, albeit with a bit taken off the top of her head fin. She breathed heavily. If even that form wasn’t enough to do real damage, then she had no other option than the fireworks. She shifted her focus back to the sled even as she saw the darling rushing toward her, axe raised overhead.
She still didn’t have time to light the fireworks, at least without the darling just killing her and putting it out. She needed something to distract it. She needed…
Suddenly, she saw it. There in the sled was the key to their victory.
“Take this, you monsters!” cried out Ocellus as she reached into her bag and threw several small brown objects toward the darlings.
The ducks immediately shifted their attention, flapping their wings and quacking in excitement as they charged toward the thrown objects. All thoughts about their pony victims seemed to disappear as they pecked and clawed at the snow.
Fluttershy simply sat there, breathing deeply and slowly as she attempted to parse the sudden change in situation, before finally saying, “Ocellus! I’m so glad you’re OK!” She flew to the changeling and hugged her.
Ocellus nuzzled into her. “I’m glad to see you two are OK too.”
In this time, Applejack reunited her head and body and joined them. “Woo-ey, great job, Ocellus! What did you give those darlings that’s distracting them so much?”
Ocellus lifted up her bag. “Peanut butter crackers. Courtesy of Counselor Trixie. It looks like the darlings can’t get enough of them.”
Fluttershy looked at the darlings, still pecking at the ground. “In the end, I suppose they are still ducks.”
“Speaking of which,” Ocellus said, looking around, “where is Counselor Trixie?”
Applejack and Fluttershy’s faces sank, and that was all Ocellus needed to know.
After a pause, Ocellus said, “These crackers won’t last forever. I’ll light the fireworks and we’ll be done with all this.”
Nodding, they walked past the feasting darlings, who didn’t even lift their heads. As they approached the sled, they spotted a seventh darling—the one that had attacked Ocellus—and it too was focused on bits of food in the snow. It showed no response as Ocellus used a lighter to ignite the fireworks.
Then the ponies and changeling ran.
Even as the first stage of fireworks went off, the darling by the sled didn’t lose focus.
They ran into the black cold until the cabin was a distant light.
Then everything exploded. The fireworks created a far bigger impact than they could have imagined, bringing summer daylight to the frozen wasteland for a brief moment. Ocellus realized that if they hadn’t incidentally been looking away, they certainly would have been blinded. What kind of fireworks were these?
Before they had a chance to dwell on this, the shockwave came, bowling them over and covering them in snow.
The group shook themselves off and got up. Gazing at the smoldering crater that was once their cabin, they couldn’t help but laugh.
“Well, no way they survived that,” said Applejack.
They all cheered and jumped and hugged. After minutes of this, they finally separated and sat on the snow.
Calming down, Ocellus looked down. “It’s a shame Counselor Trixie couldn’t be with us.”
“She did more to save us than anyone,” said Applejack with a nod.
“And she was the greatest and most powerful of them all.”
“Darn right, and she—” Applejack saw that Fluttershy wasn’t looking at her but rather right behind her. The earth pony turned around.
There stood a blue unicorn, her singed cape billowing in the wind. Though bruised and hatless with a messy mane, she grinned triumphantly.
“Trixie!” Fluttershy called out as she tackled the mare into a hug and they fell into the snow. The others immediately followed after, piling onto her.
The unicorn groaned. “I appreciate all the attention, but Trixie is kind of in a lot of pain right now.”
The ponies and changeling pulled away from her.
“I can’t believe it! How the hay did you get out of there?” asked Applejack.
Trixie ran her hoof through her mane. “A magician never reveals her secrets.” After a pause, she twisted her lips and said. “Alright, fine, Trixie teleported. Nothing more to it.”
Fluttershy smiled. “In any case, I’m so glad you’re OK.”
“If you still have magic, do you mind lighting the way?” asked Ocellus. “We still have to find some shelter.”
The unicorn nodded. “Trixie is always magical and powerful! Behold!” Blue light emitted from her horn, bringing warmth to the survivors and revealing what was around them in the dark.
Shadows stirred, making them jump, but then they relaxed when they saw the source. A group of dears were kneeling in the snow, still wearing their elegant bowties. Their fur was brushed and cleaned and they had sleeping masks over their eyes. A few used their hooves to remove their masks in response to the light, placing them on their antlers like they were hangers, standing up and approaching the survivors curiously.
“Oh, it’s those things,” Trixie said.
“The dears,” said Ocellus. “Come to think of it, didn’t they run off when the darlings first showed up?”
“Oh, of course!” Fluttershy said. “They must have been living in fear of the darlings all this time.”
The pegasus walked toward the dears and stood on her back legs, spreading her front legs wide. “Dears! We have defeated the darlings! Their reign of terror is over, and you’re free now! Now you can live in peace!”
The remaining dears removed their sleeping masks in response, and they all looked at each other with unreadable expressions.
Then they simultaneously sat upright, put their front legs to their antlers, and pulled their heads off.
The survivors could do nothing but stand there with growing horror on their faces as the heads fell to the ground. And then out of the neck stumps popped new heads.
Duck heads.
The sound of a hundred quacks echoed throughout the wastes of Pony Canada.
Pinkie Pie closed a book that she wasn’t reading from and calmly took a sip of tea. “And that, my little ponies, is why you must learn to kill your darlings. What did you think?”
Apple Bloom nodded. “Gotta hand it to you Pinkie, that was actually kinda sorta compelling. And it was a big surprise that you weren’t the killer after all!”
“Well that wasn’t supposed to be a surprise…”
The filly continued. “You actually made it feel like anyone could die!”
“Even after all that Applejack head stuff,” added Scootaloo. “Though it’s pretty lame that Rainbow couldn’t do that.”
Sweetie Belle rested her head on one hoof. “Should we take the darlings to be a metaphor about the harshness of nature? Like if we were to see what really happened, there wouldn’t be axe-wielding ducks, but just the bitter cold, which they represent. Oh, with them being white, that could be an allusion to the windegos!”
Pinkie smiled and wiped her forehead. “Well I’m glad you liked it for once! I was starting to get worried, after all the stories these past few years…”
Sweetie blinked. “Oh no, I didn’t say I liked it. I think it’s a very pedestrian effort that shows a clear lack of in-depth knowledge of the slasher genre. For one thing, I can’t even begin to guess why it’s set in Pony Canada, which neither exists nor has any association with axe murderers. While I appreciate that you didn’t spell it out in the narrative, it’s still disappointing that you opted to have Yona and Silverstream die right after making out.”
Scootaloo tilted her head. “Wait, that’s what they were doing?”
“And most of all, the title is inaccurate! There were tons of axe murderers! That isn’t the same genre, Pinkie!”
Pinkie shrugged. “Well still, I’ll take this as a win.”
“You’ll take this!” Sweetie yelled in a squeaky voice as she lifted up a table.
“And there’s where the story ends,” said Sunny.
The foals cheered, with many saying things like “so much death” and “I want to get my head chopped off”.
“It’s unclear if there’s meant to be more after this, but us pony historians treasure every bit we have.” Sunny reached down and pulled out a second book, a ratty notebook with pages spilling out. “My father spent a lot of time compiling information about everything referenced in this, and I want to spend some time talking about that. Let’s consider Scootaloo’s allusion to quote unquote ‘the same mannequin story’ at the start. There are a number of tales this could be, such as—”
Sunny noticed the blank expressions on the faces of the foals.
She placed the book back down and moved her hooves in an eerie way. “And they say that on a chilly day, you can still hear a sinister quack coming from the darkness.”
The ponies resumed their cheering, and with that, Sunny took a bow, and the next performer came on the stage with a flourish.
“Hey there, Pippsqueaks!” said Pipp as she shook her mane and waved a leg.
The crowd went wild, with some even falling over.
“Now, speaking of mannequins, have I got a spooky story for you all!”
She sat down, and after patting the ground, everyone settled down.
The princess cleared her throat. “This has been passed down in my family for generations. Let me tell you the story of the night… that the mannequin came to life and haunted all the costumes!”
Misty brushed her hoof against the floor. “And I knew I couldn’t handle another scary story, so I got out of there before I heard any of that. So there you have it.”
Her queen, Opaline, scoffed. “How ridiculous. Is that truly what they remember of the past?”
The unicorn spun a hoof in her mane. “Opaline, did, uh, these darlings… actually exist?”
“What, did you seriously—” the alicorn’s eyes widened when she saw Misty’s expression. “My stars, don’t tell me you’re actually scared of axe-wielding ducks now!”
Misty looked away. “Well, I mean, Sunny made it all sound so convincing. She did the quacks and everything, I don’t know if I mentioned that.”
Opaline laughed heartily. “Misty, Misty, Misty. You’re absolutely ridiculous! There are no such things!” She moved a leg in a shooing motion. “Clearly it’s too late at night for you. Go to bed and you’ll have a clearer head in the morning.”
Misty grimaced, thinking of the nightmares she’d have. “Yes, Opaline…”
Misty laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. No matter how long she waited, she simply wasn’t going to sleep.
With a sigh, she got up. She might as well get some water.
The unicorn navigated through the dark castle corridors. The route was hardly unfamiliar, but she still found herself moving slowly, fidgeting at every unexpected shadow.
As she neared the kitchen, she noticed a light in the distance. Opaline’s room.
Misty thought back to her childhood. It was rare, but when she got scared at night, the queen sometimes let her stay in her room. It’s been years and years since the last time she did that, but Misty sought anything that could relieve her from the quacks echoing in her mind.
Trotting past the kitchen, she peeked through the slightly open door. Opaline sat in front of a mirror, admiring her appearance as she often did.
Just as Misty was about to push the door open, however, she saw something.
The alicorn put hooves on either side of her face and then pushed them forward.
Her head fell onto the ground.
Underneath, coming out of her neck was the head of a duck.
Misty gasped.
The duck slowly turned and looked into her eyes. It stared at her unblinkingly.
Then it quacked.
Author's Note
Like The Two Starlights, this is based on a Discord chat RP, Crazed Axe Murderer of Horse Canada, from 2019.
I had this chapter outlined for a while, but I just had difficulty finding the time to write this, so apologies for that. Now I only have half a year until the next Halloween story.
