The Human Nerd From Hell

by ShelledMule

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Comedy, Tragedy, Human, Dark
Length: 1062

When Twilight finds a spell to teleport a human into Equestria, things don't go as planned.

Rated TEEN for now, though I will increase to mature later.

There was a flash. Little did Ponyville know, however, that the flash they saw contained more than they thought…

(My first fic, so heavy criticism is highly appreciated. Will contain rape and gore later.)
YES I AM AWARE THAT THIS STORY SUCKS.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-22 03:10:58 UTC

The Entry

This is an extremely dark fiction containing scenes of gore, rape,  and extra juicy violence.

Only continue if this is the kind of stuff you like.

Twilight had just done it. She just brought a creature, extinct in Equestria for thousands of years, into Ponyville. She ran from the library all the way to Zecora's hut, eager to tell the zebra of the accomplishment.

"Zecora?" she asked out loud, wondering if the rhyming zebra was home. It seemed that was not the case. However, when she turned around to the door, she saw a bipedal creature stand there.

"Are you the native organic creatures here?" it asked, startling the lavender unicorn.

"Uh..." she pondered, wondering what the creature meant. is this what I brought here? she thought to herself, starting to regret her use of magic. As if the thing standing in front of her wasn't enough, she had read one of the restricted books in her library, teaching her how to cross dimensions and allow beings to pass through.

"Yes?" she finally answered after a few seconds.

"It seems as though I awoke in a forest, different from those in our galaxy. It seems that you are horselike in nature, if not a new species of animal outright. What are you called?" it asked.

"Ponies?" Twilight responded, wondering if the creature in front of her was going to harm her.

~~~~~~

Day 1:

I awoke in a strange forest today, different from those I am used to. It seems as though I am in a different reality, as the colors seem to be more of a pastel. I am going to see if I can find any form of intelligent life, and if lucky, could potentially make residence. I will report my findings in this notebook, which I have always kept in my right back pocket. I have found what appears to be some form of liquid coca in a sac, and will have to use the liquid and a leaf as my ink and pen until I can find some actual writing materials. I can hear some noises in the forest, and they appear to be those of the canis lupus, or "grey wolf". If I am lucky, I might make it out of here alive.

~~~~~~

Twilight took the creature to her library, in hopes that it would explain itself. From what she could tell, the creature was generally nice; though it tended to correct her if she made a "mistake". She decided to eventually ask where it was from.

"It depends on what you mean."

She didn't like where this was going.

"What galaxy?"

"The Milky Way."

"Okay, I don't know what that is. What planet?"

"Earth. What planet is this?"

"Earth."

"Odd, we must be in parallel dimensions. Explain to me the history of the planet, from 1000 B.C."

Twilight didn't understand what it meant, so she changed subjects.

"What are you?", she asked, though instantly regretted.

"A homo sapien."

"A what?"

"A human. I can already tell that this relationship will not benefit either of us in any way."

"Why do you say that?" Twilight asked, slightly offended that the "human" didn't think that they could be friends.

"Because you are not nearly as smart as I am." he stated matter-of-factly.

She had had enough of this, so she used her magic to teleport him back into the Everfree Forest.  She realized that it was almost nighttime, so she shut her windows and locked her door. She sighed and then sat down in her bed. I should warn Princess Celestia about the human she thought to herself, but she did not have time to send the letter.

She was fast asleep.

~~~~~~

Day 1, second entry:

The "pony" quickly proved that she was not nearly as intelligent as I was, and seemed offended when I stated that I could not befriend her if she wasn't near my intellect. This was proven true when she somehow teleported me back into the forest I awoke in. I am tired, so I will create a temporary shelter and then sleep.

~~~~~~

Day 2:

I awoke, only to realize that my iPhone and calculators did not work. It appears that these so-called "ponies" do not have any form of wireless internet, and possibly no electricity. If I can find out the speed of the planet's rotation, revolution, and the length of the day, I can figure out the length of each year. Hopefully, from there, I can figure out just how long this planet has been around. If I ever get back to the Earth I originated from, I can report my findings. However, until then, I need to get back into the town the lavender unicorn took me to.

~~~~~~

Twilight nearly gasped in horror when she saw that the human had returned to Ponyville. It almost looked out of place, standing taller than the ponies surrounding it. They were mobbing it with questions, mostly about life on its home world. She could make out what appeared to be Pinkie Pie asking about sex. Figures, she thought. Pinkie did always seem like the kind of pony that sleeps around. Suddenly, Pinkie appeared behind Twilight.

"It's so cool!" she exclaimed, hopping into the air. Twilight didn't want to tell Pinkie that the human could be dangerous, which would ruin her fun. So, instead, she simply agreed. Twilight turned back to the crowd, and noticed Pinkie standing in front of the human. Startled, she turned back around, but Pinkie wasn't behind her. She's so weird Twilight thought, before returning back to her library.

~~~~~~

Day 2, second entry:

I found the village, but was surrounded by more of the pastel specimens. They were begging to have their questions answered, so I did as they pleased. A particular pink pony stood out, mostly due to her hyper activeness. I was invited into her home, which happened to also be a bakery. (I know where to go if I want to increase my sugar intake.) I also met a very shy winged pony, though I could not make out her name. She spoke very quietly, so I believe I should talk to her alone. I returned back to my shelter in the forest, apparently named the "Everfree" forest. I mapped the route to the village from my shelter, so I may return.