The Friendship Curve

by Slippin_Sweetie

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Discord, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1255

Twilight has been fairly busy as of late, and of course Discord shows up to make her job a lot more difficult.

It's been years since her rise to becoming a Princess and ruling Equestria's throne and on one normal day, Twilight has a report to fill to Princess Celestia, and for whatever reason Discord seems bent on distracting her. See what happens when an unstoppable force collides with an unconvinced Twilight.

Published 2023-05-09 22:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-05-09 22:20:00 UTC

Whenever You Have The Time Take A Look At This Graph For Me...

It’s a quiet day in Canterlot Castle; the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming, and the gentle spring breeze brushes against the trees. But despite the beauty and majesty of the castle garden, beckoning anypony to just get lost in it’s tranquility or the day itself being just right for a picnic or outing. Twilight Sparkle, the ruler of Equestria, the Element of Magic itself, is cooped up inside a dimly lit library deep within the caverns of Canterlot Castle’s basement archives.

Wrapped in a purple blanket and cradling a mug of tea was the Princess herself, tiredly scrawling down a diplomatic report for Princess Celestia and Luna. For their convenience, of course, after all, Twilight had to show-no, prove she was fully capable of ruling Equestria in her capable, diligent hooves.

Twilight stopped writing on the parchment for a moment to look at her hooves, were they actually capable? She stopped to think momentarily; how exactly were her hooves capable? They had no fingers or thumbs like the Yeti or Centaur! Goodness, the thought of her and Celestia’s ponies being at such a disadvantage like that sent a chill up her spine; she needed to write a report immediately-

There’s a dull thud next to Twilight.

“Hm?” she turns to the sound, curious of its origin. Noticing the old book lying flat on its cover on the old stone floor.

“That’s not right…” muttered Twilight, trotting over to the book to examine it, reading the cover, “ ‘Trouble Shoe’s Travelers,’ by Trouble Shoe’s… hm, I ought to give that a read….” A ghost of a smile crosses the mare’s lips at the thought of cracking open a book like this.

Twilight sighed, “Maybe later; I need to finish my report...”

Another thud.

Twilight quickly spun around, seeing another book on the floor, falling right on the exact same spot as the first book.

“What the…” Twilight whispered, trotting over to the newly dropped book, “ ‘Seaponies and you: how to date seaponies as a griffin?” Twilight said, bewildered by the strange coincidence of that book falling out of place; why was that even in the same spot as Trouble Shoe’s book?

A suppressed chuckle echoes throughout the basement.

Twilight scowled, crossing her front legs as she shouted, “Whoever’s doing that, stop it! You’re going to make a mess! I'm very busy today!”

A sudden static noise pierced the dry ambiance as a neon yellow light sparked to life, illuminating the darkened room. Discord suddenly appeared before the Princess, giving the mare a deep bow of overexaggerated respect.

“Ah, if it isn’t my dear friend Princess Twilight Sparkle!” mused Discord as he walked right past her and toward the table she was working at, “I see you’ve been keeping yourself busy, so busy, in fact, you forgot to write….”

Dear Celestia, Twilight felt her heart sink to the bottom of her stomach. She forgot to send a letter to Discord; she knew what that meant-

“You know what that means!” exclaimed Discord as confetti and balloons peppered the air.

“Oh no…” whined Twilight, “Not the,”

“Friendship date!” exclaimed the pair in unison.

“You knew the agreement, you write to us, or you owed us a lunch in, by us, I mean me in this instance.” smiled Discord.

Twilight let out a shallow sigh, “Fine, I’ll take you out to lunch; let me grab my purse….”

“Oh no, no, no, no, I couldn’t just pull you away from your work!” fretted Discord, “I mean, it’s your responsibility as a princess, after all. Why don’t we just have lunch in the castle? Since you prefer being stuck inside all day.”

Twilight rolled her eyes, paying no mind to Discord's snide comment, “Er…all right…” conceded Twilight, giving the creature a suspicious gaze as Twilight cautiously collected her report and ink pens from the table, “Where do you want to eat?”

“Oh! I am so glad you asked,” chortled Discord, “We will be eating in the palace pool!”

“How am I supposed to write a report in a pool!” snapped Twilight.

“I never said you had to get in the pool.” chided Discord.

Twilight rolled her eyes, “Forget it, I’m-” she quickly cut herself off. Seeing that Discord had already teleported the two to the castle’s pool and spa in the blink of an eye.

Discord lazily lounged atop a rubber pool chair as he rested his arms and crossed his legs before laying back, “Ah, this is the life; maybe we should get some daisy sandwiches and tea too!” laughed Discord.

Twilight nearly crumpled her own report in frustration as she ground her teeth. Desperately not wanting to snap at Discord, knowing full well that it would only egg him on. Composing herself, the mare took a deep calming breath before speaking.

“Discord.” she said coolly, “I am very busy right now, and as much as I want to have a pool party with you. I simply do not have the time right now.”

Discord tsk'd, shaking his head, “But I thought you were a mare of your word…how can Equestria trust your word if you can’t even spend an afternoon with me?”

Twilight felt a rush of frustration surge through her as the Princess desperately fought the urge to scream, “Fine! We’ll have a pool party or whatever!”

“You mean it?”

“Yes.” sighed Twilight.

“You really mean it?” leered Discord.

“Yes, Discord,” replied Twilight, more annoyed than before.

“You’re absolutely, positively, sure you’re sure?” Discord said, putting on his best Pinkie Pie impression.

“Yes! I mean it, we’ll have a pool party!” snapped Twilight, realizing her fatal error seconds later.

“Well, why did you say so? I’ll invite everyone!” With one swift snap of his claw, everypony from Pinkie Pie to Trixie appeared in the pool and spa. Already prepared and ready to boogie.

“I may have told everypony I was going to host a party today and may have lost your letter in the mail,” Discord said cutely.

Twilight’s eye twitched in frustration, and her blood ran cold for a moment before a blaze of anger and rage bubbled from her stomach up through her throat, “ALRIGHT, THAT’S IT! EVERYPONY OUT! I HAVE WORK TO DO!”

A collective awe is heard from the crowd.

“I have vital work for the Princesses; even if they aren’t the rulers of Equestria, they need to be in the know about everything!” ranted Twilight, “You’re all interrupting my work!”

Discord said nothing, simply lifting his lion’s paw and gesturing to a far corner of the room in reply. Twilight quickly snapped in that direction, her eyes widening to the size of dinner plates at the sight of Princess Celestia and Luna awkwardly cowering in the magical hot spring desperately trying to avoid Twilight's gaze.

Twilight ducked her head, utterly defeated, as she groaned, “Fine, I get it…alright, I’ll….hang out, I guess.”

“That’s the spirit Twilight!” called Pinkie from the top of the diving board, “Let loose girl!”

“Yeah! Live a little Twilight!” chuckled Rainbow Dash, using a tanning mirror indoors.

“We ain’t gettin’ younger….” grumbled Applejack, looking very uncomfortable in flip-flops.

“Live life to the fullest, right darling?” laughed Rarity as she fluttered her eyelashes in swim goggles.

“Uhm, of course…unless this is a really bad time…” whispered Fluttershy, who was wearing flippers on her hooves.

Twilight smiled, giving Discord an appreciative look as she turned to her friends and family, “Let’s party!” exclaimed Twilight.