I visit the nether regions often
Author's Note
quick note, i just wrote this story for fun because there needs to be more storied of ponies doing dirty jobs.
I visit the nether regions often
In a place called Ponyville in the land of Equestria, there in the middle of town lay the founder’s hospital at the corner of Ponyville and Canterlot. It was one of the first hospitals to be built during the town’s ever growing expansions. The hospital itself had been around for decades now, having seen many ponies come through its doors. Every doctor had their job each with its own perks and great pay, but one of them was at the bottom of the pile.
Being an anal gastroenterologist.
One where Dr. Mare had filled in as part of her rotation. She sighed heavily before looking up from her clipboard into her patient's eyes. "Alright, miss…?" she asked, trying to remember her patient’s name.
"Maud Pie," she said simply.
"I see, well I'm Dr. Mare. what can I do for you today?" she asked, reaching out to take Maud's hoof gently.
"Well, doc, something rock hard entered my poop hole and now I am feeling pain," she said plainly. A look of concern crossed the doc’s face when she heard that. "It feels like something is stuck inside me."
Dr. Mare nodded slowly as she walked around to get a better look. "Maud, sex is okay, but you got to limit yourself to size difference or else your body may react badly," she explained softly.
Maud looked down shyly as she felt Dr. Mare examine her. "Who said anything about sex? I fell and landed my ass on a crystal," she said, sounding a bit embarrassed. "Sorry, doc…"
Dr. Mare chuckled lightly as she pulled back the blanket covering Maud. As she did so she noticed a small lump under Maud’s tailbone. "Looks like it’s still there," she commented. She inserted a scope that allowed her to look in to see what the damage could be. Upon further inspection she could tell this wasn't just any crystal. This particular piece of crystal had been ground finely by some creature’s teeth. The only one who would eat a crystal would be a dragon. And dragons were very rare. "Do you know any dragons, perchance?" Dr. Mare asked.
"I know a dragon, his name is Spike. He's a baby dragon," Maud replied almost immediately.
"I see, was he with you when you fell?"
"Naturally he was, he's always after those loose gems," Maud said matter-of-factly.
"So, how big are these crystals normally?"
"Well, usually they're pretty big, sometimes bigger than my head."
"Alright, well… looking down here, I see the crystal… it’s in there pretty good. I think we should try to expel it. It’s good you came in when you did. If it were any later, then we'd need to go in surgically," the doctor said quietly.
"Okay then," Maud replied, nodding.
Dr. Mare took a super absorbent towel and sat beside Maud. "Now since crystals are not okay for the waste pipes in the toilet, I’ll have to administer an enema here, which means you'll feel full and uncomfortable for a while while we flush out the stone."
"It’s a crystal," Maud said, correcting the doctor, reaching over, and grabbing hold of her bed tightly. "Do whatever it takes, I just want to be in the field again…"
"What do you do exactly, Maud?"
"I mine for ore deposits, particularly gems. It’s my specialty."
Grabbing a water jug and a plastic straw, Dr. Mare started squeezing water into her anus, filling her large intestine with water. "This will make you want to poop lots, so that's why I have the towel. Don't be afraid and just go poop," she told her calmly. "You ready?"
"I'm going to poop right now!" Maud said with a bit of discomfort in her voice.
Dr. Mare nodded and began pumping more water into her bowels, making sure she was completely full. "Push when ready," Dr. Mare instructed.
At that moment Maud pushed hard, releasing the contents of her colon onto the towel below, making farting noises and releasing brown liquid into the towel. Maud moaned loudly as she tensed, letting everything flow out of her. "Oh damn, it hurts!" she cried out. "That hurts! Oh, god, it’s making me feel cramped!!"
Dr. Mare quickly ran off to grab a syringe and a needle. "Here you go, Maud, this will help ease the pain. Now, relax and let it work." she said, handing her the syringe.
Maud nodded and closed her eyes. Her breathing slowed as her body went limp. She continued to push, groaning and moaning till at last a large object fell out of her asshole with the pressure of shit leaving her body. The gem completely missed the towel and hit the floor. With a loud plop, the whole mess hit the tile. "Sorry about that…" Maud groaned as she stood up straight. "Thank you for getting that out." she said, patting Dr. Mare on the shoulder. Maud looked at the crystal examining it. "It looks to be amethyst, maybe 10 carats worth. The bite marks indicate some creature to have been eating it, typically a dragon. The size of the crystal looked like it was 9 inches before it fractured. I'm guessing from the shape of the fracture line that it broke due to impact."
"You're telling me a nine inch crystal almost entered your ass?!" Dr. Mare exclaimed, stunned. "Wow!! Lucky you didn't impale yourself!" she muttered as she picked up the bottle of disinfectant and wiped the area clean. "Thanks again for coming in, Maud. I'm glad you are okay."
“Yeah, no prob. Well, thanks for the enema, too, I guess," she said monotonously. "But I don't suppose you could do another one sometime."
Dr. Mare shook her head, laughing. "Only when it's necessary." Dr. Mare smiled as Maud got dressed, then handed her a new box of pads. "If you ever feel blocked again, come see me first before doing anything else," she finished as Maud turned towards the door.
And Maud left the room, taking the crystal as a souvenir.
Dr. Mare looked behind and began to clean the rest of the puddle of crap on the floor as she reminded herself that as a doctor, she had the world's shittiest job. It didn't take her too long to finish cleaning up the mess, which consisted mostly of fecal matter and blood. She sighed heavily as she picked up the small bag filled with bloody towels, putting them away neatly in the medical cabinet next to the sink. The smell of a bathroom wafted through the room. Even though the room smelled bad, she couldn't help but smile as she remembered what happened earlier.
"This may be a shitty job. But somepony has to do it."
