“Mentos.”
“Mentos!”
“Coke.”
“Coca Cola!”
“Spit.”
“Ew, gross, do I have to?”
Discord, a Unicorn stallion with black and white hair and an impressive goatee raised the safety goggles from off of his head and turned to look at his assistant.
She was pink and Earth Pony looking, wearing her own safety goggles as well as a disgruntled expression.
The two of them were in Discord’s basement laboratory on the outskirts of the little town of Ponyville. The basement was large, probably the largest one in town, but currently anything that would usually be in it was cleared out or shoved to the sides, leaving a big open area. Discord and his assistant sat right in the middle of it.
Discord rolled his eyes. “Pinkie, it’s spit. Almost every creature in Equestria has some in their mouth at all times. It’s not gross.”
But Pinkie did not take his very sound logic and do as he said. Instead, she decided she wanted to be difficult this evening. “But we always use my spit! Why don’t we use some of yours if it’s so not gross, huh?”
He gazed at her flatly. “Because I, my dear, am a Unicorn. And this whole experiment-“ He gestured to the bottle of mentos and soda that was sitting in the middle of his basement, the mentos getting increasingly soggy as they floated, “-needs the catalyst of changeling magic to work. So if I could find some changeling ingredients to put in my potion that would be just wonderful.”
She pouted, hard. Like bringing out the puppy eyes was going to sway his opinion. “Okay so use my hair or something not as gross. There’s other kinds of dna you know.”
“Your hair isn’t real,” he replied, plucking one such curly strand from her head. The moment he did so, however, it shrunk in on itself. and disappeared, “bug ponies don’t have hair. But they do have spit. So spit!”
Pinkie groaned, yes definitely trying to be difficult, but she obediently walked over to the soda.
Discord adjusted his goggles and ducked behind an overturned table. “Run back here once you’ve done it. If my calculations are correct the explosion should be magnificent.”
Pinkie shot him an unsure look but at his insistent hoof motions she finally leaned over and spit in the cup.
Instantly, the soda and candies started to bubble, as if they were boiling.
Pinkie scrambled away from it as quick as she could and practically vaulted over the table to crouch next to Discord.
Just in time too, as not a moment later the liquid hit a breaking point and shot a stream of soda straight into the air like a geyser, covering the ceiling, floor, and most of everything else in sticky syrup.
“Ah ha!” Discord shouted triumphantly, standing up once all of the soda had exited the bottle, “Just as predicted. A chemical reaction of carbon dioxide that builds so quickly it causes an eruption. I would call this experiment an unequivocal success.”
“Yay!” Pinkie added to the celebration, licking soda out of her coat, “So what does that mean?”
“Firstly, stop licking yourself.” He lightly bopped her on the head without even turning to look at her. “That is in fact gross. Secondly, did you notice how nothing happened until you spat in it?”
She ignored his first sentence but hummed acknowledgment to his second as she continued to slurp up the soda. “It didn’t do anything for a long time so I really noticed how much nothing was happening.”
“Right, well, something should have happened.”
Pinkie paused in her soda consumption to look at him in confusion for a moment before her eyes lit up with understanding. “Oh! Is this about your Super Same Theory again?”
“Utter Order Theory, Pinkie, but yes!” Discord pulled a whiteboard he had specifically set up for this very thing out from the corner and whipped the protective sheet off of it with a flourish, getting more syrup on the two of them. “Pegasi have to control every cloud, Earth Ponies make the plants grow, Unicorns control the heavens themselves, and even chemical reactions need outside assistance.”
“But that’s how it’s always been,” Pinkie said with a giggle, used to this lecture by now and playing her part in it with glee, “nothing weird about that.”
“That is where you are wrong!” Discord’s horn lit up with a unique multi-color aura and a book floated over to him. This did not have a protective cover but he didn’t seem to care about it getting decently moist and sticky. “My research has shown that life used to be much more random, much more chaotic. But then something happened. Chaos disappeared.”
“Where did it go?” Pinkie asked, wide-eyed, even though she certainly had to know the answer.
“No one knows,” Discord dropped his voice low, setting the atmosphere, “some say that it was sealed away, trapped in stone where it could not influence anything. Some say it was banished, far away that only the stars could feel its influence. But the theory with the most credibility, to me, is that chaos itself ran away.”
Pinkie gasped over dramatically, hooves to cheeks and eyes opening wide. “But why would it do that? Where would it go?”
“No one knows why. But there’s only one place it could have possibly gone. The one place in all Equestria that isn’t choked by order!” He struck a pose, hoof pointed dramatically in a random direction, since they were inside and a bit turned around. “The Everfree Forest!”
Pinkie clapped like she had just watched a thrilling play. “It’s a super good story but it’s not really a big deal, right? I mean, the Earth Ponies, Unicorns, and Pegaseses are doing a really good job of running everything all orderly.”
“Well, yes,” Discord admitted, a bit reluctantly, “That’s all been sorted out, I’ll admit. But as this experiment has demonstrated, more and more things, like chemical reactions, are starting to fall to this Utter Order.”
“But it worked when I spat into it,” Pinkie pointed out, “So maybe just like the Unicorns have to raise the sun every morning, Changelings have to make all the chemical reactions!”
Discord pretended to think about this. “Hmm, yes, that might just work. Well then, problem solved. You can just go gather up all your changeling friends and start monitoring the chemical reactions. Off you go now.”
Pinkie’s expression slowly fell as he talked until she was staring down at her hooves with a frown. “Oh. I see the problem now.”
“Yes, oh,” Discord said with an eye roll, “trust me, the second I find a single other changeling you will be the first to know, my dear. But! I have a suspicion about that, also.”
“Yeah?” Pinkie said, perking a bit back up as energy entered Discord’s voice again.
“Yes, I’ve figured it out. Chaos has run away, or been banished, or what have you, and Changelings are one of the most chaotic creatures by nature. So, my theory? No chaos no changelings and that is why it seems most of your species has gone extinct.”
Pinkie looked at him with big eyes, trusting but bordering on desperate. “But you’re gonna fix it, right? That’s why we’re doing all these weird experiments? Cause you’re gonna figure out how to fix the Order or… or you’re gonna go bring Chaos back, right?”
Discord’s dramatic posture lessened into something more awkward as he struggled between comfort and honesty. “Um, er, yes. Of course. That’s the plan, at least. It would be simply lovely if Chaos returned to the world.”
Pinkie sniffed and rubbed at her eyes. “I hope so. It would be a lot less lonely.”
Discord cleared his throat and looked at his foreleg, checking his nonexistent watch. “Oh, would you look at the time? I think we’re due for some cookies.”
Pinkie’s ears perked. “Cookies?”
“Well, dinner too, obvious,” Discord said, rocking back on his hooves, “but there’s nothing stopping us from having cookies first.”
“And cupcakes?”
Discord let out an exaggerated sigh. “Yes, yes, cupcakes too.”
Pinkie jumped up, gaining good hang time, not a hint of a frown to be found. “Yay! I’ll go start baking.”
She raced away and up the stairs, leaving Discord chuckling and shaking his head.
His smile quickly dropped once she was out of sight, however, and he got to work magically cleaning the basement. He paused at the stained and dirty book and gently wiped it off.
He had owned it for as long as he could remember, and that time was made obvious by its wear. Doing experiments like this, creating chaos, it was what he loved. With a sigh, he finished up his cleaning and took the book with him back upstairs.
***
Discord could not sleep.
This was very unusual for him as he loved to sleep. Dreams were the only place chaos really shined through and he often used them for inspiration. But today he found himself staring blankly up at the ceiling, listening to the hissing snores of his Changeling roommate in the other bed.
He rolled over and looked at Pinkie. She wasn’t very pink currently. Instead, she was in her real form. A black insect creature with large fangs, small wings, and holes throughout her body.
He knew she didn’t particularly care for this form, said it was too depressing and unfun. But she struggled holding the other images when she slept so the night was one of the few times Discord got to see an actual Changeling.
Probably one of the only ponies to ever do so.
He rolled onto his other side, away from her and facing his large window. Because of his experiments he had chosen a place on the far side of town, barely within the border. And, because of that, he had a clear view of the Everfree Forest from his bedroom.
The Everfree Forest. The one place seemingly in all of Equestria where chaos still existed. Where it was rumored Chaos had fled to, never to be seen again.
Discord stared at the forest. It was dangerous, incredibly so. Few ponies who ever ventured in there came back out. Even living so close to it was considered an incredibly brave move. It was full of monsters of every kind. Ones that would eat you whole, or turn you to stone, or even steal your face.
Discord stared at it. His brow growing more and more creased and his jaw more and more tense as he listened to the wheezy breathing of the lone changeling next to him.
“Buck,” he whispered, “buck. Buck me.”
***
Discord was so stupid. The stupidest pony in all of Equestria. Perhaps even the stupidest creature in all the world!
Here he was, the dead of night, all alone, trotting through the Everfree Forest and making an incredible racket that was sure to attract every deadly predator in the entire forest.
“Helloooo,” he called out, smacking branches out of his face, “are there any changelings out here? Any at all? Hellooooo!”
What did he even think he was doing? What? Did he just expect a changeling to pop out of one of these trees with a grin and welcome him to their hive with open arms? Revealing that their entire race had been alive and thriving all this time?
“I suppose they could be one of the trees,” he mumbled, eyeing a suspicious-looking foliage wearily.
A very loud snap echoed through the forest and Discord froze on instinct, ears perking up and straining to hear more. Stupid stupid stupid.
He took a hesitant step back, then a second, then he could no longer steel his nerves and turned tail, running as fast as he could away from where he thought the sound had come from.
“Stupid stupid stupid Discord!” He berated himself as he ran for, for all he knew, his life. “Yes, just wander into the deadly forest! I’m sure your years of reading books about chaos theory and blowing up soda will surely help with wilderness survival. You great big idioAAAA!”
He tried to skid to a stop as a great big purple shape reared up out of the bushes, directly into his path. The thing was as big as at least three ponies, with bird-like claws and sharp fangs and two purple eyes that got wide when they locked onto his.
“What the haaaaAAAA!” The creature called just before Discord slammed almost full speed into it, sending them both toppling forward and rolling down the hill that they were, unfortunately, on top of.
With a flail of hooves and claws, the two tumbled down the hill, only to land at the bottom in a heap. Thankfully, in a soft pile of green flowers and with Discord on top of the creature.
“Ow,” Discord said, his head spinning as he fought to keep his dinner down.
“Uhg,” the creature under him groaned in a surprisingly feminine voice, “can you get off of me?”
“Oh, right,” Discord said, scrambling to his hooves and off his fuzzy landing pad, “sorry sorry sorry, I didn’t mean to crash into you…uh…”
He trailed off as the creature rose to four legs and shook the impact off. It was tall, with sharp claws and fangs and bright purple everything. But it also seemed to be made up of multiple different creatures. Its front legs were bird-like and its back legs more cat, while its tail was distinctly dragon and its face a creature Discord had never seen before.
Never seen, except in a book.
“Cha-chaos???” He gaped, staring at the Draconequus before him with slack-jawed disbelief.
She looked up from wiping dirt off of her feathery wings, nose scrunching up with confusion. “What? Wait, first off, what is a pony doing in the Everfree Forest? Don’t you know how dangerous it is in here?”
“I-You-here-ah-“ Discord stuttered, unable to form any sentences. He was caught in the feelings of meeting one’s greatest idol, meeting a mythical creature, and seeing a friend who you thought was dead. “You’re Chaos! Right in front of me. You’re here!”
She continued to stare at him blankly for a few seconds before her eyes lit up in recognition and she pinched the bridge of her long nose. “Oh, right. Ponies used to use that name for me. Look, just call me Twilight, okay?”
This threw Discord for a bit of a loop, well, another one. He was already extremely thrown, and not just from the tumble down the hill. “What? Are… are you not the personification of chaos? But you have to be. You’re a Draconequus! Those aren’t exactly creatures you see every day.”
Twilight sighed and waved her clawed limb around vaguely. “Yes? Technically. That doesn’t mean I like being called that like it’s my name. What if I called you ‘pack-animal’? That wouldn’t make you feel very good, would it?”
The personification of chaos was giving him a manners lesson.
“Anyway, what are you doing here?” Twilight continued when Discord did not immediately speak. “The Everfree is no place for a pony. Do you know how many creatures in here would gladly eat you if given half the chance?”
“What am I…” Discord mumbled, confusion giving way to frustration and even anger. He jumped up, spreading his legs in an aggressive stance and glared up at the much taller creature. “What am I doing here? I’m looking for you!” Technically not true, but specifics weren’t his concern at the moment. “Is this where you’ve been? Just… just living in the Everfree?”
Twilight reared back, obviously caught off guard by his sudden aggression. The flowers they were standing on also drew back, retreating into the dirt like they were hiding from the outburst. “Whoa! Yes? I do live here. And one of the reasons I live here is for privacy. So let’s get you back to whatever village you came from and we can both forget you ever came in here.”
She moved to gently grab him but he skirted out of the way before she could touch him. “No! Absolutely not. Do you have any idea what has happened since you disappeared? Have you left the forest since you vanished?”
Twilight rolled her eyes, as if she was already bored with the conversation. “No, funnily enough. It seems that leaving society means actually leaving it. Who would have thought?”
Discord was stunned. “You… you actually did run away. No banishment, no curse. You just left!”
“Yep,” Twilight said, popping the ‘p’, “congratulations. You can go write about your grand discovery in your memoir. But you won’t have one of those unless you get out of this forest. So why don’t-“
“You selfish jerk!”
Twilight’s brow furrowed as she stood up a little straighter. “Excuse me?” It seemed as if the forest got darker, trees leaning in, bushing growing thornier. As if the very air around them was bristling.
But Discord would not be intimidated. “Years of study! Of wondering what had happened. Years of pain and confusion and it was all because you decided to run away. What kind of stupid narcissist just abandons everyone like that? Their people? Their subjects? Their world? What, did you just get bored? Life wasn’t good enough for you so you had to take all the chaos for yourself and stuff it into one forest? You greedy little-“
“Listen you… you…” Twilight sputtered, her nostrils flaring as she rose up onto her hind legs. “You don’t have a clue what you’re talking about! Chaos is dangerous. I left to protect every pony! Do you think I wanted to? Do you think I liked knowing my very essence put people through misery? I had to leave!”
“Misery? Everyone is miserable now! Life is a stagnant pile of crap where every little action is controlled.”
“That’s a good thing!” The forest was almost convulsing now. Dark clouds gathered overhead, the sound of birds and insects echoed around them, and plants seemed to be growing or shrinking in random bursts.
“It sure in Tartarus is not!” Discord was bellowing now. He didn’t care if the creature in front of him smote him where he stood. He didn’t care if the forest swallowed him whole. There were years of studious rage buried deep inside him and now it had a target. “You’re just shuffling your job onto everyone else’s back. I bet you did it because you’re too lazy to deal with it. You just don’t care about anyone but yourself!”
Thunder crashed and faster than he could track Twilight’s claw reached out and snatched him by the scruff of the neck. He dangled in midair as razor-sharp teeth bared inches from his face. “Shut up! Shut up, you don’t understand a thing you’re talking about! Shut! Up!”
“Leave him alone!”
Both Discord and Twilight were caught off guard as a small black shape came hurtling out of the trees and latched itself onto Twilight’s face.
Everything froze. Twilight didn’t move, the animals didn’t make a sound, and even the wind and the clouds seemed static.
“P-Pinkie?” Discord broke the silence, still clutched in Twilight’s grip. He waved his hooves at the Changeling that was currently hanging from her fangs that she had sunken into the Draconequus’ snout. “What in Equestria are you doing here?”
Pinkie mumbled something completely unintelligible in response.
Twilight, despite being actively bitten, only seemed confused by the situation. It looked like she wanted to still be angry but too much of her was caught up in stunned disbelief to save any space for rage.
Numbly, she placed Discord back on the ground and then reached up and carefully pried Pinkie’s jaw out of her nose. Discord cringed, expecting there to be blood, but Twilight’s face simply sprang back into place like a squeezed balloon.
The Draconequus, with a furrowed brow, regarded the Changeling she now held. “What?”
“Don’t eat my dad!” Pinkie said, glaring her big blue eyes up at Twilight. She didn’t seem particularly intimidated by the mismatched creature.
Discord sputtered, thrown by the statement. “Wait, hold on. I am not your dad.”
Pinkie squirmed and was able to easily break free of Twilight’s hold and toppled to the ground. More green flowers growing quickly to break her fall. “I know he’s grumpy and can put his hoof in his mouth a lot but he’s a good dad and you can’t eat him. Besides, he doesn’t even taste that good anyway.”
“I’m not your dad!” Discord repeated. He turned to Twilight, like he needed to explain himself to the big purple chaos monster. “I’m not her dad. She’s my assistant! Who lives in my house and is a young orphan… No. Stop. More importantly, what are you doing here, Pinkie?”
“I’m rescuing you!” Pinkie said, proudly. “I saw you come in the forest super late so I followed you in case you needed my help and, boy, did you ever.”
“Are you a Changeling?” Twilight interrupted in almost stupefied disbelief, completely, and rudely, ignoring their conversation.
“Uh,” Pinkie hesitated for a moment but then seemed to make a decision. She bared her teeth and lowered her head, scraping at the flowers she was standing on like a bull getting ready to charge. “Yeah, that’s right! I’m a big scary bug monster and I’m gonna drain all your love if you even think of hurting my dad.”
“Where is this dad stuff coming from?” Discord asked, almost a whine, “Please, if you insist on having a familial relationship with me at least let it be an older brother type deal.”
“Why are you black?”
Both Pinkie and Discord paused at this comment. Twilight was staring at Pinkie with a look of concern and frustration. The forest was reacting again. Purple spots were appearing on trees, bushes were twisting themselves into wild shapes, and the clouds were starting to form a checkered pattern overhead.
Pinkie blinked up at her. “Oh my gosh. You can’t just ask somepony why they’re black.”
Discord face hoofed.
Twilight rounded on him, the anger back and thunder rumbled once more. “You said you lived with her? What have you been doing to her?”
“Wha? Me?” Discord gasped, thrown once again in much too short of an interaction. “What I’ve been doing to her? You should be asking what she’s been doing to me! Takes advantage of my hospitality, breaks half my experiments, I even let her feed off my love. I am an amazing host and she’s been freeloading off of me for years.”
“And it tastes like dad love,” Pinkie chimed in to back up his claim.
Discord glared at her. “Shush you.”
Twilight was baring her teeth again. “Then why, pray tell, is she starving?”
Discord looked at Pinkie in confusion, expecting to see the expression mirrored back to him.
Instead, Pinkie was frozen. She stared at Twilight with wide, almost scared eyes, and Discord was sure if she didn’t have an exoskeleton she would be paling.
“Pinkie?” Discord said, his voice dropping to be much softer, “What is she talking about? I told you you could take as much love from me as needed. You’ve been doing that, yes?”
When she spoke, Pinkie’s voice was a quiet squeak and it wasn’t directed at Discord. “How do you know about that?”
“What?” Discord exploded, fear actually hitting him for the first time since meeting Twilight. “What do you mean? Starving? How are you starving?”
Twilight ignored him to gesture vaguely at Pinkie’s entire body. “Just look at you. You’re black, full of fangs and holes, your wings are completely exposed and tattered. Your body is shutting down and in survival mode.”
Pinkie looked down at herself, raising a hoof experimentally to really examine the holes in her legs. “But… this is what Changelings look like, isn’t it?”
Twilight nodded, though she didn’t look happy. In fact, a light drizzle had started to fall. “Yes. When they are starving.”
“Pinkie.” Discord placed a hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder, prompting her to look at him and finally acknowledge his worried expression. “Why did you never tell me about this? If my love wasn’t enough for you we could have found more. Everyone in town adores you. I could have even found a way to make more, if it had to come to that.”
Pinkie shrugged helplessly. “It wouldn’t have helped, I don’t think. Nothing ever helps. No matter how much I eat it’s just… it’s always there. Eventually I stopped trying. I… I figured that’s just what being a Changeling was. Constant…” Tears fell from her eyes, mixing with the gentle rain and she sniffled and rubbed at them with the back of a hoof. “I hate being a Changeling.”
“Okay, okay,” Twilight was rubbing at her eyes with her palms, “so how did you get to be like this? Did no other Changeling ever explain to you giving love or did something specific happen?”
“Did something…other Changelings…” Discord whirled on the Draconequus, his early righteous anger coming back with a fury. “I’ll tell you what happened! Chaos disappeared from the world! Decided that it had enough and just toddled off to live alone in the woods. And you know what the most chaotic creatures are?The creatures most in tune with random change? Why, I’ll give you one guess.”
This time, Twilight didn’t seem angry by Discord’s outburst. Instead, she looked only shocked, confused, and horrified. “I… no… that’s… that can’t be true. My absence shouldn’t have…” She trailed off, chewing on her talon as she stared off at nothing. But then she shook her head and set her jaw with determination. “It… it doesn’t matter. That’s not the most important thing right now.”
Discord’s teeth clenched together. “How, pray tell, could it not be?”
Twilight shot him a glare and pointed a talon at Pinkie. “Because the most important thing is making your friend stop starving.” She turned around, flicking her tail towards them. “Come on, I have something that can make it easier.”
Discord and Pinkie glanced at each other. Discord completely pissed off and Pinkie uncertain. After a moment, Pinkie trailed after her and Discord followed silently behind.
They did not have far to go, which was good since no one seemed in any mood to talk.
After a few minutes of walking the trees opened up to reveal a cave carved into the bottom of a mountain. Discord had not even been aware there were caves in the Everfree Forest, let alone mountains. In fact, as he looked up he noticed that the rest of said mountain was hidden by a thick layer of low-hanging clouds.
Half of him suspected there wasn’t anything actually in those clouds.
Rare for caves, this one looked practically inviting. The thing started out normal enough for the first few steps, stone and stalactites and puddles of water, but then after a bit the stone walls became different colors, like wallpaper was bleeding through. The floor became as soft as carpet, and the stalactites slowly started to more and more resemble pieces of furniture.
Eventually, this transformation ended in the back of the cave looking like a completely average living room.
Discord was a bit disappointed.
Twilight patted the green couch that was sitting in the middle of the purple room and gestured toward Pinkie. “Lay here. I’ll make you some tea.”
Pinkie did as she was told, hopping up onto the tall couch and sitting down. Discord sat next to her, taking a look around the cave-slash-room as Twilight busied herself in a far corner.
“Nice place you got here,” he said as sarcastically as he could, “very orderly.”
Twilight turned a stink eye at him over her shoulder. When they locked eyes her brow knit and she flicked her tail at him. “No, not you. Get down from there.”
Now Discord really scowled. “Excuse you. Just because we’ve had a rather rough introduction doesn’t mean you can shoo me off of your furniture like a disobedient pet.”
Twilight rolled her eyes and turned back to whatever she was doing. “It’s not like that. You just won’t want to be near her, trust me.”
Discord and Pinkie exchanged a glance and it was Pinkie Pie who spoke up.
“Excuse me Miss bird lizard lion-“
“Twilight, just call me Twilight.”
Pinkie shifted on the couch, which squeaked a bit beneath her like it was old. A magically generated couch being old. “Miss Twilight, Ma’am, what exactly are you going to do to me?”
Twilight turned around, now holding a glowing pink vial in one of her claws. “I’m going to help you. It just causes a bit of a light show is all, but I promise you’ll feel immensely better afterwards.”
Pinkie looked back at Discord. Silently asking for his advice. Or permission.
He scoffed and got down off the couch. “Fine, do what you can. But if you hurt her anymore than you already have then… then I’ll feed you poison joke tea until you turn into a pony or something.”
Pinkie giggled at that while Twilight looked thoroughly unimpressed. She handed the vial to Pinkie who clasped it in both of her front hooves.
“Now this will make the process easier but you can’t only drink the potion,” Twilight instructed. She waved a claw at Discord. “Now you love Mr. Angry Shouting over there don’t you?”
“Discord!” Discord corrected. “My name is Discord. You know, after chaos?”
Pinkie giggled again and nodded. “I do! He took me in when I was just a little grub and he let me stay in his house and eat all his love and make messes any time I wanted.”
Discord rolled his eyes and tried to keep the embarrassed blush down. “Please, you’re making me sound like some kind of saint. Having a Changeling around was just convenient is all.”
Twilight ignored him and continued to talk to Pinkie. “Good. Now I need you to concentrate on that. On your love for Discord. Can you do that?”
Pinkie nodded eagerly, though Discord wasn’t sure if she actually understood what she was being instructed to do. Discord himself wasn’t sure what she was being instructed to do.
Twilight, at least, seemed to accept Pinkie’s response. “Okay, now I need you to focus on that love, drink this potion, and then give it.”
Now Pinkie looked confused. “Give you back the potion? After I drink it?”
“You can’t have your potion and drink it too,” Discord added with a grin.
“No, not the potion,” Twilight stressed, “you need to give your love. To him, to me, it doesn’t matter.”
Pinkie looked… uncomfortable and started shifting more restlessly on the couch. “Um, Miss Twilight, love is my food, remember? If I give it all away I’ll get even more hungry.”
“And you said you were going to help her,” Discord reminded, all traces of humor gone from his voice.
“I am helping,” Twilight said, exasperated, “trust me, I know it sounds counterintuitive but I promise it will make your life infinitely better.”
Discord set his jaw, not trusting the purple Draconequus in the slightest. “Pinkie, don’t-”
But Pinkie wasn’t listening, she was already downing the drink like her life depended on it.
“Pinkie!” Discord called, more with chastisement than concern. At least, that was until Pinkie started to glow with an intense light and floated up into the air.
Discord scrambled backward, eyes going wide. “Gah! What…what is happening? What did you do?”
Twilight was also backing up, keeping one arm extended to shield Discord. “It’s fine. I know it looks intense but it’s all going to be okay.”
Discord managed to wrench his gaze away from his exploding assistant to gawk at Twilight. “It’s fine? That looks the farthest thing from fine! What was in that drink?”
Twilight shrugged helplessly, obviously off put by Discord continuing to yell at her. “Raw Chaos magic. It helps the process go faster.”
“The process of what? Kil-”
“Discord!”
Discord was cut off by a pink missile crashing into his chest. The two rolled across the room until they were stopped by the far wall, Discord on the bottom of the sudden pony pile. He groaned and looked up to see a bright pink bug creature standing on his back and grinning like a maniac.
“Pinkie?” He asked, dizzily. Because there was only one creature alive that could smile like that.
“Look at me!” She said, ecstatically, “Look, look, look! I’m pink. Like, for real pink not just me putting on a disguise pink. I don’t have a disguise on at all!”
And she certainly was pink. She was still, noticeably, a changeling. Same hard exoskeleton, same pupilless insectoid eyes, same small curled horn. But now instead of holes in her legs, they looked smooth and healthy. Instead of fangs, she sported a pleasant, average smile, and instead of black, her entire body was bright pink.
Discord sat gaping at her for a moment as he struggled to find his words. “How… how did this… what did…? He cleared his throat and shook his head, restarting. “Pinkie, how do you feel?”
She took a deep breath, like she was trying to suck all the oxygen out of the room, and exclaimed, “I feel absolutely positively amazing!” She sprang into the air, wings much bigger than before buzzing out of what looked like a protective shell on her back. Doing a few celebratory loops in the air as she continued, “I didn’t know you could feel this good. I don’t feel hungry or weak at all. And the holes in my legs are gone. I didn’t even realize those were bugging me until they weren’t around anymore. Hehe, bugging me, get it?”
Discord could only stare. Pinkie was, in general, a very happy creature. But he had honestly never seen her this happy. She seemed absolutely bursting with joy.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” Twilight said, sighing a bit in relief, “now that that’s out of the way I can once again kindly ask you two to leave this dangerous forest and go back to your own home.”
“What?” Pinkie said, holding the word out as she clasped her hooves to her cheeks, “We can’t leave yet! I have to thank you for helping me. I’ve gotta throw you the biggest bestest party in all of Ponyville. No, all of Equestria. No! The world.”
“Thank you, but there’s no need.” Twilight began ushering the two of them back toward the entrance of her cave, “you can thank me by not telling anyone you found me when you go back home.”
Discord dug his hooves in. “Oh, no no no. We are not about to just leave you to continue playing hermit in the woods. Equestria needs you!”
Twilight huffed with clear frustration. “Trust me, it really doesn’t.”
“Oh, but it does!” Pinkie Pie turned around and put her newly solid hooves on the Draconequus’ chest, causing Twilight to rear her head back as Pinkie tried to touch snouts with her. “I needed your help more than I even realized. And then you gave it and look at all the good it did. I feel so amazing and grateful and… and it never would have happened without you.”
“I…” Twilight seemed frozen, unable to look away from the healed changeling, “...chaos is dangerous… I can’t…”
“Why would you think that?” Discord asked, trying to keep his tone under control even as he continued to play bad cop. “Chaos is wonderful. I meant what I said earlier about Changelings being the most chaotic of creatures. Because Chaos isn’t just random chance. It’s change.”
“Because change is dangerous.” Twilight was whispering hoarsely now, as if there was something caught in her throat. “Change, chaos, it’s a fire devastating a forest. It’s the tides wearing away the sand until there is nothing left. It is a little colt, my best friend, dying in a storm. The world is better when it’s controlled by ponies. The world is safer and ponies are happier. Change brings pain.”
Pinkie had lowered back onto all fours by now. Her ears tilted back as she looked at Twilight with overwhelming sympathy.
Even Discord had to flinch at the raw emotion now covering the room and when he spoke again it was with a gentler tone. “But change is also what brings new life into the world. Change forges the strongest of bonds. Change helps ponies grow and mend. Change heals.”
Tears were running down Twilight’s face as her head dipped to the floor. She looked up at him, silently, sorrow and self-hatred shining as brightly as the sun.
Discord stared at her for a moment before taking a deep breath and backing away. “Come on, Pinkie. It’s time for us to go home.”
“Huh?” Pinkie’s head whipped back and forth between Twilight’s sunken features and Discord’s already retreating tail. “W-wait, we can’t leave yet. We still need to get Twilight to come back with us!”
Discord glanced over his shoulder at her but didn’t turn around. “I would love for her to come with us, I really would. I think it would do all of Equestria and her some good.” He shrugged, as if it didn’t matter to him anymore. “But I have dedicated my life to Chaos and the one thing that Chaos isn’t is control. Try as I might, I can't control the fact that I age or that you’re suddenly taller. And it wouldn’t be right for me to try.” He nodded to the sullen Draconequus who was staring at him intently. “I can’t control what she chooses to do. No matter how much I might want to. So, we’ve said our piece, and now it’s time to leave.”
Pinkie bit her lip as Discord waited for her expectantly. The Changeling turned around and wrapped her forelegs around Twilight’s snake-like middle. “Thank you,” Pinkie said, eyes closed tight as she hugged with everything she had, “thank you for making me happy. I hope you can be happy, too, someday.”
Twilight lifted a talon off the ground but before she could do any more than that Pinkie released her and zipped back over to Discord.
“Goodbye Twilight,” Discord said, turning away and continuing to walk out of the cave, Pinkie following by his side, “I too hope that you find happiness in your choices. Because all of our choices, even this one you’re making, bring Chaos.”
Twilight watched them go blankly and continued to stare after them even as they disappeared.
Shakily, she took a deep, rattling breath and wiped at her eyes with the back of her talon. Then she picked herself off the floor and moved towards the entrance. “Wait! Wait, let me show you the way out of the forest.”
Author's Note
A small part of my brain: Blast, you think you can write one story without Pinkie in it? This story would work just as well with literally any other character playing the changeling role.
Every other part of my brain in unison: PINKIE PINKIE PINKIE PINKIE!
