The Most Curious Case.

by Skulky Scoot

Rating: mature
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Anon, Porn, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Fetish, Romance, Sex, Profanity, Derpy Hooves
Length: 13436

What can a stallion and his boyfriend do when all the mare's in town gossip about their relationship? Go out dancing, of course.

R63 Derpy has fallen for his human lover, finally securing his dream boyfriend after years of confusion. Almost immediately however, their relationship becomes a fixation for the gossiping Ponyville.

Can they break free of stigma and be a happy couple? Must they remain forever secret with their love? The town's silliest stallion must now decide.

CW: Insensitive depictions of male homosexuality, dirty talk, feminization, human/stallion relations, voyeurism and horrible comedy.

Cover art belongs to JedaySkayVoker on deviant art. Used without permission, will be removed upon request.

Published 2022-12-07 04:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-05-09 11:25:48 UTC

Part 1.

The Most Curious Case.
Part 1.

Peaceful Equestrian sunlight washed over the cool landscape of Ponyville early this morning, the rising sun shining bright over the far off mountains hidden by royal castles. Its warmth banished the chill of Autumn night, dispersing it into a thick and foggy haze that hid in the dark spaces between houses and underneath stone foundations. The smell of wet pine and dying leaves filled the nose, shifting through houses and letting all know that Winter’s brunette sister had made her entry.

All of this natural beauty and relaxing calm meant nothing to Derpy. He couldn’t care less if the crisp winds blew with just the right amount of relaxing cold. It never occurred to him that the special fall-time cider bubbled and steamed at the market, begging for its concoction of cinnamon, clove and alcoholic zing to be indulged. And he most certainly didn’t mind the crunch of crisp leaves scattered on the cobblestone. His silly mind was troubled only by the taste of human, the heat of contact and the softness of flesh.

Tucked under your blankets and holding close to your body atop a rather small bed, the stallion amused himself with a bit of exploration. His snout burrowed between the folds of your alien mass, absorbing the masculine bite of your scent. He sniffed gently and continuously like an excited pup discovering a delicious treat. Flaring nostrils pulled in the warm and stagnant air about you, its flavor toxically washing over his brain and sapping away any ability for complex thought. He bathed in your scent for the last several nights, but it still wasn’t nearly enough to satiate his addiction.

Your chest was firm and stable to lay on, carrying a mild flavor of you in tiny little whiffs to catch a pony’s attention. Your belly was smooth and soft to the touch, but never so fatty that Derpy found it off putting. Hips covered by boxers were fun to press his face against, indulging in the dirty thrill of sniffing your underwear after certain fluids had stained the plaid pattern and darkened it somewhat.

Shimmying down your snoozing body as the morning light illuminated the sleepy world, Derpy couldn’t stop himself from taking in the hedonistic delight of such an act. He was drowning in the heat of two bodies sharing a bed, the heavy cotton blankets on his head trapping it all together in a dervish of salty, testosterone-rich funk that set off sparks at the base of his brain. His wings shivered and pushed against the squeezing cocoon of sheets and comforters keeping out the cold that leeched into your modest little home, a perfect restraint for the very unrestrained thing he was about to do.

“Hmmmm… you smell so good, Anon. You smell just like a stallion.” He hummed into your package as his snout rested against the pert and bugly mound. His chin nestled comfortably between your thighs as his nostrils huffed concentrated whiffs of your manhood, bathing in your unique mix of hormones and aromas until he could recognize it like a familiar face. One sniff was never satisfactory, no matter how deep and hard and flavorful it might’ve been. The stallion whimpered and hummed as he buried his snout into your groin, resting your limp shaft across his snout and kissing at the warm material separating him from your fertile and churning sack.

“Mmph… you’re full again? My boyfriend’s big, juicy nuts get so full of cum so fast~. You need babygirl to drain these so often!” He whispered into your gonads and licked at the rounded shape hidden just beneath the surface. They were indeed precious jewels to him, for they were not only part of you but the sensitive organ that contained your warm batter. A hot cocktail Derpy had grown deeply addicted to, whether it was squirt into the back of his throat, across his face or injected deep inside his jiggly rump. The memory of the last month formed together into one climax after another, load after load on a near-nightly basis delivered inside his belly and left there to stew and breed his submissive doughnut. Had the pegasus known earlier that there was little in life that could compare to the raw satisfaction of having a stallion orgasm inside his raw asshole, he would’ve been a desperate and girly slut long before this.

Not to say you two hadn’t made up for lost time. Even now the mail stallion could feel the slight pangs of soreness in his bowels, a clenching rectum of strengthening muscles gripping at the painful void inside and silently begging for something to fill it. The act was demanding to practice and it was intensely difficult to master. You never once pressed him to do it either, since it was simply beyond you to force such an adorable and loyal little thing to debase himself if he had no desire to. A pounding was only enjoyable if the clapping mountain of equine twink below moaned just as much as you did.

But with his lips mouthing at your cock and playfully bringing it to erection yet again this morning, “force” was never required. Derpy wanted nothing more than to be a bottom. Your bottom. He loved to be complimented, to be loved, to be cared for and desired so much that a stallion would drop everything he was doing just to lavish him with attention. Before he was just a simple silly-headed stallion hoisting packages here and there all day everyday. But now, he was whistled to in the streets. He was spanked on his way out the door. And he had a human ready and willing to be with him any time the lonliness might strike. He hadn’t even slept in his own house for the past few days, choosing instead to bunk with you for however long you would host. There was no expectation of ever needing to pay for the privelge, sexual or otherwise. But he took sizable pride in repaying your hospitality by submitting himself to your bottomless hunger for passionate, noisey and sticky sex with the fruity stud.

Whenever you pressed your groin against him, fondled his growing buttocks or kissed him, it was more fuel for his raging fire. He saw nothing but profit in this venture, a constant feedback loop of pleasing and being pleased. Somehow this humble stallion had every fantasy that might’ve crossed his mind fulfilled in the space of a month. Somehow he had been given a stallion that would treasure him and love him and praise him until he was a panting mess on the floor with his succulent ass aimed upwards for another savage fucking. His physical needs were satisfied on your spear of manhood, his emotional needs met every night on your couch. He simply wanted to be with you and wanted you to be with him, sex or no.

But of course, sex was never turned down.

“Mmrrrrhnnn… you’re so hard already. Are you dreaming about your marefriend again? Are you thinking about pumping my rump with your cum again? I hope so… I’d let you pump me right now if you were awake. My pussy was made for you~.” He mumbled to himself as the memories of a particular night came flooding back to him, one where he felt nothing short of utter pride in himself. You were dead asleep after a hard day at work, extending an invitation for him to come over, make pizza and "chill." Derpy gladly obliged you, snuggling his sizable cheeks against your groin and acting as a vital sleep aid.

It wasn’t two hours later when he found himself getting dry humped in the night, your erection straining your boxers and squirting thick lines of excitement without you ever realizing. It was such an intense night, laying there and pressing back against you, squeezing with his cheeks whenever you dared stop.

“Ah~... A- Anon? Are you- MMPH~?! Oooooh… you wanna stick it inside me? Please… go ahead. I like it when you hold me down like this~.” He coaxed you quietly to keep going, to keep using him however you pleased and hump to your heart’s content. He knew you were asleep, he knew you would do the same thing when you were awake, but the idea of your subconscious mind lusting for him struck reverberating chords deep in his heart. It took every last piece of his restraint not to wake you up and take a sleepy pounding in the night.

“Hrrrn… Derpy… my babygirl…” You drooled in your sleep, holding him about the chest and rythmically sliding your cock across his ass. The very memory made him shutter and flap his erection against his belly, begging to be held lovingly molested like that again.

“Anon~ I could worship you. I love you. I love this dick. I love your cock. Your fat cock~...” Derpy’s newly expanded vocabulary had come in handy when talking dirty to himself. Words such as dick and cock and boy pussy were delightfully dirty on the tongue, leaving his lips feeling like they were soaked with a unique, adult sludge. Pungent and harsh words that perfectly matched his feelings for you, especially when those words turned against him. Having his rump called your pussy, your cock-sleeve, your womb made butterflies tingle inside the stallion’s chest, then set them alight with blazing arousal. He never imagined someone could want him like this, let alone his round, bulbous and musky behind. But you had proven him wrong with great effort, licking and fingering and kissing and holding and worshipping his plush seat whenever the opportunity so presented itself. He absentmindedly pushed it up into the air when he smelled your familiar musk, his hole clenching and relaxing in time with your thumping and hardening shaft.

“Anon’s penis… smells so good~. I love having it inside me. My pussy loves Anon’s dick. I love making Anon’s cock cum with my pussy~.” He repeated the mantras again and again and again, preaching them like dogma. There was no room for doubt or distrust here, as any void within Derpy was now stuffed with cock, cum and thoughts thereof. He adored his new life, half spent living like any normal pony whilst the other half he spent as a goddess of fertility and affection and sex. It was all so dirty, yet so natural and wholesome. Sometimes it was difficult to believe the same human that slobbered on his asshole, ejaculated hot ropes of sperm down his throat and made him cum buckets of excitement was the same man that took him to dinner and held his hoof by the lake and kissed him goodnight every evening without fail.

“Mmmmh… perfect cock. Perfect for my fat pony pussy.” A rush of light broke his concentration. The shroud of blankets pulled up in a fluffy rush of air, illuminating the naughty stallion mid-way through mouthing your manhood. His eyes shot open and his drool pooled around your penis, soaking into your boxers and answering the mystery of what on Earth was so wetting your undercarriage so. You and him met eyes in the moment, sparking a wry grin on your face and a deep blush on his.

“Pfft… thought I was going nuts for a sec.” You grumbled tiredly, peeking Derpy’s attention with the mention of ”nut.” He wriggled bashfully and concealed himself somewhat behind your growing erection, averting his good eye away from your prying gaze.

“Mmh… g- good morning.” He answered with his lips still formed about your shaft. His ears pinned back against his skull, this being the first time he was caught toying with you in the morning.

“Good morning to you too, ya little pervert.” Assuaging his fears of reprisal you reached down and grabbed hold of the pudgy stallion. Strong hands gripped beneath his arms and pried him out of the grotto of musk and heat, forcing him upwards and into your grasp. The pegasus was remiss to be parted from your genitals’ company, but a kiss right on the lips and a broad chest to lay on weren’t bad susbtitutes.

“Sorry about that, Mr. Anon. I was-” You hushed him with a kiss on the snout, your grip about him tightening like a snake trying to crush its prey.

“No worries, Babygirl. Ain’t no harm in exploring.” He giggled at your gruff voice as it tingled within his skull, the inviting warmth of a reclined man pulling him in until his head rested against your shoulder. Consequently his erection lay across your belly, running all the way from your ribs to your pubis in a veiny, ebony pillar of pleasure. You adored feeling the contrast of warm fur and hot flesh on you, especially since Derpy had no intention to control himself. His morning wood was somehow worse than your own. Every single night you spent together he woke up not only stiff as a board but horny as a college bachelor.

Not that you were complaining, of course. It just made it rather difficult to get up, make your coffee and take your shower when a desperate pony was pressing his asshole against you and smearing his boner across your body. Ponies around town had already noticed your modified “aroma,” as the predatory primate pheramones were slowly painted over by peaceful equine cocktails. Derpy’s smell was both masculine and feminine, a soft fur flavor mixed with the sugary notes of a woman’s body. A maddenly delightful scent that you found soaked into your covers, your mattress and many of your clothes. The pony’s ass was the most potent of all these scents, combining it all into a far more complex and raunchy aroma that shut off your brain until only the horny and primal thoughts remained. The moment he discovered you enjoyed that smell, he took to scrubbing his bare hole against you when he was needy, leaving a sign of his claim over you.

Even now, he was invasively nuzzling against you and gently rocking his hips, signalling that he was in need again. It was a full time job to keep up with the stallion’s sex drive, but you figured that’s what a lifetime of never being taken care of did to a pony. He was in need of medicine and you were the doctor dolling out daily doses of cock and cum and affection, slowly but surely curing him of this insatiable itch. If anything else, it was adorable to see him so rapidly expand from an ignorant little thing into a sex-crazed pervert constantly molesting you and spouting off his newfound favorite words whenever he could.

“Hrrmph… you smell good this morning.” He added into your chest with a baritone hum, his ears twitching as you stroked his head and combed through his mane.

“You sleep okay, Babygirl? I didn’t keep you up, did I?” You asked cautiously, as sometimes the stallion seemed just as exhausted in the morning as he did the night before. It wasn’t really your fault, as he enjoyed his night-time humping and sucking, but it was still something you felt concerned about. He simply nodded and adjusted himself against you, smooching your cheek and whispering hushed words into your ear.

“Can we… do it again? Please? Can you put your thick cock inside my pussy, Anon?” He whined more than spoke, grinding himself against you and flexing his back to show off his bubbly ass. The words instantly dulled your senses and sent spirals of energy toward your manhood, one that bumped and throttled against Derpy’s far larger heft.

“Someone’s excited this morning.” You said with a smile, quickly finding that Derpy licked up your neck in a desperate plea for attention. He was so adorably addicted, but that was to be expected from a freshly minted boy-wife. This was far from your first rodeo.

“I promise I’ll be real quick. You can cum inside my pussy if you want. You can squirt it in my face again too. B- but I really just need you inside me right now, Anon. Please, please, please? Nut in your marefriend again?” He ended his sentence with another lick across your jaw, the horny little creature shivering at the incredible prospect of getting pounded once again.

“Hm… you make a pretty tempting offer there, Babygirl.” You huffed and pinned him in place against you, holding his chin with a free hand and making him look you in the face.

“But… if I do this, you have to do something for me. Okay?” He nodded instantly, completely indoctrinated into this role of submissive meat for human males to drill. His stray eyes watered with anticipatipation and affection, staring at you as peasents stared up at royalty.

“You have to moan real loud for me. Okay? I want to hear how much you love it. And then I want a big fat nut out of you. No more of this not cumming thing.” His teeth sunk into his lip as you subtly pressed into his belly, smushing your cocks together in a heated sandwhich of man and stallion.

“Y- yes. Yes please. Anything for you.” He whimpered and kissed your hand, licking at your fingers as if they were your pumping girth.

“Good girl. You know your boyfriend loves it when you cum too. Good girls do what they’re told. Isn’t that right?” He nodded dumbly as you sat up in the bed and shifted the gravity of the mattress. Derpy’s body went soft and limp as a boiled noodle in that moment, his form yours to manipulate however best suited your pleasure. He shuddered and whimpered when your strong hands took hold of his legs and his barrel, adjusting this and bending that until he felt wonderfully exposed.

“Anything you say, Anon! I- I’ll do anything you want! I’m your sexy mare! I’m all yours!” He blubbered with a growing smile as you laid him across a pillow. The cushion supported his hips and lifted them up just enough to accent his naturally beautiful ass, the same cushion guiding his cock down and inbetween his legs like a pulsing arrow pointing toward his goal. For being such a bottom he had a gorgeous shaft, fat and tightly wrapped balls sitting just below his smooth taint like dark colored fruits. They could breed a hundred mares and still have enough spunk left over for you, yet they were tamed into this hopeless Queen of a pony that bent over at the slightest command. The platter of ass and cock was open to you without question, Derpy casting his eyes back in favor of watching you.

“Mmmh, a- anything for you. Anything for my handsome, sexy, big dick boyfriend~~~.” Derpy cooed in a sing-song manner as you stroked and kissed his buttocks, praising him for the obedience he so eagerly displayed. The feel and weight and heat of his backside never ceased to amaze you, especially when it was pressed against your face and molding into your fingers. Grabbing him and playing with his buttocks proved infintiely entertaining, from spreading his ass and making him squeal to squeezing the hocks of fat tight and making him moan. Dirty and raunchy delight came in watching his overworked and wrinkled hole pucker and suckle for you, the desperate sleeve always ready and willing to be stretched by your shaft. You could spread it wide enough to see pink with his cheeks alone, molding and mashing them about so his fat doughnut-shaped pussy would bend and pinch and flex for you as if begging for another load of hot cum inside it.

That was his prefered manner of praise, having his most treasured part slobbered over by his boyfriend and made useful with pounding sex until it hung open like a busted screen door. But the rest of him was equally worthy of praise, in your opinion. Invasively your lips fell to his nuts and placed gentle kisses on their surface, making him hump and squeeze his thighs together self-consciously.

“Oh! Mmph! Anon- nnngh~!” He resisted at first but fell prey to his own inclincations. If his boyfriend wanted to play with his balls, then so be it. It didn’t matter if he was insanely craving another batch of baby batter inside his pussy, that could wait. His human couldn’t, his needs always came first in his mind. He lay there dutifully as you licked and suckled and fondled his fat coin purse, marveling at just how full and taut it felt in the hand.

“You have such pretty balls, Sugar. Always so full for your boyfriend. You like it when I kiss on your sexy nuts, babygirl?” He yipped when you nibbled ever so slightly at the tight flesh, dragging your tongue up and over their radius to savor that subdued and delicious flavor.

“Yes! Oh goodness yes! I love it when you lick me, Anon!” He gasped into his bundle of blankets and pillows as your insidious hand stroked up and down his throbbing cock, squeezing at the base so his broad head would pump and flare in need.

“And such a big, long cock too. You know I love your giant, musky pony dick, don’t you?” You accented that with a long and wet lick up the bottom of his shaft, turning him into a quivering mess of tensing muscles and backward thrusts.

“Y- yes~... please oh please pound my pussy, Anon~. I’m so ready for you! I want you to make me gape and pump me full!” He squealed with genuine need as you toyed with his pride, mouthing his head and giving it a harsh suck. A squirt of pre-cum was your reward, his uniquely earthy and salty flavor staining your mouth and lingering like the flavor of wine. As much as you would’ve loved to keep teasing him, playing with everything until he painted your ceiling with another volley of his orgasm, there was work to do. It might’ve been Saturday but that didn’t mean you wanted to spend it all tormenting Derpy… again. You had plans for him beyond carnal release, thus this had to be quick and satisfying.

“Always so needy. You’re such a good girl, begging for dick like that.” You growled and moved toward his steamy, gripping, musky hole. The throbbing doughnut stared back with a winking grip of black wrinkles pulling in on themselves, guiding your eye to the puckered center where your cock would drill right inside and be once again bathed in his body’s warmth. You snarled at the aroma hitting your senses, a noise that made Derpy prop up even further and spread his cheeks.

“I- I love getting bred by my boyfriend. Your cum belongs in my pussy. I was made to be your cock sleeve. I want to be the best marefriend in the world and get fucked by your hard dick whenever you want!” He was starting to speak out of turn now, his senses falling apart in anticipation of the big moment. That was a sign to get moving, to start doing your work and let him release.

Diving face first into his butt, your mouth and nose squished into his hole and savaged it with stimulation. His entire body went into shock at the touch, his most sensitive spot lavished with attention and once again allowed to serve its purpose in life.

“OOH~! Aaaaaaaugh~~~ A- Anon~! Lick my pussy, lick my butthole~! Mmph, my butthole belongs to you! All yours to play with it!” He cried out loud enough for passing ponies in the street to hear, though they thankfully didn’t pay much mind to the muffled holler of pleasure. You couldn’t care less if they noticed anyway, for you were enjoying your sloppy, warm and dripping breakfast in bed.

Lapping and slurping on his flower pulled the loose flesh about and expressed all its hidden flavor, the delicious and intense taste of pony ass flooding your mouth and nostrils like smoke. He wasn’t dirty or unwashed, but intensely musky from the testosterone naturally running through his body. His muscular pussy tasted just as he smelled, albeit with an undeniably raw flavor added in for effect. It was never unpleasent, quite the opposite. Surprisingly you found eating his hole to be a sweet and complicated experience, one for an adjusted and mature palette that could exmaine every layer of taste and flavor he had to offer. One watching might’ve seen it as far too much, as your lips and tongue could dissappear behind the cloak of his stretching entrance, but that’s the only way you could enjoy yourself. Pressed up against his ass so tight you almost burrowed into it was the best way to relax his inner ring. The cover of doughy pucker belied how tight and tense his muscles could be, thus when your tongue pressed past them and into his rectum, it was quite a long and involved journey.

“Nnmmmmmph~~~ eat my pussy, Anon~. Your tongue feels so good inside me~! Fuck me with your tongue all you like~! I love it!” He more or less groaned his words rather than spoke them, his throat becoming much like his ass in terms of slop and slack. You happily obliged his demands and tongued his hole, tasting his familiar insides and finding the flavors so wonderfully familiar. The same pussy that had taken your cock, that had milked your balls dry and had gaped open after you were finished ruining him. His walls were squeezing and working around your tongue, suckling inwards as if to draw out all the dick it could.

One could stay like this for hours, as you had before. His butt was so soft and encompassing that it could be a wonderful a pillow. His fleshlight of an asshole welcomed kissing and slurping and licking for hours on end, his orgasms coming one after the other when you mindfully added stroking his beefy cock into the mix. His flavor, his smell, his feel were all so alluring and addicting that your mind rapidly morphed into the same mold as his, a loyal machine that was programmed to lust and satisfy and love without question.

Thus it wasn’t long before your cock was hard and dripping onto the sheets for him, desperate to feel the wet and soupy grip of a pony’s butthole again. Derpy’s pussy always got you tuned and excited, just the sight alone enough to charge you with energy on a dreary day. The way he flaunted and presented for you was so deliciously sick, his buxom booty hanging out free for you to pound and fuck and breed however hard you wish and simply spank whenever you were done. A man’s fantasy by any other name, to have a quivering and warm pile of wet fuckmeat on hand whenever the hormones and urges grew too distracting. But Derpy proved better than fantasy, as he was a loving and kind soul that volunteered eagerly to be that sopping wet pussy like it was his predestined duty.

“Ooooooh shit~. I love your ass so much, Babygirl. This pussy is so tight and tasty~.” He shivered and clenched for you, making a thick tear-drop of spittle roll down his pucker and dribble across his soaked taint.

“A- all for you~. All for my handsome, sexy, big dick boyfriend~. My boy-pussy’s always wet and ready for you, Anon~.” Derpy cooed and watched you mount him, feeling more feminine and beautiful than ever. The grip of fingers around his barrel, the weight of burly hips settling against him and the looming darkness of a larger, dominant body encompassing him. If there was a way he could be bound to you for the rest of time, forced to stay just like this and mate with you until the end of time, he would do it. He would be bred and fucked and pounded and creamed for eons and never get tired of it, for you.

“You ready, Babygirl?” You hummed into his ear, mindfully smearing across his loosened and relax hole. Derpy tensed at first, his excitement getting the better of him with your rounded and broad head knocking at his back door.

“All good and relaxed, sweet girl?” He nodded weakly and bit the blankets between his flat teeth, the initial slide of man into stallion always his absolute favorite moment in making love.

“You just chill out. Let your boyfriend take care of that juicy boy-pussy~.” You kissed his cheek adoringly and let the weight of your hips begin the plunge, one that was made easy and slick by spittle and Derpy’s own unique lubrication. He was never dry down there, somehow mantaining a layer of slickness that made popping a finger or a cock inside him rather easy. A welcoming grease to the already slick and syrupy action of pounding a hole consistently looser than a human’s, one that would fluctuate rapidly between gripping for dear life and letting you fall inside his warm guts.

“OoooooaaaaAAAUGH~!!! Oh my goodness! MMP!!!” Derpy shuddered as the entire world around him rattled and fell away into pieces. Muscles still accustomed to staying put and never relaxing were once again wedged open, spread further and further apart around the most devastating pillar known to ponykind. His simpering voice disappeared into the blankets and bounced about your skull as your hips easily glided down, down, down into his backside, the plush buttocks of your submissive and breedable lover so thick and rotund they mushed against your hips long before you were settled at your base. His asshole moved in one fluid motion around you, spreading all at once and never daring to tense up against your wishes. A single, gentle and considerate slide into a training hole was quite the rush of sensations, both comfortable and less so. But you could tell from experience that Derpy really quite prefered the shocking fulness of a hard dick plunging inside his bowels rather than anything so tentative and careful as poking and jabbing prods.

“Haaaahhhnnnn~~~ Fffffffucking god, Baby…” You sighed in utter relief as he took you again, diligently spreading his legs and gyrating his fat ass against your hips in needy grinds and horny bumps. Your body rested against his and pressed him forcefully into the bed, crushing your cock right to the base inside his succulent and soft guts with the tiniest noise escaping from the melee. He exhaled a long and throaty moan into his bundle of blankets, helping to relax his tender insides around your hard cock so nothing could interrupt the raw pleasure of unprotected and masculine love.

“Mmmnnnnnph~~~! MNH! Hah~!” The tiny noises and gasps and moans he made were more amusing than your favorite record. His body writhing and struggling to accommodate your relatively unobtrusive mass floored your drive to breed and ruin soft and submissive holes. And best of all, the subtle push he made against your hips burrowed your cock just that little bit deeper inside, grinding your throbbing and pulsing head across the width of his stiff prostate.

“Aaaaannnnonnnnnn~~~...” Your sweet girl moaned as a smile spread across her muzzle, bumping little gasps and squeaks erupting from his throat as you got started.

“Hm- mph- ooh- nnm! S- so good~! A- non’s c- ock ins- i- ide meeeeee~~~” Thrusting against him turned his slurred and guttural speech into a messy staccato of back and forth, back and forth. Beating into his soft and plush ass let airy claps of motion fill the air and drown out the squeaky grunts of your bed frame struggling to hold the both of you. His rubbery and thick butthole flexed and suckled and slurped along your cock as it pistoned at such a steady and practiced pace, flexing in and out with your shaft so its wrinkles would stretch out to follow and collapse inwards to cradle. Your shaft glistened with the slick spittle and internal slickness of a warm equine’s body, every indulgent sound mirroring the pulse of two heart beats meeting in such an intimate manner.

“So warm and soft~. You’re so good, Babygirl~. You’re doing such a good job making me feel good, Sugar~!” You hissed and growled into his ear as you rewarded his submissive and queer behavior, kissing his cheek and watching as his dopey smile grew yet gooier and sloppier.

“I’m a- a- a gooooo- ooood girlfri- end~~~...” He moaned, still bouncing on your cock like a toy ball. His cheeks spread with relaxation as he settled into the familiar sensation of a dick drilling his butt, the discomfort of his guts shifting settling into their feminine and prefered positions around you. Relaxed innards were simply there for your benefit, stretched and bent and flowing around your dick until they could extract the sweet nectar from it. Swinging glands responsible for producing such immense quantities of orgasm beat against one another in the dripping rain of sex and musk, heavy orbs of masculinity kissing again and again and again as the combined heat of two aroused bodies made them hang lower and lower in loosened flesh.

“Yes you are~. You’re my precious, pretty buttslut~. Say it, Babygirl~. Say it for me~.”

“I- I- I‘m you’re buttslut~! Oooo- oooh An- non~!!! I’m your buttslut!” He whined with an audible rise in the pitch of his voice. Each thrust inside him made for a more feminine voice, another step in the right direction that would free Derpy of this profound confusion between soul and body. Each pounding halt of your cock burying inside his asshole was another argument for why he was born to be your one and only loving wife rather than a stallion.

“Aaaaaammph~~~!!!” He squealed and pushed his head into the covers as his body reacted accordingly, such fulfillment flicking the twitchy and fiery switch in his body. His guts contracted and pulsed and pulled about, firing off his satisfied and now somewhat useless load of seed into the sheets. You adored how his balls would visibly contract and surge with production upon each mighty pump of his fertile cream, helpless fruit before the rushing tidal wave of anal orgasm. He never really needed a hand around his shaft to finish, for the radical increase in his grip around your dick always sent him over the edge.

“RRF~! F- fuck~! Ah- Derpy~!” Gritting your teeth, it was apparent he was cumming again just from the feel inside him. Fleshy walls clamped around your cock with a vacuum seal. Each and every fiber of his being outlined your manhood, drawing around the shield-shaped head and bending around each flaring blood vessel running along your shaft. He could count the beats of your heart one after the other with his flaring and pounding nerves, each tiny twitch of your life setting fires in his mind. His musky, loose and hot hole was the protector, the lover and the keeper of your most sacred part. He was entrusted to hold your shaft, to pleasure and worship and care for it. And by the gods above and below he would do everything in his power to make you cum with it.

He adored how you bolted upright upon orgasm, straightening your back and grabbing his belly like a wrestler for all the leverage you could get. The way you vainly pounded his plush ass just a few more times before the flow started and you ground to a startling halt. Even you, in all your glory, had your limitations it seemed. Looking back at you with a hooded eye, watching as you struggled and submitted to his newly minted boy-pussy, it was clear just how intense the satisfaction was.

“Mmmh~~~ Daddy~~~...” He hummed as your eyes met, the first rope of breeding seed latching tightly to his insides. Squeezing depths suckled your seed deeper and deeper as it was delivered, each jet of hot alabaster release greedily snatched up for sewing barren fields. Derpy’s hole would’ve been perfect for breeding, had it been attached to a mare rather than something as fertile as his deliciously fat testes. You unloaded inside him with repeated volleys of throbbing cum, twitching and pulsing and grinding against his prostate as it engorged and fought back with equal tenacity. He locked you in place, forcing you to deliver your hot jets of pleasure into his most sensitive and needy depths until each and every drop was his to covet and treasure. He adored seeing the fire drain from your face, the most astronomical height of bliss suddenly falling back to Earth as you relaxed and exhaled every last bit of your drive.

“Hah… hnng… shit…” You grunted and gasped before laying back across his back, praising him with kisses and pets and the presence of your body. He took it all on with squeaks and mumbles of welcome, subtly shaking his butt against your hips to further torment an already spent cock.

“Nnnnnnnnh~~~... All full~! All full of Daddy’s cum again~! Mmmph, you made me pregnant~!” He hissed as you pulled free of his needy pucker, leaving it to gape somewhat before his guts squeezed in to hold his milky prize. The pony bit his lip and let his eyes roll in utter release, smacking lips and a curling tongue quickly thirsting for yet more.

“Can I clean it again, Anon? I can make you all sparkly clean if you bring hot, messy cock over here~!” He giggled as you smiled and kissed his cheek, that quickly turning into a dirty smooch on the lips. The stallion tasted his own earthy hole on your tongue, moaning sweetly and gripping for you with his curling forelimbs.

“Sheesh, you don’t ever stop. Do ya?” It was half joking half not, as Derpy had indeed become quite the thirsty predator since all this had come together. Every offer he made was totally genuine, one word from your lips all it took for him to throat your dirty prick for however long you wanted him to. It had become implicitly known that he was a free-use kind of girl, for it was just as thrilling for him when you inexplicably slipped a finger in his musky pussy out of nowhere as it was for you. Given his eagerness and his sheer drive to be used however, it took quite some effort to keep him focused. The poor stallion would forgo food in favor of human cock by this point.

“Noooo~!” He squeaked, earning a hearty pat on the head and fingers combing through his mane. The pegasus quivered and leaned heavily into your hand, humming his thanks and oozing a thick teardrop of human jizz down his taint.

“Well stop it. You need some chow this morning, babygirl. And I need some coffee.” He wriggled himself into a somewhat standing position in the bed, inadvertently scrubbing his cum-splattered ass and penis across the sheets. Daily laundry was something you were entirely equipped to deal with, at least. An eternally dick-hungry and clingy stallion required much more out of you.

“Well… maybe I could just sort of suck it while you’re making breakfast? Or- or- or you could squish my buns together and rub it all in my pussy? I’d even let you just wipe it off with my mane!” Shushing Derpy was the only way to pump the brakes. A single finger to his lips was contact enough to mellow him out, even if it meant he instantly fell into a blushy and suckling state.

“Huh-uh, Sugar. You gotta eat. You know Daddy likes it when you’re happy and fed. Right?” He nodded smoothly and languidly, his eyes falling near-closed as he smooched and licked your finger.

“That’s a good girl… now hit the shower. I’m gonna get some clothes on and we’ll get you fixed up with something to eat.” Painful as it was to let you go without chasing after, Derpy did relent under direct order. Hearts swirled in his rolling eyes as you turned and left for the closet across the room, bare buttocks and the barely visible peek of testes hanging between your legs hypnotizing Derpy into following your every word.

The sun was strong this morning but the wind was somehow stronger. Blowing downwards from the snowy mountain peaks of Canterlot far above the village, icy winds cut through the town and reminded all throughout just what time of year it was. The apples had been harvested and stored, the leaves began to fall from the trees and the grass slowly lost its brilliant green luster. Ponies wrapped themselves in scarfs and covered their ears with muffs, constantly carrying about umbrellas or warm drinks in preparation for the sometimes dismal days of repeated overcast.

Twilight was doing much the same this morning, albeit with intentions far removed from the normal mare walking about. Her scarf was an unusual dark green splattered with patches of drab earth tones, matching the wooly toboggan covering her bright mane. Rather than clopping about the shops or staying in to engage in her usual, obsessive behavior, she was out in the brush where none could see her. Concealed behind the dying foliage of shrubs and the green needles of pine trees, the Princess sat on a blanket laid out and prepared an unusual contraption for this time of year.

Her tripod stuck into the ground with spiked feet, securing it surely to the ground for minimal disruption. Her telescope stood at an unnatural angle for its chassis, pointed so horizontally that the steel housing nearly made it fall over from a lack of balance. So often trained on the ever-changing and brilliant heavens above, there was surely some humiliation in having its fine construction and expensive lenses pointed at the mundane and distant scene of Sugarcube Corner’s morning rush, but such a concern didn’t cross her thoughts. The Princess wet her pencil against her rapidly moistening tongue, finally peering through the scope at the pair capturing her intrigue.

“So, this guy was seriously trying to tell me that I wasn’t equipped properly to apply for the job.” You started, sipping your third espresso as Derpy politely indulged in his sugary breakfast.

“Whaaaat? But you’re so good with tools! Your shop has like, a hundred of ‘em!” Derpy replied, his body clearly gravitating toward yours in the cool and misty morning.

“Dude told me “no hooves.” Like I can’t use a hammer without hooves!” Twilight scratched down every word and mannerism in her own form of shorthand, carefully flicking her pencil about a parchment in her magic. The gentle scratching noises lulled her into a peaceful focus she so adored, for it was the most productive state for her mind. Listening through her voice amplification spell, settling onto her plush haunches and fixing her scrutinizing gaze onto her subject with freakish concentration, the mare was in her element. Such a fascinating and unique topic to cover as well, the relations of stallions across species of such opposing origins. There was only one human in all Equestria to study, but he somehow turned out to be an equally unique specimen socially. Simply for the act of study, for the satisfaction of observation and recording, the Princess diligently studied every single, solitary interaction between you and your stallion wife.

Expressions of gratitude, dominance hierarchies, boundaries and discipline as opposed to privileges and relaxation. There was so much to go through, so much unique information to catalog. So many mares in higher education shared the same experience as her, studying through those lonely nights and finally falling back into romantic novels. The rarest, most precious prize always being the steamy stories of stallions falling to their carnal desires. Surrounded by a society that simply lacked the tools to understand their love, they were heros simply for being themselves and showing the utmost honesty in their love. Perhaps more stallions were like that then she imagined, but so few had the words to describe this attraction to the same sex. She theorized it could be anywhere from five to fifteen percent of all stallions in Equestria were struggling with this horrible ignorance at that very moment, crying out for the strong and burly embrace of their own kind but stuck in confused marriages.

Such a compelling undertaking, but one that proved equally indulgent and dirty. Even now, watching as you two simply sat and talked and joked and smiled with one another in the most wholesome manner, her hoof could not help but slowly slide down her rounded little belly. Twitchy wings fluttered against her back as her eyes focused on Derpy’s exposed genitals, the tight package of soft flesh wrapped snugly around a sizable masculinity. Between notable actions she liked to focus back and forth between the familiar and the concealed unfamiliar, slight drops of drool pooling at the corners of her lips.

”Currently my theory for their current dynamic of intercourse is based around the differing muscular structure of Anonymous’ primate body compared to the native equine structure of a pony’s. It is well known that the design of a stallion’s penis is intended for reaching into mares’ bodies despite a disadvantageous or improper mount. Thus stallions with longer shafts and wider flares were selected by evolution due to an ease with entering the vagina and remaining in place for insemination.

Anonymous stands upright, however. Which implies that the musculature of his lower half is far stiffer than a pony's in order to support the increased weight on his spine, hips and thighs. He is able to enter a stallion’s anus quite easily and thrust with considerable force. As stated in this morning’s entry, the human penis is shaped such that sliding smoothly into a quivering, wet hole is quite easy. This might also imply that human females are more muscular in their hips, as the lack of a flare on the cock penis would make it much easier to enter a considerably tighter canal.

It would likely take great effort and care to enter Anon’s ass posterior with a stallion’s penis. I theorize that perhaps oral stimulation (Continued use of the tongue on the anus- see definition guide) would allow his muscles to better relax for easier penetration. Derpy has yet to try this, as he universally selects to take the passive role in sexual intercourse. I am.heavily considering subtle ways to subconsciously suggest they attempt such an act. I would be deeply dissappointed if I missed such a demonstration of human anatomy!

Anon’s penis shape makes it surprinsingly easy to engage in anal interourse (The act of inserting your cock the penis into the anus for sexual pleasure- see definition guide) with Derpy. Minimal stimulation is required before the initial penetration for Derpy to reach orgasm in a comfortable manner. I have sketched the basic shape of Anonymous’ penis entering Derpy’s anus in the selection below (Fig. 4) for perspective.”

The knowledge and the theories and the observations raced through her intricate mind like bullets passing through a paper target, endlessly stimulating her mentally and physically. The unicorn mindfully drew out the gooey, detailed, extensive act of male mating with male with her graphite instriment, gently riding her smooth hoof over her sex with delicate effort. She preferred to edge toward her goal rather than sprint after it, especially when she could find the perfect perch and watch you two “interact” naturally. Memories of Derpy’s pleasured expression mid-orgasm tormented her and sparked dangerous arcs of pleasure in her feminine sex, thick lines of sugary release already oozing from her purple lips.

”Side note: Anon continually displays typically masculine behavior with Derpy. Meanwhile, Derpy has assumed the feminine role in nearly every activity. He his submissive and receptive to affection and compliments from Anon, often leaning into his pats and pets whenever he is able to get them. As well, he smiles at Anonymous and maintains constant eye contact, a subtle indication in mares that they desire a stallion for his perceived sexual prowess. I have noted previously that Derpy has taken to calling his anus a “pussy,” in reference to the common terminology for a mare’s vagina. This indicates to me that he is fully committed to the role of being a receptive party in the relationship, submissive to the human’s desire to thrust into his round, soft, bubbly butt whenever he wants and-”

“Now what in the world are you doing?” A voice ripped Twilight from her concentration and portions of her soul from her body. She squealed internally and kicked her legs inward to cover her shame, the scrutiny of another’s gaze burning like hot irons pressed to her belly.

“GHK! NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL.” The princess whimpered and whipped her eyes to the offending party, an overdressed and quite warm looking unicorn greeting her. Rarity stood on the dirt path running about the town in her purple assembly of scarf and hat and booties, showing off the latest piece from her coming winter line before it was available. Twilight knew the posh designer enjoyed testing her latest sets with small walks, but she was rather shocked to find her out in anything resembling the wilderness. Her friend stared at her with an utterly befuddled expression, a cocked eye brow leering down at the twitchy and scrunched-up alicorn below her.

“Nothing… just bird watching. Making sure migrations are in order for Fluttershy. That’s what I’m doing.” Twilight huffed and quickly tucked her horny notes into a folder, sliding that folder into her saddle bags before they defensively buckled and sealed such knowledge away. Try as she might, this was simply the worst possible scenario for her little excursion to fall into. Rarity was neither silly enough to believe her, nor was she mindful enough to simply let such a thing go.

“Well… I certainly suspected fluttershy. But you, Twilight? Now my entire perception is challenged.” Rarity spoke with a creeping grin, giggling to herself as Twilight took her turn looking puzzled.

“Enjoyable as the wild life can be for certain kinds of mares, I always had you pegged for a more… romantic type.” The Princess pouted at the nosy pony pressing into her business, turning stiffly away from her and peering through her telescope as if she was simply too occupied to talk. Rarity was only drawn in like a shark to fresh blood.

“Yep… I like… birds. So please give me some privacy. I need to keep watching birds and… rubbing one out. As I do.” The posh, cream-colored pony didn’t even suppress her giggle. Rarity stepped onto Twilight’s little picnic set-up and made herself at home, visibly upsetting her friend in the most amusing manner.

“Ho-hum. Darling I understand. Every mare has her interests. Bizarre and unnatural as they might be.” Her smile was positively poisonous, reflecting just how unconvinced the mare was. Twilight continued to ignore it right until Rarity gently pushed on her telescope and directed it toward the rooftops.

“But your avian studs tend to come from up there, rather than the bakery.” The royal jerked back from the moving equipment as if it had bit her snout, signaling to Rarity that she was focusing on nothing but keeping her face straight. Another flurry of giggles drew the startling glare of her compatriot, an amusing glare that didn’t fit Twilight’s soft features.

“Oh don’t give me that nasty look, Dear. A coy mare is cute but a liar most certainly isn’t.” Twilight blushed hard and cast her bitter stare to the blanket, some rather dirty shame building up in her gut.

“And now that I’m aware? I simply must know. Which stallion has caught your eye, Darling?”

“What?!” Twilight barked back, skittering on her hind legs as Rarity pushed forward and readjusted the scope.

“Hiding in the bushes? Pleasing yourself? Writing page upon page of notes? You have a pattern, Twilight!” Rarity hummed along with a sing-song and fascinated voice, replacing the long shaft of glass and steel to its original place. Twilight didn’t immediately protest, signaling to the snoopy mare that she could continue.

“Frankly I find it adorable. It’s just like you to obsess and study a stallion like he were a literary work or something just as dower. So stop your little game and just tell old Rarity which one has finally brought little miss introvert out of her shell.”

“I don’t obsess…” Twilight grumbled in response, carefully turning the dials and knobs and levers of her equipment until it focused on the pair of her interests again, catching you and the pegasus in the act of sneaky kisses over the table.

“Oh I remember how you did that poor young thing that complimented you, last summer. That migrant laborer had his every move surveyed until he left! I simply cannot imagine why you didn’t simply kidnap that young stud while you had the chance! He was so delightfully simple!” Twilight rolled her eyes and let Rarity look for herself. The devilish deva's amused and girlish smile almost immediately fizzled away when she drank in the strange sight before her.

“Oh… hmm… well… I do suppose… uh…” Rarity’s lips thinned from plush pads of perfection into a single line of confusion. She stared for several seconds longer, slowly pulling back and looking to her stoic friend for answers.

“Are you happy now? I really need to get back to my research.”

“No. Not happy with it at all, Dear. In fact I’m really quite confused.” Rarity said with more curiosity than judgment, peering through the scope another time.

“Derpy is perhaps the least compatible stallion in all Ponyville! Bless his heart he’s a good pony, but he’s so-... well he’s a…” She swished the words around for a moment, trying to imagine a lady-like way to explain it.

“He seems a bit silly, Darling. And for a mare such as you that strikes me as an issue.” Twilight huffed and sharpened her pencil, simultaneously removing a sheet of fresh parchment from her bag.

“It’s a mystery. Love has struck me. Oh what will I do? Can I please get back to my observations?” Rarity gave one last look out of disbelief, fixing her gaze on you two and prying for answers. Was it a new hairstyle? Was it some mannerism she hadn’t seen in the stallion before? Had he done something kind for her recently? She just couldn’t put together why Twilight would show any interest in the innocent young stud. Sure, he was hung like a dragon and flaunted the widest buns of any stallion in town. But she knew Twilight simply couldn't tolerate the company of any creature below a fourth-grade reading level.

But slowly the pieces fell into place. Her mind snapped onto the plate in front of Derpy, one he ate off of with great care and restraint. She spied the beverage you sipped with proper posture, several identically minute mugs surrounding you. She picked apart the body language of your intent listening and the look of utter adoration in your eyes whenever Derpy made you snicker with his rambling stories.

“Crepes? Espresso? Brunch? And is that… are they?” She swallowed dryly as you leaned over and whispered something into Derpy’s ear, a mad blush breaking out across his cheeks before he jerked back and hid behind his hooves. No pony paid such behavior any mind, but to the experienced eye of the fashionista there could be no other possibility.

“Oh my sweet sun…” Rarity said as she slowly rolled away from the eyepiece, meeting Twilight’s knowing and frustrated face.

“Yeah.” The princess answered, watching as Rarity unpacked it all bit by bit in her head.

“Oh goodness… so they? The two of them? Do they…?” Twilight simply nodded, sure that a pony as well-traveled and acquainted with higher society as Rarity would have an understanding.

“Oh yeah.” Rarity blushed and politely covered her gasp with a hoof, her brilliant azure eyes widening and sparkling with intrigue.

“Oh my… completely so? As in…?” She asked with a hushed tone and pressed the tips of her hooves together, bumping them in a suggestive manner. Twilight simply nodded, humming an affirmation much to the unicorn’s shock.

“With Anonymous? Anonymous… the human stallion?”

“Yes. One-hundred percent. All the way. Totally. No doubt about it.” Rarity remained silent thinking on it for a moment, her eyes betraying her racing mind. She blankly stared ahead, redness seeping into the plush pillows of her cheeks just beneath the fur. Twilight watched as slight steam seemed to pour from her nostrils, like the gears and chains of her brain were simply straining far too hard in that moment. Rarity immediately went back to looking through the scope, nearly shoving the eyepiece into her socket to capture every last photon of light streaming through it.

“Tell. Me. EVERYTHING~! Look at them, they’re positively adorable! How wonderfully unusual! Which one is the mare in the relationship? OH! Is it Anonymous? Has he finally shown his soft side to somepony?! Do they go on romantic walks together?! Do they write poems confessing their deepest love?! I simply must know Twilight!” Said Princess lept into action and clamped her hoof over the speeding designer’s mouth, pulling her away from the spyglass in a jerk of terrified motion.

“RARITY SHUSH! Somepony might hear!” She yipped and held the mare in place until her jaw stopped flapping in vain attempts to speak, her excitement still riding a wild line.

“Look, this is a delicate and personal matter! I don’t need everypony in town knowing all about this and getting involved!”

“As if telling your dearest friend will do any harm! Besides, this matter requires an experienced handler! A mare familiar with the beautiful dance of romance and affection!”

“Wha- I know about that stuff! I know all about it!” Twilight spoke but no one heard her, instead the silence of birds chirping and leaves falling answering her assertion. Rarity sat transfixed on the romantic pair as they chatted and ate, driving doubt into her purple pal’s heart.

“No offense Dear, really. But your idea of romance begs for some practical experience. A stallion is a simple creature but a lady cannot court them on theory alone.” Twilight’s utter indignance fell on Rarity’s deaf ears, especially when the older and supposedly wiser mare interrupted her before the Princess could speak.

“Ooooh I simply cannot believe what an appealing couple they make! Such a queer pair to come together! Tell, tell, tell Darling! Which is the mare in the relationship? I want to guess it’s Anonymous, but I just can’t be sure from this vantage!” Twilight sighed in defeat and rolled her eyes, likewise unrolling her notes from their buckled satchels and unfurling them in the sunlight.

“Ugh… Derpy has been the submissive party for the duration of my observation. He’s taken on the stereotypically passive position in the dynamic.” The snow-white unicorn didn’t reply for several seconds, making her studious companion scowl.

“Derpy’s the mare.” She quipped, earning a flash of excitement from the posh pony.

“Dearie me, how fantastic! How absolutely fantastic! Now that you say it, it’s so apparent in how they act! I never knew Anonymous could be such a passionate and giving lover!”

“He’s certainly giving. I can tell you that.” Twilight grumbled, muscling into the telescope and pushing Rarity off the treasured gateway to titillation.

“See, Anonymous is both taller and wider than Derpy. So it seems logical he would naturally be dominant.”

“Mh-hm~? Do go on!” Rarity hummed and bit her lip in pleased bliss, letting the delightful imagery wash over her thoughts. Strapping, young, fertile stallions reserved for one another, rejecting society’s demands of them in favor of the purest love. Powerful figures of action and capability dedicated to one another, satiating their need for control and domination in turns night after night in the most steamy, raunchy and depraved intercourse Equestria could imagine.

“He’s lifted him quite easily in the past. Both for sexual and nonsexual reasons. So it’s safe to say he’s much stronger than the average pony.”

“Ooh~! You don’t say?”

“Derpy meanwhile has totally abandoned almost all his typically masculine traits around Anon. He smiles more, he flags more and he is always in contact with him when he can be.”

“Oh! Like newly weds! How traditional!” Rarity squealed with her a clap of her hooves.

“Tell me, do they make love just as I imagine it? Do they fall upon one another under the moonlight and kiss deeply? Do they intertwine like the strings of silk sheets and become one?” Twilight huffed at such unclear and vague vocabulary, gladly listing off her knowledge despite the rather strange obsession it implicated her in.

“Derpy almost always initiates it. There’s a ninety-five percent chance they’ll engage in penetrative intercourse if Derpy presents himself.” Technical jargon deflated the romantic equine somewhat, but that didn’t halt Twilight from continuing uninhibited.

“Anonymous is the more experienced partner. Derpy’s more of a… let’s say ‘free-form’ kind of pony. Lots of grinding and nuzzling. He's also rapidly acquired the slang terminology for male anatomy from Anonymous and often goads him into a mating session with such vocabulary.”

“He’s in love, Darling! Can you blame him for ravenously craving the flesh of his soul mate?”

“Definitely affectionate.” Twilight answered somewhat disinterestedly, far more focused on zoning in on the two of you exchanging laughs. Rarity leaned in close to Twilight’s ear, radiating heat pouring off her face as the subtle arousal grew in her belly.

“Am I safe to assume that Derpy… stimulates Anonymous?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.” Twilight answered with a strange pride in her voice, leaning away from her equipment to shuffle through her notes.

“See, I was originally unclear as to why Derpy would find the act so enjoyable. While there’s no way to measure sexual satisfaction in a strictly quantifiable way, you can definitely… hear that he enjoys anal penetration quite a bit.” Rarity cringed somewhat as Twilight held up pages upon pages of notes, some stained with drool, others coffee.

“Darling, don’t you think that… ’anal intercourse’ sounds a bit stuffy? I mean, surely they don’t call it that?”

“That’s what it is. Look at this diagram, here.” Twilight pointed to a cut-away of a stallion’s internal anatomy, a rude drawing of a human’s shaft interpose on top of the relevant tubing and guts.

“See here? I had to do some guessing with Anon’s exact shape and length, but it seems that the human penis runs almost directly into a stallion’s prostate when penetrating him through the anal canal.” Rarity once again recoiled from such medical terminology, but she and Twilight both were still rather enraptured by the lurid, dirty analysis. Never had either one of them been a position to have such a frank discussion, their deep and obscure fantasies of madly mating stallions finally made real in the dirtiest manner possible.

“Which essentially means Anonymous hits Derpy’s most sensitive spot on every thrust. Especially if he’s particularly forceful, I’ve estimated that the sensation is very similar to vaginal intercourse! So really it’s no wonder that Derpy’s always asking for Anon to plug his juicy pussy, it probably feels fantastic!” Both of them felt a pang of need run through their bodies, opposing slits of alabaster and indigo gripping at the cool air surrounding their groins.

“Goodness… y- you think it would be the same for a mare? That he would also… strike her sensitive spots?” Twilight swallowed dryly and ran her eyes over the diagram once again, nearly leaning forward and licking it.

“I- in theory. I mean, the G-spot is in a similar area. And some mares have actually reported quite powerful stimulation from-”

“What’re you two doing?” Another voice cut through the haze surrounding the two, shocking them out of their skin and cutting off the arousing energy like a guillotine.

“GAH! Fluttershy?!” Snapped Twilight as her document rolled back up into her magic, the sharp reply to the intrusion making the poor naturalist mare cower in terror.

“OH! Sorry, sorry! Were you bird watching? Oh fooey! I- I knew I should’ve just kept walking!” The butter-colored sweetheart hid behind her mane and refused to be addressed, nearly passing out entirely when two ponies raised their voices at her simultaneously.

“What’re you doing here?! Why is everypony in town walking in the woods right now?!” Twilight cried to the heavens as Rarity snuck back into the telescope, satisfying herself with the alluring and romantic scene. Fluttershy was just barely able to regain some of her composure, keeping her eyes to the ground in a show of submission.

“Oh, me? I come out here to get away from everypony… but then you guys were here. So I thought I should… ask you to leave.” Fluttershy finished her sentence, but didn’t seem quite invested in the words coming out of her mouth. Quickly she found herself focused on the strange scene before her, the motley setup unusual as it was interesting. Especially when Twilight seemed to purposely tuck away her papers and pencils and Rarity was so unnaturally fixated on something.

“Look, I don’t mean to be rude. But I’m doing some important research here, Fluttershy. I won’t be bothering you.”

“I’m not.” Rarity added with a snickering grin, one that earned Twilight’s most intense glare.

“So… is it bird watching? I’d like to see some birds? If that’s okay.”

“Oh absolutely, Dear! Come, come! Look through here!” Rarity tugged the bashful pegasus forward with her gentle blue magic, the delicate little thing peering through the glass with a somewhat excited effort. Twilight simply sat back and waited for the party crasher to succumb to disappointment, her wetting nethers going unsullied by her hoof for the moment.

“Hmmm… oh… did Anon have a bird on his shoulder? Are you guys… confused what a bird is?” Fluttershy pulled back in confusion, completely unsure what to make of Rarity’s tittering giggle.

“Fluttershy, don’t you know a pair of love birds when you see them?” Apparently she couldn’t discern this strange species Rarity described, for the poor mare couldn’t form an answer to such a strange question.

“Love birds?” Quickly the bird-loving mare ducked in to look again, searching behind, around and in front of the casual pair sat at the cafe. Her ears pinned back in exasperation after a few seconds of desperate searching.

“Is it behind Derpy somewhere? Did they already fly away? I was talking too loud, wasn’t I?” Fluttershy whispered, earning a giggle and a scowl from her cohorts.

“Oh Fluttershy! You’re so delightfully innocent.” Rarity tittered and tossed her mane, bathing in the superiority of having read such raunchy romance novels before. Twilight looked quite similar to Fluttershy in the moment, neither holding particularly amused expressions.

“Anonymous and Derpy are in love, Darling! Why, they’re on a date right this instant!” The profound confusion settling over the buttery pegasus couldn’t be more visible if she had the word tattooed between her eyes.

“It’s not really a ’date’ for those two. They’ve had breakfast together four times this week.”

“Why- why- w- why do you know that? Fluttershy stumbled, feeling the walls of this conversation close slowly about her.

“With all due respect, Twilight. But one has to be on more than three dates to know a date when they see one.”

“Oh. Oh goodness.” Fluttershy shuffled backwards from the two as the tension rose.

“Look, when Anonymous takes Derpy out on a date? They go to the park, they go to the cinema, they go to his house and make dinner. Brunch is not a date. It’s too early in the morning!”

“Wait, why is Anon taking Derpy on dates?” Fluttershy interrupted with an uncharacteristically intrusive hoof raised, though she very quickly snapped the offending digit back to the ground the moment she caught the mares’ attention.

“They’re in love! Just as I said!”

“Ok? But… you said Anonymous is a stallion, right? Like… a male?” Twilight nodded, taking some subtle enjoyment watching the process of figuring it all out.

“Is he taking a bet? Oh no- is some awful pony playing a prank on him? I knew we should’ve kept a better eye on him! Oh he’s probably convinced poor Derpy’s a mare and he just doesn’t know any better!” The injection of inadvertent levity brought giggles out of both the snooping mares, for Derpy was indeed ‘the mare’ in some sense.

“Nothing quite like that.” Rarity clarified.

“They’re-”

“What’re ya’ll doin’?” Applejack’s voice failed to shock the group anymore, as it seemed the entire town was assembled a few feet away and coming in their direction.

“Oh for Celestia’s sake- is everypony out for a walk right now?!” Twilight groaned in the face of her visiting companion, the tangerine colored apple hoarder cocking an eyebrow in offense.

“Well howdy to ya’ll too.” Brilliant green eyes scanned over the unusual scene before them, patching things together out of the myriad parts flying about the scene.

“We were just having a picnic, dear! A little bird watching!” Rarity pat the space next to her, inviting Applejack to sit if she so pleased.

“Oh? A picnic? Are we still bird watching?” Fluttershy hummed as she took a seat, never one to turn down free food.

“Yeah. Bird watching. That’s what we’re doing.” Twilight grumbled into her hooves.

“The hay you are. Ya’ll spyin’ on poor Anonymous still!” Applejack scoffed and pushed the telescope upwards, restoring some of your private dignity.

“We are not! This is simply the most advantageous perch for catching the swallows and seaguls! And to be honest, I’m offended you would imply otherwise, Applejack.” Rarity’s answer made the frank farmer roll her eyes, a slight breath of frustration escaping her lips.

“Ya’ll only thirty feet from Sugarcube Corner and that thing’s pointed right at the colt. When’re ya’ll gonna leave the poor thing alone?” Suddenly Twilight and Rarity felt rather self-conscious of their hiding place, both of them peering over the slight brush and finding that Applejack was indeed correct. If anything, they were just as visible to you as you were to them whether they were camouflaged or not.

“Feller’s already ugly an’ gettin’ stared at by every pony in town. Ain’t you learned enough ‘bout him?” Twilight sighed and began to pack in her notes, quickly finding that this wasn’t going her way any longer.

“Oh but Applejack, we just learned the most wonderful thing about him! And Derpy, as well!” Instantly the moisture left the friendship Princess’ throat. Her entire body locked like oil pouring from a running engine, the joints in her legs and spine grinding to a shrieking halt.

“Rarity-”

“They’re homosexuals!” Rarity proclaimed far too boldly, nearly alerting the cafe to their presence. Twilight’s eyes ran red with thick cords of veins bulging by her purple irises, a gaze that could kill if she so desired it to. Applejack and Fluttershy exchanged glances of indignant confusion, feeling they were perhaps being insulted in a manner they weren’t supposed to understand.

“A homo-what now?”

“Rarity, we really need to go.” Twilight cautioned the prim and posh mare, but she pressed forward nonetheless.

“See how they share an invisible bond of romance, Applejack? Can’t you feel the love flowing between them, electrifying the air and radiating sweet affection? It’s like a fairy tale! They’re positively adorable together!” Again, Applejack and Fluttershy looked to one another for answers. Only to find still lips and scornful eyes. Unlike the relaxed and reclusive pegasus, the blunt and powerful orchard owner was one to speak her mind.

“Now this has to be the lowest I seen you go, Rarity. Spreadin’ rumors ‘bout Anon like that.” She shook her head in disdain, letting some of the air out of the mares’ ballooning excitement.

“He’s a hard workin’ stallion and a good human. He ain’t a bum and ya’ll oughta’ apologize to him for even sayin’ that!”

“Not a hobo, Applejack! A homosexual!” Twilight corrected as the last of her things finally packed away and slid onto her withers, a rather drained tone overtaking her voice.

“Is a homosexual like a hobo? Is Anon still poor?” Fluttershy asked from behind the neon colored farmer, feeling her stern attitude was a proper shield for this confusing situation.

“He ain’t a hobo and he most certainly ain’t no ’hobo-sextant’ like ya’ll sayin’. The colt was on my farm yesterday with Big Mac all day! They was fixin’ up the cider distillary ‘till the sun come down! Now does that sound like a hobo to ya’ll?” Twilight suddenly felt the intense need for calming alcohol to run through her veins, the throbbing pathways in her brain far too encumbered by this long-winded lesson she was failing to teach.

“A Homo-sexual. He is a stallion that is romantically attracted to other stallions! That’s what we mean!” Applejack laughed at the idea almost immediately, instantly dismissing it.

“Feh! Ain’t no such thing, Twilight!” She said with a grin, bopping the studious nerd on the chest.

“How in Equestria can you have a stallion and another stallion like that? That don’t make no sense at all!” She chortled and fixed her gaze on you, suddenly feeling the blood rush from her face. She quickly flashed back to the evening prior in the barn, her brother hung up in the sweltering piping and metal and heat of the distillery barn. She pushed the door open gently to check on the both of you, offering cool mugs of icy water to quench a working stallion’s infamous thirst.

But you were there, alone, with her brother… shirtless. Sweating, half naked, alone, where not a soul could see or hear you two. And if you were a stallion that saw other stallions in a romantic light, perhaps that logic could extend to other things romantically inclined ponies might do. The very idea forced her to stop talking, forced her to break out into an uneasy sweat and drop a bowling ball in her gut. Before any of the mares could speak up, she was moving toward the two of you stiffly as a wind-up toy.

“For some reason, everypony always assumes I’m a bad singer.”

“Are you?” You asked the plush little stallion sitting across from you, long-since finished with your coffee and simply indulging in his company.

“Somepony said I had perfect pitch, once. I’m not really sure what that means, but it sounds good! I remember getting lots of prizes when I was singing in the Cloudsdale Choir. But I also got in a lot of trouble for blowing up the rec center we met at.”

“How in the hell did you do that, Honey?”

“Well, you know how gas and gasoline are both just called gas? I got a little confused when they told me to start the gas heater at the Hearth’s Warming Eve party and-”

“ANON- howdy there how ya’ll doin’?!” Applejack snapped in your ear loud enough to make it ring, knocking all sense and concentration out of your skull with the force of a hammer. Jumping hard enough to nearly knock the table over, her presence stopped the conversation surely as a bullet to the leg.

“GHK! Heeeeey Applebutt! What’s up?!” The answer you gave was rather hostile from the start, allowing you and her to meet eyes. Immediately you were put on the backfoot by her appearance, several signals apart from her suddenness sticking out to you. The mare shook and trembled like she had just ran full speed from a ghost in the woods, her mane sticking out in wiry strands of freakish strain. Her powerful legs were locked stiff as tree trunks and quivering with strength, visibly prepared to kick or run or whatever was required to defend herself. Her eyes likewise stuck to you with an unmoving and uncomfortable quality about them, as if they were trying to bore through your skull and read your thoughts.

“Howdy Anon! Good to see ya! Havin’ that brunch thing I been hearin’ so much about? What’re ya havin’? Flapjacks an’ coffee! Well ain’t that somethin’! Can’t ya’ll make that at home?” Her teeth mashed together in the same manner as a meatgrinder’s crushing cogs would, an uncomfortable tremble creeping up your spine.

“Dude, you’re kinda freaking me out here.” Such a concern didn’t faze the orange beast in front of you, nor did it really calm her down. Instead, she simply mashed her jaws even tighter together and attempted to pass her words through the fencing of her mandibles.

“I just wanted to ask ya’ll a quick question! If ya’ll got the time! You ain’t busy, are ya?” Carefully looking to Derpy, it was apparent he wasn’t quite in on your concern. The stallion was still smiling and nibbling on his crepe, the chocolate sauce of his sugary breakfast sticking to the corners of his lips.

“Suuuure… I got the time.” Applejack regained just enough composure to speak, albeit without ever taking her prying gaze from your face. She searched each little twitch and configuration of your alien appearance, sniffing out any hint of deceit or dishonesty there might be.

“Just a little somethin’ I heard through the grapevine. Nothin’ serious, but you know how some ponies are with rumors!” She said with a backward sneer toward the bushes.

“Alright?” You said with increasing anxiety about this whole thing.

“I was just wonderin’... well… if ya’ll… See? I heard you was a… hobo- nah. It was a… homo-sextant? A homosextant, they said.” The blood in your veins ran colder as she spoke, for this was something you prefered to keep rather discreet from the public. Especially this public of innocent and rather thick-headed equines.

“Basically, there was some ponies out there that was sayin’ you like you some stallions… even though you also call yerself a stallion.” A single and heavy bullet of sweat ran down your neck, tightening your muscles like a noose slowly squeezing about your delicate pipes.

“Ehm-”

“And that’s all fine an’ dandy. Don’t ya’ll let me get in the way of what makes you human fellers happy.” She chuckled and adjusted her expression to a terribly dark mask of penetrating stoicism. The face of an executioner ready and trained to kill for a higher power.

“But you ain’t tryin’ to fiddle with my brother when I ain’t lookin’. Right?” Suddenly the weight on your chest came off and let you suck in a breath of relief. It seems today you would be spared another community turning against you, instead only the normal creep of dirty rumors that flowed through every town in every nation.

“Who? Me? Oh no, no, no. Nothing with Big Mac.” You said with a hand wave and a genuine attempt to sound genuine. Truth be told you were ready and willing to bounce on that delicious stud the exact moment he expressed interest, but he was simple as a rock and straighter than an arrow at his most fruity. The gayest thing you had ever seen him do was scratch his fat sweaty balls and sniff his hoof afterwards.

“I actually got me a marefriend the other day. So this homo business you’ve been hearing about is a bunch of crap right off the bat.” Applejack continued to scan your features for a chink in your armor. Had she known about the dozens of times you had to talk your way out of awkward encounters with furious fathers, aghast brothers and all manner of narrow minded people, she might’ve suspected a lie. But instead the trusting mare blew a whistle of relief, removing her hat to wipe the sweat from her brow.

“Whoo-ee! Now that’s a relief there! Boy-howdy I can’t tell ya how much better I feel already!” You shared her small laugh of amusement, albeit with a rapidly souring frown taking over your face.

“I’ll be darned, Anon. I was really about to come over here and lay ya’ll out for fiddlin’ with my kin! Gracious, whose the lucky mare?” Derpy and you shared a look of bemused knowledge, the squirmy pegasus hiding behind his wings when you answered the curious and adorably sincere pony.

“She’s a real treasure, that one. But you’d never guess in a million years.”

Author's Note

No matter what I do I cannot stop being gay for this equine.

Shouts to Shadowolf

Part 2.

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