Tia's Tacos

by Unidentified20XD6

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Luna, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 10514

A re-imagining of the events that lead to Luna's imprisonment on the moon.

You all know what happened on that fateful Summer Solstice a few years back, the dramatic tale of our favorite sextet of friends fighting an evil force trying to bring about eternal night and the loving reunion of sisters long parted. That tale is common knowledge. What you don't know is why. I mean, sure. You've got an ambiguous legend involving harmonic elements and a thousand year banishment to the moon, but who actually believes that? The truth is much more mundane. Celestia didn't banish her sister because of a spat over when the moon should be in the sky. That's far too dramatic. The truth is much simpler. It was over a taco stand.

Published 2012-12-31 20:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-02 00:48:01 UTC

The Story

Tia’s Tacos.
By Unidentified20XD6

A sharp tap echoed through the room.

Celestia opened one bloodshot eye.

“I know you’re in there. Open up, we need to talk!”
She raised her head and opened the other eye. Looking around the flat, she saw the mess it was in. Scrolls and books were scattered around haphazardly. The dishes in the sink hadn’t been washed for weeks, and had slowly migrated from the sink to the counters. She blinked and turned her eyes to the alarm clock next to her bed. In angry red numbers, it flashed 12:47. Celestia groaned and pushed herself up and out of the bed.
The knocking got louder and more frenzied.
“Come on, I don’t have all day,” said the voice at the door.
“Just a minute,” Celestia replied. She walked across the clutter of takeout boxes to the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She noticed with resignation that her pink hair was a tangled mess.
The pounding at the door was strong enough to cause the windows to rattle.
“Hold your horses, I will be there in a second!”
Celestia ran a brush through the tangled mess on her head. After a few seconds, the mane started to look almost normal. Using magic to grab a second brush, she started working on her white coat, brushing out the crumbs from last night’s dinner. She primped and preened for a minute or so, making sure she looked her best. Ignoring the pounding of hooves on her door, she magically crammed everything on the floor into the bathroom and closed the door.

The sound of hind legs smashing against the thick wood of the frame reverberated through the flat.

“I’m coming!”

Celestia walked to the door and put on a big smile. The door unlocked and swung open.

“How can I help you today, Mrs. He-”

“You’re late with rent. I need it today, otherwise I will have to evict you. I don’t want to, but you’ve had two weeks to get it.” The silver mare stood, waiting for an answer.

“See, the funny thing is, well...”
Mrs. Hearthome sighed. A look of dispair spread across her face. “You don’t have the money, do you.” It wasn’t a question, but a dejected statement. Celestia thought she heard pain in the old mare’s voice.
“No, no. I have the money, just not with me. You see, I have some friends that owe me-”
“No more lies, Celestia. I’m done. I want you and your things out by midnight. That gives you...” She glanced at the clock. “Eleven hours, give or take.”
“Come on! You can’t do this to me!”
“I just did. I will be here at midnight with a police escort to pick up the keys. I want them in an envelope on the counter, and I want to see no sign that you were ever here. You do that, and I will forgive the last two weeks of rent.”
With that, Mrs. Hearthome walked out of the flat. Celestia stood for a second, at a loss for words. She sat on the corner of her bed, dejected. A lone tear slid down her blank face. It took effort, but Celestia corraled her fear, sadness, and hurt. The emotions struggled against her mental barrier, but not one passed into the forefront of her mind. She sat, quietly contemplating her next move.

Mrs. Hearthome arrived at the apartment a little later than she anticipated, opening the front door at half past. The place looked clean. Satisfied, she walked to the counter around the kitchen area and saw an envelope. Opening the envelope, she saw the keys and a small pile of bits. “That’s odd,” she said, bemused. She started walking around the flat, giving it a once over. There was some damage to the walls, but nothing major. The stuff was cleaned off the floor, and somepony had swept it pretty well too. No mopping, but that was fine. She finished the rounds and went to check the bathroom. Good. Clean and ready to roll. Satisfied that her inspection was complete, she opened the back door and screamed.

Celestia stood nearby on a small hill, smiling to herself. She had shoved everything she didn’t want to carry into the backyard, and it appeared that the old mare had found her little prank. She let out a hoarse chuckle, and started down to the old house. Mrs. Hearthome had left, no doubt to call the police, so she had to hurry. Celestia used her magic to pick up all the trash and compact it down into a cube the size of a baby dragon. She buried the cube underneath the patch of dirt they called the backyard and went on her way.

Celestia sat at the admissions office of Canterlot University. “Yes, I am sure. I need to drop out of the classes, I can’t handle them at the moment. There’s a small crisis going on.”

The colt sat at his desk, hooves on the table. “Well, I can’t give you a full refund for the classes, school policy. It’s a month into the term, and the rules clearly state that after the first week, all class refunds drop to 50%.”

“You don’t understand, I really need the money,” Celestia replied. She tried her best to look disheveled. “I need the money to get back home. There’s an emergency, and-”

She stopped, the look on the colt’s face telling her that her pleas were falling on deaf ears.

“Look, maybe I can talk to your supervisor or something.”

“Ma’am. I’m sure you have a great reason as to why you need the money. Talking to my supervisor will do nothing to help your cause, however. I suggest you take this piece of paper over to the enrollment office to have it notarized. Have a wonderful day.”

Celestia sat at the small, grassroots tea shop waiting for the owner to walk over and tell her she had been loitering long enough. The last few weeks had been hell. She hadn’t been able to get a proper bath in days, and was beginning to smell. Her hair, usually so well kept, was falling into disarray. She sat at the table, her head down in shame. How could she have fallen so far? Her first year of Canterlot University for Gifted Unicorns had gone so well. She realized that she needed to find a way to make money, a way to keep herself busy, a way to take her mind off of her current predicaments. She looked up at the counter, and saw the staff staring back at her, muttering to themselves.

“Well, I guess it’s time I head on my way,” she said aloud. “I’m not TEA-sing, either.” She waited for a reaction, but none came. She frowned and glared at them. Maybe they would get the hint and laugh. She stood and made her way for the exit. On the street, she started wandering to the laundromat she had been staying at for the past three days. The once proud alicorn walked with a stoop in her step, hoping nopony was paying any attention to her. She reflected on the last week. After taking what she could get from her classes, she spent the rest of the day looking for a place to rent. She tried looking high and low, but to no avail. There was nopony willing to rent to a tenant who couldn't make the down payment and didn’t have a stable source of income. After the second day of searching, she had decided to find a job. She realized that nopony wanted to hire a person who didn’t have a home. She reflected on the irony of the situation before pushing it out of her mind. A stiff breeze picked up, and she quickened her pace.

She thought about going home, but she didn’t think she could stand the look of disappointment on the faces of her parents. Or the ribbing she would get from her sister, come to think of it. As she thought, her stomach rumbled. Add it to the list of things I need to take care of today, she thought. About a block from the laundromat, she smelled something good. Without much else to distract her, she followed her nose and found it led to a garbage can outside a small veggieburger joint. The sign said “Buneymooners.” Celestia rolled her eyes at the pun, and then started looking through the trash. She found what she was looking for. A rye bun surrounding a grilled blend of greens. She opened her mouth, and then realized she was about to eat garbage. Revulsion filled her, and she threw the unwrapped mess back on top of the bin. She unfurled her wings and crouched for her escape.

“Hey, you!”

Celestia flinched. She closed her wings and slowly turned to face the pony addressing her.

“Yes?” Celestia appraised the pony talking to her. He was a brown earth pony with a gray mane. He opened his mouth, and she noticed he was missing a tooth.

“If’n you’re hungry, I might be able to get you a bite.”

“That’s very nice of you, but I’m not that hungry and I really need to be going.” Her stomach interrupted, grumbling in protest.

“It’s on th’ house.”

Celestia smiled. “If you put it that way...”

Celestia sat at the table, her muzzle in the salad that was in front of her.

“Slow down, taste the greens.”

Celestia looked up and gave a sheepish grin. She slowly started chewing the dandelion that graced the plate. She glanced at the brown equine, and saw that he was staring at her. To keep herself occupied, she threw her eyes around the room. She noticed that the place was fairly old, with a dark green floor that reminded her of chalkboards. The walls were bare except for a window next to the door. The floor wasn’t any better. The black and white checkerboard was only broken here and there by a chair or table. The brown pony saw her eyes darting

“Parents were pegasus, they chose the name before I was born.” He shrugged. “Can’t hold it against them, I guess. What’s your story? Better yet, what should I call you?”

Celestia finished chewing before she replied. “My name is Celestia. I was attending CU for a while, but funds ran low. Now I’m here, accepting meals from strangers.”

“Nothin’ wrong with that,” Sky Runner said, a grin creeping along his face. “It humbles one up pretty fast, don’t it?”

Celestia frowned. “Who says I need humbling?”

“You can always learn to be a little more humble, miss. I didn’t mean to offend. I’m just making little observations from my few years on this planet.”

Celestia dropped her gaze.

“Listen. I’m glad you stopped in. I was about to close up. You want to help?”

“Well... I didn’t really have anything else to do. Sure, why not?”

Celestia stood up and followed Sky into the kitchen. She stood and did dishes as the brown colt swept the floor and wiped down the counters. He did most of the talking, but Celestia didn’t mind. She slid off into her own world, not paying attention to anything but the dishes in front of her. In what seemed like no time, she was done.

“What did you need me to do next,” she called out.

“Nothing. That should be good.”

Celestia walked to Sky, who had his back to her.

“Here, take this. It’s not much, but it should help.” He turned around, a small bag of bits in his hoof.

Celestia thought about refusing his offer, but she saw in his eyes he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Using magic, she grabbed the bag.

“Thanks.”

“Any time. If you find yourself in the neighborhood, feel free to stop by.”

Celestia nodded, and left. She began walking to the laundromat, a spring in her step. She got two blocks away before she slowed down and looked inside the sack. It had some greens, a piece of paper, and what looked like an entire register’s worth of bits. Shocked, she turned around, making a beeline for the restaurant. She arrived and tried the door. It was locked. She jumped into the air, hoping to get a glimpse of Sky. What she saw wasn’t surprising, but it was disappointing. There was no sign of him. Celestia flew in increasing circles, looking for the colt, but to no avail. I’ll bring the money back tomorrow, she thought to herself. She banked north and began to glide to the Laundromat. When she arrived, she sat down in the waiting chairs, mentally preparing herself for another long night. She opened the bag again, and pulled out the paper. The edges had yellowed with age, and it was covered in writing. Some had been crossed out or scribbled over, and the writing that was left untouched was faded. She didn’t know what to expect, but it sure wasn’t what she found written. The top proclaimed simply “Tacos.”

3 cups Romaine, thinly sliced

2 plum tomatoes

Black beans

Distracted, Celestia looked in the bag. What she saw now made sense. The bag was filled with the necessary ingredients to make tacos. She looked at the bag, then back to the paper. Oil? Check. Onions? In here too. Celestia continued on down the list, making sure she had everything. When she hit the bottom, she smiled. That wily old colt. He’s given me enough to make a quadruple batch!Celestia’s moment of elation lasted until she realized there would be no way for her to eat everything before it went rancid. It would be a shame for everything to go to waste.Using magic to carry the bag behind her, Celestia began idly walking down the street in an attempt to clear her mind. She walked for several blocks, deep in thought before her concentration was broken by a puddle. She saw her reflection with just enough time to jump to the side. As a reflex, she flared her wings, and was rewarded with a wave of pain that almost made her drop the bag.

“Ouch!”

Celestia turned her head and saw a pile of discarded crates in a decrepit alley. Irritated, she bucked at the nearest one. It flew and hit the wall with enough force to break into pieces.

“Stupid box,” Celestia mumbled. “Who would leave a pile of wooden scraps just sitting in an alley?” The trek continued, but the image of the pile of scrap wood refused to leave her mind. She closed her eyes and shook her head from side to side, exhaling. Why wood? Why there? I mean, it’s practically in the middle of the walkway. I should go back and move it. No one would miss it.

She turned around and began walking back. The bag of bits jangled, and the smell of food wafted up to her nostrils. No one will miss it. What if instead of throwing it away, I took it and used it to make a roadside taco stand? No, that would be impractical. Scratch that, it’s stupid. There’s no way it would work. But what have I got to lose? I mean, it’s not like I can finish all this food. She looked at the sky. The sun was about 15 minutes from crossing the horizon. She placed the bag of food on the ground beside her, and began to work.

“Tacos! Get your fresh tacos! Two bits for a bite, five bits for three!”

Eyes turned to the majestic mare standing behind a makeshift wooden cart.

“Better get them before they’re gone! Limited supplies! Buy them now, or forever lose your chance!”

Celestia had cleaned up well for not having access to a bathhouse. She had found that in a pinch, magic can get rid of tangles in a mane, and that a quick fly through some clouds worked almost as well as a professional groomer to get rid of stains or smells. She put on her best smile and said in a sing-song voice

“Best tacos known to pony-kind! You, sir! How dare you not give your fine friend over there the best flavor sensation she’s ever had in her life? I’d tell you to leave him now, Ma’am, if you didn’t make such a cute couple.”

There was a smattering of laughter.

“How could I say no to that?” The colt grinned. “Give me two of your finest.”

“Sir, there is no way I would even think of giving you less than the best!” Two tacos flew out of the stand, and in midair wrapped themselves in paper. “Eat them while they’re fresh. No reason to let perfection go to waste!”

The colt dropped four bits in the collection bin and walked away, followed closely by an embarrassed-looking unicorn.

“Two down, sixteen to go! Who else wants to go on a vacation with their taste buds?”

Celestia dropped the 33 bits into her bag and closed her eyes. The sound of the money banging was music to her ears. She didn’t believe that she would make that much today, but she had sold out her entire stock. She had a skip in her step for the first time since she was evicted, and she didn’t care who knew it. She whistled to herself as she walked to the grocery store. Not long into her trek, she heard the WHOOSH!of sliding doors, powered by a bored-looking unicorn in a cubby. Without thinking why, she tossed a coin in the unicorn’s direction and knocked the violet thing out of her stupor.

“Wha-hey. Thanks, I guess.”

“Put a smile on your face. It can’t be that bad, can it?” Celestia continued her journey through the store, stocking up on all the ingredients she needed to make more tacos. Feeling like she had finally gotten a hoof up in this situation, she called out for the assistance of a nearby employee.

“Excuse me, but when does your freshest produce come in?”

“We get it almost every other day. Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.”

“Thank you. One more question, who is your supplier?”

“Oh, that would be Harvey’s Greens. He comes in about two hours before we open, if you’re interested in stopping by.”

“Perfect. Thanks for all the help. I really appreciate it.” Celestia tossed a bit at the mare.

“Sorry, I can’t accept this. Company policy and all that.” She tried to give the bit back, but Celestia turned her tail and walked away, ignoring the protest. The cogs in her head started turning, and the birth of a plan was readable on her face. It feels good to have a scheme again,she thought. She meandered through the aisles, snagging everything exactly as was written on the list. Once she had everything, she pushed the groceries to the front of the store and put them on the counter.

“Looks like you got enough stuff here for one heck of a party. Care if I come?”

Celestia looked at the young stallion standing at the register. I give him another two months. He’s already bored, you can see it. Bored with the job, bored with the banter, bored with the customers. “You’re more than welcome to stop by anytime,” she replied, winking an eye. That oughta perk him up a little. It was obvious the stallion was flustered, but he managed to get out a reply.

“So where is it?”

“Corner of Stockley and Burk. I’m serious, by the way. Stop by, and bring your friends.”

The stallion looked at her, and Celestia noticed that this time he wasn’t looking at her with his “customer to get rid of” glasses, but actually seeing her. She felt a momentary rush of pleasure as she grabbed her bags and walked away. Her coin purse noticeably lighter but her load drastically increased, Celestia began the walk back to her ally. Once there, she dropped the load of food onto the pallets she had next to her cart, and began prepping her ingredients for the next day.

The sun was two hooves over the horizon when Celestia got her first customer. Celestia gladly exchanged her tacos for the mare’s money, and quickly resumed her vocal tirade.
“Crunchy a lot! Fresh and hot! Come on, Canterlot, come taste what I’ve got!” It wasn’t long before a small circle of ponies gathered around to see what the fuss was about. Some walked away smiling, some plugged their ears, and some just ignored the fuss. But there was always another pony willing to buy a taco off the young mare, even if there was never a line. Four hours after she started, she had sold out of tacos.
“Sorry, everypony. That wonderful stallion over there just bought the last of today’s batch. Feel free to come again tomorrow! Maybe you’ll even be able to beat Mr. Greedy over there!” There was a smattering of laughter, and Celestia felt elated. Things were going better than she had hoped. Using magic, she took down the wooden sign she had made and began to roll the taco cart back to the alley she had been storing it in. She had just finished hiding it for the day when she saw the brown sack Sky Runner had given her. A look of fear showed on her face as she remembered her promise to give the bag of bits back the next day. Without further adieu, she snagged the back and took off into the air. It was a short flight and a pleasant day, but Celestia still had a thin sheen of sweat covering her coat as she pushed open the door to his shop.
“Hello?”
From the back of the shop, she heard a voice call out “I’ll be right with you.”
Celestia stood in the door, breath caught in her lungs. What if he was irritated to see her? What if he wanted to kick her from the store? What if-
“Hey, what do you know. It’s my favorite dropout. Crestila, was it?”
“Close.” She laughed. “How are you doing, Sky?
Stretching his hooves, the old brown pony replied, “Business is business. Can’t complain much. What brings you back to my neck of the woods? I just finished cleaning the kitchen, so I can’t hire you for a temporary position again.”
“No, no. Nothing like that. I just wanted to return these.” Without fanfare, she quickly dropped the gold on the counter and started backing to the exit. “I don’t know if they got there by accident, but I didn’t want to keep them. It wouldn’t feel right.”
Sky Runner walked up to the bag and hefted it, feeling its weight. He poured the sack on the counter, and after a moment of counting said “There’s 15 more bits in here than when I gave it to you. Are you sure you don’t want it back?”
Celestia coughed. “No, no. Consider that interest for a loan.”
“You are a proud one, aren’t you?” He chuckled.
“No, I just don’t like being indentured to ponies.”

Sky Runner put the bits back in the bag, and left it sitting on the counter. He looked the embarrassed alicorn over once more and then said simply, “I didn’t think I’d see that bag again.”

Silence filled the room, and Celestia slowly started backing away. Before she could get to the door, however, Sky opened his mouth.

“In fact, I didn’t think I’d see you again either. So, where’d you get the extra fifteen bits?”

Celestia dropped her gaze to the floor. “I, uh. I used the things you gave me and made tacos, but there was too many to eat, so I sold them.” She stared intently at the cracks in the cheap linoleum, hoping to fall right through.

“So, you’re just as smart as I thought. It’s taken me years to develop that taco recipe. It’s a good one, and I hope it serves you well,” he enunciated with a cough. With that, he walked back into the kitchen. Celestia stood, eyes drawn from the floor to the bag of bits still sitting on the counter. She turned to leave. Her hoof was on the door before she heard his voice call out from the kitchen.

“Thanks.”

Celestia didn’t respond, just walked out the door and onto the street where she promptly unfurled her wings and took off into the sky.

Over the course of a month, Celestia built up a small following. She made the decision early on to move her cart to a new corner every few days in hopes to avoid confrontations from shop owners angry about the customers she pulled from their seats. She was worried that would drive off her fan base, but it only increased the demand for her tacos. Soon she was selling two hundred daily, with more orders coming in. Six weeks after she sold her first taco, she realized she needed help keeping up with the demand. In a few days, she had formulated a plan. That night, she began the search for a two-bedroom apartment. Her customers arrived at the established corner two hours before she normally opened her stand, only to find it already there with a note on it that read:

Dear Valued Customers,

Due to the increasing number of tacos you’ve been ordering, I’ve become unable to keep up with demand. I am currently hiring and training a new employee. Please, come and invite your friends as we’ll be having a Buy One Get One Free deal to celebrate our new location!

-Sincerely, Your friendly neighborhood taco vendor.

Celestia also quilled a letter to her sister.

Dear Luna,

How are you? Things have been going well for me. I’ve just finished my finals, and am looking for a way to spend the summer I was thinking about opening a roadside food stand, and

I was wondering if you’d be interested in joining me. We can hang out and maybe earn a little money. If you did want to come, I’m hoping you could be here by, say, the end of the week?

-Your sister, Tia.

Two days went by without a response, and then a letter with a hastily scribbled message ended up in her mailbox. It read simply:

I’d love to. Be there by Saturday. -L

Celestia allowed herself a gleeful shout before forcing her stoic nature to the surface. Mentally, she mapped out her small living quarters, and started cleaning. She had a long day ahead of her. She started in the kitchen, cleaning her taco experiments with a blast of magic. Through the house she went, shoving things into corners in order to give the appearance of more space. With that done, she headed out into the sunny day in order to find her and her sister a new home. She walked to the laundromat and gazed at the cork board hanging on the wall. Using her teeth, she grabbed the first poster she noticed advertising a two-bedroom home. With a quick stride, she began to head to the destination. By the time she arrived at 1871 Trotting Lane, she had worked up a sweat. Grimacing at the grimy layer, she walked into the front of the building. Above an arrow pointing to the left were the words “Manager’s Office.” Celestia took a breath and began to walk to the door. She knocked on the door, sending it from ajar to half open.
“Hello?” She called out.
“Come in!” A gruff voice answered.
Celestia allowed herself to trot into the room. A large wooden desk dominated the office. She noted that the paperwork sitting on the mirrored finish was organized into neat piles before looking into the stallion’s face.
“I’m assuming you’re here for a room. Name’s Mighty Rich. How can I do you for?”
Celestia cleared her throat and said “I’m looking to rent a two bedroom apartment. Preferably something with Pegasus access.”
Mighty snorted. “If that’s what you’re after, you’re in the wrong place. We don’t cater to anypony. If you’re just looking for a cheap place to hang your hat, though, we’ve got it. We can beat any price in the area.”
“What do you have available?”
Mighty’s head twisted to the side as he contemplated. “We’ve got a three bed one bath on the top floor. It’s the closest you’ll get to ‘Pegasus’ standards. Six hundred bits a month, two hundred down.”
Celestia frowned.
“Or we can do you for a two bed three floors up. Same square hoofage, only 525 a month. Sound doable?”
“Can I see it first?” Celestia tried her best to meet the eyes staring at her, but in the end had to look away.
“What type of pony would I be if I denied you? Sure, let me just grab the key.” He stood up, his joints popping. He turned his back and snagged a key hanging off the hook in the wall behind him and marched out the door. Celestia counted to four before following in order to assert her independence, if only to herself. The trip through the hall was uneventful, but the staircase felt as if it was going to collapse under their combined weight. Somehow they climbed up two sets and found themselves at the door. Mighty pushed, and the door released its hold on the frame with a loud pop. Celestia’s nostrils flinched as the smell hit her nose. It was the smell of desperation, fear, and cats. Lots and lots of cats.

Blinking and turning her head to the side, she said “Who, uh... What lived here?”

The stallion turned without batting an eye. “Older mare. Couldn’t get up and down the stairs anymore, so she left. She liked breeding cats, for some odd reason.”
Celestia groaned. “Drop the monthly to 400, and we have a deal.”
Mighty flashed his teeth. “If I did that, I’d be losing money. 500.”
“425. Firm.”
“450. Final offer.”
“Throw in a case of air freshener, and you’ve got a deal.” Celestia saw Mighty Rich grin and returned the gesture.
“You’re a hard bargainer, aren’t you? Fine. It’ll have to be ‘Mountain Fresh,’ though.

Celesta allowed herself to be lead down to the office to sign the paperwork. After a few signatures, she left the company of Mighty Rich and headed back to her loft in order to start packing.

Celestia had just finished the several day process of unpacking and decided to take a shower. Just as the water started falling, she heard a knock at the door. Quickly using her magic, she stemmed the water flow and jumped out of the bathroom. She trotted to the front door and swung it open. Standing in the hallway, several bags on the ground, was Luna.

“Tia!”

“Luna!”

The sisters embraced with smiles on their lips. They pulled apart, and Luna said “You smell like sweat, and this place doesn’t smell much better.”

“You’re one to talk! Did you stop at all on the way here?”

Luna smiled sheepishly. “No, why? Besides, your house smells like...”

“A fresh mountain?” Celestia interjected.

“I was going to say old grass and ozone. What does a fresh mountain even smell like?” Luna replied.

“Whatever it is you’re smelling now,” Celestia retorted. “At least, that’s what it says on the can. You should have smelled it before I sprayed.”

“No thanks.” Luna walked in, using magic to carry her bags. “So, where’s my room?”

Celestia gestured at the larger of the two bedrooms. “That one over there.”

Luna began to make her way to the room. Taking advantage in the break, Celestia started walking to the bathroom.

“I’m headed into the shower, I’d suggest you do the same. I’ll hurry up, though. You can start getting unpacked if you want.” The sounds of Luna dropping her stuff on the ground was her only reply. Rolling her eyes and shaking her head, she started the water again.

After they had both cleaned themselves, they met in the spartan living room where they sat in silence. Eventually, the quiet was broken by Luna, who asked simply “How have things been?”

Celestia stared at the wall for a few more seconds, formulating a reply. “They’ve had their ups and downs. I’m currently climbing, I think. But whether what I’m climbing is a hill or a mountain...”

Silence overtook them again. Celestia broke the reprise after a few moments.

“So. How was home?”

“Same as usual.”

Again, the only sound to be heard was their breathing as they sat next to each other. Neither spoke when Celestia stood up and walked to the sink and filled up two glasses. Luna didn’t say anything when a glass was set on the floor next to her, and Celestia didn’t make a peep as she sat back down. Spontaneously, they both spoke up.

“So, what are we cooking?”

“So, what do you know about cooking?”

They laughed, and then Celestia stood up.

“Tacos. I’ve been selling tacos for the past few weeks. I know it sounds stupid, but-” Celestia was cut off.

“I can do tacos, I think. Say, how did your classes end up?” Luna stared at her sister, waiting for a response.

“Fine, fine. Want to, uh, well... Want to start learning?” Celestia quickly changed the topic. Luna continued to watch her sister, but Celestia refused to meet her gaze. “I have all the ingredients right here in the icebox if you wanted to get started now. Or maybe you wanted to get out and see the area? There’s a decent park about a block away with a really nice fountain.”

Celestia trailed off, noticing her sister hadn’t so much as blinked.

“How did you say you got into making tacos?” Luna queried.

“Long story,” said Celestia.

“We’re not going anywhere.”

Celestia met her sister’s piercing stare. “Not even to the park?”

Luna tried to keep her stare, but lost it when she saw her sister smile. “Fine, I know a blow off when I hear it. Let’s get started on these tacos. What do I need to do?”

“That’s the sister I know and love,” Celestia said, eyes gleaming. “First, you need to take the beans and soak them in saltwater...”

The two sisters stood at their makeshift stand as Celestia watched the sun rise from its slumber.

“Is it just me, or is the sun coming up earlier than usual?.”

“No. Well, yes. We’re going into spring, so the days are going to be longer. Besides, who appointed you ruler of the sun?”

Luna gasped and glared at her sister, but was disarmed by Celestia’s charming grin. After a second, they both started laughing. Once the outburst had finished, they set to work tidying up their area and prepping the ingredients for sale. The morning passed quickly, and it wasn’t long before the first customer of the day showed up with a request to be fed. The two girls quickly made his order, laughing as they did so. The day went on, and they worked together, making tacos as ordered. It soon became clear that while Celestia was good with the customers, Luna was great. She could keep them happy and talking, giving Celestia the time she needed to make everything to perfection. When Luna was with the tacos, however, she had issues. Mild complaints, such as “too salty,” “not enough lettuce,” “this is taking forever,” began to pile up. By the end of the day, they had each decided that Luna should stay up front, and Celestia should handle the cooking.

The regal sisters were walking home after stashing their cart in an alley. Their hooves made sharp clacking sounds on the stone street, in direct contrast to the stillness of the night. No crickets were chirping, no bats were shrieking. It seemed as if the only two living creatures in all of Equestria were quickly walking down the path.
“Tia?”
“Hmm?” Celestia shook herself out of the mental cobwebs surrounding her thoughts.
“I was asking how we did this week.” Luna sighed, the bags under her eyes visible even in the light of the half moon.
“Oh. Uh, we’re in the green. I’m sure of that. We need to get home so I can do the math and figure out how green we are.” Celestia stopped walking. Luna went on for a few more feet before stopping and turning to face her sister. “Luna, what did you think? I mean, your first week here. How was it?”
Luna’s eyes closed as she formulated an answer. “Meeting new ponies was fun, but I’m not really cut out to cook.”
“Which is why you’re at the counter,” Celestia replied.
“Which is why I’m at the counter,” Luna agreed.
The two ponies stood for a second longer before Celestia started walking again. The two of them headed down the corner, making the turn as tightly as they could.
“My hooves hurt. From standing on them all day.” Luna closed her eyes and walked blindly for a few steps before opening them again. “But the night makes me feel better.”
Celestia continued her march without replying.
“Tia, are you mad or something?”
“No. Just tired.”
Silence enveloped them as they walked the last stretch of road to their home. Out of nowhere, Luna started galloping, bumping into her sister in the process. “Bet you can’t beat me,” she shouted, her voice breathy over the sound of steady hoofbeats. Celestia grinned, then spread her wings.
“Bet all you want, little sister.” She jumped into the air, making it a point to brush Luna’s ear with her tail as she glided over.
“No fair!”
“All’s fair in love and war,” came the reply.
Luna’s horn began glowing, and she sent out a burst of magic that caught her sister and froze her in place. She gently lowered her sister to the ground before walking closer. Maneuvering herself, she got face to face with her frozen opponent, staring into the eyes that were filled with anger.
“All’s fair in love and war, right?”
Celestia glared at her sister before her eyes softened. Luna released the magic, and Celestia began laughing. Luna joined in, their voices echoing off the buildings surrounding them. Without warning, Celestia bolted. Luna tried to follow, but realized she couldn’t move her legs and fell over.

“TIA!”

Celestia laughed louder as she ran to the building. It wasn’t until she had her front hoof in the doorway before she released the magic pinning her sister and walked casually in. By the time she had reached their apartment door, Luna had caught up. Celestia giggled, and they entered their apartment together.

Days turned into weeks, which turned into months. The two mares ran the taco stand day in and day out, making the best tacos ever seen in the area. Their popularity and renown soon lead to the elite members of the town coming and partaking in their offers. The ponies that came did so for the wonderfully tasty tacos, but stayed because the dynamic of the two sisters was something to behold. Walking to the roadside stand, their eyes would instantly be filled with the sight of a dark blue mare, a smile from cheek to cheek. She’d take your order and your name, and remember both, even if you didn’t come back for a month. She’d ask about how your colt was doing in school while queuing your order, and then compliment your wonderful taste in mane dye. As soon as you could tear your gaze from the blue, almost black hair flowing from her neck and shoulders, you’d see a white contrast in the background.

Before you can draw your focus to the distraction, your nostrils would fill with a harmonic scent. You’d close your eyes, trying to place the smell. Was it the beans? No, it has to be the sulfuric odor of onions. But wait, the sharp bite of peppers is in the air. Could it be the tomatoes? With your eyes closed, you can hear the sizzling of the grill, cooking the vegetable blend you know will be your next meal The tinkle of magic blends into the sound of the stove, working in a way that symphonies rarely achieve.. It’s the sound of love, of friendship. You’d open your eyes and look to the back.

With pink mane flowing over a white body, you’d spy the second sister. No less important, even if she was only in the back. With a speed and grace usually reserved for professional acrobatic fliers, she’d dice the tomatoes, onions, and cilantro that made the pico de gallo. Simultaneously, she’d cook the beans in both a fryer and the taco shells on the stove, spinning like a ballerina. At her best, she could put out nearly a taco a second. The garnishes would land on the food in the Styrofoam containers just before they snapped shut. As the container hits the counter, you’d have trouble deciding whether to focus on it or the happy face of the mare in front of you. Eventually, you’d decide to glance once more at the stand and its occupants before snagging the container and heading to the nearby curb in order to enjoy the meal as soon as possible.

The end of the summer was within sight before Celestia sat her sister down and had a conversation with her about leaving the stand for school again.

“It’s just for a semester, after all. I mean, it’s not like I’ll be gone forever. You can go home to mom and dad, or just...” Celestia saw the look on her sister’s face and fell silent.

“No. I want to stay here. I’m not going to go back, Tia.” The look on Luna’s face was one of determination, but flickers of fear were visible beneath her visage. Celestia saw them, but decided not to push it.

“Well, what do you suggest?”

“I’ll just run the stand alone,” came the reply. Celestia stared into her sister’s eyes, noticing that the fear had been replaced with a spark of joy.

“Luna, I can’t let you do that,” she sighed. “I mean, you’re not ready for that responsibility. There’s no way. None.”

Luna refused to drop her gaze. A glint of steel flashed in her face, and Celestia realized this was one battle she couldn’t win.

“Ok, ok,” conceded Celestia. “If you can prove to me you’ve got the art of making tacos down pat, I’ll let you run the stand in my stead. But if I get the feeling you’re not able to keep up, I’ll close it down in a heartbeat. Sound fair?”

Luna’s face broke out in a grin. “I’ll have taco making down pat by the time you leave, Tia.”

The following months were fairly uneventful. Celestia moved into the dorms so she could return to college, and Luna ran the taco stand. Without the duo, popularity waned, but never fully abated. Luna was able to pull in enough bits to cover rent, and not once did Celestia have to intervene. At first, she’d check in almost daily, but as the semester wore on, the visits became less and less frequent. By the end of the first quarter, she had stopped checking in altogether. The two would occasionally exchange letters, but the papers never contained anything more than smalltalk between the two. The last letter Luna received from Celestia was postmarked December 9th, a full two weeks before finals. Contact between the two was non-existent from that point on until a week into the summer break, when Celestia showed up on Luna’s porch unannounced.

The sun had just reached the horizon when Luna heard the rough sound of hoof meeting wood. She arose from her slumber and walked to the door. All she saw through the peephole was a mass of pink fuzz, so with trepidation she opened the door. Standing in the hallway was her sister, but her mane and tail were different. They had changed from their previous all-encompassing pink into a flowing wave of pastels. Blue, green, and purple had joined in with the pink in an ever-flowing pattern. It was hypnotic. Luna tried to pull her gaze away, but was unable.

Celestia opened her mouth and coughed. “Care to, uh, let me in?”

Luna shook her head and stepped aside. “What happened to your hair?”

“Oh, I had it dyed. I think it looks better now, don’t you?” She spun in a tight circle, letting the hair spin out in a fan. Luna remained silent. Celestia coughed again, and then asked “So. How’ve things been at the taco stand?”

“Oh, things have been going pretty smoothly. How did school go?”

“Fine, fine. So, when do we start?”
“Start what?” Luna stared blankly at her sister.
“You know. When does it open?” Celestia’s smile faded.
“Uh, the taco stand? Same time, I guess,” came the reply.
“Good. So same as last time, then? I’ll take back and you do front,” Celestia said.
“Excuse me?” Luna’s voice rose. “You’ve been gone for over a year.”
“And now I’m back,” she replied. “I’m ready to take over the stand again.”
Luna’s face froze. “Take over? Again? You’re kidding me. You haven’t even written in the past six months, and you expect to take control of my stand? I don’t know what you were-”
“Your stand?” Celestia’s voice went deadly quiet. “It’s not your stand. It never was.”
“You couldn’t even handle it!” Spittle flew from Luna’s mouth. “You had to call for help from your little sister! And once you saw that I was better than you at running it, you ran off!”
Angry and hurt, Celestia closed her eyes and dropped her head. Speaking to the floor, she began to talk.
“It was always my stand. You may have been invited, but that was only because I felt bad for you, cooped up with Mom and Dad, no plans for the future. I’d never actually trust you with anything of importance.”

“So the taco stand isn’t important to you,” interjected Luna. “Good to know. Now just march your tie-dye hair job out of my apartment now or I’ll get the manager.”
“Your apartment. You mean this one? The one in MY name?”
Luna scoffed at her sister. “Yeah. It’s only yours on paper. I’ve been paying the rent and maintaining the place. It’s not yours. Same as the taco stand.”
Celestia felt the dam inside her break. She began to scream at her sister. “You little, impudent whelp! If it wasn’t for me, you’d still be rotting away underneath Cloudsdale, wishing for that freak Gryphon to glance at your direction so you could pretend somepony actually cared about you!”
Luna lost her cool. Shouting loud enough to rattle windows, she exclaimed “You leave him out of this. You lost the ability to talk about home when you abandoned us! Don’t even mention my parents. You lost the ability to call them that when you told them they were lower than the scum under your hoof!”
Celestia’s horn began to glow, and a bolt of yellow power flew at her sister. Luna cast her own projectile of blue energy, and the two clashed in the middle of the room. The duel lasted for fifteen seconds, with neither managing to get the advantage over the other. Sweat was pouring off both their hides when the front door flew open, and a brown earth pony stood in the doorway.

The sound of the door smashing into the wall distracted the two sisters, and the magical display stopped as if someone pulled the plug.

“Well, what do we have 'ere?” said Cloud Runner.

Celestia stared in amazement at the old stallion, unable to speak. Her sister had no such inhibitions.

“The door was closed! How dare you come barging in!”

Cloud Runner turned his gaze to Luna. “My dear, I figgure it's a good thing I did. If'n you two were at blows, I'd say that requires an interjection.”

Chastised but not apologetic, Luna glared at Cloud Runner. He returned the stare with one of his own before speaking.

“You two fighting over a taco stand?”

“How'd you know what we were fighting about?” Celestia asked.

“You were fighting so loud, I wouldn't be surprised if everypony on the floor didn't know what you're fighting about. What say we all just calm down here? You,” he gestured to Luna, “come over here by the window. The white one, the opposite wall.”

They split up and walked to their destinations as Sky Runner mediated. Once they were firmly planted on their respective sides, he walked into the middle.

“Now, I'm not good with fights. Or loud noises, come to think of it. So let's just keep everything civil. No need to raise our voices. OK?”

Celestia and Luna nodded, and Sky Runner closed his eyes.

“Now, you're fighting over a taco stand. And apparently, you're sisters. Now, I've come to realize, with my own ventures, that working with family is not something a smart pony does. It leads to fights, as you have learned. So, I propose a challenge. Whoever cooks the best taco wins the stand. Loser walks away empty handed.”

A flash of fear passed over Celestia's features. I haven't cooked a taco in months! And in the meanwhile she's had daily practice! I don't even remember the recipe. Luna noticed the trepidation on her sister's face, and immediately nodded her consent to Sky Runner's plan.

He continued. “Way I see it, comin' to blows won't solve anything. That just shows who's stronger, and that means nothing to us now. But who makes the better taco... Now that's relevant.”

When neither of the two alicorns objected, he turned tail and walked out of the apartment.

“Come along, I don't got all day.”

The siblings walked side by side behind the old pony, neither sparing a glance to the other. The trip to his apartment was a short one, but seemed to take an eternity. Celestia walked it like a doomed pony to her incarceration. Desperate to recover from her moment of weakness, she kept a stony demeanor through the entire duration of the silent walk. Luna, however, couldn't keep a smug grin off her mouth. The progression stopped at the door of home number 341, when Sky Runner pushed the door open. The home was fairly clean, but the kitchen was absolutely spotless. The counter tops were buffed to a bright sheen, while the metal stove and sink were polished to a mirror finish.

“Now, the rules are simple,” he said. “Using anything you can find, make the best taco possible. Winner gets the stand. I ask that you keep conversation to a minimal level. An' make sure to share. No hogging my equipment. Go.”

They sprung into action. Sky Runner sat down on his couch and watched the two without uttering a word. The sound of knives and magic quickly filled the air, followed soon by mouthwatering scents. Luna worked diligently, making tacos as picture perfect as possible. By comparison, Celestia's tacos clearly showed her lack of practice at the craft. It wasn't long until the steaming plates of food landed in front of the tired earth pony. He closed his eyes and took a bite first of Luna's offering, chewing and swallowing. Without opening his eyes, he bit off a chunk of Celestia's meal.

Satisfied that he had done what he could, Sky Runner swallowed the food and opened his eyes. “The white one wins,” he said gruffly.

The smug look of satisfaction on Luna's face melted, and anger moved in to replace it. Without a word, she kicked the door open with her hoof, leaving a hole in the cheap wood. Trying to walk with dignity but failing, Luna left the room and made her way to the stairs.

Celestia watched her sister leave before speaking.

“Why me?”

“I gave the idea to you, Celestia. Not your sister. Not your neighbor. You. If I wanted her t' have it, I'd've given it to'er.” Sky Runner stared at Celestia. “Now, if you don't try to patch this over with your sister now, you may lose her. I have high hopes for you. Don't let me down.”
Without a word, Celestia left through the broken door. She managed to catch up to her sister just before she took off into the skies.
“Luna! LUNA!”
Her sister stayed crouched, wings unfurled. “What? What could you possibly want?”
“You to come work with me.”
Luna snorted. “No. I’m going to run you out of business, Celestia. The next time you see me, I’ll have the best taco recipe known to ponykind.” Without another word, she took off. Celestia stood her ground, watching her sister fly away. She stood there as the regal form of her sister faded to a dot, and then as the dot faded into nothing. Tears now flowing from her eyes, Celestia ran upstairs to the apartment of Sky Runner, only to find it empty. Enraged and depressed, she kicked at his door, intending to put a second hole next to the first. She missed the wood, and decided that a second attempt wasn't worth her time. She stormed out of the complex and stood outside, scanning the skies. Not long later, it began to rain. Still, she did not move. The rains abated, but not before leaving Celestia soaked to the bone and shivering. When the time came, Celestia watched the sun fall out of the sky and waited for the moon to rise. It didn’t come. She stood there through the night, allowing herself time to mourn. But her tears didn’t last long. When the sun once more graced the sky with its presence, Celestia stopped her tears. Without missing a beat, she began to head down to the street corner where the taco stand stood.

And so time passed. Tia’s Tacos slowly became the largest monopoly ever seen in Equestria. In order to reduce costs, she purchased farmland and began to grow her own ingredients. Using her money, she bought up and destroyed any restaurant she could. Her competition was either closed, unable to compete with the rock-bottom prices and perfect ingredients, or bought outright and refurbished by Celestia. She became the most powerful equine in history. With the money she was able to pull in, she slowly began expanding. She purchased stores and chains. She made schools. With the power to educate all the young ponies in Equestria, Celestia finally had the ability to completely rewrite history.

She started small. Small changes, simply to see if it was possible to re-educate the masses. The history of her coming to power was changed from a small-town college dropout opening a taco stand with her sister to a more dramatic tale of betrayal, loss, and immense suffering. Casting herself as the savior, she made it seem that she and her sister had ruled Equestria for a millennium long gone. While the ponies enjoyed the sun, they rejected the kind offering of night by the sister. With that little change, it allowed Celestia to place the blame of the fight on the nameless denizens of her country, instead of herself. Instead of being enraged at being driven out of business and leaving to find the perfect taco recipe, Luna was cast as the villain Nightmare Moon, destroyer of day. It was, of course, Celestia who wielded the immense power and responsibility to exile her sister. She gave her sister a millennium to come to her senses, but with a caveat. By making the legend an old pony’s tale, if more time was needed, it would be easy to explain away. Celestia had rewritten history and become a God.

But still, she felt empty. Any attempt she made at sending a messenger to her sister ended poorly. They rarely came back, and those that did failed to find their target. Celestia built her empire, but pined emotionally for the sister she drove away with her vanity and pride. Still, she continued, in the hopes that one day the rift between them could be mended. Years passed. Celestia began hand picking the most talented ponies under her rule and training them to the best of her abilities, using them to cement her control over her new empire. It was at one such school that Celestia met a young unicorn with exceptional talent known as Twilight Sparkle.

Taking the young unicorn under her wing was the best choice Celestia ever made. Twilight was smart, powerful, and most of all completely obedient to her master’s wishes. Celestia gave her any book and scrap of knowledge she could, making certain the young pony would know of the tales on the off-chance her sister could be found and reasoned with. She kept her student close, in order to have complete control over everything Twilight could learn.

On the spring of the 1000th anniversary, Celestia herself began to hunt for her sister. After weeks of searching, she managed to trace her sister to a cave located deep in dragon country. Bracing herself for the confrontation she knew was coming, she walked into the cave. The first thing that she noticed was the smell. Urine, desperation, and rotten food all intermingled, creating a scent that was absolutely vile. As her eyes adjusted, she was able to make out more and more of the surroundings. Green globs were piled high in lumps. Closer inspection showed the piles to be made of molding tacos. Rice, beans, and tomatoes were smeared across the floor. Celestia carefully made her way deeper into the putrid cave. When her eyes started to water, she used magic to clean the air in a sphere around herself. It wasn’t strong enough to completely displace the odor, but she found that it reduced the smell enough that she could manage. Another spell was cast, this time to illuminate the area. A shriek greeted Celestia’s ears, and she quickly dimmed the light and ran to the noise.

Curled in a fetal position, face buried into her wing, was Luna. Her once flowing mane, speckled with stars, had turned into a pale, sickly blue. It was obvious Luna hadn’t cleaned herself in years. The spots without grime coating them were wet with sweat.
“Wha-why-who’s there,” came stuttering out of the mass on the floor. The voice was muffled and rough from neglect..

“Luna? Luna, can that really be you?” Celestia stooped down, staring at her sister.
A loud shout came from the prone figure on the ground. “Who’s there? How do you know my name? Tell me who you are!”
“It’s been too long, sister.”
At those words, Luna pulled her head out of her wing. Squinting, she looked at her sister.
“Celestia,” spat the once majestic creature. “Why are you here, to mock me?”
“No, my sister. I’ve come to help.”
“Help? HELP? You destroyed me! Took away everything I had! I hate you! Leave me or I’ll... I’ll...”
“Luna, I beg you, please listen. We have been separated far too long. Please, at least talk to me.”
Luna stopped talking, but didn’t remove her gaze from the eyes of her sister. They waited there, in silence for a time, before Celestia decided to break it.
“If you won’t speak to me, at least listen.”
No reply.
“In the years you’ve been gone, you’ve no doubt heard of my exploits. I’m a ruler now, Luna. All of Equestria.”
A snort came from Luna’s muzzle. Celestia ignored it and continued.
“The taco stand was a great start, and I expanded. I now run an entire nation at peace with itself. The fight we had? It’s legend now. We are legends! It’s been 1000 years, little sister. So much has changed. I understand if you never want to see me again. After what I did, I couldn’t blame you. What I did was despicable and for that, I am truly sorry. But I didn’t come here solely for your forgiveness. I want you to take your rightful place by my side.”
Luna dropped her gaze. “What, older sister, did you have in mind?”
Celestia heard the venom forced into that sentence, but let it slide.
“The Summer Sun Celebration is coming up in a month. My plan is this simple. On the dawn of the celebration, you stage a coup. I’ll send one of my proteges after you, and you will need to lose, but not without a fight. Once that’s over, we will reconcile our differences and you may rule by my side.”
Angrily, Luna said “So. I lose to some worthless peon. Why? To show the populace how weak I am compared to you?”
“Not at all,” came the reply. “We need witnesses. Ones the people can trust. If I was to hunt you down alone and defeat you, the people might question exactly what happened. But if we have, say, six others around, no questions can be asked.”
Luna stared at her sister, anger in her eyes, but a spark of curiosity had shown up as well. “And how, dear sister, would that make me a queen?”
“Simple,” said Celestia. “I’ll tell you in flight. That is, if you’re willing to join me.”
Luna stayed still as time progressed onwards. It was a solid fifteen minutes before she stood, shook herself, and walked to the mouth of the cave. Celestia followed, but they both stopped at the first beam of sunlight reaching into the hole.
“It’s been so long,” Luna said. A tear rolled down her cheek. Celestia put on her warmest smile, and the bubble of filtered air around her head popped.
“I know. Are you ready?”
The blue alicorn’s only response was to flare her wings and fly away. Celestia jumped into the sky, and led her sister to the kingdom of Canterlot.

Alternate Ending

“And that’s how Celestia and Luna became our rulers!” Pinkie Pie jumped up and down, smiling. Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle stood in shock.

“You... That... Wow,” was all that Scootaloo could say. The other fillies nodded in agreement.

“Great story, Pinkie. I really liked the bit in the middle,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Come back tomorrow! I’ll tell you another one! It’ll be fun!” Pinkie Pie bounced back into the kitchen at Sugarcube Corner.

“Yannow, I cahn’t tell if she’s jokin’ or not.” Applebloom said.

“So much for getting our cutie marks for historians. Maybe we should try Twilight next time,” replied Sweetie Belle.

“Or maybe we could go try getting our boxing cutie marks,” Scootaloo said, a gleam in her eye.

“No, that doesn’t sound like a good idea.”

“Sweetie Belle, you never want to do anything fun!”

“Scootaloo, wh-”

“Girls,” Applebloom interjected. “I like Pinkie’s stories. I’m comin’ back tommora with or without you.”

“Maybe you’re right, Applebloom. They are pretty fun. One more day can’t hurt, right?” Sweetie Belle smiled.