How Pinkie Pie "Saved" Hearth's Warming

Chapters

The Direct Approach
The Hearth's Warming Tale Method
Social Engineering
Intervention
The Discord Approach

The Direct Approach

“Come one, Applejack! We have to get to Twilight’s Castle as soon as possible! All of Hearth’s Warming Eve could depend on it!” Pinkie Pie cried out as she led Applejack on a mad dash through the festively decorated streets of Ponyville.

“Ah’m comin’, Pinkie!” Applejack said as she charged through the snow. “But, just what is this all about, anyway. Y’all didn’t really tell me anythin’ when y’ grabbed me out of the bar, ‘cept that it was some kind of emergency. Ah know it ain’t another map mission ‘cause mah flank ain’t glowin’, but that’s just about all Ah know.”

“Well, I was in my party planning cave getting ready for all the fun things that are going to go on during the holidays when suddenly it hit me!”

“What did?” Applejack asked.

“A box of streamers. Gummy knocked it down by accident while he was crawling around on the shelves. But, while I was putting everything away, I realized that this is going to be the first Hearth’s Warming that Moonwhisper has spent in Ponyville,” Pinkie said.

“Yep, it sure will. And that’s nice and all, but Ah don’t really see why it’s somethin’ worth kickin’ up a fuss over. Ah’m pretty sure Twilight’s got all that under control on her end.”

“Don’t you see, Applejack? Moonwhisper may not be a bad guy or anything, but he’s still a super grumpy-pants most of the time, and if Hearth’s Warming stories have taught me anything, its that grumpy-pantses always hate Hearth’s Warming and need to be taught the spirit of the holiday!”

“Uh huh,” Applejack said, starting to seriously doubt that she and Pinkie Pie were in agreement as to what sort of things constituted emergencies.

“If we don’t do something, Moonwhisper’s bad mood could ruin the holidays for Twilight and make her loose her Hearth’s Warming spirit too! And if the Princess of Friendship loses her Hearth’s Warming spirit, then that could make ponies all over Equestria stop caring about the holiday! It would be the end of Hearth’s Warming! And then, with Hearth’s Warming gone ponies would start being mean and fighting each other and the Windigos would come back and Equestria would be buried under snow and ice for a thousand years!”

“Are y’all really sure it’s all as serious as that?” Applejack asked. The farm pony knew from long experience that dislodging a ridiculous notion from Pinkie Pie’s mind was often akin to disarming a bomb. It required a delicate touch, and one wrong move could have explosively messy results. Still, Applejack felt compelled to try, if for no other reason than the fact that she was already caught in the metaphorical blast radius. “Besides, we don’t even really know how Moonwhisper feels about Hearth’s Warmin’ really. Fer all we know he might actually like the holiday.

“Oh Applejack,” Pinkie Pie said sadly as she shook her head. “If only things were that simple. Trust me, Moonwhisper needs help to see the wonders of Hearth’s Warming Eve, and I’m going to open his eyes or my name isn’t Pinkamena Diane Pie! Which it is! Unless mom and dad and my sisters have all been lying to me, but why would they do that? I mean, I guess it could be some kind of prank, but that would be a really long time to set up a prank, even for me. Plus, dad doesn’t even like pranks. Nope, my name’s definitely Pinkamena Diane Pie.” By the time Pinkie had resolved her brief existential crisis, the pair had arrived at the front doors to Twilight’s castle, the outside of which already bore a festive assortment of garlands and lights.

“Ah dunno, Pinkie, Twilight’s place sure looks like it’s been done up proper fer the season. Are y’all still sure Moonwhisper’s some holiday hatin’ grouch?” Applejack asked hopefully. Pinkie, however, didn’t seem particularly surprised by the revelation.

“Well, dud, Applejack, of course the castle’s going to have been decorated. It is Twilight’s, after all,” Pinkie Pie said as if she were explaining the painfully obvious. “I didn’t think Moonwhisper would suck out all the holiday spirit from Twilight that quickly. Now come on! We have a Hearth’s Warming to save!” Without waiting for Applejack to come up with another objection, Pinkie Pie knocked on the doors before letting herself in, Applejack reluctantly following behind.

The castle’s foyer was uncharacteristic mess, with various open boxes of Hearth’s Warming decorations strewn across the floor. Twilight herself was rushing from box to box with a long scroll held in her aura, while Moonwhisper was cheerfully humming a Hearth’s Warming carol to himself as he levitated streams of garland across the hall’s columns.

“Are you sure we have enough tinsel for the bannisters on the upper floor? It just feels like we’re going to need more than this,” Twilight said as she looked over a box overflowing with coils of silvery tinsel.

“I assure you, Twilight, I was quite thorough when calculating how much tinsel we’d need for the planned application and I confirmed this morning that our supplies meet our requirements allowing for a minimum ten percent margin for error,” Moonwhisper replied. “Barring any major unforeseen issues, we should be able to have the entire castle decorated well ahead of schedule.”

“Alright, well, if you’re sure then – oh, Pinkie, Applejack, what are you doing here?” Twilight asked as she finally noticed her friends’ arrival.

“To be honest, Ah’m startin’ to ask mahself that same question,” Applejack replied, much to Twilight’s confusion. Pinkie, meanwhile, ignored Twilight’s question entirely as she rushed over to Moonwhisper, who was still focused on decorating.

“Hello there,” Pinkie Pie said, trying far too hard to sound casual. “How have you been doing?”

“I’m fine, Miss Pie, just setting things up for Hearth’s Warming. Will you and Applejack be staying for lunch? Spike’s been working on some new recipes and –”

“I NEED TO SHOW YOU THE MAGIC OF HEARTH’S WARMING!” Pinkie suddenly yelled as she grabbed Moonwhisper’s face in her front hooves.

“…What?” Moonwhisper managed to blurt out before Twilight rushed over and pulled Pinkie off of him.

“Pinkie Pie! What in Equestria are you doing?” Twilight demanded as she levitated Pinkie Pie away.

“Pinkie’s somehow gotten it into her head that Moonwhisper here hates Hearth’s Warmin’, and that fer some reason it’s up to her to teach him the meanin’ of the holiday or somethin’,” Applejack explained.

“Pinkie, Moonwhisper doesn’t hate Hearth’s Warming,” Twilight said. “In fact, he’s been helping me get everything set up for Hearth’s Warming since yesterday. Why in Equestria would you think he hates Hearth’s Warming?”

“In fairness, I do fit the stereotype of the villains typically featured in foal’s holiday stories,” Moonwhisper mused, as much to himself as to anypony else, before he noticed the stares he was receiving from Twilight and Applejack. “Some of my former commanders found it amusing to assign me to read to orphans during the holidays, so I’m familiar with how those stories usually go. For what its worth, I do actually rather like Hearth’s Warming overall.”

“See, Pinkie Pie?” Twilight asked as she plopped Pinkie back down. “Moonwhisper doesn’t hate Hearth’s Warming after all. Now, why don’t you and Applejack join us for lunch and—” Before Twilight could finish her sentence, Pinkie Pie darted back towards Moonwhisper. With an uncharacteristically intense expression on her face, Pinkie Pie leaned in close to Moonwhisper until her face was mere inches away from his.

“You may have fooled everypony else, but I’m onto to you, buster,” Pinkie said. “I’m going to fill you up with holiday cheer no matter what.”

“Really, I’m not trying to fool anypony, I really do enjoy the holiday,” Moonwhisper protested as he looked over to Twilight for assistance. “I’m being completely honest; Hearth’s Warming is a representation of the values I’m sworn to protect as a member of the guard. Also, Penumbral Dusk did hate the holiday, so I supposed the argument could be made that I also enjoy Hearth’s Warming out of spite, but still.” As Moonwhisper spoke, he slowly backed away from Pinkie, who continued to advance until Applejack grabbed her by the tail and yanked her back.

“Alright, Ah think this has gone just about far enough,” Applejack said as she began to drag Pinkie Pie away. “Sorry about all this. Ah’d love to stay fer lunch, but Ah think it’d be best if Ah got this one somewhere se can simmer down.” Twilight nodded in agreement as Applejack proceeded to drag Pinkie Pie out the door as the latter protested.

“But I haven’t gotten him to see the magic of Hearth’s Warming yet! We didn’t even get to have a festive and uplifting musical number!”

“Yeah, that’s a real shame there. Now come on,” Applejack grumbled as she dragged the pouting pink pony out the door, leaving Twilight and Moonwhisper to ponder just what exactly had just happened.

“Was that strange by Miss Pie’s standards?” Moonwhisper asked. “I don’t know her nearly as well as you do, and her baseline behavior makes it hard to tell sometimes.”

“No, that was definitely strange even by Pinkie Pie standards,” Twilight replied. “I wonder what brought all this on, anyway?”

“Celestia only knows. The holidays do tend to have an odd effect on ponies, though,” Moonwhisper added with a shrug. “So, what would you say are the odds that Pinkie’s going to let this go and we won’t hear any more about it?”

Twilight thought about it for a moment before letting out a deep sigh. “Probably about the same odds Discord will make a New Years Resolution to not cause any trouble. And then actually keep it.”

The Hearth's Warming Tale Method

“How do you think my ghost costume looks?” Pinkie Pie asked in a hushed whisper as she and Rainbow Dash stood in the bushed outside Twilight’s castle.

“Well, you definitely look spooky enough with the chains and the flour in your coat. But, what’s with all that gunk in your mane? Wait, let me guess, you’re going for that creepy, scraggly-maned ghost filly look like in that weird Neighponese comic Twilight showed us last Nightmare Night,” Rainbow Dash said as she inspected her friend.

“No, although that does sound like it would be a really good idea for next Nightmare Night. Tonight, though, I’m supposed to be the ghost of Professor Flintheart!” Pinkie declared, to which she received a blank stare from Rainbow Dash. “You know, from a Hearth’s Warming Tale? He warned Snowfall Frost that the Spirits of Hearth’s Warming were upset with her spell and were coming to see her?”

“I don’t remember him being a ghost in the story, just the three spirits,” Rainbow Dash replied, to which Pinkie shrugged.

“Eh, he’s not in every version of the story. Anyway, talking to Moonwhisper directly didn’t work like I hoped it would, but I didn’t really expect it to. So now I’m going to use the Hearth’s Warming Tail method to show Moonwhisper how important Hearth’s Warming really is to him.” As Pinkie Pie spoke, she began carefully tying a series of white balloons around her barrel.

“Hold on, you were really serious about the whole ‘saving Hearth’s Warming’ thing? I thought this was all some kind of weird prank you were pulling on Moonwhisper that you needed help pulling off,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Nope, I’m really trying to teach Moonwhisper the true importance of Hearth’s Warming,” Pinkie Pie replied before a sudden look of worry overtook her. “That doesn’t mean you’re not going to help me, does it?”

“Nah, even if you don’t mean it as a prank, this is still pretty funny. Weird, but funny,” Rainbow Dash concluded after a moment’s thought, prompting Pinkie Pie to breathe an audible sigh of relief. “So, what do you need me to do?”

“Well, first of all, I’m going to need some clouds to disguise these balloons so it looks like I’m floating in the air.” The words had scarcely even left Pinkie Pie’s mouth when Rainbow Dash bolted away, only to reappear a moment later with a cloud large enough to conceal the mass of balloons Pinkie had tied herself to. “That’s perfect! Now if I remember correctly, Moonwhisper’s room should be right up there, so all I need to do now is…” Pinkie Pie snapped her tail back and slapped it to the ground, releasing the anvil she had hidden inside to keep herself from floating off before she was ready. Free of her ballast, Pinkie Pie promptly began floating up into the air, until she finally reached her targe4t window. Unfortunately, it quickly became apparent to Pinkie that her plans had hit an unexpected snag. “He’s not in here.”

“What?” Rainbow Dash replied while keeping her voice as low as possible. “How is he not in his room, its three in the morning! Are you sure it’s the right room?”

“Uh huh, I can see Moonwhisper’s armor manakin thing and everything, but nopony’s inside,” Pinkie replied as she scanned the room for any sign of occupancy. “Maybe he’s in some other room doing guard stuff, let me check another window.” Without bothering to wait for Rainbow Dash to answer, Pinkie began twirling her tail like a propeller to maneuver herself around the outside of the castle, peering into windows as she went. “Nope, nopony in here. Or here. Maybe the next one…”

“Uh, Pinkie, you might want to be careful, I’m pretty sure you’re starting to get close to Twilight’s –”

“Oh hey, I think I found him!” Pinkie Pie whispered excitedly. “It sounds like he’s in Twilight’s room. I can’t be sure, though, since Twilight’s got her curtains shut, but it definitely sounds like they’re both in there.”

“They’re both…” Rainbow Dash could feel her face start to flush as her mind cycled through the reasons Moonwhisper would be in Twilight’s bedroom at three in the morning, and landed on one scenario in particular. A responsible pony would have immediately done everything in their power to convince Pinkie to abort her mission before things went any further.

Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash was not an especially responsible pony.

“Pinkie, can you tell what they’re saying?” Rainbow Dash asked, only barely managed to stifle her snickering.

“I’m not sure, it’s kind of muffled with the curtains, but whatever Moonwhisper’s telling Twilight, she must really agree with him because she keeps saying yes.” Pinkie Pie suddenly let out a horrified gasp as she realized what must be happening. “Moonwhisper must be trying to convince Twilight that Hearth’s Warming is no good! And Twilight’s agreeing with him for some reason! There’s no time to waste, I’m going in!” Before Rainbow Dash could collect her thoughts enough to register what Pinkie Pie was saying, the ghostly party pony used her tail to back up before propelling herself forward, straight into Twilight’s window. Rather than crashing through, however, Pinkie Pie wound up bouncing off the glass with a hollow thunk.

“Ooh, that’s right, Twilight warned me she put some sort of strengthening spell on her windows so nopony could come crashing through them,” Rainbow Dash thought as she winced in sympathy for her friend. “That’s probably for the best, though. Let’s just hope Twilight didn’t—” Despite being concealed by the curtains, a few unmistakable rays of light could be seen peeking out from the window to Twilight’s bedroom. “—hear anything.” While Rainbow Dash was too far away to make out any details, she was just able to hear muffled voices coming from inside as the curtains were pulled open, revealing a somewhat disheveled Twilight. As Pinkie Pie peeled herself off the window, it opened and Twilight stuck her head outside wearing an expression that was equal parts annoyance and confusion.

“What in Equestria – Pinkie Pie?” Twilight exclaimed as she saw her friend gently swinging in the air in front of her.

“Umm…I know not who this Pinkie Pie is, I am the ghost of Professor Flintheart, here to warn the one known as Moonwhisper about the terrible fate his failure to embrace the magic of—” Pinkie Pie wasn’t given a chance to finish her monologue, however, as Twilight promptly conjured a gust of wind to blow away Pinkie’s cloud, and Pinkie Pie along with it. “Nooo! I didn’t even get to say anything about the other spirits that are going to come!” Pinkie Pie protested, all four of her legs waggling helplessly in the air as she drifted away from the castle. The sight was so comically pathetic that Rainbow Dash was left doubled over and shaking with mirth as she desperately tried to keep from bursting out into laughter and giving away her position.

“Rainbow Dash! Don’t think that I don’t know that you helped Pinkie Pie with this nonsense!” Twilight called out, pouring a metaphorical bucket of cold water over Rainbow Dash’s amusement. “We are going to have a long talk about this tomorrow!”

Rainbow Dash spent the next few moments contemplating the long, tedious lecture she was likely going to receive once Twilight got ahold of her, before shrugging her shoulders. “Eh, still worth it.”

Social Engineering

“—and then I floated all the way to Sweet Apple Acres. That’s where some of my balloons got caught in one of the apple trees and I wound up stuck there all night until Applejack found me the next morning,” Pinkie Pie said as she trotted alongside Fluttershy. “Thankfully, all Applejack needed to hear was that I was up there because of some super-secret Hearth’s Warming Business and she helped me down. I had been a little worried that she might leave me up there because the spirit of Hearth’s Warming Haterness might have gotten to her, but luckily she’s still on our side.”

“Spirit of…?” a very confused Fluttershy started to ask, having been somewhat preoccupied with working out how she was ever going to look Twilight or Moonwhisper in the eyes again after hearing Pinkie’s story.

“Hearth’s Warming Haterness. You know, the opposite of the Hearth’s Warming Spirit! I was a little worried it might have gotten Applejack after she stopped me from trying to get through to Moonwhisper earlier at the castle, but it looks like she’s alright after all!”

“So, does this mean you’re going to stop trying to force Moonwhisper to be more festive?” Fluttershy asked hopefully.

“Of course not! But, I do have to be sneakier about it now that Moonwhisper’s got his guard up,” Pinkie Pie replied.

“Why would he—actually, never mind, I think I know,” Fluttershy said.

“I know, right? After last night, Moonwhisper definitely knows I’m coming to teach him the joy of Hearth’s Warming, so he’ll be on the lookout for any signs of holiday cheer. If I want to get to him now, I’ll have to catch him while he’s off guard, and the best time to do that is when he’s on guard! It’s the perfect plan, he’ll never see it coming!”

“Uh huh,” Fluttershy replied somewhat listlessly. By this point, it was clear that this was a more severe bout of Pinkieing than usual, and in Fluttershy’s experience the best course of action was to try riding things out while avoiding getting swept up in the craziness herself. If Pinkie Pie noticed Fluttershy’s lack of enthusiasm, however, she didn’t show it.

“No matter how much of a grumpy pants Moonwhisper might be, he still takes his responsibilities really seriously. Responsibilities like going on patrol through town every day,” Pinkie paused for a moment to give Fluttershy an opportunity to marvel at her brilliance before continuing. “So, since Moonwhisper goes through town every day, I’m going to use that to show him how Hearth’s Warming makes everypony happy, and that should help him to start feeling the Hearth’s Warming Spirit! I even called in a favor from Prince Rutherford to have a couple of yaks visit and show off some of their holiday traditions too. That way, Moonwhisper can see how the holiday makes everycreature happy. And nocreature knows more about making things perfect than a yak, so there’s no way my plans can go horribly and unexpectedly wrong again,” Pinkie added happily.

“I didn’t even know yaks celebrated Hearth’s Warming,” Fluttershy said with genuine surprise.

“They don’t,” Pinkie replied. “The yaks celebrate something called Snilldarfest around this time of year. But, if it’s anything like Yickslurbertfest than it’s still going to be great!”

“If you say so,” Fluttershy said as the pair finally reached Ponyville’s Town Square. It would have been something of an understatement to say that Fluttershy may have been a bit dubious of Pinkie Pie’s plans. Even so, Fluttershy was forced to admit that Pinkie had truly outdone herself in terms of turning Ponyville into a showcase of the holiday spirit. The town had been transformed into a veritable Hearth’s Warming wonderland, with lights and decorations everywhere. Even the ponies themselves showed signs of Pinkie’s efforts, with everypony in sight bearing a candy cane, present or some other accoutrement of the holiday. “Wow, Pinkie, you really went all out getting the town decorated.”

“Of course! I can’t convince Moonwhisper to embrace the magic of Hearth’s Warming if I don’t give it one hundred and ten percent! No, one hundred and twenty percent! No, wait…one million percent!”

“Well, I think it looks nice, no matter how many percent you put in,” Fluttershy said quickly.

“Thanks, Fluttershy. Now, all that’s left to do is to show all this to Moonwhisper so he can let the magic of Hearth’s Warming flow through him. Speaking of whom, he should be coming by on his patrol right…about…NOW!” As Pinkie Pie spoke, she fixed her attention on a nearby side street, but Moonwhisper failed to come marching out as expected. “Huh, maybe he got caught up helping somepony out in a way that shows he has a heart of gold underneath his grump exterior. If that’s the case, then he should show up right about…NOW! Or…NOW! How about…NOW!”

“Good morning Miss Fluttershy, Miss Pie.”

“Oh, hi Moonwhisper,” Pinkie replied before turning her attention back to the side street. “Okay, Moonwhisper has got to be almost here by now, so—” Pinkie Pie froze and spun around to see Moonwhisper standing right behind her. “But, wait…when did you…how…what?”

“I adjust the specifics of my route through town on an irregular basis to prevent any potential hostile forces from using it against me,” Moonwhisper said, prompting Pinkie Pie’s eyes to twitch slightly. “In any event, the town certainly looks festive,” Moonwhisper quickly added.

“It does, doesn’t it? And see how happy everypony looks? Isn’t it great how Hearth’s Warming fills everypony with joy and happiness?” Pinkie said, recovering almost instantly from her funk.

“Yes, that is one of the things I’ve always appreciated about the—”

“And it’s not just ponies, either!” Pinkie added as she grabbed Moonwhisper and began pulling him through the streets. “Everycreature loves the holidays around this time of year. We even have some yaks visiting from Yakyakistan to share some of their traditions with us in the town square! Come on!”

“Wait, we have yaks visiting the town?” a suddenly very concerned Moonwhisper asked as Pinkie continued dragging him through the streets.

*********

“Ponies! Yaks here to show you traditional way to celebrate yak holiday Snilldarfest! Snilldarfest best holiday!” An assortment of curious ponies had gathered around the two cheerfully yelling yaks in front of Ponyville Town Hall. The pair had set up a display of an array of the traditional elements of a perfect Snilldarfest, most of which were completely unidentifiable to the assembled townsponies. Even so, the assembled ponies were happy to share the yaks’ good cheer, if for no other reason than for the fact that happy yaks were less inclined to smash things not intended to be smashed. Besides which, even if the precise elements of Snilldarfest were unfamiliar, ponies could still appreciate the holiday spirit behind them. Snilldarfest holiday treats were just as tasty even if you could pronounce what they were called, and several of the local fillies had already learned the words to a traditional yak carol.

“YAK SONG! YAK SONG! NOT VERY LONG, SING AGAIN!”

“Pony fillies sing yak song perfect!” one of the yaks said as the Cutie Mark Crusaders finished their umpteenth rendition of the song.

“Wow, even me?” Scootaloo asked. “Nocreature’s ever called my singing perfect before.”

“Yak song all about emotion, and filly singing fully embrace emotion of song. Now come, it almost time for brother yak to demonstrate most important part of Snilldarfest, smashing of traditional Snilldarfest log!” As the yak spoke, her brother dramatically whipped a cloth off a log that had been placed in the center of their demonstration area. “Hold on, that not look like yak log. Prince Rutherford say we supposed to show pony friends authentic Snilldarfest. How we supposed to show authentic Snilldarfest without authentic yak log?”

“No, Prince Rutherford say we should share Snilldarfest with pony friends, that mean help ponies do pony-style Snilldarfest. And pony-style Snilldarfest mean using pony log,” her brother retorted with an annoyed snort. “How you expect ponies to do Snilldarfest log smash if ponies need to go all way to Yakyakistan for smashing log? This log perfect.” While the two yaks bickered over the suitability of the log in question, Pinkie Pie looked on with nervous trepidation as she tried to gauge Moonwhisper’s reaction to the situation.

“Ah ha ha, you know how yaks are, it’s really important to them that things be perfect,” Pinkie Pie said with a nervous laugh. “And it’s probably extra important that they make all this perfect, since they’re trying to share their special holiday with their friends.”

“Mmhmm,” Moonwhisper replied absentmindedly. Strangely, Moonwhisper’s attention appeared to be completely focused on the log the yaks were arguing over. “Pardon me,” Moonwhisper finally said as he approached the yaks. “But, if you don’t mind my asking, where exactly did you find that log?”

“This? Yak find log in forest near pony town. Yak search for long time to find perfect Snilldarfest smashing log. Most pony wood not perfect, not look like it have right crunch when smashed. Pony want help with Snilldarfest log smash? Yak show pony proper smashing technique.”

“If that log is what I think it is, then I’m afraid we may have more than enough opportunities for smashing,” Moonwhisper said ominously as he started slowly backing away, ears fully alert as he cautiously eyed the streets leading out towards the Everfree Forest.

“Is something the matter?” Fluttershy asked. Scarcely had the words left her mouth when a bone-chilling howl could be heard from the direction of the forest, along with the panicked cries of several townsponies.

“That ‘log’ isn’t just a log. It’s a portion of a partially developed timberwolf. And, from the sounds of it, bringing it into town has attracted the rest of its pack. If you’ll all excuse me, it would appear I have work to do.” Before Pinkie could utter a word of protest, Moonwhisper dashed off in the direction of the Timberwolves howling, with the two yaks rushing off to join him. In moments, Pinkie and Fluttershy found themselves alone in the center of town, the sounds of shouting and smashing wood echoing from the direction Moonwhisper had run off in.

“On the plus side, the town square really does look very nice,” Fluttershy offered.

Intervention

“Alright, so is everypony here?” Twilight asked as her friends filed into the castle library.

“Everypony ‘cept fer Rarity. Last Ah saw, Pinkie was draggin’ her off somewhere to help with her next crazy plan. Somethin’ about findin’ a neglected Hearth Warmin’ tree to decorate,” Applejack said. “With any luck, Rarity will be able to keep Pinkie busy long enough fer us to figure out what to do about her.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem,” Rainbow Dash laughed. “Remember that one Hearth’s Warming where the mayor put Rarity in charge of decorating the tree in the center of town? She was taking so long that she’d have still been working on it by Winter Wrap Up if I hadn’t stepped in.”

“I always did wonder why the tree had been Wonderbolt-themed that one year,” Fluttershy said.

“Girls, can we please focus?” Twilight said. “We need to figure out what we’re going to do about Pinkie Pie. All these plans of hers to ‘save Hearth’s Warming’ are throwing the town into complete chaos. Even more than usual,” Twilight added after a moment.

“Well, normally Ah’d suggest just straight tellin’ Pinkie the truth about the situation, but Ah did that mahself at the start of all this nonsense and it didn’t stop her one bit,” Applejack said. “Once that pony gets an idea stuck in that head of hers there ain’t much y’all can do to get it unstuck.”

“We could try asking Maud to see if she could talk to Pinkie,” Fluttershy suggested. “Maud’s closer to Pinkie Pie than just about anypony, so maybe she could talk some sense into her.” Starlight, however, shook her head at this.

“It’s not a bad suggestion, Fluttershy, but I don’t really think it’d work this time. Not even Maud can get through to Pinkie when she gets really bad. Pinkie was acting similar to this when she was trying to help Maud and I become friends,” Starlight said.

“But, you and Maud are friends, aren’t you?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Yeah, and ask me whether or not that stopped Pinkie Pie from trying to ‘help’ anyway. Sound familiar? If you ask me, what we need is to find some way of convincing Pinkie that one of her plans has actually worked,” Starlight said.

“In other words, if Pinkie won’t stop until she’s made me embrace Hearth’s Warming, then what we need to do is to convince her that that’s what she’s finally accomplished,” Moonwhisper said. “There’s just one problem with that solution; how in Celestia’s name are we supposed to convince Pinkie of that? I’ve flat out told her multiple times to her face that I’m already fond of the holiday, what more does she need?”

“That’s just it,” Starlight replied. “You can’t just ell Pinkie that you love Hearth’s Warming, you need to really convince her! You need to sell her on the idea that you’ve embraced Hearth’s Warming more than anypony since Equestria was founded!”

“That…might be easier said than done,” Moonwhisper said uneasily. “My acting range begins and ends with ‘glaring angrily’, not really the sort of thing that’s going to sell ‘embracing the spirit of the season’. Beyond that, Pinkie Pie is an avowed expert at assessing smiles, so I expect she’ll be particularly good at spotting any subterfuge in this case.”

“Maybe normally, but I’m pretty sure we won’t be dealing with Pinkie Pie at the top of her game,” Rainbow Dash said. “If I know Pinkie, then all these mess ups of hers are probably really getting to her. And when Pinkie Pie gets stressed, she kinda has a habit of losing it in a big way. All we’ll probably have to do to convince her is to wait for her to try her next crazy plan and then you be all ‘Oh, I finally understand how great Hearth’s Warming is. Thank you, Pinkie Pie,’. And she’ll be so relieved it worked that she’ll completely fall for it. Trust me, I’m a master at tricking ponies, getting Pinkie like this is going to be easy mode.”

“First of all, I don’t sound like that. Secondly, I would debate as to whether planting whoopie cushions under every seat in Town Hall qualifies as tricking anypony, but I will defer to your judgement in this case regardless,” Moonwhisper said.

“Hey, you can’t prove that was me! Besides, getting those things under every single chair in the place was really hard, so it should still count for something. What, why are you guys all looking at me like that?”

“All that aside, I think Rainbow Dash does have a good point,” Starlight said. “Pinkie is probably going to be so relieved that one of her plans actually worked that she won’t notice Moonwhisper’s terrible acting. Uh, no offense.”

“None taken,” Moonwhisper replied with a shrug.

“Great, it sounds like we have a plan then,” Twilight said. “Now we just need to figure out what Pinkie’s next plan is going to be so we can be ready for it. I just hope things don’t get too out of control in the meantime.”

“Oh, come on, Twilight, you worry too much,” Starlight said. “I mean, this is Pinkie Pie we’re talking about. How bad could any of her plans really go?” Starlight’s question was met by an ominously dead silence from the rest of the room. “Okay, on second thought, we should probably get this figured out as quick as possible.”

*********

“I’m sorry, darling, I could have sword there’d be at least one Hearth’s Warming tree left unclaimed,” Rarity said in an effort to cheer up Pinkie Pie as her latest plan fell apart before it even got started.

“It’s alright, Rarity. If there really aren’t any Hearth’s Warming trees left anywhere in Ponyville, even scraggly little neglected ones, then that means that the holiday spirit must be doing pretty good here. I’ll just need to think of some other way I can get Moonwhisper to embrace the holiday.”

“Well, alright then. If you do need any more assistance with your, er, Hearth’s Warming crusade, then do let me know,” Rarity said.

“Okie dokie loki, once I have a new plan ready then you’ll be the first to know!” Pinkie Pie replied. The obvious panic behind Rarity’s eyes as Pinkie Pie made her offer completely escaped Pinkie’s notice, as her mind was already preoccupied with a fare more pressing matter. Specifically, what exactly was left that she could try to do to convince Moonwhisper to embrace Hearth’s Warming. “I feel like I’ve tried just about everything I can think of, but it all keeps going wrong for some reason. Maybe I should give up for now. I mean, the holiday spirit is doing pretty well in the rest of Ponyville, maybe Moonwhisper’s happy just being a grumpy Gus by himself.”

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing!” Pinkie Pie looked up to see Discord lounging upside down on the bottom of a nearby awning, causally snaking on a candy cane. Apparently satisfied that he had gotten Pinkie Pie’s attention, Discord slurped up the white portion of the candy cane like a noodle, leaving only the red stripe behind. Discord proceeded to form the strike into a circle before snapping it through the air like a rubber band, after which he looked back down at Pinkie Pie with a disapproving frown. “I’d have never imagined one of Twilight’s friends would just give up when things started to look difficult. I mean, really, where was that lack of commitment when you were trying to thwart me back in my evil days?”

“I’m not giving up! Well, I’m not totally giving up. I’m just not really one hundred percent sure I really need to do this anymore,” Pinkie Pie said, sounding wholly unsure of herself.

“Not sure! You’re not sure you need to keep fighting to save Hearth’s Warming? Think for a moment, what would Twilight do in your situation? Did Twilight let not being sure stop her from confronting Chrysalis when she was disguised as Princess Cadance? Did Twilight let not being sure stop her from enchanting her doll so she’d have a friendship problem to solve and write Celestia about? Did Twilight let not being sure stop her from trying to get you all to drink some potion she got from her Zebra friend?”

“I don’t know if those are all really good examples of—”

“The point is, that when Twilight thinks that doing something is the right thing to do, she doesn’t let anything stop her from doing it. Even if ponies tell her it’s crazy, or unnecessary, or that it’s a terrible idea, Twilight will persevere and do what she has to do! And shouldn’t we all try and be more like Twilight? She is the ‘Princes of Friendship’ after all.” Discord declared as vaguely patriotic music started to play in the background.

“You know what? You’re right!” Pinkie Pie shouted with renewed vigor. “I know that Hearth’s Warming Eve needs me, even if nopony else believes me, and I’m not going to let anything stop me from saving it!”

“That’s the spirit!” Discord laughed, clapping his claws together with glee. “And I’m going to be with you one hundred percent of the way!”

“Really? You’re really going to help me save Hearth’s Warming?”

“Of course! They can tell us we can’t do it, they can tell us we shouldn’t do it, they can beg us not to do it, but we’re going to save Hearth’s Warming anyway!” Most ponies would have been at least suspicious at having the Lord of Chaos appear out of the blue to offer his help in pursuing their goals. Quite a few would have taken it as a sign they needed to step back and rethink what they were doing with their lives. Pinkie Pie, however, was not most ponies. At that moment, all that mattered was her mission, and the fact that she now had the power of Discord backing her up. Nothing could stop her from saving Hearth’s Warming now.

The Discord Approach

“In retrospect, I really wish we could have waited until after we had an idea about what Pinkie Pie’s planning next,” Moonwhisper grumbled to himself as he trudged through the snowy streets of Ponyville. After Rarity had returned with the news that Pinkie’s latest plan had failed before it had even begun, Moonwhisper had briefly hoped that the entire barrage of nonsense would finally be over. The general consensus among Twilight and her friends, though, had been that it was staggeringly unlikely that such a minor setback would do anything but spur Pinkie Pie on further.

Under different circumstances, Moonwhisper would have found such dedication to be admirable.

As it was, however, Moonwhisper was now charged with patrolling Ponyville’s streets in the vain hope that he could bait out Pinkie and convince her that whatever she tried next had actually succeeded. “Of course, convincing Pinkie of anything would be much easier if I had any remote idea where she was!” Moonwhisper snarled. After a few moments of silence confirmed to him that his brief outburst had gone unnoticed, Moonwhisper resumed his lonely patrol through the town. “This whole situation is patently absure, even the standards of Miss Pie’s usual behavior. Why wouldn’t I like Hearth’s Warming? It’s a genuinely enjoyable celebration of everything the guard is sworn to protect, it keeps Equestria safe from windigos and it makes Penumbral Dusk miserable.”

“Hmmm, why wouldn’t you like Hearth’s Warming indeed?” Moonwhisper looked up to see Pinkie Pie reclining on a nearby store awning as she looked down at him with a sly grin.

“Hello…Miss Pie,” Moonwhisper replied, repressing the urge to once again insist that he did not, in fact, dislike the holiday as he reminded himself that Pinkie needed to think that she had solved the problem herself. “What brings you out this late?

“Oh, I was just talking with a friend of mine about how e can get you to stop being such a grumpy Gus.”

“A friend…?” Moonwhisper asked as a leaden feeling formed in his stomach. His worst fears were quickly confirmed as a pair of claws hoisted him up into the air. “Of course. You would involve yourself in something like this.”

“You mean helping Twilight’s dear paramour overcome his distaste for Hearth’s Warming?” Discord replied with false innocence. “How could I possibly stand by and do nothing while my good friend Pinkie Pie was working herself to exhaustion trying to help you see the light. But, don’t worry. Once we’re don here everything will finally be as it should be. Are you ready to be show the magic of Hearth’s Warming?”

“I don’t actually have a choice in the matter, do I?”

“Of course not!” Discord laughed as he tucked Moonwhisper under one arm to free up his paw. “Let’s go!” With that, Discord snapped his claws, causing Moonwhisper, Pinkie Pie, and himself to all vanish in a flash of light. The trio reappeared moments later floating high in the sky above what, for Pinkie Pie at least, was a very familiar rock farm.

“Hey, what are we doing at my family’s rock farm?” Pinkie asked as she looked down at the festively decorated farm.

“Well, we’re showing Moonwhisper scenes of ponies embracing the true joy of the holiday, aren’t we? And what better example of that than your family?” Discord replied. “Also, I didn’t have much time to go searching for better examples.”

“Oh, I guess that makes sense. Ooh! Are they going to be able to see us, or are we more like ghosts from a Hearth’s Warming Tale? Can I be the Spirit of Hearth’s Warming Presents? Twilight always does her me voice when she reads that part of the story, which is really neat because that spirit was always my favorite character when I was a little filly, but –” Pinkie found herself abruptly cut off as Discord pinched her lips together with his free claw.

“That’s all very interesting and I’m glad you’re happy, but we do have important business to take care of, remember?”

“I guess you’re right. Still, it’ll be really fun to show Moonwhisper all my family’s holiday traditions,” Pinkie Pie said as the trio silently descended towards the farmhouse. Inside, they found the Pie family, less Pinkie and Maud, sitting at the dinner table quietly eating a meal of rock soup. “Aw, look at everypony having dinner together. That’s what the holidays are really about, being together with family.”

“Well, I do consider Twilight and Spike to be family at this point, so I suppose that aspect of it does hold a certain appeal nowadays…” Moonwhisper mused to himself.

“Oh, what’s the matter? No family holiday traditions from your foalhood?” Discord teased as a suddenly alarmed Pinkie Pie frantically waved her hooves in the air while shaking her head.

“Ah yes, holiday traditions at Castle Umbra, I suppose we did have a few. There was putting up fresh ‘No Trespassing’ signs on the front gates. And Penumbral Dusk’s annual effort to force the local village to ban caroling. Let’s see, what else…”

“Ugh, of course, your over-the-top traumatic past. How could I have forgotten?” Discord grumbled before looking down at Pinkie’s assembled family. “Still, things did get betting for you, eventually. And in part because of what you can seen down there; a family together for the holidays. Well, mostly together, anyway. Isn’t that the sort of thing you keep fighting for?”

“I suppose,” Moonwhisper replied noncommittally as the trio watched over the quiet dinner for another minute or so.

“You know, I really thought this would be a bit livelier,” Discord finally snorted.

“Are you kidding? I haven’t seen my family this cheerful since Applejack and her family visited. After we finished pushing Holder’s Boulder up from the quarry, I mean. But, it does kind of feel like something’s missing here,” Pinkie Pie said as she peered closer at her family. “Wait, I see what it is now. Mom left out a couple of empty plates where Maud and I usually sit. I wonder why she’d do something like that?”

“Yes, well, that’s all very interesting, but maybe we should try a scene where there’s a bit more going on. Or, anything going on,” Discord said impatiently before snapping his claws once again. In an instant, the world around the trio began to rapidly spin into a blur of color, until it came to an abrupt stop and they found themselves floating outside a familiar bakery.

“Ooh, Sugar Cube Corner! This is perfect! Seeing the Cakes all happy together celebrating Hearth’s Warming is sure to bring out the holiday spirit in anypony, no matter how grouchy they are.”

“I’m not that – alright, I will admit that I can be somewhat grouchy, but not to the extent that I need a Hearth’s Warming holiday tour throughout Equestria,” Moonwhisper grumbled. Moonwhisper’s complaints, however, accomplished little beyond prompting Discord to shove a candy cane in his mouth to silence him as the trio floated into the bakery’s kitchen, where the Cake family was sitting down to dinner.

“Aw, now how could you not like that,” Pinkie Pie said. “See how happy being together on Hearth’s Warming has made everypony?”

“Well, mostly together at any rate,” Discord said, prompting a quizzical look from Moonwhisper. Before he could ask Discord what that was supposed to mean, there was a slight commotion down below as Pound and Pumpkin Cake started to fuss.

“Oh, what’s the matter, gingersnaps?” Mrs. Cake asked she tried calming the two foals. Unsurprisingly, neither toddler provided an intelligible answer, but Pumpkin proved a clue as she stretched out her hooves towards a pink-frosted cupcake.

“Pinkah,” Pumpkin plaintively gurgled as she reached for the treat.

“That’s right, Pumpkin. That color is ‘pink’,” Carrot Cake said encouragingly, trying to distract his daughter from ruining her appetite with an impromptu lesson in colors.

“Actually, dear, I think Pumpkin might be missing Pinkie Pie,” Cupcake said as she watched her daughter closely.

“The frosting on that cupcake does kind of look like Pinkie’s mane if look at it from the right angle, and it does feel like it’s been a while shing Pinkie’s been around the store. What exactly has she been up to, lately?”

“Oh, it’s some friendship something or other, you know how those things are,” Cupcake replied. “I can never follow exactly what Pinkie and her friends do, but it’s always for the good of everypony, its best to just give her the space she needs, even if we miss her sometimes.”

“It really is selfless, what you’re doing,” Discord said as they listened to the Cakes’ conversation. “You could have been spending time celebrating the holidays with all your friends and family, but instead you’re here with us, working to save the holiday for everypony else.” As Discord spoke he snapped his claws, summoning dozens of windows showing various scenes of Pinkie’s loved ones all enjoying the holidays without her. While Pinkie took all this in, Moonwhisper finally saw his chance.

“I see it now! Oh, what a fool I have been, but now I see the true beauty of the Hearth’s Warming holiday!” Moonwhisper cried, out, throwing a hoof to his forehead in a display that even Rarity would have criticized as overdramatic. Thankfully, Pinkie was far too distracted by the images Discord had conjured to question this sudden victory.

“You do? That’s great! Well, I’ll let you go and enjoy the holiday and stuff then. Um, Discord? Could you maybe…”

“Leaving so soon. Well, if you insist. Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of the rest of our business here.” With a snap of Discord’s claws, Pinkie Pie vanished and Moonwhisper and Discord teleported to a spot high above Ponyville.

“I suppose I should thank you for your assistance,” Moonwhisper said after a few moments passed. “Showing Pinkie Pie what she was missing by focusing on her ridiculous holiday rescue efforts might have been the only way to get through to her.”

“Well, if you want to thank me, why don’t you join me for a little Hearth’s Warming caroling? I think Trotsylvania is particularly lovely this time of year.” Moonwhisper started at Discord’s suggestion, until the implications of bringing the Spirit of Chaos to Trotsylvania slowly started to sink in.

“I don’t suppose you’d be able to bring a full group of yourselves along?” Moonwhisper asked, an evil grin slowly spreading across his features. “If we’re going to be visiting Penumbral Dusk, I’ll want to make sure he receives the full Hearth’s Warming experience.”

“But of course,” the half-dozen or so Discords now standing in front of Moonwhisper answered. “And I hope you don’t mind, but we’re going to absolutely insist on starting things off with the ‘Twelve Days of Hearth’s Warming’. Every. Last. Verse.”

Moonwhisper let out a malevolent chuckle. “Now that sounds like an excellent way to celebrate the holiday.”

*********