Falling Flat

by willstob

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 1151

Two cellists move to Ponyville having earned enough to retire. They aren't the only musicians there

Two musicians hate the spotlight that their profession brings. After some debate, they decide on what the best course of action would be. Their plan is perfect, move to the boonies, nobody even knows what a cello is out here, right?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-30 18:40:56 UTC

Prologue: Pills with Cheese

Pills with Cheese

"Don't be a baby, I promise I won't miss."

"If you nail me in the eye..."

"I just said don't be a baby. You are most certainly being a baby right now."

"Fine, if you are so against letting me go to sleep, just do it."

The stallion opened his mouth a few inches. With a quick flick, the other stallion sitting across from him shot a small blue-green pill into his mouth. The first stallion closed his mouth and swallowed, hardly paying attention to the pill as he laid his head against the train window, hoping to get some sleep.

"Okay, now do me." Demanded the stallion across from him.

He threw a red pill in his hoof without opening his eyes, striking the other stallion in the forehead. Regardless, the other stallion managed to catch the pill before it hit the ground, he popped it into his mouth, shuddering slightly before getting it down.

"These ones are swallow, not chew." Spoke the "sleeping" stallion.

"I'll remember one of these times."

"Maybe when we switch back to chewable." He responded.

"Why can't we just take liquids?"

"Because you might accidentally try to snort it."

They let a few small laughs escape, those pills were truly awful to mix-up. The stallion with his head on the window had a short, straight mane of brown. His cutie-mark was a cello bow with a large number of the strings broken and sticking out to the sides. The stallion across from him had a mane the color of straw which lazily swayed from side to side, it was rarely groomed with the exception of nights before shows. His cutie-mark was an instrument that seemed to be half cello half violin, the parts and their sizes switched-around like pieces of a puzzle.

The two both had white coats, a trait inherited from their father. It was one of the few physical similarities between the brothers. They didn't really stand-out in crowds, each could easily be described as average at a glance.

They were just fine with that.

"I'll let you get some HUGGHHH-" The blond brother had gone out like a light, a side-effect he experienced from the pill. He slumped onto his train seat, snoring like a congested diamond dog.

The brown-maned brother got out of his seat and left into the train aisle, closing the door behind him to avoid the ire of the other passengers. He continued through each of the many cars, staying quiet to avoid waking any sleeping passengers he may be passing.

He finally reached the last car, opening into the night sky. Instead of admiring the view, he plopped onto the ground and began performing push-ups. "One, two, three, four-" He counted to himself as he continued to vent the strong rush those pills gave him. He really wished he could go to sleep but he knew that these rushes could last for the entire night if he didn't start venting immediately.

Octavia was seated in the middle-class compartment of the train, glad that she got an entire box to herself. She had been well on her way to falling asleep when she was awoken by what sounded like a bear clearing it's throat into a megaphone. She looked for the source of the noise and discovered a small crack in the wall separating her box from the one next door. The sound was most definitely coming from that box.

While she knew it was rude, she knew that she couldn't get to sleep without doing something about that abominable snoring. She remembered that she had some of those weird nose-sprays in her bag from Canterlot, a gift intended for someone else but she could re-seal the box if she was careful. She took a bottle out, pausing with it in her hoof. Thinking better of it, she decided to take three.

As she walked into the hall, a stallion walked by her room and into the next car, uttering a hardly audible "Excuse me." before he briskly walked through the door and out of sight. He looked... twitchy.

"Eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one..." This was extremely boring, he found no enjoyment in exercise, at heart he was a reader. A good book, that was what he wanted right now... That was it! "To the red country and part of the gray country of Ocoltholma, the last rains came gently, and they did not cut the scarred earth."

He continued to recite as he worked-off his energy.

"That should do it." Octavia said under her breath as she finished emptying the third bottle. The stallion was still snoring very loudly, but at least it wasn't as bad now.  She walked back to her box, ready to get some real sleep.

In the hallway, she passed the same stallion. He was covered in sweat, but didn't seem to be twitching as much now. He went by her without a word and straight into the room she had just left.

The brother briskly walked over to his sleeping kin and, without a word, placed both of his hooves on his snout and did a twist and pull, resulting in a loud pop. Immediately, the snoring stopped dead. He wished he had remembered to do that earlier, it was just so hard to think clearly after taking those pills, it was like having four brains at once, each telling you different things.

He shot his hooves back, his brother's nose was soaked with something. He thought it was snot but realized that it is very difficult to get snot on top of your snout. He decided to just ditch the investigation, he was fine, so why worry?

He tried laying down and getting to sleep... for around eight seconds. It was no good, he was still way too amped for sleep. "Sod it." He said to himself as he got up again. He left the box again and decided to head to the dining car, maybe he could try giving himself the itis.

"Wasn't sleeping ma'am!" Announced the blond brother as he shot out of his seat.

"Shut up." Groaned his brother, seated across from him and sporting a noticeable lump in his stomach,

"Dude, you smell like cheese."

"I know."

"Want to go get breakfast?"

He just stayed in his seat with a hoof on his stomach, daring him to ask that again.

"Comprende señor." He quickly got out of the box and headed towards the dining car.

"Attention passengers, we will be arriving at the station in ten minutes, all amenities will be closing-down for the remainder of the trip."

Back into the box he went, mildly dejected.

"Heh...heh...heh." Laughed the bloated brother.

"Shut up. I don't want to be you when you have to pass all that cheese."

"You are disgusting."

"And you smell like cheddar."