Baconetta: A Crispy Tale

by Baconetta

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure
Length: 3836

Baconetta has been frozen. Can she and her new companion fight the forces of evil?

Baconetta has been trapped in a cryogenics tube for years. Until a lost, friendly gentlecolt by the name of Sir E'quine discovers and defrosts her. She tells him her story, leading from one thing to another.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2011-12-25 11:28:19 UTC

Not really a chapter, this is the whole story...

EDITOR'S NOTE: Baconetta is a mascot for the Melb/Vic Bronies FB group.

The chilling air pierced through the stallion's fleece skin jacket as he walked aimlessly up, down and around the mountain. He needed to find shelter, and quickly, as a blizzard seemed to be coming his way.

He looked around, all he could see was a small cave about 30ft up the mountain, it would have to do, as the blizzard was starting.

He frantically climbed into the small hole, much better, he thought. He grabbed out his last match out of his small back-pack, and struck it against a jagged rock.

It lit up immediately, as the stallion went to place the match in a safe spot, his eyes caught site of a remarkable, yet shocking site: A mare, who was possibly just a bit younger than he was, frozen solid in a weird looking tube object with 1 single, small door.

The pony inside was a grey slightly moving into green colour, and her mane was a pinky colour...... flesh, that's what it reminded him of... the mane had whitish grey streaks through it. She was obviously a very pretty mare. Her cutie-mark was like her mane, but a strip, and with 2 yellow sparkles around it.

He went up to open the door, and as soon as he touched it, fog shot out as the door slowly and stiffly crept open. He saw the ponies hoof twitch, then, she blinked, confused, she then fell out of the tube, unconscious and face first.

'Hello, miss, are you alright?' the stallion said to the unconscious mare... nothing, he thought. He trotted outside and collected a heap of snow, the match had now gone out, so he was moving blind.

He walked to where he thought the mare was, and hit his hoof on a sharp, jagged point sticking put from the wall. "Arrgh, by Celestia that hurt!" He shouted.

His leg was bleeding, luckily not too bad. He kept walking in the dark room. and eventually found the mare.  "Here goes." The stallion said, he then dumped the pile of snow on her face.

He heard the mare cough, then suddenly, she jumped and knocked him over, she was light-headed and kept stumbling, "Hey! You s-stop your bad-ba-badness now, you evil monstuurrgh..."

The mare said as she fell over again. The stallion got up, rubbing his injured head, "Oh, your awake, glad to know! I'm Sir E'quine, glad to know you're alright." The stallion gracefully said.

"Hey, Mister Ewine, or whatever, I'm Baconetta. -hiccup- I-I've gotta go, right  now!!

"Oh, but you can't go out there, you're ill and there's a blizzard!" The stallion said in a worried tone. "Now, how about we sit down, somewhere, I can't see a thing, and how about you tell me how you got up here and in that tube? Okay?"

"UGH! NO! I told you I'm on a mission!" Baconetta pleaded. "I've gotta go catch her!"  Baconetta pleaded .

"NO!" Sir E'quine said. "It's too dangerous. Sit, and talk. That's what we're doing." Sir E'quine said sternly. Baconetta looked at the cave wall grumpily. "Fine." She said.

As the blizzard still raged on, the two ponies talked about how they got trapped in the mountain. "I was face to face with the mountain lion, she chased me for about 2 hours through the snow.... Ah... she was such a nice lady...."

Baconetta snorted.

"And that's when the blizzard was about to begin, so I climbed up to this cave and... found you... So how did you get here?" Sir E'quine asked.

"Well, there's a long story to this, so I don't think you'll be that interested, and it involves a little violence..." Beconetta said. Sir E'quine nodded slowly, thoughtfully, then he finally said after being lost in thought.

"No, do  go on, it seems we'll be trapped in here for a long while.. Oh, and I hope you know how to get back to Manehatten? I'm completely lost." Sir E'quine chuckled.

"Oh, yeah, I think so... Wait! Did you say Manehatten?!" Baconetta asked excitedly.

"Indeed, that's where I live, and my family is there, so I guess that's where I'm going!" Sir E'quine joked.

"MY family live there! Oooh, I haven't seen them in years, not since...... since the... uh..... event..." Baconetta slowly said as a frown slowly crept over her face. Sir E'quine looked at her, confused, as the mare started quietly sobbing.

"Um, Miss Baconetta, what did happen to you?" Sir E'quine asked.

"Oh, -sniff- sorry about that I was just... -sniff- uh, reminiscing..." Baconetta sadly said. "Oh, you wanted my story, well take a seat... somewhere, it's a long one..."

The small filly walked through the streets of Manehatten, she wondered where her big sister was. "She said she was just going to Appleoosa...." The pony sadly mumbled with here head down.

Then the whole ground started to rumble, the small filly looked up, as she saw a group of large ponies charging into the town, lead by the one and only, Beefonette.

The evil Beefonette ran up beside the small pony. "Beefonette." The filly said angrily, as she knew this was the last pony who was with Baconetta.

"Ah, if it isn't little Hamity... How's your sister?! Hahahahahahahahaha!" The large mare mockingly said.

"I'm not afraid of you, why, if you hadn't taken Baconetta, she would be here right now, beating you up..." The small filly said. Beefonette stared blankly for a while, and then she began to burst with laughter.

"Hahahaha, you honestly think your dumb sister could save you?!" Beefonette continued to laugh.

"I don't think so," Hamity began, "I know so." At that final sentence Beefonette's smile quickly turned to a snarl. Beefonette grabbed Hamity by her long, golden mane and pinned her against a wall.

"Listen here you little freak! Baconetta's gone, lost. FOREVER!! And she can't beat me! I have the strength of 16 griffons!" Beefonette boasted.

"Ha. strength?! I think you mean temper!" Hamity mocked. Hamity could see the anger building up in Beefonette's eyes.

"THAT'S IT!!" Beefonette shouted as she raised her hoof in the, she was about to swing when one of her hench-ponies grabbed it.

"Miss Beefonette?" He asked, almost afraid.

"WHAT?! THIS BETTER BE IMPORTANT!!" She shouted. "I'M VERY BUSY!!!"  The guard looked at her for a bit, too nervous to ask, then he finally plucked up the courage to talk.

"It's Baconetta, we got a report from our mountain lion guarding the cave, she said she heard 2 people talking, a stallion and a mare, by the sounds of things, they were talking in the cave. She reported this to us immediately, and she was wondering what she should do. So....?"

By the time he had finished,  Beefonette had dropped Hamity and was quickly galloping away. "Sorry, kid..." The hench-pony said. Hamity nodded slowly as the hench-pony whistled to get the others. In about 5 seconds, the entire gang was running out of the town after their leader.

"This is how it started," Baconetta began, "When I was very little, only about 2 months old, our family went on a holiday. Except all didn't go to plan..." Sir E'quine nodded, and listened, intrigued. "Pancetta, our mother, was driving our carriage, see, she was really tough."

"Hahahahahah..." Sir E'quine chucled.

" Except on the way, she took a wrong turn, and we drove into a dark, dense forest. After a while, we were about to turn back until our father noticed some light up ahead, so we drove ahead, and when we got out of the forest, the first thing we saw was a group of griffons blocking our path, one from the sky noticed and flew down to examine.

Sir E'quine gasped.

He landed by our car and asked us questions. 'Where you from?' and 'What is your occupation here in Panquilia?! This is FORBIDDEN territory to ponies like you!!' Our mum answered all of the questions honestly without losing her calm... ahhh... she was such a peaceful pony..." Baconetta drifted away for a bit

"Uh, Miss Baconetta.. Miss? -clears throat-" Baconetta suddenly jerked her head towards him.

"What?" She asked. "Oh, right. So they made us go visit their leader to see if we can stay for a while. As soon as he saw us, he looked uncertain, but after my mother and father persuaded him a bit, he finally allowed us to stay in a dinky little room, it wasn't much, but it was enough.

"Well, I'd imagine so, considering it was in a griffon dominated land." Sir E'quine said.

"Then that night, at dinner, a chef flew into our house with a platter of vegetables and... meat... Our parents didn't touch the meat, they didn't even look at it, every time I went for the meat, they stopped me."

"Well, I can see why..." Sir E'quine shuddered.

"Then later that night, we could hear screaming, and explosions. My parents ran out to see, and it was a riot, the police were fighting average griffons, I peeked out the door, and they were slashing, pecking and kicking...

"Pfft... Griffons..." Sir E'quine sighed.

"I could see my parents standing not far from the door... I looked a bit to the left and saw.... saw... a.. griffon had its claw raised high on a police griffon... the griffon slashed.. and.. and.. the cop's neck... blood... everywhere..."

Sir E'quine was looking at Baconetta with a shocked face. "I went back inside, and on the table I saw the meat, I took advantage grabbed it and ate it.. And it was, was, heavenly... I continued to munch down on it, and by the time I finished, the riot was contained... then my parents came back inside and saw me with the meat, and the look on their faces........"

Sir E'quine stared, mouth open wide, then he thought for a second. "Hang on a moment, how do you remember this? You were only 2 months old, weren't you?" Baconetta looked up at him.

"Well, all could I remember was the... killing... and the bacon. My mother told me what happened a couple years back, so it might not be entirely true, so.... But she never lies, ever." Sir E'quine nodded.

"Do go on." He said. Baconetta nodded her head. Then waited. "Go on!" Sir E'quine said excitedly.

"Um, well.. You see.. I'm not conformable with this part.. it's sad... really, really sad..." Baconetta said in a depressed tone. "Well anyway," She began, "We had to leave the day after the riot, and on our way to the carriage a griffon jumped out of a bush, he was holding a jagged, rusty knife." Sir E'quine gasped. "He said to our father to give us all our money or he'll kill..."

Sir E'quine was shivering by this point. "Our father got out his wallet and gave it to the griffon... Then he went to my mother and stroked he mane, she was shuddering... then he.... k-k-kissed her... Our father said to leave her alone, but kept stroking 'Stop. NOW!' Our father was saying then the griffon slapped her flank..."

"Grrr... Ruffians..." Sir E'quine growled.

My father attacked him, well at least tried to...... When he got close... the griffon... slashed his...... throat... he fell to the ground, my mother screamed... She picked me up... put me on her back and we.... ran...."

Baconetta started shaking, then she broke down in tears. She sobbed for a while.

After sobbing, she finally spoke again. "I'm sorry, Sir E'quine... I should just forget that bit and so should you..." Sir E'quine was patting Baconetta's back. "Shall I go on?" Baconetta asked. Sir E'quine thought if she could.

"Well, okay, but only if you can. And I mean that, if it hurts too much, then don't go on. Okay?" Baconetta sniffed. "Okay," she said, "When we finally made our way through the forest, we came to a desert. We walked for hours until mum spotted some train lines.

"You don't mean...?" Sir E'quine questioned as he leaned in more."

"Yes, that. She ran up and inspected them. She examined for a while, then she began talking. 'Hang on... are those..? THEY ARE!!!!' I looked down and saw hoof marks on the track. Our mum followed them. After a while, we saw a town. 'YES!!!' My mum kept shouting."

"Oooooooh!" Sir E'quine said excitedly.

" We finally reached it to the town, we were really exhausted and thirsty. Our mum galloped up to a water tap and we both began sipping it. Then we moved on to a house. Mum knocked on the door and a colt answered it. He asked what we were doing and my mum asked for the master of the house."

Ahhh, those were the days..." sir E'quine said, lost in thought.

Baconetta laughed. "The colt called out and an old stallion. 'Hello, Doc.' Our mum said. The old stallion adjusted his glasses, then, when he saw her he gasped excitedly and hugged her tightly. 'Pancetta, mah girl, how are ya'll?!'

Sir E'quined leaned in a bit more.

"He spoke in a nice, western accent. 'Good, Doc, you?' Our mum seemed so fine after what happened.... I don't even know why... I think they had problems though.... Anyway.. 'Fine! Fine! An' who's this lil' gal?! Wait a sec, is it? It IS!! How are you little gal? Have you got her a name yet?' He asked."

"Un-named for THAT long..." Sir E'quine gasped.

"That long, indeed.... Our mother thought. 'No, not yet,,' Then she looked down at me I was smiling, but she just gave a slight frown back... Then suddenly, I said my first word."

Sir E'quine moved in more.

Baconetta smiled into the darkness. "'Bacon.'" I said. At that word something made a loud noise in the darkness.

"WHO'S THERE?!" Sir E'quine asked loudly. There was silence, then suddenly, a voice that Baconetta recognized.

"Hello, dearies." The voice was that, of Beefonette's.

Hamity ran back to her house. When she got in, she began screaming at the top of her voice. "MUM! MUM! MUM! MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!" She heard hoof steps coming from up the stairs. She ran up to meat her mum.

"What is it honey?!" The mother asked worriedly. "Is somepony hurt?! Are you hurt?! What happened to your mane?!" Pancetta kept asking questions, Hamity kept trying to stop her, but Pancetta kept talking. Hamity gulped in a lot of air.

"QUUUUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!" She shouted. Her mother immediately shut her mouth. "It's Baconetta, I heard Beefonette talking, I know where she is!!" Pancetta looked at her daughter sadly.

"But mum, she's in a cave on the mountain gaurded by a mountain lion, and she's trapped with a stallion!! Can we go look?! Pleeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssssssssssse?!" Pancetta sighed.

"Honey, search crews searched all around the mountain, they search everywhere all the way to Ponyville. She's not in a cave guarded by a mountain lion. And she doesn't have a stallion with her. Honey... She's gone..."

At this, tears started to swell up in Hamity's eyes, she started sobbing, and then she ran up to her room, crying loudly. Pancetta sighed. "That girls imagination..."

"-sniff- If she doesn't believe me and won't come. -sniff- I'll go myself!!" Hamity began packing her small back-pack, she packed food, clothing and a small knife, if worst comes to worst. She put on a jacket and warm socks and boots.

"Here we go!" She said as she was beginning to jump out the widow. She looked down and saw a small mattress that had been discarded on the side off the road.

She gulped, then jumped... She landed on the mattress and bounced off, she got off from the ground, brushed herself down, and trotted towards the mountain ranges.

"Well, well, well..." Beefonette said. "Look at what we have here.... It's..... sad." Baconetta said, mockingly. Then, Sir E'quine slammed his hoof. "Oh, you wanna play that way..." Beefonette slammed her hoof as well, and when she did, the cave lit up. The cave was lit up by Beefonette's horn. Five hench-ponies on each side flanked Beefonette.

"You bitch....." Baconetta said. Sir E'quine was confused, who was this mysterious mare?

"Hang on a moment?! Who are you? Baconetta, how do you know her? Who? What? Where? When?!" He asked.

"Hahahahaha. I'm Beefonette. Nice to meet you, have Baconetta told you about me? Have you?" She said.

"So you're Beefonette, she's mentioned you, but who are you, what's your connection and what's happening?" Baconetta glared at Beefonette. Beefonette chuckled, and her hench-ponies snarled.

"Well Sir E'quine," Baconetta began, "if you must know. A couple years after the incident at Panquilia, I decided to go back there to seek revenge, and on the way, I met her..." Beefonette smirked. "So, we went there together and we began talking. I told her my story about how I had meat, and she told me how she had beef. A type of meat."

"From cows." Beefonette said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Anyway...we went through the forest and found Panquilia. As soon as we entered the guards recognized us. I think griffons have good memory. Anyway. I asked them about the.... murderer.... and they said the executed him about 2 days after the killing. So I went to look around while Beefonette did her own stuff somewhere."

"Heheheheheheh... Beef hunting..." Beefonette said.

"And when I was walking, I could smell that same heavenly aroma, the smell, of bacon. I started to run towards the smell. I finally found it, a chef cooking it. I went in the building and asked for a bit, the chef laughed... 'A pony eating bacon?! HAhahahahahaahahaha, get out and stop fooling yourself' he said."

Beefonette laughed. "ANYWAY. I walked out side, sad... no bacon. I looked in the window, then he came over with a pie, I hid in a bush quickly. When he put the pie down, I could smell.... BACON!!!!"

"JOLLY GOOD! Oh, wait...." Sir E'quine said, slowly forming a smile.

"Bacon in a pie, so I walked over, and took the pie behind the bush. I ripped out the bits of bacon and left every thing else, I took a bite of the bacon... it was more delicious than the first time. When I swallowed, I felt my rump tingle, I looked down, and saw... my cutie-mark!

Then Beefonette saw me. She ran over and said she showed me her new cutie-mark. A piece of beef. Just a plain piece of beef. Then I showed her mine, as soon as she saw it, I could tell she was jealous. She said it was stupid and walked off. Head hanging down. So I tried to cheer her up. I heard of a pony in Ponyville that does the best parties for free.

"Purple Pie? I think I've heard of her.

"So I hired her, and in about 7 hours, she was here with lots of party supplies. But bad things happened at the party, I kept beating her at games, and I was a better dancer, she was mad at me a lot.... jealous..."

"Was not, you little freak!" Beefonette said angrily, her cheeks glowing red due to how embarrassed she was.

Baconetta snorted, containing her laughter. "So she said we should go on a walk. I followed  because I was gullible then... She took me to the mountain, it was freezing, but she insisted on showing me something. We finally reached the cave, I saw the tube, then... she pushed me in..."

Sir E'quine looked at Beefonette is disgust. He picked up some snow, and chucked it at Beefonette's face.

"Hm. You have bad temper. You should be ashamed." Sir E'quine said loyally. Beefonette's face lit up with fury. "Boys...... get them."

Hamity walked up the mountain, she was freezing. She ate a little lolly she had, just to keep her energy up, up the track a bit, she could see hoof marks. "Yes! At least I'm going the right way." She said. She climbed for another hour, following the steps, she looked up the mountain and saw a small cave. Yes!

She though, but then she heard a scream from the cave, it was Baconetta's, she could tell. She took another step up, but as she did, one of Beefonette's fell from the cave, and landed right next to Hamity with a crunch, he wasn't moving.  She looked at the body in horror.

But then as she heard Baconetta scream, she had to run up, but just as she was about to make it, the mountain lion jumped at her, she fell back, then the lion began walking stealthily around her.

Hamity secretly slid her hand into her bag for the knife the lion began talking. "Well, well, well, a small, juicy filly... What to do what to do,,,? A stew? A sandwich? Roasted...?"

The lion kept licking its lips, then suddenly it jumped to attack Hamity, but Hamity quickly stuck out the knife if front of her and turned her head.

Blood spattered all over the side of her face as she heard squishy crunch, then a thump. She looked at the body, it was a mess. The snow around the body was a light crimson. She was violently shaking, she'd killed another living thing...

She was losing her usual golden colour and was turning pale. She stood up and continued up the mountain, the knife still in her bloody hooves.

Baconetta was holding off Beefonette, all her hench-ponies were either dead or knocked-out.. Sir E'quine was lying in the corner, luckily still breathing. Baconetta turned around and bucked Beefonette, it hit her face, blood sprayed.

Beefonette stumbled back. Baconetta took the advantage, and she ran up and bucked her in the stomach. Beefonette fell down, bloody and gasping for air, Baconetta went uo to do the finishing blow. But as she did, Beefonette whacked her legs, making Baconetta fall over.

Beefonette was still gasping, she couldn't get up. Baconetta got up and kicked Beefonette's ribs, there was a loud crack as Beefonette screamed in pain. She begged for mercy. At that moment, Hamity walked in.

"SIS!!!!!" Hamity yelled in delight. She ran over to her big sister.

"HAMITY!!! OH MY CELESTIA!!!!" They ran over to eachother and hugged. "Hamity, what happened, is that.... blood?" Baconetta was looking at her sister, whose face was half crimson. Baconetta started sobbing tears of delight, and hugged her sister tightly.

"Sis, everypony's been looking for you, what happened?!" Hamity asked.

"I'll tell you another time. It's a long story. Now, help me with him." She said as she pointed to Sir E'quine. They were about to leave, but at the door, Baconetta stopped. She walked over to Beefonette.

"Hamity! I need your help with this one!" Baconetta said as she smiled down at Beefonette. Hamity walked over with Sir E'quine, who had regained consciousness.

"Thank you..." Beefonette said slowly. Hamity and Sir E'quine smiled as well.

"Hay, what are friends for?".

  THE END!