I awoke with a start, my sense of danger making me aware of the fact that someone was watching me. Jerking upright in the bed, my hand nearly went to my boob knife, but I stopped myself before grabbing it. Focusing on looking for the individual who was spying on me, I found that Twilight was standing on the other side of the bars.

The alicorn seemed somewhat frazzled, with her hair being a bit of a mess and her eyes both slightly bloodshot. Clearly, she hadn't slept much, and from the smell of her, she hadn't showered yet today either. I was about to remark that she looked a little worse for wear when I noticed that the sun hadn't even risen yet.

“A bit early to start the interrogation don't you think?” I asked while rubbing my head.

“Luna said you had something to say to me, and I didn't want to wait until breakfast before I heard it,” Twilight replied. “So, out with it.”

I sighed. “Alright well, I just wanted to apologize. I’ve been busting your balls a bit too much and I wanted to say that I was sorry and that I’ll try to be a bit nicer in the future.”

Twilight just blinked in disbelief.

I waited for her brain to catch up with what she had just heard but when no words came out of her open mouth I started to get worried. Rising up from the bed, I strode over to the bars and prodded the alicorn in the forehead. That seemed to get her attention, and she nearly jumped out of her skin before shooting me a glare.

“I was thinking!” she muttered.

“Sorry. Thought you were having an aneurysm or something. Didn't want my lifeline dying on me unexpectedly,” I replied with a shrug, leaning against the wall and crossing my arms. “So, what were you thinking about?”

“Just how much of what I know is wrong,” Twilight remarked. “Every time I spoke to Shining Armor he told me of some other crime you had committed or horrific deed you had perpetrated.”

“Your brother’s loony tunes, dude,” I replied.

“I’m starting to agree with you on that,” Twilight murmured, mostly to herself. “I had never really questioned it as I heard a first-hand account of the horror spread by demons and their followers during Discord’s reign.”

“How many times do I have to tell you guys that I’m not a demon?” I whined.

“I know that now,” Twilight admitted. “The truth spell allows its caster to know the temperament or perhaps disposition of every individual who connects to it and though ornery at times you never strayed anywhere near the evil of a demon.”

“Like a know alignment spell,” I remarked.

“Alignment?” Twilight asked.

“Yeah it's kind of a holdover from the older systems, but it's like this see?” I began, walking over to the bathroom and drawing a quick three-by-three square on the mirror with my finger. “We all exist on two axis, good and evil, as well as lawful and chaotic.”

“That seems a bit oversimplified,” Twilight pointed out.

“Yeah it's not exactly great for nuance, but it is generally pretty good. Now,” I turned back around. “Lawful good means you respect authority, and generally do what you can to help others. Lawful neutral means you may respect order and tradition but the actual law is not something you hold very highly. Lawful evil would mean you generally use the system to your advantage.”

“Like a corrupt politician or something,” Twilight pointed.

“Exactly. They don't break the law, but they know how to skirt it well, and maybe even use it to harm others if applied in a manner it may not have been intended to be applied,” I continued.

“Huh. I know a few ponies who would fit that category but I wouldn't call them evil,” Twilight replied.

“Evil is a spectrum. Yes, puppy kicking and selling his mother for a beer-level evil exists but so to does the person who would never lift a finger to help another and only ever seems to care about themself,” I retorted.

Twilight seemed deep in thought but was still listening so I took that as my cue to continue.

“The neutral axis exists between the polar extremes,” I pressed on, tapping another of the squares. “Neutral good may help others but they don't really care about the rules. Like, for example, if there are laws against feeding the homeless they will happily break them.”

“Can't believe that ordnance was ever on the books,” Twilight muttered to herself.

“True neutral seeks balance in all things, while neutral evil is self-serving and almost recklessly selfish,” I explained. “They don't care about rules, laws, or anything only themselves.”

“I’m starting to see how this would be a decent axis of understanding a person’s moral leanings,” Twilight admitted.

“Which leads us to the last axis, the chaotic one,” I began, tapping the glass. “You may equate chaos with evil and though taken to its extreme it can be, it is also freedom in its purest form.”

“Celestia taught me something similar,” Twilight piped up. “Order in the extreme is stagnation and death, and chaos in the extreme is a complete destruction of society and even self depending on which philosopher you listen to.”

“Huh, never thought about it like that,” I murmured, pausing to shake my head. “Anyway, chaotic good would value freedom but doesn't like it when authority intervenes and is as the name implies, generally good. Chaotic neutral is an individualist in the purest sense of the word. Then finally chaotic evil. They have no regard for anyone, and are individualist in the same way your high school bully is.”

“A sort of might makes right type,” Twilight added.

I nodded. “Exactly, and when I started the game I had chosen chaotic good, I think. Though my alignment may have shifted since then.”

“Well it certainly felt good, so I’d agree you were right on that one,” Twilight agreed.

“Anyway, I’d put you more as lawful good, while Luna is a neutral good, and your brother lawful evil or if I’m being overly charitable at most lawful neutral,” I continued.

“Hmm,” Twilight hummed to herself.

“But that's just my take on things,” I exclaimed, plopping back onto the bed with a thunk.

“You have given me much to think about,” Twilight murmured.

“So… Is there anything else you need?” I asked. “Cus I was kinda hoping to get a bit more sleep.”

“Yeah, that's fine. I’ll speak to you again later,” Twilight whispered, half to herself, half to me.

The alicorn then wandered off, still deep in thought and clearly distracted. As she walked away, I plopped back down into my bed and watched the mare leave. Rolling over, I was intent on falling back asleep but was unsure if I actually would be able to do so.

I was surprised to wake up several hours later, having evidently fallen asleep rather suddenly. Despite my slumber being interrupted I felt rested and very aware for lack of a better word. There was none of the grogginess that came with waking up most days, and I noted that my hair wasn't even that disheveled.

Standing up, I walked over to the bathroom and glanced at my reflection. Sure enough, I was still a gnoll, but I at least didn't look like a bedraggled gnoll. It took only a few short minutes to take my morning piss, clean up my appearance slightly and take a drink. I was about to get ready for more questions when I glanced out the window and noticed that it was still fairly early in the morning.

“About seven thirty I’d say,” I muttered to myself.

I didn't think that the ponies would be ready to start things that early so I went back, stripped off my armor, and had a shower. This took nearly two hours what with how long the stripping, and washing all the shaggy fur of mine took. Plus it was hella awkward as although the shower was taller than most, ponies still built it so it was too short for me. Either way, it was functional and by the end of it I was able to clean everything and don my armor right before I heard company approach.

This time it was both Twilight as well as Luna who had deigned to grace me with their presence. Twilight was much more put together this time and from the look of her had probably got some sleep. From the smell of her, she too had a shower, which was nice as a gnoll’s nose is really sensitive, and smelly horse was pungent.

“Good morning Fareeah,” Luna greeted.

“Morning you two,” I replied languidly.

“I heard you had a good talk last night, or should I say earlier today,” Luna offered.

I nodded. “I think so, what about you Twilight?”

“Quite,” Twilight replied simply.

“Then we shall proceed to the questions after you have had a chance to eat,” Luna stated.

The bars were banished, and I was allowed out into the more open basement area. There I stretched out as far as I was able, causing a great number of cracks to resound from my back.

“Ahh much better,” I muttered. “You’re accommodations aren't bad but your bed could use some work.”

“It does seem as though it requires some extra support, as well as a few more inches on its end,” Luna remarked while glancing past me.

“I’ll go into town and find something more suitable for you later today,” Twilight offered.

“Thanks. I may have gotten used to sleeping on the floor for a while there but I’d rather not have to do so again,” I murmured. “So, food?”

I glanced over to find that a guard was waiting with a plate already in hoof.

“Hey thanks, bud,” I exclaimed.

Before I could reach for the food he pulled it back.

“I would like to apologize both on a personal level as well as part of manacle squad,” he began.

I looked a little closer and realized that it was the slightly feminine stallion that led the squad that was speaking.

“Eh, it's no worries,” I dismissed. “In the end, you did the right thing and that's what matters.”

He didn't seem to accept this response but gave me my meal anyway. Which happened to be of two bagels and a side of sunny-side-up eggs. Overhard may have been the perfect method to cook such a delicacy, but I wasn't about to complain and immediately bit into one of the bread circles.

“Sho, how was yer nights?” I asked.

“Don't talk with your mouth full,” Twilight retorted.

I just rolled my eyes and sat down at the table. My companions were quick to join me.

“I slept soundly at the local inn,” Luna declared. “The dream realm was especially quiet so I was granted a rare moment of relaxation.”

“Really? I thought it would have been a hotbed of nightmares given all the activity in town,” I remarked before tossing the last of the first bagel into my mouth.

“Ponyville is a town used to chaos. I doubt even your arrival has shaken many of its residents,” Twilight replied.

I shrugged. “Fair enough I suppose. You ponies are a particularly panicky bunch though.”

“Ponies flight response is triggered a bit more than in other species, but thankfully it is quickly quelled,” Luna answered.

I nodded along while I continued to eat, noting that it was very dry, grainy, and dense but still good. It felt like a step beyond whole wheat and could use more flavor than just the bit of butter they had added. The eggs were also fairly bland, sporting only a slight dusting of salt and pepper, but again I didn't complain as it wasn't all that bad, given everything.

“Right,” I began. “Where do we go from here?”

“We get the spells started- and hold on a second,” Twilight muttered, magically picking up the crystal ball that was at the center of the table. “We’re gonna need a new one. It seems as if this one is full already.”

“That is strange, I thought you said they could contain far more information,” Luna replied.

“I thought so too,” Twilight muttered. “I’ll go get another one.”

The young alicorn then stood up and hastily trotted out of the room, leaving me alone with Luna. For a moment I wondered what, if anything, we should talk about only for a certain line to pop into my mind.

“So,” I began, leaning forward. “Do you know what Nightmare Moon meant when she said quote, Fools! It matters not if I am defeated, for there is no escaping the god of destruction. I had hoped to toughen this world up for his arrival, but it seems like you all shall be lambs to the slaughter!”

“I… I don't know,” Luna murmured.

My eyes narrowed. “You don't know anything about that?”

“Well, there are things we can assume,” Luna began. “One is that Nightmare Moon knew of Yeenoghu’s coming and in her own twisted way was attempting to ensure the world was not destroyed.”

“Seems like you’re defending her,” I pointed out.

“No, of course not. I would never,” Luna hastily replied.

I shrugged. “Hey, it's not an indefensible point to make. He seems to be coming and uniting the world beneath one iron fist, or in this case, hoof would be effective at resisting him. It wouldn't be a completely morally correct way of defeating the god of slaughter but it would be effective.”

“I uh yes, I suppose it would,” Luna awkwardly remarked. “Though it is easy to justify all manner of cruelty when you are weighing your actions against the literal destruction of the world.”

“True, easy to fall down a slippery slope of justifications until you’re almost worse,” I replied.

“Yes, of course,” Luna agreed a little too easily.

“So,” I continued. “Nightmare Moon is dead then, right?”

“Yes,” Luna stated firmly, so firmly in fact that I couldn't help but feel as though her response was rehearsed.

“A shame, she seems like a prime target for Twilight and the gang to give a second chance to considering her goals were noble even if her methods may not have been the best,” I added.

“No, she was evil, and it’s good that she's gone forever,” Luna declared, though her statement lacked the oomph of certainty, even the fake certainty, of earlier.

I shrugged and leaned back in the chair. “Fair enough.”

We sat in awkward silence for the next minute or so waiting for Twilight's return. I did my best to exude cold confidence while Luna seemed distant, her gaze unfocused.

“Found it,” Twilight exclaimed.

The alicorn then glided down the steps and placed the new crystal on the table.

“Spike moved my supply box to make room for more of his comic books,” Twilight explained.

“Alright, now then. Where should we start?” I offered.

Twilight lit her horn. “With the spells of course. Just give me a minute to-”

The door to the top of the basement suddenly flung open, cutting Twilight off for a second time. There standing in the archway was a figure I knew from second-hand accounts but had never seen before in my life. Cadance, the alicorn of love, and the supposed partner of my would-be killer was there, glaring down at me.

With her wings spread, and her features drawn into tight lines of anger, she seemed ready to strangle me. Despite this fact, her makeup was immaculate, subtle, yet more pronounced than either Luna or Twilight used in their day-to-day life. Cadance also had more generous proportions, with her hips being wider, her legs a bit more shapely and her lips having an unmistakable kissable quality to them. All at once I understood why Shining Armor had so fervently desired her and spoke so highly of the mare.

And for once I couldn't help but agree with the stallion.

“You,” she proclaimed, jabbing a hoof at me.

“Me?” I asked, also pointing an appendage at my chest.

“What is going on here? Shining Armor told me that the prisoner would have been shipped off to Tartarus by now,” Cadance declared while stomping adorably down the stairs.

She was just so pudgy and adorable that even as her steps threatened to crack the wood I couldn't find her the least bit intimidating. It was simply too cute, like a supermodel stomping around and trying to show off while being the hottest one in the room. Even the crackling magic that sparked at the tip of her horn couldn't make me scared of her, though I wasn't sure why.

“The investigation is ongoing,” Luna proclaimed. “Charges have not been filed, and no verdict has been handed down.”

“And why not? I thought we as princesses could hand down such sentences without requiring the courts,” Cadance pressed on, standing next to Twilight.

“I mean yeah but that's immoral, especially given how much new information we’ve uncovered,” Twilight pressed.

“Like how hot you are. I didn't know that before, and now I do!” I exclaimed.

“I uh…” Cadance blinked, her angry tirade derailed by my sudden compliment. “What new information?”

“Twilight would you mind informing Cadance of the events of the last forty-eight hours, as well as what Fareeah here has informed us of?” Luna asked.

“Sure,” Twilight replied, turning to Luna and clearing her throat. “Okay, so it all starts with-”

As Twilight explained, I stared off into space, or more accurately I stared off at Cadance. I couldn't help but imagine how I could win her over, or if such a thing was even possible. I was fairly certain she was like, cosmicly destined to marry Shining Armor, but that guy was a dick. It was at about this point of my idle musings that I realized just how entranced I had become with the alicorn of love.

As I grappled with my very sudden crush, I recalled a part of my backstory that I hadn't thought important. Fareeah followed the goddess of love, though, in the original game, she had a different name than Cadance. Still, from what little I could recall, I had indeed written down this mystery goddess of love as my primary deity.

Was I only feeling this way because of my character? Were these feelings not real, or did I just seriously develop a huge crush on the girlfriend of the guy who has tried to kill me a dozen times? As I tried to square that circle, the conversation winded down, and Cadance looked far more confused than before.

“This is all a bit much to take in,” Cadance muttered. “Shining Armor may have become a bit more forceful recently but this seems out of character, even for him.”

“If you want, we could show you the recordings, or turn on the truth spell in order to assure you of the story’s validity,” Luna offered.

“No, that's fine,” Cadance replied. “I trust you two.”

“I’m going to assume you were lumping me and Twilight together,” I exclaimed, with a wink.

“I most certainly was not,” Cadance retorted.

Luna cleared her throat. “More importantly, what are you doing here? I thought you had urgent business in Canterlot. Something about assisting Celestia with the recent negotiations.”

“I left after I heard about this whole debacle not being wrapped up immediately,” Cadance explained. “Though I see why that wasn't the case.”

“Your boy toy has yet to commit the extrajudicial murder he so craves, but I’m sure he’ll try again soon,” I declared. “If you stick around I’m sure you’ll get front-row seats to my unjustifiable execution. Make sure not to sit too close, wouldn't want to get hit with the splash.”

“He wouldn't… I…” Cadance frowned. “I need time to think.”

“Take all the time you need,” Twilight offered.

“And I’d advise against talking to your boyfriend. He seems to have a few screws loose,” I added.

“He's not my boyfriend. We’re on a break,” Cadance exclaimed. “But that doesn't matter. I have to go. I’m sure Celestia is wondering why I left so suddenly.”

“Will you be returning anytime soon?” Luna asked.

“I’ll return once I’ve had a chance to explain the situation to Celestia,” Cadance answered.

“I suppose I’ll see you soon then,” Twilight added.

“See you later, gorgeous,” I complimented.

Cadance looked at me with a strange, confused expression before teleporting away with a pop.

“Gorgeous? Really?” Luna demanded, turning to me.

“What? It's the best I could come up with, besides she’s totally hot and you know it,” I retorted.

Luna seemed ready to agree, if reluctantly but Twilight was not having it.

“Can we please talk about something else?” Twilight pleaded.

“I suppose we could get back to the interview,” I offered. “Though I wouldn't mind staying on the topic of how hot Cadance is for another minute or so.”

“No, absolutely not,” Twilight intruded. “Now, just wait a moment while I-”

The door to the basement burst open and a new figure appeared, one that I had met before.

“Where is my girlfriend?” Demanded Shining Armor.

Twilight stood suddenly, a vein on her head bulging to the point that I thought it might burst. “We are trying to conduct an investigation here and you are not helping matters!” Twilight shouted.

“Also, I thought you two were on a break,” Luna added in a much calmer tone.

“It's just a hiccup, but that doesn't matter. Where is she?” Shining Armor pressed.

“Gone! As you should be too!” Twilight proclaimed.

Shining Armor opened his mouth to respond but was teleported away by Twilight before he could say anything. The young alicorn then sat down rather forcibly and lit her horn once more.

“Now then, unless there are any other distractions, sudden arrivals, or other such nonsense I would like to get started,” Twilight yelled.

“Go right ahead Twilight,” Luna offered.

I leaned back in my chair. “Yeah, whenever you’re ready dude.”

Twilight cast the zone of truth spell, the recording spell in quick succession. Once the magic was in place, she seemed to have blown off a majority of the steam, the vein on her head shrinking.

“Now. Perhaps we can get to the next thing of note which occurred to you after your first few weeks here in Equestria,” Twilight offered.

“Yes, I am most intrigued to hear about how all of your adventures fit together with Shining Armor’s reports,” Luna added.

“Hmm, where to start?” I muttered. “Oh I know, I’ll talk about how I saved a bunch of bandits from certain doom!”

Author's Note

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