Maniacal Laughter

by WriterBright

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Random, Adventure, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1191

A tale of sacrifice, of patriotism, of convenient comedic death.

Red thinks that her laugh sounds friendly. Blue thinks she should stop laughing while shooting others.

---

A weird short in which I try and write gunfights and conversations.

Published 2022-12-15 04:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-12-15 04:20:00 UTC

Pew pew

The rattle of the machine gun matched the maniacal laughter escaping me.

The crack of bullets flying over my head only added to the ringing in my ears. Concrete dust rained down in a fine powder over me, dusting my black jacket a snowy white. I rode the trigger without a care in the world, spraying the targets a block away.

The cessation of bullets and a loud click forced me to pull back behind solid cover. Fumbling with the box of ammo for a moment, an annoyed voice spoke in my ear.

"Red pull back and rotate to the south side of the building, and for the love of Celestia take this seriously. I can hear your laughter from all the way over here and you're freaking Green out."

I pressed the radio transmitter with a little more force than necessary.

"Green can cover my path and deal with it. There's still half a squad a block north."

"Yellow has it covered, and Green has you covered. Now get over here."

I tisked and locked the new box of ammo into place. Racking the slide, I threw the M249 over my shoulder and charged through the doorway into the building. Vaulting over a desk, I burst out the other side and fell into place next to my insufferable squad lead.

"Four targets coming up the street, light 'em up!"

"Don't need to tell me twice."

WIth a thump my squad automatic weapon hit the ground, a moment of lining up the sights, I made music. The four targets didn't stand a chance.

"Red seriously, your laughter is going to haunt my dreams!"

"Aww you dream about me?"

"Yea and I wake up in a bucking terrified cold sweat every time. My wife is worried!"

"That's nice. Tell Plum I said hi."

"Hey! No names!"

"Yea yea, Blue."

I scanned the street for a moment, before I picked up on a sound.

"Is that engine noise getting closer?"

"Oh Faust, they're throwing armor at us."

"Well they have lost like three squads to this position."

A radio crackled and a voice spilled out into the room.

"Blue we got a IFV rolling up the road- Celestia's teats Green just got vaporized!"

A heavy sigh escaped my squad lead. I patted him on the back with a reassuring hoof.

"It's alright, the colt was expendable anyways."

He gave me a look that seemed to try and deny my existence into nothingness. He held up his radio and spoke into it.

"Yellow, try and hit it with Green's stick. If you miss, just bug out of there."

"Copy that. I'll go peak the giant cannon on wheels with a death stick."

A moment later, a loud bang resounded out from the other side of the building, and the sound of the engine rumble died, only to be replaced by rapid gunfire.

"I hit it but they aren't happy about it!"

"Nice! just regroup at the first floor, we're about to be overrun anyways."

He looked at me and waved me forward. We both dashed into the building, and at his direction I set up a killbox looking from the stairs. He set up behind me looking up the stairs, protecting from flyers and ambitious climbers. Sliding down the stairs and setting up next to me was Yellow, our squad combat medic.

"Heyya! Green took the IFV's cannon to the face. He's very dead, but he kindly let me take his single use."

"He better, he's dead."

She pouted.

"It's still polite to ask."

Tons of fun squad lead trotted down from the second story.

"Two squads escorted by another IFV are coming up. Let's try and ambush them as a last stand."

I clopped my hooves together.

"Oooh, how noble. Is this is solidation for our lost comrade Green?"

"Red for the love of harmony please just shoot your gun quietly."

"The best I can give you is extremely disconcerting giggles."

"I'll take it, just find a good spot and wait for an opportunity."

I lifted my M249 again, and turned to my comrades.

"Well it was nice knowing you. May our sacrifice here save countless lives- ow!"

My so-called comrade hit me with his vicious hooves, a SAPR case in the making I tell you.

"Go! Get! Go shoot some ponies!"

"Alright, alright, geez. I didn't know you didn't hold any faith in our country's morals."

"Red!"

"Moving!~"

I left my detestable and abusive squad lead behind and peaked out onto the street. Seeing nothing that could kill me, I dashed across the asphalt scared that a lucky prick with a gun was about to make my day much worse. To my relief, I slid into cover on the other side of the road without incident.

Finding a nice spot to snuggle in for a leath ambush, I trained my gun on the street and made myself at least somewhat hidden. The sound of another engine approaching filled me with anticipation, but to my displeasure, the gunfire started before anypony walked into my killzone. Undeterred I waited patiently.

"Yellow got hit by four shots, she's a goner. They have me pinned as well. Good luck Red."

I sighed as another burst of gunfire rocked the street. My patience had run out, and I popped up from my position and slammed my gun onto a barrier. To both my and another ponies surprise we were inches from each other.

"Oh hey Cream, long time to see!"

I squeezed the trigger, sending countless rounds into him and his comrades. A truly evil laugh escaped me that even surprised me a little, but my fun was cut short as the IFV's turret traversed over to my position.

"That's not good."

A twenty five millimeter round of friendship exploded in my chest, sending me into a coughing fit. A gem on my collar flashed red, signaling I had taken lethal damage. I looked over to my old boot division rackmate, who was still dazed by my point plank barrage.

"No hard feelings?"

A red firework exploded in the air, signaling the end of the exercise.

"Oh shoot, was I the last?"

I spotted as across the street my squadmates exited the building and entered the street. The IFV's hatches popped open, and I waved to one of the crew members.

"Nice shot!"

I walked over to Cream, and extended a hoof to him.

"Thanks. I didn't think I'd see you here."

"Neither did I! Come over here, let me introduce you to my squad."

I spotted Green, our newest member still covered in the white dust that composed the rounds of this training exercise. Everything above his shoulders was covered in the white dust. He wore a sour expression next to Yellow, who looked like she had decided polka dots were back in fashion. Red was the most unscathed out of all of us, with only two hits to the helmet.

"I think you'll love em. Don't worry, the first round is on me."

Author's Note

I don't know what I am doing. Here is a thing. Hope it sparks joy.