Memory

by Erynaster1504

Rating: everyone
Tags: Self Insert, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Romance, Anon, Second Person
Length: 2528

You're celebrating three years in Equestria, prompting you and your wife, Twilight Sparkle, to sit down and have a solemn discussion about life.

Three years since your arrival. Its been quite the journey of self-rediscovery, one you could never have made without the guidance of Twilight Sparkle, your wonderful friend and now loving companion for life.

Living out the rest of your days in a land where love, friendship, and kindness ruled supreme didn't seem like an unwanted prospect to you. But with painful memories surfacing regarding your old life on Earth, your loving wife Twilight Sparkle sits down with you to offer some reassurance.

Cover art by Neonishe on Derpibooru!

EDIT: Featured on 11/1/2023! Thank you so much for your support!

Published 2023-01-10 04:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-01-10 04:20:00 UTC

I'm Here

“Anon, can you help me out with the decorations?”

You turn away from the window. It’s all fogged up, the outside world being nothing but a white, fuzzy blur due to all the snow. The pegasi weather control had promised such weather by sundown.

“Sure, hon.”

Twilight Sparkle smiles as she hands you a box of old Hearth’s Warming ornaments. The magenta glow surrounding it vanishes as you take the box in your arms, which surprises you with how heavy it really was. Staggering slightly, you right yourself as you make your way towards the tree at the center of the room.

“You sure you’ll be alright, Anon?” Twilight asks.

You gently set down the box at the base of the tree, turning to face Twilight with a pained expression on your face.

“Yeah, yeah… I've got this. It’s just heavier than I remember.” You scratch the back of your head. “I swear that thing gets heavier every year…either that or I’m getting old.”

Twilight chuckles, walking over to you. “We’ve both aged a lot, that’s the truth.”

You smile. Wasn't that the understatement of the century.

It had been two years since the defeat of Cozy Glow, Tirek, and Chrysalis. In that span of time, a whole lot had changed, more especially Twilight. Ever since ascending to the throne, she had grown considerably in stature.

Gone were the days when she was a little pony with whom you had to go down on one bended knee in order to be at eye-level. She now could look you straight in the eye, her height being reminiscent of that of her predecessor.

"What?" Twilight muses, noting your silence.

"Nothing. It's just…nevermind." You chuckle, pulling a glass ornament from the box. "Come on, we can get this done before lunch."

The two of you continue to work on the tree, with Twilight taking care of the top half while hovering midair, leaving you to work on the lower half as far as your arms could reach.

Pretty soon, it is finished. The pinnacle of your hard work, and undoubtedly the piece de resistance of what would soon be the biggest holiday of the year. Hearth's Warming Eve.

You glance at the box. There's still some ornaments left over. You glance up at the tree.

"Remind me again why you wanted a smaller tree this year?" You scratch your head.

Twilight smiles.

"I already told you, I want this year to be a quiet celebration for the both of us."

"But what about the rest of the girls?" You ask. Twilight had not gone through a single Hearth’s Warming celebration without the company of her friends.

"Hmm…" Twilight hums thoughtfully. "Rarity's gone home to her family for the Holidays, Applejack and Rainbow Dash will be having their own quiet family gathering at Sweet Apple Acres, Pinkie and Cheese will be taking their kids out ice-skating, and as far as I'm concerned, Fluttershy and Discord are off-universe."

Twilight chuckles.

"It's just you and me this year. But even if they were around, I'd still prefer to be alone in your company." Twilight finishes, smiling.

“I think I'd like that." You can't help but return the smile. "Just you and me."

Twilight trots over to you, nuzzling your neck with her cheek. You slip an arm around the back of her neck, pulling her close in a hug.

"It won't be just you and me for long." Twilight whispers.

Placing a hand on the growing bulge on Twilight's midsection, you can feel your eyes beginning to tear up.

"Yeah. It won't be."

"There. That should do it."

Twilight sighs as the last speck of sunlight disappears over the horizon's edge.

You gaze in awe as the moon begins its climb up the nighttime sky, guided by Twilight's glowing horn.

"No matter how many times I see you do this…just, wow." You beam at her.

The glow from Twilight's horn fades, her job finally done. The moon hovers in the sky, hanging in place by the very magic that held this world together.

"I'm still getting used to it… even after all this time." Twilight mumbles. "Celestia had to do this on her own for so long back in the day, and now I know how it feels."

"Which is?"

"Pressuring. It's a lot of responsibility for one pony alone."

"Well lucky for us, that pony is the great Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, and ruler over all of Equestria." You beam. “I can’t think of anypony more qualified for the task.”

Twilight’s cheeks turn a faint shade of pink at your words.

“You really think so?

"Of course! Who better to manage all the affairs of the land than my very own Twily-wiley—"

"Stop that. It's embarrassing." Twilight nudges you playfully, trying not to smile. “I thought we agreed not to use those nicknames anymore?”

Your smirk. "I mean, hey, I've called you more embarrassing things in bed—"

"Anon!" She blurts out, blushing profusely.

"Kidding, I'll stop now." You chuckle, guiding your wife back into the room. You close the balcony doors behind you.

"Spike's off at the Dragonlands again, isn't he?" You ask, taking off your bathrobe before slipping under the covers.

“Mhmm, helping Ember deal with a bunch of rogue dragons up north.” Twilight clambers atop the queen-sized bed with a little flap of her wings. “Honestly, it’s unusual not having him around the castle, but it does feel nice that we can spend this time completely alone for a change.”

You chuckle. “Tell me about it. Remember that night a few moons ago, when he found us together…?”

“Oh gosh, that.” Twilight giggles. “He didn’t let me hear the end of it for weeks.”

“That’s the last time we do it in the castle library, Twi.”

Twilight grins. “I rest my case.”

Silence meets her words as you two gaze up at the bedroom ceiling. A few fireflies had flown into the room, casting a sparse yellow glow overhead as they hover beneath the darkened bedroom ceiling. It’s a cozy sight to behold, not to mention a romantic one.

Twilight sighs. You reach out with an arm and place it over her shoulder, gently pulling her closer to you. She shows no resistance, snuggling deeper into the crook of your neck with her horn resting on your cheek. Her forehooves are pinned close to her chest, while her hind legs shift around in place for a moment before one leg manages to squeeze in between your thighs, close to your more intimate areas. She notices this, retracting her leg while muttering hushed apologies.

"S-sorry…"

You smile.

"Shh. It's okay."

She smiles back, planting a loving kiss to your neck before diving back into the warm, fuzzy embrace. This time, her forehooves wrap around your torso as she presses herself against you, close enough that you can feel her heartbeat thudding against your chest.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

It's quite relaxing.

You squeeze her a little tighter in your arms, taking care not to apply too much pressure to the bulge on her lower abdomen. Your little bundle of joy, the product of your love for Twilight, and vice versa.

You glance down at your wife, only for her gaze to instantly hold yours. Her deep violet pools stare into your own, and as you hold the gaze for a little longer she begins to smile a sleepy little smile, with your gaze breaking shortly after as a yawn finally escapes your lips.

"Ha, looks like I won…" Twilight mutters drowsily. "You blinked…"

You chuckle. "Go to sleep, Twi. I'll join you soon enough."

The sleepy Alicorn sighs, her eyes fluttering. "Mmkay… see you in my dreams, Nonny…"

"Not if I see you in mine first." You smile. "Goodnight, love."

"Goodnight, Anon."

"Open your gift, _____!"

You beam at all the happy, smiling faces around you. You're sitting beneath the Christmas tree, tentatively awaiting your turn to open your gift.

You eagerly rip at the wrappings, revealing a brand-new action figure of your favorite superhero. You love it.

"Thanks, mom!"

The woman beams at you. At least, you knew she was beaming. The funny thing about her was that where her face would be there was nothing but a featureless blur, leaving you unable to recognize any distinct details at all. But now that you had the time to analyze your surroundings, all of the people you were with had their facial features obscured.

What was happening?

Your surroundings begin to blur as the dream begins to shift, changing form and essence as you felt yourself slipping away into the void…

You open your eyes.

You sit up in bed, drenched in cold sweat from head to foot. Wiping your forehead, you glance around the room. It's just the same as you had left it, albeit darker with the absence of the fireflies.

Glancing down, you can barely make out your wife resting next to you, still deep in slumber, hooves wrapped around your midsection even in dreams.

You relax slightly.

Rubbing your eyes, you slowly pry yourself from Twilight's vice-like grip before putting on your slippers. Once that was done, you slip back into your bathrobe as you make your way to the doorway in the corner.

You needed air.

The staircase looms dark and foreboding as it descends into the darkness, but you press forward anyway. Taking one step at a time, you make your way down each of the stairs before finally coming to a halt at its foot.

The tree stands majestically in front of you, even in the darkness. You grope around for the switch, flicking it on as the lights begin to dance once more upon the tree’s surface.

Gazing forlornly at the tree, your sight begins to blur as hot tears begin to build up in your eyes, causing the twinkling lights to meld together in an incomprehensible blur. You didn’t want anyone to see you like this. Your sorrow was yours and yours alone.

“Anonymous Human, why are you down here so late?”

You knew she had followed you downstairs from the moment you disappeared from her side. Twilight Sparkle approaches you, taking her place at your left.

“Anon, let’s talk about this. Please.”

You nod, tearing your gaze away from the shimmering lights that invoked far too many memories than you were comfortable with.

You follow your wife to the darkened couch in the corner, taking your place at her side while she fetches a blanket from thin air in a flash of light. She wraps it around you in a comforting manner. Not too tight, just snug and cozy to your liking.

“Thanks, hon.” You mumble.

“Mhmm.” She hums softly.

The two of you sit in silence, watching the snow fall outside the fogged up window. No words are exchanged for the first few minutes, before Twilight breaks the silence with a question.

“Do you feel like talking about it?” She asks nervously.

You sigh. “I’m just homesick, Twi. It’s nothing new.”

“I understand.”

“No, you don’t.” You clench your fists, feeling your anxiety beginning to rise.

“I…” Twilight hesitates. “No, I don’t. I’m sorry, Anon.”

You glance at Twilight. She seems nervous, not to mention unsure. You sigh.

“I’m sorry, Twi. It’s just…I miss them, okay? Everyone I left behind. I’m never gonna see them again, and it’s just really hard to swallow.” You can feel your voice tremble as you speak. “This holiday reminds me of everything good we’ve been through together, and now, knowing that I’m never gonna get another chance—”

You’re about to break. You sniffle, willing the tears that threaten to spill out at any moment to stay right in your skull, where they belong.

Twilight says nothing, pulling you close to her with her wings. A forehoof guides you to her shoulder, where you bury your face in an attempt to hide your sorrow from her.

“Shh, Anon. Just let it all out, I’m here.” She whispers, gently rubbing your back.

You choke between sobs, your hot tears falling on Twilight’s lovely coat. She doesn’t mind, continuing to hold onto you as though your life depended on it. And in a way, it did, considering all that you were feeling at the moment. You felt like you were about to shatter.

“*sniff* You’re…You’re really warm, Twi.” You choke, somewhere between a chuckle and a sob. “Thank you for this.”

“Don’t thank me, Anon. It’s my duty to be there for you in moments like this, always.” She lifts your chin with a hoof. “Thank you for telling me all these things.”

You nod, unable to think of what to say. Silence seemed like the best option at the moment.

Twilight continues to swaddle you in her wings, occasionally running a hoof through your hair. It’s soothing; and for a moment, it almost felt like home.

“Anon, I cannot promise you that you’ll be able to see them again. You know what the circumstances are.” She says sadly. “Whatever happened for you to arrive here…it was a one in a million thing, and the chances for something like that to happen again, it’s impossible. And even then, the chances of you surviving something like that again are slim.”

Tears begin to form in her eyes.

“I…I can’t risk losing you, Anon. It might sound selfish, but I can’t lose somebody I love anymore. Not again. Not ever.” She shakes her head. “You’re everything to me.”

You choose to remain silent.

“I’m not one to ask you to look for a bright side, Anon. I wouldn’t ask something like that of you, especially not like this.” Twilight says slowly, choosing her words carefully. “Things may seem bleak, and I know you feel hopeless about, well, pretty much everything. But trust me when I say, you won’t have to go through this alone. Not ever.”

She smiles sadly.

“I can’t promise to remove your pain, Anon, but I swear I’ll hold you in my hooves until you can’t feel it anymore. I can’t show you the light, but I promise I will sit with you in the dark for as long as it takes. No matter how much you are hurting, I swear by Celestia’s Sun that I will hurt with you. We will share this pain, together, until we can both smile again. From now and for all eternity."

That did it.

You sob uncontrollably in her hooves, trembling with sorrow. And yet...there was something else. Was it joy? You didn’t know. All you knew was that you felt safe, safe to break down into a million pieces, knowing that she was there to catch them.

“I love you, Twilight Sparkle.”

“I love you too, Anonymous. So very much.” Twilight’s tears mix with yours as she breaks down too, gasping softly.

“Merry Christmas, Anon.” She whispers in your ear.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Twilight.” You whisper back, pulling her into a loving, tender kiss.

Author's Note

After weeks of delay, here it is. :>

A Belated Merry Christmas/Hearth's Warming to you all! And a Happy New Year too.

Eryn