The hours danced by filled with reminiscent smiles and loud clatters of silverware when someone would slap the table. Spike leaned back in the old wood chair after finishing his last bite of the delicious apple turnover. The happy energy among the group had died to a quiet contentment. Big Sugar had meandered his way over to his mother’s lap earlier in the night and curled into a sleeping ball. Sugar Bell was stroking his strawberry mane while Big Mac began clearing the table. Spike pushed back from his seat to stand as the burly pony moved to his plate.

“I got it Mac, let me help ya out.” He answered as he grabbed his spread of silverware. A firm hoof landed on his shoulder easing him down into the chair.

“Nope, Granny would be rolling in her grave if we let a guest do their dishes.” The cherry stallion smiled down at him. Spike would have fought against the order if it was anyone besides an Apple, but he knew better. He eased himself back into the chair and leaned against the wooden frame.

“Fair enough.” Spike looked up across the table to see Rarity conversing quietly with Sugar Bell so as not to wake the sleeping colt. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle had already moved from the dining room up to the bedroom to have their own conversation. Better for all of us Spike thought- those two are louder than a howling diamond dog. Spike leaned back in his chair to bring the old creaking wood off the ground.

“Hey Mac, what do you say to heading out front to catch up when you’re finished there?” Spike asked as his friend returned from the sink.

“Sure. Got a couple rockers on the porch. You can head out and I’ll meet ya there in a bit.” Big Mac nodded towards the front door. Spike stood up and began walking towards the small, texturized door, passing the ladies on his way. Rarity glanced up mid-sentence at the dragon with a raised eyebrow. Spike smiled and motioned one hand between him and Big Mac, with the other pointed at the door. Rarity gave a slight nod of understanding and resumed her conversation.

Spike gently opened the door and slid into the night air. The hot summer air that usually brought ponies out was gone, as the world was deep in fall by now. The chilly nip sent an immediate shiver down his spine. He brought his arms up to rub the sleeves of his thin dress shirt. Should’ve brought my jacket too. The dragon moved away from the building to find three old rocking chairs surrounding a bale of hay. Spike smiled as he remembered the times some O&O sessions were hosted here. He began to move around to sit in the chair, but stopped himself when he saw a tiny circle of stones just off to the left of the seats. It was clearly a firepit as the middle was filled with old charcoal and ashes. Feeling the lick of the brisk air, Spike decided a fire would make for a good companion.

He moved over to the smaller shack that rested at the edge of the cleared property. He could hear the pigs sleeping in their shelter as he passed by the stall. A firm stump rested outside the back of the building with a hatchet planted inside the center. Next to it sat a mediocre sized pile of both split and unsplit logs. Mac must’ve gotten pulled away in the middle of cutting he realized. Spike rolled up his sleeves and worked his scaled digits around the base of the hatchet. With a firm tug, it pulled free of the wood. Spike worked a log onto the center of the stump. Clasping the hatchet now with both claws, he brought it above his head. He took a moment to aim carefully for the center of the log before bringing his arms down quickly.

THWACK

The log rocked as the hatchet sank about halfway through. Not bad for a first try Spike smiled to himself.

He continued slashing through the logs for a time before his mind started occupying itself. The cutting reminded him of the times he would help set up camp for the night during a campaign.

It was always a nice bit of the night when Lime and I could sneak out for a bit to chase firewood. Still, would’ve been nice to have a consistent heat source.

THWACK

The hatchet came down a little harder than before.

I wonder if Troj ever got that bike with his husband. Though, riding it with one leg probably…

Thwack

I wonder what the rest of the Barlow fighters ended up doing. Could probably keep in touch well enough, there’s only a few—

THWACK

I wonder if they feel this too…

THWACK

If they kept going…

CRUNCH

Spike looked between his legs and saw the hatchet driven partly through the splitting stump. While he had been wrapped in his thoughts, he had forgotten to check the log pile for more wood. He felt heat crawl to his cheeks in both embarrassment, and anger.

“Stupid- ergh I should’ve been watching.” He muttered out loud.

“’Tsalright Spike.” The comforting drawl soothed from behind. “There’s always more stumps.” Spike whirled around to see Big Mac watching. His embarrassment grew as he let the hatchet drop to the dirt. It did not help that Spike could feel the tears sting the corners of his eyes.

“Tell ya what; let’s start this fire, and you can repay me with letting me into that head of yours.” Mac smiled and moved forward to rest a hoof on his friend’s shoulder. Spike’s claws flexed and he glanced downward.

“Sounds like a plan.”

~

The pair sat around the crackling fire rocking silently against its heat. Big Mac had drawn out an old pipe, filling the air with a sweet scent of burning tobacco. Spike had never figured Mac would fall into that sort of thing, but he understood the stresses of running a farm and family could catch up to anyone.

They had been quiet for almost twenty minutes by Spike’s best guess. Big Mac had never been the one to start conversations, but he was always an excellent listener. At least the silence was comfortable. But it got to Spike eventually, and he decided to break it.

“There’s just a lot.” He puttered. His eyes tracked to Big Mac’s face dimly lit from the fire light. The pony had stopped rocking, but offered no judgement or input; just a face soft and ready to listen to a dear friend.

“A lot happened Mac,” Spike continued. “I’m not the- dragon- I was before.”

“That’s a good thing Spike. No change means yain’t growing.” Big Mac rocked forward.

Spike waved a claw at his friend and leaned forward. “It’s not like that. I mean that- I’ve done some things I’m not proud of.”

“We all have.”

Spike felt a temper flare up. He tried to check it before it burst from his mouth, but his words came out slightly tainted with bitterness. “I doubt it. Not like this.” He caught Big Mac’s gaze and forced himself to calm down.

“I shouldn’t be here.” Spike murmured. Big Mac said nothing, forcing Spike to explain his thoughts. “There are a lot of others who deserve to be here instead of me. Who should be here.”

“Spike, I’m going to stop you right there.” His friend’s voice cut in strongly. It threw Spike off. He sat up to look at the stallion closer. Big Mac blew a smoke ring out before knocking the embers out of the tiny device. “That’s not your call. You did what you could. Live in that. You made a lot of folks’ lives better.”

“How would you know?” Spike asked calmly. Big Mac chuckled a little before reaching into his breast pocket. He pulled out a tiny piece of strangely shaped paper. Spike squinted in the firelight to make better of the image. He realized it was the player piece for Discord- “Captain Wuzz” as they had named him so many years ago. In an instant, the piece shivered and grew to the size of a spindly draconiquis. Spike felt his smile widen as he saw another old friend.

“You didn’t think I would let somepony else pull a disappearing act on me, now did you?” Discord chided. Spike suddenly stood and embraced his friend. Discord reached down with his talon and patted the spines of his friend. “Ah- good to see you too you overgrown lizard.”

“So, you were watching.” Spike grinned as he pulled back. Discord grabbed the third rocker and stretched it comically wide to accommodate his strange length.

“I had special orders from the ruler of Equestria to keep tabs on you.” Discord plucked an ember from the air and placed it on his tongue.

“So, you could’ve helped?” Spike questioned. How could the most powerful being in the universe not step in for something like the Norfandian civil war?

“Not quite, my scaly companion. Twilight made it expressly clear that I couldn’t interfere with politics, especially since my visits were only ever brief and biased. She said things had to resolve themselves naturally so those creatures wouldn’t turn their sights on Equestria once the power struggle was over.”

“Then why did she let me do something?”

Discord popped an eye open at the dragon and brought his arms down from behind his head. “Why, because you had to! In showing Nor- uh, whatchamacallit, that the Equestrian dignitary would fight for their nation, you showed those people the ‘strength of friendship’ or whatever. A dragon ambassador from a pony continent fighting for trolls? I guess Twilight found that to be the best way to show them how powerful friendship is.” Discord fluttered his eyelids in a romantic gesture before dropping his face to the ground in a scowl. “How… quaint.”

Spike was silent. The information he had received sent a new wave of emotions roiling through his chest.

“Twilight… used me.” He sputtered. Discord picked himself back up and shot a weary glance at Big Mac.

“That’s not- exactly how I would put it.” Discord offered.

“No, she absolutely did!” Spike shouted. “She could’ve authorized you, or even just a division of troops at any time to come help. But she didn’t so I could represent a ‘strong Equestria.’ She made me do—” Spike choked up.

“Think of it this way kid, you were the only one who could do it.” Discord offered. Unlike his usual snarky retorts, this one was offered with a sense of genuine sympathy. If the draconiquis had borne witness to glimpses of Spike’s struggles in the continent, he would know somewhat how difficult it had been for the young drake.

“You couldn’t have stopped by to say hello?” Spike whispered out. His face was turned away from the fire and hung, presumably to stop his friends from seeing the tears come from his eyes. Discord placed his hands on the dragon’s shoulders.

“The princess forbade it.” He whispered again.

They were quiet for a moment before Spike spun back towards the fire.

“The princess.” He spat.

“Spike, ah know you’ve got a lot of feelings right now, but—” Big Mac was interrupted by Spike suddenly standing. His stare burned hotter than the flames between them.

“But nothing Mac. She’s—she was my sister. Would you have sent AJ, or Apple Bloom to war for five years, not even offering help?”

Big Mac hesitated. “No.” he whispered.

“I didn’t think so.” Spike sank back down.

“No.” Big Mac spoke louder. Both his friends looked back at him questioningly. “I wouldn’t send them without help, but I would trust Equestria to them. And a new continent. I’d trust the world to them.”

“Without—”

“Yea Spike, without help. I know who they are and what they’re capable of. To me, it sounds like Twilight only trusted you to help those folks out without throwing the rest of the world into chaos.” Big Mac went on.

“Nothing wrong with a bit of that.” Discord snickered. It earned him a reprieving stare from Spike.

Spike could feel the logic of Big Mac’s words sinking into his mind, but the guilt and pain clawed against any feelings of comfort that might set in. “Mac, that doesn’t change that I… killed people.”

Spike expected some type of shock to come from his friends, but neither of them so much as batted an eye.

After a moment of awkward silence, Discord filled the air with suppressed coughs that were clearly trying to cover a giggle. Spike was horrified at the reaction.

“How are you laughing…”

“Spike, my scaly friend, come now. You’re not the only one who’s committed such atrocities.” Discord rubbed his eyes with a smile. Spike was still shocked at the outburst.

“Big Mac, are you seeing this?” Spike gasped.

“Spike, I mean, Discord is right.”

“How.” Spike grit.

“I’ve had to put down my fair share of woodland predators who preyed on our livestock, or foals.”

“That’s hardly the same as killing a sentient person.” Spike folded his arms indignantly.

Now Big Mac was the one who bore a hollow look on his face. It told Spike there was more to his friend than he knew.

“Spike, you don’t know everything.” The stallion hushed.

The firelight provided the only shift in visuals as Spike and Big Mac stared at each other. Their looks were not ones of disrespect, but of understanding. Behind the stallion’s emerald eyes was a fire; Spike had seen it rage very rarely in his life, but he had no doubt his friend would do anything to protect his family. Anything.

“Wealllllllllll,” Discord interrupted with a smile, “we all know how many poor unfortunate souls have met their end at my hands.” Discord tried to break the silence. His friends both looked at him with raised brows and downturned lips. Discord rubbed his neck awkwardly and dodged their eyes. The smile dropped from his face, replaced with somber expression. “There are, many things I regret from before I met Fluttershy.” He spoke knowingly. “Spike, you will always live with regrets. You can’t undo them, but you can move past them.” He brought himself down to Spike’s level.

“But—”

“Especially with a little help, from some old friends.” Discord returned his grin as he swirled his talon around in the air. Suddenly, an old box appeared in his grasp.

“Is now really the time for that?” Spike grimaced.

“I think, now is the perfect time for this.” Big Mac stepped up. He began pushing the hay bale over by the fire, keeping it just far enough away from the flames.

“Spike, you’re too wrapped up in your thoughts. It’s not healthy. Take a break.” Discord pushed his friend towards the hay bale. Spike felt his will crack down as Big Mac began unfolding the board. The old land of Spiketopia rolled out across the surface. The board was huge. It had grown with every campaign they had run as they crafted their own stories and adventures. Parts of the board draped off the ends of the bale. The familiar warm glow of childhood spread through Spike’s chest as he saw his little character placed on a square next to his friend’s.

“Well, maybe just one encounter…”

Author's Note

This is a very, very short update due to the fact I am neglecting my responsibility to writing due to a lot of personal strain. But, I want to get back into it and I miss this and the feedback you all have. I will do my best to make more updates!