Six hours, I’ve sat in my room for six hours now, staring at… well anything. Anything to take my mind away from what I’ve been hearing all day.
First it was Izzy,
“Sometimes I forget you aren’t a unicorn you know! You act just like one!”
Then Pipp,
“You know Sunny you talk just like any Pegasus from zephyr heights! All you’re missing is the wings!”
Then Zipp,
“Sunny you’ve got a better eye for aerodynamics than any earth pony I’ve met!”
They were friendly comments, compliments even, so why am I crying over them?
Izzy meant to say I had an artsy spirit and a good sense of rhythm.
Pipp thought my cadence was light and airy, like I’d lived in the clouds my whole life.
And Zipp simply meant to compliment my skills, I’ve studied aerodynamics my whole life, of course I’m good at it.
But it’s not these remarks that hurt, I know that. It’s what they remind me of that is draining the smile from my face.
It was Sprout, telling me as a filly,
“You’re no earth pony, earth ponies don’t read spell books.”
It was posey, commenting as I walked through town before magic returned,
“You act nothing like an earth pony at all Sunny Starscout, keep your hooves on the ground.”
But most of all it was all the earth ponies, all their little comments here and there.
“Why can’t she just be normal.”
“No earth pony would dream of flying.”
“No earth pony would act like that.”
That’s what is hurting me, it’s what has always been hurting me. And now it’s even worse. With other ponies to compare myself too, I’m starting to see it. My voice *is* light and airy, like a Pegasus. Sure earth ponies are artsy and love music, but my love for poetry is a rarity even among the artists.
And if I told anypony, I’m sure they’d reassure me… but I don’t think they would understand. Izzy is as rhythmically gifted as any unicorn, Pipp and Zipp are the pillars of what Pegasi should be. And Hitch…
Hitch is the epitome of earth ponies. They may as well stick him in the school books as the prefect example of what an earth pony should be.
I want to fit in the way all of them do, but I just don’t.
I’m not afraid of being crafty, or speaking with an airy tone.
I’m afraid I’m losing what it means to be an earth pony at all.
I need to get out of my head, I’m sure I’ll feel better once I get some fresh air right?
I sit up from the rug I’m laying on, and turn around.
“If I go outside I’ll feel better,” I tell myself, “I just need some fresh air and maybe some clover to snack on, then I’ll feel fine.”
So I walk outside, instead of pretty and warm the sun feels harsh and unwelcoming, shining in my eyes and blocking my view as I adjust to the light of the outside world.
I almost forgot how long I’d been inside, but the amount of time it’s taking to be able to see properly is a not so friendly reminder of those six long hours.
I walk up to a small pond in the woods near the brighthouse. My little workshop is this way, but that would just mean more isolation and that’s not what I want right now.
I stare into the water and wipe away my tears.
“I know I’m not normal,” I say to my reflection, “I don’t want to be normal… I just want to be accepted.”
I dug a hoof into the dirt, “it’s not my fault.” I say determinedly, hoping if I act strong that I will be.
“If they don’t want to accept me as I am maybe they don’t deserve to.”
But those words sting to say. They feel so rude, and even if some ponies still look at me with a scowl, I have friends, they accept me.
So what’s my problem? Why can’t I just be content like everypony else? Why can’t I just feel like an earth pony, no matter how I act.
Why am I forgetting what it means to be one…
“Sunny?”
A friendly voice snaps me out of my distress filled daze. It’s Hitch.
“I saw you head this way all alone, you looked upset, I wanted to make sure you were okay,” he says.
Then gently he asks, “are you, okay?”
Every bone in my body is itching to just tell him I’m fine, to not burden him with everything I’ve been thinking, but I can’t.
“No…” I answer quietly.
And instead of asking why, he just sits down beside me.
“You seem so stressed recently,” he says, “every smile is shadowed with this worry, this, doubt, it’s something I’ve never seen from you before…”
It feels like my emotions are taking over, as I nod nearly involuntarily.
“Is something bugging you Sunny,” he asks, eyes soft with genuine worry, “did something happen?”
I shake my head, letting it droop towards the ground, “nothing happened… I’ve just… been thinking,” I say.
He sits for a moment thinking, I can’t tell if I’m worried or hopeful that he might just shrug it off. But that wouldn’t be like Hitch, if a pony has a problem, he’s there to help, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.
“Did somepony say something to you?” He asks, gently digging deeper to discover the root of my distress.
“Not… necessarily,” I say, and that’s mostly true, no pony actually said anything recently, just, some things have reminded me of past encounters.
He sits for a moment more, so deep in thought it’s like I can hear him thinking. Hitch always seems so active on the surface, like somepony who never thinks it through before acting. But deep down he’s one of the most thoughtful ponies I know. Every action, every word he says is thought all the way through before he says it.
He looks deep in thought, but I know he can’t figure this out alone. And maybe in trust of my friend or maybe in desperation for a solution, I decide I’m going to tell him.
“I don’t feel like I’m a very good earth pony…” I say. It’s the briefest way I could get it out, the only way that makes sense without overloading him.
He looks at me, still with pity, but now also with confusion.
“What do you mean by that Sunny?” He asks.
“I…” and for the first time I actually contemplate it, “I’m not sure…” I say honestly, “but I just don’t feel connected to the earth pony I am, and it’s terrifying me.”
Hitch nods, he seems content with this explanation though of course concern still heavily coats his gaze. He thinks for a while longer, then he stands up with a burst of determination.
“Sunny come with me, let’s take a walk,” he says.
And with as confused and distressed as I am at this point I don’t see a reason not to listen.
So I follow him out of the woods as he walks in to town.
“Sunny tell me honestly, what makes an earth pony?” Hitch asks me, and for a moment I’m confused.
“A pony with no wings or horn?” I say.
But Hitch shakes his head, “not what is an earth pony, what makes an earth pony?”
I stare at him confused, but then I begin to understand, “well I don’t know, most earth ponies enjoy nature, and finding connections to it.”
“Okay, well what Earth ponies around are doing that? And how?”
I look around and spot Dahlia, she’s watering some wild flowers.
“Well there’s Dahlia, she’s tending to wild plant life.”
“Okay, great. Who else?”
I look around again, and this time I’m drawn to Sandy as he places stones along the lines of the sea grass.
“Sandy, he’s placing rocks around the sea grass where the crabs live so no pony steps there.”
“Okay good,” Hitch says, “but I don’t see Jazz watering flowers and protecting crabs. What makes her an earth pony?”
“She uses her hooves to help other ponies shine,” I say, “that’s another thing earth ponies do.”
“Okay. Who else is doing that?” He asks.
“Hitch I’m not sure how this is supposed to help.” I say, but he hushes me and repeats the question.
“Who else is doing it Sunny?”
I give in and begin looking around, and the more I look the more I start to realize that I can’t really find many other earth ponies doing it. “I’m not sure…” I reply.
Then hitch places a hoof on my shoulder, “because there is only one thing that makes a pony an earth pony sunny.” He says, and I look at him.
“Earth ponies, from the dawn of time, have used their hearts and their minds, not just their magic, to make the world a better place.” He says, and he looks me in the eyes. “Sunny I can’t think of a pony in Equestria who does that more than you.”
I stare back at him, and then down at my hooves, I hold one up. I’ve never really used my earth pony magic, in fact, I’m not even sure what it is. Every earth pony can grow plants, but there are pieces of our magic that are only us.
I turn my hoof over and stare at the bottom, the rough edges a reminder of the journeys I’ve been on, every nick and scratch is a story of all I’ve done. The heart at the center, though scratched it is beautiful, shifting in the light as I turn my hoof back and forth. I set it back on the ground and stand up, I turn to the setting sun.
“Why would I let them control me?” I wonder aloud, and Hitch stays quiet, “I’ve never listened to them before, why should I now?”
I stare at the sky above, the first stars of twilight appearing. I stare back down at my hoof and lift it in the air, pointing it at the sky.
“I am an earth pony, born to earth pony parents, whose parents were the same. But I am not an earth pony for my blood, I am an earth pony for my soul. Hoof to heart.” I nearly shout the words at the sky. I place my lifted hoof harshly on the ground and all four begin to glow.
In front of me forms a stem, winding up to a flower, that blooms golden in the shape of a star, reaching its petals and leaves to the stars above not the sun.
A shooting star crosses the sky and I feel myself float, I look down at my hooves, each one shines over with a golden glow, and turns pure gold in color. I touch my hooves to the ground once again, as the flower flashes a bright golden glow,
I shield my eyes, and when I look back the flower is gone.
My hooves are no longer glowing, but they remain gold, I turn around to see a small crowd gathered, Hitch at the front, smiling at me.
I stare at him and send a silent thank you. I walk over and hug my friend, and he hugs me back
“An earth pony from my head to my hooves, that’s what I am.”
Hitch smiles and he clears the crowd, he waves goodbye and I stare back up at the sky, a smile in my heart as I walk home.
“I won’t let them get to me, it’s not what’s right, I’m an earth pony, hoof to heart, in my soul.”
And I smile, and walk home, all that hurt lifted from by heart.
Finally at peace, I am an earth pony, and not a thing that anypony says can change that.
