Screw the rules, I have an Alicorn!

by TrollestiaSubject

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Sad, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Sex, Random, Discord
Length: 6494

A poorodi, crossover of fanfics, clopfics, and at least 1 thing that's actually new (I hope so).

A parody story, a crossover story, a funny story, and a cloppy story (or 6, actually maybe more, or less taking into consideration threesomes and such).

A second person narrated poorodi, crossovers of fanfics, clopfics, a main character that could be a woman or a griffin all along, at least 1 thing that's actually new (I hope so), a Q-ish-esque voice narrating, outtsels, french rats, and with the immortality serum of Baccano!

This story is so bad no one should read it.
Actually that's a hook for you to go in and read it, but I warn you, I’m 23, no university, I never wrote something before, and I’m not even natural English speaker.

I just write this cuz a user page without a story is kinda sad.
It's not a trollfic, in fact it's all (or most) ideas I’ve had since I watch the show, it’s not mean to be sad, funny or cloppy, but a mix of all these things. Or anything at all depending on how critical you get with this.

Parody histories containing ideas from:
My Little Dashie by ROBCakeran53 (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/1888/My-Little-Dashie)
Banned From Equestria (Daily) (http://mlpfanart.wikia.com/wiki/Banned_From_Equestria_%28Daily%29),
Study of the Mind Delve by JakeHeritaguit and its Silent Ponyville (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/14864/Study-of-the-Mind-Delve)
Twilight Attempts a Fapfic by SwiperTheFox (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/27563/Twilight-Attempts-a-Fapfic)
Jack/Off by One Terrible Writer (http://www.fimfiction.net/story/11055/Jack-Off)
and all these HiE stories around (http://www.fimfiction.net/user/TAW)
and my random imaginary stories within the show, so sorry if anyone get offended, and sorry ahead for my weird English, I never took English composition class.

Image thanks to TehJadeh http://tehjadeh.deviantart.com/art/This-is-definitely-canon-281369209

Tagged Mature for sex, it doesn't involve gore. neither a lot of sex actually, but i wanna c at least 1 harem scene.

:Q harem... (i'm not putting it, i just would want to c 1)

Actually it's more for the language and suggestive situations than explicit scenes, dunno maybe it's Teen rated, if anyone would like to give me hints about that, they could be well appreciated.

Is a human self inserted character an original character anymore?
cuz "it"'ll be fired like for chapter 5 for rule of funny here anyways
should I said everypony always here in this site?
did anyone actually read cupcakes? for real? you monster.

Published 2012-09-27 22:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-27 22:54:01 UTC

My little Celestie

This history is told from a second person view.
But u can totally not be the one acting the story if u don’t want to.
Any similarities with other stories aren’t merely coincidental.

……………………………….

You are.. well, u know who you are, just in case your life is too exciting to have in mind all the achievements in your real life before a crappy second person view story begins, let's first make u a complete loser, and enlist just a few for this character not to be too complicated to follow.

1.-You are a complete loser (this is the most important fact or the rest of the story doesn’t make sense).
2.-you are in your normal world, so u don’t start right in Equestria.
3.-you are 2X years old, and you don't have a lot of real good friends or close family, so there the story doesn’t have a lot of human characters for the sake of a pony fanfic
4.- etc, etc…

But since the moderators of this site can actually think I’m not posting a real story and for they to just don’t delete it, let’s say you work repairing refrigerators and you live in the basement of your mother’s house (you can actually be a girl if you want to, but I warn you, you’ll magically grow a penis later and without warning, so be prepared).

(dang, I’m so low in words yet to make this chapter 1, rules say at least 1000, let’s keep going)

Well then, you started to see “My little pony: Friendship Is Magic” T.V. show, for reasons you only know, maybe you saw a big graffiti of Rainbow Dash everyday not in your way to work because you work in home in this story, or found out some memes in internet about it and you thought they were pretty clever, or you could be acting as a girl on the Internet and had no more remedy than actually watch that show to make your history more likely, in any given case, you watch it, (I know you do, I can read your mind, you have a Castlevania SotN file in your memory stick too).

And at the beginning you were like “Mehhh… I hate the song”. But at the end you actually thought “Well, I learned a lesson about friendship I saw when I was 4 years old from another kids show, but I actually liked this cartoon”.

Then you started to spend your free time watching less porn and more ponies in your P.C. (because we all know Princess Celestia is better than Mac Apples, and if you didn’t knew, you should realize over that fact just here, right now). So you started to feel a healthy benefit on doing so, plus an exhilarating rise in your daily laughs just from watching small funny memes and well-made parodies about ponies (I would like to include bad parodies over here, but at this point you already did leave, or know where this is going).

Then one night, you stood pretty late watching pony related stuff in your PC, you found out a forum discussion earlier about why older people like the show, it was long and serious, at the point you almost subscribe to that forum to post a picture of distressed twilight sparkle flagging “I did read it all” but the last comment was recent so you didn’t want to kill the mod and went to bed for good.

Next morning you wake up in a jump from hearing how is the door being knocked. It scares the hell out of you cuz you’re not mainly a morning person, probably someone brings a refrigerator for you to repair (or whatever your work was) and you clean first in a flash before open the garage door and let other people see how you live (Oh wait, you were living in the basement, well. You sleep in the garage now. Ok?) Anyway, you hide the shameful mattress where you sleep and open the garage door.

You check up around and in the distance but don’t find anyone outside and curse in your mind to whoever did wake you up early for nothing, sighing you low your head and found out something very shiny and colorful, your first thought is a “How cute!” but then you fight back you sleepy head and give “that” a second sight.

It’s about the size of an average dog, colorful and shiny you think again, now you can add cute to it too, it’s not totally unfamiliar, you already know what it is, you just don’t wanna say it to yourself, you rather go at a psychiatric asylum right now, you watch its little mane floating with an improbable invisible soft air, and u realize it’s not by any mean an optical illusion dawned in the floor, it looks young, very, very young, compared to the one you have seen in the show, its features are the ones of a little filly, you are a grown up and make a quick calculation over having a similar size at the probable same age.

After thinking over the ludicrous of your calculation, you close the door with a grin in your face totally objecting that it’s impossible to yourself. But just after closing you noted certain disappointment in its face, you don’t really care because you never had a pet before or maybe you killed them all (accidentally of course) and that was so traumatic that you mind blocked all these childhood memories, in any case you see that sad face over and over again in your mind for like 3 second that seems to be dilated into a lot more, so you hurriedly open that door again consumed in regret and fear of not find that there again.

The door finally opens and your heart breaks when you look at the left and to the right without spot anything unusual, then you keep inspecting at the distance around but can’t find out that shiny white coat and colorful living mane again, you sigh at your bad luck closing your eyes and letting you head hang low, actually buying that it all was a bad dream, it could’ve been a nice one but you totally blew it up.

Suddenly you remember that you had to look down the last time you found it, so you just open your eyes and that is there, sitting just below you, somehow smiling.

You keep there for a while expecting for it to banish, or someone jumping from over a bush saying it was a joke or something, but suddenly you realize that you don’t have enough friends to play you a joke like this, and specting closely “That” wasn’t some kind of dressed dog either. So u say “what the hell, if it were here to ate me it had done it already”. So you motion it with your hand to come in while you walk inside, and its smile seems to grow somehow bigger now, actually looking like a real smile now.

You dive into the fridge look for some carrots or something that looks like horse food you fail finding anything like that (you’re kinda like a carnivore in this story, it’s not the second chapter yet, but let’s start to infuse some personality into you, ok?).

It seems to watch everything around the place very curiously with an expression pinpointing from confusion to surprise, you end giving it a slice of bread which is eaten in not a very hungrily way, as you keep questioning it, about what it is, and any good question you can make ever there yourself.
(I'm having a Déjà vu rite now, I just wanted to let you know)

It doesn’t seems to speak like in the cartoon, so you give thanks to the TV to show you something useless again.

You lift it to place it in the table and serve it a little more of bread and milk in a jug, you notice how it’s not particularly hot or cold, and how soft it is, like silk, not actually fur of any kind, you can’t feel either the invisible wind moving its mane, it sits and somehow grabs the bread with a hoofs and lifts the jug with both legs, it’s a little scary to watch it using its legs like arms, completely white coat, and its expressive big blue eyes as it keeps looking around and at you in a somehow wondrous way that reflect perfectly your same expression without you to notice. you hold its hoof and notice how its more like a thick white nail, slightly flexible, covering ¾ of its extremity and a small bone in the back of it inside its leg that somehow can grab object. With the mistery solved, maybe the more scary thing is that it’s over your table, for some reason you start to think about some polls you saw at some internet forums, at this point you can sell it on ebay, but doesn’t matter how much money u can get, you found much more batter having it, at least for now. You can make cupcakes with it, which the solely idea disgust you profusely, or you can rape it as many people claim will do if they just wake up with something like this next to them, you for some reason check out quickly for it to be a mare, throwing a quick glance between its legs, since you don’t spot anything suspicious you assume everything is alright, then you realize that you are just assuming and since colt in the show doesn't show anything down there you get out of rape mood immediately and trash the idea (besides something like that could turn into a grim, dark or sad story, and I say you don’t like these stories).

you touch the tip of her horn but it instinctively take your hand off with a free hoof, you try to open its wings too and you found them to be rather weak and thin fathered, it seems to hurt it a little since pull on them provokes an unpleasant expression on its face. Doesn't try to take your hand off more likely for not know you’re the one pulling its wing, or actually having acknowledge of such body parts provoking that feeling, in any case you let that pull itself into place by its own convinced that they will grow stronger with time, you try to hold its colored mane too, but it’s so soft you aren't pretty much convinced of be holding anything if you weren’t seeing it between your fingers, even under your grasp it keeps billowing by its own mysterious way, it smells like flower’s field, a sunny spring day, a grassy field after a light rain, or something nice like that, maybe just to bunny if you ever had smelled a bunny before.

You ask a couple of easy things expecting for it to answer, but it doesn’t seem to understand you, you think it probably speak another language judging by the human gestures it’s capable of, and so you start saying hello in as many languages you know waving your hand, it starts to wave its hoof back to you with a utterly confused expression.

Suddenly it repeats any of your greetings and you fall on you back at the realization it can speak, its voice is like the one of a random filly you could heard in the show and not a younger version of its normal voice within it, you think hastily while lay on the floor.

it open its eyes grinning later to your reaction, and when you see that you can’t actually blame it.
Then you repeat your name (which is not kyle, definitely not kyle, choose some other) touching your chest like expressing you are speak about yourself and hoping it had seen a Tarzan movie.
It suddenly grows sad and its mane start to wave at a slower pace, hangs its head low and sighing deeply, you just found out that it doesn’t seems to know its own name, which is pretty weird for you since you know it already somehow.

And since you realize you can’t keep it calling it “IT” you just say “Celestie” (cuz she still small and seems to be way younger than the one in the show) touching its little like shoulders on it, and she smiles back to you repeating what it now gets as its own name.

Suddenly your mom enter the kitchen while you’re having a happy moment with a mythological improbable being, you shit out your pants thinking in what she will think about you feeding a little pony, but she doesn’t seems to see it, so you keep it cool, wondering if she doesn’t saw it or didn’t care, maybe you’re hallucinating the whole thing, or everyone in the world knew cartoon ponies are real but you, when you look back to Celestie she has a rather suspicious sight in her eyes, as if she just doesn’t like your mom and stays very quiet until you’re alone in the kitchen again, trying not to make any noise, lifting the bread or jug and even almost stopping its affluent mane, just as your mom (or dad, brother or sister, whoever in your family you want, it’s not cannon for the story, it’s a self-insert story, I wanna give readers freedom) goes out the room your new, out of package (figuratively, she probably didn’t fall off from a package in first place) little Celestia starts again to breath out of stealth mode and eat again, she’s a slow eater (insert joke about metal gear 3 here), but surely needed it.

So ok, whatever, you find out she can be invisible for anyone she wants (or everyone except you actually, I just want to skip the scenes showing the experiments with the results I just told you now) and that she’s totally vegetarian (which is not a plot twist in the story, haha, plot, u get it? Plot Twist… nvm v_v; )

To Be Continued....

Raising Celestie

Your Little Celestie has learned nouns at a very fast rate, as these genius babies you saw once on TV and you thought they were all made up inventions for a reality show (they were used to be called documentaries not long time ago, did u know that?). You end up buying a lot more of veggies too, in fact that actually has more healty repercussions in yourself since an increase of fiber in your diet can’t be bad at all for you (or anyone), in the other hand (HANDS!, you should appreciate to find that expression again while reading a story from this site) you find amazing the rate at which she seems to grow up, and how clever she can be, I mean, at the beginning you tried to walk her off at mornings and evenings (because as soon as the sun is set she falls asleep), but she gave you a weird sight and preferred to simple use the bathroom, she washes her hoofs and all, and since she’s around you are doing all you can to keep your floor cleaner (so pretty much you’re a better person if only having a pet around, you see?)..

She’s an early waker, and that’s a little annoying for you, but since the whole situation is very interesting you can’t complain, she doesn't like coffee so her morning beverage is only hot milk with sugar (cuz you don't actually have a selection of early beverages, for you is coffee or nothing). Wondering about the nutritional value she finds living with you, somehow you hope the holt milk contrarrest the sugar rush such drink could ignite in her, luckily for you seems like colorful ponies living from a sugar rush are only a myth once more (or less, you just don't know anymore).

So your days go more or less in explain words to her, teach her on how repair refrigerators, watch old unaired tv show, like Animaniacs or Tiny Toons in the computer, and act like not talking alone, luckily for you she gets, instinctively maybe, pretty sleepy as soon as the sun comes down.

You aren’t very sure about show her a lot of TV by the fear of she finding out a cartoon full of ponies like her, or kinda like her, you are surely telling her about it, but in an age in which seems to have a little more knowledge about herself and her feelings (or maybe you’re just making up excuses), you just don't wanna screw her young mind with this now, and plus to all that, you don't wanna end in the moon by mistake when she starts to play with that horn of hers, you don't know how much of a demi-goddess like portrayed in the show she is, but she surely will try to find out as soon as she can.

Actually you’re starting to feel like this all is a big coincidence, after all her coat is full white and there can’t be such a thing like instantly puberty thanks to a cutie mark, in any case if that even happens it won't be the same since the sun doesn't need to be lifted manually here.

That night you dreamed about anyone somehow lifting the sun everyday, not a single person knew him before, but in fact the sun, as illogical as it seems, need to be lifted in your world too. you wake up finding that you shited your pants, again, so it wasn’t a very pleasant night.

Time passes and the world spins. Is easy now for you to have a complete conversation now, and she tells you that she did know the meaning of words but that she didn’t knew a sound to refer to them in her thoughts, which is an idea that runs in circles around of you cuz you can’t catch up, but you don’t wanna look like an idiot in front of her, so you keep on teaching her more complex words like “meaning” and “unexplainable”.

When you ask again about it, she told you that a bring light in front of your door was the way that the world was created, but you kinda suspect there was a little more before that, so noticing her completely clueless about her origin you drop out inquiring her with that, you have now that other doubt in how she can keep invisible around other people since her horn isn’t even glowing at all, and if there’s more ponies like her doing that, keeping themselves invisibles from you, but there’s nothing like that from what she can see, in fact these questions are what seems to show her how different she is from you.

By this time you try to explain her the world in the better way you can, actually you’re impressed for how well she does to understand complicated matters like wars over history based in motivations and feelings, you didn’t caught things like that until middle school or so, in any case she doesn't get bored with your dull stories either, is hard to tell if she does see the differences from a mythological tale, bedtime tales, or real history (of which you don't know a lot, but you pay your internet bill, so you can play to be the wise guy about it anyway), but you start doubting that line yourself considering who are you telling them.

Her wings seems to have a lot more of feathers lately, and she even moves them now, just a little in its place, never opens them, doesn't seem to be fully aware of what they are, but is fully conscious of them being there, even her horn looks a bit larger now, and her legs are starting to get higher and slimmer lately, it’s just impossible for her to walk with just two legs, but, without count her horn, she can almost reach your chest in her non-straight almost-human standing pose.

Very early you found out that she likes things like fruit, juice, milk, cereals, cookies or bread, and sugary stuff, but she can’t stand things like meat or its smell when grilling it, smell that otherwise you find fascinating, in exchange she can eat thing like grass, or flowers (the ones from neighbors’ backyards seems especially appealing to her). One day you found her in front of the bathroom mirror, standing in her hind legs, leaning on the sink, she was holding something white in her hoof, she didn’t seem to be scared at all but as soon you figured out what that was you shited your pants back, again, which doesn't seems to be unlikely of you, but giving a near inspection to her mouth (you changed your pants first, and washed thoughtfully your hands first) you found a new tooth was growing back in place of the lost one, and even new ones growing deeper in her mouth, after asking google about it, that seemed to be normal at least for a common pony, but since then you have teached her to brush her teeth, which isn't easy for her with hoofs so you help her sometimes, and, since she asked by watching you in the computer, to read.

So you’re now “teaching” her to read, a little worried of what she can find on internet, in any case she seems to be a prodigious memory because as soon as you teach her a letter she learns it, so in your first day she can now read her name and yours without problems, along with some other words containing most of these same letters.

She has too what seems to be an excellent metabolism alongside to her wonderful memory, you aren’t really sure of how fast a dog grows up you can bet your Celestie beats any dog growing up, in a fact of months she is the size of you when you were a kid. She keeps herself invisible to other people, but she is surprisingly light, so the feeling of her weight rarely is noticed by anyone, and even if, it’s discarded immediately as a mistake, and her slender body doesn't seems to pull a lot of air alongside with it either, and as time passes it’s only growing more and more aerodynamic, her hoofs aren’t solid at all either, they have a consistency of a very hard sponge even if they don't look porous at all, she can’t avoid walking with them, even if the middle and back part of her hooves still plain skin, but can walk without make any noise, and even if your house seems to be haunted sometimes, you start singing in home, or start acting like talking over your cellphone (even if you don't have anyone to talk over with it, or have a cellphone at all) as soon someone finds you speaking “alone”, and sometimes when you weren’t doing a noise before, she start mocking you humming the animaniacs’ song, or any other she has in mind, and even if that lets you as a very good hummer because she actually is good humming songs, you get very nervous of anyone finding about her, and you don't even know why, so you even move like dancing a little in your place too look like the one singing, one bad day she’ll forget she can be heard and she’s gonna say something like... dunno, something like “that stupid human can’t even see me” or something, and everything will be ruined from there on. but what do you know, she’s way smarter than you.

She claims that she can see, by looking at the eyes for a moment, if a person is trustworthy to let her be watched herself, but most of these people will sell her on ebay, or will open her “for science!” (actually you find the rape rate kinda low after your spectatives), even people that could keep her secret, could always treat her as an inferior being (thing that you could never do or believe since you know she’s way smarter than you, and that she’s probably a demi-goddess from another dimension)

Each passing day you feel her mentally more like a peer than a little filly, she can read pretty well now and even you can ask her about spelling being certain that she will know better than you, she’d read a site with all these spelling rules, and even if you don't let her alone in the computer arguing it’s not a device for someone without fingers, you let her be, trusting in her since her mind seems to be developing just as fast as her height. You gave her the best things you could think to read already starting with “The Little Prince“ by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry at which she cried a lot at the end, and started to inquiring you about a lot of things like death and such, questions to which you didn't have an answer, so you let her read “The Sandman” by Neil Gaiman, “Buddhist Teaching About Love And Tolerance” by Buddha most probably, and “And Then There Were None” by Agatha Christie, maybe you aren't a “books person” since one of these is a comic, but you think that they all are good answers for someone so smart like her, and that has lived so shortly.

Then that’s that terrible moment.
In which you talk to her
About You-Know-What
My Little Pony TV cartoon
(You aren’t expecting to fuck her, right? thats until chapter 3, you freaking monster, she’s like your daughter, I hope she rapes you rawly with her horn for you to learn a lession)

So you pretty much sit down and watch the cartoon, at the beginning she was like “oh... LOOK!, LOOK! SHE’S LIKE ME!” when she sees a purple pony in an air balloon, fact that you find kinda amazing since twilight is pretty purple, and she’s pretty white (you’re kinda racist in this history, had i told you before?), anyways it keeps on but then she heard that song and thought that was some kind of bad sync, or a joke when you told her that that’s the normal way the song sounds.

so you started with the first 2 chapters, at the beginning she doesn't give a lot of attention as she’s just happy watching somebody that looks like her (did you notice that I didn't say somepony? i'm kinda regretting that I didn't say somepony there), but at the end her jaw dropped when she sees something that really looked like her, fully decorated with golden horseshoes, jewelry necklace, and a crown, and was named “after” she (she thought) “I’m like her” she told you not very enthusiastically. At the end she just look at you hoofing her cheek, and mostly in doubt.

In that moment you knew she was going to make you pay for not telling her about this before, or somehow she’s gonna try to control the sun from now on, and she’s gonna break it for sure (not that she breaks a lot of things since she is here, but that’s the reason why her first broken thing as to be an epic broke), or maybe she’ll start taking over the world now, you have no way of imagining what crazy thoughts cross the mind of somepony that just found out is a goddess.

All she says is “Don’t you think one hundred years is too much?”...

So ok, that night is the first time you actually see her doing something at night, even if this is just watch a show in your PC, she seems tired but you can’t blame her, you think she can't help it, she just want to know more about her peers. Luckily she doesn't seems to identify herself with the Celestia in the show so she’s not like bragging about being a princess, an immortal, or a goddess.

Not very later after, she's snoring profusely in your chair, she used to sleep there when she was small, but she’s too big for it now, you cares her wings and pull out one of them, they feel much more stronger from the last time you did this same thing, she moves the head and says something intelligible about a sister, you kinda suspect she’s dreaming about her world, or the world in the cartoon at least, so you stop mess with her wings anymore to let her sleep, she seems to be very sensitive with that part of her body.

A couple of blankets always were a good place for her to sleep, she never complained before, each night you sleep right in the floor too, in a mattress you tend everynight, in that lonely garage not so lonely since she is around, this night you tend your mattress for her, you pick her up almost effortlessly since she’s incredibly light, and you sleep over the hard floor with just a couple of blankets under you that night, strangely hopeful of doing a good job raising her.

To Be continued...

Spicy Cupcakes

In a couple more of months she’s the size of you in your early teenager ages, and slightly taller than you if standing in her hind legs, far taller if you take her horn into consideration, still most of her high comes from her legs, which are now long and sylphlike. All her teeth had grown by now and they all are like healty white pearls, she can open her wings too, even flap them, she started not doing a lot of wind or sound by that, but by now you two go out mornings and afternoons for a park walk where she can flaps everything she wants (you miss a lot of clients by doing that, your business was open 24/7 before, but what the hell, you want a flying Alicorn), she still clumsy with them so the exercise will be good for her, hiding between people isn’t very difficult now, even if her tail or mane touch accidentally someone, they are so soft that most people thinks it’s just the wind, or doesn't even care at all, besides, she can now hide her own voice to other people (eat your camo suit Snake), she has improved using magic since she saw the show, it kinda gave her ideas of what for is her horn, you knew she could do magic since she was invisible to other people, but you never saw her horn glowing before.

When she was looking FiM for first time she was all like “If I had a little sister I could never treat her in a meany way, I wish I had a sister, I want a sister” and stuff out of your hand like that, in any case she ended watching the show the very next day and she was kinda disappointed in how little screen time had the sister of “that” Celestia had been.

(I dunno why i'm writing this in english v_v )

(oh... yeah... rules... )

She doesn't seem to see herself like the Celestia in the show, more or less by the same concept of cutie marks than you had thought before. Her coat was fully white and she wasn’t a fan of tattoos in rear parts, in the other hoof (and i’m saying hoof here cuz it was an idea she discerned herself) they showed unicorns glowing their horns and lifting small objects so she keep trying that until her horn glowed swiftly and could move a slight nearby object for a moment.

From that moment on she has been practicing and she can move a lot of stuff just like in the show, she can lift her food, brush her teeth by herself fully now, write using a pen (her hornwriting is surprisingly not a stylish cursive but a standard separated mold print, it stills somehow stylish compared to your anyways), use the keyboard of your computer where she usually stays now that she can stay awake a little longer after sunsets, and even new things by herself that you never did for her before, like brushing her mane, or take a thoughtful shower, u even catched her one day in the bathroom under the shower, happily doing something like a shoulders dance while magically passing a towel between her legs when standing in her hind legs and humming some tune with her eyes closed and kinda smiling, you frozen back in that moment at the weird sight in front of you, when she found you were there, she jumped back a little in surprise going back to stand in four, and you just went out saying sorry, of course you had been always respectful with her, given her as many space as she could ever need, and never really touched her “there” (i'm talking about between her legs, don't play you don't know where) or gave that place a closer inspection, the thing is that you didn't find attractive at all a wordless little filly either, and even if you could not rape a pony like it’s said around picture forums as a joke (or are pony thread simulators a made up joke for youtube? i'm not really in mood to find out myself), you were afraid of frighten her, after all she was your guest, and she’s a wonderful acquaintance even if you just lost your mind some months ago and it all is just in your mind, and after all she probably will leave after being able to fly, still maybe she could pass by sometimes, to say hello, or if she’s missing cable TV.

When you walk outside you find rather worrying how she can stare to the sun, you told her not to do that, when she ask why, you made up something like she ruining her sight in later years, but the true is that you still afraid of she doing something weird with it, then she, like if could hear your thoughts, says that she won’t control it, telekinesis has a distance range as a weight limit and the sun is by far over such limits at top of everything else, now you keep walking alongside her just worried of how does she know that the sun is top limit of every category. You try to distract her showing her the park, the mall, and even the movies theatre, she can hide her own voice, but not her hoofsteps or the sound of her wings, luckily she’s a softwalker (and she knows it because she likes to scare you when you’re reading stuff in your computer, or so she thinks cuz u were really watching porn), and she doesn't open her wings inside buildings.

Buy groceries with her is kinda complicated cuz she doesnt like the same things than you do, so she usually sneak on you vegetarian food into the shopping cart, she doesn't even like cheese or yogurt, so you end buying lots of bread and ham, but they rarely are finished at the same time, her new favorite are muffins since she saw them in the show, so her hard candy consumption lowered accordingly to a natural change of tastes, liking each time less the sugary items she used to eat, and since she can go to the supermarket with you, read and ask about stuff right there and such, she can by herself think in what she could like, and turns out that she likes stuff like pasta, tea, pop-tarts, and some other stuff less expensive so she just throw it off into the shopping cart without asking. Something funny happened while you shopping groceries, she found out that she can see things from far away, (it’s like a Tele-Vision skill, just that, you know, magical, and personal) so she started to foresee products in the next aisle, but since she was probably cheating with that, you dare her to bet into guess into people clothes and such, so that day you ended paying for a lot of vegetarian food you would never touch (and thats pretty funny to me, i don't know you, but i'm laughing my pants off at you).

One day you have the opportunity of stay in home alone (yeah, like in that movie with the blonde kid, just that it’s not x-mas season, but... actually a couple of goofy thieves could be a nice touch since she can now move things and hit them practically out of nowhere). She half closes her eyes right to you, and give you a sultry smile, you grow nervously and let out a couple of sweat drops out of your left temple, she keeps grining to you and say “let’s do cupcakes”. After imagining a couple of weird sexual positions you realize she’s talking about bakery, think that helps you expel a laugh while she just nod at you with a sharky smile in her face.

She totally took the idea from the show, of course it seemed like a tasty idea, bake cupcakes isn’t very much like you, and she couldn’t be dropping her cover just for bakery either, but she does most of the job and you’re like her assistant, of course you are proud of your hands but she has telekinesis so.. you’re not a great assistant you know, don't feel bad, she feels good at having an espectador, but you aren’t winning an “assistant of the year” price or anything.

At the end you both realize you don't have a lot out of a frosting so you try different things out, later on she is using hot sauce like Pinky Pie did in the show, and you know what? that was freaking tasty, of course it could taste better with some meat inside, ham, pepperoni, or maybe cheese, but since Celestie doesn't like these ingredients she dares you to eat them like that, so you ate and ate and you finished all the chilly sauce, and looking what else to add as frost Celestie tells you about a jar with guatemalan insanity peppers very deep is a drawer, and you were like “No, sorry, i’m not gonna eat that” and she was like “Forget you I can eat all this guatemalan insanity peppers”, so she puts them in the muffins and ate all of them, you tought she was going to fall in coma or have a mystical experience inside her consciousness, but she just ran silly around the room for a couple of minutes and then her flank shined and she earned a cutie mark, a big orange flaming sun, cuz chillies are spicy, and spicy is hot.

To Be Continued.....

Next chapter: Between a cloud and a soft place.