Smolder found herself running out of the School of Friendship, tears flying from her eyes as she took to the sky as soon as she made it out of the building. She knew while the others kept back, there would be one single creature who wouldn’t waver. Wouldn’t give up, and that ripped at her heart like a knife. But everything that the ponies of Ponyville thought of her was staring her back in the face. Why in the love of Equestria did she think that all of ponykind would accept her with open hooves? Why did she think it would play out like the stories made her believe they would? That even if an angry alicorn trapped on the moon could eventually be accepted by Equestria, why couldn’t she?
Smolder felt a whole new wave of tears falling from her face as she flew past Ponyville, not quite sure where she was going, but confident enough in the answer to most of her questions. Why the ponies were happy to accept the griffons, the hippogriffs, the changelings, even the yaks that destroyed their property. The griffons and changelings made a lot of changes as a race before the ponies decided that they were worthy of love, the friendship they claimed to freely give. And the hippogriffs and yaks, while not without their flaws, still had big hearts and meant well.
But there was nothing to give for the dragons, the beasts with hearts and voices as strong as their fire. She could see it in their faces as she blew fire towards the group of mares at what was supposed to be a peaceful Hearth’s Warming Eve party. But even as she could rattle off the reasons why they absolutely deserved the anger she gave, it wouldn’t change the gasps of everyone around her. Even her dearest friends looked at her as if they didn’t know her, the trembling and quiet fear that came from them enough to stab her heart far more than those mares could with their words. And then she took off before Ocellus could even react. She couldn’t bring herself to look at her bugfriend’s face, but doubted that the changeling was flattered by the dragoness standing up for her.
She flew over the forest, not knowing or caring which forest it was, when she inhaled and bellowed loud enough to shake the trees and cause hundreds of birds to take off to the skies. The fire in her heart only ignited further, even the birds feared her! There was a time where the fear in the eyes of others brought an excitement to her veins, but now that she got to experience the tenderness of friendship, the comfort of Ocellus cuddling beside her every night, and the laughter she shared with her friends, Smolder could only feel her fire spiraling out of control as she found every creature around her feared her when push came to shove.
That every creature in the collective School of Friendship…felt burdened by her. That the drive to connect and bond was fractured by her dragon fire, that all of them were better off without her. But even with how much she has grown and changed from the creatures around her, there was no losing the parts of her that made her a dragon. But surely it was better to puff her chest and fight for those she loves? Surely it was better to use that fire for good?
Then why did she still feel shattered inside?
“Smolder!” Smolder gasped as she heard a voice from far away, not even bothering to look behind her to know who it was. Zooming past the trees, Smolder flew as fast as she could as even the trees disappeared, leaving her with nothing but the endless expansion of the ocean. There was no end to the water, but Smolder didn’t care, noticing several rocks within sight. Landing on one of the flatter rocks, Smolder buried her face in her arms, sobbing for a few moments before she got up and roared again. But this time, there were no creatures to take off from her. The water only rippled briefly before returning to its normal waves.
But then, Smolder noticed another dragon flying towards her. She got up, not screaming at the dragon. After all, the familiarity of another creature who understood her was just what she needed…then she noticed the dragoness’ artic blue scales as she flew closer to Smolder, her bright cyan eyes a dead giveaway as to who was landing on the rock beside her.
“Ocellus?!” Smolder looked up, noticing her bug-turned-dragon lover took a form that was a foot taller than her. “But…why are you a-”
“I’m really sorry, but I didn’t know what else to do,” Ocellus gave a very undragonlike squeak as she hid her face behind her tail. “You were refusing to talk to me, and I k-know there’s no dragons in Ponyville besides Spike. And if we’re being honest, Spike doesn’t really count.”
“No, he doesn’t,” Smolder groaned, pressing her head against Ocellus’ chest. “Ocellus, you know you don’t need to be any other form for me to love you.”
“I know that,” Ocellus removed her tail away from her face, taking the opportunity to gently wrap her tail around Smolder’s form as she embraced her dragonfriend. “I just wanted to show you that…I really admired what you did back there. Those mares were bullying the both of us, causing us dykes…one of them even got in my face! I’m surprised you didn’t fire up sooner, quite literally. Smolder, you do realize that our friends were just surprised right? They completely understand why you did it.”
“I really want to love being a dragon,” Smolder explained. “That fire is what keeps anyone from stepping on me, but I c-can’t help but wonder if you guys…secretly hate me? And before you say anything, I know how much you love me. You never fail to show me that everyday, but I can’t help but wonder if each day, with each time we bicker, or I blow up, you start to feel trapped with me. That the love we have together is hurting you instead of helping you. And it just makes me feel more selfish, like I have my claws in a creature that deserves someone more agreeable. Someone that is calm like the ocean below us instead of destructive like my fire. And being a dragon, Ocellus, is something that’ll never change. I’ll always have this fire, whether I use it for good or bad. I just don’t want you to get burned in the process. Please, don’t stay if you’re not happy anymore. I don’t want to see you lose what makes you special to me. I don’t think I could forgive myself, and you deserve so much better.”
“Are you done yet?” Ocellus said after Smolder finished. “Do you really think I’d still be with you if I wasn’t happy?”
“Sometimes, you seem less happy than before,” Smolder muttered.
“I’m obviously not going to be smiling when you are blowing up,” Ocellus explained. “But I knew what I signed up for, didn’t I? Even if it hurts sometimes, there’s something beautiful about the fire you show for those you love. You’ve become a far better dragon than most, but that never should mean you give up what makes you you. We love you, Smolder. Please, come back with us?”
Smolder looked up at Ocellus’ teary eyes staring down at her, her wide smile not even wavering despite Smolder’s prior words. Smolder knew that she would’ve too easily accepted a brute back at the Dragon Lands, one that would’ve shut her down and used her like an object. It would’ve felt like poetic justice in her heart, so why in Equestria did she end up with the soft and gentle Ocellus instead? Even if her patience faltered at times, she was still a far cry from the drakes that Smolder was used to. The roaring anger, the waterfall of tears, and the instinct to fly away that screamed in every cell of body came from something far darker than anything Ocellus could’ve ever done in the worst of their arguments.
It came from her sinking feeling of unworthiness, that everything she’d done before friendship was bestowed to her made her the monster that gossiping ponies said she was. The fact that she had many friends and even a romantic partner that cared whether she lived or died ended up either being the best thing to ever happen to her, or the worst. There was no in between, and it was always a matter of time before she got to experience the latter. The pain of having others close to her, and sometimes she wondered if she’d always have that longing of being alone. Of having no one worried about her, only herself to be happy or angry with. But it still didn’t hold a candle to what it felt like to spoon Ocellus, laugh with her about something so trivial, or be in the fire of passion with her. And despite the scathing insults those mares made about their relationship, Smolder wouldn’t fly off again. She wouldn’t let anyone’s reactions stop her from being her.
“Y-Yes, I’ll come back,” Smolder took a deep breath, before slowly grinning and revealing her sharp teeth. “Do y-you think you’ll come back to the party in that form? Those ponies are probably in Headmare Starlight’s room, why don’t we give them a little scare?”
“I’d be disappointed if we didn’t,” Ocellus giggled, changing back to her original changeling form in that moment as she pressed her head against Smolder’s chest. “Promise me you won’t run away again? I may not be a dragon, but you know I’ll move mountains to make sure you’re happy. And that makes me happy, so you better not protest, you goof.”
“Okay, I promise,” Smolder nodded, wiping the last of her tears away from her eyes as she gently cupped Ocellus’ face with her claws, bringing Ocellus’ face up to hers before kissing the changeling. Feeling the fire in her heart changing from the anger of a roaring wildfire to a warm campfire, Smolder relaxed into Ocellus as she reminded herself that her dragon fire was loved and not hated. If it was something she had to remind herself everyday, so be it.
Smolder and Ocellus parted their kiss, and flew back together towards Ponyville, the fire in both their hearts carrying them home.
