How To Safely Play With Fire
Bing-ding-ding-ding!
The bell of Sugar Cube Corner jingled as the door to the bakery opened and closed.
Spike, in his wooly hat and soft scarf, walked into the main foyer.
“Pinkie!” He called out, hoping that his voice carried to the kitchen.
“I’ve come to pick up my order of 500 gem cupcakes!”
…
His answer was silence throughout the whole store. Spike raised an eyebrow. He did not even smell the sweet smell of bread and cake that would usually be wafting through the air at the time of Hearth’s Warming. He could hear a pin drop – not even the sound of clattering pots and pans being retrieved from cupboards or shuffled into the ovens – not even the sound of Pinkie’s constant bouncing, humming, or talking to herself and/or Gummy and the Twins.
This was confusing, as the cupcakes should have been completed hours ago, and even if Pinkie was asleep, her mind should have been on the alert to be in "sleep mode/easy wake-up mode," but obviously, it wasn't. That was strange since this whole debacle was her fault, to begin with..ugh...
Shaking his tail free of any excess snow from outside, Spike made his way toward the coat rack and hung his turquoise scarf up. He kept his turquoise hat on, the wooly garment helping his head stay warm since his head scales were a little more susceptible to the cold air outside, and still needed to heat up.
He waddled into the kitchen to find a surprise. Half of the cupcakes had all been made and the icing was either towered or spread across them. When he opened the fridges, the other half of the cupcakes were still gooey and doughy, ready for what was supposed to be inside. Wait…that was strange…there…there was nothing inside the cakes OR the frosting!
The REAL surprise, however, was the fact that Pinkie Pie was snoring quietly in the middle of the floor, clutching and leaning over a mixing bowl full of dough and a wooden spoon inside. She did not seem cold despite the fact that Spike was wishing he had his boots on at the moment. The pink pony looked so happy, and it took Spike a second to notice that he was not alone with the teenage mare. In her mane, there was the green tail of a reptile, the tiny yellow leg of a baby, the white nose of another foal, and even a pink unicorn horn rustled in the clean bird’s nest of curls.
A tiny head popped out, revealing the face of Equestria’s future ruling monarch. Spike heard smacking lips; Flurry Heart yawned loudly and stretched wide, somehow not waking everyone else up. She blinked slowly while rising into the air with her giant wings, and gasped abruptly, staring at Spike in surprise.
“GASP! Unc ‘Pike!” The baby gushed; pure happiness was in her twinkling eyes.
“Flurry!” Spike called out, the filly rushing into his arms like a baby eagle fluttering into its mother’s bosom. They hugged warmly, body heat combining.
“Could you please wake Pinkie up?” – Spike asked. “We need to finish these cupcakes.”
Flutty Heart nodded and muttered in the affirmative. She flitted up to Pinkie and poked her lightly with her hoof. She did it a few times, causing the older pink pony to stir and mumble. She finally woke up, fluttering her eyes slowly, barely registering the situation.
“Yaaaaaawn….sniff, sniff…Good morning.”
“Good morni-PINKIE...the CAKES! And it's the evening!”
“Yes, the Cakes are out right now. A lot of Christmas cakes need to be delivered.”
“Yes they DO –“ Spike shouted hysterically “– OUR cakes need to be delivered. To the dragons. In five hours. Five HUNDRED of them.”
“WHA?!” Pinkie started, shooting straight up – finally catching the gist of what was going on.
“I promised to serve the dragons gem cupcakes during the Hearth’s Warming Eve party remember? And you volunteered to help me because they wanted someone who was a pony to help serve a different species than her own. Also, you’re the baking expert here.”
“SNORT! Oh right…,” Pinkie said groggily. “Oh…YEAH! Yeah, I DID promise to help out, didn’t I? Only without the Pinkie promise being part of the deal, but still - a promise is a promise.”
“PINKIE…,” Spike whined, “This is URGENT, stay on topic! You’re the one who said that we should bake that many cupcakes, and you said they would be done FIVE hours ago - we have five more hours before the party, and two of those hours need to be dedicated to baking; what happened?”
“Oh, sorry, Pinkie apologized and chuckled nervously, heh-heh, there is a good reason for that…”
Flurry Heart fluttered onto Pinkie’s face in a hug - as she tended to do – landing on the older girl’s face with a big smile on her own mouth.
“Pinkie, what is this? Why are the foals – especially Flurry Heart here?” Spike asked, and Pinkie perked suddenly up, trying and failing to shake off the sleep (like the annoying glob of peanut butter from her PB&J sandwich that had been stuck fast to her hoof earlier,) attempting to stay awake. It caused her hair to jolt and for the awakened babies in her mane to fall out – in quick succession, she caught the little ones before they could land on the cold hard floor.
Only then did Flurry let go, despite Pinkie’s furious shaking moments earlier.
“Oh!” Pinkie gasped, the scared young ones wiggling around in her cradling grasp to become more comfortable after the scare they just had. Not that they were TOO surprised; Pinkie WAS their caretaker after all – they were mostly used to her antics.
“I am babysitting for a week to allow their parents to have long breaks in between working. I offered, but since I also offered to make those cupcakes, I probably should have decided to decline one of my promises. Although, the babies HAVE been useful with baking, due to their powers and smarts…the Twins share the load of pouring the mix into the pans, which is awesome! Flurry Heart does the same thing twice as fast, and multitasks by doing multiple pans while attempting to stop Pound from bashing them in with his strength when trying to drop them up and down when trying to disappear cake bubbles, as well as swatting Pumpkin away from the mix because she constantly tried to eat her or my own hard work or got her sucked-on hooves too close to the batter. For babies, they stay surprisingly clean, and when it comes to working rather than playing, they seem to be OK without supervision – the only thing I have to keep a close eye on is making sure they do not get near anything unsafe like knives, fall off the counters, run out of pans and start using boots or something to pour the batter in. It sounds like a lot, but for two two-and-a-half-year-olds and a months-year-old, that is impressive.”
“Yeah, I just hope that their caretaker is responsibly baking nearby and not messing around while she lets babies do her hard work, at least not all the time,” Spike said, pushing nervously smiling Pinkie through the kitchen to pull out the unfinished batter – they would decorate the finished cakes later – but for now, Spike was moving the pony towards each and every single fridge to get some action done. Everyone was tag teaming to get the heavy yet cool pans out – especially Spike, Pinkie, and surprisingly Gummy. The baby alligator was surprisingly fast when he could feel the hidden anxiousness of his young mistress. He was faster than usual – ten times as in fact, moving almost as fast as the comic superhero Filli-Second. It was impressive, considering his usual tortoise speed which caused him to be picked up and become constantly carried in Pinkie’s mane like a piece of clothing that was always worn, just like Applejack’s hat. If fact, Spike had barely seen the waddling reptile walk much anywhere, he was usually standing in the same place at all times, very rarely being animated. A trait shared with Pinkie’s older sister Maud, he supposed.
“After looking after the pets, baking is a welcome surprise. During the playdate, Angel and Opal were as annoying and disagreeable as usual – kicking and scratching when their food, pillow, or blanket needs were not met, or when someone accidentally bumped into them due to the happy pets running around because they were excited for Hearth’s Warming. Winona, of course, was the sweetest and most energetic, with her enthusiastic and friendly attitude as well as bounding energy – it surprises me that she is not your pet. Owlowiscious was studious and did his best to keep the two troublemakers either appeased or at bay (a great relief to me,) so, no surprise there. Tank is always a kind and low-maintenance animal, preferring to nap in a corner or watch the goings-on in the world and with the other pets. Pewee rounded them all up when they got too out of hoof for me to deal with and really is my best buddy – I especially that HE should have been named “Angel.” Gummy just blinked in thought and did not interact much…kinda boring at first glance, but it turned out that his attitude of blankness was infectious under stressful situations. So, basically the same as normal.”
“Oh, interesting!” Pinkie bounced up and down with the usual springy sound effects.
“But, anyway, back on topic: where is everyone and why is no-one helping you?”
“Ummm…well, ever since you helped me design and create the banner for the five-year anniversary of Princess Luna’s return, the business has been booming, and my second family and I were overwhelmed with orders. Not to mention, Twilight’s public invitation for the School of Friendship’s families to attend caused an overload of creatures and suddenly, our best friends not only had to help with the normal Hearth’s Warming preparations they normally would have planned on keeping their word on doing, but I, of course, had to make it worse for myself and dragged you along with it, since the meeting with Princess Ember was private and I didn’t tell a soul that we were going to be doing this in the first place All everyone knows is that you have come to pick up an (unfinished) order of cupcakes and help with the Sugar Cube Corner decorations. Sigh. Mane, I never should have accepted the dare that Ember dared me to do, or at least I should have said that I would bake fifty cupcakes for the approximate amount of dragons in attendance, instead of five hundred. I saw you and Ember’s shocked expressions – and your especially worried one. But my competitive spirit and pride got in the way, and I did this even after having accepted to babysitting three foals at once, the week before and during the day of Hearth’s Warming too.”
A sympathetic Spike studied Pinkie’s apologetic face for a long time, her lone bang of hair drooping in solemnity. “Aw, it’s OK Pinkie Pie. You couldn’t have known all THIS would happen, that so many creatures with individual tastes would come, or that looking after three foals would take so much out of you. In hindsight, even though the amount is huge, in hindsight, five hundred cupcakes should be enough for all the dignitaries, royals, and common class species going to be there, so it is probably a good thing that you made so many. Anyway, enough lollygagging! Let’s get down to business.”
Pinkie Pie nodded, thankful. “Thank you!~ Great! Now let’s get back to work!”
…
All of the cakes had been removed from the fridge – half of them were baking, and half of them were baked already, with Pinkie and Spike just starting to frost them. The action almost turned into a food fight when Pinkie smeared blueberry-sapphire frosting from the nozzle and onto Spike’s nose. Spike grabbed a cupcake with his favorite flavors – a blue sapphire and green emerald-topped cupcake with fire ruby sprinkles, but set it back down carefully and kindly, thinking better of dousing Pinkie’s perfectly good, presentable curls with the blue and green frosting and yummy sponge cake. They both had a laugh anyway, and anypony who walked by the Bakery (that was closed except for confectionary emergencies like this) would have heard the sound of friendly, jolly belly laughter and Christmas cheer.
Since they had finished setting the correct time for the cupcakes to bake, with a little time to spare, Pinkie started rolling out the extra bread-like dough into circles, and Spike grabbed the remaining gems and sprinkled them carefully inside, adding leftover flavors with mac-and-cheese, chicken, and chocolate in three sets of different doughy circles. It felt like sprinkling cheese on a pizza.
“Speaking of cheese, where is Cheese Sandwich? Still traveling?” Spike asked, tail wagging back and forth in curiosity.
Pinkie coughed and froze up. Her tail stiffened straight up like a cat’s tail after the tail’s owner had had its paw stepped on, such as Rarity’s pet cat Opalescence. Spike rubbed his belly scales at the memory, remembering that the grumpy cat could lash out at a moment’s notice if an accident like that were to happen, irritating the sore spot from her claws that had seemed to heal until he pressed on it and agitated the now, invisible wound. Spike looked up at a now tomato-red Pinkie, surprised at the sudden end to her bounciness and joviality. They had been replaced with a flustered attitude and a blushing visage. After the moment of suddenly acting shocked passed, she relaxed and reflexively let her cotton candy-like tail down. She shook her head and spoke with a shaky breath, betraying her embarrassment, happiness, fear, and sadness in her voice that had been caused by the question. A Changeling would have coughed at the weirdly blended and indecisive emotional cocktail, like a new adult tasting alcohol for the first time and coughing and spluttering at the surprise of the bitter and unfamiliar taste and texture.
“W-well, we DO have crushes on each other,” Pinkie said quickly, with deflating hair and teary eyes, “but we are not sure where to go forward since we rarely see each other despite the letters and I am scared to lose him as a friend, or a colt-friend as I have never before had someone exactly like me to keep me company or have a future with. Last Tuesday, while foalsitting the ones, we had our twenty-third date and he really enjoyed looking after the babies. I, of course, gave him warning and he was OK with it, in case you were wondering. He is very good with pets and children, and I do like him…though I might not be able to do make a long-distance relationship come together – despite my love of the trope. I’m afraid that my heart cannot really take the thought of losing the only true romantic relationship I have due to ponies previously thinking that I am weird and silly, and not made for a real relationship. I need somepony that can keep up with my energy and has a similar personality, or at least tolerates me.”
“Aw…well I think you’re pretty great! Any stallion would be lucky to have you!” Spike said solemnly with a pinch of joy, looking down at the floor. Pinkie perked up, the jerking causing Gummy to jolt and roll off her back from sleeping comfortably.
“OOPS, Sorry, Gummy!” Pinkie apologized when she felt the tiny weight roll off her back rather than her mane this time.
“Yawwwwn…Here we go again,” he thought, upset that he had been rudely awoken again, though he was used to rolling, being a crocodilian that lived with a hyper teen. “Gummy” Gummillian Gumball “Gummy Bear” Pie and was happy that the reason for the wake-up was not to work, as it seemed that the cakes were either in the oven or were completely frosted and ready. There was still baking time left on the balloon timer yet.
“I’ll catch you, sweetie!” Pinkie caught her pet with her tail, the owner stroking her reptile’s back and holding what she considered to be one of her brood close to her and kissed him lovingly and apologetically. “It’s OK, sweetie, I’ve got you!”
When focused, someday she could make a great wife AND mom.
- She would definitely be the kind to love on, spoil, or embarrass her kin, as she was already doing to the half-asleep baby alligator, planting a few hundred kisses too many on his head (with lightning speed), not just due to the embarrassment of someone other than the babes or the Cake parents watching; but because she kept assaulting the same spot when she clearly had not spent enough time loving his scaly back. Finally, at the end of his tether, he hissed violently at her clamped down multiple times on her nose with – once again - shocking speed.
“HIIIIIIIISSSSS!”
The irritated alligator knew he was completely toothless (even more so than a baby that has its tiny teeth inside of or behind the gums,) so he took the liberty of knowing he could not wound her to make his point clear that he was so done with her over-mothering him. After quickly and tightly snapping his empty jaws on her nose a few more times for good measure, he jumped away from her and started slowly waddling towards the room that led to the living quarters of the bakery. Huffing, he turned around to her one more time in his anger, and the young alligator noticed the tears full of shock and sadness in her eyes, Her mane…it was deflated when he had woken up, hadn’t it…? Had it….deflated even more now?! Not finishing his next step, he turned around and trotted up to her apologetically, not wanting to see her depressed. He thought to her with the telepathic link they shared, swiftly flicking out his tongue in Morse code to add to the effect.
“I’m sorry…I don’t usually lash out at you, you know this…but you smothered me so much that my head hurt. If you could please pet my back and kiss me less, I will be eternally grateful…I am so sorry, Missy Mommy Pie.”
“I’m sorry too,” Pinkie apologized, “I know I have a habit of kissing your sore spot that Angel Bunny made…I’ll try to refrain from doing that to the future now. From now on, use your paw or tail to direct me to where to kiss and when to stop kissing or hugging, and since I have a years-old habit of doing this, I deeply apologize.I know that once you calm down, you do not like hissing at me, but you have my Pinkie Permission to do it if I get to be a little too much for you, OK? Just like other ponies are starting to tell me when I do something wrong or annoying, you have permission to do just that, OK? I’ll now stroke and cuddle you quietly, without moving around so rambunctiously, little one.”
Gummy smiled. “Yes, of course, Pinkie.”
The pink pony picked up the teary, smiling crocodilian, cuddling and stroking him carefully, her mane and attitude starting back to life again.
Spike had not known what was going on, only that the two of them had stared intently at each other. They seemed to be having an inner conversation, so Spike moved to the personal fridge to help them heal the tension. Food always helped him feel better after a fight with his surrogate siblings Twilight, Shining, Ember, or Smolder - and he could guess that the other two would do too if he knew them well enough. Seeing Gummy jump into Pinkie’s hooves for a long hug, Spike put down a piece of strawberry shortcake with cherry ice cream – one of her favorite desserts, as well as a few small trout in the shape of a donut. The two turned and opened their mouths, inviting the food in. Spike threw the food dramatically, Pokemon-catching style, and the pony reptile caught the food in their mouths happily, snapping up and devouring the food happily, nosily, and quickly.
“DANG, you two barely give yourselves time to breathe when you eat – be careful, you could choke!”
They were fine, of course. They we experts at eating and not choking; Spike just hoped that they would not get cocky about it.
“Thanks, Spike,” Pinkie thanked, stroking a Contented Gummy Worm – er – Alligator – carefully. Oh yeah, back to what I was saying!”
Spike did not want to go back to the previous topic but allowed Pinkie to get it off her chest. It’s what a good friend would do, right?
“Wait, what was I saying again? Uhhh, don’t tell me, I’ll figure it out!” Pinkie insisted.
While she was distracted, Spike looked at the three foals that had not been awakened by the commotion, all lying beside each other in a lazy pile, Flurry Heart clutching her two binky-wearing best friends firmly in her wings. She cuddled her friends like Pinkie cuddled the Twins, her pet, and stuffed animals – in an unbreakable hug. Good thing no one needed to go to the potty – she had strong clutches! Same with Cake Twins and their growing friendliness and new knack for wrapping presents, Pinkie Pie had already rubbed off on the alicorn. In a few short years, Equestria was in for a storm from the fact that Pinkie Pie had managed to imprint herself on the next generation of important ponies. Spike found the sight interesting - the three of them tended to move around a lot in their sleep if they were sleeping alone, but they worked better together and stayed calm in each other’s body heat. Maybe they would become something akin to being the next Cutie Mark Crusaders or Elements or Harmony?
“The only other non-family male close to me is YOU,” Pinkie sniffed again, this time shedding happy tears. “I-I think you are admirable too, Spike, and I-I really like how your scales are gleaming really prettily in the sunlight right now.”
Spike blushed, slightly flattered – though he did not know what to make of the situation. Had Pinkie hit her head anytime recently? Maybe the previous tension had clouded her judgment.
“If things do not work out with Cheese for me and Rarity for you, and you are a little older, maybe we could be together? I mean, I am excitable and fun, and you are one of the only ponies to tolerate me and my antics. You have called me resilient to the cruelness of the world in previous pet play-dates, and I think that you are too. We both face life with childlike happiness and fascination. You are super brave as well, and a great friend. I love being creative with you, I enjoy pulling pranks with you and Rainbow, as well as saving Equestria with you. We both like eating rocks and baking, and I don’t think that Rarity is really interested, no offense. I’m guessing you see Rarity as a beautiful diamond, and she really IS a diamond in the rough and shines her beautiful heart and generosity on all creatures, and she is very beautiful so I understand why you love her. If she does not understand that you are an amazing dragon and loyal friend but she is not ready for a relationship, then both of you – especially you – have to step back from each other and just remain friends. I’m not saying to not date a pony, since I am partially asking you to date me, but apart from testing the waters, please do not go into a full-blown relationship yet, even though I understand that you are a mature dragon. Just let your physical size catch up with your mind, hee-hee. So, to reiterate…if things don’t work out with our crushes…maybe someday…we could be an item together?”
Spike blanched. Him and Pinkie? Although…the idea did not seem so absurd now…could they work something out together? Maybe…in any case, Spike was flattered, and gave Pinkie a reassuring smile.
“Yeah. Y-yeah, sure, Pinkie! I…I would love to! I need more time to think about it but, sure, why not? You are right about Rarity in any case, and Rarity, Applejack (that one time she saved me from the Timberwolves,) and you today, have been the only ones in my friend group that I have felt attraction for. I think AJ and Rarity are too busy for relationships anyway, and you always end up making time for anything and everything! And, heh, you look n-nice right now; too…sure, if things continue the way they are, I would be glad to date you, Pinkamena Diane Pie!”
Pinkie beamed. “Hee-hee, well thank you! Since we already have to deliver this food later together, we can start to slowly try this romance thing out. Well, it’s a date!”
After a comfortable, yet emotionally awkward silence, the pony and dragon turned back to the giant countertop and continued the process of making crêpes and wrapped them up neatly. The crêpes were for their friends as a surprise for their hard work with the party, and there were five extra cupcakes for the duo to taste test and they confirmed that they could be served to ponies, uh, creatures.
Pinkie may have been the baking expert, but Spike was learning a lot from both her silent body language and posture, as well as her individual tells and “Pinkie sense” moments that caused her to become mercifully predictable in some situations. The tiredness caused her to become subdued and take a break from her usual craziness or confusing behavior, giving way to a better-behaved young mare that could finally sit still and not seem like she had ticks or ADHD. Like her brain had finally calmed down from having a hundred thoughts at a time and was finally slowed down enough to pay attention to small details or take in the little things like everyone’s quiet breathing or the fact that not all the sprinkles in the jar matched their brethren’s length. Most ponies did not see that side of her that often, and it made both her and the bouncing of her curls surprisingly attractive in the winter sunlight.
“Well,” Spike thought, “I never thought that a pony would truly give me the time of day…yet here I am…learning to adopt my new, undying love for…of all ponies… the sweet and joyful…
…Pinkie Pie.”
The time for the cakes to come out of the oven was almost at hoof, and Spike and Pinkie were discussing their favorite culinary masterpieces – mostly deserts.
“Yes, I know,” Spike said, “My top favorite foods like hay fries, daisy sandwiches, ice cream, and cupcakes taste surprisingly nice with gems, too, especially the ones melted into jelly molds or softened enough to mix with the sugary fluff. The crunchier ones with soft fluff only really belong in sugary things when it comes to things such as drumstick ice cream, really. But a jewel pie or honey-dipped crystals – THAT would be something…”
Pinkie gulped, thinking about her favorite foods and sweet treats: candy, cakes, and pies.
“An interesting palette choice,” Pinkie said studiously – as if she was a connoisseur of the subject and Spike was so comfortable talking about gems with the two rock-loving mares in his friend groups (her and rarity), that it sounded like Spike was Pinkie’s learning student. Pinkie rubbed a hoof against her chin as a scientist or college professor would, knowing the taste of actual rocks. “But I agree that anything with sugar goes well with rocks, so those would probably taste fine - I am sure that after today, most dragons will learn to like the sweeter, crystalline rocks even more than the savory, meal-type ones.“
She preferred rock candy, but the refined and impeccably steel-strong jaws and teeth she inherited from her family caused the Pies to be able to chomp down on geodes. Pinkie supposed that she really was distantly related to Applejack since the Apple family had the same kind of teeth, able to gnaw away at the toughest of fruits and vegetables. Her cousin would be both pleased, as well as put off to know that with a little time and practice, she and her kin would be able to much on the best of stones, just like the Pie family.
Not that AJ found rocks that yummy anyway, though Pinkie knew that her parents were the experts in all things rocks and could make delicious mud pies and sedimentary cakes. They were some of her favorite earthy foods, and she longed to acquire them again tomorrow. She licked her lips, her mouth watering. Her mind wandered once again…and she realized that maybe the Cake family could have been distantly related to her as well because, with practice, they could chomp down the hardest of nuts and confectionaries like fruit cake and gobstoppers without hurting gums, or breaking teeth.
If she had to guess based on the horse-like strength that already flowed through “the baby three” – Pound, Pumpkin, and Flurry, she supposed that the twins would be able to, too, and quicker than usual. It was like all three families could create what they did best perfectly and eat the final results without worrying about health, being tired of their food specialties, rotting their teeth, or breaking their faces - erm – mouths. She would have to go back to town hall and dig deeper into her past – adding the Cake family to her research.
Hopefully, she would get a clear answer this time on whether or not she had more blood-related kin that was almost just like her, minus the craziness and never-ending bounciness. Genealogy was so interesting! Since she had become their surrogate daughter and was technically adopted by the couple when she was four, before ponies knew that Pinkie had already had her own parents and siblings, the happy trio was constantly thought of as a family. Filly Pinkie Pie did not help matters either, with her constant mess-ups of calling Mr. and Mrs. Cake “mommy” and “daddy,” or (sounding more like filly Applejack at the time - ) “Ma Cake” and “Pa Cake.” They really did feel like Pinkie’s parents, and after she ran away from home/went to seek her fortune, their bond really did feel like blood relations. What did not help were their similarities to each other in friendliness, bright colors, occupations, and don’t forget - being confection lovers. The only difference was that, unlike her stern parents, the Cakes were more of the “worry-wart” type of guardians, and they did not share her boundless energy or pompous ways…although her entire immediate family also shared that difference with her, so that really could be the case.
She chuckled to herself thinking that she understood why most ponies thought she and her family were strange. Only her family could make mining, growing, creating, and farming ordinary rocks look cool or interesting, much less make such a ginormous profit that rivals the Apples’ Equestria-wide farm profit…with fewer farms and fewer ponies working on them no less! On “boring old pieces of earth,” much to Rarity’s chagrin. It was taking a long time to show her the value of non-shiny rocks and teach he the beauty in all rocks, not just the pretty ones; her eyes would be completely open someday. After all, Pony Earth was one big giant rock that included huge piles of soil, tectonic plates, mountains, caves, and more rocks and dirt than anyone could count. Rarity herself had thought that a “normal, boring, old piece of junk” rock had been worthless as a filly and the use of the gems in fashion (after the power surge of Rainbow Dash’s first Sonic Rainboom) had caused Rarity to obtain her cutie mar. And lest we not forget…TOM the boulder, what Rarity had been made to believe was a gorgeous shiny rock, held no value in her eyes when she was un-Discorded with her mind brought back to normal. Even though her generosity was back, she had discarded the poor thing like the shell of a nut once an animal had found the foody prize inside. Oh well. He would enjoy meeting a stunning rock girl on the rock farm. Rarity had been foalnapped by Diamond Dogs who often saw “normal” rocks as the real treasure and gemstones as just interesting shiny objects. It took all of us to get her back. She had also seen saw the profit of her family despite some reservations a lot of ponies had regarding how commonplace “boring, lifeless, and magicless” rocks were, yet rocks can be used in important things like food and potions. Precious metals like gold for bars and bits and other currencies could be found in rocks, and memory stones that either restored or wiped off grant memories like Sunset Shimmer discovered to exist, and I was almost buried by rocks when my sister saved me from an avalanche, once again. With all these examples, one could not deny the power of rock formations forever, could they?
…
She shared a lot of these details with Spike, and he explained his own similar thoughts on his family. Since he was hatched by Twilight and raised by Twilight Velvet and Night Light, everyone knew he was a dragon, and though some rude or ignorant ponies thought he was a pet, most ponies thought of them as being a more biological family, despite the species difference. This was mostly because at the time the more – baby, baby dragon acted like the family from the very start, and being imprinted on Twilight while having a more magically-charged body than most dragons were naturally infused with made him share both magical biology, traits, and diets of both species from the get-go. had the same purple hue as Twilight’s and still does; and the drake went everywhere with the then unicorn, even after he could take care of himself. Twilight caused her little number one assistant and brother/son to inherit her love of books (mostly picture and comic books,) leadership, and plans, Twilight Velvet and Night Light caused Spike to love stories and astronomy, Shining Amour taught Spike about Hoofball and Ogres and Oubliettes, among other sports and games, Cadance taught Spike about love, being creative, and how to properly cuddle Twilight when she was stressed; and (at the time) sole reigning monarch Princess Celestia taught Spike about royalty, the courses a royal would take, such as jousting or being trained to be as strong as a royal guard, how to bake a few deserts, places to travel to; even how to find the best gems or anything on the limited knowledge she had on dragons. Spike had just found out that behind the scenes, the deity had made sure to keep Spike’s greed growth spurts from manifesting as a baby so he only found out about them as a child – all that time, keeping his destructive power hidden all that time. Pinkie Pie and Spike had both been adopted into loving families that cared for them despite their oddities and differences.
Spike and Pinkie blinked at each other, mouths agape, and hair and wings quivering slightly. They had more in common than they thought!
(Fire-breathing cupcakes~)
Pinkie suggested that they should add something special to the cakes to make them really stand out and appeal to dragons.
“What?” Spike asked.
“Flamethrowers and blow torches!” Pinkie yelled.
They ended up fitting tiny edible capsules of controlled fire inside the cupcakes or directly underneath the frosting – causing the frosting to magically part like a waterfall splitting open to allow the flames an exit. The flames that shot from each individual cupcake were all different colors thanks to Spike’s magical flames and the fire-proof food coloring mixing with his breath. The cupcakes would stop blowing fire if any creature other than a dragon came near them, finally subsiding after 30 seconds of a light show. Pinkie’s knowledge of pyrotechnics and Spike’s knowledge of how to not burn properties and valuables down – even accidentally came in handy; the timer would only allow the flames to go off when the cupcakes were revealed at the party, probably done by time and heat knowledge, as well as Pinkie Pie’s unique time-space magic.
“Yeah, FIRE! With safety!” Spike shouted, "And the ones with the frosting with the shapes of dragons are cute!"
“Oh yeah! WOO-HOO! Oh, we have an hour and a half to get to town hall and get everyone to help us professionally set out the cupcakes! Let’s GO get the cakes! Heck yeah, FLAMES!”
BING!
The kitchen timer for the cakes finally went off.
After a good fifteen minutes of keeping the youngest children away from the large volume of extremely hot cakes that Pinkie Pie and Spike had painstakingly taken out of the oven and waiting to be cooled, as well as the ones that were already frosted; Pinkie wrapped all of the foals up in winter clothing with the signature colors of Hearth’s Warming’s red, white, and green, as well as pink and blue. Pound looked so cute in his little boots, Gummy in his earmuffs, Pumpkin in her scarf, and Flurry Heart in her coat. Spike matched Flurry in wearing blue-er clothing with his adorable scarf and cutie-patootie hat. Pinkie Pie looked stunning in her red and yellow scarf and hat.
“Let’s go, Spike!” Pinkie shouted excitedly, we have some desserts to deliver!
It was going to be a safe yet explosive performance.
(-The Hearth’s Warming Eve party-)
Town Hall, as well as the outside dining tables, were abuzz with different species and party energy. After the booming success that was the School of Friendship, creatures ages four to senior ages were being taught about the miracle of Friendship. The creatures that were wrapped in either space or thick clothing to combat the snowy and cold weather were included but were not limited to: Ponies, Dragons, Griffons, Hippogriffs, Changelings, Yaks, Buffalo, Zebras, Kirins, Deer, Reindeer, Cattle, Donkeys, Abadas, Kelpies, and a lonely Draconequus.
“Excuse me?!”
- Sorry, a LONE…Draconequus.
“Thank you.”
- No need to be a grump about a comedic typo…gosh…
“What was that? Do I need to come through the screen and snap my fingers to make you respect me?”
“I need to teach you a lesson. Shall I turn you into a-?“
- No, I am sorry sir…prince…Lord…continue on, and please to not angrily flick your ear or magical talons or paw in my direction!
“Hmf, good. What’s royalty got to do to get a little respect around here? Anyway, continue with your boring story that is not about ME.”
…
Anyway…now that Mr. Discord is now confined to the script of the story again, let’s carry on…
The usual play had finished, and everycreature was waiting for their cupcakes to either be served, or either have the opportunity to be served themselves. Some of the cupcakes has been made out of rock candy, and there were clear dividers and organization in place for both the real gem and the rock-candy-gem cupcakes.
Many of Spike’s gem tastes were shared with others of his kind, and eighty percent of the cupcakes were baked or frosted with his favorite jewels. The wheeled tables full of cupcakes had gems of different kinds baked into them or sprinkled on the frosting. The treats especially had Fire Rubies – ages to perfection, blue Sapphires and Diamonds that reminded Spike of rarity, gleaming emeralds, small Crystal Heart replicas, shining Turquoises, and even some of Rarity’s (donated) sparkly edible gold along with tiny versions of the boots. Spike (with Pinkie’s help) had finally found enough self-control to make large quantities of gem cakes without being tempted to eat the stones before they were even put into the mixture! Hooray!
Just like how dried fruits have a lower chance of sinking in any kind of batter and cake mix, one obviously uses yeast or some other kind of rising agent, but it is also wise to lightly dust the gems in a small scoop of flour or an edible fine-grain crystalline powder to stop them from dropping like, well, stones.
In the fields, the help of other ponies had arrived just in time to pack up cakes and get them displayed properly, with five minutes to spare, although Pinkie and Spike had almost eaten a few cupcakes, they had thrown the food like Frisbees yet it ended up being a mess-less, quick, and efficient way to get them stacked without causing the bottoms of the cupcake wrappers to hit the frosted tops or vice versa…somehow…maybe the power of Pinkie Pie’s cartoon logic?
…
Princess Twilight Sparkle walked up to the podium, waving a hoof to silence the excited crowds, then gestured for Spike and Pinkie to join her. The younger species of equine and drake hovered softly and bounced quietly and took their time getting through the crowds and up the stairs due to the importance of the meeting and not messing up.
Twilight gestured to her friends and announced that the cupcakes promised for the night (before the deal had been made) were ready, and everyone was informed about the dragon-pony deal to make them and that it took the combined efforts of two different species to bake the magical pastries to perfection. (Twilight had only just been informed of the dare herself before the trotted up to the podium.)
FWOOM!
The firey and sparkly cupcakes had been uncovered, gleaning shininess from the sun’s rays. The cupcakes had hit up with a fiery fury, and the timer to keep the inferno quenched had caused the firework-like heat to go off - temporary flames danced in the breeze, safely lighting on and off, away from everypony. Everyone looked impressed, even the royals that were not ponies like Celestia and Luna stomped their hooves in praise and looked on in delight. Even the Princes with extremely high and perfect tastes – Prince Rutherford and Blueblood had awe in their applause and praise.
“Great job you too!” Twilight gushed as the other two bowed.
After everyone tasted the scrumptious delicacies, the duo was called back to the podium with Twilight to be praised for the desserts.
“Wow, you really did it,” The creatures on the podium started, as the dragon princess Ember had snuck up behind them with a bitten cupcake in her claws. “And in time for the deadline, too. The fire and gemstones taste delicious, the Turquoise and Sapphire flavors being my favorite.
Prince Thorax, Rutherford, Shining, Cadance, Princess Skystar, Queen Novo, General Pharynx, and Garble all shouted how pleased they were with the pair.
“Good job, Spike! Well done, Pinkie!”
“Pony ambassador Pinkie and dragon-pony ambassador Spike did great job! Yak clap!”
“Nice job, Lil’ bro!”
“Lovely performance, the both of you!”
“Woo-hoo! Go you two”
“Quite adequate, young drake.”
“Not bad, runt.”
“Good job, pipsqueak!”
The cupcakes (and crêpes for select ponies like the royals or close friends of the mane six group such as Garble, Trixie Lulamoon, and Starlight Glimmer) were shared, and everyone enjoyed them thoroughly, even the creatures who preferred unorthodox or savory food like Pharynx, Garble, and Gilda.
…
After being swelled with pride and cupcakes, Pinkie and Spike were counting the cupcakes left over to give to their friends and families. They were proud of both themselves and each other for getting commended by their peers and royalty for their interspecies cooperation to bring the dragons and ponies closer together. (As well as sharing their tastes with other creatures.)
Behind the podium and away from the constant pony-dragon relations questions he had been asked such as every single detail on Twilight raising him, Spike had just finished the last of a gem-decorated quesadilla Smolder and the rest of the Young Six had given him as thanks for the cupcakes, savoring the last delicious mouthful. (Ocellus, Yona, Sandbar, Silverstream, Gallus, and even Terramar had hoof/claw-picked different gems matching their colors to add to the treat.)
Twilight Sparkle had fainted and toppled over like a shocked goat at the sight of the artery-clogging amount of cheese inside, copying a mannerism Fluttershy would have had. In fact, after profusely apologizing because laughing at others because they finally felt how you felt was not nice, the pony in question had snickered when it happened, causing the mane ten (the main six, Spike, Sunset Shimmer, Starlight Glimmer, and Trixie Lulumoon) to look at her with varying degrees of sympathy or annoyance towards Fluttershy, as laughing at a monarch was not the right thing to go.
“We did it Pinkie!” Spike sensed the fluffy, sweet-smelling pink party pony sneaking up on him, having improved his reflexes. He half-yelled, half-whispered in order for his hiding place to stay hidden, but he could not hide his excitement from her, who was vibrating with excitement – her previous entourage of tiny children and one pet that was nestling in her tail not caring and staying asleep.
“I know, right?!” Pinkie added, “Just in the nick of time to make it look like we had everything set up professionally and had been taking our time on the preparations!”
"Yeah, show them that dragons and ponies can work together!" Spike agreed.
Suddenly subdued, Pinkie Pie quietly got close to Spike so fast, she definitely teleported there.
“I really enjoyed this day, Spike, and if you permit me, I will seal the deal on our future proclamation of our courtship. Heh, everyone will have such shocked faces – Rarity will faint, Rainbow Dash will laugh and Applejack will be smug. Anyway, may I?”
Spike blushed but nodded. Pinkie closed the distance and gave Spike a peck on the nose. He blushed furiously, and smiled, thinking it was nice. “Thank you.”
Pinkie giggled.
He thought it better and more intimate than a motherly or sisterly cheek kiss from Rarity and Twilight. Pinkie’s kiss made him feel more like a young stallion…uh…drake, rather than a foal. Despite his age, he thought of himself at least being capable of being coltfriend material now, and Pinkie Pie had given it to him. It would take a few years before official dates started, but this was a good start.
Hoof in claw, they walked out from behind the podium, revealing themselves to their friends and family members. A bundle of Mistletoe and Holly suddenly appeared on Pinkie’s raised tail. Spike gently pulled Pinkie’s warm, soft and fuzzy face down to his…and kissed her quite passionately yet innocently.
Pinkie had predicted Rarity's Applejack's, and Rainbow Dash's reactions; and Fluttershy and the pets her excited. Also, Discord gasped way too wide for his face, the ruder, and more xenophobic rulers visibly jolted, while the kind ones that knew Spike and the Element of Laughter snickered quietly. The CMC hoofbumped, and Sunset, Starlight, and Trixie applauded. The Cakes, Pinkie’s, and Spike’s families gasped or looked happy. Gummy and the baby three jolted awake, sensing the tension in their direction. Pee Wee felt dizzy. Owlowiscious collapsed.
Despite being happy for them, Twilight Sparkle's eye twitched and a piece of her mane and tail fell out. She was beginning to have a breakdown. Her reaction would turn into a complete and utter volcanoe-exploding mentdown right in front of everypony sshe loved. She loved both Spike and Pinkie dearly, but the teen princess started to have an aneurysm at the thought of Pinkie being her possible new relation as well as the thought of the same stern and hard-to-understand-for-outsiders family Pinkie was bringing to the table…of course, it was always the random Pinkie that stumped Twilight with her very existence. Now, she was probably going to join the family as her second sister-in-law – the one that Spike was bringing home to dinner…hopefully an interspecies foal was not possible, as a Pinkie Pie sugar-charged dragon did NOT sound like a fun niece or nephew to have…oh BOY. She could hear the wedding bells already; the migraine was bound to happen at any moment!
“Ooooooohhhhhhhh…”
The end. 
…
Merry Hearth’s Warming/Boxing day/Day after Boxing day!
Author's Note
Wow, I swapped two of my top twenty favorite ships of Sparity and Cheese Pie for Pinkie-Spike?! What world IS this?
This was a friendship fic at first, but my hands slipped and added romance, as well as everything I like about Pinkie and Spike as characters. I hope you enjoy, Tangerine!
I went from 1,000 words to 8,000 words - one of my largest "I'm THINK I will/I TELL myself I will write 1,000 words for a one-chapter story" moments in my history of being a Fimfic writer.
Merry Christmas and Happy Hearth's Warming!
