Author's Note
Merry Christmas everypony. No holiday special for this year but you do get a new Spike and Starlight one-shot.
Secret Of My Hardships
Starlight prided herself on being a good friend… well, as good of a friend as she could be at least, that’s why she was secretly decorating Spike’s room for his birthday tomorrow as he slept. She figured it’d be a nice surprise for him after all since she didn’t really get him anything.
Oh Starlight didn’t slack off on doing so, she genuinely was not aware of Spike’s birthday until yesterday when she overheard Rarity ask Pinkie Pie for a reminder of when Spike’s birthday was.
She was surprised that Twilight never told Starlight about the dragon’s birthday though she supposed the Pony Of Shadows and Storm King incident and bringing back the Pillars likely distracted her plus the subject never had reason to come up in the first place.
Starlight finished putting up the last purple and green streamers she had gotten from the party supplies closet and smiled. Everything was set for tomorrow.
Spike rubbed his eyes as he woke up to the risen sun, much to his surprise, he saw purple and green balloons were on the side of his bed along with streamers. His eyes widened, who could have…
“What in Celestia happened in here?!” Spike asked in shock.
A flash of turquoise light appeared and Starlight smiled brightly at the dragon, “Surprise!”
“S-Starlight. What did you do here?!” Spike asked incredulously.
“Oh I guess this came off as a shock.” Starlight giggled sheepishly, “I decorated your room overnight to surprise you since it’s your birthday to make up for not knowing until now.”
“Oh…” Spike frowned nervously which concerned Starlight.
“Something wrong Spike?” Starlight asked.
“I-It’s nothing.” Spike said defensively, clearly lying to save face, “I’m gonna go… organize something.”
He then ran out of his room in a panic, when Twilight walked in the room looking confused at the hasty exit, “Spike? What are you-“ She began to ask before noticing the decorations Starlight had put up, “Oh no. Oh no no no. Starlight, what did you do?” Twilight said frantically.
“What? I just put up some decorations for Spike’s birthday. Did I do something wrong?” Starlight asked in confusion, yet concern.
“Okay, so I know you’re not aware of this so it’s not your fault but Spike hates his birthday nowadays.” Twilight explained sadly.
“What?!” Starlight asked in shock and immediately grew more concerned, “When did this happen?”
“Ever since he first celebrated it in Ponyville.” Twilight answered solemnly, “An… incident happened that basically horrified him and affected him ever since.”
“Oh.” Starlight looked down at the ground sadly.
“Starlight, you know it’s not your fault right?” Twilight told the unicorn, “If anything I should’ve told you about this to prevent something bad happening.”
“I know but I just feel so bad for Spike. What even happened to make him hate his birthday so much?” Starlight asked sadly.
Twilight faltered before saying, “If he wants to tell you, he can but I think I should go find him.”
“I’ll go.” Starlight offered before saying, “Even if I didn’t mean to, I made him panic. I should go make amends.”
“That’s fair.” Twilight sighed, “Again, I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“It’s okay Twilight.” Starlight smiled reassuringly before walking off to find the dragon. She wasn’t upset with Twilight about the incident, she clearly wasn’t aware of what was going to happen.
She began calling out for Spike as she wandered around the castle, “Spike! Where are you?!” She said in concern before adding, “I’m so sorry. I had no idea your birthday was a touchy subject for you.”
She then heard soft crying from the walk-in closet nearby and figured that’s where Spike was. Starlight opened the closet and looked to see that Spike was covering his eyes as he wiped his tears. Starlight immediately felt a pang of guilt, even if she didn’t know any better, she still caused this.
Spike looked shocked as he looked up to see Starlight glancing in concern.
“Oh… Starlight… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to see me like this.” Spike sighed solemnly before Starlight walked in and sat next to him, “No Spike. You have every right to be upset. I didn’t know that your birthday was an upsetting topic.”
“Yeah. It is.” Spike crossed his arms awkwardly.
“Do you wanna talk about it? You don’t have to, of course but I’m curious about why you’re upset.” Starlight asked carefully, making sure not to force Spike into talking.
Spike looked at Starlight with a sad gleam in his eyes, what if she feared him after knowing what had happened? What if she distanced herself from him?
But then he remembered that this was Starlight he was talking about. The same mare who tried giving Chrysalis of all creatures a chance to better herself and the one who he found himself closer with than almost all of Twilight’s other friends.
Yeah. He can tell her what happened.
“Okay. I’ll be honest though, it isn’t very pretty.” Spike sighed sadly to which Starlight nodded in understanding.
“When I had celebrated my birthday, I received so many gifts from Twilight and her friends. It was so awesome, and felt so special. Heck, random citizens began giving me gifts for free and I got too greedy and started getting ponies to give me some of their stuff, taking advantage of the fact that it’s my birthday and all. I started to grow in size due to a special condition young dragons have called ‘Greed Growth’. I began growing more and more until I turned into this feral hoarding monster. I could hardly control myself until Rarity reminded me of who I really am.” Spike explained before tearing up at the memory with a sniff, “I was a monster. I could have gotten so many ponies killed that day.”
Starlight’s eyes were wide at this point, she knew Spike was struggling but didn’t know it was this much. She could relate to suffering from a villainous past and given Spike was so young, it was much more difficult to deal with his emotions.
“Spike. It wasn’t your fault. You were hardly in control of your actions. You’re not a monster for something you couldn’t control.” Starlight told the dragon comfortingly.
“B-But it was still due to MY greed. I don’t know if I’ll someday end up losing control again or not. I could end up killing Rarity, you, or Twilight. I-I’d never forgive myself if I hurt any of you like that.” Spike said in a shaky tone.
“But Spike, I’ve seen you be greedy before.” Starlight reminded him, “Clearly you’re starting to get a better handle on that side of you and it’s clear you can tame your greed if Rarity was able to get through to you.”
“Maybe, but I can’t erase what I did Starlight. Some ponies still don’t forgive me for what happened and even if they don’t say it to my face, I heard whispers that they believe I should go into a cave where dragons belong.” Spike flopped down to his stomach and sighed.
Starlight wished Spike was exaggerating about that last part but given how some ponies sometimes would whisper things around her and Trixie in fear, she had reason to believe Spike. It wasn’t fair in his case either, Spike didn’t even have control of his greed at the time.
“Look Spike. If I’ve learned anything from being Twilight’s pupil in the past is that it’s best to move on from what happened in the past. Will the guilt go away? I sincerely doubt it but it will be easier to bear over time.” Starlight told the dragon sympathetically.
“But-but I…” Spike began before Starlight interrupted, “Spike. What happened on your birthday was not a cause of the real you, it was an instinct that you could not control. The fact is that you were able to snap of that instinct and gain control of yourself again. And as for you turning into a rampaging beast, I trust you won’t. You clearly have more control of your greed than you used to. I trust you because you’re my friend, do you trust me to believe I’m right?” She smiled softly at Spike to which Spike finally embraced Starlight with a tearful grin.
“I do.” Spike finally spoke to which Starlight smiled at, he may still be haunted by his past but at least now he’s starting to heal.
“You know, out of all my birthdays. This one is my favorite.” Spike admits happily to Starlight causing Starlight to light up with tears of joy.
