Yona gets to smash!

by Alank2

Rating: everyone
Tags: Yona, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 4028

Yona comes back home for a summer break, only to find out Yakyakistan on the verge of a civil war. The best yak is not going to let that happen! War is stupid, and yaks are smart, therefore yaks will have no war!

Technically a sequel, but happens simultaneously with the previous story and does not require reading it or any other entries in the series.

Returning home for a summer break, Yona finds Yakyakistan on the brink of a civil war. While Prince Rutherford wants to open his country to the world and ally with ponies, a group of traditionalist Yaks under Prince Bradford want to return to the traditional isolationism.

As the threat of War of Two Brothers looms over Yakyakistan, Yona finds herself surprised by the stubborn stupidity of some of the yaks she used to look up to. The Student of Friendship faces her greatest challenge at the doorstep of her home, but she has no doubts – she is Yona, and Yona is the best! She will stop this stupid war before it starts!

Prince Rutherford could already feel the incoming headache.

As usual, minor Equestria at War references in names and locations. Knowledge of EaW not required at all to enjoy the story.

Published 2022-12-27 01:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-12-27 01:00:01 UTC

Yona gets to smash!

As Silverstream finished her story, she found herself in a group hug. All her friends joined, and she smiled, returning it. The world certainly seems better when her friends were around!

“So, all of you had adventures like that?” Gallus asked with slight disbelief. “That sounds crazy.”

“Nah, not all of us. Wait until you hear Yona.” Smolder answered, being the first to slip out of the group hug.

“Yona? Wait, what exactly happened to you this summer?” Gallus asked her, also breaking the hug.

“Nothing happened to Yona!” She answered happily. “Things happen to Yona’s friends, but Yona is a yak! She happens to things, not things to her!”

Everyone sighed in a friendly way. The energetic and happy yak, not discouraged in the slightest, continued. “Yona totally smashed! Gallus will be proud when he hears that!” She stopped for a moment. “Since Yona’s friend don’t speak yak language, Yona will translate.”

Everyone nodded. Unlike the main pony and griffon languages, or even zebra, the yak language, thanks to their hundreds years of isolation, was the most exotic. Lacking a lot of things other languages took for granted, it was way harder to learn, despite other students giving their best. Lack of proper teachers and books also didn’t help, with yaks only recently opening to other species.

“Yona just came home, when she noticed it…” She started, happy to share her adventure with friends.

Yona happily trudged through the snow, enjoying the cool feeling. Even during the summer, Yakyakistan was simply the best! It has snow, ice, and it was never too hot here. And yaks lived there, so it was obviously best.

Although now that Yona got to know her friends better, she accepted that others can also be best. Ponies can be best, and griffons, changelings, hippogriffs and seaponies, and dragons! And zebras, and donkeys... everyone can be best. Some can be not best, and some can be worst, like that Cozy Glow pony. But in Yakyakistan, there was just the most of the best creatures!

Unlike her other friends, she didn’t take Princess Twilight’s offer of transport by air or water - not that she could, Yakyakistan had no ocean around it! She took train to Crystal Empire, met the super-nice Princess Cadance, talked with her about crystals, and then she happily trudged her way to Yakyakistan! The shiny crystal ponies gave her so much food on the way, Yona would get fat if she didn’t burn all it by walking all day. And sometimes all night. Yaks were strong!

There was only one pass between Crystal Kingdom and Yakyakistan, so Yona didn’t worry about losing her way. Besides, she was a yak, she would never get lost in her home! That’s like Princess Twilight getting lost in her huge crystal castle, it couldn’t happen.

She left the pass far behind her, and was already getting close to Saihandale. It was a small village, but it would be nice to see other yaks there. Yona missed seeing others, smashing together, spending time in a Yak way.

But when she got close enough to see it, she was surprised by what she saw. There were yaks building a stone wall around the village, and digging in the frozen ground in front of it. Yona was even more surprised to see some Yaks wearing war helmets. Was there some monster around? She walked to the newly-built gate, and found it closed. An adult Yak noticed her, and came to her, suspiciously. “Who is this yak?”

“It’s me, Yona! Why yaks all digging and building here?” She asked, worried.

“And how do yak knows who Yona is?” He asked her, still suspicious. “Yak could be spy! And yaks smash spies!”

“Yak really thinks Yona is a spy?” The voice who answered was tired, but also amused. Foreigners may not notice it, but Yona knew it. It helped she knew that voice.

“Chieftess Sheyak! Yona is confused, what is going on?” She trotted – walked, yaks don’t ‘trot’! – to the big female yak, the Chieftess of the village. “Are there monsters here? Yona can help!”

The older yak just smiled, not taking a break from building a wall. “Sheyak happy to see Yona! But Yona should go home, it not safe here for little girls.”

“Yona not little girl! Yona Student of Friendship, and heroine in pony land! She can help!” She said proudly.

Sheyak was not impressed. “But Yona still student, so Yona has no voice. Yona go home, and go home fast. Bad things will happen here soon.”

“Bad things? What bad thing, Yona now specialist in dealing with bad things!”

“War.” Yona stopped her boasting and jumping around, shocked. “Prince Bradford not listen to Prince Rutherford, and he says Yaks should not open to ponies. Brothers fight, and now all will fight. Little yak should go home, she will be safe there.”

“But, but yaks are best! Yaks too smart to have war!” She protested. That made no sense, yaks were best and smartest, and war was bad Yaks had to know war was bad, and yaks smart, so war could not happen!
Right?

Chieftess looked at her sadly. “Yona go home. Adults will take care of this.”

Yona left the village in shock, sad and angry. How could yaks do that? War was stupid. Yona will prove to all yaks that war stupid, and since yaks are smart, there will be no war! Yona will make her teachers proud.

And she did! Yona best!

<… just continue please…>

Yona went to Yakistown, and saw more of the same. Walls being built, and yaks with war helmets on, ready for fighting. This would not do!

She went straight to Prince Rutherford’s tent. When she entered, she instantly saw multiple elder yaks sitting in a circle around yak-made map of Yakyakistan. They were all there; Chief Doughal Khan, Chief Barrak, Chief McKinley, and of course Prince Rutherford himself, who turned to her as she entered. “Yona back! Prince happy to see Yona, but prince busy. Yona go to her room, and wait.”

“But Yona heard war is coming! But this is impossible, war stupid and yaks smart! So there will be no war. Yaks too smart for that!” Seeing as no one on the War Council reacted, she realized something was wrong. “So why all they yaks preparing for it? This not smart! Why prepare for something that not happen?”

“Yona goes to her room. This is War Council, yaks need big decisions. Little yaks not allowed.” Prince said, returning to the map.

Yona stomped hard. “Yona not little yak! Yona fought bad guys and won, Yona brave and true yak! Yona stop the war, if council won’t!”

“Yona spent too much time at pony school. Yona grew weak.” Chief Khan said with a frown. “Little yak is little and a girl. Should go to her room. Needs discipline to return to yak way.”

“Yona better yak then chief then!” Now the entire War Council looked at her with what other species would call ‘small surprise’, but was in fact huge shock. “If yak council want war, they not as smart as Yona thought. Yona will go to Prince Bradford and make him stop war.” She turned around and left.

She made few steps forwards before hearing Chief Rutherford shouting angrily. “Yona will do no such thing! Guards!”

Yona sighed. “And that is the seventh time Yona has guards on her.”

So she run.

SQUASH!

It took days of walking before Yona reached Jaki-Clan territory. In that time, alone, she had time to think. She was not like her best bug friend Ocellus, but…

So Yona was not book-smart like Ocellus. And she was not smart-smart like Gallus. And she wasn’t words-smart like Silverstream. But she was Yona, and she was yak-smart! She could get Prince Bradford to stop being stupid and stop war!

She got to Gol Guur, on the border with Jaki-Clan, after few days. The village now had a big wall, and yak patrols were going around it, ready for battle. She only came in for some food – yak not herself when she’s hungry! – and then continued east.

There were bad things on the border… that is no border, that is all Yakyakistan, Yona thought. Why was she thinking otherwise? This was her home! There was no border in the middle of her home, silly Yona!

There was snow and ice forts made on the hills between Jaki-Klan and not-Jaki-Clan. But there was no wall, so she just walked between them in a valley. This caused some ruckus, and a group of yaks appeared from their forts, trying to catch her before she goes through. And another group of yaks, seeing her approaching and more yaks behind her, also came in her direction from Jaki-Clan!

She tried to say something, but two groups instantly started traditional insulting before battle ritual.

“This is Yakyakistan, and big yak says so! This yak ours!”

“We don’t want this little yak, but this is Jaki-Clan! Yaks back down, or be smashed!”

“We smash Jaki-Clan!”

“We smash not-Jaki-Clan!”

“You are all stupid. Yona thought yaks smart, but you are stupid.”

That was definitely not normal, and both groups of yaks looked at her, not sure what to do. “Yona thought yaks were smartest, and not do stupid things. And now yaks want to fight yaks! And yaks want to fight yaks, too! War stupid. If Yaks want fight, then both yaks stupid. Yona is going, yaks do what they want.”

“Little yak can’t call big yaks stupid…” One of the Yaki-Clan started.

“Yona can and Yona do! If big yak stupid, and little yak can’t tell big yak stupid, who can? If big yak wants to not be stupid, big yak stop fighting.” Yona answered without hesitation.

“But… big yak smart! Prince says…”

“If Prince wants war, Prince stupid! This all big misunderstanding, and Yona goes to Prince to talk to him. Get out of Yona’s way.” She continued walking past the confused yaks. “Try talking. Yona saw that talking good, fighting bad. If yaks smart, yak talk, not fight, if yak stupid, yak fight. Yak do what they want.”

Now insulted and confused, both groups just stood their awkwardly as she went on her way, not really sure what to do. “How little yak so right? Yak not stupid. Yak and yak were on the same wedding some moons ago! Why yak and yak fight? Prince and Prince smart, so there be no war!”

“True! Why would yak fight yak? Yak too smart for that!”

Yona reached Saihan Tolgod, the capital of Jaki-Clan, without any problems. However, she found out that the guards were not going to let her in. “Halt! Is little yak Bradford-yak?”

“No! Yona is yak-yak. Is yak Bradford-yak?” She asked in return.

“Yes! Yak proud Bradford-yak, not Rutherford-yak!” Guard answered with pride.

“Oh. So, if yak is Bradford-yak, it’s good?”

“Yes!”

“And why Rutherford-yak bad?”

“They are not true yak! Only half yak!”

“But Bradford-yak also not yak-yak, so they are also half yak!”

“No, little yak wrong! Bradford-yak even more yak!”

“More yak then yak-yak? But how, if they are not yak-yak?”

“Bradford bestest yak!”

“But his yaks are half yaks?”

“No, they full yaks!”

“But they aren’t yaks-yaks?”

“Yes!”

“So they are only yaks, not yaks-yaks?”

“Yes!”

“So they are half yaks. Because half of yak-yak is just yak.”

“Yes! Wait, no! Little yak asking too many questions!”

“But how is twice as yak not yak-yak?”

“Little yak stop asking questions!”

“Can I go in now?”

“Yes, as long as yak stop asking questions!”

Yona entered happily. Her friends were right, talking could be fun! Now, she needed to find Prince. It was not hard, he had the biggest hut! She entered it so fast, the guard didn’t manage to stop her this time – talking was fine, but she wanted to have it over with!

It was so similar, she thought for a moment she was somehow back in Yakistown. There was a war council, with Prince and others, Chief Irvine, Chief Finbar, and Chief Boomer. “What little yak doing here? Little yak girl leaves, big yaks are talking!”

“Yona here to stop war!” She announced proudly. “She knows yak smart, so it all misunderstanding!”

“No misunderstanding! Jaki-Clan go to war and smash Rutherford and save Yak Way!” Prince looked at her, and his eyes, hidden under his fur, widened as he recognized her. “Little yak is Yona! Little yak traitor, went to pony school!”

“Yona no little yak! Yona strong, and smart. If Jaki-Clan war council the same as Yakistown war council, then yaks more stupid then Yona thought.” She said, disappointed.

Prince Bradford looked at her with shock. “How dare little yak insult Prince! Little yak be thrown down the mountain for this!”

“For truth, or for being smarter? How prince Bradford wants to save Yak Way?”

“By smashing Rutherford, and throwing ponies down the mountain!”

“And then?”

“What then? Then nothing! Jaktopia! Paradise for yaks, like it always was!” Prince Bradford declared, his chiefs nodding wisely. “Little yak asks stupid questions!”

“So how Prince wants to stop bad creatures from taking over?”

“Yaks smash best!”

“And what if we cannot smash?”

“Yaks can smash everything! Yaks always did! Yaks best!”

“Yaks best because yaks smart. If yaks stupid, yaks no longer best. Yak remember Sombra?”

“Yaks not scared of dark pony!”

“Sombra made yaks hide. Yaks tried to fight and failed, and Sombra ruled them.” Yona said angrily. “Prince wants that again?”

“Sombra gone! Ponies scared dark pony!”

“And if he comes back, what will yaks do with no friends? Surrender again?” She asked more and more angrily.

“Yaks will smash better this time!”

Yona forced herself to take few deep breaths. Remember, Professor Rainbow Dash said that anger can be useful to drive you forward, but not too much of it or you start doing stupid things. “What if someone else attacks?”

“Yaks smash!”

“Alright. Yak needs example, obviously. How yak smashes changeling?”

“Yak just smash weak changeling!”

“How yaks know what is changeling?” She asked. “Yona friend with changeling. How yak know table not changeling?”

SMASH. “Table not changeling! It smashed!”

“How does Prince know maps not changeling?”

SMASH. “Maps not changelings! They smashed!”

“How Prince know Chief Boomer not changeling?”

SMASH.

Silence.

“… Chief Boomer not changeling?” Prince asked, suddenly not as loud. In fact, he asked it very timidly for a Prince. “Chief Boomer not angry?”

“How Chief Boomer know Prince not changeling?” Yona asked.

SMASH.

SMASH.

SMASH.

After few minutes of smashing, the room was in shambles, and yaks were all quite beaten up. “How Yona know yak no changeling?” Chief Irvine challenged her.

“Yona best friend with changeling! Yona knows changelings, and Yona knows no one in here changeling. And if some were, Yona has friends to help. If Chiefs had a friend, they would also be safer.”

All three chiefs started to nod. It sounded reasonable. And she indeed just proved how easy it was to make them fight one another. At war, they would quickly lose like that. But Prince Rutherford was not convinced. “Yona little and girl! Yona has no voice in Jaki-Clan!”

“Yona has voice because Yona smart. And chiefs got smart, but Prince remains stupid.” She answered, sadly. To think she used to look up to both Princes as the smartest Yaks... sometimes.

“That is it! Prince smashes Yona!”

“If Prince wants to fight, Yon accepts! Yona will fight Prince on the Nokhorsag Oi hill!”

“Prince accepts! Prince will show how yak SMASH properly!”

Yona and Prince Rutherford stood on the opposite ends of a small hill. The elders, and a lot of other yaks, were standing around and watching them. Little girl from pony school challenged the big warrior Prince? He would smash her hard!

“Last chance for little yak to surrender! Yona has no chance!” Prince boasted, his mighty, ancient war helmet on. It was very traditional, very big and very heavy. Also sharp. But mostly heavy.

“Yona do not fear stupid. Yona best and smart. Stupid Prince can surrender and be smart too.” She answered without any doubt.

Prince, now infuriated, made an angry roar and charged.

Yona charged as well, although much slower. Every other yak gasped, thinking her even weaker and easier to smash.

Now, in a normal situation, she would lose. She was half the size and third the weight of Prince Bradford. Fourth if helmet included. He would smash her without any problem.

However, what Prince Bradford – and yaks spectating – really didn’t understand was the way Yona’s experience at the School helped her. She learned to talk, and be herself, and to make friends. But she also learned that sometimes somecreatures just didn’t want to be friends. Like Cozy Glow.

She also learned that others could be best. Even not-yaks. Smolder was a dragon, and no yak in any story ever fought one and won! And they both loved to spar, so they did. A lot. And since Smolder was strong, almost as strong as her, almost as tough, but could fly and make fire, Yona learned to be smart. That’s why Yona was best!

So when great Prince Bradford charged, she used her experience against unstoppable force. She dodged to the side.

It was harder to dodge on four legs then on two. And dodging while charging was even harder. But Yona trained, and was best! She even charged at meanie-pony-Chancellor and did not hurt him at all. She was smart!

Prince Bradford, Yona thought, really was stupid. Seeing her suddenly not in front of him, he tried to slow down and turn at the same time. But he was big, heavy, his helmet was heavy too, and he charged her full speed on a small hill. Stupid! Yona thought he great warrior, but he was stupid warrior! Professor Dash could take five of Prince Bradfords and win, he was so stupid!

Prince Bradford fell down with a decidedly not-yak scream. He sounded more like that goat merchant she once saw, she remembered he was called Wilhelm. He once fell from the Ponyville bridge into the water, and screamed just like that!

Prince Bradford hit the hill, and fell down. Hit the hill, and continued falling. Hit it again, and started rolling down for a change, and kept rolling, and rolling, until he was a ball of snow that was rolling even after ground became more even. Yona turned to the chiefs with smile. “Yona thinks Prince broke something. Or maybe multiple somethings.” She looked down, seeing Prince trying to get out of the snow ball. “Any other yak stupid and wants to challenge Yona?”

Somehow, none did.

“Yona crazy! Prince thought Yona will get smarter in pony school, not crazier!” Prince Rutherford was very angry at her once she came back.

“If Prince was smarter, Yona didn’t have to go. Prince just needs to be best, and Yona will listen!”

Yaks don’t groan. Especially Princes. So the sound he made was definitely not a groan. “Yona disobeys Prince, goes on her own, and then beats other Prince and makes peace, not war. What can Prince do now? Can’t punish Yona, can’t reward Yona. Prince is lost.”

“Yona teachers always say that we need to act if want to live in a better world. Yaks need to be better, so they can be best! Then Yona can help! Yona has many ideas. Many ponies want to see Yakyakistan and have yak friends. Yona showed them that yaks best, and ponies best! Yaks and ponies stronger together!”

“More ponies. But not all ponies bad. Yona may be right. Any other ideas?” Prince Rutherford just surrendered. He could never control Yona when she was little and full of ideas, and now she was strong, smart, and he owed her for peace between yaks. At this point, he could as well listen.

“Yes! Yaks need schools, to know how to read and get smarter!”

“And who teach in these schools?”

“Ponies! And then yaks when they learn more! Yona already asked, and many are happy to come!”

“… Of course Yona already asked.” Prince felt his headache coming. Chiefs, especially traditionalists will be very ‘happy’ to hear it. Well, at least he now has Yona to scare them with. And explain things to them. Maybe sending her to pony school and not smashing the chancellor-pony was really smart.

“Yak need trains, so ponies can come here easier! And ponies will buy things we have, and sell what we don’t have, and we will all be happier! And Professor Rarity promised to help make sure trading be fair!”

Somewhere far away, Rarity suddenly felt cold. Like she was deep in Yakyakistan for a month. Or longer. Which was weird, considering she was in a tropical swamp currently. And very unhappy about it.

“And important Pony Princess Cadance told Yona the blue crystals we have very valuable! We can smash them and sell them, and make yaks rich!”

Prince Rutherford just nodded. “Yona waits. Prince gathers the Big Council, with all the Chiefs, and Yona can tell them all that.” He was not going to be the only one blamed for this.

“Oh, and Yona promised Prince Bradford he not be punished, so yaks can all be happy!”

Prince Rutherford almost admitted to himself he was groaning.

Almost.

Author's Note

Writing Yona is fun and hard at the same time. And I already expected it to be, but it was both much more fun and harder than expected. On the other hand, watching her being more proactive and on the offensive then her friends was definitely funny and different.