Battle for Equestria: Balls of Fire!

by overlord-flinx

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Random, Adventure, Discord, Princess Celestia
Length: 2146

Discord Vs Celestia: Age old battle, comes to an end... The world ends with a laugh, not a snicker.

After a thousand years of putting up and worrying about Discord's shenanigans, Celestia moves for an ultimatum. One shall stand, and one shall fall...

Watch as Celestia and Discord lock in a battle of epic levels... On a sports field! Watch as friends are pinned against each other in nonsense!

And you can help! Discord AND Celestia both have to have teams of 10-15... Anyone/anypony can be on either side... But they need a reason. You can pick them out if you want.

This is my gift for 300 followers. Enjoy!

Published 2012-09-24 08:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-21 17:07:17 UTC

Prologue: Aggressive Tendencies Lead to Trauma.

Chaos... Chocolate rain, cotton candy clouds, talking apples, dogs and cats living together; mass hysteria... Harmony can end all of this for some time. But some time is never enough... There must be a way to end it more securely. A way that in itself is so chaotic and irrational that Chaos itself will have no choice but to bow to it. But the only way to achieve that is to make a deal with the devil. Now, seeing as there are no devils in Equestria, we will have to settle for the next best thing...

There it was. Or more so he was. Still petrified in his state of surprise. Arms pushed out in a desperate attempt to prevent the rainbow of his demise. Like this, he seemed almost peaceful and serene. But no, Celestia knew, standing there before him, that this creature was simply biding his time to grant a moment of accepted hope for the ponies of Equestria. That was the very reason she came before him this day; alone. The ruler of Equestria bowed her head slowly, her eyes brimming with a burning desire as her horn touched against the stone basin of Discord's petrified state.

A soft light graced against the stone from the point of Celestia's horn, which started to send a cracking fissure through Discord's still body. Moment by passing moment, Discord started to inch his stone body slowly, his hodgepodge of colors returning to his twisted body. Once he was fully recovered, his mismatched arms stretched towards the blue sky as he made a dramatic yawn. "The spell is broken...!" as he said this with a groan, his dragon foot clawed into the stone under him, digging against it, "And I live again!"

Celestia only continued with her firing eyes and looked up at Discord with his triumphant stance. "Discord!" His yellow eyes darted down to see with some surprise the pony that released him, "I have released you from the binds of Harmony. I know you're not wondering why, since why would call for reasoning."

"True, true..." Discord nodded slowly while he stretched out against the stone landing under him.

"But I will tell you why I've released you anyway... I challenge you to a duel," even Discord was a bit off-guarded by that sentence. However, Celestia continued, "I have been battling you for more than 1000 years... And I have started to grow tired from it. Not just physically, but emotionally. It pains me through the very night remembering everything you've done and everything I couldn't prevent..." Celestia sighed weakly before resetting the fire to her eyes.

"You pretend to be defeated every time we set you into stone; but we both know you're just playing. Your constant bleeding of chaos into the air drives horrible actions from innocent pones. But it ends now... I challenge you to a fair duel."

Discord tilted his head for a second, thinking this out. "...What are the stakes?"

"If I win, you will stay in that stone form for two hundred years. You won't leak any of your chaotic will into the world during that time either. When you lose, you will stay down fairly," Celestia made her intent clear; keeping it reasonable for future bartering if need be.

"...And if I win?" Discord seemed to be listening closer now, as if intrigued by this crazy idea.

"If you win, I'll give you Canterlot to do what you will with," that was the money phrase. Sure, Discord could just take Canterlot whenever he wanted. But to have it handed to him by Celestia? Nothing could be sweeter.

"Oh-ho-ho. Celestia... Being brash and bold are we?" Discord straitened up and got down to level with Celestia, "The right kind of mind set you should be in when dealing the cards to me. Smart... Very well, I'll accept your duel. What's your game? Jousting? Chess?"

"...Kickball..."

Pause. That's all the lord of chaos could really do. Just pause. One of his talons went to his flopping ear and dug it out, fishing a ball of wax out from it. "Sorry, Celestia, I must've heard you wrong. Say--"

"I'm challenging you to a game of kickball, Discord," Celestia's tone was shake-less and frank.

"Why kickball? I thought you'd want some kind of Royal Canterlot event... Like chess," he could barely believe what he was hearing... And he was the lord of chaos!

"Because with a Royal Canterlot event, you only need one player per team. With kickball, you need at least eight players. Which means you need to rely on the help of others."

"...Well what if I--"

"Team captains can't use magic! New rule, lock, no changes!" Celestia quickly said.

Discord snapped his claws and gave a harsh huff. "Darn it... Alright. Round one goes to you. But how am I supposed to get an eight player minimum when all of Equestria knows me and hates me; without my magic?"

"That's for you to decided... My team is already in roster. You better get started Discord," for a brief moment, Celestia seemed almost smug about the current standings.

Before Discord could rebuke her, Celestia moved off the garden grounds and away from him. Once more, he huffed out a harsh breath and kicked at the grass under him. "Well, buck... I could just cheat, buuuuuuuuuuuut... Canterlot will be all the sweeter if I get it forked over to me fairly..." he pondered his current situation and sat back up against his previous prison. "So many choices..." the lord of chaos remained there in thought, wondering who would make up his dream team to crush Celestia.

"...I think I know just the person to call..." Discord smirked devilishly as he held his paw out.

In no time at all, an old phone appeared in it and he picked it up after turning the dial for the proper number. "I hope they figured out how a tele-- HELLO! Yes... Yes it has been a long time... Uh-huh... Yeah... Kickball game... Yes... Yes... Yes it would be easier if I was actually talking to you and not talking into a phone that keeps telling me I put in a number that doesn't exist... Yes...Right... I'll see you soon, bye." Discord hung up his phone and poofed it away in the same manner it had appeared.

"They really need to invent the phone..."

Chapter One: Teeth and ambitions are bared!

Alicorn, pegicorn, unisus, winged-unicorn, horned-pegasus; All rather accepted labels that are associated with the royal race. However, there is a darker name for them. a name that makes those with wings and a horn in one cringe when they hear it.

Cheater.

"Sister..." eyes shift uneasy, but the eldest of the two remained stout.and unwavering.

"It's for the best, Luna."

"I nay see the reason why. If I must do this, would it not be better if I were on your side?"

"Yes... Under normal circumstances, that would be the case. But like I said before..." With a loud thud, a bulky book landed between the Celestia and Luna and was quickly flipped open to a page covered in names. "I can only have one of our kind on my team. I could take you, but if I take Cadance it assures me Shining Armor as well. If I take you, I miss out on two very useful players."

"...I still fail to see why I must be on Discord's team though!"

"I have gathered you all here today for an important occasion. I have personally selected each of you because--"

"Where are the cheese-nuts!"

"...Because each of you are--"

"You said there'd be snacks!"

"...Because each of you--"

"I'm not listening until I get my snacks!"

"There will be punch and snacks after the epic speech!" Discord flashed a bit of lightning behind him as he leaned in against the interrupting mare.

"Geez... No need to get testy..."

"Where was I...? Ah! Because each of you are all able to be swayed over to my side. If it's by bribes..."

"Money is the core of all language!"

"Revenge..."

"The Great and Powerful Trixie demands retribution!"

"Loyalty..."

"D-I-S-C-O-R-D! Discord, Discord... GO GO!"

"Or alignment..."

"Bucking alignment chart..."

"Either way, you are all here... And each of you will be given a piece of the pie when I take that pie out of the oven known as Celestia! NOW WHO WANTS CELESTIA PIE!"

The audience fell deathly silent, only a few coughs letting Discord know they were there. "Uh... I mean... It's a metaphoric pie; the pie being Canterlot and by extension Equestria-- Who's up for those snacks now?"

"HAIL DISCORD!"

Hours passed, though the sun had barely moved from where Celestia had left it. Regardless, two omnipotent beings, titans of their trade, met once more at the place of their dealing. Discord had opted to sitting on his old pedestal while Celestia stood before him, still burning with determination. "I trust your team is--"

"Save your words Discord. I was prepared hours before I challenged you..." Celestia assured her adversary.

"Woah, alright then. Let's bring out our teams then..." Discord sneered devilishly while Celestia bowed in agreement.

Out from behind a bush beside Celestia filed her collected army, ready to take down Discord. "Discord... Meet The Order of Harmony."

"Twilight Sparkle, my most loyal student."

"Rainbow Dash, loyalty in its embodiment."

"Shining Armor, trusted brother of Twilight Sparkle and husband of Cadance."

"Princess Cadance, matrimony binds the two together."

"Mayor Mare, loyalty to the crown stretches even to an outer government."

"Rarity, riche to be and carved with the desire to bring honor."

"Fancypants, loyalist to the Canterlot Royalty."

"Spitfire, proud leader of the Wonderbolts; which I provide funding for."

"Octavia, head musicianist of the Canterlot Royal Symphony."

The mass of ponies collected behind Celestia, putting on their best war faces... As hard as that was for some. "I will also withhold my right to calling in additional numbers if needed." Celestia made that point known well to Discord.

Discord nodded his head, agreeing to the offer for whatever his own reasons were. "A cute little gathering of ponies you have control over. I on the other hoof gathered my team through completely legitimate means... Meet Team Alpha-Omega-Sting-Mamajama-Moon-Stone-Elite Squadron Unit..." With a snap of his taloned fingers, he summoned in his ranks one by one.

"Trixie, a vow of revenge was all it took."

"Applejack, same deal, smaller scale."

"Princess Luna... She showed up for my meeting for some reason. But I take what I can get."

"Queen Chrysalis; because the alignment chart is law."

Chrysalis groaned and shook her head. "I swear Lawful Evil is still far enough away from Chaotic Evil to make me not be on this team..."

"Pinkie Pie... Because I can."

"Vinyl Scratch, she came up with the team name so I thought she should be on the team."

"Cerberus, because any good team needs a mascot."

"He's not a pony, Discord," Celestia pointed out quickly.

"You never said they all have to be ponies Celestia... Plus I already gave him a leash, so he's staying," Celestia went back a bit as Discord wagged a finger at her and gave the massive dog behind him a pat on one of his snouts. "But let's move on... Big Macintosh, for family blood is thicker then loyalty to the crown."

"Lyra... It's best I don't get into why she's on my team... Just accept that she is on my team."

"Finally, Screwball... I've got nothing, she's here. Good enough."

Celestia eyed down the group behind Discord, already feeling that some players on each team had already wanted to mix words with someone on the opposing team. However, those actions would have to wait for now. "Very well then. Since I challenged you, I'll let you pick the first game we play."

"AH! But I will raise you that offer and offer this in exchange!" Discord snaked over to Celestia and smirked devilishly. "I'll let you pick the first game if you let me pick the referee..."

A fair enough offer, Celestia thought. One that will both cripple and aid her for the first event. Though it may aid Discord in the end, it could also do a great deal of benefiting on her behalf. "Very well Discord. You may pick the--"

Before Celestia could full agree, another poof of magic flashed a young colt beside Discord. The colt was sporting a striped black and white shirt and had a whistled wrapped around his neck. "A'right, ya' plebs. Let's play some games!" Pipsqueak shouted as he blew into the whistle afterwards.

Princess Celestia gave a short groan before shaking it off and looking back at Discord. "Nevertheless... Our first game will be one that the youth of today invented... Kick Ball."