Superfluous

The sound of birds chirping and flying overhead drags me out of my drunken slumber. My senses are immediately overwhelmed with the smell of animals and the light of the sun coming in through an open window. A cool breeze flows through the window as I lift my head from the wooden floor. I crack open my eyes and take in my surroundings. I’m in a wooden cottage full of birdhouses, sacks of birdseed, and adorable yet beautifully carved wooden furniture. Wherever I am, they clearly love birds. I’m more than okay with this. I wonder if they have any crows?

I roll onto my back and a wave of nausea hits me like a truck. I focus on not barfing as I look around for something to drink. Was I smart enough to leave out a glass of water and some ibuprofen? A blue jay flies over and lands on my leg; the feeling of its scaly foot on my bare skin making me jump a bit. I look down at the bird sitting on me and realize I’m not wearing any pants. Why am I not wearing any pants?

It's been a hot minute since I've been this hungover. Not since my trip to Atlantic City, now that I think about it. I'm not sure how I got here but all I remember is drinking a shitload of moonshine with Applejack, eating my weight in cupcakes and cookies, and a very long walk with very heavy boots. And now I’m here laying on a dirty floor with a blue jay staring up at me from my naked leg. At least I still have my underwear on. There’s some dignity in that. At least I hope so.

"Hey there, Mr. Blue jay. What are you doing here?" I go to move my arm across the floor to pet the small bird but the movement scares it off. It hops off my leg and then flies off out the open window. "Damn it. One of these days I’ll get to touch a bird."

Focus Lilly.

First things first. Find your pants.

I slowly sit up with a groan. Between my head and my stomach, I didn't know which hurt more. But I know which one will complain more. I scan the room again then see my pants draped over the armrest of a nearby couch. Perfect. With zero grace I turn onto my side and clumsily try to get to my feet. I stumble and almost throw up but I make it to my feet. I shuffle over to the couch and grab my pants. Why did I have to get into an accident wearing skinny jeans? I could have nice comfy pajamas right now. But no, I have to wear skinny jeans.

I lower myself onto the couch and put on my pants with more difficulty than I’d like to admit. It wasn’t pretty or graceful but I now have pants on.

Step two, get some water.

I stand back up causing my stomach to do a flip and my vision to fade for a moment. I take a deep breath as I hold my stomach and make my way toward one of the two open doorways. I peek through the first one and Inside is a simple kitchen with a small sink the same style of carved wood cabinets and a small table big enough for two people to eat at. I move to one of the cabinets and open it. It doesn’t have any cups, just plates, and bowls. I shut the cabinet then move to the second one and take out a glass. I go to the sink and fill it with water then quickly chug the cold water. It's probably because I'm still drunk but this is the purest-tasting water I’ve ever had in my life. I fill it back up then drink the entire cup again. I set the glass on the counter and smile softly. Much better. Would still love some ibuprofen but this will do for now.

As I make my way back towards the couch I hear faint singing through the open window. I shuffle over and listen. In the distance is Fluttershy singing a soothing song as she flies to different nests and birdhouses with a sack of presumably bird seed in her hooves. Her voice is beautiful and calming even at this distance. I'm not able to pick out any of the words, not that I could with my ruined hearing, but her voice is still amazing.

As I go to get my boots on, kicking myself again for not wearing more comfortable shoes, she finishes up feeding the birds and heads towards a cart on the ground. She sets the bag in the cart then grabs a basket full of fruit and vegetables then flies down to the river.

I finish putting on my boots and head out the front door. The fresh air and bright morning sun hit me again causing my stomach to do another flip.

This time something is coming up.

I quickly run from the door down the bridge and into the tree line. I barely make it into the woods before I lose my dinner and an ungodly amount of moonshine.

I slowly stand back up and wipe my mouth. "How much did I drink last night? I don't even know if I won-" I hold my stomach as I heave again but nothing comes out.

With my stomach now empty I stand up again. My stomach feels much better but I still have a splitting headache.

Step three, find some ibuprofen or equivalent.

I spit the last bit of stomach acid into the forest then make my way toward Fluttershy. She has flown away from the river and is heading towards the cart still singing. She sees me walking up the path and waves. I return the wave as she changes course and heads over toward me.

"Good morning, Lilly. I didn't think you would be up this early. I hope I didn't wake you." She says as she flies over and lands in front of me.

This was the first time I'd seen her fly and it was surreal. Something about seeing an actual horse fly this close just felt weird.

"Nah you didn't. The sun did." I offer a smile. "You sleep okay? I hope we didn't get home too late."

"I was worried about you but I slept okay once I got you settled in." She smiles back. "It wasn't too late when we got back in. The Cakes cut the party short at about midnight."

"Midnight? Damn. Sorry to keep you out so late." I have no idea what her sleep schedule is, but if she's up this early then she's probably in bed early most nights. Unlike me who has always been a night owl.

"Oh, it's no biggie. It's been a while since we all partied like that."

"Well, I had an amazing time and hope my drunken self wasn't too hard to herd back here."

"Not at all. In fact, you were very easy. You stumbled along with me for a while but eventually, I had to carry you on my back.”

I laugh a bit at the imagery of me riding a pony. “Must’ve been quite the sight.”

She giggles. “I’m sure it was.”

=-(+)-=

“But I would walk five hundred miles, and I would walk five hundred more. Just to be the woman who walked a thousand miles to fall down at your door!” I slur sing as we trudge down a dirt path through the woods outside Ponyville. “DA DA DA… DA DA DA! Da-da-da dun-diddle un-diddle un-diddle uh da-da!”

Fluttershy fights back laughter as she watches me sing poorly. “What in Equestria are you singing?”

“When I’m lone- huh?” I look over at the voice, not able to see much more than a blurry yellow blob in the darkness. “I’m singing 500 Miles by uhhhh…” I pause, trying to remember the name of the band. “The… I don’t know. I can’t remember the name of the band. But it’s a really good drinking song!” I laugh as I trip slightly on a root.

Fluttershy quickly catches me before I even know what’s going on. “Do you want me to carry you? I don’t want you getting hurt,” She asks as she helps me stand back up.

I look down at her and smile as I try to focus my eyes. “Nah, I’m good. I can walk.”

“Are you sure?”

“Crystal.”

“What?”

I blink a few times, trying to figure out what I just said. “I have no idea. How much farther?” I ask as she lets go of me and we start walking again.

“Not much longer. Should only be-”

“Proclaimers! That’s their name, The Proclaimers!” I unintentionally interrupt her.

Fluttershy jumps a bit at my sudden shouting but quickly collects herself. “That’s a very… interesting name.”

“A lot of bands just use random words for their names. My band’s name wasn’t much different though.”

“You’re in a band?”

“I was. I played bass. Wasn’t very good though. We made a demo but didn’t have the drive to continue.”

“Aw, that’s too bad. I’m sure you sounded wonderful,” She says as she starts to lean against me.

I put my arm around her again, partly to keep her close but mostly to keep my balance. “Eh. If you’ve ever listened to one heavily distorted note being played every five minutes through the cheapest amp at Guitar Center, you know our band’s extended discography.”

Fluttershy looks down at the ground, having no idea what any of the words I just said meant. “Neat.”

“Assuming we can find my phone or laptop, and it still works, I can play a song or two for you. Though I doubt you’d like it. It’s… rough.”

“I’d still love to listen to it. It sounds interesting. I'm not quite sure exactly what you just said, but it all sounds interesting." She smiles up at me.

“Well, here’s hoping they work.” I pat her side then trip on a large rock and quickly fall face-first into the dirt.

“Ohmygoodness, are you okay?” She asks with motherly concern in her voice as she moves to my side.

I roll over onto my back and look up to see her worried face inches from mine. A meme I saw months ago flashes in my head and I lose it, cackling at the picture of a horse saying ‘are u a grass’.

She cocks her head a bit at my laughter. “What’s so funny?”

I try to wheeze out an answer but can’t with how hard I’m laughing. I reach up and pat her head, trying to show I’m not laughing at her.

She seemingly understands the pats and smiles a bit. “Okay, Miss Giggles. Let’s get you home, okay?”

Taking my hands away from her to wipe the tears from my eyes, I nod and try to sit up as the laughter dies down. I hold my stomach as a few more snickers escape. “H-holy shit.” I laugh. “I can’t even begin to explain why that was funny.” I laugh a bit again. “But it was nothing at your expense, believe you me.” I giggle a bit and let her help me up.

The world spins as I stand up and nearly fall again but she keeps a firm grip on me. “Ooooh shit…” I groan as my stomach does a flip. “Okay. Fun Lilly is gone. It’s now just Sick Lilly. Can we go home?”

Fluttershy nods and turns her body towards me. “You can ride me if you’d like. Might be quicker and easier.”

Giggity.

Oh shut up, brain.

I look over her yellow body. While she was still shorter than a horse, she was still tall enough that my feet wouldn’t drag the entire way. “Yeah, alright. Fuck it,” I mumble while I shuffle over and she lays on the ground. I swing my leg over her back and then sit down. She stands up slowly with a quiet groan, clearly not used to carrying someone so heavy. I couldn’t be more than 160 pounds at this point, but I wasn’t going to say anything.

“If I get too heavy, let me know.” I lean forward into her neck and wrap my arms around her. I feel her nod and say something but I couldn’t make it out as I drift off to sleep.

=-(+)-=

“Are you hungry? I can make us some breakfast if you'd like."

My stomach answers for me as it growls angrily. We both look at it and then back at each other. "I think that was a yes."

Fluttershy giggles and nods in agreement. "I guess so. Let me just get my cart and we can head back."

"Hella." I nod and follow her, draping my arm over her shoulder again. She leans against me. "Did I make an ass of myself last night? I got absolutely hammered and don't really remember a lot" I ask as we walk.

"Oh, no. Not at all. In fact, everypony loved you. After you beat Applejack in the drinking contest you finished the rest of the bottle and ate over a dozen cookies and cupcakes."

"I won? Holy shit."

"Mhm. After that, you apologized to Pinkie at least 5 times for being late and going to one of the booths so quickly. But she was understanding and I think she wants you to come by the bakery sometime and teach her what a Dr. Pepper cake is. You said it was something your mom used to make?"

"Oh my god. Dr. Pepper cake. I completely forgot about that! She would make that every year on my brother's birthday and it's soooo good.” My stomach growls again at the memory of that delicious cake.

"And you gave Rarity a few ideas for clothes you'd like. Do humans commonly wear collars?"

I cough nervously. "N-not really. It's more of a… goth thing for me at least" I half-lie, "but other groups might wear them."

"Humans sound really complicated."

"You don't know the half of it, dude. We make no goddamn sense." I laugh a bit.

Fluttershy nods in agreement. "I'm slowly learning that. Oh! And Rainbow Dash said she'll try to come by today to help us find your truck, assuming she isn't too hungover."

Still feeling my own hangover, I nod. "I completely get that. I'm still hungover. Hell, I'm probably still drunk. When did we get back here? And what time is it now?" I look up at the morning sun and immediately regret it. The bright light burns my pickled brain.

"I don't know the exact time but we left Sugarcube Corner at midnight and it's a bit of a walk to my cottage from there." She shields her eyes as she looks at the sun. "It's maybe eight?"

"So maybe six hours of sleep combined with most of a bottle of moonshine and a dozen sweets." I shake my head. "I'm getting too old to be doing shit like that."

"Oh no. You two went through three bottles of moonshine. Well, you drank most of the last bottle. So I guess you went through about two bottles."

"Jesus. That explains not remembering anything. That's a lot of 'shine," I say as we walk up to Fluttershy's cart.

The wooden cart was small and basic but had a half-empty bag of birdseed, numerous empty plates and baskets, and a few loose carrots laying around. Fluttershy walks up to the front and hooks herself into it, clamping the metal O ring around her midsection. "Now we can head back for some breakfast. What would you like?"

"Uhhhh…" I think for a moment, still trying to wake up. "I honestly have no idea. Whatever you want works for me."

"How about pancakes?"

"That sounds wonderful."

Fluttershy nods and pulls on the cart. As we make our way back to her cottage I can't help but look at her cutie mark. "So Twilight explained the concept of cutie marks when we first met but I still don't fully understand them. Is it similar to a brand? Or what?"

Fluttershy looks over at me and then at her cutie mark. "Oh no. Nothing like that. Once a pony finds out what makes her special, it appears on her flank. My special talent is animals."

"Huh. Neat. I kinda wish we got something like that. Would make things a lot easier."

"Humans don't have a way to know what makes them special?"

"Not really, no. We just… flounder through life trying to figure that out. Some people figure it out, some don't and work a dead-end job till they die." I shrug. "Life seems a lot easier here, not gonna lie."

Fluttershy frowns at my comments about human life. "It's not all perfect days here. We still have to work hard. We control the weather, the setting and rising of the sun and moon, and even take care of all the animals. Not to mention all the spooky scary stuff that happens. Like Nightmare Moon, Diamond Dogs, Manticores, and even Dragons. And don't get me started on the Everfree Forest."

"Okay yeah. What's up with the whole dragon thing? Spike seems like a decent guy." I cringe a bit at the memory of comparing him to a furry I knew. I wish that one was lost to alcoholic amnesia.

"Spike is only a baby dragon. He is still very young and small. Full-sized dragons are massive!"

"Holy shit, really?"

She nods. "They're terrifying. I had to confront one back when he moved into the nearby mountains. I'd never been so scared in my life."

I look over at the massive mountain peaks in the distance then back at Fluttershy. For someone so timid, she was so brave. "I don't think I could do that, to be honest. I've stared down pissed-off bulls and rattlesnakes but nothing like a friggin' dragon. That's just hardcore."

Fluttershy gives a bashful smile as we walk past her chicken coop. I look at the different colored birds. "Y'all keep chickens? I thought you were vegans or something?"

"Vegan?"

"Vegetarian but you also don't eat or use animal byproducts. Meat, eggs, milk, honey, leather, stuff like that."

"Oh well um… I guess we're just vegetarians."

"So it wouldn't be taboo to ask for eggs with the pancakes?"

"Not at all." She smiles as we walk up to a small shed behind the cottage. She backs the cart into the shed and then unhooks herself from it. "Would you mind taking in the birdseed? I'll get the plates and baskets."

"Not at all." I nod and grab the half-empty bag. "I saw a few other birds but do you have any crows? I love crows."

"Crows are typically more independent but they come by when I leave out peanuts or other food. I'm sure we could get a few to come by." She braces the plates against her side in her wings and takes the handles of the baskets in her mouth. "Leth go."

I follow her out of the shed and then close the door behind us. "Right behind you." We walk in through the back door of the cottage and into the kitchen.

She sets the baskets on the small kitchen table and then goes to put the plates in the sink. "Would you mind setting the bag in the pantry? Mr. Bluejay likes to be bad and get into it. Even though he knows he shouldn't." She gives a disapproving look over her shoulder at a light blue and white painted birdhouse hanging from the ceiling.

"Of course." I walk over to set the bag in the pantry.

"Can you also grab the flour, baking powder, and sugar, please? I'm going to get started on breakfast."

"Of course," I repeat and search the surprisingly roomy and well-stocked pantry for the requested ingredients. I quickly find them, grab the assorted bags, and walk back out with them.

I look up from the pantry door handle after opening the door and see Fluttershy leaning against the counter with her forelegs in the sink quietly humming the same song from this morning. The morning light coming in through the window shines through her well-brushed mane and off her coat, adding a luminescent sheen to them. My heart flutters as I stare at her, unable to take my eyes away. "Wow…" I whisper.

Fluttershy senses my stare and looks over her shoulder at me. A blush spreads across her face as she quickly breaks eye contact. "D-did you find everything?"

I nod slowly as a cloud floats in front of the sun breaking the spell cast on me. I shake my head and then nod. "Uh y-yeah. Sorry. I did. Got it right here." I awkwardly show the assorted bags in my arms to her.

"Perfect." She smiles and hops off the counter, still blushing. "Set them on the counter and I'll get started." She makes her way over to an oven that looks like it's right out of the 1950s and grabs a skillet.

I walk over to the counter and set the bags down then lean against it. "What can I do to help?"

"While I work on this would you mind checking on Angel Bunny? He didn't eat last night and was a little grumpy this morning."

"Angel Bunny?" I cock my head a bit.

"Angel Bunny is my pet rabbit. He's been with me for a very long time and helps… keep me on track sometimes."

"Oh, okay. I'll go check on him." I shrug and stand back up. I walk out of the kitchen and into the living room I woke up on the floor of. I look around for the rabbit or at least any sign of him.

By the front door is a small bed frame with a pink heart carved into the headboard. Tucked into the covers in a small white rabbit, happily snoozing away. “Aww, I don’t want to wake him up…” I crouch down next to the adorable bed and pet his soft head. “Angel Bunny, it’s time to get up now,” I whisper, trying my best to emulate Fluttershy.

The small bunny slowly opens his eyes and gives a big stretch. He rubs his cheek and then looks over at me. Fear slowly replaces sleepiness as he looks deep into my eyes then he quickly sprints out of the room and into the kitchen. I frown as he sprints out of the room. “Damn it.”

I hear some rodent-like chittering followed by Fluttershy speaking in her soft and motherly voice. "...live here…. not scary… marefriend…" I can barely make out what she's saying, but I swear she said those words.

What the hell is a marefriend? It's gotta be their version of a girlfriend.

I think about this for a moment and smile softly. "She called me her marefriend," I whisper to myself. My heart flutters again and I soon make my way back into the kitchen.

Fluttershy looks up from Angel Bunny, who looks very angry, and at me. "Oh! H-hey! I see you found Angel Bunny."

I nod, looking down at Angel. He's hiding behind her foreleg but is peeking his head out. "I did. I guess he's a little cranky. I don't like being woken up either."

She just nods in agreement and then looks over at the stove, changing the subject. "How many pancakes would you like?"

"I feel like I could eat a dozen, so let's just go with three for now."

"Okay." She nods and turns to the stove, making sure not to step on Angel Bunny while he continues to hide behind her leg and give me the stink eye.

I pull out a chair from the table and sit down. "Thank you for making breakfast. I was getting sick of hospital food."

"Of course. I don't get to make-"

A knock at the door interrupts Fluttershy.

"I got it," I say as I stand up.

"That must be Rainbow Dash."

I nod and make my way to the door. I open the short door and look down at the tired mare in front of me. She looks just as ragged as I'm sure I do. "Hey, Rainbow Dash."

"Hey, Lilly. I see you're hungover too."

I nod and let her in. "Yeah. Struggling this morning. Is Applejack okay? I uh, don't really remember last night."

She walks in and I shut the door behind her. "Last I saw. And I'm not surprised. You two really put some back."

"So I hear. You want some pancakes? Flutters is making some right now."

"Pancakes sound amazing right now."

We walk into the kitchen and Rainbow Dash sits at the small table. "Hey, Fluttershy."

"Good morning, Rainbow Dash. How are you feeling?" Fluttershy asks as she moves a few pancakes to a pink plate.

"Exhausted. Hungover. Sore. Y'know, the usual."

"You really should take better care of yourself."

There's that motherly tone again.

"Yeah yeah. I've heard it all before." Rainbow Dash rolls her eyes and leans back in the chair. "After breakfast, are we going to the Everfree Forest to get your stuff?" She asks as she turns her gaze to me.

"That's the plan," I reply. "I really appreciate you helping us with that, by the way."

"No prob. Not our first foray into the Everfree. Know it like the back of my hoof at this point."

"I remember Nurse Snowflake briefly mentioning it. What's the deal with the forest anyway?"

"It's full of scary stuff, for regular ponies at least. Plus our friend Zecora lives there, so it's not all bad."

"Zecora?"

"She's a zebra. Really weird pony but she's cool enough."

"Huh. Y'know, now that I think about it, there's a really interesting overlap between our worlds. We have ponies and zebras and chickens and stuff, but none of them talk."

"Weird." Rainbow Dash looks a bit too hungover to really care about the intricacies of our worlds but Fluttershy is listening in while she flips a pancake.

"Do humans take care of animals like I do?" Fluttershy asks.

"Kinda? There's some people that work stuff like rehabilitation centers but not like… all wild animals. They fend for themselves, for the most part. Those that aren't pets, at least."

"What do you consider pets?"

"Dogs and cats are the most common. Some people keep birds, rodents, and fish. Stuff like that. Though farms have cattle, chickens, goats, and even horses. No lions, tigers, and bears though."

"Oh my," Fluttershy says softly. "Those poor animals."

"They do fine," I say with a shrug. "Our world is built around survival of the fittest. Those that can take care of themselves pass on their genes. Except for humans. We all try to take care of each other."

Fluttershy nods softly and turns her attention back to a pancake she burnt. Rainbow Dash and I make small talk as breakfast is prepared.

"Okay, everypony. Breakfast is ready!" Fluttershy calls out as she lifts a large plate of pancakes. She walks over and sets it on the table.

Rainbow Dash and I quickly pile them onto our plates as Fluttershy goes back to grab a plate of scrambled eggs and a pitcher of orange juice.

"This looks amazing, Flutters. Thank you." I smile at her as the new dish and pitcher are set on the table.

"Thank you, Lilly. I never get to cook for anypony else, so enjoy."

Rainbow Dash picks up the pitcher and pours us all a glass. She raises her glass for a toast. "To new friends. Among other things."

"To new friends!" We all toast and dig in.