Evil Magic is a Big No No
A bright beam of light pierced through the folds of the Crystal Brighthouse’s many different window shades. Unfortunately for Izzy Moonbow, the self proclaimed “worlds leading craftologist”, she was right in the way of the beam and she hadn’t been wearing any kind of eye covers.
“Ugh, can somepony please close the blinds?”
No response. A worrying thing.
“Hello?” Izzy said as she shot up from her blankets to see that everypony elses bed was mysteriously empty, with an eerie silence surrounding everything around her. “Dang, I really gotta stop staying up so late.” Usually Izzy was the first to awake, but spending the entire night planning out an amazing racecar track for bunnycorns was really important to her at the time.
“Well, they cant be far.” Izzy jumped out of her beg, unicycling the sheets behind her as to look as untidy as possible. She slid down the banister to arrive in the main hall where she ran unt the kitchen, immediately purging the area of all fruit. Izzy made small explosion noises with her mouth as she scarfed down each sugary bunch.
“Oh no! Its the giant purple monster!!!” Elder Bananaphone cried in fear.
“Shes come for us aaaaallllll!!!” Whinnied the Pear Guard.
Suddenly, a great screech and clang rang out across the kitchen. Elder Bananaphone turned to see,,, Appleheart!
“Great elderberries of the Gods! It’s Appleheart, savior of Fruitopia! Liberator of the Veggielands!”
Izzy laughed in defiance to the new foe. “You cannot defeat me, Appleheart! I shall get all of the potassium in Fruitopia! Nopony can stop meee! Mwhahahaha!!!”
Appleheart gave a charming spin and brandished his stemsword. “Haha indeed, Izzy! That is what I shall do when I have vanquished you from this world!” Appleheart lunged at Izzy, swinging his weapon every which way with an intent to stop Izzy on her hunger filled rampage.
“A valiant effort, Applefart! But it is going to take a lot more than-”
Izzy was interupted from her fruit fantasy by the slamming open of the Brighthouses main doors, four tired ponies she had come to know as her friends trotting in. All of the previously levitating fruit plopped to the floor in an untrumphant tie with the denizens of Fruitopia.
“We’ll finish this later, Appleheart.” Izzy hushed under her breath.
“What was that, Izzy?” Sunny made her way to the unicorn, stopping when she saw the odd sight before her. “Hey, why is there fruit all over the floor?”
Izzy nervously giggled. “Iiiiit’s a long story. So, what were you guys doing?”
Sunny sighed in exhaustion. “Apparently somepony forgot to switch off the oven or something and a fire sparked up so me and the others had to help make sure everypony was safe, nothing to crazy. Nopony was hurt thank goodness.”
It was a relief nopony was hurt, but Izzy still felt left out. “You didn’t think to ask for my help?”
Sunny’s eyes sprung open in surprise. “Oh, I didn’t mean it like that, Izzy. You were asleep and it was pretty urgent so you know we just-”
Izzy cut her off before she could say any more. “No, thats fine.” Izzy had felt as though everypony was leaving her behind. Whether it was Discord or it was helping with a housefire she never seemed to be able to help the ones she was the closest to. Everypony else had some kind of ability or knowledge that she just couldn’t compete with. How was her making statues of dry macaroni noodles going to save a foal from a burning building? “I’m just gonna…” Izzy darted her eyes across the room for an excuse to leave the Brighthouse. And then she saw it.
The calendar! It was already December 24th! Only 5 days until Hearths Warming, and she still hadn’t picked out any presents for her friends!
Izzy stormed out of the Brighthouse with a mission, leaving behind a very disheartened Sunny.
“Oh Izzy, I’m so sorry.”
-=-=-=-
Izzy cruised down the streets in her little scooter, dodging pedestrians as she whirled her bike horn and giggled at the mayhem that ensued.
“BEEP BEEEP. Craftologist coming through!”
-SCREEEEEECH- Izzy came to a blaring halt at the smoldering remains of a once great store. Donut Joe-Anns. It had everything a craftologist like her could ever want. Art supplies, crafting tools, and donuts. All of it, gone. For the first time in awhile, Izzy shed a tear. The owner, Donut Jo-Ann, a decendant of the great Donut Joe, sat dejected on a bench nearby.
“Oh, Izzy. I’m sorry, my best customer. But the shops closed for awhile. As you can see, Jo Junior left the oven on and the donuts burnt the place down.” Jo-Ann rolled her eyes. “As soon as that colt gets home… oh, bother. I cant stay mad at him. Insurance claim’ll be coming soon anyway, I can build it back better than ever!”
Izzy might have heard that last part if her mind wasn’t racing 30 miles a minute. If she couldn’t get any supplies, how was she supposed to make any presents? If she didn’t have any donuts to eat, how was she expected to survive the next few months? This was a disaster! A crafting crisis!
“AAAAAAAHHHH!!!” Izzy screamed at the top of her lungs, scaring Jo-Ann a bit. “What am I gonna do, pretty donut lady? I don’t have any supplies! I cant make presents for everypony in Equestria!”
Donut Jo-Ann had to back a bit away from Izzy, who had speedily ran up and gotten into her face. “Well, uh, I suppose you could always just shop at a store or something.”
Although the idea to shop for her friends hadn’t crossed her mind, Izzy found the notion that she would stoop as low as to not make something for her friends as unique as they are. Still it’s not like she really had a choice.
“Expletive.”
-=-=-=-=-
Sunny shoveled another smushed banana in the trash bin. Izzy’s antics around the Brighthouse had always been… difficult to clean up. Still, she was a friend, and as Twilight once said, friends accept other friends flaws.
“I just wish she wasn’t so darn messy about it.”
“Tell me about it.” Zipp had come into the kitchen carrying a few bits of trash to throw away. Sunny stared in confusion at Zipp.
“You can hear what I am thinking?” The question had caused Zipp to scrunch her own muzzle in confusion.
“Is this one of those ‘oh scary pegasi are going to zap your brains out’ things?” Zipp arched her hooves as if she was a big scary monster and giggled a bit. “Becuause no, I didn’t hear your thoughts. I just assumed you were talking about Izzy.”
Sunny shook her head. “I’m just worried for her is all.”
“How so?” Zipp inquired.
“Well, she’s seemed a bit distant lately. I think she might feel as though she doesn’t belong her at the Brighthouse.” Sunny explained.
“Yeah, she did sound a bit hurt earlier.”
Sunny’s eyes widened. “You were listening?”
“Uh, yeah, sorry. Just me being a bit nosy is all. But yeah, I think you are right. Izzy feels left out. But I think I know a way to show her our appreciation...”
“Really?”
“We are going to need streamers. Lots of streamers. I may not be the most creative pony, but I sure know how to throw a party.”
Izzy walked down a moonlit street defeated. She had hoped to find something that her friends would like, but to no avail. Nighttime came and now she was alone with her thoughts, for not a single pony could be found. There was a strickening silence, one that could only be found in the darkest of cold winter nights. And while the snow was unfamiliar, at least you could make snowmares, a stark contrast to her ability to make anything else. Izzy fashioned one of the lumpy white models with her hooves.
“Maybe I could give everypony a snowmare?” Izzy smiled hopefully, but as if on queue the snowmares head fell off and plopped onto the ground and Izzys smile fell with it. “Oh muffins…”
“You know, I once met a mare who liked to have those every morning. Real eccentric, that one.” Said a voice from the dark.
Izzy jumped back a bit, unaware she was being watched but a deviously curious grin crawled its way on her face. . “Who are you, oh great disembodied voice in the dark? Oh! Do you have muffins?”
“I-… uh…” The voice that called stuttered. He had probably expected a different mood from Izzy. Instead of an answer though, he decided now was the time to pull back the clandestine shroud that surrounded him and jumped under a nearby streetlight. Izzy oggled the new figure, letting out an audible ‘ooh’ at the sight. He stood a bit shorter than the average stallion and a fair bit uglier than the others as well. He sported a rather sleazy looking pinstripe suit and a fedora. He happily made his way to Izzy, reaching a hoof out. “Alright then, let me get straight to the point. My name is Zamboni Toni. I sell stuff, stuff ponies want. Thing is, I don’t take bits-”
“Oh, thats good, because I don’t got a lot of those.” Izzy giggled and nodded towards Toni.
“Er, well anyway. I don’t take bits, no, I take a little bit of your soul…” Toni trailed off at the end.
“What?” Izzy said.
Toni scratched the back of his neck. “I said I need just an eensy teensy bit, now mind you, very small, insignifigant even, part of your soul. Nownownow, I know that may sound bad, but trust me, its totally cool. Just sold a guy a new house!”
“Oh cool!” Izzy smiled deep, although she had an aching question. “Whats a soul?”
Toni matched Izzys devious grin, however it was not curiosity that had caused it. “Lets not get hung up on the specifics. You need presents, and I can do that. All you need to do is,” Toni magically manifested a pen and paper. “is sign right here.”
“Oh okay! Thats easy! I can sign like a pro.” Izzy waved her hooves around a bit goofy like, although Toni just shrugged and shoved the paper in Izzys face. She immediately signed it, not even thinking about reading the very simple contract that laid out just what she was doing. Unbeknownst to her, she hadn’t signed away just a small portion of her soul, but the entire thing. And not only that, but the items she would get in turn would be cursed! It was a horrible deal!
Toni scoffed in amusement. “Really? That easy, huh? Well, I guess it just means less work for me. Geronimo!” Toni cast a spell on Izzy, which opened up a small green portal in which the stallion promptly jumped into and came out of moments later holding a similarly green orb in tow. He looked at it, dissapointed. “Not gonna lie to you kid, kinda small. You sure you don’t got nothing hidden around in there?” Toni got on his hinds to gaze back into the green void but came back down shortly.
“Well, when I was just a little filly I may have traded a little bit of this funny green ‘soul’ stuff to some forest faireys that said they would give me magic. Pfft, totally got scammed!”
“What?! Seriously? Are you some kind of… look, never mind. This soul isn’t much to take, just have it back.” Toni began to toss the small orb back but Izzy stopped him.
“Pleeease mister funny green magic stallion! I need this!” Izzy tried to give her best impression of a begging puppy. Zamboni Toni shooed her away though.
“Look kid I gotta get a moving, I guess I could give you SOMETHING. Here, take these.” Toni clapped his hooves and four crudely assembled boxes manifested themselves out of thin air. “You happy now? Get lost.” Toni clapped again and before Izzy knew it he had dissipated into the night.”
“Oh goody! I cant believe they were so cheap!” Izzy collected the four small boxes and made her way over to the Lighthouse. All the lights were off and the air surrounding the lighthouse was as quiet as the streets.
Izzy creaked the door open as to not make too much sound. Everypony was probably sleeping upstairs after all. “Sneaky mode activated!” She quietly whispered as she crouched down low and started to do her best impression of the Objective Not Completablle theme song.
“Dun dun dun DUN dun dun dun duh-!” Izzy would have completed her sneaky antics if it weren’t for the sudden flood of light and cheers around her. Her eyes lit up like the sun as she smiled at the many ponies that had made their way to the lighthouse, and if the giant sign that stated as such that hung over the banister would suggest were correct, they were all there to thank her.
Sunny trotted up to Izzy holding a balloon in her hoof. “Hey Izzy! Look, I know you haven’t exactly been feeling great lately, so we all got together to throw you a party!”
Izzy’s eyes grew larger than the sun with a smile to match. She was overjoyed and hugged Sunny tightly, causing the mare to gasp a bit. “Oh wow! I wasn’t expecting this!” Izzy pulled her own presents out of her saddlebag, hoofing the first one to Sunny. “Here, I went and ot you all presents! Sorry I couldn’t make them myself, Donut Jo-Anns burnt down.”
“Oh that’s fine Izzy. We’ll appreciate them all the same. Here, lets see-”
A green miasma of soul energy burst from the box Sunny was holding. In unison, the other boxes followed suit and soon the entire room was filled with a green otherworldly glow. At first the ponies thought that it was some kind of unicorn magic light show, but soon smiles and cheers were replaced with screams of terror as the cloud of dark energy consumed each pony in the lighthouse, all except for Izzy, who could do nothing but look on in terror as her friends were swallowed whole.
“No! Whats happening?” Izzy yelled in desparation.
Sunny tried zapping the cloud with a bolt of alicorn magic, but only succeeded in shooting the trashcan in the kitchen as the bolt harmlessly flew through, causing an explosion of ruined fruits to hit everywhere in the kitchen. “Izzy! Help us!”
“NOOOOOO!” Izzy screamed once more.
Soon, everypony in the room was vaporized. The dark was lonely. Izzy was left crying, trying to find her friends to no avail. Only one pony occupied her mind though.
“Toni”
---
Toni sat back in his armchair and sighed. Maybe this whole soul business wasn’t something he would like to do for much longer. He had taken so many, he had a one way ticket to the coziest room in Tartarus just waiting for him. But it was always so depressing. Sure, he was the best to ever do it, but all of his ‘clents’ were left completely ruined.
“Is there truly anypony so lonely as I?” Toni dramatically flared his hoof as he poured another cup up grape juice, his third this evening. He thought about this whole ordeal a bit more. Why should he ruin ponies lives? Why not help those around him? Maybe then, and only then, would he ever truly earn the forgiveness of his peers, and maybe make a friend out of them. Maybe he could build an orphanage, or donate to cancer research! Yes!
Toni vaulted from his armchair, smiling with glee as he tossed his cup into a nearby hearthsfire. “Yes, I could travel these lands in search of a lifechanging device! Or help those in need find better days! I could-” Toni was cut off by an earcracking noise. A glowing Izzy Moonbow floated steadily outside his once door. She had attempted to not, but by the sheer force of her anger and determination she had cllapsed the entire wall. Cold winter air rushed inside and blew out any candles and fires that lit up the room, leaving only Izzy for that job.
“GIVE ME BACK MY FRIENDS!” Her voice boomed and reverberated throughout the small cottage. Her hair was glowing brilliantly in the night sky.
“Look, I can give you your friends back, just give me time!” Toni was not lying. Indeed, the spell for which to return the living to the world was one that could take even an experienced spellcaster days, if not weeks of preparation.
“NO!!! I NEED THEM NOOOW!”
“Oh spaghetti noodles…”
Izzy began to grow in power by the second. Some might say she had become Super Izzy God Super Izzy levels of power. The earth warped and broke around her as she prepared an attack not seen in Equestria since the fateful battle between Tirek and Twilight Sparkle.
“HAAAAAAAMEEEEEE!!!”
Toni held up a small pan as a shield.
“HAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!”
Toni weeped in sorrow for what his actions had wrought.
“HIDOUKEN!!!” A giant laser leapt forth from Izzy’s powerful hooves. Space and time were bent around the sheer power of the beam. Griffons all the way in Griffonia could see the laser as it tore its way into space through the infinite beyond. Truly, nopony was as powerful as Izzy unleashed. Toni as a conept, as a person, as a pony, never existed. Any damage he may have caused in his life was erased from the history books. Any actions he took existed nevermore.
Izzy had learned a very important lesson this night. ‘Violence solves all of your problems’.
With the timeline reset, Izzy returned to the Lighthouse for a joyous party. Everypony seemed a bit happier, a bit more magical. Nopony remembered the whole vaporization thing for it had technically never occurred. And so everypony partied. Through the night and into the morning, ponies slowly left until it was just Izzy and her four friends sleeping in their beds.
FIN
Author's Note
I think it should go without saying, but violence is decidedly NOT the answer to all of your problems. Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day!
