Author's Note

Special thanks to everyone reading my little piece of high-speed dumpster fire tragedy, especially those of you who took an interest in it from the side-works and read it all. While it wont be necessary for you newcomers to read the side-stories, this story will allude to them some more, and clarify a few subjects brought up in them.

Now sit back and watch the fire burn a bit yeah?

You Are (Not) Safe

Appleoosa was quiet.

Not a single soul dared to leave their homes after the news trickled out from Canterlot. The town that was filled with hard work from sun-up to sun-down was still. There were unpicked apples, and fields only partially watered. Everyone had decided that they would have to hunker down for their safety. Not a foal was to leave the safety of the watchful eyes of the adults, and every pony kept weary eyes open as they waited, and waited, to see if a changeling swarm would descend upon them too.

In the silence, the squealing of metal grinding upon metal rang out as the train stopped at the local station, cutting through murmurs of fear hidden behind walls as the brakes engaged, too roughly, too quickly, as the train was forcefully jockeyed and stopped with a screech.

Inside, the two changelings made way to move, and the train doors opened as a white one staggered out, and the ghost of Chrysalis followed him. As quickly as the train had braked, it began to chug along, and with a single bellow of its horn, it departed.

Appleoosa was still.

And Alyosha flopped out onto his face on the platform. If his chitin were still soft as putty, he'd have something far more serious than a few hairline crack on his snout.

"Up on your hooves. You can do better."

Green magic righted him, and he stumbled around where none could see him, except for a Ticketmaster in his booth wisely deciding to keep his head down. Chrysalis was annoyed, Alyosha was a mess- and so far she was fortunate that nobody had decided to attempt to show up to bravely stop the changelings. The local constable was elsewhere and occupied, and nobody in their right mind would try to show up a heavily armed invading army of changelings.

Demoralized. All was right and according to plan.

"Drones. Gamma-One, Gamma-Two. Assist him. Five and six, clear the path." Chrysalis ordered.

Alyosha stumbled away from the platform, his body still weak and soft from recently undergoing his change. He was in no condition to fight, especially since his powers were still immature and his body undeveloped. Chrysalis was frustrated by his current state, a frustration she chose to not unleash upon any pony.

For now.

The drones obeyed their master's command without question, moving quickly to assist Alyosha and clear a path for him. They had one goal in mind: to ensure that their escort through Appleoosa went exactly as planned.

Alyosha was a major investment. And his survival was paramount. Chrysalis, in her ghostly form- took point as the spearhead of the group, with the drones forming around him.

Everyone present was essential for protecting Alyosha and ensuring that his survival was guaranteed. They formed up around him like a shield, protecting him with their bodies and guarding him from any potential attacks or threats. Their numbers were enough to intimidate anyone who might consider challenging them too.

The group made their way through the quiet town of Appleoosa, making as little noise as possible. The drones scanned the surroundings, keeping a watchful eye for any potential threats. The town was eerily quiet, with only the sounds of their own hooves breaking the silence. The ponies of Appleoosa were hiding in their homes, too fearful to go out. They did not know what awaited them if they stepped out, and they did not want to find out.

Alyosha stumbled and swayed, and the group kept him on his hooves. The path through Appleoosa was without anything notable- not a single pony insofar had dared to stand up against them.

Just a bit longer and his safety and security would be well and truly guaranteed, beneath the surface and behind the walls of the Hive.

As the changelings continued their journey through Appleoosa, Chrysalis couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction. It had been almost far too easy thus far, with no resistance or unexpected complications to interfere with her plans. And yet she couldn't help but feel her excitement build at the thought of finally securing her investment's protection and safety inside the Central Hive.

A heart of gold reforged by the powers of the sun and moon- an obedient and willing rook had been placed on the board. The power to reshape the world.

And it would all be for nothing if he were to be captured, or worse- killed.

His escorts, as well as Chrysalis, saw it as their mission to protect him and ensure his safe arrival back to the Hive, where he could be sheltered and shielded from the rest of the pony world.

Even though Equestria had suffered a devastating blow in the form of the loss of Princesses Celestia and Luna, Chrysalis knew that she could not risk dawdling around for too long. The elements, and more importantly Twilight Sparkle, were bound to discover a lead to her plan sooner or later, and then they would surely attempt to unravel Alyosha to return the two princesses. For her to successfully ensure the long-term safety and protection of her investment, she needed to act quickly and decisively.

The first steps of a plan were generally the most influential.

Meanwhile, Alyosha stared at the world around him with wide eyes, taking in the sight of a world he was still mostly unfamiliar with. Confused and disoriented, sights and smells that were so near and yet so far away. Burning memories.

While Alyosha stared at the world, starry-eyed like a newborn, Chrysalis asked questions.

"Gamma-Two. Distance from flight zone?"

"14 kilometers, my queen." Gamma-Two replied, keeping a close eye on the distance that separated the group from the changeling flight zone. Chrysalis was making sure to stay vigilant, ensuring that no one would interfere with their journey.

"Farther than expected," Chrysalis muttered. "Is Beta company here as instructed? We may need them here sooner than expected."

"Yes, my queen. Beta company is at the perimeter of the town, awaiting your orders." Gamma-Two replied.

Chrysalis was concerned that their journey through Appleoosa was taking longer than expected. It seemed like the town was further from the secure flight zone than she had anticipated. She also realized that Beta Company might be needed sooner than she had originally planned. Things were not going according to schedule, and she needed to adjust her plan accordingly. There was no way they'd make it with a flightless and ground-bound grub for even half of that distance.

"Tell Beta company to scramble. We're taking flight early and I want nobody in this backwater town tracing us." She paused and turned to more nearly cookie-cutter drones. "Gamma-Three, Gamma-Four, you'll handle Alyosha's flight."

"As you command, my queen." Gamma-Two communicated the message to Beta Company and waited for them to scramble and get ready for an early departure.

Gamma-Three and Gamma-Four acknowledged the order, and they would be responsible for handling Alyosha's flight out of Appleoosa. Literally. Unable to fly without exhausting his meager amount of blood and dwindling reserves of magic, they needed to make sure that the young changeling made it back to the Central Hive safely and securely. The mission was of top priority, and they could not afford any mishaps or delays.

"Gamma-One, Gamma-Two. You're with me. The rest of the drones, secure the perimeter." Chrysalis ordered, leaving Gamma-One and Gamma-Two at her side as the three of them prepared to leave Appleoosa.

The other drones would take up perimeter security duties, ensuring that no one could come in or out of the town without their permission. The drones made up the majority of the strike force, all with the same goal: to ensure the safe relocation of their young changeling companion.

The changeling strike force created a fog of chaos and distraction wherever they went, raising confusion and fear amongst the inhabitants of Appleoosa. As if spawning in from the shadows themselves the population of Beta Company wrought upon the town the pandemonium needed for the rest of them to leave.

Alyosha was still starry-eyed despite all the chaos and commotion, remaining a vulnerable and innocent figure amidst the mayhem, the eye of the storm. Chrysalis couldn't help but feel a tinge of sympathy for the young changeling, who was being whisked away just when he was beginning to adjust to his new identity. But she knew it was necessary, and his long-term survival took priority over all else.

She took a deep breath as it all took flight like dust in the wind.

Chrysalis couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia. Between the shouting and the silence; some things, indeed, never changed.

...

Within the next three hours of flight, between babbling brooks and deep scars that cracked the earth- they had made it. And in record time no less, to a barren wasteland of hot sandstone and thin 'topsoil'.

The Hive.

They had managed to avoid detection or any serious incidents during their journey from Appleoosa to the hive, keeping their precious young asset safe and sound. It had not been an easy trek, but it had been a successful one.

The changelings were finally back at their home base, and they could breathe easy knowing that Alyosha was safe within the walls of the Central Hive.

They descended down a hidden path-way, a dark tunnel like an open maw that led them into the outermost echelon of the hive. Things were lit sparsely, glowing gelatinous bulbs and crystals made up most of the green lighting, used wherever it was truly needed.

While some might have expected some above-ground fortress, the changelings had chosen to utilize the underground sandstone layers as the foundation for their home, excavating deep into the earth to create a vast underground fortress. It was a strategic choice that allowed them to remain hidden and protected from any possible threats from above. The pathways made from resin and stone were tall but narrow, and were imposing and claustrophobic to anything that couldn't fly.

Alyosha took in all of the sights of the Central Hive with a sense of cold nostalgia. He couldn't help but recall the memories of his time imprisoned in a stuffy flask, or even as a mere flower.

However, this current version of the hive was different, and it did not evoke the same warmth or nostalgia that he had felt when he had last visited it. There was a sense of wonder, something that could never be scrubbed away- but it was tainted by estrangement. It was like visiting an old friend's home and seeing that things were no longer where they used to be. An empty kennel where the childhood dog once was. The carpets have changed, the furniture moved and new, and the wallpaper dulled and peeling.

He remembered how this had once been the closest thing he ever had to a home. Not his real home, but it was safe, and there was life just- buzzing throughout the whole facility. You could hear it. Hear it inside the walls, feel in it the ground itself.

But now, that warmth that it had once exuded had long since disappeared. Instead, the hive now felt cold and hollow, devoid of any comfort or solace that it had once offered to him during the darkest of times.

This wasn't Home. It was A home. The closest thing he ever had to a home. But there was no warmth here. The fire was gone.

He did not feel at ease here. The rush of internal chemistry coursing through his body and the fragmented memories of past events from the time he had been caught in between life and death all combined to leave his mind in a state of fog. He stumbled away from the group in a daze, unable to process everything that the hive brought up in him.

While Alyosha struggled to make sense of his memories and emotions, he was approached by one of the drones that had accompanied him on the journey.

"Young lord," the drone spoke in its monotone voice. "Are you in need of assistance?"

Alyosha had been lost in the rush of his memories, trying to make sense of them and reconcile them with his present state. However, the drone's words brought him back to the present.

Lord? I am no lord.

Then, more memories pieced themselves together- and stayed together. He was lord, he was technically using Chrysalis' body. Did that make them related now? They did feel a little together then, like... Like siblings. Was that the right word?

Then his head decided it had thought too hard and too long, and his brain felt like a hot iron had been run through it for a split second. Slipping between clarity under duress and haze in calm was a strain in more ways than one.

"I... I'll be fine." Alyosha said, wincing.

"I-I'll be fine." He repeated to the drone, his voice still wavering slightly as his brain processed the sudden rush of thoughts and memories. He might have been firmer this time- but so was his pain.

"Are you certain, Lord Alyosha?" The drone asked, a note of genuine concern in its tone.

Chrysalis's drones were made to remain loyal and obedient to her at all times, so it was no surprise that it would show such concern for the young changeling. Especially when his exterior didn't look all that healthy. Blood coming from one eye is rarely a pretty sight.

"Y-yes. I need... to recollect myself." He spoke softly.

The drone nodded politely, then backed away, giving Alyosha the space he requested.

Unfortunately, however, the drones still also obeyed Chrysalis, and far too soon she had cut into the conversation the second a moment of weakness was present.

"Gamma-One." She began. "Please escort Alyosha to my chambers for the time being. The rest of you are dismissed. Consider your squadron dissolved for the time being."

"Yes, my queen." Gamma-One obeyed the order, stepping forward to approach Alyosha and usher him to follow.

Once the other drones had been dismissed, Gamma-One motioned for the young changeling to come with it. The drones remained loyal to Chrysalis, and they would obey her orders without question. Gamma-One's task now was to escort Alyosha to the queen's private chambers to ensure his safety and well-being.

And of course, he continued to stumble on blindly through the tunnels.

As he stumbled through the tunnels, following Gamma-One's direction through winding tracks and past chips in the... glass? He began to notice the subtle differences between this hive and the one that he had once known.

Changes that his mind had not yet fully grasped. The lighting was dim compared to the way it used to be, and the architecture seemed less precise and carefully crafted. It was more organic and utilitarian as if it had been built to prioritize functionality over form. Great works that had been stolen- pirated and reinvented were absent and lacking.

The changes were unsettling, and they made him feel as if he was no longer in a familiar place. He was wandering blindly through tunnels that he had once known so intimately, normal as the water to a fish, and now seemed so alien.

Even if his sight remained unimpaired, the world around him felt dull, muted, and foreign. The lights, the walls, the architecture—everything was unrecognizable to him. The designs seemed to be built to achieve function over form, rather than emphasizing beauty or elegance. The structures grown and carved, reductive, not additive.

Indeed, this was no hive that he had ever known.

As Alyosha struggled to make sense of the strange world around him, Gamma-One led him through the complex labyrinth of tunnels that made up the Central Hive. The hive was vast and sprawling, with winding tunnels that seemed to go on forever.

Gamma-One moved quickly, making sure to move swiftly yet carefully so as not to confuse or overwhelm Alyosha too much. The drone was aware of how unsettling the hive had become to the young changeling, and it did not want to make it worse for him.

At long last they came before an atrium, or a space. Whatever it was it was a wider path than the typical tunnels, and there was a carved door.

After walking for what felt like hours through the winding tunnels of the Central Hive, Gamma-One finally led them to an atrium. The atrium was a wide open space, much wider than most of the tunnels they had traversed. And in the center of the atrium was a carved door.

The drone stopped in front of the door, motioning for Alyosha to step forward.

Alyosha stepped forward. The handle was silver, or some other shimmering metal. Or was it organic? Rainbows danced on it in the dim light, pearlescent. Iridescent? Like nacre.

The carving. Mockery of brick, imitation- a reinvention of baroque. Renaissance. Like someone sculpted as they pleased and let the mind fill in the details.

He opened it and went inside the queen's quarters.

When the carved door swung open, revealing the queen's quarters, Alyosha stepped inside. He was in an unfamiliar place, but he felt a subtle sense of familiarity around him. Perhaps he had been here before, but his mind and memories remained hazy.

Alyosha took a deep breath, closing his eyes and his flower of an otherwise non-existent eye, to achieve a sense of calm and clarity in the dulled and muddied environment of this new hive. His memory was still hazy and fragmented, but he needed time to collect himself and bring some sharpness into the dulled environment.

He sat down on one of the chairs in the queen's chambers and tried to focus his thoughts. He needed time to sort through the chaos and make sense of everything.

Another deep breath. He needed calm. Clarity. Just a bit of time.

The young changeling focused on the chair he was sitting on, exploring the texture of the cushions, the fabric and fibers that made it up. The cushions were made of a soft, spongy material that felt similar to a glob of dried acrylic or soft clay. Like gelatin, or maybe foam? Over it, was something made finely. So fine, made up of many threads. Silken. Insect silk. Fine fabric.

Everything in this world felt unfamiliar, and his memories were still hazy. But he could still process the world around him for what it was, albeit through a lens of mild confusion.

He could call himself a changeling. In technicality he was. No, he was a changeling in body. But this wasn't his original body. He'd been transmuted, transubstantiated- whatever other words for transform were, several times. But he knew that he was a human.

The young changeling could barely reconcile where his original body and memories began, and where they ended- blended together with a medley of pain and joys from a dozen others- But he was still a human. And he was also a changeling. Yet, he was only one in body, not in soul.

And a voice cut through his miasma of thoughts like fire.

"I thought you would have taken the bed." Was the words of Chrysalis. Her ghost was surrounded by thin wisps of green flame as she took her spot on the bed. For how long, he had no idea, he had only just now opened his eyes again.

"That bed belongs to you." Was his response. His voice was young, distinctly male, and hardly aggressive.

Smoothly, she replied. "Yet you use my body."

“Yet you gave me your body.” He said quickly.

Alyosha had no intention of being aggressive with the queen, but he was also not going to back down from the statement.

Chrysalis remained silent for a moment, observing the young changeling as he sat still in her quarters. Her ghostly presence was intimidating to even the most stalwart of creatures, but Alyosha was not intimidated. He was not willing to back down, to admit wrong or to submit to her.

'...That's a strange thought. We are equals. We are friends.'

After a moment of silence, she finally spoke again. “I did give you my body. But that does not change the fact that that bed belongs to me.”

Alyosha’s response was a simple affirmation. “That is true.”

“So why did you not take the bed?” she asked.

Alyosha was not one for rhetorical questions or implied meaning- though he did absolutely lovethe concept, the idea, of symbolism. Whenever she asked him a direct question like that, he answered it directly. If she had wanted him to take the bed, she should have ordered him to do so.

Or did she mean that was hers was his?

“You did not order me to take the bed.”

She frowned for a moment, not knowing how to respond to this. He was correct, of course. She had not directly commanded him to take the bed. And yet, it seemed like such a simple and obvious conclusion to make. How could he justify it any other way?

“Why did you not take the bed?” she repeated, this time with a hint of genuine curiosity in her voice.

“I felt more comfortable in a chair.” he answered simply.

Chrysalis blinked in surprise. It was such a straightforward and almost mundane answer. She had expected him to have some witty retort or elaborate justification, but he was completely straightforward.

She considered whether to press him further, but there was truly no need to continue with this line of questioning. This was just how he was, or how he could be. “You may stay in the chair then.” Chrysalis said plainly.

He nodded a bit, then fidgeted with his chitin. It felt weird, having hooves. And a physical body. The young changeling was still getting used to his new body, including the hooves and other physical attributes. For the longest time, he had been nothing more than a shadow, a formless entity without a physical presence. The sudden transition to a physical body was jarring.

"Did you... Want me to take the bed?" He asked.

Chrysalis considered his response with a slight frown. She had expected him to be more eager or receptive to her suggestion that he take the bed.

She studied him for a moment longer, then let out a small breath. She didn't really have a reason to press him further on the matter. If he was comfortable sitting in the chair, then there was no need to force him to move. He was not exactly her prisoner.

She paused for a moment, searching for something to say. "Is there anything you need?"

Alyosha was not one for small talk or inconsequential chatter. His answer was predictable and to the point. "No."

Chrysalis frowned again, slightly surprised at his brief reply. But if he said he needed nothing, who was she to dispute him? It was not like she wanted to micromanage every aspect of his life.

She paused for another moment, waiting for him to continue the conversation. But when he said nothing more, she was content to leave the silence hanging between them.

...

“Is there something you wish to ask?” she asked after a few minutes of silent reflection.

Alyosha had stayed quiet since the start of the conversation, his mind still wrestling with the confusion and haze he felt. He was not the sort to lead conversation or initiate questions of his own. But he was willing to answer those asked of him.

It was also important for him to know where he stood with the queen, especially since she seemed to have expectations for him.

"You've redecorated." He commented.

"I have redecorated." Chrysalis replied without hesitation as if it were the most obvious answer in the world.

The queen's chambers were indeed different than he remembered. Everything was still made of the same smooth organic-like material, and yet the layout also felt entirely new. It had evolved into something different than how he had last seen it.

"Chrysalis. I'm going to have to ask. What happened? My head feels like garbage. I've got all these memories- these things aren't mine..."

"Many things have happened since the last time we spoke," Chrysalis responded solemnly, her ghostly essence pulsing a low ring of green flames as if reflecting her emotions.

"You have experienced many changes, and your memories have been... Warped and fragmented upon transfer to this new body." She continued.

She paused for a moment, her expression deepening before she continued. "I... do not know if I can return you to a state of normalcy. But I will try."

"Normalcy...?" He mumbled. Foreign word. Very foreign. "I... I've got my doubts there, Chrysalis. I wasn't even normal to begin with."

"You are correct in that you have never been normal." Chrysalis replied evenly, without any hint of judgment in her voice. "But you are still you, and I cannot just allow such a drastic change within you to go unaddressed."

She paused for a moment before continuing. "I will do everything in my power to ensure that you remain yourself. Or at least return to a state of yourself similar to how you were before this body transformation."

He sat in the chair in silence, glancing up at a dim crystal that glowed overhead in the ceiling.
"...I think I'd prefer to stay like this. It's better than being a flower. Or a shadow."

The queen's response to his comment surprised Alyosha a bit. He had expected her desire for him to return to his old state of being, his past self. But instead, it seemed that she would be accepting his recent changes and even supporting them.

"If this is the state of being that you prefer, then I will not force you to change."

Chrysalis was a queen, a leader, bound by duty. Still, there was nothing more important to her than maintaining that which she held dear.

There was silence for a little while. Mostly as Alyosha sifted around his memories for something to talk about. They didn't need to, but this felt like the best time to ask questions.

"...How are we going to get you a body?" He asked. The old one was out of the question, considering he'd... Well, he'd torn it open like a chrysalis. He was also certain that it had been left behind in all the commotion.

The queen remained silent for a brief moment, her ethereal essence flickering with the green flames. The question was not one she had expected, and it caught her off-guard.

But Chrysalis knew better than to dismiss him. She was here to guide and advise him, not to avoid his questions. And she understood that her survival, and arguably the survival of the hive, was also at stake.

But it was clear that this would be a slow, gradual process, nothing that would happen overnight. Even with all of the resources that the queen had at her disposal, her powers had limits.

"It will take time, but I will eventually manifest a new body." She explained simply. Though, something about the way she said it made him feel a bit uneasy.

"What will we do in the meantime?" this was something he was genuinely curious about, or as curious as an 'emotionless' shadow creature could be. No, that wasn't right. He had a body now.

"We will continue the work we have already begun." The answer to his question came almost immediately as if the queen had been waiting for him to ask so that she could give this response.

"We will establish a secure foothold in Equestria. We will explore beyond the walls of the chambers and continue the conquest of the territory. Our troops will continue to search for the changeling pods that we already know exist somewhere in the caves. And we will continue to consolidate our power and resources."

Alyosha blinked. Wait. But. Wait- Conquest?

"Conquering? Conquering Equestria? What about the friendly pony colonies I made? The farms? The Pony Zoo?" Alyosha asked frantically. “You- you remember those? Right? You even made one! You named it!”

The queen was taken aback by the sudden burst of emotion from the changeling. His tone of voice and frantic expression spoke volumes about the state of his composure and emotional state.

Chrysalis thought for a moment before responding to his question.

“They were necessary sacrifices.”

"Sacrifices?" He was stunned. "Chrysalis. Chrysalis what happened? What did you do? What did you do to our town?"

“I made some difficult choices.” the queen responded softly but resolutely. “I had no choice in the matter.”

Chrysalis paused for a moment to let the weight of her words sink in. She could see that Alyosha’s confusion and disorientation had given way to shock and anger.

“You must understand. The lives of those ponies… were a worthy sacrifice for the future of our hive.”

“The future of our hive?” his voice was a hushed whisper, as if he could not believe what he heard. He could feel the rage within himself building up, but he had no choice but to remain still and quiet.

“You killed them. You killed them all. And for what? For our hive?”

Alyosha felt like he could no longer keep his anger restrained.

So. Fuck it. He didn't.

"Did you, or did you not kill MY people! Those weren't just any ponies- those were OUR ponies! My ponies!" He snarled. He spat. He damn near broke a leg in anger. A dent was left in the cushion that went to the chair's solid base.

"I raised those ponies. I tore myself up into pieces over them. You'd better have had a damn good reason for killing off so many or I'll kill myself."

“They were necessary sacrifices,” the queen repeated more sharply this time. But even her tone was no match for his, as he was seething with fury behind the shadow of his hooves.

Chrysalis knew that she had a delicate situation on her hands, one that could only be solved through careful dialogue or outright conflict. She had expected a response like this, but not so early. Not so soon.

“Do not talk of such things.” she said, her tone shifting back to a softer level.

“You will not tell me what I can and cannot speak about.” Alyosha said coldly, the fire burning behind his eyes as he tried even harder to stifle his rage.

“They were MY ponies,” he continued, “and you slaughtered them. So I ask again, was it necessary? Was it really the only option?”

“It was the only reasonable option.” the queen replied in kind, standing her ground in the face of his anger and hostility. She did not appreciate him questioning her judgment or the sacrifices she had made for the survival and prosperity of her people.

“What exactly did you expect me to do? Let them live on the surface, away from the hive, where they would surely perish from the dangers of their new environment?”

“They might have survived.” Alyosha’s eyes narrowed. He was determined to press the queen on the matter. “Or did you even consider that possibility?”

“Perhaps. But I could not take that risk. Not when it came to the survival of our race, the Hive. I had to make the right choice, one that would ensure their safety in the long term.”

She paused for a moment before lowering her voice. “Please understand why I had to make that decision.”

“I will not understand!” The changeling lashed out, nearly knocking over the chair in front of him. He still had not moved from his seat, but that did not mean that he was not seething with rage at this point. “How could you so easily kill the ponies that I raised, the ponies that I loved?!”

“Because I had no choice!” the queen snapped, her anger finally overtaking her. “You are not the only being that felt pain when those ponies died. Every changeling in my hive shed tears for them, for their deaths, and for the sacrifices that they had made. Do you think I did not mourn their passing as well?!”

“No, you have no idea! You think you know what it felt like, but you do not!” Chrysalis glared at the changeling sharply, a bit shaken by her own loss of calm.

“My entire life, I have spent working to improve our hive and provide for your needs and all the other changelings and even your blasted ponies in my care. And when we finally found a way to sustain our population, when we finally found a solution to our dire situation, you… you…”

"YOU. DIED!" She screeched.

The chair creaked, and Alyosha flinched.

"YOU. YOU TRUSTED IN THEM. I TRUSTED IN YOU. AND YOU GOT YOURSELF, KILLED!"

The changeling’s hearts skipped a beat as the queen’s anger overtook her. He could not move, could not even breathe, as he watched her lash out with that same level of rage and fury that he had felt a moment ago.

Chrysalis had never been one for such displays of emotion, the cold stratagem of the table- unmoving pillar, but she now let her anger out in a sudden burst as she screamed at him. The force of her voice was so unexpected that it caught him off guard, though it was clearly more than just her voice that was affecting him. Waves of violent emotion, crushing thoughts.

She panted in ragged breath, split second composure that she feigned within instances of rage and ill-repressed grief.

"I saw the first time you died, Angel. And for everything, I understood. I understood the trust you have in me. But what I cannot understand, is your attachment, your inability- your weakness."

Chrysalis eyes stared him down, as her head remained high and tilted upward.

"How could you have ever trusted in them knowing that they would have killed you again?"

“I…” the changeling stumbled over his words. He wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to what the queen had said.

It was true that he had trusted in those ponies, and that trust might have been misguided. But it was also true that he had grown attached to them, despite everything. He could not deny that he had cared, and still cared, deeply.

“I wanted to believe that they were capable of change,” he finally offered as an answer to her question.

“I thought that maybe they could be redeemed, that they could make amends for their past deeds and become better ponies.”

There was a faint note of sadness in his tone, both because he had been so mistaken and because he knew how far those hopes and beliefs had gotten him.

"I thought maybe. Maybe I was ready this time. I thought the first time was a fluke."

He spoke bitterly. He was a child, if that word still meant anything, somewhere inside of that garbled mess of thousands that was called a brain. He felt a tingle in the eyes, tear ducts never once overstimulated for a higher function burned, nostrils itched and twitched and leaked disgustingly, disgustingly emotional, disgustingly human.

“Perhaps it was foolish of me to continue clinging onto that hope, even after everything that had happened.”

Alyosha’s words were tinged with a bit of self-doubt. He had not intended to make this mistake. But he had held onto his hopes, even when they seemed impossible.

“I thought that maybe, just maybe, things would be different.”

He needed to speak faster. Eye hurts.

"I thought I was ready. Ready to stay out of the tower. I thought I could finally walk free."

He didn't want to cry. He didn't want to let the queen see him cry. He could not allow that, or she might think him weak.

So he swallowed back his tears, trying his best to remain stoic and detached. Even as his breath came out in short, harsh spurts, he resisted the urge to give in to the wave of grief that was consuming him.

Keeping a steady voice, he would try to continue. The mind was crystal clear, cutting through the fog of watery agony and tides of remorse and regret that crashed upon him. But his was voice, was not steady. He could force the words through, but it was broken and choppy like his breath.

The mind detached. Organic again.

"My... my trust was misplaced... and... and I paid for that mistake..."

His voice broke again, as tears streamed down his eyes like rivers and he finally gave into his grief, unable to fight it back anymore. His words were still spoken in a detached way, but even that detached way was itself a sign of detachment from the situation, as the changeling continued to separate himself from the overwhelming wave of emotions running through his heart.

Tears falling down at the party.

Saddest little baby in the room.

Separation failure. His mind was safe and sound with a paragon of unsound logics and codes, calming scriptures and blind eyes. Not a moment, never a moment for wrath.

But the meat, the meat shackled him down to the earth. Corroded the ramshackle irons that he carried around like armor. Break down.

The pain was physical now, as much as it was mental. His whole world was crashing down around him, the grief and the sadness and the anger boiling in his chest like burning tar.

"It's all my fault... I shouldn't have tried... I shouldn't have trusted..."

His words were almost incoherent now, as he struggled to get his thoughts out through the sobs that were shaking his whole body.

Tears streaming down with no parlay. You're the saddest little baby of a boon.

Pain flows out from the body, bindings and twitchings, lungs like waterbound knots. Those aren't meant to bend. Eyes stinging from salted water. What a waste of material. Hearts fluttering like trapped dogs, barking furiously behind the bending bars of a ribcage.

He was not just crying now, he was sobbing. His grief was overwhelming, his heart breaking and shattering into a million pieces, each one of which was piercing his chest with a thousand daggers.

His body heaved with each hiccup that escaped him, his throat burning and stinging as the tears continued to flood from his eyes.

He felt so small right now, like a helpless, wailing infant. He couldn't do anything but cry...

Silence demeaning. Don't just stare, scream, tell me I'm wrong. Tell me it's all in my head. Manufacturer's defects aren't covered by the warranty

Foreign biology operated mismatched connections, malfunctioned operations and smooth functions. He didn't want to be like this, this wailing mewling thing- but it just kept doing it. He just kept doing it, kept crying. Useless. Annoying.

"It's all my fault." the changeling whimpered softly, his voice broken and trembling.

He was a wailing, mewling thing, a pathetic, annoying creature. His heart was pounding in his chest like it did in a nightmare. The changeling looked up at the queen with tear-filled eyes, his cheeks and nose running and dripping with liquid sadness. He was a sight to behold, and that sight would have disgusted the queen had she cared enough to look at him.

The sobs kept coming, and he could not seem to stop them. He knew that he was being pathetic, a whiny little kid that could not control his emotions.

"I tried to change them," the changeling continued in a trembling voice, "I did, I did. But..."

He was trying to justify what he had previously claimed was his fault, but the words just kept flooding out of his mouth like a torrent.

Like paper wasps, needles found their way someone deep in his brain, it's a betrayal of the seceded union. Injections of emotion, of loss and longing of a bygone age and of soot and ash and choking smoke and pleasant campfires and boiling light. Hot flashes of memory and atrocity found its way to the front of his mind.

The changeling’s mind was a raging battlefield, and the memories that surfaced now were the shrapnel wounds that ravaged his heart.

He could still remember the firelight of their campfires, the pleasant smell of their food, and the warmth and comfort of the other lives around him.

But he could also recall the suffering, the struggle and the fear. The heat of the inferno, the smoke and ash. The memories of their pain continued to bombard him, all while the tears streaming down his face only worsened his situation.

Alabaster like baked bones. Was it worth it? Descending from the heavens had a price.

A voice gurgled in his throat and died there. Nothing to speak. Inability to speak. Couldn't speak.

His lips moved, but no words came out. His throat felt like a closed door, his vocal cords refusing to vibrate as he desperately tried to explain himself or make the queen understand.

His emotions were still overwhelming, his breath still short and sharp. He wanted to say something, anything... but it just wasn't coming out.

It was as if an invisible force was constricting his throat and preventing him from speaking, a force that he was powerless to resist.

He wanted to scream, to shout, to somehow find a way to express himself. He wanted to say something, but even the most basic of words were eluding him now.

His lips moved, but no sound came out.

The silence was deafening. Couldn't she just-

TELL ME IM NOT SPEAKING LOUD ENOUGH. TELL ME TO STOP MUMBLING. TELL ME. TELL ME.

-say something anything?

The changeling felt as if his throat had slammed shut altogether. He couldn't speak, but that didn't stop him from screaming inside.

TALK TO ME, DAMN YOU!! TELL ME WHAT I'M DOING WRONG!

His mouth tried to move, but no voice came out. He felt like he was going insane.

WHY AREN’T YOUR LIPS MOVING DAMN IT? SAY SOMETHING!! WHY CAN’T YOU JUST TALK???

The changeling felt like he was going crazy. He felt so angry. He felt so powerless. He felt like he was trapped inside his own body, with no way out. No way of speaking, no way of conveying the sheer magnitude of his feelings and frustration.

Wrath of a silent sea, wailing of a fallen songbird. There's a half dozen words in a half a thousand tongues, but not a single one could he speak that could convey. No matter what word he could speak there was always something- ~~missing~~

Silence.

A roaring, howling, seething, deafening silence that overwhelmed the changeling. The changeling felt as if he was being smothered in it, buried alive by its all-encompassing abyss. All the sounds around him had been stripped away, and the changeling was now nothing more than a voice floating in this desolate emptiness.

All he could hear was his own thoughts, flooding in like a torrent. His anger, his frustration, his sadness. The changeling felt like he was losing his mind.

His emotions were overpowering him, and he felt like he could no longer control them.

In the midst of this emotional breakdown, he felt himself growing angry.

He wanted to talk, to shout, to scream. Feel how the brain plays around. As he fell into a hole he couldn't see.

No way. No words, no mouth, no voice. As he fell inside a hole inside a-

Anger was not an emotion that was common for changelings to feel, but that didn't stop Alyosha from feeling it now. And he fell inside a hole he couldn’t see.

The silence was overwhelming. Someone help me-

Chrysalis watched as the changeling continued to sob. She remained silent as she watched him break down. He had always been one to suppress his emotions and act calm and composed, even when the situation demanded that he feel otherwise.

But this time, the queen did not hold her tongue. She felt her anger rising up within her, and she let it consume her.

"STOP THIS." she commanded. Her tone was stern, but there was also a hint of pain in her voice.

Chrysalis had not meant to let her anger get the best of her, but it had all come out in an explosion at the changeling. She had never yelled at him like that before, but she could not help it. The pain that she had experienced as a result of his death was too much for her to bear, and it had taken over her thoughts.

The changeling flinched as he heard Chrysalis yell at him, but he continued to cry nonetheless. He was beyond the point of reason, and all he could do now was sob and cry like the pathetic creature he was. But now, he was silent. Tears streamed down his white chitin unending like gentle creaks.

She was so beautiful.

She was so strong.

She was so angry.

The anger that had consumed her mind was overwhelming her, and she could no longer contain it. It took over her thoughts, and she spoke out without thinking.

"YOU WILL STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY." Chrysalis ordered. Her voice was loud, but there was a hint of pain in her tone as she continued.

"I know that you have suffered a great loss. I know that your heart has been torn apart. I know that your entire world has been shattered, and that everything that you once knew and held dear has been taken from you."

She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath as she tried to maintain control of herself. "But that is no excuse for this behavior."

Her tone shifted slightly, from anger to something softer, a bit more sympathetic.

"Please. Calm down. It's not worth crying over something that you can't change. It's over. It's all over."

Chrysalis spoke with an almost sympathetic voice as she tried to reason with him, even if it did not change the fact that he was still crying.

"This is not the way to honor their memory." she continued.

"They are gone. They are no longer in this world, and they will never return. Do you understand? There is nothing that you can do to bring them back. You cannot change the past. You have to let them go."

He knew she was right. He knew that there was nothing he could do now. But he could still see the fire, still hear the screaming of the ponies in his head. It was all so real, so fresh and painful, but he knew that none of it was real.

He stared at a descending silver blade aimed for his head, a flash of a battlefield one moment, and the next he was hiding behind wood in the armoury of a family as a soldier searched up and down. And he nodded.

All of what he had seen was real. But what he was seeing now, was not. It was a memory.

His memories had been fragmented and hazy since the day that he had died, but some were clearer than others.

The ponies had all died. His creations had died. He knew this, he had seen them burn. He had been them as they burned. He had felt their terror, their anguish, their fear.

And it all seemed so real, like it had happened only yesterday.

But it had happened years ago. Centuries, even.

Chrysalis's voice finally cut through the haze of his memories, pulling him back to the present moment.

He knew that he could not change the past. He knew that there was no use in crying over it. But it didn't mean he didn't feel any sadness or pain. He did, but he had no choice but to push those feelings aside.

The changeling sighed softly, struggling to calm himself as he felt his sobs start to subside. His throat hurt, and his voice felt raw. He could still taste the tears in his mouth, but at least he could breathe a little easier.

"I... I'm sorry," he finally said, his voice soft and hoarse, "I didn't mean to-"

He had to pause for a moment to catch his breath.

"I didn't mean to break down like that. I didn't mean to get angry at you. I... I should have controlled myself."

His voice was still soft and hoarse, but at least it was steady enough for him to continue speaking. He wiped the tears away from his face, leaving streaks in his chitin where they had rolled down his cheeks.

Chrysalis nodded as he spoke, listening carefully to what he had to say. She did not respond to his apology, as she knew that he meant what he said. She could not hold it against him.

"There is no need for apologies. This is a difficult time for you, and it is only natural to experience such emotions." she finally said.

She was not one to offer comfort, and she would be more than happy to simply let the matter drop. But she also knew that he would never let himself forget the ponies, or his own mistakes.

"You need time to heal. Time to recover." she added.

The changeling nodded a bit, taking another deep breath. The air in the room still felt tense and heavy, and he could sense the queen's unease. He was feeling anxious, but he did his best to conceal his emotions. He did not want the queen to be concerned about him. But that was easier said than done. Nowhere in his fractured brain existed a guide to living as a changeling.

"I... I suppose you are right," he said quietly, "I just... I just feel so lost right now."

The queen was silent as he spoke, listening carefully as she studied his every word.

"I know that I can never bring them back," he continued, "I know that I cannot change what happened. But that doesn't stop me from feeling... sad about it all."

Chrysalis thought for a moment. She knew that he needed time to heal, and she wanted to give that time to him. But she also knew that there was work to be done.

"You are right, but it does not change the fact that you must move on from this tragedy."

She paused for a moment before continuing. "You have to let them go, so that you can move on. They are gone, but their deaths were not in vain. They did not die without reason. Their sacrifice helped us survive, and helped our race prosper. It is because of them that we have been able to advance the hive so far, and it is because of them that our race will one day rule Equestria."

The queen spoke softly, but her voice was full of conviction. She knew that what she was saying was true, and she wanted him to realize this as well.

She paused for another moment, choosing her next words carefully. "You cannot change the past. You have to accept what has happened and move on."

"I don't want you to not cry over the loss of your children, or to mourn their passing. You have earned the right to feel grief over their deaths. But you have to move on from this. It will do you no good to dwell on what happened."

The changeling thought for a moment as he listened to what the queen had to say.

"You're right. I know you're right." he finally replied, "I'm just..."

Futures not in my hands.

Going on and on and on-

Im so scared-

"I'm scared."

The changeling hesitated for a moment, not sure if he should continue. "I don't want to make the same mistakes again."

He was so scared. Scared of repeating the same mistakes. He didn't want to repeat the same errors again, not when his children, wallflowers, lungblossom, friends had suffered the same fate as before.

His mind flashed back to the ponies again, as he saw them burning in his head.

Do they slumber?

So many, many dead.

And what is that?

So much sadness.

"What if I don't want to move on?" he continued, his voice quiet. "What if I don't want to move past it? What if I want to keep dwelling on it? What then?"

"I don't know. I wish that I could tell you," the queen responded honestly, "But I am not a mind reader. You will have to find your own answer to that question."

She paused for a moment before adding: "You are stronger than you know, Angel. If there is anything you are capable of, it is to let go of your past and move forward. But you need to take some time to yourself and decide what you really want. You must think about your future, and what you wish to do with your life."

The queen paused once more. "I am giving you this time, but I do not wish to be cruel. You do not have forever to think about these matters. But I want you to take this time to yourself. You do not have to speak of this to anyone else, but you must figure out how to move on with your life. I understand that this is difficult for you, but you must try to move forward. I know that this will not be easy for you, but I want you to try to put the past behind you."

Alyosha was silent for a long time as the queen spoke. Her words struck him deep in his heart, and he knew that she was right. He didn't want to dwell on the past anymore, and he knew that he couldn't allow himself to.

Doctor I can't tell if I'm not me.

He didn't know what the future held for him, but he was going to try his hardest to put the past behind him. The past had already happened, and there was no going back now.

He needed to move on from his past, to try to make amends and put it all behind him. And he knew that Chrysalis was right. If he didn't do something now, he would never be able to put it behind him.

Joy mirage, your kingdom come.

No one left at stake.

"Thank you."

It took the changeling a few moments to muster up the courage to thank the queen. He wanted to do something to show her his appreciation, but he didn't know what that would be.

Your existence is on the wake.

Let's see what we can make.

Chrysalis nodded as he spoke, giving a small nod of acknowledgement. "I am not doing this for your gratitude. This is for the benefit of both you and the hive."

The queen studied the changeling carefully, searching his eyes for any signs of discontent or confusion. Difficulty clouded any glances she took, magical perception and physical perception troubled by staring at a chaotic yet harmonious blend of systems of emotions entertwined and tangled.

"Now. You must go." Her eyes turned towards the door.

"Rest, for your health is my concern." She said, a small amount of compassion bleeding in. "In the morning you will be moved to another location where you will be able to recuperate."

She looked back towards him. "Do you understand?"

Alyosha's brow- some flexible chitin, twitched slightly, and he gave the queen a slight frown.

"I understand." He replied hesitantly.

His gaze returned to the ground. He wanted to say something, anything.

"Chrysalis, I-"

Silence.

"I..."

No words, no voice.

"Thank you for everything," he said, his voice soft and low, "I mean it. Thank you."

Alyosha looked up at the queen one last time. "I don't know if I'll be able to make it, but I'll try. For you, I'll try."

He hesitated for a moment.

"Goodbye," he finally said, his voice quiet. "For now."

He turned towards the door, then paused and looked back one last time.

"Thank you, Chrysalis."

Chrysalis remained silent for a moment.

"Thank you, Angel."

Silence.

With that, the changeling exited the room and closed the door behind him, leaving the queen alone in the room. But of course, none of that happened.

It was far easier to allow delirium to play out and guide the mind here and there in gentle directions, and so as he moved to open the door- she struck him with a fainting spell. Completely harmless and shot so fast there was hardly even a noticeable flash of light, let alone an impact.

Alyosha staggered as he was suddenly overcome by a wave of dizziness, his vision suddenly fading and blurring around the edges as he fought to maintain his balance.

A small smile played at the edge of his mouth, a smile that showed a hint of both sadness and relief. Some part knew what Chrysalis had done, and he was grateful for it. But it also left him with a strange, conflicting feeling within his chest.

He wasn't sure what he thought of the queen's decision, but he understood why she had done it. She was trying to protect him, and he couldn't blame her for that. She was trying to protect the hive, and he was a part of it.

With a soft sigh, Alyosha leaned against the wall, and slid down to the ragged silken carpet below. He didn't even know where to begin thinking about what had just happened.

He knew that he was safe now, and that Chrysalis cared for him. She cared for all of her people.

Alyosha was there sleeping on the floor. Long flower infested mane spilled out like blood, blues and reds flowing freely, contrasting against worn yet sparkling green beneath. His breaths came out in gentle creaks, but even as they faded they remained audible and perplexing. The weight of his thoughts was not easily moved, but they would be no match for the fainting spell she cast.

Idiot.

She called him that. She thought he was an idiot. A child who did not know any better. Someone who was incapable of learning. Someone who was incompetent. A child. He was a child.

A changeling.

His eyelids fluttered as he stared blankly at the wall, and he closed his eyes again as he let out a sigh of defeat.

What would he be if he wasn't a child?

Nothing.

Just a shadow in the flask again.