The Irrational Desire Of A Cookie

by mauve

Rating: everyone
Tags: Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Mystery, Comedy, Random, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1976

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Pinkie has the answer -- her familiar, lavender friend.

Twilight was dying. OK, not really -- but she was getting to her breaking point. The chaotic schedule of her day had given her no time to talk with friends, nor get a bite to eat. Fortunately, at that very moment, The Sugarcube Corner laid in front of her eyes -- but unfortunately, it was closed. Out of desperation, she sneaks into the establishment and steals a cookie from Pinkie's Cookie Jar.

Will she get caught by Pinkie Pie? Will it break their friendship? Find out by reading this short story!

This story was written for the Quills and Sofa's Fic Exchange Event. The prompt for this story was from Buttery Biscuit. Feedback is very much appreciated -- good and bad.

Published 2023-01-03 22:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-01-03 22:30:00 UTC

The Irrational Desire Of A Cookie

“Alright Twilight,” she whispered to herself, “Keep yourself calm, and composed. You can get through the day just fine.”

She was, in reality, not taking the day ‘just fine.’ It was absolutely miserable. The chaotic schedule of her day had given her no time to talk with friends, nor get a bite to eat. The knot in her stomach grew tighter and tighter – with each pull weaking her more and more.

Fortunately, at that very moment, The Sugarcube Corner laid in front of her eyes. If Twilight had enough energy to squeal, she would’ve. She had just enough time in the day to get to the bakery and grab something – ANYTHING – to satisfy her growing hunger.

Just one slight, miniscule problem:

It was closed today.

“No…” she mumbled. She couldn’t take anymore of this! She had to get her treasure, her precious – through any means necessary…

“Even if that means breaking into the Sugarcube Corner.”

“Yes, I know, it – it’s absolutely the wrong thing to do! It’s Mr. and Mrs. Cake property, and there’s no one there to take my bits, so I have to leave without… maybe I could leave some on the counter – But what if they don’t see the bits? What about the whole ‘breaking and entering’ thing? Oh Celestia, please forgive me now for what I’m about to do!”

Twilight rambled on and on about her ordeal. Passerby stared at her like she had antlers, and mothers hurried their foals away as she started salivating. “I need… I need something.”

She quickly looked around her surroundings, and dashed to the establishment. With a few quick turns, she ended up at the back of the bakery.

“One Cookie?” Applejack questioned.

“Yes, a cookie! What is so hard to understand about this? We need to find Twilight!” Pinkie vowed, “She stole and ate a cookie from Mr. Jar, and we have to confront her about it! There needs to be repercussions!”

Applejack felt quite complexed about Pinkie’s claim. Sure, Twilight had been a bit of a maniac on a few occasions – that rodeo with the child’s toy was bad enough – but a single cookie? Repercussions? “Mr. Jar?”

“Yes, Mr. Jar! The cookie jar that sits beside the Sugarcube counter?”

“I don’t remember a jar… But are ya’ absolutely sure that Twilight stole this cookie? It could’ve been any other unicorn in Ponyville!” cautioned Applejack.

“Mr. Jar told me all about it. And I know exactly what Twilight was doing that day – she was doing a lot of STUFF. And STUFF equals madness without a quick snack! And do you know what was closed yesterday? The Sugarcube Corner!”

“How do you know she was doing, uh, ‘stuff’?”

“Did you see her yesterday? Walking sluggishly? With bags of books on each side?” Pinkie said, “She looked famished! And while I don’t blame her for wanting something to fuel her empty stomach, I do blame her for eating one of Mr. Jar’s babies!”

“Now now,” Applejack began, “Let’s not be talking about eating foals. Don’t call it that.”

“But they are!”

Applejack shook her head, “Anywho… I guess we gotta at least ask Twilight if she knows anything. Assuming it isn’t her, cause without any certainty we can’t be sure.”

“That’s where you’re wrong!” Pinkie exclaimed, “There’s something at the bakery which can surely trace her to the crime scene!” Pinkie then grabbed Applejack and dashed to the Sugarcube Corner – with Applejack yelping along the way for her to slow down.

Creeeeeeeeak. The door revealed an array of storage boxes. Dark, dusty – but neat. A bright, brilliant raspberry lightened up the room as Twilight went hoofstep by hoofstep into the kitchen. She continued to look back and forth, weary of her surroundings – except the floor, where there was a conveniently placed banana peel right below Twilight.

She yelped, trying to catch herself but failed. Falling, falling into one of the last storage boxes she had to pass – which, unfortunately, was full of flour. She gulped as a cloud of white blinded her vision, producing a coughing fit as the powder spread itself across the room.

She gave herself a quick moment to let the artificial fog melt before she attempted to get back up. Now shaking, she rubbed the flour off her eyes to find herself in front of the Sugarcube kitchen. Forgetting her last ordeal altogether for the taste of a scrumptious snack, Twilight dashed to the cupboards for a quick, well, anything.

“Cakes, Cupcakes, and Eggs…” Twilight listed on the top of her head, trying to find any number of them with no avail. She grunted, flashing through each cabinet and drawer in search of anything – with her efforts foiled by utensils, ingredients, and the spare crumb or two – which she promptly ate.

Not satisfied, she started looking around the main area for anything, anything to make her trip worthwhile, to be anything but a waste of –

Behold.

“Look over here, Applejack! Clear as day!”

In front of both ponies was a pool of flour surrounded by caution tape, with clear signs of hoof marks and an imprint of a pony’s flank left behind.

“Oh, that… that really is clear as day,” Applejack sighed. What was left on the imprint of the flank were a familiar set of sparkles – the cutie mark of Twilight Sparkle. Applejack couldn’t believe it. Would Twilight really do something like this to a friend?

“Well, anypony grows dire in the hungriest of fits. It doesn’t eliminate them from their misdeeds, but that doesn’t mean we’re any less of friends,” Pinkie explained.

“How’d you know I was thinking that?”

“Thinking what?”

Applejack, while bewildered, shrugged off her question as she looked around the accident. Bags of flour were scattered around the premises, with an empty storage box found a few inches away from the incident. She carefully stepped around the caution tape, looking once more at the crime scene before looking back at Pinkie.

“Did she leave any more behind?”

“Nope!” smiled Pinkie. She pranced to the kitchen, “Well, other than the opened drawers and such. She couldn’t find anything, though. Well, except for a crumb or two. She would think no pony would notice – but not this pony!” She confidently pointed at herself with pride.

“Well, since we know the culprit, then – now’s the time to find her, huh?”

“Yes,” Pinkie smiled. She was going to bring justice to Mr. Jar – and no pony is going to stop her!

A wooden door slowly opened behind her, creaking once more.

Luscious. Delegate. Beholding.

Those were the few of many words that Twilight repeated to herself as a curved, smooth, and enchanted jar sat upon the Sugarcube counter. Her eyes twitched back and forth to the small details of the jar – the noticeable pattern of colors; the crumbs of a universal treat to ponies all over; the clear label which faced her – it spelled out, for her, the holy grail of snacks: A cookie jar.

She almost danced like a ballerina on her way to the jar. The knot in her stomach ceased to be. She dreamt of the flavor; she dreamed of the crunch. She dreamt of warmth; she dreamt of love. After a quick indulgence of dreams, she started to carefully remove the top of the jar. While left out on the counter, the steam and smell had laid dormant yet alive under its protection. Twilight sniffed and sighed with relief as she lit up her unicorn to lift up a single Chocolate Chip Cookie.

Instead of admiring such a cookie for a prolonged period – she went right into business. With the quick succession of bites, she finished the helpless cookie in one swift motion. She sunk in pleasure, silently squirming over the taste of the chocolate. Pinkie sure knew how to cook her cookies, huh?

Wait.

“Pinkie.” Twilight dawned.

What was just before the emotion of relief and pleasure became distraught and fear. “Oh Celestia, Pinkie!” She panicked once more; not for her hunger but for her actions. She had told herself, she told herself that she would face consequences from this. Pinkie would find out and her friends would find out and –

“ – And Celestia would find out, my parents would find out, Ponyville would find out… When they find out they’ll send me back home, they’ll ostracize me back into Canterlot – They’ll send me to… “

Twilight stopped herself before she said the forbidden words of banishment with crayons.

“Remain calm!” Twilight screamed at herself, “Remain. Calm. Find somewhere to hide. Find, find – somewhere!”

Mature Twilight would own up to her mistake. But mature Twilight was not there at the moment. She pointed herself to the nearby closet. She threw herself into said closet. She hyperventilated until she heard nothing more, nothing more than her own snoring.

Inch by inch the two ponies approached the widening door. Applejack leaned back as Pinkie leaned forward; both curious, but opposite in confidence. Pinkie grinned, looking back at Applejack to assure her of the fastening conclusion. Applejack gulped.

Pop goes the weasel. The mental crickets ceased to be – a small groan was heard instead. In an arched flick, the closet door slammed open to reveal a curled, furred shade of lavender. It shook its head to look above, rubbing their eyes to be clear of what bestowed upon thou.

The ‘it’ was she, and she was Twilight Sparkle.

Pinkie smiled. Applejack frowned. Twilight trembled. Oh, she trembled. She was concerned. Frightened. Sorrowed. Contemplated. Waited. But like a flick of a switch, she stopped the overwhelming emotions and looked down in shame:

“I’m sorry Pinkie,” Twilight said.

“Say sorry to Mr. Jar as well, Twilight.”

Twilight turned to look at Mr. Jar, “I’m sorry Mr. Jar.”

A pause. The air was somehow angry.

“Don’t worry,” Pinkie assured, helping Twilight up and out of the closet. “He’ll come around when he comes around.”

Twilight took a deep breath. She looked at Pinkie – now smiling.

“Now, next time when you’re in a hurry and want a quick snack – Please don’t be afraid to come by knocking! No matter where-ever or when-ever I am, I’ll always come in a jiffy!” Pinkie jogged in place.

“I guess It’s time to write that letter to Celestia now, huh?” Applejack intervened.

Twilight nodded. “Indeed it is.”

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today – Or rather, yesterday – I made one of the worst mistakes in recent memory. I stole from the Sugarcube Corner. Without permission nor patience, I snuck in and stole – and then ate – one of Pinkie’s Chocolate Chip Cookies. I apologized to Pinkie, and apologized to Mr. jar; but I also learned something very valuable from this occasion other than the obvious ‘Do Not Break In Establishments’ thing: Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Because as long as you have the right kind of friends, they will be by your side and help you with your troubles – even if it seems impossible.

From your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle.

Author's Note

I was never confident enough to finish a story that had some resemblance of a structure. I was scared of making and knowing my own mistakes -- I was scared that I would never learn from my mistakes. But maybe I shouldn't of thought of that as a beginner. Perhaps you shouldn't think too hard about it. Being afraid does no good; as Twilight said in her letter.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. Even if you're asking yourself. Happy new year.

Here's a document which showcases the various drafts and ideas I had during this story.