What Kinda Drink?

by Visharo

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Hitch Trailblazer, My Little Pony: A New Generation, Random, Alphabittle, Narcotics, Izzy Moonbow, Alternate Universe, Sunny Starscout
Length: 1035

Izzy leads her new friends to the local unicorn bar...wait no, I meant teahouse!

The G5 Movie is not canon.

Izzy Moonbow finally has some friends! Earth Ponies, Hitch and Sunny. What to do with new friends? Lead them to the local pub! Wait, did I say pub? Nooooo, I meant teahouse! Yes, teahouse!

Potential triggers: Underaged drinking

Published 2023-01-03 23:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-01-03 23:20:00 UTC

The Only Chapter!

Izzy led her new friends through some branches and bushes until they reached a large opening. Sunny and Hitch gazed around in awe, treehouses and crystals littered the outside of the clearing and at the very end...

"The pub!" Sunny squealed excitedly. "I've never been to a unicorn pub before! This is so exciting!"

"Umm, actually it's a teahouse..." Izzy pointed with a hoof to the big teapot sign at the front that said The Crystal Tea Room. The teahouse itself was very quaint, two doors inlaid with colored glass that were built into the side of a sloping tree. Branches laden with red leaves drooped around and above the doors. "Eh, it doesn't matter! I finally have friends! We can hang out and play games and unicycle things and have sleepovers and...!"

"Hold on Izzy, this is going very fast for me!" Hitch pawed the ground a bit, then whipped around to the small unicorn next to him. "Wait, this is a pub! We are underaged!"

"Oh Hitch, you heard what she said! It's a teahouse!" Sunny giggled and started marching to the door with Izzy close behind her. Hitch could only trot after them, suddenly getting a really bad vibe.

***

Inside was absolutely homey, right up Sunny's alley. The whole building seemed to be inside a massive tree with stained glass windows to look outside. Tables and cushions were laid out sporadically for patrons and several were filled. In the back, there was a stage with two ponies performing. A mare with a beret seemed to be sprouting poetry while the stallion with the green afro was playing bongos to accompany.

While Sunny and Hitch took it all in, Izzy walked up to the counter and had to hoist herself up to one of the barstools. A large gray unicorn trotted over to her and they seemed to be in a whispered discussion. It suddenly stopped when Sunny finally snapped herself out of her dazed stupor and wandered over as well. It didn't take long for Hitch to follow as well.

"Well well well, two little earth ponies in my teahouse, isn't that a sight!" The stallion laughed heartily. "My name is Alphabittle and I have only one question. What kinda drink do you kids want?" While speaking he loomed over the countertop to peer over the slightly terrified Sunny and Hitch. It took several stutters and swallowing before anypony could make a word.

"I-I would like an apple juice...please?" Hitch stammered, sweat perspiring on his brow. Izzy giggled at him while staying atop her perch.

"Sure, and you?

"Um, I will have a martini. Gin, not vodka, obviously, stirred for 10 seconds whilst glancing at an unopened bottle of vermouth." The teahouse went quiet for a second, the three ponies around her especially. The way she said it also gave the impression that she has asked for this multiple times.

"Uhh, right little filly. It'll only be a jiffy." Alphabittle slid away with a concerned look on his face. The noise around them slowly went back to what it was before

"Wow Sunny! That's pretty heavy stuff, I could never be that brave. I only go with lighter things like this mojito." Izzy smiled as she lifted a glass filled with exactly that. Hitch's mouth fell open. "I just loooove mojitos! They taste so good."

"Wha-what! H-how? Underage! Us! Foals! Bar? Whaaaat..." Hitch spluttered around before falling to his haunches, his forehooves cradling his head. "This can't be happening. It doesn't make sense. Yes, this must be a dream. A dream..."

"Is he okay?" Izzy peered curiously at Sunny, her ears wiggling at the colt quietly weeping on the floor. "Should we help him?"

"If this continues for a little longer, we'll help him." Sunny smiled and heaved herself up to the seat next to the unicorn filly.

"Okay." Izzy sipped her mojito before asking. "Hey, that order was intense and very professional. Who'd you learn that from?"

"Oh, this sweetest stallion called Eggsy!" Sunny giggled. "He's taught me a lot of things, hey, what about you? Mojito?"

"Oh, eheh, funny story. So, I sat down at this bar after a boring lonely day when suddenly this drink was placed in front of me. I didn't know what it was, but it was in front of me, so I drank it. After I drank it, this mare came up to Alphabittle and asked where her mojito was. Alphabittle looked confused and tried to say something but then saw the empty glass in front of me and laughed. That mare was so confused!" Izzy laughed, her cheeks going a little red, no doubt from the alcohol.

"And she asks for a mojito everytime she comes here." Alphabittle said and placed the two drinks on the countertop. "Here is your martini, per your instructions, and the apple juice for the...colt. Is he okay?"

Izzy and Sunny looked behind them to see Hitch in the same position, they turned back to Alphabittle and shrugged. He peered curiously at the two fillies and then shrugged back. After sweeping some of the countertop with a wet rag, he trotted off to serve another customer, leaving the two fillies with their drinks.

"Say, this has been fun. I'm glad you brought us here." Sunny said through sips. The martini was stellar, almost as good as the one at the bar in Maretime Bay.

"I'm happy too! Let's do this again sometime, but maybe without Hitch." The two fillies looked at the body behind them again and giggled.

"Deal."

***

The three foals were walking back from the Crystal Tea House, two of which were flushed and sweating but had big grins plastered on their muzzles. The third just had a very confused/concerned look about him. He kept on muttering about alcohol and bars and being underaged. His companions paid him no mind.

It wasn't before long till they arrived at Casa Izzy, which the two fillies leapt inside and collapsed on the couch.

Author's Note

Some references. :)
This was some weird idea that just popped into my head when I saw this picture on EQD. Hoped you enjoyed!

Happy 2023!