From Beyond the Veil
Natures Therapy
Previous ChapterIt's been a week, and it's a very quiet one at that. Every since Celestia and Shining's last visit, I've stopped going to the bar to drink and just bought bottles of the usual stuff I drink. That way, I don't bring any more attention to myself. Romulus barely talks to me now, at least since I used that override on him. And by barely talking to me, I mean socially talking to me. I've been stuck inside with the guy, but he only responds to orders and tasks. He doesn't talk, talk to me anymore. Doesn't say good morning, doesn't ask me how im doing, none of that. To be fair, this has allowed me to tunnel vision my work without having to worry about socializing. But I never realized how much I would notice, let alone miss it. The worst part is I understand why he's doing it, and I would expect him to. I did literally override his soul to essentially fuck off about a week ago.
But, to be frank, I'm slowly losing it. My nightmares are becoming increasingly frequent and more intense to the point where im staying up later and later. Not to mention, my need for whiskey has turned into a daily chore rather than just a social thing. I even forged myself a hip flask, which Twilight made a comment on during our last session yesterday. I brushed it off and moved on with the lesson, only for me to be so unmotivated that I ended up cutting it short about an hour and a half early.
I've also started reworking and rearranging how the forge runs for maximum efficiency. To the point where I got tired of only being able to run two machines at a time. So, this week's main project has been dedicated to making a new specter. It's not something as fancy as Romulus's model, but it's one of the standard factory models that could help run things. Of course, though, I'd need a little over a dozen for maximum efficiency, but we'll get there. But first, I had to finish soldering this new Specter's optical motherboard together.
I was sitting at the elongated workbench with the Specter's body stretched out over it. Its head panel was open, and my soldering iron was deep inside its head as I worked away on the motherboard. My left eye was closed as I gazed through a magnifying lens over my right eye, similar to that of the lens gem appraisers use to see the value of gemstones. But for precise soldering. Fresh sent of heated solder filled my nose as the tip of the soldering rod sparked onto the motherboard.
I leaned back in my chair as I finished my work. I flipped up the lens and exhaled deeply. "Finally, done," I said and quickly welded the Specter's head shut.
I stretched myself out to reach a metal-encased power cable hanging on the opposite side of the workbench.
"Okay, pray to the elements I wired everything right," I said aloud as I plugged the cable into the back of the Specter's head. The cable quickly lit up with a blue light that traveled into the Specter repetitively, Signifying a transfer of power. The Specter's eyes quickly lit up with a bright white light, and it slowly sat up.
"Okay, so far so good. Administrative login, Rileus Aromas Maximus. Prince of Romulios. Emergency boot code, R-E-A-4-9-7. " I announced to the Specter.
It sat silently for a few seconds before responding in a deep, stereotypical robotic voice. "Administrative login accepted. Greetings, Your Majesty. Initiating emergency bootup protocols."
"Cool, that part is done." I got up from my chair and left the Specter to sit and charge for a while. I returned to the forge where Romulus was at work on another order, and he hammered away at a piece of hot metal.
"Romulus, whenever you finish with that, go ahead and work your magic with the Specter back there. He's ready to go once his data is downloaded and fully charged." I said as I walked past him towards my workstation.
"Understood." He responded coldly as he continued to hammer away at the metal.
"Once you get him ready to work, set him up to make a few dozen more specters. Also, add to your personal list to make your multidirectional specter hub, um, control whatcha call it." I added as I sat down and picked up a list of orders off my bulletin board, which sat above my workbench.
"Understood. Is there anything else?" Respond as he hung his hammer on a hook attached to the anvil and moved the hot metal blade he was working on to quench it.
"Yeah, Did you make the required modifications to the Frontier yesterday per my request?" I asked as I sat down and got to work stitching together the padding for a guard's helmet.
"Yes, the Frontier is now upgraded and programmed to scan and detect High-Density Primal Magic signatures over a maximum range of thirty-three klicks, or just over 20 miles, depending on the aircraft's height. The optimal scanning height for maximum effective scanning radius would be at commercial flight cruizing altitude. Preferably forty-two-thousand feet." Romulus explained as he moved the blade to the grindstone to work on giving it its edge.
"Understood," I responded.
After that conversation, we worked in silence for a few moments before the heat got to me. Normally, the dry heat of the forge this high up the mountain wouldn't bug me. But it felt sticky and wet, like the humidity was rising. So I rolled my chair over to the lever and opened the three large service counter windows to try and get some airflow. Only for me to see the sky was darkened with clouds, and cool, crisp, rain-freshened air flowed through the windows and up my nostrils. It was incredibly relaxing to smell after not smelling it for so long.
"Romulus, did it rain today?" I asked as I stood up and leaned out the window to see ponies outside hurrying their trots to get inside.
"Not yet. It's been gloomy like that all morning. The Canterlot forecast says they were overdue for some rain. It's just taken a while for the spells to gather enough clouds to bring us some. Celestia employed the help of Rainbowdash, the local weather pony of ponyville, and a few of the wonderbolts to help gather some extra clouds from ponyville and send them up our way. Should start pouring anytime now."
As if on queue, a crackling roar of thunder ripped out as lighting soared through the sky above Canterlot. I watched as the first coat of heavy rain poured down from the sky and hit the streets. The Ponies that were still outside quickly went from fast trots to full sprints as they pulled out their umbrellas and hurried inside or down the street out of view from my forge.
I stopped what I was doing, went to the nearby storage closet, and grabbed a spare camping chair I had Romulus whip up a few months back once the forge got up and running. I took it under my arm, grabbed my father's sword off its mount on the wall, and walked outside. The wood awning hanging off the house kept me dry save for the few larger raindrops that slashed up minimal water onto my ankles. I walked around the outside of the forge to the first service window, where I could see Romulus still working inside, and sat my father's sword on top of the counter. I quickly unfolded my chair, set it up to face the storm, and sat down. I reached around me to my father's sword, removed it from its scabbard, and stabbed it into the ground, facing the storm as well.
I sat there in silence as I watched the storm with my father like we used to. At least, that's what I wanted to think. And my dad, whenever a good lightning storm hit the city, we would sit on one of the castle balconies and watch the lighting and rain. My dad always made time for that whenever a storm rolled in. However, after the war started, those moments were few and far between. It never took him long to start rating the lightning and the thunder that followed. I loved him for that and just being able to make time to hang out, as father and son.
I let out a long sigh I felt like I had been holding in since I crash-landed in Everfree forest. I leaned back in the camping chair and draped my arm over the back of it, finally being able to truly 'relax' for the first time in Elements, no matter how long. I watched as puddles formed in the streets outside my forge. I looked up into the thunderheads above whenever a bright white flash of lightning illuminated the sky and waited for the thunder to grace my ears. I don't know what it was about a casual thunderstorm that was just so calming to me despite the chaos that it sowed. The dim lighting, the rolling thunder, the rain hitting the roof, even the smell of fresh rain. All of it was just so fucking soothing. But, even at this moment, something was missing. Not just my dad, but something else. Then it hit me, yet I couldn't remember its name for my life.
I turned around in my chair and looked at Romulus inside the forge, who had finished his work and was working away on the next hunk of metal in the forge with his hammer.
"Romulus, what was the name of that song I used to listen to while I was alone or when it was raining?" I asked.
Romulus paused and turned to me with a hint of sincerity in his eyes for the first time in a week. "No rain, I believe. Would you like me to put it on, sir?"
"On repeat, please. I'm gonna be out here for a while." I responded, resettling myself back into my chair.
"Of course, sir," Romulus responded.
Almost instantly after, the song started playing over the exterior speakers. I figured the ponies would enjoy some music whenever they passed by the forge, so I installed them on the outside, too, and for this specific reason, I was using them for now.
Now, finally, I had hit the peak. I sank in my chair while also stretching out; my still injured feet slid across the ground and lifted about an inch in the air out past the awning. They were slowly getting wet from the rain. The water was cold yet soothing. I closed my eyes and started humming along to the song as I sat there in a relaxed state of dreaming for what felt like hours. It was more than welcome.
"Enjoying the rain?" I heard a familiar voice hit my ears as I slowly opened my eyes to see Shining Armor looking at me with a content smirk. Situated in his armor with his helmet on within a pink forcefield bubble conjured by his horn. The pink magic shield was covered in water droplets and still pelted by the rain.
"You bet," I responded, closing my eyes again and sitting back up in my chair.
I got comfy and reopened my eyes to see Shining Armor sit beside me on the ground.
"Care if I join you?" He asked as he dropped his force field, took off his helmet with his hooves, and set it on the ground beside him.
"Not at all."
We sat silently for a few moments, watching the storm before Shining spoke again.
"So, I guess you like the rain, huh?" He said with a nervous chuckle.
"It reminds me of home and my dad," I responded.
"You must really love your dad, considering how much everything reminds you of him."
I sat up and leaned forward before responding. "Shining, My dad was my role model, my hero, my everything, including my king. Of course there's a lot of things that remind me of him. But something we'd always do is sit outside during storms like this and just watch. For as long as three to four hours on some occasions. We'd always talk about the lightning and rate it based on how bright it was and how much the thunder rattled our bodies."
I looked over to the sword planted on the ground next to me and rested my hand on its pommel. "There isn't a day that goes by where I don't miss him."
We sat in silence for a few more minutes before Shining asked the big question.
"What happened to him?" He asked, causing my heart to sink in my chest. "I Remember what you said when I threw you onto my back in the Everfree Forest. That sword was the last thing your father gave you before he died. Or at least that's what I assumed you would say based on your body language."
I leaned back in my chair and got choked up rather quickly, my eyes getting watery. Shining took notice of this.
"You don't have to say anything you don't want to, I know it's touchy, but I was just curious!"
I cleared my throat, wiped my eyes, and recomposed myself as best as possible.
"The reason my father and I were working on a ship to break orbit was because our planet was dying." I started, silencing Shining Armor. "The Frontier was as far as we got before our end came. You see, another kingdom in our twelve-kingdom alliance called the 'The Table of Twelve' called Chentual, the kingdom of many. They Resented the Elementals and claimed they were false gods and that mankind should rule the natural world however they see fit to renounce the following of the Elemental's teachings despite the prosperity that came from it. Enough backlash from this kingdom's ideals and arguments with the other kingdoms eventually caused increasing disagreement on customs, trade, and other aspects of our peaceful world."
I paused, taking a moment to watch the rain before continuing. "Eventually, during my people's most sacred event, called the festival of the lost, we dedicate three days to this event. We celebrated the present, the future, and the past in that exact order. The first day was the biggest and was always better than the last; we had a parade, a dragon flight show similar to what the wonderbolts do, the world's biggest feast, and a night full of parting."
I paused again, noticing Romulus had stopped what he was doing and was now listening to the conversation as he leaned against the counter from the inside and also watched the rain.
Nonetheless, I continued. "The second day was a look to the future, where the dragon riders held a ceremony in the town square to find the next generation of dragon riders. The Riders would bring down roughly a dozen dragon eggs to the center of each of the capital cities of each kingdom. Any Child or Teen within the twenty to fifty years of age range could partake in the ceremony. The Child or Teen would place their hand upon each of the eggs for roughly two or three minutes. If the egg hatched, they would be inducted into the Dragon Rider's ranks as a trainee. If they didn't hatch, They would return to their families and continue their lives as normal. My whole life, I wanted to be a Dragon Rider despite my mother's preachings about focusing on my future as king. Yet, I would still partake in every ceremony we had every four years during the festival."
I paused again, prepping myself for the last part. Shining Armor was listening very closely as he noticed the shift on my face to one of sorrow.
"The festival's final day was a look to the past, to reflect on where we came from and how far we've come on life's journey. We would remember those no longer with us through memories and remembrance. Throughout the evening, we would be in the company of our loved ones and make these little boats with a candle on them, and we would put offerings that held those very memories of lost loved ones. At the moon's first light, we sent these boats down the river that flowed through the center of our kingdom into the ocean. Once all the boats had flowed out to sea, once the moon was raised a full sail's length above the horizon. The king of Romulios would use the sort that sits in the ground beside me and plant it in the same slot atop the castle's highest tower where the Elementals first forged it and let loose its power. Where the memories of those trinkets in those boats would come to life and let the spirits of our dead loved ones cross over into the realm of the living until the sun's first light. Letting us live one last night with them until the next festival would come along, and we'd do it all over again."
Shining Armor's eyes went wide as I finished. "Wait, wait, wait, hold up. You're telling me that sword right next to you has the power to let the dead cross into the realm of the living?"
"No, that would be absurd," I responded. Shining's face contorted in confusion. I gave a small chuckle and explained. "It has the power to connect the souls of those in my people's memories to the trinkets that they put in the boats. The power of that link lets the Souls take on a Partial corporeal form. In a very literal sense, the souls of those who died do technically cross the veil into the land of the living for one night. But the magical science behind it I could talk to you about for hours. But in the very short and simple version, the sword brings memory to life for one night so you can tell your loved ones in the afterlife what's been going on in the living world."
"Wow, that's one heck of a celebration," Shining said as he looked up and leaned back against the wall of my forge, deep in thought.
"Yeah, that's why what Chentual did during this sacred event was so horrid and evil that we denounced them as humans."
Shining armor looked back over at me with a look of worry.
"During the last festival I partook in, everything went according to plan until the third and final day. We had just begun placing the boats in the river when it happened." I stopped myself, not sure if I wanted to proceed or not.
"What happened?" Shining asked.
Romulus took my pause to cut in. "Just a quick note before Master Riley continues his tale. During the festival, nobody worked, not even the guards on the walls or anyone in the military for that matter, unless they really wanted to. It was only right that every living human got the chance to partake in the festival."
"Why would I need to know that?" Shining asked.
"Because it makes what Riley is about to tell you that much more cowardly on Chentual's part, we never new what was coming because there was no one on the walls to warn us." Romulus responded.
"What?" Shining was so confused until I spoke.
"Right when we began lowering the small boats into the water, We heard screams as men dressed in full suits of armor bearing Chentual's seal appeared in the city and began slaughtering everyone they could see, no matter if it was man, women, or child," I said whilst clenching my teeth with anger.
Shining's look of shock and horror caught my eye, yet I continued.
"They used improvised explosives to blow open houses and set fire to the infrastructure of the city. They invaded our city during the one time of the year when no one held a weapon. My father was quicker than I was to do anything, as I was frozen in shock and fear. We were on a royal balcony overlooking the whole scene. He Ordered the Dragon riders to take action against the invaders and Told Romulus to activate the emergency automated militia. He ordered everybody who could take up arms against this threat to do so. Even grabbed a blade himself and leaped forth from the balcony to protect his people. Within minutes, the city was in chaos. Families were dead in the streets. Robots like Romulus were fighting with this invading force while everyone was just trying to stay alive. Ultimately, our mages were the tide-turners in this horrid event. As Chentual pretty much outlawed any of its people from using Elemental magic. But it was I who actually gave us the chance to win that night."
Shining armor was horrified. He had no words other than "How?"
"Our chief of security was a traitor. He had opened the main gate remotely inside the castle and let the Enemy in to slaughter our people. My mother, my sister, Romulus, several royal guards, and myself were being escorted to an emergency saferoom inside the castle. When we came across a group of Chentual's men who engaged with the guards. Romulus took my family up to the royal bedroom, as that was the only safe place to go after we were cut off. Romulus wanted to lock us in my mom and dad's bedroom while he got the rest of the automated defenses online. But I refused to sit in a dark room and wait for things to improve. Me and him argued for a bit before I just told him that if I didn't go with him, I'd end up sneaking out and going by myself. Which kinda forced him to take me with him to keep an eye on me. We stopped by my room to grab the suit of armor and the sword I'd been using to practice with since Romulus refused to let me go anywhere without some protection. We made our way down to the lower levels of the castle. Romulus quickly dispatched anyone who got in our way with an energy cannon in his arms that literally turned people to ash through their armor. When we got to the central control hub for the city, the chief of security was there waiting for us."
I paused to take a few seconds to breathe as I'd been going without breathing much this whole story. Thankfully, Romulus took over for the intermission.
"When His Majesty and I got to the control hub, our chief of security, Meifer, used an emergency to override his position, open the main gate, and let Chentual invade the city without difficulty. I made to stop that by overriding his position with my own higher clearance, but he had a device that locked me out of the control hubs database for as long as he was breathing. So, I had to either manually plug into the hub to override his position or kill him. I could have done both rather easily. If a drugged-up super soldier didn't surprise me from behind." Romulus explained.
"Another thing Chentual did to disgrace the Elements. They used illegal methods to enhance their soldiers' ability to be super powerful and resist elemental magic. Which essentially gave people the ability to become immune to nature. Which in it of itself broke several Elemental laws, not to mention gave birth to a new generation of genetically enhanced super soldiers. One of which kept Romulus busy while the chief of security engaged with me in sword-to-sword combat. This was my first real battle outside training. So, I was fighting for my life against an incredibly skilled opponent. There were a few moments during that fight where I thought I was gonna die." I continued.
"But, you're here now, so you must have won! Right?" Shining stated.
"Yes, I did win that fight with the skin of my teeth and had taken several wounds in the process. But I lost my innocence." I responded.
"What does that mean?" Shining asked, confused.
I got frustrated with that question. "SHINING! I had the mental age of a filly at the time this all happened! I was still a child! Imagine if you were a kid with all your childhood bliss and innocence, Was forced into a fight to the death where in the end, you had to desperately shove your blade into your opponent's THROAT and watch blood drip down your blade and onto your face while bleeding from several places on your body. YOU DON'T REALLY COME OUT THE SAME AFTER THAT!" I shouted. All the pent-up rage I had been storing up came out at Shining Armor.
Shining was taken aback, but then he thought about it for a second. He could only nod in agreement when he reached his conclusion.
I decided to finish my story. "Now, after this, Romulus was able to remotely take back control of the defenses of the city, and with that, we were able to drive Chentual's forces out of the city and send them running. We won, at a cost."
"The lives of the innocents that were lost in the battle?" Shining Commented.
"Not just that." I retorted. "When Romulus and I made our way back to the royal bedroom where my mother and sister were hiding, we ran into my father. Who was happy to see I was alive despite my being covered in blood. However, when we made it to my mom and dad's bedroom. Several men in armor lay dead outside and inside the room, both of my kingdom and Chentual's."
"Oh no," Shining whispered.
"While I and I retook control of the city, an assassin's team from Chentual broke into my parent's room; the royal guards defended them as best they could. But were ultimately outmatched by my mother. Being the power magic-user she was, she was able to dispatch the assassins and defend my sister... at the cost of her life."
I felt a singular tear drip down my face. "I still remember my father and I rushing to her side while she drew her final breaths. I'll never forget that night. Not in a million years."
"Sweet Celestia, being put through so much at such a young age. Im surprised you kept it together." Shining said, trying to be supportive, putting a hoof on my shoulder.
"Oh, I didn't. I lost my shit." I commented.
"Huh?" Shining said, confused.
"That night, that same situation happened at every single kingdom in the table of twelve, aside from Chentual. Romulus looked into our chief of security logs and diary. Chentual had organized that night for the last thousand years. Turning high ranking officials traitors, importing spies and sleeper cells into each of the kingdoms so that way they could strike a crippling blow to the entire world so could get the upper hand in the war that followed that night."
"War!?" Shining Stated loudly, his face filled with shock.
"Yes, war. My military training I mentioned? I earned that fighting on the front lines, leading my men into hell. My squad consisted of my generals and closest friends I had made in that hell."
"Oh my gosh, everything makes so much more sense now," Shining said as he began to pace back and forth in front of me. "The drinking, the nightmares, the panic attacks. YOU have PTSD!"
"NO SHIT! I got a lot of shit from that hell!"
"Why didn't you tell anyone about this before?" Shining demanded stomping a hoof.
I stared at Shining armor with an annoyed expression. "My problems are my own. Why Would I forsake an entire nation's innocence with my problems?"
"Forsake an entire nation's innocence? What in the name of Celestia are you talking about?" Shining asked, even more confused.
"This world. This dimension. Its innocence is pure and natural. Imagine if myself, a seed of war. Just came in here and started preaching to the world about the war my people fought or essentially religious beliefs. I know how sentient races work. People would start to think, and those thoughts could lead to questions, questions that could lead to uprisings. Uprisings that can lead to war! Why Would I even consider risking that in a world filled with peace after the last world I was in was destroyed?"
"Wait, your world was destroyed?" Shining asked.
"And thus, we reach the end of my tale," I responded. "After twenty long years of war, we managed to push Chentual forces back to their capital city using a strategy called 'Rising and Falling tides.' I won't go into detail about it other than it worked way too well against Chentual's blitzkrieg tactics of plowing through our front lines before we could even set them up. But in the end, everyone lost the war."
"What do you mean 'everyone lost?'" Shining asked as he sat down in front of me.
"Cataclysm bombs." Those very words sent shivers down my spine. "World-ending superweapons developed by Chentual in secret. They dropped three prototype versions on our eleven kingdoms' combined armies outside the capital, wiping out a few billion souls in three separate explosions."
"By Celestia." Shining gasped as I could see a shiver get sent down his spine.
"I was in the blast radius of one of these explosions. But thanks to this talisman." I paused and reached down my shirt to reveal the necklace with my ryal pendant and the dog tags of my friends. Grabbing the pendant and holding it up. "I was transported back to the capital city of Romulios. My body was fully restored. Yet I still felt the explosion rip the flesh from my bone and boil my eyes out of their sockets. I felt my organs turn to liquid from the shockwave and then to ash in a split second before it was all reverted, thanks to my talisman. They call it a 'Spare the dying' talisman. It's incredibly hard to make and is given to royals only due to their important standing in the world. I lived to warn the kingdoms of the impending threat. My friends did not."
Shining had no words; he just sat there trying to comprehend the scale of a weapon that powerful.
"It gets worse. A week after that, we were greeted by the emperor of Chentual, who sent a global message to all the kingdoms. It was long, but it essentially said, 'You may have beaten me, but I'll make sure nobody wins.'" As he dropped a full-scale version of the cataclysm bomb on the kingdom of Grasioer. The kingdom of agriculture is the main source of food for the content. In a flash of blinding lat, they ended in a mushroom cloud and turned into a fiery maelstrom of forcibly mixed Elemental magic. Chentual turned an entire city into a crater, like THAT." I snapped my fingers for more emphasis. "BILLIONS OF PEOPLE DEAD IN AN INSTANT! THAT'S WHAT I SEE IN MY NIGHTMARES SHINING! OVER AND OVER EVERY TIME I SLEEP THAT'S WHAT I SEE, THAT'S WHAT I FEEL!" I shouted into his face before just falling forward, putting my head in my hands as I cried.
"After that, the Empoer sent out another message every month after that. Saying he was gonna leave Romulios last on his list right before he bombed another kingdom off the map. Mocking and taunting us. After he dropped the third bomb, the leftover cataclysmic energy gathered and corrupted the natural Elements of nature, causing an Element fallout to cover the world. A never-ending pitch-black thunderstorm with red lightning and deathly rain that deliberately targeted living souls and removed them from existence if anyone got struck by it. Romulios had our capital's shield generator that gave us protection from the storm. The other kingdoms weren't so lucky. We tried to fit as many people from the other kingdom as we could under our shield, but eventually, we couldn't send anyone out on top of running out of food to sustain ourselves. The oceans eventually became so polluted by rain that even swimming in it dissolved a human in seconds. So, me and my father agreed as the last surviving members of our family, as both my sister and my mother died in the war. We had to leave our planet by any means necessary. We put all our kingdoms into developing a method to get off the world as quickly as possible. When we were the last city left, and it was our turn to get bombed." I stopped and gestured to the Frontier sitting out in the rain.
"That's as far as we got. My father, in a last-ditch effort to save our people, culture, and history, sent Romulus and me along with all of the remaining unbound arcanums left in the world and all the magical artifacts we had in Romulios. In that craft, attempt to break orbit and escape the blast. Instead, we ended up here, and you already know the rest." I finished and leaned back in my chair.
"Does that mean... You're?" Shining asked slowly, as if realizing what he was about to ask was true before he even said it.
"Yup, Im the last remaining remnant of my people. I am the last human. And I have to live with that till the day I die." I answered.
"I... I don't even know... what to do with all this now." shining said as he looked down at his hooves.
"Keep it a secret," I told him.
"WHAT?!" He shouted in shock. "How do you expect me to keep THAT a secret?"
"I don't care how. Just make sure no one else finds out. I originally wanted this secret to die with me. But since Dragon lord Torch knows and I trust you-"
"DRAGON LORD TORCH KNOWS?!" Shining shouted again.
"Motherfucker stop shouting! Yes, he knows. I won't explain the details in accordance with my agreement with him. But now that you know, you will keep it under wraps, okay? If I didn't trust you to keep this secret, I wouldn't have told you and kept lying like I have been." I responded as I stared at Shining Armor, waiting for his response.
"Goshdangit Riley. Okay, I guess I'll try to keep this secret." Shining Responded.
"Good, now, if you'll please get out of my view. I need more of natures therapy to keep my ass sane."
