Dreamwalker's Tale: Project Greenwood

It was a serene night, and therefore a good one. The dreamscape was quiet, barely any creatures even crossed my way, and fewer still took notice of my presence. Not a single one wanted to engage, either in idle and neutral curiosity, or in outright hostility. The only two nightmares I found were harmless. A young colt struggled with his fear. He had passed a test at school with a less than desirable result and had kept it secret from his parents for a couple of days now. They would find out any day, according to his subconscious, and then they would do… what, exactly? That’s where the nightmare found its foothold. It was easy to root out, though. I had done this long enough to learn a trick or two from Luna when it came to dealing with ‘the young ones’, as she affectionately called them.

The other one had been a bit more difficult, but still posed little issue in the end. A mare suspected her husband of cheating on her. A suspicion that, like a long-lasting poison, had infiltrated their lives and behavior for weeks and months. Maybe even longer. It turned out easy enough to sit her down and just think things through to their ultimate end. She could lose him. In various manners. But if she did not overcome her hesitance and actually talked about it, with him, then she would lose him. All she had really needed was a wall to bounce her own thoughts off of. And I happily provided.

I grinned as I walked down the star-strutted ‘road’ the dreamscape manifested beneath my hooves. I sometimes wondered how things would have turned out were Applejack born with the ability to enter the dreamscape. Out of all the lessons I learned from my friends, out of all the virtues they encompassed and taught me, honesty was the one coming to the rescue the most. Simple, open communication.

Well, that was everything but simple at times, I could admit that.

I shook my head and tried to focus on the task at hoof. But again: There was little to focus on. Little that required attention. The dreams lazily floated around me in their everlasting dance like brilliant soap bubbles, swirling and twirling and hopping about. And my mind inevitably wandered again.

Yesterday had been special. And it had become even more special because as far as I was aware… I was the only one who knew. For a long, long time — years, decades, in fact — I had counted the days I was granted in this life cycle. Because for all the various tidbits my flashbacks granted me, they never really told me how long I got. How, when or why these cycles ended and restarted. Did I grow old and died of age? Did accidents take my life? Or was it a set timer, invisibly ticking down in the background?

Yesterday had been the 18,000th day. I had not counted that far, obviously. I could tell because of the date. I did not remember my ‘birthday’. Nopony does, obviously. Not literally. But I had no idea when I was born. I had fractured memories of celebrations across different lifetimes. Sometimes the heat bore down on the building we partied in. Sometimes snow was layering right outside the windows, high enough to block half the glass panes. Maybe I just picked a day each time. Being close friends with Pinkie meant I had to have a birthday, after all. Or something resembling a birthday, at least.

I had my Arrival Day. It was the next best thing I could think of. And yesterday had been the fiftieth. Five decades. I had no idea how old exactly I had been when I arrived. Late twenties? Early thirties? Something along those lines. And now I was five decades older. And I should feel that weight. Yet I did not. Because less than eight years ago, my children did something incredibly brave and incredibly stupid and went against everything we had decided, everything we had told them. We rarely spoke about it these days. In the privacy of my own head, I called it the ‘eternal potion’. It reverted the clock and stopped it. I was thirty again. I had not aged a day in those last eight years. My sister in spirit, Applejack, was an almost-gray granny these days. Granny Smith would have been proud.

I tried not to let the weight of the inevitable drag my heart and mood down. One day, I would need to face it. That day… was not today. Heck, we still did not understand what the eternal potion even did to me. Maybe it just added a couple years to the counter. Maybe in two days, the potions effect would be reversed. Or in two months. Or two-hundred years. Who could tell?

Despite my usual issues, I had managed to not freak out. It had taken a lot of help. But I tried to live by this old creed so many gift cards proudly proposed: Carpe diem.

I stopped walking, looked around and uttered a deep sigh. It was easy to tell myself that I did not think about it too much. But I was still, well, me. In my weaker moments, I did just that. And those were plentiful.

Before I could sink deeper into that mental muck, I noticed an ethereal wind pass me by. Not so much a gust as just a little, light breeze. It was a manifestation of my own mind, a representation of something my body had noticed.

I was currently lying in Luna's bed in the waking world. The thick and heavy curtains, black as a starless night, were drawn shut. They usually were. Because the Mistress of the Night was dealing with pesky nobles and bothersome paperwork at night, and preferred to sleep throughout the day. Therefore, her chamber rarely saw daylight.

The air movement only made sense if somepony either had opened the balcony door or the entrance door. Luna did love flying. It was a good measure to take when she needed to unwind and relax. Soaring high up above the clouds, stretching those pretty wings of hers, feeling muscles flex and contract that she rarely used, if at all, when she just walked around the castle.

But the air movement my subconscious had manifested around me in the dreamscape carried no impression of temperature. It was neither warm, nor cold. And I assumed that Luna was the one opening whichever door. The dreamscape knew no time. It was very much possible that the night was over and she came back to her quarters.

While I was overthinking things again, my visitor had done whatever he wished to do and eventually, I was stirred from my musings by a gentle hoof tapping my shoulder. It had an almost ghostly quality in the dreamscape. The softest touch, like the hesitant exploration of an inexperienced lover.

More importantly: I knew that tap.

A warm smile bloomed on my lips, tugged at their corners. She’s back.

I closed my eyes and willed the dreamscape away. I willed myself awake. Even after fifty years doing this job, that was still a strange concept on some days.

I was immediately greeted with the scent of brisk night air, cold clouds and fresh rainfall. My ears came to life and turned a little, but I could not hear the telltale pitter-patter of rain. And this mixture was so uniquely hers that I just sighed silently and inhaled a little deeper.

I still refused to open my eyes, though. Something that seemed to irk her a little. She tapped my shoulder again. Twice. My smile widened a little, bordering on a grin. “Dreamwalker… wake up,” she asked. There was something in her voice I could not identify properly. A subtle undercurrent that gave me pause. That said, I could not act on it immediately. As always when Luna was concerned, my heart fluttered a little in its cage of ribs and tendon and I wished to be playful.

“But I don’t wanna…!” I replied with an almost inaudibly quiet whine.

She tapped me again. This time, it was more of a poke, a little jab with the edge of her hoof. I pondered if maybe I had been too quiet and she did not hear me, but the very next moment, she dissolved that thought. “Not even for me?”

There it was again. That subtle tone that told me something was up. So I finally rolled onto my back and cracked my eyes open. Careful and slowly, because I knew I had left the curtains drawn shut, but it would not be the first time she opened them before waking me, just to mess with me. She was a devious prankster, after all. Never to be trusted.

The room was still dark. The beautiful night sky at the ceiling was an artistic marvel. She had used some sort of special paint to make the stars glow. Then my gaze drifted downwards and focused on her. My grin stretched a little further still. She was beautiful. Always had been. Always would be. And the urge to draw her in and kiss her was overwhelming. But! I had self-control. Sometimes, a little bit. And I wanted to test something.

“Hello, Moonshine.”

Bit by bit, her nose came a little closer, until hers touched mine. A fillyish giggle escaped my throat. A moment later, we angled our heads to cross our horns. The sensation drew a deep, satisfied sigh from me. And I could feel her smile in contentment.

When we broke apart again, she cocked an eyebrow. “That one is new.”

I nodded and proudly claimed: “Eyupp, came up with it on the spot.”

Her giggle was a little raspy. Her voice strained. Either she had talked a lot last night, or she had yelled a little. “You did not,” she countered with a head shake. “You played this moment back and forth in your head, trying to evaluate my reactions to the best of your ability. For weeks, maybe months.”

I grinned and shrugged. “That I did. So. Do you like it?”

She shifted her weight on the bed a little bit to make herself more comfortable and eventually laid her head on my chest, staring up at me. Her brow furrowed as she mulled my proposed new pet name over. “I may require your surely well-prepared explanation to answer.”

If my grin grew any wider, it would start to look creepy and split my head in two. So instead, I just nodded. Of course I had an explanation prepared. Several versions, in fact. I decided to start with the considerably shorter one. Luna was not a patient mare, after all. “Every time I see you, every time I kiss you, every time you playfully flick your tail across my muzzle or walk just that little bit closer beside me, I get light-headed and my stomach hosts a butterfly party and my heart skips a beat or twelve and I feel a little dizzy due to all that chaos. In short, you make me drunk.”

She snickered. That was a good sign. She snickered and lifted her head, angled it down and placed a loving kiss on my chest before settling down again. “I like it.”

Yes! Months worth of consideration finally came to a positive conclusion. I had enough self-control to refrain from pumping my hoof into the air. But I could tell just from the exhilarated look she shot me that she read that impulse anyway.

With that finally out of the way, my mind did what it was best at. It searched for something to worry about and clung to it like a drowning pony clung to the last plank of wood in the ocean. And I quickly remembered that quirky undertone. On many other nights, Luna would simply have entered her chamber and crawled into bed beside me. I would wake up briefly, we would rearrange ourselves until we were both comfortable and she had the position she wanted — little spoon or big spoon — and we would go back to sleep.

But she had woken me up. Deliberately. “So… what’s bothering you?” I breached the topic with the subtlety of an oncoming train.

I saw her chest rise in a deep inhale and fought hard not to chuckle as her warm breath hit me once she exhaled in a deep, troubled sigh. “I just… had a hard night,” she answered.

I could not stop my mind from going into overdrive immediately. What was responsible? Or maybe it was a ‘who’ instead? What could I do to fix things? How could I cheer her up? How could I defend her from such in the future?

Many of these questions had depressing answers. Well-familiar ones, too. But Luna had not gone into detail in her reply, which already told me that she did not want to. That the details did not really matter. That it was nothing out of the ordinary. Just a stressful night. Maybe a noble had been sassy. Maybe she had started the night with low energy already and everything felt especially draining tonight. The specifics were unimportant.

I placed a hoof in her mane and slowly stroked through that ethereal mess of beautiful blue and stars. And I forced a cocky grin to the forefront. “You know… I could harass them for you. Castle staff, palace guards, nobles, doesn’t really matter. I’ve learned enough from Pinkie and Twilight to not get caught. I could make their lives a little bit more miserable as payback.”

At least I got a quiet chuckle out of her. I had always been fascinated with the fact that Luna was so welcoming to darker humor. “You would do that, would you not?”

I grinned. “For you? Anytime.” The nobles hated my guts anyway. Putting the scenario with torches and pitchforks aside, there was little that could get worse in that regard. According to many of the so-called Canterlot Elite, I was a menace. A blemish that needed to be removed. I dared to defile their precious, untouchable princess…es. I twisted their minds into agreeing to something unnatural and corrupt. I was basically Evil Incarnate, worse than Chrysalis and Tirek. I was solely responsible for the moral decay of Equestria.

On some days, it was funny to listen to such nonsense. Especially the notion that I, a somewhat-regular unicorn, could ‘twist and corrupt’ the minds of alicorns. On most other days though, it was just exhausting. There was a reason why I spent half my time in Canterlot and the other half in Ponyville, but only one of those places felt like home.

The majority of ponies were open to the idea of love not having to conform to a specific relationship model. Open relationships, flings, triangles and whatever else — there were a lot of options out there for all ponies to pick and choose and experiment with until they all found something they felt comfortable with. If only it would stop there and remain that simple. But even though they represented a minority, they were quite a vocal minority: Those ponies who did not accept the autonomy of others. Those who felt it necessary to project their beliefs and ideologies onto others. I had never been outright attacked, not even verbally. Yet they made their contempt for me clear at any given opportunity. How dare I have the gall to even touch their precious monarch? How dare I insinuate that she was just another mare, with lovable flaws and quirks and her own feelings?

After weighing her options, Luna softly shook her head. I loved how her jaw brushed against my coat. It sent little tingles down my spine. “Thank you,” she started with that tone that already implied a shortly following ‘but’, “but no.” Well, there it is. The lack of an explanation did not faze me. With Luna I could trust that whatever was on her mind, she would say it if she wanted to. She had this admirable confidence.

It was a surprise then when I noticed a very faint blush tint her cheeks and the bridge of her muzzle. She struggled to say something and when she did, I could have confused her for Fluttershy. “Would you maybe tell me a bedtime story?” she asked shyly.

My heart fluttered a little and I sighed. I love you, kitten. I did not say it. I did not need to. Right now, I felt… needed. And she knew how much I loved that. How much I loved her for making me feel that way. Still, I was not above teasing her a little for it. “Aren’t you a little old for that?”

Her pout was adorable. I craned my neck to kiss her, but only reached her forehead. And after teasing her like that, I could not expect her to meet me halfway. Forehead will have to do, I resigned. Only after I withdrew did she quickly move in to give me a proper kiss.

Her warm, familiar lips still faintly tasted of that vile coffee she was so fond of, and a little bit of some sugary treat she had granted herself. When we parted again, I smiled and licked my lips. Despite my aversion to her favorite brew, I would not have it any other way.

“Coffee?” she asked with a wry smile.

I chuckled. “Coffee.”

“I apologize. I had my last cup an hour ago.”

I shook my head and started to lift myself off the bed sheets. “Don’t. You’re free to drink as much of that sewage as you want.” She snickered a little and threatened me with how she would keep that in mind while we rearranged ourselves on her bed. “Let me tuck you in properly and you shall have a story.”

It was a weird stray thought. Stardust, our son, was more than forty years old. Sometimes, time does seem to fly. Having him had given us more than enough experience with tucking somepony in. And we both occasionally giggled as I put those experiences to good use with her.

A minute or so later, she laid on her back, the blanket wrapped around us tightly. So tightly in fact that it was hard to move any limb at all. It could easily have been a bother, but I knew that Luna preferred it this way and honestly, I could not find anything to complain about, being stuck so very closely to her side. “Comfy?” I asked. Luna smiled and yawned in reply. She wiggled a bit, as if to test if the blanket really was such a tight fit and seemed quite satisfied with the results as she nodded.

I always liked the idea of being a storyteller. I had a whole philosophy around it. That said, I preferred to be able to prepare. A good story needed structure. Internal logic. Consistency. Compelling characters. Story arcs. There were a lot of moving parts, as with any highly complex machine. Or a living organism.

Adding to that challenge was the fact that I did not just need any story. There were additional requirements. As a bedtime story, it needed to be peaceful enough to lull her into slumber without boring her to death. I knew I was overthinking things again. All she wanted was to hear my voice. I could have talked about the weather for all she cared. But I had standards. And she had asked a self-proclaimed storyteller for a story.

I watched her for a moment.

Once upon a time, ponies had called her the Matron of the Arts. Luna had been a muse to so many. And she climbed to that peak again after her return, slowly and steadily. She was an inspiration. Her every move. Her slender form. Her voice. Every word she uttered. Somehow, she ignited passion and creativity. Enough so that it overcame hurdles like my preference for a preparation period.

She had her eyes closed. Her ears however stood at attention, informing me that she was still very much awake and waiting. She did not push me. She tried to be patient. And it worked, currently. I leaned in and kissed her cheek and I marveled at the effect. How her smile grew a little. She looked… happy. And that in turn made me happy. And it made me think about the many, many, many other times I somehow had managed to make her happy. It made me think about all the times we had been there for each other. She listened to my semi-panicked ramblings about barely coherent thoughts. I listened to her ravings about things of the modern age that were so much less complicated back then. How she could explode like a volcano about some snide remark a noble shot her way. She could not stomp his muzzle in and punch his teeth out in Night Court, of course. Or even outside of it. But she needed to vent from time to time. I watched her paint. She watched me write. I wrote short stories about her paintings. She drew scenes from my stories. I aided her in her pranks, sometimes even voluntarily. Most of the time not. She told me how her stars came to be, how she changed them, what meaning they had. I told her stories about them that I made up on the spot.

I had been lucky enough to capture her heart. Lucky beyond belief to capture not just hers, too. To this very day, that seemed ridiculous to me.

And thus, I had my story to tell.

Yes, I preferred a more organized style of storytelling, which did not lend itself well to the spontaneous winging I intended to do now. But Luna had a way to inspire me. As always. “Have you ever heard the tale of the lighthouse and the wanderer in the mist?” She grinned. I was not exactly subtle. Despite knowing already that it would be a story about us, she shook her head. After all, details mattered. Sometimes. “There was a town at the coast, bordering on a vast and seemingly endless ocean.” As I started to tell the story, I wriggled my hoof free to stroke through her mane again. As much for her sake as mine. It always felt nice to play around with it, and if her initial sigh was anything to go by, she enjoyed it as well.

“Some of the townsfolk feared the lighthouse at the very edge of town, for it had a looming presence and created dark and scary shadows. Others admired it for its slender build and creative artistry. But no matter their opinion, they all agreed on one thing: That it was a guiding light in the dark of the world, always bringing them home safely when they were lost and keeping the encroaching darkness at bay at night.” Luna snuggled a little against me. Her breathing relaxed already. She was dozing off.

“The Wanderer in the Mist was a vessel long-lost in a neverending mist at sea, doomed to endlessly travel the waves. It was a decrepit ship with too many holes, yet it was never allowed to sink. One day however, a strange and unknown phenomenon pierced the mist. A ghostly apparition of illumination that sped by so quickly, it could only have been a figment of imagination. Yet the strange new sight drew the vessel in, and as the light reappeared again and again, the Wanderer turned and sailed towards it. The lighthouse drew the dilapidated ship into the safe harbor of the town for much needed repairs and restocking. Holes were fixed and the cargo hold was filled with all the supplies the vessel could need.” Luna's breathing had taken on a slow, even rhythm. I knew perfectly well from more pranks than I could count that she was capable of faking being asleep. While her sister never fell for it, and neither did Twilight, she always got me with it. But I decided that it did not matter. I had a story to tell. My audience being asleep did not change my need to finish what I had started.

“Nopony knows why, but one day, the Wanderer had to leave the safe harbor again. The tide called, a threatening siren song. The waves would come and scrape the ship off the coastline if need be. And the town might have drowned, and the lighthouse might have fallen. The Wanderer left, heavy in the water, and steered back into the mist it had come from. Yet despite the sorrow in their farewell, an ember of hope remained. They knew that one day, a fleeting light would guide the ship back to shore. One day, their course would bring them back to this safe harbor again. And again after that, and again after that. This beacon of hope would guide the Wanderer home.” I had closed my eyes midway through. Pouring myself into a story always felt dangerous. It made me vulnerable in a way I could not defend against. My vision was blurry as I dared to open my eyes again. As expected.

A deep sigh escaped my throat. I tried to make it as quiet as possible. And I watched Luna sleep. My eyes traced along familiar paths. Paths I usually followed with my lips. The tip of her ear, its edge and base. Her cheek and jaw. Her nose, her lips. Her throat. A little nibble here, a placating lick right after. My eyes fell upon the blanket and my journey ended. I retraced my steps back to her face. She seemed peaceful. Maybe she was dreamwalking right now. Caring for her beloved ‘little ones’. I could not help but smile.

“Every time I see you, Luna, I feel inspired and excited,” I mumbled against the coat on her neck. Nothing changed. My mind wandered a little. To Celestia. To Twilight. “I love all of you. For different reasons. And in different ways.” Celestia was my shelter. My comfort. My security blanket. My love. Twilight was the center of my universe. I circled around her. She intrigued me. She could always pierce whatever line of defense I had erected. And Luna? “You are my guiding light. You are my shining star. You spur me on to be a better me. You make me want to be better.” For you, I added in the privacy of my mind. I did not say as much. Because asleep or not, I knew how Luna thought about that. I wanted to be better for her, so that maybe one day, I could be worthy of even a fraction of what I felt she deserved. And we never agreed on that.

“I love you. Each time. And I remember you from so many lives. You rarely get insecure, but I remember that one time clear as crystal. We were preparing for some sort of battle. The outcome was uncertain and many lives were at stake. They all depended on your guidance. I was with you in that sparsely furnished stone chamber when you prepared. And I heard that shuddering breath of yours between armor pieces moving into place. I said it would be okay as I put my own armor on. I said it with such conviction. Because I believed it. I believed in you. I had faith. And you asked if I would be with you. It felt like a turning point. Like this monumental event. I wanted to do it justice. I went down in front of you, on my knee as if I was about to propose. And I took your armor-clad hoof into mine. And I said…”

I swallowed. Swallowed to keep my own breath from shuddering. Even though I thought I could feel my own hooves tremble ever so slightly. It felt important.

“I, Dreamwalker, hereby solemnly swear that from this day forth and for all days to come, I will always find you, I will always follow your lead, I will always have your back, I will always be at your side if you wish it so. You are my princess. Not for that crown upon your head or that booming voice or even your nature as an alicorn, but for the loyalty your very being commands in my heart. Lives will cycle, realities might break, but I will always be with you one way or another and never have you let me astray. I love you.”

Despite my best efforts, I had heard my own voice tremble a few times. It was not a perfect recounting, then. Back in that memory, I had not trembled. I had spoken loud and proud and with the conviction of… well, of a fanatic, one might say. For all the clarity of that speech in my mind, I could not tell how things progressed beyond that. Did we win the fight? Did I die? Did we leave that almost empty stone chamber as lovers? Or as commander and subordinate?

I could not tell. I had many memories of other instances where my advances were rejected. Sometimes we managed to overcome the awkwardness of it and stayed close friends. Other times, we reduced how much contact we had with each other. It really just depended on circumstance. One more reason why I felt so incredibly lucky to have been granted fifty years in this cycle especially.

A cautious smile returned to my lips as another memory lifted up to the forefront of my mind. “I remember when Stardust was born. The doctors called me back in. They had to send me out earlier because I panicked. To be fair, you screaming bloody murder at me didn’t help matters. But when I came back in, you held that little bundle of joy. He was screaming and flailing his little limbs about. And I remember looking at you. You looked so pale and exhausted. The nurse was saying something. The doctor was talking. They were probably trying to reassure me that you were fine, but I couldn’t listen. I just saw you. Pale and weak and tired. I was so deathly afraid for your life. It was silly of me, in retrospect. I don’t know what I was thinking at that moment. But somehow you and the nurses managed to calm me down and then you showed him to me. Just like that. You gifted me the most beautiful thing I could ever have received. A family. It was the first time I remembered that oath with such cutting clarity. I felt every word resonate in my heart. The last ones especially, of course.” I smirked and dared to kiss her throat. I did not wish to wake her up. She told me she had a difficult night. She deserved all the rest and relaxation she could get as far as I was concerned. But still… I could rarely resist her allure.

The memory of Stardust's birth brought forth other thoughts. So many happy memories. Even the ones that were, on a superficial level, less desirable experiences. I sighed. “In all honesty… for all the stress it involved, for all the puke and feces we had to clean up and all the sleepless nights… I am so looking forward to making a couple more ‘little ones’ with you. Seeing you lift them up, guide them, guard them… it really is a thing of beauty. You are. And you bloom in a way that is so different from anything else. Motherly Luna, the fierce protector, made me fall in love with you all over again. Thank you, Moonshine.”

I kissed her neck a little to the side and then carefully tried to wriggle my way out of the blanket cocoon we had built for ourselves. The tightness of the blanket wrapped around us was a problem. I had known as much the moment I tucked her in. But I was confident that, with enough patience and wriggling, I could free myself. To climb out of the bed, go to the bathroom, get the day started, all that jazz.

However, that last kiss might have been too much. Luna sighed and stirred a little. I froze and laid as still as I could and watched as she rolled onto her side… and grabbed me… and pulled me close against her body. And then she almost coiled herself around me. Once she stopped moving, she sighed again and her warm breath tickled my ear. I was now more trapped than I had been previously. I loved being the little spoon, but with how things had turned, there was little to no chance of escape without waking her up.

I waited for a minute or so, just to let her sink back into a deeper slumber. And I used that time to listen into myself. My stomach was not growling at me in need of food. My throat was not scratchy due to a need of water. My bladder did not scream out in agony either. And lying here, wrapped in Luna, with her body heat seeping into my bones, with her coat brushing against mine, with her holding me as tightly as she did — I did feel a little sleepy again, despite sleeping through the entirety of last night already.

Ahhh, what the heck, I resigned in my head and smiled. I grabbed her leg, the one holding me, and gave it an appreciative little squeeze before I closed my eyes again. The day could wait, for all I cared.

A safe harbor.

I will always find you.

Live cycles. Again and again.

A safe harbor.

Remember.

I walked past Trixie’s tavern and shook my head with a smile. I could hear the blaring of somepony trying to match the melody of one of her songs. It was a good tune, really catchy. The pony currently singing, however, had a couple drinks too much and no ability to hold a tone. Despite the howling, I smiled. It was always good to know that ponies came together and had a good time. Forming connections, sharing fun activities.

I reached the dirtpath’s crossroad and stopped. A look to the left and I saw Stonewoods workshop. It was late. Maybe half an hour until sundown. Stonewood would be at home already, but something in the back of my head tickled my memories. I wanted to write him a note for… something. Some random job that needed to be done, probably. Was it about the barricade on the outer village wall? Or the bridge? Or the new houses we planned?

I could not remember. Ah well. Maybe it would come back to me later.

I turned right and moved past the last few remaining tents. The warehouse was not quite done yet, so we still had to make due with slinging a couple of covers across the stacks of supplies. A planning mistake on my part, really. Who thought it would be a good idea to put me in charge of city planning anyway? We had Flim’s and Flam’s engineering workshop ready at the edge of the village and a forge on the other side and even three early houses for Lily and Daisy, Big Mac and Marble and Treehugger. But no storage. Well, the foundations were there. They were just missing… the rest of the walls. And a roof.

I chuckled.

Greenwood was a mess. But I was our mess. We had built it from the ground up. Everypony worked hard to make it better.

“You’re on your way home?” a voice suddenly jerked me from my musings.

My head snapped up and my gaze focused on the source of the interruption. Lightning Dust. She looked beat. Probably had been up in the air all day, fighting sticky, spiky, ill-behaved Everfree clouds. She had so much nonsense to deal with these days that her boisterous nature took a backseat. Her voice lacked the usual aggressiveness and bite.

“Aye. You’re done for today as well, I assume?”

She answered with a wry smile. “Oh I’m done alright. Fucking clouds.”

I had the decency to blush. I did not curse, or use swear words, or any of that language. She knew. And she got a little rise out of seeing my reaction to her using it. But honestly, if that was the worst I had to fear from her these days, I would gladly accept that. “You’re heading to Trixie’s place, then?”

Lightning nodded with an eager grin. “Gonna catch her private show, if you know what I mean.”

I chuckled a little bit louder than I would have liked. “Lightning, everypony knows what you mean. The village isn’t that big. Even with the Everfree on all sides, it’s not hard to hear you two.”

She was not embarrassed in the slightest. I envied that, sometimes. She never seemed to be embarrassed by anything. She simply grinned, shrugged and that was that. “My regards to the princess,” she said with her best impression of a haughty Canterlot voice.

I grimaced a little bit. “Don’t be a jerk.”

Lightning had already walked on, but halted again to look back. Her brow furrowed and she seemed to consider something. I had no idea what. There were a couple of ponies whose thought patterns completely eluded me. Lightning was one of them. Did it really require ten seconds to decide not to be an asshole? “Say ‘hi’ to Luna,” she ultimately corrected herself.

I nodded gratefully. “Will do.”

We parted ways. Lightning went to Trixie’s to get her kinks worked out and I went home. When we started this place, it had quickly become clear that there was much to do. Too much, in fact. The restoration of the castle would take ages. Months, years, maybe even longer. It was not a viable option to just rebuild the darn thing and then build a town around it, oh no. We needed the town first, to provide enough infrastructure to then start rebuilding the damn ruin into its former glory.

The initial efforts had still provided enough work to secure some parts of the castle that were less damaged by time. Parts that we managed to make habitable. A couple new windows and doors and some of the rooms were almost as good as a home.

I passed through the massive, grand entrance hall. In a corner of the hall stood the mirror we used for emergency teleportation back to Ponyville. It passively collected magic, absorbed it from the surrounding environment. One day, the Everfree might return to its unspoiled, non-chaotic state. On that day, we would have to retire the mirrors. Because they worked just fine, feeding off the chaotic energies all around us. But without the chaos, they would probably start to tap into every other source of magic.

Including ponies.

I took a left turn and walked to the end of the hallway. A simple wooden door greeted me. I could smell candles and cooked vegetables. It raised my mood already. And as soon as I opened the door, a little body tumbled out and against my hoof.

My parental instincts kicked in hard. I quickly scooped him off the ground with my telekinesis. “Have you hurt yourself?” I turned him this way and that way to inspect him for scrapes.

Stardust grumbled. “Dad, I’m fine! Put me down!”

“Why were you leaning against the door anyway?” I asked while I finished my inspection and then slowly put him down… onto my back. That however was something he did not complain about. Even at his age.

“Because he could not wait for you to return,” Luna's voice sang from somewhere inside.

“Mooom!” he whined on my back.

I was about to enter when lightning flashed in the corner of my eye. It made me freeze mid-step. I listened, but no thunder followed. I had been tired on my way back, true, but I had not seen any clouds. A rogue lightning storm could spell trouble for our village. Most buildings were still wooden in nature. Lightning was beat and we had few ponies who could jump in and do her work.

“Dad?”

I slowly turned around and walked a couple of steps over to the window. The sky was clear. A colorful display was in full swing, about to move from soft pink tones to deeper reds. I loved sunsets. But my gaze was drawn down, towards the village.

Greenwood.

A flicker.

A vision.

A home.

A family.

A safe haven.

Another strike of lightning. Or maybe just a flashing light, I could not tell the difference. For a fraction of a second, I saw a town. Saw a sprawling collection of stone buildings, so different from the assembly of a couple wooden huts we had so far. Another strike. Paved streets, electrical streetlights, carriages and passengers and buildings with a dozen stories. Another flash. They came quicker and quicker now. The village was gone. Just a clearing in front of the castle. A sparsely wooded area. And the chaotic, hostile Everfree all around us. An idea in the back of my head.

We should build here.

Every cycle started the same. Me at the edge of the Everfree. That damn bird trilling its song. Twilight finding me. Taking me in. Becoming the gravitational center of my world again. Every. Single. Time.

Some things never change.

“Mom!”

Greenwood never changed. Not truly. It was there. Here. Always. Built and rebuilt, time and time again. A universal constant. Like that Celestia-forsaken bird. I arrived in winter, buried in snow, and it was there and sang. I arrived in summer, baking in my own skin, and it was there and sang. I arrived at night and it was there and sang.

“Mooom!” Stardust's worried voice barely reached my mind.

“What is it?” Luna's voice answered.

“Dad’s having a seizure again!”

Seizure. What a stupid label. But it had been the best way to explain to him what happened. What sometimes happened to me. When the memories came back and flooded my mind with fractured bits of other lives.

I felt a hoof cup my cheek. She forced me to look away from the rapidly blinking, flickering, flashing lights of an ever-evolving and -devolving Greenwood. A safe haven, a home, a constant in my life, lives.

“Look at me.”

I looked out the window. The sky itself changed with each flash. The forest retreated and invaded.

“Look at me!” she commanded.

A light in the corner of my eyes. A different light, in the other corner. A guiding star. Leading me to safety. Leading me home. I followed her voice. My head turned, slowly, as if fighting a battle against… what, exactly? Or who? Maybe I was fighting myself. It would not have been the first time.

Her beautiful cyan eyes. I could drown in them and die happy. Her lips were pressed into a concentrated, thin line. “Focus on me,” she asked. Her horn was aglow with sizzling magic. I tried. I did that a lot, after all. For her sake. But it was hard to do. The flashes from the other side were so quick now. Every half second, maybe. “Stay with me,” she pleaded.

I sighed. And closed my eyes. They were tired. As was I. Tired of seeing. Tired of remembering. I closed the distance between us and was elated to notice how much she welcomed my kiss.

My memories tried to guilt-trip me. Had I not kissed Twilight in very much the same manner in another lifetime? Had I not kissed Pinkie, my wife, in a different one? Or Derpy, despite us never marrying?

The weight of lifetimes threatened to crush me. The burden of memory. I clung to her lips in sheer desperation. I wanted to stay with her. I was home. I had a family.

I heard Stardust snivel. A strangled sob. It almost made my heart break. More importantly, it reinforced my resolve. I was here. Now. With them. Maybe I had been the husband of somepony else some other time, some other life. It was not supposed to matter here and now.

I opened my eyes. And I soothed my son's fear. I was not about to go anywhere. I would stay here, with them.
I looked up at Luna. Relief washed over her expression, but was quickly joined by something else. “I made your favorite,” she teased. Always with the teasing.

I smirked. “I doubt that. My favorite doesn’t fit on a plate.” I deliberately eyed her flank.

Half-lidded eyes. A sultry tone in her voice. She turned and walked inside, beckoning me to follow. My gaze was fixed on her swaying hips. “We shall see about that… later.” I followed her inside. And as far as I was concerned, I would have followed her to the end of the world.

I woke up again in the early afternoon hours due to something. I had a hard time telling what was responsible for stirring me from my slumber at first, since my senses were still rearranging themselves into a comprehensible pattern. The blanket was gone. That was the first thing I noticed. Because I shivered ever so slightly, even though the room temperature was not exactly cold.

Luna was gone, too. Not entirely though, as it quickly turned out.

I was on my back and I heard her inhale deeply. Before I could open my eyes, I felt the tip of her tongue make contact with my sheath. It was such a tender touch, as if she needed to test first if I would simply break were she to put more force behind it.

I shivered again.

“Good morning,” came her wanton greeting. It was quickly followed by a long, deliriously slow stroke of her tongue.

I involuntarily threw my head back and bit down on my tongue to prevent myself from uttering something unbecoming. Seeing how I already struggled to contain myself, she giggled in amusement and repeated the process once more with very similar results.

My head swam in a mixture of desire and euphoria, confusion and the remnants of a sleepy haze. What was happening? And why? Had she simply woken up horny? It would not have been the first time, but I was overwhelmed anyway. I always was.

A little trail of kisses and cautious nips along my stomach and chest and neck until she lunged for my lips. She was powerful. She was pushy. She wanted something, and she went ahead and got it. With Luna, many things became quite simple. It was thrilling, really.

I gathered my bearings enough to at least reciprocate the kiss properly, even as she plunged her tongue into my mouth. I might have moaned slightly at some point, simply due to how fast everything progressed, but I could not tell for sure and neither did I care particularly at this point. I wrapped my hoof around her neck and pulled her further in and she gladly followed the invitation.

Her hoof went exploring in the meantime, rediscovering familiar shapes, curves and paths. My breath hitched a moment when the edge of her hoof firmly pressed against my slowly emerging erection. “Hng… L-Luna!” Honestly, I had no idea what I even wanted to tell her. Or what I wanted, in general. She did a fine job at moving things along quick enough to keep me off-balance.

As soon as I thought I had regained some semblance of control and was getting more actively involved with the kiss, she broke it. And her muzzle quickly traced back down again. “F-hmng…” The sounds she made as she swallowed a good deal of it were most certainly a deliberate choice on her part. She knew all too well how to drive me crazy. And she did her best to do it as fast as possible.

I knew I would not last long this way. Maybe that was the point for her. I could go multiple times, given a breather in between, but the current speed was dizzying. More importantly: For as much as she had her fun right now, and she never seemed to grow tired of stating how much fun this was for her, I knew that she was left wanting. Wanting more, wanting something else, wanting something for herself. I tried to sit up, but she must have noticed the slightest movement, as her hooves immediately snapped forward and pushed me back down. She retreated from my loins and looked up at me, an inferno of desire in her eyes. “Let me reign,” she half-asked, half-commanded.

I kept my futile struggle against her powerful hooves up for about a second, maybe two, before I gave up and gave control over. Her grin was a promise as much as it was a threat and it sent shivers down my spine. With her previous ministrations, it had grown to full size and she was a little more careful in what she did, how, and how quickly. Despite this, I could only utter a guttural moan as the warm wetness of her mouth enveloped me once more, inch by inch until she found her rhythm again and her head, wobbly ethereal mane and all, bobbed up and down.

I could feel the pressure built. ‘Letting go’ was not one of my strengths when it came to oral. I tried, fought, to keep my climax at bay. I would do so to the very last second and beyond. Sunny had been the only one who could coax me into a state relaxed enough, or maybe just distracted enough, to let go. Then again, Luna probably relished the challenge anyway.

I pressed my eyes firmly shut, grinded my teeth, pawed at the sheets in an attempt to grab hold of something, anything. And I could feel it. Like a wall of solid steel, looming in the distance. I would smash against it full speed. Despite her best efforts, I could not let go. It would get uncomfortable, or maybe even painful, and it would kill the mood.

Sex, at least for me, was very much a mental thing. And I was very good at being my own roadblock.

“L-Luna…” I urged. She quickly picked up on the tone, slowed down and released me. Despite that fear quickly flaring up, there was no judgment or disappointment in her eyes. Just the flames licking away. “I want you so badly right now,” I managed to squeeze out after catching my breath a little.

She smirked in response. Her devouring gaze traveled down my body, made me feel naked despite rarely wearing clothes to begin with, and landed on my rhythmically throbbing erection with its flared head. “You are not going to last long,” she mused with a proud grin.

I gave her a quirky smile. “Do you care?”

The question was rhetorical in nature. I knew she did not. I always made sure she had her fair share of fun times, one way or another. Therefore, I did not have to wait long for her to sit down on her belly. Her tail swished from side to side impatiently, her eyes dared me and I had no desire to wait even a second longer than necessary. Not after the incredible start she had given us.

I lit my horn and fumbled with the nightstand drawer. And in turn, she leaned over and traced her tongue agonizingly slowly over every ridge of my horn. I shuddered and whined a little as my magic fizzled out. “Don’t,” she murmured straight down my ear, her hot breath tickling me.

A part of me had questions. Protection was important for many different reasons and I did not mind the condom at all. There was a reason for her action, surely. But neither could I figure it out on my own right now, nor did I manage to care particularly. I trusted her. Simple as that.

So I scrambled to my hooves, positioned myself behind her and mounted her. My entire length was already slick with her saliva and even a cursory glance told me that she was positively dripping. Had I even attempted any foreplay, she would probably have stuffed me in there like a toy. A strangely thrilling idea for another time. Instead I aligned myself and pressed the head against her entrance. The room's air, despite not being cold, had felt freezing and the moment I sank into her, inch by inch, and the searing heat of her enveloped me, I moaned my satisfaction out into the open room. And she quickly joined in, much to my delight.

“Sweet stars, you feel so good…!” I mumbled as I kissed between her shoulders. Once I was fully hilted, I stopped moving altogether to take a breather. I could feel it. She was right. I would not last long. But neither did I want to, or felt the need to.

She looked over her shoulder, our gazes met. So much lust that it made my head spin. A cocky grin on her lips, her tongue tracing along them. “Fill me up,” she whispered.

Hearing those words alone made me twitch inside her. “Gladly,” I replied and withdrew a little. I loved to see how her eyelids fluttered. “Until you overflow…” It was such a stupid thing to say. But it made her bite down on her bottom lip and seeing that was just sexy. I pushed back into her, elicited another moan from her throat and grabbed her flanks with both hooves. It did not take long to find a comfortable, steady rhythm.

It was admittedly slightly derailed as my legs buckled when I climaxed the first time. But I steeled my resolve and tried something that I attempted on the regular, but rarely succeeded at. I tried to power through. I simply kept moving, gritted my teeth and focused on her, on her hitched breathing, on her moans, on the heat of her walls clamping down on me, on her scent that quickly filled the entire room until everything I could smell was her, and oh my goodness was it intoxicating.

I kept going and felt my balls occasionally slap against her winking clit and that as well conjured an image in my head that simply served to keep me moving. I came a second time and tried to force my way through again and this time it felt even easier than before. Luna writhed beneath me, her hindlegs occasionally spasming and kicking. She bit down on the cushion as she grew louder and louder, until I grabbed the stupid thing, tore it from her mouth and threw it off the bed. I wanted to hear her, I needed to hear her!

I heard her howl beneath me as her body trembled. Her attempts to utter my name had been incomprehensible and she pushed her hip back against mine with every push despite the earthquake tremors running up and down her body in waves. I had heard her orgasm so many times over the years that I could tell that she had one more to give. One more to get. And I was determined.

There was a twinge in my nethers I tried to ignore as best as I could. I scraped together as much concentration as I could muster and once again lit my horn. A tendril of magic snaked beneath her tail, past the slick mess we produced and wrapped itself around her hardened little knob beneath. I withdrew from her body halfway and leaned over her to get as close to her ear as I could. “One more round, my little Moonshine. Cum for me!”

I bit down on her shoulder. Hard. The very same moment that my magic started to squeeze her clit, rub over it, pull it and push it, the same moment that I rammed back into her with whatever strength I had left to pick up a desperate, no-holds-barred rhythm. Or rather, more like an assault, an onslaught of whatever I could offer.

Hearing me use that kind of language did a trick on her, I knew that. I did it for her. And only her. And that thrilled her to no end. Coupled with everything else, she did as I had asked. She had still been riding the last weak waves of her previous orgasm when a new one followed suit.

Her cry reverberated throughout the room, a delight to my ears despite her impressive volume. I buried myself deep within her and stopped, so that I could finally ease up on myself a little, but I kept my concentration entirely focused on manipulating her clit, prolonging each wave devastating her. With my hooves still busy keeping her steady and in place, I found myself tenderly kissing her back, showing my affection in a more subtle way.

And I found the right moment to ease up with my magic as well. I gave her free, and after what felt like… a while, I retreated from her beautiful, messed up body and marveled at our work. I collapsed backwards, sat down on my haunches and simply… breathed.

Luna's hip remained slightly raised for a little longer. A spectacle to behold, a marvelous sight for my eyes only. Until she became increasingly unsteady and with a final, deep sigh, she let herself collapse to the side. Her flank landed in an impressively sized puddle of mixed fluids. “Ew,” she commented with a light giggle. I quickly chimed in with my own.

Despite the mess we made, I crawled right up beside her and held her tight, with my head coming to a rest on her shoulder. “Had fun?”

Her eyes were closed. Her chest rose and sank in deep but frequent breaths. A smile graced her lips. And the latter grew into a grin once my words registered. “You did marvelous,” she praised.

I snorted, but refrained from disagreeing.

Maybe half a minute later, she cracked her eyes open again. She quickly oriented herself in the room before spotting me leaning on her. And I did not fail to notice that her inferno was still there.

Somehow.

I chuckled and shook my head a little. “And you call me insatiable?”

With a final deep sigh, she turned onto her back and drew me into a deep, longing kiss. The kind we usually shared before we started what we had just finished. So at least I thought we had finished. It quickly turned out that she had a different opinion on the matter.

These few minutes, the kiss included, had not been enough. That brief time had not been kind to my private parts, not after what I had sent them through. I had simply overdone it a bit. But I found it hard to regret any of that, honestly.
Luna raised her head a little off the bedsheet and once again whispered with her hot breath tickling my ear. “Will you be my mare, firecracker?”

The question made me blush as much as the pet name did. I could feel myself light up, could feel the heat radiating off my ears and my muzzle. I could feel myself getting hard again, despite the soreness and exhaustion. I looked at her with wide eyes, and she gazed back with both hunger and love. It was impossible to say no to that. And to be fair, from a more practical standpoint, it neatly circumvented the entire ‘I’m sore’-problem. For both of us.

I nodded shyly and could only imagine my hesitant-yet-eager demeanor riling her up some more. Deep down, she was a warrior. And she wanted to conquer and claim.

A moment later, I felt her magic wrap around me. I had already felt the telltale tingling sensation of strong magic being cast before, so I assumed she had transformed herself first. The cool touch prickled a little on my skin, and as usual, the transformation did not occur without inducing at least a little bit of discomfort and pain. After all, the magic basically shrunk my balls away and reverted my sheath inwards. A profound alteration of the body in, despite what it felt like, a very short amount of time.

That said, we had more than enough experience with this spell by now. I inhaled deeply when I felt the magic working and exhaled slowly while it did its thing. Focusing on my breathing helped deal better with the pain. It probably would not have been such an issue were I less of a snowflake.

The spell had worked, I could already tell. Despite this, routines were important and I exhaled until I ran out of breath. Only to immediately gasp as I felt Luna’s muzzle at my rear. It was probably quite telling that my first instinct in this situation was to actually flag my tail and fling it to the side instead of covering myself up.

She once again took a whiff before trailing her tongue over the more sensitive areas in broad strokes.

She’s trying to get me off-balance again, the little minx!

I shivered in delight under each lick and whimpered quietly whenever she withdrew her tongue. “Stars above,” I muttered as she probed my entrance with the tip. At the same time, her magic massaged its way along my flank, across my cutie mark and beneath to cautiously grab and rub my now present teats.

I rolled over onto my back. It was a means to multiple ends. First off, it allowed me to get my rear away from her muzzle, which in turn allowed me a breather to collect myself. Also, it made her growl a little in dissatisfaction, which I found to be both cute and exciting. Secondly, I was now in a very good position to do something I utterly hated when I was in any other setting than this one: I was able to lay bare. To present myself fully and unhidden to her. And I did. Because no matter how much I struggled with my own image and my self-worth, seeing that desire in her eyes as she devoured me with her gaze was not just thrilling, it felt like it was healing something.

I mustered as much courage as I could under her burning gaze. “T-Think you can m-match me?” I meekly tried to challenge her.

And as per usual, Luna was brimming with an aura of confidence. “I know I can,” she answered and stood up. I did see her right foreleg wobble a little as she did, and I did consider commenting on it. But Luna was Luna. She knew better than me what she could and could not deal with.

Her standing up had the additional effect of me getting a really good look at what was now dangling beneath her barrel. Depending on perspective, that thing looked like it had the length and girth of a freaking leg. And that was supposed to fit inside me.

Worse still: I knew it could.

I always thought it was adorable how her addition sported some splotches of black color, almost comparable to the dark patches on her flank. It made it so much more hers. Luna herself gave its appearance no mind, really. It was a means to an end for her. But I always thought that I would probably be less into this if it wasn’t for that monster being so much her.

“Ready?” she asked sultrily.

My eyes had not left that fifth leg since she stood. She had stepped closer, slowly. She loomed over me, impressive, intimidating, a force to be reckoned with. And I loved her to bits. She was Luna. My Luna. I craned my neck and raised my head. Just enough to make contact. To plant an almost chaste little kiss on the flared head of her erection.

I would never get used to the slightly bitter, salty taste.

But at the same time, I could not deny how wet it got me to imagine what she was about to do to me.

I spoke without thinking. “Ravage me…!”

There was a tender, loving glow in her eyes, dancing in parallel to the smoldering inferno. She leaned down and we kissed and for a brief moment, I wondered what she thought of her own taste, if she could even notice it. I refrained from asking. I had difficulties talking this openly sometimes.

“Gladly,” she replied, her voice still laced with that very same tenderness.

Despite an impressive amount of experience, Luna had never really accustomed all that well to having this addition. Not in terms of bodily coordination. I lit my horn and grabbed hold of it and I guided her lower. But at the same time, I relished that little bit of power by denying her entry. Instead I tightened the grip I had and made her buck a few times by fondling her balls a little, with her erection brushing along my stomach. It felt… really nice. Even though I knew perfectly well that the main attraction would be ten times better.

A grumbly grunt finally caught my attention and clued me in that she was running out of patience for my antics. I grinned up at her. “What? Not satisfied?”

She cocked an eyebrow, aligned herself this time and I could feel the head poke at the right place. “What was that?”

I gulped and chuckled nervously. Now it was her turn to tease. Again. And quite honestly, without her even trying, I could understand why she was not in the mood for it. I reached up with my forehooves, grabbed her cheeks, pulled her down into a passionate kiss and let my eyelids fall close. “Take me,” I begged her as our kiss ended.

I did not have to ask her twice.

The initial pain was almost nonexistent and vanished within seconds. I had grown more and more accustomed to this over the years. In a similar vein, Luna quickly fell into a steady and rough rhythm. She wanted to pound any sense and rational thought out of my head. And I was very much into that.

I could feel her buildup. She was pumping in and out at an increasing pace, her head rested right beside mine, her moans and sighs served to push me forward as much as mine reached her ears close by.

“D-Dreamw-ahhh!”

She probably tried to warn me that she was close. As if I could not tell already. I lunged for her ear, bit down on its edge and used my hindlegs as best as I could to pull her in every inch of the way, as deep as she could go. She came for me. And it felt great. Heavenly. Liquid heat sloshed around within me, I could feel the first telltale sign of my own contractions while her member just pushed and twitched and made a mess of me and her and the bed.

And just like I had done before, she merely waited for a couple of seconds after the last spurts had been released before she cautiously started to move again. I quickly gave her free, gave her free reign to find whatever rhythm served her well now. And within moments, we were back to her relentlessly pounding me.

I was well past the stages where I even tried to muffle myself. Every time I had tried in the past, we had come to the same conclusion. I wanted to hear her just as badly as she wanted to hear me. I usually was a quiet type. Subdued. Controlled.

But she brought out a side of me that I sometimes barely recognized as myself.

“H-Harder!” I screamed, one of the very few comprehensible noises I produced. With a deep, strained grunt, Luna complied. And three thrusts later, she pushed me well over the edge. I tried to bite down on her shoulder to muffle my banshee wail, but she grabbed my mane with her magic and roughly pulled me back. It somehow only added. She stared me straight in the eyes and I tried to keep that bridge, that contact, for as long as I could before something forced my eyes shut again.

Everything felt like it was convulsing, everything twitched and spasmed. I did, she did, the bed did, everything was both hot and cold and prickled and tickled, everything was light and heavy and instead of feeling crushed from inside like I had a moment ago, I felt release. Sweet, sweet release.

I collapsed. Or had collapsed half a minute ago. My perception of time was a little… skewed.

I used strength I did not have to crawl a few inches over to her side. I put a hoof over her chest and giggled in what I assumed was quite a silly manner as I felt her rabid heartbeat. An angry drum toiling away endlessly in her chest. Her coat was matted with sweat. Her breathing was labored. I could feel the mess we had made, both leaking from myself and from earlier. I did not care right now, could not.

The thought of kissing her crossed my mind. The thought of telling her how great she had been. How incredible that had felt. How much I loved her. But honestly, it was all too much. Too much of a hassle to talk right now, to string words together into coherent sentences. Too much to lift my head again. Breathing was already so hard. It required focus and effort.

A minute passed by. Maybe two, or four.

I calmed down, regained a semblance of composure. So did she. Luna slowly rose from the bed and climbed out. She cast a spell I was quite familiar with by now and cleaned her coat of any traces of our activities. It almost saddened me. I had been proud of our mess. And then she did something very silly.

She took a few tentative steps towards the door. Not the balcony door to release the smell of sex into the wider world and let fresh air creep in, no. The chamber entrance door.

I furrowed my brow. “And where do you think you’re going?”

Luna looked back at me, a wide smile on her lips. A tender one. Loving. The inferno had subsided, it seemed. Quenched for now. “I thought about making some preparations for dinner. I am sure my sister would be grateful for that. I also thought that I might get an early start on paperwork. Maybe I can manage to stay on top this time.”

I snorted. “Oh you stayed on top alright!” I teased and snickered. Luna rolled her eyes, but still grinned like a madmare. “I’m sure Sunny’s going to be so… impressed,” I continued and nodded towards her downstairs.

She blinked a moment and looked under her barrel. A rock-hard addition stood at attention and dangled around freely. It baffled me how she had failed to notice that when walking. But I had to admit, it was just the cutest to see her blush in sheer embarrassment.

“Thank you for the, uh, reminder.”

She was about to dispel the transformation, I knew that. And something within me was very much in favor of not doing that. And I knew a thing or two about my Luna. “So you give up and accept my win then? Neat.”

Luna stopped. And dismantled the spell she had been about to cast. She looked at me and slowly raised an eyebrow, accompanied by a cocky grin. “You cannot take any more,” she claimed resolutely.

Hook, line and sinker. I cranked my own cocky grin up to eleven and uttered the fatal words: “Try me.”

“Dreamwalker, be reasonable, you—“

Be reasonable? Who was this and what had they done to my Luna? I chuckled and cut in immediately. “So the mighty Luna finally found her match, backing away like a coward from the one she could not conquer fully. Hey, don’t get me wrong, it makes for a good ending to a good tale. Certainly an interesting sequel beg!”

Luna growled. Like the fiercest timberwolf one could imagine. Like a really pissed timberwolf. She turned around, fully towards me, and stalked towards the bed like the predator I knew she could be. Like the warrior going in for the kill.

And in my silly little horny-daze, I was simply elated to see her erection give a twitch.

“I am going to fuck you into submission!” she growled. Every word was spoken slowly, with conviction and purpose, to make it crystal clear that I had asked for what was to come.

It was the first time in the last couple of hours that it slowly dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, I had bitten off more than I could chew. Despite the slow realization, I could not deny the excitement I felt quickly building up. And I sealed my fate with another bout of stupidity. I raised my chin proudly and proclaimed: “I want to see you try!”

Minutes later, I stopped edging.

Minutes later, I stopped worrying.

Minutes later, I stopped thinking.

When she was finally done, I was numb. Sore. Exhausted. Dizzy. And very happy.

“U…” I mumbled in a vain effort. “W…”

She giggled, despite massive exhaustion being written all over her own face. “Yes, firecracker?”

I felt a shiver run down my back. It was almost uncomfortable at this point. Almost. A goofy grin plastered itself all over my face. “… won…” I uttered. Who won? What was won? Who knows. I drifted off into the black void of sleep.

I woke up hours later.

I groggily lifted my head and peered over to the balcony. The curtains were still drawn shut. The smallest gaps between them and the floor betrayed no daylight. It was therefore a reasonable assumption that it was nighttime. That would also serve well to explain the cold emptiness where, according to my foggy memory, Luna had to be. I reached out with my hoof despite the realization, as if I could find her by some miracle. Maybe she was just lost in the blanket, curled up to keep the warmth all to herself. Maybe she was hiding, or invisible. But no, there was no Luna. Her scent obviously lingered in the air. It always did. That was just a side effect of living in a room, of spending a lot of time in said room. It always smelled like her in here. But there was no warmth left in the sheets. She must have been gone for a while.

That too made perfect sense. With my memories slowly returning, I remembered.

For all the fun we could have, Night Court was very much a thing. One dear to her heart and important for both her own sanity as well as Equestrias balance. I knew that. I knew that she had to prepare. That she needed to keep up appearances. Yet despite my knowledge and understanding, I mourned what could have been. I sighed in slight dismay as I longed to wake up next to her, feeling her legs still wrapped around me tightly.

I rolled onto my back and stared at the beautiful scenery. The painted night sky at the ceiling. I let my mind wander, my thoughts flow like water in a stream. It carried me to different places, sometimes several at once. But I eventually landed back where I began and had to ponder once more a by now familiar question. Luna always inspired passion in me. She made me want stuff. As far as sexual experiences went, I considered myself relatively vanilla, with very few exceptions. And every time, Luna somehow managed to make ridiculous things incredibly enticing.

The gender modification spell was an oldie in our repertoire. An oldie, but a goodie. I greatly enjoyed it, with her, each time. And that troubled me somehow. Always. But always just afterwards. In the heat of the moment, I was thrilled, I was excited, it felt right and I did not wish to change a thing. And I was not willing to call it ‘regrets’, those troubling thoughts I experienced afterwards. I did not regret doing it.

But I had to ask myself over and over, each time: Did I enjoy it more? Maybe ‘too much’? If so, why? Was it right or wrong? Did such a thing as ‘right or wrong’ even exist in this context? What did my enjoyment of such a spell even mean? Did I consider myself a stallion? That question, at least, should have been easy to answer. I had dangly bits, therefore: Stallion. Right?

Well, not quite.

I rarely thought about these things at all. Because nothing ever really pulled anything of that matter into question. I did not think of myself as a stallion. I thought of myself as, well, me. There was no gender attached. And why should there be? I was me. Dangly bits included, because, well, that was just how it was.

I could feel the familiar weight between my hindquarters. The transformation spell must have run its course sometime while I slept. Or maybe Luna simply canceled it when she left. Despite recent activities, they felt strangely heavy. As if they wanted to remind me of their presence.

“Ugh. Buck me,” I groaned.

Well yes, she did that quite thoroughly. The thought made me both grimace and chuckle at the same time.

I tried to distract myself. What use was it to brood over this nonsense. I had never come to any decent conclusion in the past, and I surely would not tonight. I rolled over to the other side and buried my muzzle in her cushion. I inhaled so deep that my lungs started to complain with a burning sensation. It smelled like her. Like her mane, like cloud stuff, like that shampoo she used. Familiar. And I released that air in a deep sigh, a mixture of happiness and longing. “I miss you already,” I mumbled into the darkness. Luna would have easily been able to distract me. She always could.

I crawled a little further towards the edge of the bed. I had been sleeping for a ridiculous amount of time in the past day. I needed to get out of bed and into the bathroom. I needed to brush my teeth, at least send a brush through my mane and tail once and probably take a shower.

Not in that order, though.

And then I spotted a little card on the bedside table. Folded in the middle, so it could stand and was more easily visible. ‘Firecracker’ was written on it in elegant hornwriting. I smirked. So it had come to this now, had it? We sent each other notes now? I lit my horn, grabbed hold of the note and floated it over. The levitation generated enough light in the otherwise pitch-black room to read it as soon as I opened it.

‘It is fine with me if you visit my sister.’

I chuckled quietly. She knew me all too well. When I would wake up. How I would wake up. What I would do and think. The light emanating from my horn increased in brightness as I poured more energy into the telekinesis spell. I spawned a second tendril of magic and grabbed hold of a feather on her desk at the far side of the room. I opened the nearby ink well, dipped the feather in and brought it over to the bed to write my answer beneath. ‘I love you so, so much!’ It was simple. Maybe even plain. But I thought it properly conveyed my gratitude nonetheless.

I put the note back down on the nightstand and climbed out of bed. My hooves touched the cold marble tiles and I shivered a little. I took a minute to redo the bed before I snuck into the bathroom. There really was no reason for me to actually sneak around, but I did so anyway. Because I preferred to not make any sound if it was possible. Force of habit, really.

I limited myself to the necessities. The shower was a quick one. I loved to shower for up to an hour. It was excessive. This time it took barely ten minutes. I did not wait for the water to warm up either. In and out. I brushed my mane and tail with half a heart and half a mind, since I did not expect whatever I did to it to last long. It was nighttime. Sunny would be asleep by now.

I did brush my teeth properly and thoroughly though. For some reason, that was a part of my personal hygiene where I could never, ever cut corners.

With all of that done, I stalked back into the main bedroom chamber and towards the door. I opened it, tried to walk out as normally and as casually as possible and spared only a slightly awkward “G’night” to the two night guards who stood to either side.

And as soon as I rounded a corner and was out of sight of anypony else, I stopped. Luna knew me well. But she had written that note in case I needed to crawl under somepony’s wing. So the question then was: Did I truly need it? Was there sufficient reason to go bother Sunny and possibly disturb her slumber?

Much to my dismay, I could feel it. The nagging voices in my head, deeper in the darkness, at the backside. They would not remain there. With every moment of my focus slipping, with every minute of my concentration lacking, they would advance to the forefront. Because I was a worrywart. Worrying and tearing myself down and doubting were such integral parts of me. Twilight was still having panic attacks to this very day. We all knew. We were all prepared to face them in different ways. She had gotten so much better at dealing with them herself. But they still occurred. And I had made progress as well, but at the same time… the voices never truly left. The memory of Luna railing the everloving heck out of me was still fresh and vivid in my mind. More so the memory of just how much I was into that. And inevitably, the voices latched onto that. Tried to taint it with their sinister questions. I enjoyed that spell. Too much? And what it allowed. What did that mean? And how it made me feel. Who are you even?

I sighed. I stood in the middle of a hallway in a dimly lit castle all by my lonesome and sighed. And I hated that slight quiver I heard from my own breathing. It was decided, then. I really did need that comfort shelter again.

I weaved through familiar hallways, from one side of the castle to the other. I was glad, incredibly so, that barely anypony was around at this time of day. The castle staff was asleep, gone home or busy doing stuff in other areas of the castle. Only the occasional guard was around, mostly doing their best not to get bored out of their mind even though they were stationed to guard a gosh-darn door. Most of these doors, and the rooms behind them, were not exactly what one would call ‘enticing targets for infiltrators’ anyway.

On my way over, I could not ward the thoughts off entirely. The insecurity creeped back in. The anxiety reared its ugly head. It was always the same afterwards. I hated that. One more reason to briskly trot towards Sunny’s chamber. Her mere presence was a calming influence and never failed to comfort me.

I saw the doors and refrained from speeding up any further, lest the guards would see a maniac barreling down the hallway, straight for the chamber of their precious Princess. Instead, I trotted up to the two guards in front and gave them a nod. “Good evening.” I grabbed the handle of the door and neither of them objected. Or replied. Or did anything, really. Which meant that neither of these two was a familiar name or face to me beneath those illusions, nor did they care to make a fuss about my late visit or the fact that I entered after the princess surely had gone to sleep.

I liked these two already.

I closed the door silently behind me and took a moment to breathe. I closed my eyes, listened inwards and tried to calm my rapidly beating, raging heart down. I wished I could have growled at myself for that almost unnoticeable tremor that made my knees weaker. But I did not want to even risk waking her up. She too probably had a long and arduous day behind her. She deserved all the relaxation she could get.

I just needed to… snuck in, somehow.

Once I felt confident in my own ability to not freak out, I took several tentative steps forward. The good thing about constantly sneaking was that I got a lot of experience and familiarity with the exact required modes of movement. I made no sound while I crossed the room and stepped up to the edge of the bed. I saw her journal waiting patiently on her nightstand. I saw another book on the other side. The latest novel she tried to read. I had been so proud that she had picked one of my recommendations over one of Twilight’s for once.

And right there, in the middle of the rather spacious bed, she was. Even though her frame was twice my size, she seemed so small and lost right now. Her blanket had slipped halfway down, most likely due to her occasional thrashing and turning. Her wings occasionally fluttered in agitation. Her hindlegs kicked. Her ethereal mane was a tangled mess and her face twisted between several states nopony beside her lovers was ever allowed to see. Pain. Grief. Fear. Anger.

Another nightmare, I surmised. I probably ought to feel bad about it, but somehow seeing her like this made me feel better. Because here I was, capable of helping one of my loves. It changed things. I was no longer just the intruder, trying to sneak into her bed late at night in hopes of scrounging together some calming influence. No, now I was that, and the savior who just happened to be at the right place at the right time to help.

It was stupid. I was well aware of that. It should not have worked like that, but such was my head. I took a deep breath, shrugged the self-deprecation off and carefully climbed in.

I knew Sunny well enough to anticipate certain behavior from her, asleep or otherwise. I slipped under the blanket and grabbed it with my magic in one go. I dragged it back up with me while I crawled higher and laid down close to her. Not right against her, but close to her. With my back turned towards her. Then I merely inched backwards a little. Just enough that at some point, I touched one of her hooves. At that point, she became aware of me. I had no idea if she woke up or not. Probably not, seeing as she did not utter a single word. But like a drowning pony, she clung to me. The moment her subconscious realized that there was something to hold and squeeze, she did just that. She grabbed me, pulled me in and held me tight. Like a scared filly clinging to her favorite stuffed toy.

A deep sigh escaped in a shuddering breath. And over the course of the next few minutes, I listened intently to her slowly calming down. Her wings still rustled occasionally, but their frequency had diminished. She did not kick anymore. Her breathing had slowed down a little as well. Yet despite all this, I was under no illusion that the nightmare was gone.

I shifted around a little. Just enough to stir her. And as expected, she turned around. Sunny pressed into me, and I accepted our role reversal. I was the big spoon now. For the considerably bigger pony. I smiled and accepted that, as usual, with a hint of amusement. Then I grabbed the blanket again and tucked us in properly before I dimly lit my horn and touched her neck. “Let’s see what we can do here,” I whispered and let sleep claim my consciousness yet again.

This time was different though. Because now I had a task to focus on. An important one.

With the dream slowly breaking apart, I knew that she would wake up soon.

So I withdrew and once more willed myself to wake up. Somewhere in the back of my head, I already speculated about how these last two or three days would mess up my entire sleep schedule for the next week or so. Because I was just that much a creature of habit.

I blinked a bit and lifted a hoof to rub the sleep out of my eyes. While yes, it was still dark outside, I could tell that dawn was drawing closer. Rare were those occasions where I was actually awake before her. Rarer still were the days when I was not just awake, but ready to go and willing to get up.

Sunny loved sunrises. So did I and I would have loved to witness them more frequently alongside her, if only it was not for the ungodly time they occurred at. But due to a series of events, we had just such a day, it seemed. I just hoped she would not disapprove of me being here. At least in my opinion, there would have been good reason for that.

With a mighty yawn, she stretched her limbs. And I gave her free from my tight hug. She must have noticed the retreating limbs, as she lazily rolled over onto her other side. We lay muzzle to muzzle for a moment and despite my initial fear, I saw no grudge in her eyes. Then again, out of all my loved ones, Sunny was the hardest to read.

I tried to set the mood with a little silliness. She usually appreciated that. “Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake,” I started the little rhyme Twilight and Cadance shared at any. Given. Opportunity. Not that I — or anypony else for that matter — minded overly. It was adorable. But it was fun to tease them with it, Twilight especially. Because I would never dare to tease Cadance.

A sly smile graced my love’s lips. “Do not expect me to dance please, I fear I might not be quite awake enough for that…” I grinned and placed the faintest kiss on her nose. And I chuckled quietly when she wrinkled it in response. “You had fun yesterday?” she asked.

And there we have it. Bringing the topic up had been inevitable, really. There was no need to search for a guilty party. Yet despite this, I still questioned myself. Maybe I had not brushed my teeth thoroughly enough and she had noticed a faint scent of coffee that could logically only belong to Luna? My mind only needed a couple of seconds to brew up some worrying scenarios that would have been hilarious, had my mind not decided to take them seriously.

Adding to that, for as hard as Sunny was to read most of the time, the years had taught me a little here and there. And she had asked that with the faintest hint of an uneasy undertone. I loved all of my special someponies in different ways and for different things. Different needs. Different desires. Many of the parts of myself I vigorously explored with Luna were areas I rarely explored with Sunny, if at all. It was not necessary. Or even wanted. It did not feel right, neither for her, nor me. Different partners with wholly different boundaries and dynamics.

I had wondered many times what they got out of the deal. I was pretty sure I knew what I got. But what in the world could I give that they desired enough to keep up with my… what did the nobles call it? Frivolities? Depravities?

I was told not to question it. I was told to trust them. And over the years, they had tried so hard to tell me. To show me. To make me understand what I had to offer.

I never quite got it.

But at the end of the day, did it matter if I understood? Sure, yes, in those weak moments when I started the cycle of doubt and misery all over again, then it mattered a lot. But on most days, it did not. I made them happy. Somehow. And they made me happy. A lot. And we all worked on our weird little constellation, because we all wanted it to work.

Sunny was smart. She knew why I was here. We followed a schedule. I was currently supposed to share some quality time with Luna. For another day or two. I was early. Being early was not an issue. But showing up early without any notice whatsoever, that was out of the ordinary. Especially for someone like me, who preferred organization.

So she knew. It certainly was not the first time I showed up at her doorstep because of this. Luna usually tried her best to take the aftercare into her own hooves. And she had gotten considerably better at it. And it angered me to no end that there even needed to be an aftercare at all.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and recentered myself.

“You are overthinking something again,” Sunny said. Calmly. Quietly.

“And you never do that?” I shot straight back. I immediately regretted my flaring temper. Regretted lashing out at all, and worse still, lashing out against her of all ponies.

But she took the harsh tone in stride. She had heard a lot worse. Even from ponies close and dear to her. She merely smiled and leaned closer to press the softest, warmest kiss on my lips. It made my throat tighten up. “There is no need to be defensive, love,” she let me know. “Remember, I am on your side.”

It was such a ridiculous notion. There were no sides. Nopony was battling. Nopony needed to die on any hill. No flags were waved around. Yet she always seemed to know what I needed to hear. Even when it was something ridiculous. I felt my eyes glaze over with unspilled tears. “You have no idea how happy it makes me every time you say that,” I whispered back. And I merely whispered because I did not trust my voice not to waver were I to raise it even slightly.

Her smile remained steadfast. “I know,” she disagreed.

“That’s just because of the tears,” I claimed and tried to turn my head away. I tried to bury my muzzle in the cushion in hopes that the fabric would absorb the unwanted liquid.

But she would not let me. Her horn lit up and she held me in place. “No, I know despite the tears,” she insisted.

I kissed her.

Just like that.

Because the urge was there. And because it felt right. It could never not feel right, I imagined.

There was no tongue involved, no flickering embers of passion, no raging infernos of desire, just… a deep fondness of each other. And trust. An overbearing amount of trust. And I was glad for its immense weight to keep me grounded.

A few minutes later I actually managed to get up again. We both climbed out of bed and despite her room having about the same temperature as Luna’s, I did not shiver this time. Because I walked pressed tight against Sunny and her body radiated such a welcoming warmth. I opened the balcony door, we stepped outside and sat down at the edge, in front of the railing. We watched the spectacle of the changing colors, then she lifted the sun that tiny bit over the horizon. Somewhere else within the castle, Luna put the moon that tiny bit below it. She was not at her balcony, maybe she was still busy with preparations for breakfast. Or maybe some pesky noble or scribe or aide or whatever was keeping her busy at Night Court again. Right now, my focus was here, with Sunny.

Despite the beauty of the scene before us, I could tell that something was bothering her. And where Luna would just spit it out in her own time or get rid of the issue by her own means, Sunny was… different. She had a hard time asking for help. Something I was too familiar with myself. She was always willing to help those she cared about, with whatever she could muster to provide said aid. Again: Something I knew a thing or two about.

We had a few things in common. We were both very supportive ponies who cared greatly about the happiness and well-being of those dear to us. We were both willing to make sacrifices for them, often with little regard to our own well-being. Familiar patterns in the weave. It made it easier to understand her, sometimes. It helped me help her, and vice versa. Because if I started limping now, she would not be able to disregard it. She would need to help, or at least ask and see if she could help. It would allow me to coax the truth out of her.

I started my charade with a sigh. “I’ve been thinking about… stuff… recently. Again.” Another sigh. “I had hoped that I would have gotten rid of them by now. After so many years. But they keep cropping up every now and then. These moments when I feel so incredibly inadequate… and broken. Fractured, barely held together with duct tape and good will.”

The trap was set. And without a single lie, as usual. She could tell. Always. But for all the trouble my own head provided me with, every once in a while, being so weird had its perks. This was one of those. It took Luna weeks or even months to get her sister to discuss whatever problem nagged her. I could cut that time down to a few days, maximum. Because fake-limping would never cease to be effective against our type.

Sunny knew exactly what I was doing, of course. And she was not exactly thrilled by the prospect of having to divulge this information. But neither could she resist the trap. Because there was no harm in it. And maybe she could help me. She really wanted to. As much as I wanted to help her.

“Do you need help?” she asked. And it almost sounded like a plea, no matter how measured her voice was, how calm she appeared to be. I knew that question. It was twisted on the way from her brain to her tongue. The original was: Please let me help you! I knew that, because this was a back and forth. We had switched positions often enough. And I had asked that very same question so many times.

“Not really,” I continued. “Nothing you could do.” Maybe I should feel ashamed. I was manipulating her, was I not? That did not sound very nice in my head. But at the same time I could acknowledge that it was a necessity. That all communication was a form of manipulation. That she knew what I was doing and was simply following me along out of sheer good will, because she could have stood up and left at any given point and yet she did not.

It was a dance, really.

I liked that comparison. I could not dance to save my life. Everypony who had ever seen Twilight dance thought she could wreck a ballroom. Then they saw me ‘dance’ and took that back. I could still, after fifty years, count how many times I had danced in my life and the number would stay in the single digits.

But as a comparison it worked really well. Familiar patterns. Sometimes I lead her, sometimes vice versa. Step, step, twirl. Step, step, twirl.

It was a lie, of course. Especially for an alicorn of such magnificent wealth, power and wisdom. ‘Nothing you could do’ was a little bit ridiculous. But the easiest, most obvious fix was a simple distraction. She knew that. And what better way to distract a supportive pony like myself than to give him something worthy of his attention? Something where he could help and feel better about himself by doing so? Something to positively reinforce him?

She could easily shove any other topic in front of me. She could try to distract me. Divert my attention. Heck, even now, she could simply get up and walk away. She would not. But she could.

Because it was a familiar dance and we both knew the steps and the result.

In a way, it warmed my heart, really. She trusted me. She was willing to dance with me. She believed that I was capable enough not to wreck her ballroom. Maybe that’s the point where the metaphor gets weird…?

Sunny stayed quiet for a while. And I let her. I was patient and waited. Until she sighed. “Every time I wake up relaxed and refreshed like I did just now, I know exactly who to thank for it. Because for all her strengths, subtlety is none of Luna’s.”

I instantly remembered so, so many instances of Luna putting on a bombastic, grand show. To impress the little ones, frightened by their nightmares. To intimidate said nightmares. To make an impression when she entered a room full of ‘important ponies’. To make Twilight gasp and gawk at her.

The latter ones were especially funny and cute.

I chuckled and left it at that. Sunny extended her wing around me and squeezed a little and I leaned against her in response. Her warm coat was a contrast to the cold marble tiles of the balcony. Her downy embrace almost lulled me back into peaceful drowsiness. “So you had a pleasant dream, I assume?” I knew for sure, of course. I stood aside and guarded her night. Sunny's nightmares were persistent creatures to the point of stubbornness.

She nodded, and yet that sigh that followed was a little too morose for my tastes. “I know the feeling. I hoped this nightmare would end one day. That it would simply stop and vanish. But such is the price for banishing my sister, I suppose.”

I pressed a hoof against her and brought some distance between us, just so that I could look up at her. “Don’t. We’ve been over this time and time again, love. You ‘paid’ more than enough with a thousand years of isolation and loneliness. This nightmare is torture. Simple as that. But! It gets better.” I turned around a little and wiggled myself free of her wing. As soon as I could look back into the bedroom, I lit my horn and grabbed that journal from her bedside table and brought it over to us.

She saw the floating book and sighed yet again. “I know. Twilight showed me all these graphs. Per week, per month. The changes became most noticeable per year and decade. Their frequency declines. But I still fear they may never fully cease.”

“You will never have to deal with this alone. Every time they come, we will be there for you. We will be with you,” I promised.

“Will you?”

It was a simple question. But it implied a lot. And for all my silly little hopes and stupid dreams and wishes, I was not naïve enough to commit as thoroughly as I had wished. Because I could not guarantee that we would be there. Luna could be slain. Twilight could be busy on some scholarly travel on the other side of the world. I could be long dead due to age. Heck, there was an argument to be made that I was overdue already and only remained alive and in decent health because of some magical shenanigans.

“Well,” I started hesitantly. But at least one thing I could promise with certainty. “We will try.”

Because of that, I was sure: Luna would never give up on her sister again. Twilight would never stray from the one pony who had fulfilled so many roles in her life and shaped her mind to such a vast degree. And I had loved her for fifty years without ever regretting it a single second. I had no idea how that whole ‘eternal potion’-thing would turn out. If I was truly immortal, maybe the vast tides of time would change how I felt about her. Maybe a hundred years in the future, or a thousand, or a million, I would fall out of love with her. But even then, given our shared history — would I ever deny her help if I could give her help?

As if.

I leaned back in, grabbed her wing with my magic and wrapped myself in it once more. She gladly accepted the closeness. “We’re with you, you hear me? You’re going to have to try harder to get rid of us.”

She giggled faintly. For a brief moment, I had managed to coax some levity out of her. It did not magically erase her problem. Her nightmares would return. Probably for years to come. After a millennium of those, it had taken us fifty years to get to a point where they only occurred sporadically. I thought that was freaking fantastic work! That was incredible progress. And it was, it truly was. But I could understand her impatience. Every night with these dreams was a hot knife pressed into a raw wound. One that had been left festering for far too long and only recently had been cared for.

As with so many things, it would take time. Some more yet than it already had.

But it was a start. And I was willing to try to lift her spirit a little further. So after a moment searching for something to tell, I found a memory that made me chuckle. And if it amused me, it might be able to make her smile as well. “Do you remember that day we christened that large indoor swimming pool?”

I looked up to see her raise an eyebrow at me. It was most likely my fond, nostalgic smile that drew this particular reaction. “I do,” she replied. “I went into the water first to heat it up. I warned you not to come in yet because it was quite hot, yet you would not listen.”

I grinned and nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah, that day!”

“Twilight had to teleport you out because you would not come out on your own,” she continued recounting the events.

“Such a great day,” I remarked.

“Twice,” she added. Sunny then furrowed her brow. “Luna, of all ponies, chided you for your recklessness while your circulation was about to give out.”

“You know, remembering that day always fills me with so much love and joy,” I continued undisturbed.

“If I remember correctly, she went into full-on panic when you finally did collapse.”

“You know, we really ought to use it more,” I noted. “It’s been ages since last time. And I like swimming as much as I like seeing you swim.”

“Twilight almost had a panic attack as well because she thought Luna would collapse due to hyperventilation any moment.” I looked up at her. She looked down at me. A few seconds passed by before we both started to giggle. “It was a good day,” she finally admitted.

Silence once more fell between us. We watched the rest of the sunrise, until a random idea struck me. “Tell you what: How about you go to the bathroom while I fetch the checkers? Luna will probably—“ walk funny, I almost continued but managed to stop myself in time. “—be slower than usual, so we should have enough time for one round without you being late.”

It would be a quick game. It always was. In terms of battle strategy, I was utterly incapable of reaching the same heights she so effortlessly did. But I did not mind losing to her either. I always felt like I had learned a new trick, or understood one of her tactics a little bit better. And if that failed, I at least always got away with the feeling that she had fun. And that was worth a lot to me.

Sunny smiled and leaned down for a quick kiss. “That does sound delightful. I take it you are not coming with me to breakfast, then?”

I answered with a wry smile. “Luna will probably want to tease me relentlessly. I know you sometimes get uncomfortable when she really gets into the swing of things. It’s been a good start of the day so far, so… no need to risk spoiling that, right?”

“That does sound reasonable. Thank you.” I tried to wave her off, but she would not have any of that. So instead, I stood up, grabbed her cheeks and kissed her again. With a little more force this time around.

“Now get your pretty flank into the bathroom so I can smack it around on the battlefield afterwards!” I threatened. Even though, seeing her unbroken streak of wins, the ‘threat’ rang a little hollow. But it served to amuse her and that was well enough.

While Sunny was busying herself, I prepared the battlefield. Checkers was obviously quickly set up and left me with a few spare minutes, which my mind immediately latched onto. When Sunny reemerged from the bathroom, I found myself thinking about that impromptu story I had told Luna, and the strange fractured dream I had encountered as a result of it.

I knew myself well enough to realize when I was concocting some sort of idea. And to be fair, many of the intricate pieces fell into place all too easily and willingly. It was maddening, really.

So we played. It did not take many moves to realize I was once again doomed. Being as distracted as I was certainly did not help me. I sighed as I stared at the board for a minute after my demise had been announced. “Yeah, I… didn’t see that one coming.”

“I noticed,” she teased with a playful tone.

I looked up and shot her a grin, but my mind quickly drifted back. It simply refused to stay focused on anything else. I had an idea. And it was a really annoying one. The kind that would not let me distract myself. The kind that demanded to be processed in some shape or form. I put both my forehooves over my eyes and dragged them down slowly. “Urgh. Fine,” I muttered and looked over to Sunny. She was simply patiently waiting for me to talk. She probably had from the moment she left the bathroom and saw what I had yet to realize. “So I may or may not have a really stupid idea for a longer project that would require me to go back home early and might keep me occupied for a couple of months.”

I had hoped, despite better knowledge, that dropping this kind of bombshell would upset Sunny at least a little bit and make her plea for me to stay. But she was too understanding, too patient, and way too selfless. I really should have seen that next question coming. “Will it make you happy?”

I grimaced. Slightly. “I don’t know yet. It might. Either way, it… it feels like something I should do? No. More like… something I need to do.”

Sunny nodded. “Then you will have my full support, of course.”

I sighed. Of course.

Despite my slight annoyance and disappointment, I still smiled. Because she had my back. She would always have my back. I stood up, walked around the table and hugged her. “I love you.”

And without a second thought, she hugged me back. “I love you too.”

And that was that.

Bucking Greenwood.